Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alex is barely in the door of the precinct when Kara’s voice shouts, “What happened to your hair?”

She hasn’t even spotted her sister yet when her gaze lands on a wide eyed Winn who stares at her from his desk.

This wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. Alex isn’t even supposed to be on duty today, but she’d wanted to pick up some case work for later tonight.How the hell was she supposed to know her sister would for some reason be just hanging out at her work?

“Kara?” Alex questions, when she realizes she’s standing just beside Winn’s desk, purse draped over her shoulder like she’d been preparing to leave. If only Alex had better timing. “What are you doing here?”

“Kara and I are going out to lunch,” Winn says, looking back and forth between them like he’s a little worried about what might follow. “I invited you but you said you were busy.”

“Oh,” Alex responds, feeling a bit of the tension fall out of her shoulders. She’d completely forgotten about that interaction with Winn, but she’s thankful that Kara wasn’t just here waiting for her.

“Alex,” Kara says again, vision trained towards her head, “Your hair.”

“Oh yeah,” Alex clears her throat. “You said I needed a change so… I took your advice.”

Kara blinks a few times before meeting Alex’s eyes. “When did you…”

“A few days ago.” Alex still can’t quite gage what this reaction from her sister is.

“It looks great, Alex,” Winn says, sounding amazed. When she turns just slightly to look at him, his smile is wide and whole expression bright with excitement, like she’s just told him his favorite video game is getting another installment. He stands up to get a closer look, “Who did you go to? My barber keeps cutting mine too short and -”

“Sam.”

This stops him in his tracks, his hand held in the air like he’d been about to reach out and touch it. “Oh wow.” He moves around her to take a look at the other side.

She fights back the urge to smile and stand up straighter. The truth is, the change really has been good for her. It’s kept her mind off of all the things that had been bothering her before and made her more confident in just a matter of days. 

She’s been getting compliments left and right, both from strangers and acquaintances. She’d stepped into coffee shop just this morning and had someone in line, as well as the barista, say something about it. Even the people in the neighboring apartments had said something to her as they’d run into each other in the lobby, people she’s barely talked to despite living there for years.

It’s weird how right both Sam and her sister had been about it making a difference. 

Kara is still staring at her, and Alex can’t tell if her expression is one of approval or not, but it’s definitely shocked.

“So…” Alex starts again, staring at her sister across Winn’s desk, “What do you think?” It doesn’t matter, not really, what Kara’s opinion of the haircut is, but she’s Alex’s sister and Alex wants her to like it.

Then Kara’s face is spreading into a smile. “I like it a lot, actually.” Then she’s stepping forward to join Winn in his inspection of it. While he had stopped himself from touching her, Kara doesn’t have the same restraint. She lifts her hand to run it through the long parts at the top first, then rubs lightly at the close shave on the sides. “I never thought you’d cut it so short.”

“I didn’t either.”

“You’re really embracing the lesbian thing, huh?” Kara says, raising her eyebrows in the joking way Alex is familiar with. She’s still petting Alex’s head.

Alex jerks out of her grip with a laugh. “Hey!”

Kara erupts in a fit of giggles. “But really, it looks great.”

“It suits you,” Winn smiles down at her. He must sense her pride at the remark, because this time, he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm over her shoulder and pull her against his side in a hug. 

“Sam did a good job,” Kara remarks, looking at it again. 

Alex has to bite her lip to keep them from quirking up at the remark. She lifts her own hand to push it back off her face again, reveling in the texture of it against her palm, “She did.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us to lunch?” Winn asks again. “Take the hair out for a test run?”

She laughs again, but shakes her head no. “I would say yes but I really do have plans for today.”

“Like?” Kara questions.

“I’m supposed to watch Ruby.”

Kara’s brow furrows and she seems like she’s about to say something when Winn butts in again.

“To repay her for the haircut?”

Alex smiles, and instead of telling them that she’d volunteered to do it before she’d even decided to cut her hair, nods.

They’re a few episodes into season two of The X Files. It’s been very slow going to try and rewatch all of it, considering Alex only watches Ruby once or twice every few weeks, but every time Ruby is over she immediately wants to start watching again, which Alex doesn’t mind at all.

The credits are rolling on episode when Ruby’s stomach growls.

“Want me to make some popcorn?”

“Yes, please.”

“Okay,” Alex pushes up off the couch and grabs the remote, hitting pause before stepping over Ruby’s legs to venture into the kitchen area. 

Alex smiles to herself as she hears Ruby flop down along the length of the couch, taking up the spot she’d just vacated as well as her own.

As Alex grabs them each a bowl and pulls a bag out to place it in the microwave. As the timer starts and the popcorn begins to cook, she leans against the counter, looking at Ruby, who’s turned her attention back to her phone. “Where did your mom need to go anyway?” She asks. 

“A PTA meeting.”

“She’s not happy, is she?”

Ruby glances up from her phone at Alex.“No, she’s not.”

“So that’s why she had that look of fear in her eyes when she dropped you off,” Alex remarks, just as the timer for the popcorn goes off.

Ruby laughs as Alex turns to open the microwave.

Behind her, Ruby’s voice starts up again, “You know… I can think of something even scarier than PTA moms…” She says, voice trailing of mischievously.

“Oh yeah?” Alex picks up both bowls of popcorn. Upon returning to the living room, she catches the sneaky look beginning to form on Ruby’s face.

“Oh no,” Alex says, in response.

“Another horror movie-”

“Your mom might kill me-” Alex cuts her off, flopping down beside her on the couch.

“No she won't!” Ruby laughs, shoving at Alex’s shoulder. “You watched the last one with us! I promise I won't even be scared.”

“What about the X-Files?”

“The X-Files will still be here later!”

Alex sighs, shaking her head, “What do you have in mind?”

“The Shining.”

“No.”

“It’s winter now! It’s perfect timing.”

“Ruby.”

“Come on, Alex!” Ruby pleads, “You let Kara watch The Shining when you used to babysit her!”

“How do you know that?”

“When her and Winn were over you guys said so!”

Alex shuts her eyes, silently cursing herself for allowing that one to slip out. When she opens her eyes to meet Ruby’s, the big, pleading, doe eyes that Alex knows are just for show, she cracks.

“Fine, but if you have nightmares please tell your mom that it was your idea and I was powerless to stop you.”

Ruby grins and settles back onto the couch. “Deal.”

Sam really, really, really, hates the other PTA moms. She’s nice to them, because she really has a hard time not being nice when it comes to things other than work or Ruby’s safety, but now it’s a much better idea for her to interact with them as little as possible.

It’s not that they’re bad people, in the grand scheme of things, but they’re just so haughty and fake in a way that makes Sam’s blood boil. It’s obvious that they all look down on Sam. They’re nice to her, but from day one they’ve noticed her age in comparison to Ruby’s and treated her different, like they pity her. Then of course they’d asked about her father in a prying way, their tones barely masking their judgement, and when Sam had answered that her father wasn’t around… Their ability to view her as capable had flown out the window, as though she hasn’t managed to do just fine for both herself and Ruby for the past twelve years, like she doesn’t help run a fortune five hundred company at the age of twenty eight. They only seem to remember she has the job she has when it works for against her, like she can’t be a good mom with a job like hers, which hits a little too close to home for her liking.

However, out of all the PTA mom’s, Nancy is by far the worst. She’s always bragging about her husband and his money and all the things she can spend it on as well as her kid, Erika, who’s just about as awful as Nancy is. She’s always the one to offer Sam condescending smiles and snide comments about how hard it must be to be so young and raising a child or how tired her or Ruby are looking nowadays. She’s been trying to make herself come off as superior to all the other moms, and the worst part is that it works.

If Sam didn’t feel the need to come to these meetings she wouldn’t, and she knows Ruby would be perfectly fine with that, but now she’s got to prove a point to these other women that she’s just as capable as they are, despite the age difference and her lack of a partner (she’s sure they’d love to know that she’s gay on top of being a teen mom).

This meeting is particularly hard. The school has a holiday recital coming up and they have to plan for it and of course Nancy has both brought the snacks for the meeting as well as an entire binder full of ideas. She hands it off to Principle Coburn and with a smile that says ‘I-Spent-Days-Doing-This-But-I-Want-You-To-Believe-It-Was-A-Few-Minutes.’ Sam isn’t an angry person, but she finds her nails digging into her palms at the interaction.

The food that Nancy brought isn’t even good. Sam is glad that she can at least find comfort in the fact that she’s a better cook than this woman.

“How do you have the time?” Sam hears another mom, who she thinks is named Rebecca, ask Nancy.

“I really don’t,” she says, with an exaggerated shrug, “but I find it.” 

Sam clenches her jaw, thinking about how Nancy has all the time in the world to do things like this, since she doesn’t work, she just uses her husband’s money on purses and jewelry and decorative pillows.

Then Sam takes a deep breath and forces a smile that she’s sure is more of a grimace. 

She glances over to find Coburn taking her place behind the podium on the other side of the room. She seems like she’s about to say something right when Nancy’s shrill voice cuts her off. “Let’s get this meeting underway, people!”

Sam watches as Coburn deflates slightly and is glad that she’s not the only one to see Nancy for how she really is. 

Coburn starts into a spiel about the holiday pageant as Sam settles into her seat, choosing a spot next to a woman she’s never seen before at a meeting who seems close to her in age and hopes she’s made the best choice possible.

Sam doesn’t plan to start conversation if she doesn’t have to, but the other woman immediately turns towards her. “Hi,” She greets, sounding somewhat awkward.

Sam smiles and hopes it’s more genuine than her last. “Hello.”

“Uh… I’ve never really been to one of these things before. I’m just an aunt and my sister-in-law doesn’t have time for this anymore and I’m honestly not really sure how I got roped into this but-” She rushes.

Sam can’t help but let out a laugh, liking the other woman instantly. “It’s alright, I get it, trust me. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be either.”

“Oh,” The woman looks relieved, the tension in her shoulders disappearing easily. “Good to know,” Her lips quirk up. She still seems slightly nervous.

Sam holds out her hand, offering it up for a handshake, below the table. “I’m Sam.”

The woman glances back towards the rest of the group quickly before she’s taking Sam’s hand into her own firmly in a sneaky introduction. “Julia.”

Sam grins and whispers back, “Nice to meet you, Julia.”

“You too.”

“I can’t promise this is going to be painless,” Sam jokes, turning back to watch as the meeting gets going.

“At least we have each other?” Julia whispers back, sounding unconvinced.

Sam hides her laugh behind her palm.

The two go quiet as the committee starts breaking down the specifics. 

“Who’s going to do the decorations?” Principal Coburn questions.

A hand immediately shoots up. Sam barely resist the urge to roll her eyes.

“Okay, Nancy, that’s great… The programs? Alright, putting Nancy down a second time… Posters? … Nancy again, okay…”

Julia leans over in her seat to reach Sam. “Is she always like this?” She asks, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

Sam nods, making her expression as serious as she can. Julia instantly looks just as over Nancy’s bullshit as Sam feels. She decides sitting next to Julia really was the best choice.

“And that’s number seven for Nancy…” Principal Coburn’s voice breaks into their silent communication. 

“Seven?” Julia hisses, looking shocked. Sam is just as perturbed by this and is starting to lose her patience. 

Coburn writes something else down, presumably Nancy’s name again, on her clipboard, “What about cookies?”

Before Sam can think about it, her hand shoots up, somehow even faster than Nancy’s.

“Na- Sam?” Coburn’s eyebrows shoot up as she looks back at the group to find Sam volunteering.

“Sam?” A few voices echo. She has to resist the urge to shoot them all a glare and instead clenches her jaw, forcing a tight lipped smile.

“Yes.”

“You want to bring the cookies?”

“Of course. I’m more than happy to do it.”

“But - But you’re so busy. With work how will you-”

Sam forces another smile, this time she’s sure it looks petty. “I’ll find the time.”

Nancy doesn’t bother concealing her glare as she huffs and crosses her arms, petulantly turning her gaze back into Coburn as she crosses out Nancy’s name and puts in Sam’s.

