Chapter Text
“First off, I’d like to thank you all for joining this impromptu meeting to discuss a very serious topic.”
Pidge announced the commencement of their totally professional friend-team-meeting from her perch atop the highest bean bag chair. All around her, her friends were sprawled in varying forms of comfort, snacking on chips and looking bored.
“I hardly think Lance’s love life is a serious topic,” Keith retorted, popping another hot cheeto in his mouth.
“It’s most definitely a serious topic, because we’re the ones that gotta deal with the fall out!” Pidge exclaimed, nearly knocking over a popcorn bowl in her fit of passion.
She’d just dealt with a lot of 2 am sad-Lance-calls recently, okay? She was justified in her tantrum.
“She’s got a point babe,” Hunk said, nodding at Pidge in understanding. “I get that Lance isn’t as close to you or Allura, but soon enough you’ll be subjected to his woes.”
“Woe cometh for us all.” Keith whispered cryptically, licking the cheeto dust from his fingers.
“Well, dear, what do you propose we do to help?” Allura asked between sips of her wine cooler.
“Thanks for asking princess. So, Lance, through some strange miracle, managed to bring us all together. But that definitely doesn’t make him a love guru.” Pidge motioned for Hunk to continue, which he did with vigor.
“In fact, he is endeavoring now to do probably the dumbest thing ever.”
“Which is?” Allura asked again, after a dramatic moment of silence.
“He’s trying to play matchmaker for Shiro,” Pidge announced, with every ounce of exasperation caged in her tiny little body.
Allura just looked confused, but at least the statement caught Keith’s attention, going so far as to make him choke on his cheetos.
“Is that what he’s been doing?” He asked between spicy coughs, tears in his eyes.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Hunk replied, trying to pat his back soothingly.
“I’m sorry, who’s Shiro?” Allura leaned in closer to Pidge, trying to be heard over Keith’s loud hacking.
“Sorry Allura, I forget you’re new to this friend group,” Pidge replied with an apologetic smile.
Hunk elaborated once his boyfriend wasn’t in danger of death-by-cheetos, “Shiro is a grad student, super cool dude, Keith’s best friend, and the root of Lance’s secret crush for the past year.”
“Wait, Lance has a crush on Shiro?” Keith asked as he wiped away some stray tears.
“Yes,” Pidge answered, regarding Keith’s surprise with suspicion.
She exchanged a quick glance with Hunk, who just shrugged. She was surprised Lance’s crush wasn’t obvious to the entire campus yet, but maybe Keith had just missed it somehow.
“Then why is he making Shiro date other people?” Keith asked, clearly affronted.
“That does seem rather counterproductive,” Allura agreed.
“Because he’s an idiot! Glad to see you’re all catching on!” Pidge exclaimed through a mouthful of popcorn.
“I think what Pidge means is that Lance is just a little dense and a lot lacking in self-confidence, so he thinks the best way to get over his ‘hopeless’ crush is to get Shiro to date someone else,” Hunk explained with a weary smile.
“Which is even worse, because I know for a fact that Shiro likes Lance.” Keith scoffed, reaching for his bag of hot cheetos again.
“Wait, seriously?” This was new information to Pidge.
“Uh, yeah?” He mumbled through a mouthful of artificial spicy goodness.
“Shit, well this is better than I expected. I thought we were gonna have to find a way to woo Shiro into asking Lance out.” Pidge reclined in her bean bag, just the slightest bit self-satisfied.
“No wooing needed, I can say that much. But Shiro’s just as stubborn as Lance when it comes to the whole ‘no, I’ll let him make the first move’ type of thing,” Keith explained further.
“Alright, so they have mutual crushes. Cool. They’re also both complete hard heads. Not cool. So, any ideas on how to get passed that?” Hunk looked around their group hopefully.
Everyone took a moment to brainstorm, looking lost in thought. Except for Keith. Keith just kept eating his hot cheetos noisily. It was actually getting kind of annoying. Pidge hoped he choked again.
Thankfully, Allura sat up with a sound of glee, gathering all their attention.
“Actually, I might have an idea.” She drawled, eyes bright with mischief.
