Archive of Our Own ^beta

Being in a relationship with Jessica Jones was a lot like being in a relationship with a hurricane. She was a violent force, an unstoppable object on an unpredictable path. She left destruction and chaos in her wake. But there was an immense beauty to her very existence and what she did. Everything that she was, was powerful and she left Matthew in awe most nights. What they had was a blessing, a gift from god that he would forever be thankful for.

He couldn’t actually pinpoint the exact moment they started being a couple. Like most things with her, it had happened within a flurry of events. He could say with certainty that the inciting incident to everything had definitely been his death and then subsequent return though. He started with Foggy, his best friend - and brother - since forever. Foggy had been too thankful to see Matt again to be angry for very long. The pair had hugged before Foggy insisted Matthew explain exactly what had happened. It would be the first of many times he would have to recount the story.

At Matt’s request, Foggy managed to get the rest of the Defenders all in a room together including Claire and Colleen once he had been through his own processing time. When Matt had asked him how, Foggy had insisted he had some pull with the team too. Matthew had a sneaking suspicion that he had actually asked for Claire’s help in arranging it, but he kept that to himself.

His reveal went just about as well as he had expected it to. No one was very impressed with him and his actions - downright stupid is what Claire had called it - but they were all overjoyed to see him alive and well again. It made for a very bittersweet reunion. The group of them stood around him in a semi-circle as he explained his story once again. Having an explanation seemed to help ease the tension in them just a bit. Well, for everyone except Jessica.

Danny had wasted no time rushing over and wrapping him up into a tight embrace. Matthew wasn’t really a big hugger, but he didn’t struggle this time. Danny stepped back with one final clap on Matt’s shoulder, a wide smile on his face. Matthew had assumed he would be the easiest to forgive him and it appeared he was right.

“How’s my city?” Matthew had asked him when the air returned to his lungs.

“Safe. Well, as safe as it can be. I’ve been looking out.” Matthew could accept that, so he smiled and nodded.

Colleen had stepped up along with Danny, though she had given him a bit more distance. Matthew didn’t know her as well as some of the others, but he was just as happy to see her.

“Thank you for sending Danny back to me.” She said with a polite smile. Danny stepped close to her side and wrapped an arm around her waist, practically beaming at her.

Luke was not a hugger and Matthew counted himself lucky on that fact. Claire and him stood as a united front, both giving him disapproving looks. Claire’s was a bit more intimidating if he was being honest, and probably hurt a bit more due to their history. Luke was still very new to him.

He was happy that they were happy, but felt a twinge of sadness when he thought about what he and Claire could have been.

“Are you satisfied yet?” She had asked, her voice cold. He knew she was refencing his martyr complex just as she knew he wasn’t really going to give her an answer to that. And even if he did, it wasn’t going to be one she liked.

“It’s good to see you, man.” Luke interrupted, saving them both. Claire scoffed and shook her head, but she had a slight smile on her face which was a step forward. There was a lot to repair with her, but Matthew had expected that.

“You too.” Matthew said, truly meaning it. He look at each one of them, letting them know that went for the entire group. He had been so reluctant to join them at first, and now he wasn’t quite sure who he would be if he hadn’t.

Everyone’s heartbeats were a little more relaxed now. Danny’s was still elevated with excitement and he could feel the frustration still balling up inside Claire, but overall there was a much better feeling in the room.

Except with Jessica.

Through the whole thing, Jessica stood a few steps back from everyone, hands in her pockets and a deep glower on her face. She made no comments and reacted to nothing. With how still she was being one might assume she was a statue. Matthew knew different. He could feel the anger building up inside her. Nothing he had done so far had worked to calm it. Her heartbeat was elevated beyond anyone else's. He blamed it mostly on the anger, but there was a deep, deep bit of anxiety sending it racing as well. He tried to focus on that, hoping to pinpoint it’s origin as she didn’t seem like she would be forthcoming with any information right now.

The group seemed to wait a moment, giving her time to speak her peace. She simply made an unimpressed sound and looked off into the distance away from all of them. Danny started to chatter again, covering the uncomfortable moment. He was going on about them all working together again, but Matthew honestly couldn’t pay that much attention to it.