“That was badass,” Julia murmurs beside her, forcing Sam to hide her genuine smile and how good it feels to one up Nancy at something.

“So, was it worth three months worth of nightmares?” Alex asks, when the credits start to roll over the final shot. She remembers how long those months had been back when she was a teenager and Kara had watched the movie for the first time.

“Uh, duh!” Ruby answers. “That was amazing.”

Alex laughs. “Glad you like it, but remember our deal,” she points at Ruby, “Any nightmares and you tell your mom it was your idea.”

Ruby grins, “No nightmares here! But if I did have one… Then I’d totally rat you out-”

Alex leans over to shove slightly at Ruby. 

“I’m kidding!” She giggles.

“You better be, or I’d have to tickle you.”

Ruby pales. “You wouldn’t.”

Alex really wouldn’t. She’s never been very good at tickling. It was always something Kara had done to her as teens, but still, she knows the threat is effective due to her experience of using them on Winn.

“I won’t rat you out, Alex, I promise. We’re a team!” Ruby says, scooting closer to wrap her arm over Alex’s shoulder. Whether she means it or she’s just trying to escape torture, Alex isn’t sure, but she’ll take the hug anyway.

“I’m glad you liked the movie, kid.”

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the front door.

“That’s probably my mom,” Ruby predicts.

The knock happens again. “Hey, it’s Sam!”

Alex lifts her hands in mock amazement, “Wow, good call,” She compliments Ruby, before looking back towards the door. “Come on in!”

Sam enters with a huge smile and before she knows it Alex can feel her own face mirroring it. “Hey, she’s alive!”

Sam sets her bag on the floor, pulling Ruby in for a hug. “How’d this time go?”

“A total disaster. I mean, what a nightmare of a kid you’ve raised,” Alex says, feeling comfortable enough to be sarcastic about it now after all of the times Sam has asked her the same question.

“Oh I know, she’s rough, right?” Sam responds exaggeratedly, running a hand through Ruby’s hair as she says it. Then, as if the action reminds her of something, she’s looking back up, her gaze flicking over Alex. “How’s the hair treating you?” 

“Oh,” Alex’s hand shoots up to scratch where it’s shortest at the nape of her neck. For some reason, her cheeks burn. “It’s actually been really great.”

Sam grins. “I told you.”

Alex nods, “Yeah, yeah… You did.”

“It’s cute. Let me know if you want me to trim it.”

“Of course,” Alex follows them towards the door, opening it for them. As they step out into the hallway she asks, “So, what are you guys doing with the rest of your night?”

“We’re making a quick run to the store. We gotta pick up some food for the week.” She shrugs, glowing with easy contentment. Ruby next to her looks excited with this prospect, unlike every other preteen Alex has ever met. 

Alex wonders what that’s like. To be excited to go to the store just because you’re with someone else. Even the times she’s gone to the store with Kara she’s been grumpy about it.

Alex nods. “You’re doing better than me then, my fridge is practically empty. I’m long overdue for a trip to the store.”

Sam thinks about this for a moment. “That can’t possibly be good for you.”

Alex shrugs. 

“Since you need food and we’re already going.... Do you want to go together? Save the gas?”

Ruby looks even more thrilled at this idea, her eyes lighting up with excitement as she looks expectantly up at Alex. 

“Smart idea.”

Now it’s Sam’s turn to shrug. “I try my best,” She says, with a slightly smug smile.

“Um,” Alex glances at Ruby one more time then back at Sam. The idea doesn’t seem so bad after all. It makes going to the store sound less dreadful. “Yeah, I guess we can do that. Just let me get my keys.”

“YES!” Ruby shouts from the hallway as Alex steps back inside to grab her things.

The grocery store is busy. With the time hitting just after six as they arrive, everyone who’s just gotten off work and needs to do some shopping is there.

Alex doesn’t really mind the crowds though, for some reason, this grocery trip really isn’t so bad. Despite the normally monotonous activity that she would normally avoid, Alex enjoys herself. Sam, somehow, finds a way to make it fun

She’s been sending Ruby off on her own quests to grab specific items the entire time they’ve been there, and Alex is starting to find it amusing how fast Ruby is trying to get all of the items off the small lists Sam keeps giving her.

With the way Sam is smiling and glancing back over at her as Ruby dashes away, Alex is starting to think this isn’t how her daughter normally does it, and that it's more Ruby showing off than anything else. Nevertheless, Alex thinks it’s cute and obviously, if the fond little smile on Sam’s face is any indication, she does too.

Alex has long since gotten what she needs, the chips and the wine for game night, and now she’s just waiting on Sam and Ruby to be done, but she doesn’t mind. It’s nice to see Sam doing something that isn’t directly work or overly parent related.

“I heard about where you went tonight,” Alex says, leaning against the handle of the cart as she pushes it alongside Sam, watching as she looks back and forth between the list on her phone and the shelves. “Glad to see you survived.”

“Ruby told you, huh?”

“Yep.”

“Snitch,” Sam laughs. “I would’ve told you, but I didn’t think you’d want me going off onto another rant about how awful other moms can be.”

“I don’t mind,” Alex smiles, leaning her cheek against her hand. “Rant all you want.”

“I won’t get too into the details, but I will say that I did make a friend.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Oh? You like one of the PTA moms? How uncharacteristic of you.”

“She isn’t a mom.”

“That explains it then.”

Sam rolls her eyes, but looks back at Alex with fond eyes, “She’s an aunt, somehow got dragged into it by her sister, but that’s fine because it’s nice to maybe have friend that I don’t work with.”

Alex grins. “How is Lena doing, by the way?”

“Lena’s off the grid,” Sam laughs. “But she’s probably just engulfed in work. I just texted our secretary-”

“You share a secretary?”

“Jess is very good at her job,” Sam supplies, simply. “And she says she’ll try and snap Lena out of it.”

“Should I be concerned? Looking out for a missing persons report on a Jess the Secretary?”

Sam laughs, loud and uncontrolled, in the middle of the aisle. An elderly couple on the other end give them a harsh look. 

“Sorry,” Sam quickly says, before turning back to Alex and shaking her head. “Trust me, if you should be worried about anybody it’s Lena. Jess can be… Persuasive.”

They stare at each other for a moment before Alex stops, straightening up to look Sam in the eye better. “What does that mean?”

“Well, she’s not exactly intimidating… But she’s good at getting things done. She’s honestly probably one of the only reasons Lena is even still alive. I mean, I’m a workaholic, but Lena… Well, let’s just say she’s a more severe case than I am.”

“Then it’s good she brought you in to take on some of her workload, right? The first step to recovery is admitting your problem and all that?”

Sam gives her a quizzical look. “Did you just quote the twelve step program at me?”

“Step two is accepting God,” Alex deadpans.

“Lena is nowhere close to doing that.”

Alex snorts, prompting another dirty look from the couple. She glances over to look at them before bringing her eyes back to Sam. “Do you think we should move before they decide to form an angry mob and chase us away?”

“Wherever will they find the pitchforks?” Sam chuckles again, but starts to walk, leading Alex into a different aisle. There’s another woman at the end of this one, but she seems decidedly less aggressive. 

Alex leans against the cart by her elbows, watching as Sam searches for what she’s looking for. Leaning back to look at everything fully, she catches her lip between her teeth in concentration before squatting to look lower.

Alex must drift off, because all of the sudden Ruby is at her side and she jumps in surprise. She clears her throat, “Hey, Rubes.”

“Hey! I’ve got the stuff!” Then a stack of things is being dumped into the cart, among them a box of waffles and what Alex thinks might be Lucky Charms. 

“Do you just eat the marshmallows out of those or do you eat the other stuff too?”

“You sound like my mom.”

Sam laughs and they both look over at her, not realizing she’d been listening to them. “She makes a good one.”

“Learning from the best,” Alex responds.

Sam blushes, but rolls her eyes, “You flatter me, really.” She places whatever it was she’d just been trying to find into the cart along with all of Ruby’s junk food. Then she rattles off another list to Ruby, which prompts a salute before she’s off again. 

They both watch her go and Alex nudges Sam. “You really are doing a good job. She’s a great kid.”

“So you’ve said,” Sam murmurs, nudging back. 

Alex starts to respond when a third voice cuts in.

“You two are so cute.”

Sam and Alex glance over at the same time, finding the woman across from them looking back.

“Huh?” Alex asks, confusion twisting her features.

“You make a really good family, is all.”

Sam straightens up, shifting on her feet as her eyes narrow, first staring for a long moment at the woman before directing her gaze back at Alex as if to ask ‘do you know what she’s talking about?’

Alex shrugs as a response, because she really has no idea.

“How long have you two been together?” The implications don't even have time to set in before the woman is continuing with, “Are you married?”

Shock radiates through Alex, shaking her deep. It’s a confusing rush of feelings for her. The reminder of marriage stirs up things she’d rather not think about, but her mistakenly being perceived as actually being one of Ruby’s parents brings a mix of pride and happiness. Then there’s the issue of Sam.

She glances over and finds the woman in question with wide eyes, blinking rapidly. Alex assumes she probably doesn’t look much different. She clears her throat, hoping to bring Sam back to reality. 

It works because Sam starts to laugh. “No. No we’re… Not-”

Alex joins in. “Yeah, we-” 

“Oh! I’m so sorry.” The woman seems just as lost for words as they are. “You just… You two seem so-”

“Um. No, sorry to disappoint.” Sam says, having seemingly recovered if the amusement in her voice is anything to go by. “We’re just close friends.”

“For how long?”

Alex doesn’t know why this conversation is still happening, something about it has her stomach feeling weird and she’d rather just be past it already.

“We’ve known each other, what? Four months?” Sam looks to Alex for an answer. 

“Uh… yeah. That sounds right.”

“Wow. You two are very comfortable with each other then. You seem like you’ve known each other for years.” There’s still something that sounds oddly knowing in the woman’s voice, and it makes Alex feel off balance.

Sam smiles. “Alex is easy to get along with.”

Alex forces herself to make some sort of expression that isn’t confusion and she hopes passes at least remotely as happiness.

“Well, your daughter is very cute.”

Sam grins, “Thank you.”

“I’ll let you two go. I’m sorry for the confusion,” the woman leaves them with a final look their way, and Alex thinks she doesn’t seem very sorry.

“So…” Alex starts as Sam begins placing her items on the conveyor belt, “What’s up with all the baking supplies?”

Sam glances up long enough to give Alex a look. “Ruby has a Christmas recital coming up, and I’ve been placed on cookie duty.”

“The other moms turning on you? Forcing you to do all the cooking?”

“Actually… I volunteered.”

“Wow. How big of you.”

Sam laughs. “Yes, well… I like doing things to help Ruby… And I don’t really mind baking, although it does take up a lot of time.”

“I could help you,” Alex says without thinking.

Sam tilts her head, smug look forming on her face. “I thought you said you were awful at baking.”

“Oh,” Alex rubs a hand against the back of her neck sheepishly. “Well, I am… But I figure I could at least try to help.”

Sam raises her eyebrows, nodding slightly as she stares at Alex. “That sounds good. Come over on Saturday morning? You don’t have work that day, right?”

“Uh… No, I don’t.”

“Good,” Sam smiles. “Sounds like fun.”

“It’s called denial, Sam,” Lena sing songs after Sam’s recounted the grocery store incident to her, laughing the entire time.

“For the thousandth time, I don’t like Alex,” Sam counters, pouring them both a glass of wine.

“All I’m saying,” Lena says, lounging back in Sam’s desk chair, “Is that she’s very attractive and I think that you’ve noticed.” 

“And? I’m not allowed to have good looking friends?” Sam hands one of the drinks over to Lena. She takes a sip, keeping her eyes fixed on Sam in a way she can only describe as knowing.

No, you are, obviously,” Lena motions to herself, prompting what must be Sam’s tenth eye roll in the past half hour, “You just aren’t allowed to appreciate it as much as you do with her.”

Sam shakes her head, wondering when exactly Lena’s going to let this whole thing go. The frequency of the jokes has died down a lot from when she and Alex had first become friends, but Lena still remembers to bring it up whenever she hears Alex’s name. “I was telling you the story because it’s ridiculous. Not because I wanted you to use it to act like we’re meant to be.”

