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Taako is practically falling asleep at the table, and Merle looks like he's in about the same state, by the time breakfast is done. Kravitz pulls Taako into his lap, fingers running through his hair. It's one thing for them to complain about being out of spell slots after sex, but it's quite another for Taako and Merle to be completely tapped of magic, and fighting for their lives. No wonder they're exhausted. Taako feels so fragile in his arms, even though Kravitz knows that's reductive thinking. He just wants to keep him cradled here, protected. Nevermind Taako can and has kicked his ass five ways from Sunday.
“I should probably get going,” Merle says, rubbing his eyes.
“We've got a guest room, Merle. You're welcome to stay,” Magnus replies as he starts to stack their plates.
“No, no, it's okay.” He breaks off for a yawn. “I'm supposed to pick up Mavis and Mookie later.”
Taako snuffles against his chest as Kravitz continues to stroke through his hair. “Let me make you a portal, then,” he offers softly, and Merle smiles at him with relief.
“That'd be great, thanks.”
Magnus offers up his arms, and Kravitz transfers Taako over without the wizard even waking. Kravitz leans over to brush a kiss over Magnus’s lips. “I'm just going to see he gets home safely, he's vulnerable right now with his magic depleted,” he murmurs to Magnus, unheard by Merle.
Magnus nods, then turns to walk Taako upstairs to their bedroom.
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When Kravitz returns, he finds Taako fast asleep in bed, and Magnus leaning against the door jamb, arms folds over his chest, watching him, face inscrutable.
“Maggie,” he murmurs, opening his arms, not knowing exactly what his fighter needs, but knowing the hug might help.
A mere second passes before Magnus is in his arms, and that in itself seems like such a miracle to him. This strong man needs him. It’s humbling, and just like with Taako, Kravitz feels the fierce need to protect his mate blaze through him. He doesn’t need to protect Magnus’s body, true, but he makes a vow to the Raven Queen for the umpteenth time that he’ll protect Magnus’s mind and soul come what may.
Magnus is just the right height for Kravitz to brush his lips over his forehead; the dusting of red-grey bangs tickle his lips, but he feels Magnus melt a little into his arms, and it’s worth the slight discomfort.
He rocks Magnus as they both watch Taako rest. He can feel Magnus working himself up to speak, and lets him take the time he needs. Many moments later, Magnus turns back to him, brushing quiet lips over his. “Would you take a walk with me?”
Kravitz isn’t surprised by the request; it’s one of Magnus’s coping mechanisms, getting outdoors, doing something physical. He lets the circle of his arms drop, and takes Magnus’s hand instead. With a snap of his fingers, a note appears on the bedside table telling Taako where they’ve gone, in case he wakes up while they’re away.
Taako’s property sits on the edge of the forest; he’d bought it because it reminded him of his childhood, he’d told them - and Magnus angles Kravitz toward a well beaten path, whistling for Johann to join them. Kravitz smiles as Johann runs off to chase a rabbit.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel,” Magnus says, his voice almost blending in with the sounds of the forest.
Kravitz squeezes his hand. “You are never obligated to feel anything, Magnus.”
He can practically watch Magnus process that thought. He waits until he thinks he can push again. “Instead of thinking about how you should feel, can you identify how you do feel?”
Magnus’s thumb rubs over his knuckles; they both watch a flock of fat quail scurry across the path, hear Johann boofing in the distance. “I feel relief that Taako is okay,” Magnus says eventually. “Immense relief.” His eyes meet Kravitz’s.
Kravitz nods. “I understand. I feel the same.”
“I can’t- I don’t think I’d be able to handle him dying first,” Magnus whispers.
Kravitz sighs and shakes his head. “And Taako- well. Once upon a time, I knew Taako’s lifeline, but he - well, maybe all of you - are the servants of Istus.”
“But she’s the goddess of fate,” Magnus says, sounding confused.
“She is,” Kravitz allows. “But she’s also proof that fate changes. You, and indeed, all living beings, still have free will, Magnus. What Merle and Taako did yesterday is the ultimate proof of that. They made a choice, to pursue that man, and that choice could have changed their lifelines.”
Magnus pauses, running his free hand over the bark of a tree, seemingly lost in its texture. When he turns to Kravitz, though, his eyes are fierce. “But if Taako dies first, you’ll- you’ll get to see him, like you get to see Julia, and I’ll be all alone.”
You’ll have me, Kravitz thinks, then bites it back, then can’t, and the bitterness bursts out. “You’ll have me.”