Jessica and him had been getting close before he was gone. He would have almost called them friends and he had hoped for more from her upon his return. Anger had been expected for sure. He would have taken a beating from her without saying a word. But this cold dismissal was not what he had foreseen. And it hurt. Jessica had been the most like him on the team - still was, actually - and he had felt a real kinship with her even while she was shutting him down in the police station. There might have been a flicker of something more - attraction maybe - as well, but he hadn’t had the time to dissect and really look into that while dealing with The Hand.

There had also been Electra who had caused a ridiculous amount of confusion and guilt within Matt. His desire to save her - to make things right again - had overridden anything he could have felt for anyone else; friendly or otherwise.

Matthew visibly deflated but only Claire was paying enough attention to him to really notice. She said nothing but did look back and forth between him and Jessica a couple of times.

After a few minutes Claire tapped on Luke’s shoulder - who was still in deep discussion with Danny about their team - and whispered in his ear for a moment. The pair looked at Jessica, who Luke smirked at before shaking his head, and then both of them spoke to Danny. Without being subtle at all they gave their goodbyes to Matt before filing out of the room. Danny turned around to give them both one last look before Colleen practically dragged him out the door. Matthew smiled for a moment at the display, but it soon faded when he looked back towards Jessica.

The empty room had not helped her mood.

They stood at least twelve feet apart, just staring at each other. If looks could kill he was sure Jessica’s would right now. He couldn’t see the exact dept of it - which he was sure was a huge disappointment to her - but he could feel it.

Matthew’s entire universe narrowed in on to her. He knew there were other sounds and smells around him, but he filtered it all out to focus only on her. Someone could cry for help and he doubted he would hear it right now. Everything was Jessica.

He had been well aware that returning to her would be the hardest part, but he hadn’t expected it to be this excruciating. And he assumed it would be more on his part than her’s. Sure, he knew she’d be unimpressed, but this was a whole different level.

“Jessica, I’m…” She practically hissed, cutting him off. Matthew quickly shut his mouth - a wise decision.

“You’re a real jackass, you know that?” She shot back, crossing her arms over her chest. Which yes, he did know that. He had been called it many times. He doubted she wanted a real answer though. Words had been spoken but neither of them moved to close the gap between them. “What sort of idiot lets a building fall on top of him?”

There was so much more to it than just that, which he had a feeling she knew, but hearing it said in such plain terms really did bring into focus what kind of decisions he made in his life. This was why Foggy was on his case so much. “I had to save you all. You had to get out.” There was a little more emphasis on you before Matthew realized what he was doing and tacked on all. He didn’t think she had caught it, which was a blessing. He cared about the team, but right at the forefront of his brain pushing against his decision to stay with Electra, was the desire - no, need - to ensure Jessica got out safely.

“Sounds like a load of shit.” She shot back at him. Matthew stood aghast for a moment, unsure exactly what to say. “You have so much unresolved shit, Murdock. We were the least of your worries.”

He could not believe that she honestly believed that. Of course he had cared. He had seen no other way to save both them and at least attempt to save Electra too. It was his job to protect everyone in his city and if that meant dying for it - so be it.

“You would know.” He countered, feeling a little defensive now. Jessica was the queen of unresolved shit and they both knew it. It was why she picked up so well on his right from the start.

It had been the wrong thing to say. He had known that before the words came out, but he could be just as defensive as her. A rush of new anger washed through Jessica. “Fuck you.” She spat, her words almost venomous they stung so much. Jessica turned around and went for the door the other Defenders had just recently exited from. After two steps Matthew sprung into action, realizing his fatal error. Now was not the time to antagonize Jessica if he wanted this to be better.

He was quicker than her and managed to grab her arm before she got too close to the door. He didn’t tug hard, but he did stop her stride for a moment. “Jessica, please. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would care this much. It was for everyone.”

Jessica ripped her arm from his grasp but didn’t move again, which was good. “What the hell did I say about touching…” She trailed off, having clued into what he just said. “How fucking heartless do you think I am, asshole?” She questioned.

He was screwing this up so badly. Matthew had never been good at explaining himself when it came to these types of things. Just look at his track record with Foggy and Karen. He could feel the anxiety building inside of him but he pushed hard to remain calm. It wouldn’t help him here to seem panicked. “No. Shit, Jessica. That’s not….please.” Matthew Murdock didn’t stutter, but help him he could not get the right words out right now.