Lena sighs, and shakes her head. “What’s ridiculous is how oblivious you are.”

“Lena, I’m not-”

“Yes, and she just volunteered to come over and do something sickeningly domestic with you because you’re friends.”

Sam puts her hands on her hips and sighs, shaking her head before wandering over to the couch and dropping down on it.

“Look,” Lena says, getting up from the desk, “Normally I wouldn't push, but I think you need someone to knock some sense into you.”

Sam looks up at her as she approaches, hoping the look she’s giving her will be enough to stop the conversation. Of course, because it’s Lena, it’s not.

“Sam. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met, you deserve to have someone sweep you off your feet.”

“I don’t have time for a love life.”

“Yes, you do. Actually, I think a love life would help you. You’d have someone to come home to and someone to help with Ruby… Not to mention you’d be more relaxed with someone to-”

“Okay! I get the idea,” Sam cuts her off. 

Lena sighs, staring at her friend. Slowly, she crosses the space between them, sitting down beside her gently on the couch. “You take on so much by yourself. I think it would be good for someone to take care of you for once.”

Sam takes a deep breath. “I know,” she says, and she does. She’s known for a long time that she could use the help, that deep down, she’s lonely. 

“It’s been twelve years… You never had a steady relationship before that either, Sam. All these failed dates and chances you’ve given up on… I think you’re just scared of finding someone who might genuinely want to spend the rest of their life with you.”

“You’re still here.”

Lena gives her a look. “Keep saying things like that and I’ll think you’re in love with me.”

Sam rolls her eyes and turns to look at her more fully. “I’m just saying, you’re my best friend.”

“You know… Calling me your friend when we’ve slept together just makes my points about Alex stronger-”

Sam shoves her a little, prompting another laugh. 

“It’s true!”

Sam shakes her head. 

“Look, Sam…” Lena places her hand over Sam’s, “You’re my best friend too… I just want the best for you.”

“I know you do.”

Lena takes a deep breath, and then smiles at her with watery eyes. “I want you to be happy. Promise me you’ll try to get back out there, yeah?”

Sam can’t say no to her, not when she’s being so earnest. Not when she’s so close to tears. “Yeah… I will, Lena. I’ll try.”

“Okay, that’s good,” Lena nods, wiping her own eyes. 

“But… I’m not looking for anything serious. Ruby and the company come first.”

“Of course. Just go on a few dates and I can pretend I’ve done my duty as a friend… Plus, you never know, you might find someone serious when you least expect it.”

Sam rolls her eyes again, “Yeah, maybe.”

Lena nods and squeezes her hand, “I’ll be glad to see you trying, even if it’s not with Alex.”

Sam laughs and leans into her.

The baking somehow manages to go even worse than expected.

Sam measures all the ingredients out and hands them off to Alex who stirs each of them into the batters, triple checking it's the correct bowl before pouring anything in. So the mixing portion of it goes over smoothly, much better than if Alex had done it alone, as she always has a tendency to use too much flour or one too many eggs or something.

The problem starts when it gets to the actual baking portion. The oven shouldn't be the problem. It's easy enough to just check it every few minutes. Alex has never had a problem with checking the oven. In fact, it’s one of the few things about baking she actually can manage. 

Despite that, somehow, they get distracted.

The second the sheet with the cookies goes into the oven, they’re wandering into the living room, conversation flowing between them as they switch into a more relaxed state.

Alex is in the middle of talking when her eyes catch on something in the corner of the room. “You have a record player?”

“Lena got it for me as a late birthday present a few years after we met.”

“Late?” Alex asks, walking over to get a better look at it.

“Well… Three years into the friendship she realized we’d never celebrated my birthday… That I’d never even told her my birthday… And when she demanded that we do something I told her it didn't have to be a big fuss. After she insisted, I told her that she knows me well enough to get me something that I can actually use… So,” Sam gestures towards the tiny table. 

Alex looks back at the player and the stand, records stacked up in the shelf beneath the table top. She squats down to take a look at what albums Sam has.

“I told her it was too much, too expensive-”

“But Lena wouldn't hear it?”

Same laughs. “How did you-”

“You talk enough about her as your friend and complain about her as your boss that I think I've gathered a fair grasp of her spending habits.”

Alex hears Sam set her wineglass down on the coffee table behind her, followed by the shift of feet, indicating Sam’s movement back towards the kitchen.

“Don't judge me,” Alex can hear Sam’s smile, knows the exact way her lips are curling as she says it, “That's the good portion of my music taste.”

Alex glances back at her. “What's the bad half?”

Sam looks sheepish. “Late 90s, early 2000s pop, usually sung by women, or something cheesy and acoustic… Occasionally One Direction, but that's more circumstantial than anything else.”

Alex isn't quite sure she believes the last detail, but the summary leaves her smiling as she returns her focus back to the albums in her hands.

“Honestly, I don't know most of these.”

“That’s probably because they’re all old.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Alex murmurs, flipping them gingerly in her hands, careful not to damage the flaking covers.

“My mom… She used to play stuff like this around the house on days where there was nothing to do.”

Alex pauses. She’s never heard Sam talk about her mom before.

Sam must notice her hesitation, because she starts talking again. “They don’t really remind me of her, but… More of the house and being a kid… And warm summer days. Others remind me of Ruby and I’s first apartment. I bought some CDs at a thrift store right after I got my first apartment, a lot of them were same albums my mom had. I guess it just kind of grew from there.”

Alex stares at her for a few moments. Watches Sam’s slight movements, how she’s leaned back against the wall to the kitchen, her arms crossed as she stares down at Alex, looking calm and amused. Suddenly, Alex gets an idea. 

“Do you mind if I-” She points to the record player, raising her brows in question.

“Oh, uh,” Sam blinks, but smiles, like she hadn’t quite been expecting this. “Sure, yeah, if you want.”

“Any recommendations?”

“Um… Yeah, actually,” Sam says, squatting down beside her to flick through the records, “This one.”

Alex runs her hand over the faded cover. “The Foundations,” She reads aloud, “Why this one?”

Sam smiles, “It’s one of my favorites.”

Alex hands it back to her, “Best song?”

“All of them, but-” She stands, carefully removing the sleeve, “This one,” She murmurs, carefully setting the record into the player and then placing the needle on top, perfectly into the grooves, like she’s started this record at this song before, “Is especially good.”

The first few sounds to come bumping out of the speakers is a muted drum, accompanied by what sounds like a bongo and then the sound kicks in with piano, followed by trumpets. It’s a combination that can only be described as lively. 

“Why do you build me up, Buttercup, baby,” The singer starts, tying the cheerful energy of the song up in the bright, sweet language. “Just to let me down and mess me around.”

Of course this is what Sam likes to listen to.

Alex can’t help but smile at it.

Then, beside her, Sam starts to move, voice picking up with the next lyric, effortlessly singing along. “And then worst of all you never call, baby,” Sam’s voice doesn’t overpower the sound of the record player, but Alex can still catch pieces of it, how despite the fact that the singing seems to be more of a joke to her, she’s actually good at it.

Sam gets to the center of her living room, her slight sway turning into full dancing. She’s not great and she’s not awful, but it’s cute and she’s smiling. Smiling like Alex isn’t quite sure she’s ever seen her smile; like she’s completely unbothered.

Alex doesn’t even realize she’s staring until Sam is suddenly back up close to her again, hands wrapping around her own to pull her in to dance along with her.

“When you say you will but I love you still.”

Alex has no idea what to do. She has cordiatation, sure, but years of fight training at the police academy isn’t the same as dancing. Lucky for her, Sam must sense her struggle.

“Follow my lead,” She says.

“I need you more than anyone, darlin', You know that I have from the start. So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart.”

The hands in Alex’s start to move, leading her arms, pushing one back as she pulls the other forward. 

“‘I'll be over at ten’, you told me time and again, but you're late. I wait around and then I went to the door, I can't take any more, it's not you, you let me down again.”

As Alex starts to get used to the movement, Sam adds in a step that brings their bodies closer together each time they alternate arms. Alex has to focus on her feet, but she finds she’s not really that concerned with getting the steps perfect, just not falling and hopefully keeping Sam smiling like that.

“Baby, baby, try to find, a little time and I'll make you happy.”

Then, Sam must decide that they need to switch it up, because then she’s letting go of one of Alex’s hands before twirling herself under Alex’s arm with ease, ducking to acomodate their height difference. “You try!”

“I'll be home, I'll be beside the phone waiting for you.”

Alex does and she ends up with her back against Sam’s front before she’s spinning her out to an arm’s distance.

“Why do you build me up Buttercup, baby, just to let me down and mess me around,” Sam sings, practically yelling the words. This time Alex can hear her voice more clearly, the lightness of it, the slight rasp lingering at the edges. “And then worst of all you never call, baby, when you say you will. But I love you still,” Sam pulls her in again.

This time, Alex initiates the spin out, easily picking up Sam’s own movements to repeat what her friend had just done to her. 

As the second chorus continues, Alex and Sam nearly stumble a few times, laughing too hard at one another to really keep their balance. 

The singer’s intensity grows over another verse and towards the end, Sam matches it, shouting, “I'm attracted to you all the more, why do I need you so?” into the air, before tugging Alex to face her just in time for the last chorus.

“Why do you build me up Buttercup, baby, just to let me down and mess me around.”

Alex makes her best attempt to join in with Sam’s joyous rendition of the words. Alex isn’t a bad singer, but she barely knows the words, actually, really only knows the main part of the chorus with a shaky memory of the first two, so her singing is a lot more unsure than Sam’s, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

“And then worst of all you never call, baby, when you say you will but I love you still.”

Then, Sam’s hands are lacing through hers again before she’s guiding Alex to jump alongside her. Now they’re really bumping into each other, but Alex feels free. Almost like she’s a kid again.

It makes her yell a little louder, fear of messing up the words flying out the window.

“I need you more than anyone, darlin', you know that I have from the start. So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart.”

Alex flops back onto the couch as the song fades out, her cheeks hurting with the force of her grin.

Sam seems to be in a similar boat, hand on her stomach, as though she’s gotten a stitch from the laughter. As she calms down she puts her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath. Her smile never leaves her face.

The silence stretches on for a few more moments, interrupted only by their quiet hums of residual laughter and the next song on the album kicking up.

Then Sam’s face changes to something slightly confused. “Alex?” She questions, staring down at her.

Alex forces herself to bring her attention back to the moment at hand. “Yeah?” 

“Do you smell that?” 

Alex lifts her head, stilling for a moment to process her surroundings.

“Is that- Shit,” She curses to herself.

Then Sam is separating from her and rushing into the kitchen.

Alex follows after and gets there just in time to see Sam pulling the cookie sheet out of the oven, waving at the beginnings of a smoke cloud. They’re not nearly as bad as they could be, thankfully, but Alex rushes forward to help her fan them anyway.

Then Sam collects her oven mitts from the counter and from the inside of the oven produces the remnants of their labor.

The tray gets placed on the stove top for their observation.

The two stare down at the scalded sheet of cookies.

“Wow,” Sam says, tossing her gloves back down and crossing her arms. “I’m normally good at watching things while they bake. I haven’t burned anything in years.”

Alex can hear that, even now, the woman next to her is still smiling.

“I guess you make a pretty good distraction.” 

When Alex turns to look at Sam, her meets her eyes and the two burst into laughter.

Then Sam bumps Alex’s hip with her own, “Come on, we’ll start another batch.”

She moves away to reassemble their supplies while Alex shakes off the burn in her cheeks.  

The record is still playing in the living room, the sound of the next song radiating throughout the house, making her feel warm, at home. 

“Any old time baby that you're feelin' down just you hold tight baby, I'll be around. I won't break your heart or even try to take your heart, if you're feelin bad, any old time you're lonely and sad.”

Alex thinks she gets why Sam likes the music she does.

She wonders if maybe she should try to listen to some more albums, so Sam can talk about it more, and get that excited look in her eyes again. 