Allura’s smile had that wicked quirk to it and Pidge grinned. Oh, this was gonna be good.
…
“Allura, I just wanna say thanks again for setting up this double date.”
Lance threw the comment over his shoulder, while he fixed his hair for the fifth time that hour, squinting at his reflection.
“Of course Lance, it’s what friends are for.” Allura shrugged from her spot on his couch, where she’d sat watching him in amusement for the past half hour.
“I’ve been trying so hard to find a girl for Shiro that I’ve put myself on the backburner. The ladies have been deprived of Lancey Lance for too long.”
Lance sighed, leaving his hair alone for now. Wait, was that a zit on his forehead?
“Right,” Allura agreed half-heartedly.
Allura had approached him a couple days ago, proposing a double date for him and Shiro with some girls she knew. Lance had been focusing his efforts on finding Shiro a date, trying to get over his dumb crush on the dude. He hadn’t even considered that another way to get over a crush was to find a new crush. Ideally, he could look for a girl that was nothing like Shiro. Someone small and feminine, with delicate features instead of the strong lines he’d been so enamored with.
“Anyway, stop primping and hurry along, you look fine. Ezor and Acxa don’t like to be kept waiting.” Allura finally pushed him away from the mirror, fed up with his vanity.
“Where do you know these girls from again?” Lance asked excitedly as they made their way out of his dorm building.
“They’re from my mixed martial arts class. So be nice.”
MMA fighters? Well, that dashed his hopes of finding a delicate girl. But that was fine! A strong girl would be great too! Allura was strong and she was gorgeous. He’d be lucky to have a girl like that. There we go Lance, think positive!
Allura walked him halfway to the meeting point and then left him on his own, getting a mysteriously convenient “emergency call” from Pidge. Lance let her go with a wave and continued on his way. Not a minute later, he spotted Shiro in the distance, looking around awkwardly. Suspicious? Maybe. But Lance shrugged it off and jogged over to the dude, greeting him chipperly despite his fluttering heart.
“Hey man, how are you feeling? You look a little nervous,” Lance commented, giving him a quick pat on the back.
“I guess you could say that.” Shiro smiled warily with a shrug.
“Aw, don’t be. You’re a total stud.”
“Thanks Lance. So are you.”
His smile was warmer this time, which meant Lance’s compliment worked. And he knew in his heart of hearts that Shiro was only being nice in returning the gesture. But that did nothing to calm the butterflies in his stomach. He sped up his walk, ducking his red face out of Shiro’s sight, and did his best to keep up some polite small talk.
They eventually caught sight of their meeting point in the distance, and as expected, there were two girls waiting in the shade of a tree. Even from this distance, Lance could tell they were stunning. They were both the same height, which seemed to match Allura’s stature; was there some sort of requirement for MMA fighters to be 5’8” or taller or something?
Lance sort of had his eyes set on the less intimidating one, with the pretty dark skin and bright pink hair tied in high ponytail. She seemed like a good time. Or maybe it was simply because she was the only one smiling that made her look more approachable. She could probably break Lance’s arm without even breaking a sweat. And she’d do it with a smile.
“You wanna call dibs?” Lance whispered to Shiro as they got closer to the pair.
“Uh, not really.” Shiro’s eyes were wide; Lance wasn’t the only one feeling intimidated.
“Just let them decide?” Lance suggested.
“Yeah.” Shiro nodded quickly.
That was their final exchange before the girls caught sight of them, the peppy pink haired one waving them over with a dazzling smile.
“Hi boys! You must be Lance, and Shiro?” She greeted, guessing their names correctly; Allura must’ve pointed them out before.
“I’m Ezor, and this is my girlfriend Acxa.” She waved to herself and then to the other girl.
Girlfriend? As in, a girl that was her friend? Lance really hated when girls said stuff like that, it did nothing but confuse him. Why couldn't they just call each other friends? Acxa just nodded at them, face still blank. Her sharp eyes paired with that dark lipstick and straight cut black bob made for a pretty severe picture. Not to say she wasn’t pretty, she definitely was. But if Ezor could break Lance’s arm while smiling, then Acxa was the type to break his leg without even sparing a look in his direction.