She was staring at him with those cold eyes and that wasn’t helping. He tried to breath deeply, reminding himself that she hadn’t tried to leave again. Yet. That was good. She wanted to hear him, even if she didn’t want to admit it. “It was stupid.” He finally admitted, which pleased her ever so slightly. Not enough for him to think this was all over, but it was a good start.

“I mourned for you. We all did. Buried an empty casket because you couldn’t let her, or your desire to be the biggest martyr in history go.” Matthew knew what it was like to bury someone close to you, and he felt bad about doing that to them.

It was stupid, he could say that. But he didn’t regret doing what he could for his city. For the team. For Electra. For Jessica. He took another step closer from where she had pulled away and reached for her arm. This time she let him gently grasp it. His touch didn’t dig in, but it held the weight of him using her for grounding. “Please. Let me make it up to you. I’ll make this better. Whatever you want.” He had penance to pay to her, and he was more than willing. Whatever it took, he would do.

Jessica was silent for a moments as she considered that. If she was even thinking about it he was going to take it as a win. “Fine.” She finally agreed, causing a surge of happiness to warm Matthew’s body. He didn’t know what had made her agree, and he didn’t really care. It probably meant a lot of work for him to keep his promise of ‘whatever she wanted’, but he’d do it. All of it. He had sinned and she would be his saviour. The other’s had let him off far too easy, he knew that. Jessica would never allow such a thing.

Her anger had lessened, but her heartbeat was still highly elevated and anxiety bubbled just beneath the surface. He doubted trying to dig into it right now would be appreciated, so he took what he could. “Don’t think it’ll be easy to make this up.” She added on, sounding a bit more amused than irritated now.

“Of course not.” He agreed, giving her a light smile.

Thus began Matthew’s quest to make up his actions to Jessica Jones. When he had died Foggy had closed Nelson & Murdock for good and had gone to work for Hogarth, Chao, and Benowitz - where he was doing extremely well for himself. He agreed to take Matthew on as an assistant on some cases for now, but that still left him with a lot of free time during the day. Despite his desire to start helping his city again, Matthew knew it was best to not have Daredevil and Matthew Murdock return at the same time, so that left him with free nights too.

Jessica had no problem filling up as much of that time as possible.

It started with menial tasks at first which he assumed was her just testing the water. He brought her a liquor bottle or two when she asked and stuck around to sweep up her kitchen floor. He didn’t comment on the fact that the rest of her home still seemed to be a mess, knowing that really wasn’t the point. She just wanted to see if he’d do it. He’d done a terrible job though, just to remind her that he wasn’t an empty doll in all this.

“The floor looks like shit, Matt.” She commented when he had leaned the broom up against the wall to signal his completion of the task.

“How would I know, Jessica? I can’t see the dirt.” He had given her his best innocent grin which had earned him a long sigh in return. He could tell she was amused though, and she didn’t give him a cleaning task again.

She did however request he do a load of laundry for her when she insisted she was busy researching for a case. Matthew agreed and took it down to her building’s laundry room. She sat with him, her laptop sitting on her knees as she typed. That too was quickly stopped when he held up a pair of silky panties with a shit eating grin.

“You like silk, huh?” He asked, showing her what he had found before tossing them in. He had no intentions of holding on to them for long. He was an asshole, but not a creep. The temperature of Jessica’s skin had gone up several degrees signaling blushing, and her heart rate skyrocketed. She shut her laptop with more force than necessary and stomped over to him.

“You are literally the worst person ever.” She had told him before taking the basket away from him. She dumped the entire thing into the machine without separating anything and turned it on. The machine chugged to life and started to wash, making some very concerning noises in the process.

“I was just trying to separate your clothes!” He countered, hands up in a defensive position. “How was I supposed to know what was in there? I can’t see, Jessica!” He started to laugh at the ridiculous situation. After a beat she gave a single snort, which he counted as a laugh.

“How often you going to use that excuse, Murdock?” She returned to her seat, pulling the laptop back to her legs and opening it up.

Matthew shrugged and leaned against the machine, smiling over at her. He gave no answer. She didn’t really expect one anyways.

There were no more chores whatsoever after that.