She starts to make a mental note to take some pictures of the other albums Sam has for future reference when her thoughts are interrupted. A sudden white cloud appears around her, clouding her vision. She coughs, fanning it away. For a moment, she's completely lost as to what’s just happened, but then she glances down at her arms and finds them caked evenly with flour. She glances over to find Sam with a hand, also covered in flour, over her mouth, barely holding back her amusement.

“You’ve got…” Sam makes a motion towards the spot below her nose, voice shaking a little with humor. 

Alex shakes her head, powder shaking loose from her hair as she repeats the motion Sam had made, attempting to wipe the ingredient from her face.

“Wow Alex, I didn't know you could be a cop with a drug problem.”

Alex processes the reference and rolls her eyes. “Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

Sam laughs, pinching more flour up off the table to toss it Alex’s way.

Alex stares at her for a moment, maintaining eye contact while her hand sneakily closes around an egg. She then cracks it quickly against Sam’s forehead.

“Oops?”

“Oh, now you asked for it,” Sam retorts before picking up a stick of butter and pressing it into Alex’s cheek.

Then it’s a free for all, and Sam is definitely going to need to make another store run.

Later, when Alex leaves the apartment, she’s still covered in what should be cookies and a smile that is apparent in every atom of her being.

The next few days roll by quickly.

Before Sam knows it, she’s standing in her office on the night of the holiday pageant, doing her best to urge Lena to stop for once so they can get there early.

Once Lena does put a pause on her work, she has to touch up her makeup, pull on her shoes, make sure she has everything in her purse. Sam knows Lena is purposely dragging the process out to torture her, because  she usually does this in half the time.

“Come on, Lena, we have to go.” She’s normally very patient, but now, it’s wearing thin and she’s waiting by the front door of their shared office, prepared to leave her friend behind.

“What’s the rush?” Lena asks, finally pulling on her second heel before standing, innocent smile on her face as she approaches Sam. “The recital doesn’t start for another hour.”

“Exactly,” Sam responds, pushing back against the door and stepping out, still sure to hold the door open for Lena, despite the grievance. 

“I understand wanting to get good seats but-”

“We’re meeting someone there and I don’t want them to wait,” Sam cuts her off and starts walking again, getting a head start.

Lena raises a brow as she follows her. “I thought Jack was out of town…”

Sam sighs as she steps into the elevator. “He is.”

“And…” Lena smirks, already knowing exactly where this is going.

“We’re meeting Alex-”

“Oh, of course we are-”

“- and her sister there.”

“Could you two be any more married-”

“I thought we agreed to let this go-”

“Wait. Her sister is coming?” Lena’s smile grows at the prospect.

“Can you please behave,” Sam rolls her eyes as the elevator sides open. When she steps out, she leaves Lena slightly behind due to their high difference. 

“I’m just saying-”

“Lena-”

“It’s a little odd to invite a friend to your daughter’s school event-”

“You’re my friend and you’re going?”

“Yes, but I’m Ruby’s godmother.”

“Ruby wanted Alex to be there,” Sam reasons, pushing the front door open, walking out into the cold to meet their driver out front. 

“That says something too, doesn’t it?”

Sam sighs again, running a hand through her hair before turning to face her friend. “Again, there’s nothing going on between Alex and I.”

Lena is still smiling as she says, “You’re fun to tease.” Then she passes Sam by and gets into the car waiting for them.

Sam stands in her spot a moment longer, freezing air nipping at her skin as she tries not to overthink how that response doesn’t mean that Lena believes her.

Alex feels a little weird just walking into the school without knowing anyone, so instead, she makes Kara wait with her outside. There are a few parents and grandparents slowly making their way into the building behind them.

They’re here far too early, Alex knows, but she doesn’t want to miss this. Not when it’s Ruby’s thing. She wants to be there for her.

Kara doesn’t seem bothered by it though. She’s talking excitedly about the fact that it’s transitioned into winter and all the things that come with that, even delving into some of their memories from holidays as a kid. 

Alex just smiles to herself, hands shoved in her pockets, taking in Kara’s ramblings as the sun begins to set, despite the early hour.

There’s a chill in the air, it feels like it might rain, or even snow.

Finally, a black car pulls up to the curb just a few feet away. Alex focuses on it right as one of the back set of doors both open. Distantly, Alex registers Lena’s presence on the other side of the vehicle, but her focus remains on Sam.

She steps out of the car, just one foot first, heel steady of the ground, before the rest of her body appears, hair whipping around her face slightly in the wind. She runs a hand through it, trying to tame it, keep it from her eyes. Then she’s reaching back into the car and pulling out two tupperware containers.

“Lena, will you grab the other- Thank you.”

Then Sam is leaning back down to look back inside the car, Alex hears something like, “Thank you, Hector. We’ll be done around nine,” before she’s shutting the door and turning to look at Alex and Kara.

A smile finds her lips as she approaches, Lena close behind. 

The second Lena is by Sam’s side again, just seconds before they’ll be face to face with Alex and Kara, she breathes, “Her hair…” 

Sam scowls slightly, trying not to acknowledge her friends antics any more than she has to.

“I wouldn’t mind if she used her cuffs on me-”

Apparently Sam does have to. “Lena. Behave,” She reminds. 

Kara’s been standing sort of behind Alex, just due to the way they’d been standing before they car had pulled up, but then she moves to greet them, standing instead next to her sister.

“Wow,” Sam hears Lena say and normally she’d roll her eyes, but there’s a change in Lena’s tone from just seconds earlier, one that’s more sincere, that she recognizes back from when Lena’d been dating Veronica.

“Alex, hi,” Sam greets, immediately placing her hands on Alex’s shoulders to pull her in for a hug. She presses herself close, lets Alex’s presence calm her erratic heartbeat, instantly feeling less worried about the event ahead. “Alex, you remember Lena.”

“How could I forget,” She responds with a laugh. Sam smiles at it, loves how Alex has already grown accustomed to her best friend, despite their previous encounters being somewhat awkward.

“Hello, Alex,” Lena says properly, eyes still fixed where Kara stands. To Sam’s surprise, Kara herself seems to be blushing slightly.

She flicks her eyes back and forth between them a few times before glancing back at Alex, who seems to be noticing the same phenomenon.

Sam clears her throat, “Lena, this is Alex’s sister, Kara.”

“Hi,” Kara thrusts her hand out excitedly, adjusting her glasses against the bridge of her nose. “I’m the sister… uh, Kara, I mean.”

“Lena,” She introduces, shaking Kara’s hand gently. It’s… Shyer than Sam may have expected.

Sam finds the intimacy of the moment jarring, how Lena has been rendered a form of speechless. 

She clears her throat. As much as she wants Lena to be happy, it feels weird to experience with Alex right next to her.

“Uh,” Alex starts, also bringing attention back to the moment, “Where’s Ruby?”

“I brought her around earlier. She had to get ready and for a pre rehearsal.”

“Oh!” Alex remarks, “So we can just… Go to our seats?”

“Yes, but I do still have to drop these cookies off to the parents in charge of the food.”

“Oh! If you want I can carry some for you?” Alex volunteers, already reaching for the second box in Sam’s hands. 

“That would be-”

“How kind of you Alex,” Lena remarks, putting the tupperware she had been carrying on top of the one Alex has just grabbed. “While you two do that Kara and I can go save seats, won’t we Kara?”

Sam feels a surge of annoyance as her friend shoots her a look right before looping her arm through Kara’s and guiding her away. There’s the Lena she knows, but even then, as they walk away, Sam can see the difference in Lena’s body language, the slightly nervous waving of her free hand, how she’s leaned in close to talk quietly to the younger Danvers.

“Sorry about that,” Sam murmurs, but there’s something like hope for Lena building in her chest. As much as Lena wants her to get back out there, Sam wants just the same if not more for her.

Alex doesn’t seem to mind though, actually seems amused my it.

They make their way into the auditorium lobby where a group of parents have already begun setting up. All Sam has to do is drop her stuff off and they’ll set it up so she can be on her way before-

Nancy rounds the corner and when her eyes catch on Sam they narrow. “You’re late.”

“The show hasn’t started yet has it?” Sam responds. Next to her, Alex barely holds back a snort.

Nancy scowls before grabbing one of the containers of cookies out of Sam’s hands. Sam stiffens, knowing whatever Nancy ends up saying now is what everyone else will believe, good or not. “These better be edible because I will not allow this event to be a disaster-” Just as Nancy is popping the lid off, Julia appears on the opposite side of the table. 

She and Sam make eye contact and there’s an intense moment of relief that follows as Julia is lunging forward and one of the cookies into her mouth before Nancy can. She chews for just a moment before her eyes widen. She hums her approval. “These are amazing, Sam. Guys,” She waves over a few of the other moms, “You’ve got to try these.” She winks at Sam as the other women go to grab them.

“Wow! Sam where did you learn to make these?” Another mom asks.

“Oh it’s nothing,” Sam looks over her shoulder at Alex, “Special recipe.”

“You’ve got a gift. You should try making some for the next bakesale! I think they’d be a hit!” 

Sam nods and smiles, pride welling in her chest as Nancy’s frown deepens. For once she’s won.

“Well, if you are all done slacking,” Nancy hisses, shoving the container into someone else’s hands, “Then maybe you should finish setting up!” Then she turns on her heel and storms off, heels clicking loud on the linoleum.

After a moment of tense awkward silence, the group of mom’s begins to disperse, going back to their jobs.

“Jeez,” Julia mumbles, “She needs to learn to unclench.”

“No kidding.”

This time Alex doesn’t stop herself from laughing.

“They actually are really good cookies,” Julia compliments.

“Yeah, well… I had a pretty good assistant,” Sam grins, turning her gaze over at Alex, who rolls her eyes.

“I was awful, but still Sam managed to make the best of a bad situation.”

“You’re a great situation,” Sam compliments, once again bumping her hip into Alex’s side. Alex turns her gaze down to the ground, fighting a smile.

Julia’s gaze flicks between the two of them. Finally, she clears her throat. “Well, either way. You two did a great job.”

“Oh! Alex, this is my friend Julia, the one I was telling you about at the store.”

“Ah,” Alex nods, holding out her hand in greeting.
“Julia, this is my good friend Alex.”

There’s a pause, Julia stares just a moment too long before shaking her hand, “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

Then the lights flash throughout the foyer, signaling the show is going to start soon. 

Sam grabs Alex’s hand. “Well, we better get going, we have to find our friends.”

“Yeah, of course,” Julia nods, smiling now. “I’ll talk to you later Sam.”

Alex says another quick, “Nice meeting you,” Before allowing Sam to drag her into the auditorium. 

Pretty close to the front, the two of them spot Lena waving them over, Kara is just a bit behind her, waiting for the other two. When Sam and Alex get there, Lena immediately begins moving them to sit down, ushering Sam in first and following behind. Alex starts to object, but then Kara sits down beside Lena and looks up at her, like she wants to sit next to Alex too. Without a word, Alex takes her seat, not wanting to force anyone to move at this point.

Sam leans forward to look over their friends at Alex, she shrugs slightly, as if this hadn’t been her plan for a sitting arrangement either.

Then the house lights are dimming and Principal Coburn is taking the stage to introduce the show, so Sam sits back, immediately wanting to take in the whole ordeal.

There are a few dance numbers and shaky songs by groups and different grades, all different famous holiday songs. All the kids seem to be having a good time, so it makes all of the performances better than they really are. Alex can’t help but glance at SAm a few times over Kara and Lena, wanting to gage her reactions along the way. She never stops smiling, which makes the same true for Alex as well.

Then, finally, it’s Ruby’s solo.

Sam immediately pulls out her phone, wanting to catch every moment of it on film.

Ruby’s voice is beautiful and she seems perfectly calm, even in front of an audience. 

Sam is clearly so proud, tears brimming in her eyes as her daughter perfectly executes her performance. Alex realizes that she’d also been close to tears when Ruby had finished, taking a bow before exiting of stage. 

Directly following that is the finale, which the four of them sit through antsily, all wanting to get to Ruby as quickly as possible to congratulate her.