“And you’ll have them, too.” The bitterness in his words matches Kravitz’s. Magnus drops his hand, and turns away.
Kravitz’s fingers feel bereft, the warmth leaving them as quickly as Magnus had. The forest is strangely silent, like all of the creatures have decided to listen in on their conversation. Kravitz doesn’t even hear the sound of Johann crashing through the bush anymore, but he knows the pup is out there somewhere.
“It’s not that you’re not enough, K, I don’t want you to think that,” Magnus murmurs.
“It’s hard-” Kravitz is surprised by the tears that come to his eyes now. “It’s hard not to think that.”
Magnus turns back to him, his eyes taking in Kravitz’s state, and pulls the reaper into a fierce hug. Kravitz lets the tears fall, squeezing Magnus back tightly. He squeezes his eyes shut against the tears and breathes Magnus in and - and opens up, as he so rarely does. “When I ple-” he coughs, and takes a hand away from Magnus’s body to swipe at tears. “When I pledged myself to my goddess, I-”
He pulls back, needing to be able to watch Magnus’s eyes for this. “It was hundreds of years ago, Magnus, I need you to understand that. Almost a thousand.”
Magnus nods, his brows drawn together, his arms a light circle around Kravitz’s waist. True to Magnus form, even when they’re in the middle of a tense moment, his fingers are running in comforting circles over the small of Kravitz’s back.
“When I pledged myself to my goddess, I knew I was giving up a lot, but- but it was important to me. She is important to me. The job I do is important.”
“I know,” Magnus whispers, sounding a little regretful for his words earlier.
Kravitz shakes his head. “It’s not - I don’t mean to say you didn’t know. Just that - I need you to know, when I was not my queen’s servant, I was- I loved music, yes, but I didn’t love- I didn’t know love. It makes it a little bit easier, maybe. I can be a little bit colder. More objective.”
“You’re not cold, Kravitz.” Magnus reaches up to flick a tear away from his cheek, then just stays there, cupping his face, and Kravitz lets his eyes close as his skin heats from Magnus’s. “You never have been. No one changes that much.”
“You have changed me, though. Both of you. Do you know how hard it is to keep you from Julia? A thousand years, and I’ve never been tempted, and I’ve enforced my lady’s law, and- and- and you stand over a grave and all I want to do is rip open a portal and show her to you. Show you she’s safe, that I’m keeping her safe for you, that she’s waiting, but not impatiently. She’s happy to wait.”
Magnus collapses against the tree, his knees giving out, and brings Kravitz to lean with him, unable to let him go. The hand that was cupping his cheek buries itself in his braids, and Kravitz leans his forehead against Magnus’s. “I haven’t appreciated how hard that must be for you, to be in the middle. I’m sorry,” Magnus whispers, his breath sliding over Kravitz’s cheek.
“It’s nothing, that’s life - well. Death.”
Magnus smiles a little, and leans up to kiss Kravitz. “Still. It’s going to be doubly hard when one of us dies. Whichever.”
Kravitz closes his eyes against it. “I’m not- not looking forward to that, it’s true.”
Magnus is quiet for a long while, long enough that Kravitz opens his eyes again, to see him processing a thought again. Then he looks up, meets Kravitz’s eyes, and smiles. “But it’ll only suck for a little bit. And then we’ll be reunited again. Over there. And hey, you bring Taako to the Astral Plane all the time.”
He takes Kravitz’s hands in his again, swinging them a little. “Julia might be a little, uh, surprised.”
Kravitz gives a watery laugh and kisses Magnus’s forehead. “She has an adventurous spirit.”
Everything about Magnus softens. “She does.” He kisses Kravitz again, then pushes off from the tree and heads back toward their house, whistling for Johann, who comes crashing through, covered in mud, tongue lolling. “Gods, well, I guess I know what I’m doing when we get back.”
Amused by Johann, in love with Magnus, Kravitz smiles and lifts Magnus’s knuckles to his lips. “I’ll use a spell slot, Maggie.”
Magnus’s eyes twinkle on his. “I think I’ll take you up on that.”
Their walk back is uneventful, except for another flock of quail - or maybe the same one - that Johann chases off into the brush. As they reach the edge, their house in sight, Magnus squeezes his hand, and they pause. “Thank you, Krav,” he says simply, his eyes conveying his meaning. Thank you for everything.
“I love you,” Kravitz hears himself say back.