Lance was brought out of his strangely painful daydream as Ezor approached them, dragging Acxa closely behind.
“We’re still new to this city, so it was so nice to hear from Allura that you’d be willing to double date with us. We haven’t been out on a date since we don’t know what’s nice around here.”
Lance and Shiro exchanged a quick look. That sounded… oddly phrased, but Lance let it slide, answering with a charming smile.
“Yeah, of course. It’s our pleasure, really. Right Shiro?” He nudged the man next to him.
“Oh yeah, of course.” Shiro put on his best smile as well.
“Allura said you knew the best sushi place in town?” Acxa finally spoke up, gaze falling on Shiro.
“Yeah, I do.” His eyes lit up, smile softening into something more natural. “It’s a small family owned place. Not much foot traffic, so it’s never too busy. But I’m friends with the owners, they’re such a nice older couple. Really authentic food.”
Lance smiled up at his friend; Shiro was a real charmer, whether he intended to be or not.
“It’s not too far from here, so we can walk and talk, build up an appetite.” Lance suggested, motioning in the general direction of the restaurant.
“Sounds lovely! Lead the way boys.” Ezor clapped in delight and reached out for Acxa.
It seemed to almost happen in slow motion, the way Acxa moved forward with a soft smile, linking her fingers with Ezor. It was so natural, so intimate, that Lance found himself glancing away in embarrassment. Shiro seemed to have come to the same conclusion and turned away, cheeks pink, and began leading the way to the restaurant.
This was not what Lance had imagined when Allura mentioned a double date.
He spared Shiro a hesitant glance, only the find the man already looking his way with a bashful smile. In that quick moment, they seemed to both accept their fate. They weren’t going to ruin what would be this nice couple’s first date in town. So, Lance guessed they would just have to pretend to be dates as well. No big deal. He could pretend to be on a date with Shiro. What was the worst that could happen?
Shiro nudged Lance lightly to get his attention, ducking down to whisper in his ear.
“Hey, should we hold hands too?”
Lance jerked away, wide eyed and heart racing. Shiro snickered and backed off, slowing down so he could start chatting with the girls; as if he hadn’t just almost caused Lance to die of cardiac arrest or something.
This was setting up to be the longest day of Lance’s pathetic life.
…
“Wow Shiro, you weren’t kidding. This food is amazing!” Ezor applauded as she stuffed another piece of sushi in her mouth.
Between the four of them, they’d managed to order and sample at least half the menu. Shiro assured them time and again not to worry too much about the bill. He’d take care of it. Lance couldn’t decipher whether that meant Shiro had suddenly won the lottery and was rich, or whether he intended to keep Lance behind and wash dishes to help pay off the debt to the owners. But the girls were having a good time, so he guessed it was worth it either way.
“So, how did you two meet?” Ezor asked suddenly.
Shiro choked a bit on his green tea, but managed to reply with a confused, “Excuse me?”
“Ezor, not this again.” Acxa sighed with a roll of her eyes.
“What? I like hearing how people got together. You know I never pass up an opportunity to share our fateful meeting,” Ezor replied with a megawatt smile.
“Yes dear, I know you don’t,” Acxa grumbled.
Shiro and Lance exchanged a panicked glance. Ezor was looking at them expectantly, and even Acxa was watching them with vague interest. They had to come up with something, and fast. Well, might as well settle for the truth, right?
“Well, Shiro was the TA for one of my astronomy courses a couple semesters ago.”
That was true. They met in class, Shiro as Professor Coran’s less confusing assistant. Dr. Coran would give very enthusiastic yet somewhat convoluted lectures, and Shiro would stay after class to help explain any difficult concepts to students that needed it. Lance found himself staying back less because he needed the help, and more because he just liked Shiro’s company. Shiro seemed to recall their first meetings as well, since he chuckled and continued the story.
“Yeah, he would come up to me after lectures, always looking like he had a serious question about the day’s lesson.”
Lance smiled and added on, “But really, I would just drop the most ridiculous pick up lines on him. Every time. And he was still surprised, every time.”
They shared a quick laugh and Ezor practically cooed at them.