The second the house lights come up all four of them are on their feet, trying to make their way into the foyer to meet Ruby. They make their way through the crowd quickly and once they get there all of their eyes are roaming rapidly, trying to find her.

“MOM!” Her voice echoes through the crowd.

Sam spins around just in time to scoop her up into her arms.

“Sweetie, that was amazing,” Sam praises, hugging her daughter tight. “I knew you could do it.”

“And you were so calm too, that takes serious guts,” Alex says, placing her hand on Ruby’s shoulder. 

“Alex!” Ruby says, separating from Sam to hug her second.

“You were great, Ruby.”

She hugs Alex tighter. 

“When you’re famous in ten years I better be invited to all the after parties,” Alex jokes, making Sam laugh.

“But not before your aunt Lena, right?” Lena questions, appearing at their side.

“Of course not,” She laughs, moving forward to hug Lena too.

The five of them walk out together, hands shoved into their pockets as the cold night air swirls around them. They’re preparing to say goodbye for the night, as both Alex and Sam have to drop Kara and Lena off respectively at their own homes.

They’ve already congratulated Ruby as many times as possible before they’d surely prompt teenage annoyance and they’ve all hugged each other goodbye, so now it’s just a matter of driving off.

Which is why it surprises Alex when Kara is whipping around and shouting, “Do you want to come to our Christmas party?” across the parking lot. “It’s on Christmas Eve,” She explains, “And I know that can be kinda hard to make but you’re all welcome and you can invite whoever-”

Alex can tell she just really wants Lena to go. She puts her hand on her sisters arm, attempting to calm her down.

Ruby gasps. “Mom, can we?”

Sam stops, thinking about it for a moment. “I don’t have anything going on.”

“Neither do I,” Lena says, smiling ear to ear.

“And Jack is still going to be out of town on Christmas Eve…”

“We’ll be there!” Lena decides, for all of them.

“WHOOP!” Ruby shouts, swinging herself into the car.

Sam rolls her eyes. “You might regret inviting her after a few glasses of wine,” she laughs, pointing over at her friend before moving to get into the car herself.

“Alright! See you then!” Kara shouts back excitedly.

Alex watches as Lena stays out of the car a few more moments, staring at Kara before finally departing with a soft little wave. 

They watch them go for a moment, before finally Alex hits the roof, signalling for her sister to get in.

“Hey, Alex?” Kara starts when Alex shuts her car door.

“Yeah?” Alex glances up from buckling her seatbelt.

“I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?”

“I invited Sam and Lena to the party without asking you-”

“Kara-”

“- It’s just, Lena is really nice and pretty-” 

“Kara-”

“- And you and Sam are so close-”

“Kara!”

Her sister finally stops, wide eyes turning back to look at her.

Alex laughs, “I think it’s great?”

“Oh… I just thought…” Kara trails off.

“What?”

“It’s just… It’s your first Christmas without Maggie. I thought maybe you might not want people you haven’t known very long to be there.”

“Oh,” Alex smiles at her sister’s consideration, “Honestly, Kara? I hadn’t even thought about that.”

Kara stares at her for a moment. “Really?”

Alex shrugs. 

“That’s great, Alex,” She says, but her expression is suspicious. Her eyes have a look in them that read just like her reporter face, when she’s about to tie all of her leads together into an answer. 

Alex clears her throat. “I think I’ll be fine.”

She’s just arrived home from a long days work, her body sore and tired, when a knock on the door comes. Alex fights off the urge to sigh, all she wants to really do is crawl into bed, but instead she’d walked in and noticed just how out of hand she’s allowed her dishes to get and- She dries her hands, setting the last dish on the counter and drying her hands before making her way over to the door. She jerks it open, expecting some delivery guy to have the wrong apartment-

“Hey,” Sam breathes, softly. She’s wearing a huge puffy jacket, the hood of it fuzzy with fake fur. With her hands tucked into her pockets Alex can still see the edges of her gloves.

Alex feels a weight lift from her shoulders, lips instantly quirking up.

“Hi,” Alex leans against the doorway, letting Sam’s presence help pull her from her work mindset, “Where you heading?”

“Actually, I was hoping you’d come with me.” Sam responds, a little nervously. 

Alex’s instant response is a grin. “Where are we heading?”

“Well, Ruby’s out at a friend’s and I wanted to surprise her with a tree when she gets home... But I can’t exactly haul one up and down these stairs on my own so…” Sam ducks her head, like she’s realized how ridiculous the request is.

All Alex can do is stare at her. It’s been so long since she’d last been on a lot to pick one out. She hasn’t had a Christmas tree in her own apartment ever, because there’d never been a reason when she always celebrated the holiday somewhere else. The last time Alex can remember being there for the process of picking one out was when Jeremiah was still alive. The thought is bittersweet, because while it brings back thoughts of him, they’re all good memories. Ones of her childhood, and those late nights when she and him had gone on their own, because he’d wanted to bond or something, always stating that she was who he trusted the most to help. Then, when they’d brought it home safe, they’d always decorated it as a family. For some reason, the idea of surprising Ruby with a tree makes her heart jump. “You wanted me to help you pick out a tree?”

“Yes… But if you’re busy I totally-”

“Just let me get my jacket.”

There’s snow on the ground. It’s actually more slush, lingering on the edges of the road, dirt and asphalt mingling in after a few hours of sitting... But still, it’s a part of winter and the sight of it now, late in the night, running an oh so familiar errand years later, makes Alex happy.

As they step out of the car and begin walking across the parking lot to reach the lot where the trees have been collected, Sam jogs to catch up with her, before knocking their shoulders together, just as she had when they’d taken Ruby trick or treating two months before.

Alex laughs down at her feet and tries not to focus on where their elbows are brushing through their jackets. 

There are only a few straggling buyers who are seemingly all preparing to leave, meaning the trees will be all theirs to browse. They’ll be able to take all the time they need.

One of the guys that obviously works there, with a hat on his head that has elf ears on them, acknowledges them with a nod. Sam and Alex both lift a hand in a wave before continuing on, leaning into one another.

There’s Christmas music playing over speakers they’ve placed at the end of each row of trees, making the space warm with nostalgia and memories, despite the weather. 

When they get to the point where the rows of trees begin, Alex turns to Sam. “You want to split up? Cover more ground?” 

Sam gives her a look, like she should know better. It’s teasing while remaining firm and it makes Alex feel something, fond maybe.

She wonders if Sam might become the best friend she’d never really had outside of Kara.

“Alex, honey,” Sam laughs, linking her arm through Alex’s and beginning to drag her forward, “Where is the fun in that?” 

Alex chuckles along, letting Sam lead her down the first line of trees.

“So,” she starts, “What are we looking for exactly?”

Sam exhales, glancing around. Alex realizes she can see both of their breaths in the cold night air and is grateful to her past self for having the foresight to bring a hoodie to put under her leather jacket.

“Honestly? Anything we can get up the stairs without breaking anything, so… Small.”

“I’m stronger than I look,” Alex responds.

“I’m not worried about you,” Sam reassures, “I was actually talking about the building more so than us. I’d rather not have to pay for the tree going through a window,” She jokes.

“Right,” Alex nods. “I think if we take our time we should be okay.”

Sam raises her eyebrows, “Whatever you say.”

“I used to do this with my dad every year when I was a kid,” Alex shares, without thinking. “I know what I’m doing, trust me.”

“I do,” Sam murmurs.

Alex turns to look at her, catching her eyes in the dim light. “What?”

“I’ve never heard you talk about your dad before,” Sam answers, staring at her.

Alex thinks about that for a second. She doesn’t really talk about him ever and then she realizes how little Sam talks about her family and how she’d mentioned her mother when they’d talked about records just a week earlier. Alex decides that it might not hurt to open up to her about it.

“He died when I was twenty.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Alex shakes her head. “He died doing what he cared about.”

“And what’s that?”

“Uh,” Alex clears her throat, she always feels awkward talking about this part, “He was a cop.”

Sam’s breath catches. “A cop?” 

“I know, I know…” Alex stops walking for a moment, taking in a deep breath, trying to push back the tears prickling behind her eyes. “Originally I was studying to be a doctor, but… When he died… I wanted to keep the legacy alive, you know? Save people. He was a good dad.” 

“He sounds like it,” Sam breathes, bringing her gaze back to her feet.

Alex’s heart aches for a moment when she thinks about how Sam had never had that relationship. 

Then Sam pulls her hand out of her pocket and grabs Alex’s, holding it tight. She smiles at her reassuringly.

Alex sighs, feeling the tension leave her body, “I just want him to be proud.”

“I’m sure he is,” Sam squeezes her hand. 

“Yeah,” Alex nods. She wonders if it’s true. 

Sam must sense her sadness, because then she’s resuming in pulling her along, slipping out from her quiet demeanor and instead going back to her gentle humor and soft smiles. 

“So, trees,” She emphasizes and Alex feels herself shift back into a smile, finding it easy to be happy around Sam.

“Right, trees.”

They continue walking, now paying more attention to their options. Most of the threes are far too big to fit on top of Sam’s SUV, let alone inside her apartment, or too scrawny and lopsided, or full of gaps and missing branches. Alex is looking for one that she knows will last, that will look how the Christmas trees of her childhood had. She wants to make sure Ruby loves it.

Alex is so focused that she barely notices the song change until Sam’s arm around hers tightens.

“When the bells all ring and the horns all blow,”

“Ugh,” Sam groans, tilting her head up towards the sky with closed eyes, “I love this song.”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever heard it,” Alex chuckles, watching Sam take it in. 

“And the couples we know are fondly kissing… Will I be with you or will I be among the missing?”

Sam opens her eyes, focusing back on Alex with the slight curve of her lips. “But this is a classic. I thought everyone had heard every holiday song about a million times.”

“I thought I had too.”

“Maybe it's much too early in the game, but I thought I'd ask you just the same: What are you doing New Year's, New Year's Eve?”

“You have been deprived of so much good music,” Sam shakes her head.

“Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight, when it's exactly twelve o'clock that night. Welcoming in the New Year, New Year's Eve.”

Their shoes crunch against the loose gravel and half melted snow on the ground. There’s a calm in the air and it radiates through Alex, through the tension in her shoulders, down to her hands. Being in the moment, gentle music playing in the distance, the smell of pine all around her and Sam by her side, makes Alex forget about everything other than this moment.

“Maybe I'm crazy to suppose I'd ever be the one you chose, out of the thousand invitations you received.”

The cold nipping at Alex nose and ears seems to go away as Sam starts to hum along, leaning a little heavier into Alex’s side as they continue down the row, appraising the trees easily.

“Ah, but in case I stand one little chance, here comes the jackpot question in advance, what are you doing New Year's, New Year's Eve?”

They’re just reaching the end of their second row of three when the edge of Alex’s ear feels another small shock of cold. Alex brings her hand to it quickly, finding-

Sam lifting her hand into the air, allowing one of the falling pieces to land against her palm. “Look… More snow,” Sam murmurs.

Alex laughs, sees her breath turn to vapor in front of her. “We should try to get the tree quickly then, before we can’t drive it home.”

Sam makes a contented sound, leaning into Alex’s side. “Hey,” she picks her head back up, “What about this one?” She pulls Alex forward to a tree just a few feet further.

It’s barely taller than Sam, not too skinny and not too wide, with perfectly placed branches that make it appear well filled out.

“I think it works,” Alex turns to look at her, their faces close. For some reason, it doesn’t make Alex uncomfortable like it would with anybody else.

“Glad we’re in agreement,” Sam laughs, “Come on, lets get home.”

After about twenty minutes of struggle, they get the tree up the stairs, into the Arias apartment and situated onto a tree stand, putting it up in the corner of the living room.

It had gone smoother than anticipated, but Alex still lets out a sigh of relief. She puts her hands on her hips, admiring their handiwork. She is pretty sure she’s going to smell like pine trees for weeks, but it’s worth it because Sam lunges into her, arms wrapping around her middle. 

