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Alec didn't make a habit of collecting things from demon hunts.
The only collectable items on missions around New York City tended to be more of Isabelle's thing—demon innards and scraps of things Alec didn't even want to think about weren't really his style.
A shivering hellhound puppy that came halfway up his calf, though? That was something he had to scoop up and cuddle. He couldn't help himself. Especially not when it nuzzled against the leather of his jacket and made the sweetest, most heart-wrenching little woof sound.
"Alec," Jace said uncertainty, standing with his seraph blade raised and pointed not at the half-dead demon still attempting to claw at his legs while it bled out on the floor, but instead the creature nestling into the warmth of Alec's arms. "Put it down, let me—"
Alec rolled his eyes. "It's a hellhound, Jace, relax."
Jace's eyes went wide. "Yeah! It's a hellhound! It's going to eat you!"
Isabelle's whip cracked down on the sluggishly moving demon right as Alec turned to shoot Jace a deadpan, really? sort of look, eyebrows half raised in exasperation. "How many Shadowhunters has Athena eaten, exactly?"
At the mention of Magnus' pet hellhound - who seemed to come and go from the loft as she pleased, requiring several hours of fuss when she came and then promptly disappearing when she became bored - Jace's expression darkened. "That thing probably eats three people a day."
Glancing over at Isabelle, whose lips were twitching in amusement, Alec shook his head. "She ate your shoes, Jace, and probably because Magnus was annoyed with you for barging in. Again. And this is just a puppy."
"That is not a puppy," Jace muttered. "It's evil. And it should be killed."
"I have always wanted to get a look at what a hellhound's anatomy is like," Isabelle mused, as she wiped the thick ichor off her whip and rolled it back around her wrist.
"This is ridiculous," Alec said flatly. "You're not killing a puppy. You two can go back to the Institute and write this mission up. I'm going home."
And, with that, he turned on his heel, rearranged his grip on the wriggling hellhound in his arms, and strode off through the quickly falling snow.
Magnus wouldn't be so ridiculously horrible about this hellhound.
***
"Alexander, you are not bringing that in here."
The voice came through the closed front door, and as Alec paused with his key halfway to the lock, it flew open, revealing Magnus standing on the other side. Nobody else would be able to look threatening in a soft Henley, fluffy, slightly damp hair, and bare feet with chipped polish, but Magnus managed it.
"Why not?" Alec demanded, as the hellhound peeked out from behind Alec's forearm to peer up at Magnus. "Look at it."
Magnus had his arms folded, and he pointedly ignored the wide eyes gazing up at him, instead glaring at Alec. "Athena's here. She'll eat it."
"Magnus, Artemis is a hellhound, not a golden retriever. They're the same species."
"Artemis?" Magnus arched an eyebrow.
Alec shrugged. "It seemed appropriate. Went with Athena. Magnus, babe, look at her."
He extending his arms a little in emphasis, and, reluctantly, Magnus dropped his gaze, pursing his lips. Alec could see the moment Artemis won him over with her wide eyes and damp, curling fur and adorable little nose. Magnus' expression softened, and his fingers twitched as though he wanted to reach out and pet her.
"Fine," he said, with far more huffing and drama than necessary. He waved a hand, blue sparks trailing from his fingertips, and Alec smiled when Artemis' coat dried off. "I hate you. Both of you. I can't resist cute things."
"Love you too," Alec said, kissing Magnus' cheek as he passed him.
"If Athena eats it, don't blame me!"
Alec just laughed.
***
Athena seemed to be able to smell the new addition to the household. Alec had barely taken off his boots and set aside his weapons before she was trotting up to him, sniffing around his legs. She jumped up, paws pressing into his hip as she tried to get a decent look at the creature he was holding.
"Down, Athena," Magnus said sternly from where he was sprawled out on the sofa. He pointed to the floor at his feet and snapped his fingers once. "Sit."
Shooting Alec a suspicious look, Athena obeyed, walking sullenly over to sit at Magnus' feet. Magnus reached down to pet her, scratching between her ears. She tilted her head up, encouraging the attention and turning away from Alec to demonstrate her displeasure at what he was bringing into her home.
"Alright," Alec said, easing Artemis out of his arms. "Let's see."