“Aw, that’s so cute! Isn’t that cute, baby?” She nudged her girlfriend but Acxa remained unimpressed.
“So you were wooed by cheesy pick up lines?” She asked, obviously skeptic of their ‘relationship.’
“Uh, no, well… not exactly.”
Shiro chuckled; he was too honest for his own good. Lance groaned internally, wishing Shiro had just rolled with it and told a lie, but then he kept talking and Lance felt his heart stop.
“That was just how he caught my attention. By the end of the semester, we were pretty good friends. It’s after I got to know him, that, you know...” Shiro trailed off vaguely, refusing to look at Lance suddenly.
Acxa leaned forward with a coy smile. “That you figured out you liked him?”
“Yeah.” And Shiro said it so bashfully, cheeks red, that it couldn’t be interpreted as anything but the truth.
Lance couldn’t breathe. It felt like all the air got punched out of him with that one word. Shiro still wouldn’t look at him, even though Lance couldn’t seem to look away.
“So who made the first move?”
“Ezor.”
“What? I’m curious! Look, Acxa and I were friends too, but it was me that got impatient and finally asked her out. There, I shared a bit about us.”
“Uh, well, neither of us made the first move, actually,” Lance replied dazedly, slowly coming back to himself.
“Yeah, we were pretty clueless of each other’s feelings.” Shiro finally had the gall to look at Lance, and it was tinged with a hint of annoyance of all things.
“Yep!” Lance continued chipperly, his next words sharp as knives, “I’m pretty sure Shiro never even noticed I was crushing on him since day one, honestly.”
“Exactly,” Shiro gave him a sharp look, “And I’m pretty sure Lance never even knew I was bi, so there’s that.”
Lance blinked up at him dumbly.
“Wait, no shit? You’re bi?” Lance wasn’t sure why he was so surprised, but he still had to clarify.
“Yes, Lance. I’m bi.” Shiro replied with a tired smile.
“Now boys, communication is key to a healthy relationship,” Ezor chimed in, in a sing-song voice.
“Alright Ezor, I think that’s enough,” Acxa scolded, but her lips were curled in amusement. “Shiro, does this place have plum ice cream?”
“Uh, yes, very good plum ice cream. It’s actually my favorite.” Shiro answered warily, caught off guard by the change of topic.
“Great, you should order yourself some and keep talking. I hear ice cream and feelings go hand in hand.” Ezor smiled, gathering up her purse.
“What she means is, we’ll take our leave now.” Acxa sighed and got to her feet, “Thank you for a nice time. Good luck on your new relationship.”
And with that quick farewell, the girls were gone, leaving the pair flustered and dumbfounded. Lance supposed that now they were meant to sit there and talk about their accidental confessions, like the mature adults they were. Except Lance wasn’t sure he could reliably open his mouth and not immediately stress-puke all over their table. His stomach was doing backflips like it was trying to win the olympics or something. He chanced a glance up at Shiro and was somewhat comforted by the fact that he didn’t seem to be doing so great either. His face was flushed and his hands were fidgeting for something to do.
Suddenly Shiro shifted in his seat, and Lance had a moment of panic thinking he was trying to make a run for it. One, that would be rude and Lance couldn’t afford the bill. Two, that would completely destroy any remaining strands of self-esteem Lance had left, to be literally ditched by his long-time crush because of accidental-maybe-confessions.
But luckily, Shiro didn’t run off. He’d just moved to motion over the waitress, and Lance watched him with a relieved curiousity.
“Hi, yeah, can I get um… four orders of plum ice cream please?”
His voice cracked a bit at the end, but the waitress just smiled and went on her way. Shiro sighed and looked back at Lance, a sudden horror in his eyes.
“Shit, did you want any ice cream? We’re gonna be here a while, you know, to talk about our feelings. And Ezor was right-”
“Ice cream and feelings go hand in hand.” Lance smiled shakily, relaxing into his seat. “Yeah, okay, they got any plain chocolate ice cream here? I’ll need four orders of that too.”
“Four orders of chocolate ice cream, coming up.” Shiro laughed and waved at the waitress again.
Lance smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t end in a total disaster after all.