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Shepard watched as Tali tried to sneak into the gun battery for the fourth time that week. She really wasn’t as subtle as she was obviously trying to be. When they were together earlier that day, Tali had stumbled over an obvious lie about why she was spending so much time with Garrus lately. You didn’t need to be good at reading people to realize what was going on there.
Shepard sighed and put her mug into the sink. For the sake of her poor infatuated heart, she didn’t need to sit there and torture herself by trying not to notice how long Tali stayed in the battery. She took the elevator up to her cabin and tried her best to bury herself in dossiers or hammerhead schematics or whatever else Cerberus had sent her way recently
--
“Garrus, what am I doing wrong? I told her I wanted to link suits with her and then I panicked and told her I meant it in a friend way! I’m an idiot…” Tali grumbled, leaning against a nearby console.
“Ah, I believe the humans call that the ‘no homo’.” Garrus chuckled. “So the opposite of what you’re going for.” Tali shot him a look through her helmet, and they had known each other long enough that she knew he could tell. He feigned ignorance anyways. Bosh’tet.
“Yes, but how do I actually follow through with it?” Tali sighed. She had been trying her best to hit on Shepard for a solid month with no success, in part because of her own incompetence, but also because Shepard was so thick headed.
“Just tell her before Kasumi makes it her business to tell her for you. She has an itchy trigger finger, so to speak.” Garrus said, turning back to his console. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish some calibrations…”
“You didn’t help me at all but alright, Vakarian.” Tali said, leaving anyways. “Make sure you keep your mouth shut. I may not be able to talk to women but I’m more than competent with a shotgun.”
--
“Liara, I need your help.” Shepard said, striding into her shadow broker headquarters. Liara hurried over to her from her console, a worried expression on her face.
“What is it Shepard, how can I help?” she asked, laying her hand on Shepard’s shoulder.
“I think Tali and Garrus are together but I love Tali.” Shepard blurted out before she could stop herself. Liara rolled her eyes and gave Shepard a small shove.
“You came so quickly and on such short notice that I had assumed something was drastically wrong, that someone had died or was dying, but you’re really just lovesick.” She chuckled. “I should’ve known. When we were fighting Saren you visited engineering awfully frequently.”
“Yes, Liara, I know, I’m a useless lesbian. Now will you just help me?” Shepard pleaded.
“What makes you think she and Garrus are together?” Liara asked, typing away on her terminal once again. She had a knowing look in her eye that Shepard didn’t like one bit.
“Tali visits Garrus in the gun battery a lot-“
“You visit me a lot, next.” Liara said, raising her eyebrows in a challenge.
“And she always looks like she’s trying to be sneaky when she goes in there-“
“We all know Tali is private, especially about sensitive issues. She may very well just be asking him for advice, or using him as a sounding board for something. You know, like friends do?”
“And I just have a hunch.” Shepard finished weakly, knowing Liara had a point but not wanting to listen to it.
“And as we both know, Shepard, you’re often wrong.” Liara smirked.
“Hey! I’m not-“ She started, but Liara shot her a scathing look. “Okay you’re right. But only about me being wrong in the past! I’m right about this.” Shepard muttered, crossing her arms and looking anywhere but her smug friend.
“If you want to stay and catch up, you have to promise me to just ask Tali if they’re together. I can’t believe you didn’t go for the most obvious and straightforward solution first. It’s very unlike you, Shepard.”
“Well it was nice seeing you, Liara, let’s catch up some other time when you’ve forgotten about this! Goodbye!” Shepard said, already out the door and halfway down the hall. She didn’t have to be in the room to know Liara had her smug “Shepard knows I’m right” smirk plastered on her face.
--
Shepard was doing her best to enjoy what passed for coffee when Tali got off the elevator. Shepard could feel her stomach drop, but the combination of sleep deprivation and caffeine rush had her up and out of her chair before she could stop herself.
“Headed to see Garrus?” She asked, desperately trying to shut herself up but failing miserably. “You two have been hanging out a lot lately. It’s got people talking” Shepard wished she could kick herself.
“Uh.” Was all Tali said. “What are people saying?” She asked cautiously.
“Oh you know,” Shepard started. “That you two are a thing. A couple.” Tali’s shoulders relaxed minutely, but Shepard caught it. Interesting.
“He wishes. Actually, he doesn’t. But it sounded cool to say that, didn’t it? It was funny in my head at least. I’m babbling, aren’t I? Well we aren’t dating. Oh, but he’s expecting me. I have, uh, to help him with the gun. The big one. Bye, Shepard.” Tali sputtered, walking backwards the entire time. When she vanished into the gun battery, she could hear Garrus cackling. What the hell.
--
“That was a trainwreck.” Garrus said, laughing so hard he had to support himself on the wall.
“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.” Tali snapped.
“Twenty credits says Shepard is still standing there, stunned.” Garrus said, ignoring her distress. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone speak that quickly before. This is getting embarrassing, Tali. Just tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Shepard said from the doorway. Tali let out a squeak and jumped like she had just gotten caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“That Garrus is dying!” She yelled.
“What?” Shepard and Garrus asked in unison. Garrus looked at Shepard and shrugged.
“I’m definitely not dying. I’ll leave you two to it.” He grimaced and slipped out of the room.
“Tell me what, Tali? Are you okay?” Shepard said softer, stepping closer. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“It’s just that, uh, I like you, a lot. And I keep trying to tell you but I panic and then I say something stupid or tell you I love being your friend, which I do! But also I want to be more than your friend. But I don’t know if that’s what you want? But it’s what I want. So. Uh.” Tali blurted out, clearing her throat awkwardly. Shepard’s face broke out into a grin.
“I want that too, Tali.” She grabbed Tali’s hand in her’s. “I’d like that a lot.” She tapped on Tali’s helmet lightly.
“I hope you’re smiling under there.” She said, leaning her forehead against Tali’s helmet.
“I always am around you, Shepard.” She whispered, squeezing her hand gently. “I can’t help it.”