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The words seemed to stop Kiem breathing. He leant down and kissed Jainan’s neck, so gently it was hardly a pressure. His hand slid lower. “Something like this?”
“Yes,” Jainan said, his eyes closed and his pulse racing as Kiem slid his lips across his neck. “Yes, God’s Heaven, yes.”
Kiem’s answering groan was a prayer and a plea; his fingers, sliding ever so lower, dancing down the length of his cock, the first reverent touch Jainan had ever experienced. They didn’t grip, not yet, just searched. Caressed, languid like a stream running over smooth rocks.
“God’s you feel…” Kiem sighed, his lips moving lower, pressing against his collarbone. Dipping down the center of his chest. Jainan’s hands sifted lazily through Kiem’s hair, enjoying the loose tendrils of sensation. He was aware of the breathy groans coming from Kiem’s mouth—almost as if he was enjoying this as much as Jainan. Which was hard for him to comprehend. With Taam…with Taam, Jainan was either a chore or a disappointment. Not like this. Never like this. Kiem ran his tongue along the curve of Jainan’s ribcage like it was his sole purpose in life.
“You’ve never been silent like this before,” Jainan teased, although it came out more like a moan. Embarrassment flared in him briefly, except Kiem seemed to…seemed to like that sound.
“I’ve never been this enthralled before,” Kiem said, laughing softly. Jainan felt the vibrations along his skin. “Has anyone ever told you how perfect your chest is?”
Jainan heard himself laugh, but Kiem was serious. “This,” he whispered, swirling his tongue around Jainan’s nipple. Sensation, sharp as a knife, sliced through Jainan’s last defenses. This man was going to strip him raw.
“What…” Jainan tried to say, but then Kiem did it again, all while continuing his unhurried exploration of his cock. Like they had all the time in the world which, if Jainan was being honest with himself, they did. The sweet, soft light filtering through the tent; their complete and total isolation; the bright snow falling all around them. They could have been the only two people left on the planet. The universe. The entire galaxy and it would have been enough.
Kiem was enough.
Suddenly, Kiem shifted, gently freeing Jainan from his remaining clothing. It should have been freezing, but he was only aware of the warmth of Kiem’s solid weight. He should have felt too vulnerable—Taam wasn’t a fan of nakedness, especially Jainan’s. But Kiem merely sat back on his heels and swallowed roughly. As Jainan watched in wonder, Kiem reached down and stroked himself as he looked at Jainan.
It was so…it was so erotic…and Jainan didn’t quite know what to do with the shock wave it sent through him.
“Jainan…” Kiem started, looking pained. For a second, he thought he’d done something wrong, but then Kiem reached forward and fully gripped his cock at the base, and he couldn’t stop the low groan that emanated from somewhere deep in his chest. “I want to make you feel good. God’s I…can I?” He asked, and all the respect in the world couldn’t keep Jainan from noticing how beautiful Kiem was in the soft, snowy light. Instead of his trademark smile, his face was a mix of desire and agony; wanting and release.
“Tell me,” Jainan said, pushing himself up on his elbows. “Tell me what’s next.” He still didn’t want to say that he didn’t…he didn’t know what this was—this exquisite give and take.
“What’s next is…” Kiem started, his voice a rough scrape. “What’s next is…I want to put my mouth—” he gripped him tighter— “here. Here. And I want…I want your pleasure. Please,” Kiem said, stroking fully now, and Jainan barely let out a strangled, “Yes,” before Kiem bent down and ran his tongue up the length of him. They both groaned simultaneously—Kiem in total devotion; Jainan in total sensation.
When Kiem took him into his hot, wet mouth, Jainan’s hips surged forward of their own volition. This hunger…this rough need wasn’t new to Jainan, just buried. Far beneath the surface—a place that was dark and empty. So empty. Kiem’s mouth, Kiem’s tongue, was like a burst of energetic light to that dark place, and his hunger became a living, pulsing thing. It emboldened him, made him twine his fingers lightly in Kiem’s hair. Thrust his hips ever so gently in time with Kiem’s ministrations. Which made Kiem grow wild.
Jainan was nearing some precipice he didn’t entirely understand, but he knew he wanted Kiem there too. Only wanted to fall if Kiem came with him. “Can I?” he asked, tracing his fingers over Kiem’s face. His eyes were closed in satisfaction as Jainan’s cock disappeared between his lips over and over.