That didn’t mean her requests stopped completely. She always seemed to find some use for him. He was pretty sure she just liked having him around - the elevated mood when he was with her and the quicker heartbeat gave that away - and he was more than happy to have her at his side as well. If continuing to play angry with him made it easier for her, then so be it. He knew Jessica wasn’t good with emotions and even less so with communicating them.

Claire and Luke had stopped by Alias Investigations one evening to check on them - and convey that Danny was still desperate to have the team back together. Matthew still wasn’t comfortable putting the suit back on and Jessica just snapped out a quick, “No.”

He watched silently as Luke and Jessica laughed across the room. She was leaning against her desk and her entire demeanor was easy. She was even smiling. Matthew felt an ugly bit of jealously bubbly up, and he felt angry at himself for it. Jessica didn’t keep a lot of close friends. This was a good thing. And yet his brain reminded him on repeat that Luke had been better for Claire - so much better - so why not for Jessica too? And Luke and Jessica had some sort of history that spanned much farther than Matt’s. She didn’t fully relax around him like that. She used him for chores, that was his purpose.

Claire had come to stand beside him during his negative spiral. She watched Luke and Jessica for a few moments before turning to study him. Whatever she found, it amused her.

“Still ‘making it up?’” She asked him, and he was sure she used real air quotes even though he wasn’t focusing his attention on her.

“Yeah.” He might have sounded a bit bitter at that exact moment, because Claire chuckled at him. He really didn’t mind doing all this for Jessica - it had been his idea after all - but that was really hard to remember at this exact moment.

“You know…” She paused, placing one hand on Matthew’s arm. That made him turn and give her his full attention. “If you’re around doing stupid tasks, you’re not out doing something stupid and sacrificial. Jessica can keep an eye on you like this. Make sure you’re still here.”

Oh. Oh. Matthew looked back over towards Jessica, who was now staring towards them while Luke spoke. Jessica was still...worried. Worried that he wasn’t really back. Worried he was going to die again. The little bursts of anxiety inside her made so much more sense. She wasn’t just giving him endless tasks, she was keeping him around.

Matthew kept that in the forefront of his brain from that moment on and found that the little green jealousy monster had been utterly crushed by Claire’s words.

He helped her with case research, brought her takeout when she asked (and when she didn’t), kept her company on stakeouts if there was a reasonable place for him to stay invisible, and carried her things for her. That one happened more and more when they realized it was easiest to do if he held her items in one hand and had his other arm linked with her’s to be led instead of trying to use his cane. Her skin was warm when he touched it and her heart quickened when he was that close. She probably knew he could see that, but they both kept their mouths shut about it. Now was not the time to comment on it.

He was getting more case work from Foggy and Hogarth and so they often spent a lot of time in his apartment. He sat on his sofa going through braille files and she alternated sitting next to him and sitting on the ground just near his legs typing away on her own laptop. Now and again she would get up to pour them both a drink - her’s were always much bigger than his’ - but otherwise they worked undisturbed. It was an incredibly comfortable silence between the two of them - something no one would really expect.

Their time together eventually stopped being because she asked something of him, but just because they naturally came together. They enjoyed each other’s company (even if Jessica wouldn’t admit it).

Things really started to shift one late night at Matthew’s apartment. He had been working on a case for Foggy that was taking him much longer than expected while she watched television on very low volume so as to not disturb him. This was something he had never had to ask for - she had just seemed to know what to do. Jessica was far more considerate than she let on. They hadn’t acknowledged each other for a while, but he could feel the content waves rolling off her as she sat at the end of the couch.

Finally he managed to finish up for the night, announcing his completion by slamming the files down on his coffee table. “Drink?” He offered, standing up from his stagnant position. She was already a little buzzed from what she had brought over earlier and finished, but he knew with her metabolism that would wear off quickly.

“What do you think?” She asked without looking away from the TV. Matthew chuckled and shook his head before wandering into his kitchen to pour them both a glass of Scotch. She drank well while at his house - he didn’t buy cheap - and he always remembered to fill the glass almost to the top.

Matthew returned and stood at her side of the couch to hand the drink over. She accepted it carefully and pulled it in close. She wasted no time taking a generous sip. As he walked by her legs to get back to his side she shot one out, pressing it against his thigh without putting enough force to knock him off balance.

“My feet hurt.” Was her only way of explanation. He knew what the request was immediately, and he smirked.

“I thought I had already made it up to you.” He countered, taking a sip from his glass.