It’s still unexpected whenever Sam hugs her, but she’s Sam and her coat smells like Christmas and old memories and her hair like pomegranate shampoo. Plus, she’s warm and Alex’s whole body still feels numb from the cold outside, so she holds her back, nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck. 

“Thank you.”

Alex doesn’t respond, just wraps her arms a little tighter around Sam. 

Finally, Sam takes a deep breath and starts to pull away. It takes Alex an extra few moments to realize she needs to let go.

“I have something for you,” Sam murmurs, turning around to one of the boxes around them labeled ‘Christmas’ in Sam’s graceful, although slightly messy, handwriting. Then Sam turns back to her and they’re still so close that Alex has no idea what it is she’s grabbed, even as Sam presses it into her numb fingers.

“What’s this?” Alex glances down at the fuzzy object in her hands.

“It’s a stocking.”

She looks back up at Sam questioningly.

“Look, I know you’re not gonna decorate your own apartment and you’re over here enough that we should include you.”

“Oh… Uh…” Alex clears her throat, blinking back a sudden well of emotion. “Thank you.”

“Plus, Ruby loves having you around and I think she might try to move in with you if you aren’t included here, so… It’s in both of our best interests.”

Alex laughs.

“Come on,” Sam grabs Alex’s hand not holding the red and white sock and tugs her over to the spot beneath the TV where two stockings already hang, a little off center to provide room for another. There’s a third nail already hammered into the wall and Alex feels her heart ache as she slides the hook over it. 

The two move backwards together, standing back to stare at the completed decorations.

Their fingers are still interlocked, Sam’s forearm pressing against Alex’s. Despite Sam being a few inches taller, she leans over and places her head on Alex’s shoulder.

“Merry Christmas, Alex.”

“Merry Christmas, Sam.”

They pull back to smile at each other.

For a moment something is different. There’s a beat where the world seems to turn on its axis and Alex feels odd while looking up at Sam, the string lights of the tree making Sam shine even in the dark room and then-

There's a knock on the door.

Alex takes a deep breath, pulling her eyes away from Sam. 

“Ruby’s home.”

Alex clears her throat as Sam goes to let her daughter into the apartment. 

The second the door opens, Ruby’s eyes land on her. “Alex!” She shouts, running to hug her, nearly knocking her over with the force of it.

“Hey, kid,” Alex hums, unable to stop the spread of happiness through her bones.

Ruby does let her go, just keeps her arms wrapped around her middle a few more moments.

Alex catches Sam’s fond smile. She wishes she could hug her right now too.

Then Ruby does pull away. “You got a tree!” She cheers. 

“We sure did,” Sam moves forward to loop her arm around Ruby’s shoulders.

Ruby turns to Alex without hesitation. “Wanna help decorate?” 

Alex feels her heart melt a little at Ruby’s expression and she wants to, for her, but she can’t intrude on their family time. “It’s late, Ruby,” she reasons, backing up towards the door.

“But Alex-”

“I should be going-” Alex puts her hand on the knob. She needs to go back to her own apartment. Sam has to be wanting her out of here by now. She’s going to leave. This is family time. 

Just as Alex is about to turn the knob, take the final step towards forcing herself to go, Sam’s voice weights in.

It’s not Sam talking. It’s Sam singing. “But, baby, it's cold outside,” she croons, so softly Alex might’ve missed it had there been any more noise in the building.

Sam isn’t looking at her, she’s got her hands working through the tangled wires of the tree lights. There’s a moment where all Alex can do is stare at her.

Then their eyes meet and Sam’s smiles, warm and welcoming and- Alex takes her hand off the doorknob.

Alex clears her throat, turning back to Ruby. “Only if your mom doesn’t mind.”

Before Ruby can respond, Sam says, “I don’t,” and Alex is staying.

The Christmas party rolls around sooner than expected. 

Alex gets to Kara’s first to help with putting the finishing touches on everything. Then Winn shows up in a bright red Christmas sweater, carrying a six pack and a bottle of wine as well as a bag of presents. He gets there right before the party should start, so the three of them are just finishing up when-

The guests start arriving. First it’s James, then J’onn and his father M’yrnne. J’onn is Alex and Winn’s boss at the police department, so it’s slightly awkward (at least for Winn), but he’s been like a father to Alex and Kara after all these years without their dads. They ask about Eliza, and Kara explains that she couldn’t make it because of work. Alex and Kara have promised to Skype her in the morning, which makes them both feel better.

The last ones to show up are Sam, Ruby and Lena. 

Ruby bounds inside, already attaching herself to Alex’s side while Sam walks in looking exhausted, beside her Lena doesn’t look too much better. 

“We’re late, I know,” Sam says, brushing past her to move into the apartment. “I was out Christmas shopping and then we-” She gestures back towards Lena and then at herself, “Got pulled into a conference call where some very unpleasant men were yelling at me in German.”

“Thankfully Sam speaks the language. I would’ve been lost without her,” Lena remarks, following behind Sam.

It’s surprising to learn that Sam speaks German, but with the how frazzled both women seem right now, Alex doesn’t want to bombard them with questions about it.

“Sounds like you guys need to take a break, maybe have a drink or two,” Alex wraps her arm over Ruby’s shoulder, already leading her away to give Sam a minute to decompress. “Feel free to open the good stuff.”

The party goes perfectly. Despite the introduction of some unknown variables, everyone seems to take to each other well. All milling about and interacting, casual conversation flowing easily between all of them. Kara seems thrilled that everyone is getting along, but Alex isn’t surprised. Sam is an amazing person, of course she’d get along with all the people they already love, plus she’s charming beyond belief, so that has to work in her favor. Ruby is just… Ruby. It’s really hard not to care about her when she’s always got a bright smile and a smart comment ready to go. Lena is incredibly dynamic herself, easily winning over a crowd.

Although, out of the corner of her eye, Sam can see Lena watching Kara over her glass of wine, eyes tracking her every movement. It worries her a bit, she can see the plans forming behind Lena’s eyes. She’s been able to tell from moment one that Lena’s interested in Kara, but now that Lena’s begun to get tipsy she’s just a tad bit more worried she might attempt to make a move before really thinking it out how she wants.

Whenever Sam and Lena’s eyes meet she sends her a disapproving mom look and hopes it’s enough to stop her from doing something she’ll be embarrassed about later.

Eventually, Kara deems it time for presents, which means all nine of them gather in Kara’s living room around the coffee table where the gifts have been stacked. Everyone seems excited to get started.

“Lets do Alex’s gifts first,” Kara decides.

Alex laughs at how sisterly it is, putting her into the spotlight first. “Fine, but I get to choose who opens first…” She glances around, purposefully not lingering on Ruby for too long. She can practically feel the girl vibrating with energy beside her. 

“Alex,” She hisses, when it’s gone on too long for her.

“Oh? You want to open yours first, Ruby?”

She nods enthusiastically.

“I don’t know…”

“Aleeeex,” she whines.

Alex laughs and gives in, leaning over Winn to grab the box and hand it to her.

Across from her Sam makes a soft sound. When Alex meets her eyes, Sam has a grateful expression on her face. Alex has to look away to stop from blushing.

“NO WAY!” Ruby cheers, pulling the Overlook Hotel hoodie up first.

“The Shining!” Kara grins, leaning over Lena to look closer at it. “That’s so cool, Alex, I want one!”

“Kara, you don’t even like The Shining,” Alex laughs.

“Yeah, I do!” She protests.

“Uh huh…” Alex rolls her eyes. “Keep going Ruby.”

Then comes the ‘I Want To Believe’ phone case. “OH MY GOD-” The girl immediately scrambles for her phone, taking off her old case and clicking the new one on. “Alex, I love it,” She turns to throw her arms around Alex’s neck.

“I’m glad,” She smiles, hugging her back and feeling like she’s done something right. Even with how simple it is, it makes Alex’s desire to be a mom more concrete, and confirms what she already knows just a little more. Ruby retakes her seat next to her, leaning into Alex’s side. 

Alex looks over at Sam, who looks teary eyed. 

“Thank you,” She mouths.

Tearing up slightly for some reason at the sight herself, Alex just nods before looking away.

James lets out a belly laugh at the framed picture of Clark she’d wrapped. J’onn and M’yrnne are both appreciate for the matching bathrobes she’d picked out for them, explaining that she thinks they should both take more time to themselves as well as together. 

“Okay, who’s next?” Kara asks, trying to give out one person’s gifts all at once.

“Wait,” James interrupts, “What about you?”

“Alex and I are opening our gifts to each other tomorrow.”

“You’re staying over?” Sam asks.

“Yeah. I always do, so we can wake up and spend the morning how we did as kids.”

“That’s sweet,” Lena coos, bumping Kara’s shoulder.

The night goes on like such, everyone drinking (with the exception of Ruby) and laughing and having a generally good time being together.

At one point, when there’s a pause in the gift openings, James gently places a Santa hat atop Sam's head, which Winn then proceeds to lean over and adjust, pulling it further down, nearly covering her eyes.

Sam’s own laugh joins theirs, eyes meeting Alex’s as she pulls it off. There’s something there. Something to it. Soft and knowing and intimate and theirs. 

Leaning back against the couch, arm up along the back, Alex takes a sip of her beer through a smile.

Then Winn claps his hands and makes grabby hands for a gift and Sam’s attention gets pulled away. Alex stares for just a few more seconds, taking in Sam’s smile and the giggle as Winn shakes the box, which is when Alex promptly realizes it’s her gift to him. “Hey, be careful-”

He pulls back the wrapping paper with a dramatic flourish. “YOU GOT ME AN ALEXA?” He shouts, turning the box over in his hands, like he can’t quite believe what he’s holding. “Alex, you shouldn’t have,” He says, but he’s already ripping into the cardboard as well.

“Alex-” Kara starts, her eyes welling up with emotion.

Alex rolls her eyes, trying to distract from the sentiment of the situation. “Don’t be so quick to thank me, I only got it so Winn has someone to talk to who won't mind listening.”

Then Kara’s brow furrows and she smacks Alex’s arm before reaching for another gift, handing it over to James.

Alex looks back at Winn to see him staring at her, his own eyes watery as well. She smiles to herself and nods over at him, acknowledging him without the emotion of it becoming too much for either of them (she’s still not quite ready to admit just how much she loves him) and turns her head away.

Accidentally, Alex ends up meeting Sam’s eyes. She’s looking at her with a kind of amazement, her eyes soft and kind and just for Alex. She blushes, ducking her head.

Later, when the presents are done and Kara moves to throw all of the wrapping paper away and everyone disperses again, entering their own conversations, Alex gets up to refill her drink and Sam follows.

“That was sweet, what you did for Winn,” She says, when she’s sure they’re out of earshot of the rest of the guests. Alex is thankful for that at least. 

“No, it’s just, uh-” Alex shakes her head, blushing once again as she tries to remember her less sentimental reasonings for getting him such a nice gift.

“Alex… It’s okay. I won't let anybody else know you’re a softie,” Sam grins, bumping Alex’s hip with her own.

“I’m not-”

“Yes. You are… But it’s okay,” And then Sam takes the bottle of wine from her hands and refills both of their glasses. “And-” she sets her wine bottle down, “Speaking of gifts.” She turns back to Alex, her lips pulled into a small, soft smile, as she hands over a neatly wrapped package. “Here.”

Alex realizes Sam must’ve been hiding it as she followed her into the kitchen, as she’d never even noticed it. Maybe her detective skills are getting a little rusty.

“Oh, Sam… I didn’t-” Her guilt comes to the surface for not having gotten anything for Sam. She hadn’t been able to think of anything good enough to get for her. “You didn’t have to-

“Yes. I did. Like I said at Thanksgiving, you’ve impacted my life… The least I can do is give you something in return. Don’t worry, it's nothing big.”

Alex tries to restrain her own emotions from showing on her face, although the joy still seems to make its way through. 

“Go on,” Sam nods to the present, “Open it.”

Alex looks down at the package, sighing and shaking her head before ripping into it. When the paper is all gone, she lifts up the lid of the box to find- “A hat?” Alex questions.

Sam’s laugh is musical and light, “I promised, didn’t I?”