“Can you what?” Kiem groaned happily, licking him. Sucking the skin of his hipbones, fingers wandering lower and lower, between his legs. Seeking. Jainan’s heart pounded in his ears, like the roar of the ocean.
“Should I…I mean, I want…” Jainan searched for the right words, but he wasn’t sure he had them or even knew them. Blurred, dark images of nights with Taam threatened to fight their way through Jainan’s pleasure, but the smile Kiem gave him blazed through them. Lit up every single nerve ending of his body. He was nothing but flames.
“I want you…” Jainan finally gasped. “Inside. Me. Please,” he begged, and that’s what he was looking for. Because the look that came over Kiem was the only thing that mattered.
Kiem crawled over his body, settling himself between Jainan’s legs, and there was such a sweet satisfaction to wrapping himself around his hips. Kiem’s kiss was rougher than before, just slightly more possessive, but balanced on some edge that made Jainan feel light-headed with arousal.
“I want you too,” Kiem answered, placing his forehead against Jainan’s. “I’ve always…I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you. Desired you, just like this. But I don’t want…I mean, have you done this before?” Kiem asked. His eyes were kind as they searched his. Jainan only let himself close his for a second before opening again.
“Yes. I have. But not like this,” he whispered, suddenly letting his own hands wander down Kiem’s strong back. His trim waist. He gripped Kiem’s ass and found he liked it. A lot. And so did Kiem.
“Remember when I said that thing about losing my mind?” He growled softly, forehead still pressed against Jainan’s. Jainan liked this…this sudden power. He thought about how Kiem had stroked his cock, and when his fingers closed around Kiem in hesitant imitation, the sound he made was the most gratifying thing Jainan had ever heard. He did it again, loving the velvet feel of Kiem against his fingers. Kiem’s breath was coming in short pants, his lips sliding over Jainan’s throat, hands tangled again in his hair. A pleasure like he’d never known suffused his body—the more…aroused Kiem became, the closer Jainan seemed to get to that precipice again. Was this what was next? Was this…?
“I want to fuck you,” Kiem whispered against Jainan’s mouth, and Jainan almost tore their sleeping bag in half. Whatever that hunger was, it was like an animal now, attempting to claw it’s way out. He was aware of the words “yes yes yes” tumbling from his lips. Aware of Kiem readying him, circling the muscle between his ass with his fingers, stretching slightly. There was pain, just a little, but then there was only ecstasy.
Kiem slid inside Jainan so slowly he felt his heart stop. Their eyes were locked together as Kiem found his way, slid deep inside Jainan. Seated himself fully, but didn’t thrust. Not yet. Kiem stroked Jainan’s face, his hair, the curve of his lips.
“Is this okay?” he asked, and Jainan nodded, pleasure stealing his thoughts, which felt so wonderful. It felt so wonderful to not be trapped there, like he so often was. Trapped and alone. Instead, he was a body to be enjoyed, a lover to be pleasured, a man to be taken in the snow by his sweet, smiling, babbling partner.
And then Kiem thrust—thoroughly, but still slowly, and Jainan’s world became nothing but pleasure. He had a vague notion…that Kiem, his husband, his partner, was good at this. Knew how to move his body, angle his hips, so that he was rubbing against some spot inside Jainan that was like an electric wire, sparking up his spine. When Kiem’s hand closed around Jainan’s cock, stroking in time to his thrusts, he couldn’t help but arch his back. Say Kiem’s name on a semi-scream, suddenly unable to care about any of his usual insecurities, no matter how ingrained. He was alive and Kiem kept fucking him, slowly. Kept thanking him, over and over, for the gift of this moment. For the gift of his trust. And Jainan just pressed his lips to Kiem’s; kissed him with every ounce of feeling he had. Passion and fire, their bodies moving together naturally now. A perfect rhythm, as if they’d been lovers for years, as if they were meant to be.
Jainan didn’t so much reach the precipice as hurtle off of it, his orgasm rippling through him for a full minute, intensified by Kiem’s own climax. Kiem groaned his name against Jainan’s neck, briefly scraping his teeth there, which set off another round of sparks in Jainan. Good. So good. Kiem kissed him for a long time afterward—slowly, with no purpose other than just to taste each other.
And before they fell asleep—tangled limbs, wrapped together in their sleeping bag, as snow continued to fall, Kiem stared at Jainan, devoured Jainan, like he was trying to memorize this moment. Which Jainan believed, because this moment had been imprinted on his skin forever. Like a scar, but one of joy instead of pain.
An etching of love in a language only he and Kiem could speak.