He set Artemis down on the rug several feet away from Athena. Athena stiffened, head jerking round to stare at Artemis, who was scratching at the carpet obliviously.
"She's going to eat it," Magnus said. "Just you wait."
Alec watched as Athena moved away from Magnus to sniff at Artemis as though he were a new brand of food Magnus was presenting to her.
"If she tries to eat her, I'm not playing with her for a week," Alec said, although they both knew it was an empty threat.
Athena was in the process of sniffing at Artemis' ear, when Artemis appeared to notice her for the first time, and let out a flurry of excitable barks, jumping up to nose at Athena's legs.
Athena was still for a moment, and then, entirely disinterested, she flopped down on the rug, setting her head on her paws and closing her eyes.
Artemis went to lick at her face, practically vibrating with excitement. Athena let the puppy sniff and nip and climb all over her, until Artemis settled down next to her, back pressed to Athena's belly.
Athena opened her eyes, looking up at Magnus as though begging him to save her.
Alec grinned.
***
"Okay, okay," Alec said, laughing at he tried to bat Artemis away while she assaulted him, jumping up at him and barking loudly. By the sofa, Athena was watching the spectacle with a distinctly disapproving expression in her face.
"She's gonna knock you on your ass," Magnus called, from where he was in the kitchen. "And don't leave your seraph blade near my coat again!"
"I didn't, I didn't, I—"
Artemis danced around Alec's legs, apparently forgetting that she was significantly larger than she was a month ago. The force of a hellhound barrelling into the back of his leg sent Alec crashing to the floor.
Of course, Artemis thought it was delightful, and proceeded to climb on Alec's chest to lick at his face, wet nose dragging everywhere as Alec tried half-heartedly to push her off.
He heard the deep, throaty sound of Magnus chuckling. Over Artemis' head, he could see Magnus sipping at a mug of coffee, scratching behind Athena's ears absently. Athena was positively preening at the attention, regal where Artemis was—
Well.
"Alright, enough," Alec said, trying to adopt the stern tone Magnus used on Athena. "Off. Sit."
It didn't exactly work. Artemis sat on Alec's chest, and continued to lick at him from her new vantage point. Magnus snorted.
"A little help?" Alec asked.
"I'm sure you're strong enough to pick her up and move her," Magnus said, smiling wickedly. "We're rather enjoying the spectacle over here."
"Asshole," Alec told him, and set about attempting to get a good enough grip on Artemis to lift her off without hurting her.
By the time Alec had successfully disentangled himself from his hellhound, Magnus was sitting cross-legged in the floor, stroking a hand down Athena's glossy black coat, expertly avoiding the sharp spikes lining her tail that could rip a man in half with a mere flick.
"Do I get a proper hello, now?" Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow teasingly.
"Magnus, I went to the grocery store."
"Well, Artemis appears to think you disappeared for at least a year. Maybe ten. I thought I should get in on the love."
"Yeah, but– Artemis, sit."
Artemis did, although she managed to look nearly as put out as Jace did when Alec told him that no, he was not allowed to go on yet another borderline suicidal mission that would involve breaking at least fifty laws.
"I don't understand how you do it," Alec said, groaning a little. "Make Athena behave."
"Firstly, Athena is older than you," Magnus said. "She's more docile. And secondly, I'm a Prince of Hell, darling."
Alec bit his tongue to stop himself calling Magnus out on that, because Asmodeus was a Prince of Hell, not Magnus himself—but it was a technicality. Besides, he knew what Magnus would say. The son of a prince is still called a prince, darling.
"One day, she's gonna behave," Alec said, stroking Artemis. "Aren't you?"
Artemis barked once in apparent agreement, tail wagging.
He glanced up to find Magnus watching him, fingers still trailing over Athena's fur, with a soft smile on his face.
"What?" he asked. "Have I got hellhound drool on my face?"
"No," Magnus said. "I just love you."
Alec smiled back, and leaned over Athena to brush a kiss across Magnus' lips. "I love you too."
"Mm." Magnus wrinkled his nose a little. "You smell of hellhound drool."
Alec rolled his eyes, shoving at Magnus' shoulder, and Magnus laughed.
Between them, Athena and Artemis exchanged a look of despair at their ridiculous humans with all their utterly bizarre habits.