“You said you would buy me a hat if I didn’t like the haircut… And I do.”

“Yes and I’m glad that you like it, but I realized after it happened that it’s about to be winter… Or, it is already winter. Just didn’t want your head to get cold,” Sam looks amused with this logic.

“It’s sweet,” Alex blushes slightly, dipping her head down to look at it again. It’s plain black, but soft in her hands, warm. She rubs her thumb over the fabric before looking back up at Sam. “I didn’t get you anything.”

Sam shakes her head. “You didn’t need to. You’ve done enough.” Then she reaches her hand out, gesturing to the hat. “Can I?”

“Oh, um,” Alex snaps out of a slight daze and hands it over to her. 

Sam smiles softly before putting her hands inside the hat. Alex doesn’t have the time to wonder what exactly she’s doing before Sam is lifting her arms and carefully maneuvering it over her hair.

Her palms and fingertips brush against her scalp, her ears, her neck and Alex feels a slight heat rise to her cheeks. She blames the cold. 

“There,” Sam breathes, brushing the longest part of Alex’s hair away from her face.

“Thanks.”

Sam leans against the counter, eyes flicking over Alex as though she’s appraising her. “It looks good on you,” She nods. 

Alex is staring up at her, trying to figure out how to respond, when Winn comes barreling into the kitchen. She straightens up, for some reason feeling like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t. He makes a beeline for Alex, placing his body between hers and Sam’s to wrap his arms around her middle. Slowly, Alex brings her arms up to hold him back. Sam smiles at her from over his shoulder before turning, her look fond and knowing, and exiting the kitchen, like it’s her cue to talk to Winn. 

A few hours later, Kara, Lena and Ruby have all passed out on couches and James shrugs on his coat, helping a sleepy and drunk Winn into his own and leading him out of the apartment, promising to get him home safe. ( Winn does insist on hugging Alex a few more times before they leave). J’onn and M’yrnne had left an hour or so before them, J’onn had probably just not wanted to be around just in case his employees and their friends decided to get too drunk, which is a state he’d seen Alex in once. It’s not an experience either of them are eager to relive. 

Alex says glancing around the apartment at the remnants of the party. Although it hadn’t been anything crazy, there’s still debris left behind. 

A few feet away from her, Sam starts picking up, grabs both Kara and Lena’s wine glasses as well as one of Winn’s abandoned beer bottles. 

“What are you-”

“Cleaning up.”

“What? No, Sam, you don't have to-”

“I want to,” she says, coming to a stop right in front of Alex’s face.

“Why?”

“Make it easier for you.”

“You don’t need to-”

“You’re sweet,” Sam says, pressing her hand to Alex’s cheek. “But I still want to help.”

Alex still isn’t sure. She doesn’t want Sam to have to do anymore than she has to. She already works so hard. 

“Alex, I’ve been pretty much professionally cleaning up messes for twelve years. It will go faster if you let me help.”

Alex stares at her for a few moments, lets Sam’s expression chip away at her argument at record speed before sighing and giving in with a nod.

Sam smiles at her. “Thank you. Now, let's get to work.”

Then Sam is moving away and beginning to assemble dishes in the sink.

They work quietly, first gathering things up from any space they should not have wander into, like streamers into Kara’s bedroom or confetti in the corners of the living room or draped through the leaves of Kara’s plants.

Alex is picking up the gift wrappings that had been hastily thrown about as they’d opened presents earlier as quietly as she can around the coffee table when she stands, catching something out of the corner of the eye she has to stop and look at. 

Just opposite of where Lena and Kara passed out on the couch, bodies turned toward one another like the they’d been talking before the alcohol had won them over, Ruby curled up into a ball on Kara’s chair. She’d actually passed out just after J’onn had left, hand smushing her cheek as she attempted to keep her head up and awards of what was happening around her. The way she’s laying cannot be comfortable, her legs draped over the sides of the thin wooden arms, body propped up against the opposite one, head on her knees. 

“Hey, Sam,” she say, just loud enough for the other woman to hear and not to wake their friends up.

“Hm?”

“We should move her to Kara’s room.”

Sam appears at her side, looking down at her daughter. “Is that okay?”

“Kara won’t mind,” Alex says, starting to move forward to grab her.

Sam beats her to it. Gently, Sam loops her arms beneath Ruby’s legs and then one around her back. Sam pauses and for a moment Alex thinks she won't be able to pick her up, but then Sam’s standing at fully height, “Come here, baby,” Sam murmurs, pulling Ruby in close to her chest.

“You okay?” Alex asks, holding her hands out in case Sam needs to support.

“Yeah, I got her.”

“Mom?” Ruby mumbles into her shoulder. 

“Shhh,” Sam coos, beginning to walk back towards Kara’s room. 

Alex moves in front of her to help her inside, slides open Kara’s bedroom door as quietly as she can.

Carefully, Sam sets Ruby down on the bed, first allowing her legs to rest on the mattress before slowly lowering the rest of her, making sure not to wake her up or hurt her accidentally.

“Goodnight, baby,” Alex hears Sam murmur, pressing a kiss to Ruby’s head before she’s moving away.

“That’s better,” Alex whispers, leaning against the door jam. “How she was laying before couldn’t have been comfortable.”

For some reason, Sam looks sad at the comment. “She’s a trooper.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... She’s slept in worse places.”

Alex is about to speak up, say something in response when Sam continues.

“I mean… There was a period when she was three where we lived in my car. Never complained, not once. Most kids would but… Ruby’s always been tough.”

Sam gulps, then moves back through the door, leaving Alex behind to stand there for a moment. Let the admission wash over her. The idea breaks her heart, but there’s something about Sam telling her that makes her feel overwhelmingly grateful that Sam trusts her enough to tell her about something like that. Alex moves out of Kara’s bedroom as well, closes the door behind her to assure Ruby’s rest, before turning to find Sam.

She’s out on Kara’s balcony, leaning against the railing to look out at the city. Alex goes to follow. When she’s through the door, the first thing she notices is how quiet the city is and how Sam is mirroring it. She approaches her slowly, leaning against the railing just next to her, allowing the silence to pass between them, wanting Sam to talk whenever she feels like it. 

There are water droplets dripping down from the overhang a few feet behind them, Alex focuses on the noise to distract from the sadness building in her chest for the woman beside her.

“I’ve been protecting her my whole life,” Sam says. “Feeding her. Carrying her. Making sure she’s warm and safe and… She’s been… Most of my life. And I’m fine with that, I wouldn’t change it but…” Sam sighs. A beat passes. Alex can practically see the memories running, like a film reel, behind Sam’s eyes, “Sometimes I think that I’m just so used to making things up on my own that I don’t leave room for people to help me.”

It hits Alex right in the chest.

“Yeah,” Alex whispers back, staring at Sam, “Yeah, me too.” She stares at her hands to try and distract from the way it’s starting to feel like there’s something wrong in her lungs.

She doesn’t think she’s ever been this close to Sam for so long before. The proximity brings a certain intimacy that allows Alex’s eyes to take her in in a way she’s never had a chance to.

Sam is so still and calm in this moment.

Suddenly, Alex can’t stop noticing.

Sam turns and the light from inside the apartments lights up her skin, and it reminds Alex of how warm she looks. Alex starts to focus on all that skin, like she wants to take it all in, but before she can get there, something else catches her.

Sam’s eyes are hazel. They look so bright, nearly gold, with the light reflecting on them and Sam isn’t looking at her but Alex can’t stop. She doesn’t know how she’s never noticed the color of her eyes before. They’re stunning.

And when Sam turns back to find Alex staring at her she smiles, all soft and kind and comfortable, the remaining air in Alex’s lungs vanishes. 

She’s beautiful.

Alex had known Sam was good-looking, because she’s not blind, but before now something had stopped her from realizing how truly gorgeous she is.

Alex blinks a few times, not sure why the moment suddenly feels so different. 

“We should probably finish cleaning up, huh?” Sam whispers, emotion cracking holes into the normal steadiness of her voice. 

Alex wants to patch them up, make her feel okay again. She can’t find the words to say what she feels, so she just nods instead, pushing back from the railing. 

Sam clears her throat at the door as they walk back inside and Alex watches her shake off the pain she’d unearthed outside and replace it with her real smile, teeth and curved lips and the hints of laughter in her voice as she starts to gather up the remaining food and place it back either into the fridge or into the garbage. They pick up the abandoned plastic plates, solo cups and beer bottles slowly stacking them as they make their way through Kara’s apartment. 

Alex’s mind is silent as they work. She keeps her eyes down, focused on the task at hand. She doesn’t think about the streaks of gold in Sam’s hair or her eyes or the sure way her hands move, the ever present strength she carries herself with matched with tenderness or any of the other little details she’s cataloged without realizing. When she glances back at Sam, who’s placing a few empty wine glasses into the sink, they flood over her again, in a rush. She returns her eyes down, tries to keep her mind off it.

Somehow, they end up on the same side of the table. Both caught up in clearing dishes and gathering up half eaten snacks, almost colliding into one another as they try to pick up the same dish.

They both try to allow the other to take it, attempting to be polite until Sam finally shakes her head and grabs it, laughing to herself at their mutual disfunction. Her eyes flick upwards for just a moment, focusing on something above Alex

Alex follows her gaze. Her heart skips a beat at what she finds.

Mistletoe.

“I’m sorry,” Alex laughs, nerves bubbling up uncomfortably in her chest. “Kara gets a little crazy about the holidays. We don’t have to… You know. It’s just a stupid tradition.”

Sam laughs too, looking a lot more nonchalant about the whole thing. “Yeah… Maybe we should though.”

“What?” Alex can feel the joints in her hands locking up with tension as she stares up at Sam.

“I mean really,” Sam shrugs, smile still firmly in place. “What’s the harm?”

Alex racks her brain for reasons why this is a bad idea and maybe she would’ve been able to come up with some yesterday, right now they’re escaping her, but she still knows that she shouldn’t.

“Think of it as trying something new,” Sam says, a slight smile on her face. 

Alex takes a deep breath and then exhales.

Sam isn’t scary. Sam is her friend. She’s comfortable with her.

Maybe that’s where the problem lies. 

She just hasn’t kissed anyone in so long and it’s not worth ruining a friendship over.

Alex looks at Sam again. She’s smiling, all easy and relaxed. It makes her feel calm, her hands loosening up. 

Sam doesn’t seem worried about it, so why should she? 

She’s right. What could possibly go wrong?

“Yeah… I’m- I’m okay with it with you are.”

“Good,” Sam says and the events that follow are fast.

Sam steps forward, placing herself in Alex’s space. Then her hand is resting on the side of Alex’s face.

There’s a clear progression of what exactly happened, but Alex’s mind is running too fast and too little to process exactly what it was because this is not what she expected.
There's a moment when their lips touch, where the world narrows to that point of contact. Where everything goes silent and still and it feels as though the universe has stopped because Sam has pressed her lips to Alex's. Then, as if trying to anchor her, Sam's other hand comes up, fingers pressing lightly, barely there against Alex's neck as if steadying both of them.

Finally, Sam pulls back a little.

Alex doesn't open her eyes because she can't. She's barely processed that they've been kissing and her brain doesn't have the time to catch up to the fact that they've stopped before Sam's mouth is on hers again. And that's all it is, their lips pressing into one another's over and over, never going past that.

They’re so close, but Sam still feels so far. It takes all of Alex’s willpower not to push against Sam, feel their bodies pressed together.

It feels like it goes on for so long that the sun must be rising by the time that they part, but instead of making Alex tired it makes something inside her feel awake and pulsing and like she could go run 30 laps and still be full of the same energy.

Alex exhales shakily. She hadn’t even realized she’d been holding her breath. Then, she can’t help a slight laugh. 

"Wow," Sam breathes.

Alex can't respond, unable to find her words. Her eyes are still closed. 

She doesn’t even realize that she’s leaning into Sam’s hands until they’re slowly retreating off her skin.

Alex’s eyes flicker open just in time to watch Sam back away from her, easy casual smile in place. She doesn't understand how Sam can be so... collected, when Alex feels like she's just stepped into a different world.

She glances over at the time, it’s barely a minute later. She watches the number change. 

"You're... really good at that," Sam clears her throat.

"Uh..." Alex clears her throat, "You aren't so bad yourself."

Sam shakes her head, turning away to pick up a few more plates off the table. "You don't have to lie to me Alex. I'm rusty, I'm sure. It's been a while."

"It cant have been that long, you seem pretty well practiced to me." Alex has no idea where the words are coming from, because the inside of her brain still feels like she's trying to swim through honey and syrup, like she's going to be trapped in this post kiss daze for years.
Sam smiles at her over her shoulder and Alex feels her heart jump at the blush on Sam's cheeks. She turns away as fast as she'd looked over. "A few months at least."

"Yeah, well..." Alex stutters. "You're... good. Really good."

"Thank you."

"Like... the best." Alex suddenly wants to hit herself. Why would she say that? She's kissed two women in her life before this, she should know how to handle herself afterwards by now, but here she is acting like a teenage boy. Why is she so awkward? Why can't she just be as casual as Sam's being?

"Put these in the sink for me?" Sam asks and suddenly Alex realizes Sam’s already gone back to doing the task at hand.

Quietly, Alex thanks the universe for the fact that Sam's back stays turned to her, so she can’t see just how much of a flustered mess Alex is.

Alex was good.

Really good.

She and Lena haven’t slept together for a while, and before that arrangement had popped up, Sam had been in very few pleasurable encounters.

And while Lena was good, their styles we're a little different. Clashing like the wrong sides of a puzzle piece. As a couple, they simply never fit, never would, their pieces didn't line up right. Lena had been a good kisser in all aspects but they just weren't compatible in that way, so while it was good, it wasn't what either of them really needed from one another for it to be permanent. 

As lovers, they could make it work if necessary, but they're a little too similar, constantly fighting each other for control. When it was all said and done, they'd much rather laugh and joke with one another than cuddle and fall asleep, which is where they found their fit. As friends, they were a perfect match, seamlessly keeping up with one another in every aspect. These dynamics, of course, made their arrangement good, great even. They were both good at sex, but unfortunately, their personalities and their desires didn't align correctly for it to be more than casual. 

It's easy to be a good kisser, but to be compatible with another person is much harder.

This is where the difference between Alex and Lena lies.

At the surface, Alex is a good kisser, but below that, from the moment their lips touch, Sam can feel the compatibility.
It's like when Ruby had tried to do puzzles as a kid, shoving pieces that didn't fit into one another because they were close enough to work while she looked for the real compatible parts. Alex isn’t that. Alex is the opposite. Alex is finding the perfect match, slotting right into place against Sam.
It makes Sam feel warm all over. She's not sure she's ever felt that level of perfect harmony... ever.

It’s nothing though. 

The second their lips part and Sam can snap herself out of post kiss haze, she forces a grin and gets back to work. Just because they’re compatible doesn’t mean it has to be more than that. Sam is so busy with work and Ruby and Alex is just as bad with cop stuff. Plus, they’re friends, of course they’re compatible.

“You two seem like you’re getting really close,” Kara says in the morning, when the topic of the party comes up. 

Alex thinks about their banter, thinks about the conversation they’d had on the balcony, how everything had seemed to slow down when it was just them, about the mistletoe.

She isn’t quite sure how to respond.

For the entirety of the six days between Christmas and New Years, Alex only sees Sam once in the halls. 

“Hey,” Alex greets.

“Hi,” Sam responds, she looks rushed. “I’d love to chat but-”

“Uh, actually I have to get going too… But  I, uh… I meant to ask you the other day, but what are you doing on New Years? We might be going to Kara’s again-”

“As much as I’d love to….” Sam cuts her off, “I can’t.” She looks sad to say it. “There’s… a work thing on new years. A party. I’d invite you but I doubt it will be much fun. It’s a lot of investment talk and old men thinking they know better than Lena or I how to run the company when they’ve all bankrupted at least one of their own.”

Alex nods, clears her throat. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Thank you for thinking of me though.”
“No, yeah… Of course,” Alex replies, and it’s fine. It’s a good reason for Sam to say no, but for some reason it still feels like someone’s just dropped a weight on her chest.

Somehow, it makes her feel almost lonely. 

Later than night, she tries to call Kara to make plans anyway.

“Hey, Kara,” she greets, “Did you want to get together for New Years?”

There’s a long pause, which is very uncharacteristic of Kara, who’d normally be jumping out of her skin at the chance to plan an event as well as see Alex. 

“Kara?”

“Um…” She starts nervously. “I totally wasn’t thinking -”

“You have plans, don’t you?” Alex sighs. They hadn’t made plans before this, so there’s no reason for Kara to keep her day open, but still it makes Alex feel even lonelier all of the sudden.

“I’m so sorry, Alex.”

“It’s okay, Kara.”

“It’s just… Lena invited me as to a work event and she’s-”

“A work event?”

“-So pretty - Yeah. A work event. She said it might be less insufferable with me there.”

Alex’s heart sinks.

Lena and Sam work together. It’s the same event and for some reason Sam, who’s known her for months, doesn’t want her there, while Lena, who’s known her sister for less than a few weeks, needs her there to make the event worthwhile.

Sam doesn’t want her there. She knows Sam said it would be boring, but they’ve been doing things that should be boring together for the last two months. Sam doesn’t at least think having Alex there might make it better?

“I think it might be a date-” Kara continues.

Alex’s throat constricts.

That makes sense. Why you’d bring a date to a boring work party and not just a friend, you wouldn’t subject a friend to something so uneventful, but with a date… Just being around the person you’re into automatically makes it better.

Alex doesn’t know why this realization makes it worse.

There’s a pause where she suddenly realizes her sister has stopped talking and is waiting for her to respond. She coughs, “That’s great, Kara.” 

Alex is happy for Kara. She and Lena do make sense in a way. Every time she’s ever seen them interact it looks like her sister’s got stars in her eyes, in a way she hasn’t seen in a long time, and Lena isn’t too much better. They could be good together.

And yet she still can’t truly focus on that because Sam doesn’t want her there.

“She’s so pretty…” Kara drifts off, sounding awed. Normally, it would make Alex smile, because Kara hasn’t been back out there for so long since her last asshole of a boyfriend… But right now? Alex doesn’t know what else to say.

“Good luck on your date,” She finally manages. “Lena’s nice.”

“She is, isn’t she?”

“Talk soon, Kara.” Alex hangs up and she feels bad about it, but also there’s a sick feeling building in her stomach and she needs something to distract her-

She reaches for a bottle of whiskey and calls Winn.

As the phone rings, she thinks about how Sam had called her a softie when it came to Winn. For a moment, she resents the statement. Wants to stop thinking about Sam and for some reason doesn’t want her to be right. Before she can hang up, he answers.

“Howdy, Alex!” He greets cheerfully.

It does make her heart melt a little. As much as she’d hate to admit it, he is like her brother.

Maybe Sam was right.

“Winn, hey, um...” Alex starts awkwardly, “I was just wondering what you were doing on New Years?”

“New Years? Oh, um… I don't have any plans. Why? You and Kara planning-”

“Kara’s busy actually. I was thinking… That maybe you and I could hang out? I know we don’t really do that but…” She trails off. A part of her wants to tell him she’s too hard on him, that she should be nicer, the other half can’t let her admit it. She just hopes he can hear it in the pause.

“Nice!” He cheers. “I could bring my Playstation if you wanted?” He rambles. “We could kick some zombie ass-” He cuts himself off, as if realizing an error, “Or… Or alien ass?” His voice tips up like a question. “If that's what you prefer?”

She chuckles a bit to herself, her mind, if only momentarily, off Sam. “Either is good, Winn. See you then.”

Just an hour before Winn is meant to be at her apartment, Alex realizes how her laundry has begun to overfill her hamper. She decides maybe she should do it, at least to keep Winn’s respect. From there, she sighs and gathers up the dark clothes, aka the majority, and heads out of her apartment.

Laundry, on New Years, she thinks as she makes her way down the stairs, a few years ago Alex would’ve been out for a full forty eight hours in celebration of the new year, but instead, she’s home alone doing laundry. How pathetic is that?

She’s so lost in thought that she’s already putting her clothes into the machine when a voice cuts through her thoughts.

“Hey.”

Alex pulls her head out of the washing machine, looking up to find Sara placing a basket of clothes on the nearest counter. “Hey.”

“How are you?” Sara asks, and Alex supposes the question is warranted, as it’s been a long time since they’ve talked. She isn’t quite sure how to answer.

“Um, well,” She clears her throat. “I’m okay.”

“Oh yeah? You and the new girl seem to be getting close…” Sara offers a suggestive raise of her brow.

“What?”

“The girl who moved in a couple months ago?”

“Huh?” Alex asks, draping her hands over her knees as she watches Sara start to put the laundry into the machine next to her own. 

“The one with the kid?” Another pointed look.

Alex ignores it. “How do you know that we’re close?”

“Uhhhh…” Sara starts, looking at her as though she’s being an idiot, “Well, for one I live right down the hall from you, Alex, and as we both know, the walls are... thin... to say the least.”  

Alex feels a blush creep onto her cheeks. After she and Maggie had broken up, Alex had been a wreck. A few days after she’d helped Maggie move out of the apartment, Sara had shown up at her door, asking if she wanted to go out for drinks. 

Sara’s excuse had been that she needed more friends. Alex had seen how constantly Sara talked to just about everyone in the building. There was Ray, who lives just a few doors down from the both of them, and Cisco, who Alex had never even seen before Sara had dragged him out of his own apartment to help fix her internet connection. Then there was Leslie, who has always been surly and rude towards Alex. Sara seems to be able to charm some warmth out of the many other inhabitants of the building Alex doesn’t even know the names of.

Alex was more than wary of Sara’s abundance of friends and otherwise, knew that Sara was feeding her a lie to get her out of her apartment. But she could see the concern in her eyes and was grateful for someone beside’s Kara checking in on her.

They had been acquaintances before that night and Alex had found as it went on, she actually liked Sara. Learning things about her in a short amount of time proved Sara to be understanding and wise, though a little bit cocky.

Alex had been spiraling. Sara had been sympathetic. One thing lead to another and-

Yeah. Not Alex’s proudest moment. 

It had felt like a mistake right at first, and made Alex feel awful and like she was suffocating under the weight of being with anybody other than Maggie. But after a few days of pointedly fleeing from Sara in the halls and ignoring the occasional knock on her door, Sara had cornered her and given her advice. It settled her down, made the whole thing feel less like a betrayal and more like a natural reaction to being hurt like she was. It helped, at least for a little while.

Sara keeps talking, snapping Alex out of her memories. “I come and go a lot and it seems like whenever I’m doing one of those you guys are talking.”

Alex had never even noticed Sara around Sam. “Uh… Yeah. We’re friendly.”

Sara nods, slowly, and looks back at her clothes like she’s disinterested. “Just friendly or?”

Alex shakes her head. “Just friendly.”

“Hm,” Sara nods, picking her basket back up, looking nonchalant in that way that Alex knows is fake, like she thinks she knows more than Alex does. 

She’s about to say something again, defend herself for some reason, when Sara speaks again. “I like the hair,” she smiles, pointing towards her own head in a way that’s sort of mocking before she’s backing out of the laundry room, leaving Alex alone with the interaction hanging in the air. 

Alex is thankful when Winn gets there. If anyone would be able to get her mind off her troubles, it’s him. Despite this, Alex still finds her mind drifting back to the party. To Sam. It makes her play less competitively, which must make Winn notice something’s wrong. Instead of pressing her about it, which he’s done in the past, just for her to shut down and run away from him, he gives her a quick hug, makes her a drink, and then keeps playing. It’s like a promise that he’s there if she needs him.

Alex keeps her eyes off the clock, so she’s not really sure when it hits the New Year, but eventually, Winn falls asleep against her couch. She slowly drapes a blanket over his form and turns the TV off. Venturing back into her room, there’s still a gnawing sensation in her chest she can’t place.