The alcohol was warming her body from the inside, but that wasn’t all that was there. There was something else. Something that might be considered playful. She was feeling particularly brave and he was more than willing to go along with it. The trust she had in him to be like this for even a moment took Matthew’s breath away. This was something she would never let anyone else see.

“Oh, no.” She said, pulling her face into a mock scowl. “Not even close, Murdock.” She pressed her foot against his leg a bit harder, a demand without saying anything.

Matthew played strong for a few moments before giving in. He had his pride, after all. With an unimpressed look he set his glass down on his coffee table and gently dropped his his knees before Jessica’s feet. He picked up the foot she had pressed against his leg and removed the sock. She had delicate feet for such a strong woman. They were pale from the lack of sun they ever saw and very soft. This wasn’t something he had ever done before, but he figured it couldn’t be exceptionally difficult.

She watched him carefully as he started to dig his fingers into the arch of her foot. “Would this make us even?” He asked, looking up from under his lashes as he worked. He knew what that look did, and Jessica was no exception. He could see her heartbeat rise and feel it where he was touching her skin.

“No.” She said, probably trying to sound stern but coming off as a bit breathless instead. Matthew smirked and pressed harder into the ball of her foot. She gasped and spread her toes out, clearly enjoying what he was doing. Well, that was a confidence booster.

“What would?” He asked. He gently tickled the back of her heel, just because. She pulled her foot back and gave him a dirty look before returning it to his grasp. He noted that she hadn’t answered his question, and clearly didn’t plan to.

Finished with the first foot he set it down on the ground and grabbed the second to repeat the process. Jessica’s eyes had fallen closed and she was completely relaxed into his sofa. “What if I begged?” He asked. Jessica’s eyes flew open and her entire body tensed. He kept working until she relaxed again.

“Would you? Doesn’t seem like your style.” Matthew hummed in lieu of giving an answer. She wasn’t wrong - he didn’t really beg and it had been more of a sarcastic comment than a real suggestion. But the way she had responded made things different. He had control here and they both knew it. That was so rare for him which made him want to press this further.

Matthew continued to work for a few moments before settling on an action. He stopped massaging her foot, causing her to focus her full attention on him again. Very slowly Matthew lifted her leg up so her ankle was right near his mouth. “Please?” He breathed out, letting it brush over her skin. There was no response but he could tell he had peaked her interest. He let one hand slide further up her calf over her jeans and looked up from under his lashes again. “I’m begging you, Jess. Forgive me.” Her skin was warm through the denim and he could see each rise of her chest and she took heavy breaths. Her free foot was resting in his lap and he could feel her toes curl against his pants.

Slowly he pushed himself up, dislodging her foot and moving closer towards her. He gently placed down her leg that had been in his hands. “I’m sorry.” He was almost whispering now his voice was so gentle. While being careful not to take away too much space from her he placed one hand on the arm of the sofa and leaned over her. They weren’t touching at all now and there was room for Jessica to move away if it was all too much. “Forgive me.” He begged again now that he was looking right into her eyes.

There was just a few beats of silence between them before Jessica let out a breathy, “Okay.” Matthew felt the triumph run through him immediately. He smirked down at Jessica before pushing back to a full upright position.

“Thank you.” he said in a normal voice, taking a moment to smooth out his shirt. Jessica seemed to be at a loss, which was a new look. He didn’t walk away from many of their head to heads feeling like he’d won, but he knew he’d taken the prize with this one. He picked up his forgotten drink and sat down on the other end of the sofa where he’d started the night.

A few moments later, Jessica finally spoke again. She too, sounded more normal. Which meant irritated. “You’re an asshole, Murdock.” She said, quickly downing the rest of her own drink. Matthew laughed and shrugged.

“Ahh, but I’m a free asshole. No more proving myself. You forgave me.” He sounded a bit smug, but he really couldn’t help it. Jessica grumbled a few insults at her end of the sofa but otherwise said nothing as they both settled in again, returning their attention to the TV that had been playing in the background the whole time. Matthew had honestly forgotten it was on. Jessica tended to do that - block out extra noise. It was one of the reason’s he hadn’t gone insane while he held off from going out as Daredevil.

Things between them shifted a little after that.

It was small changes that she probably didn’t even notice at first. There was always a slight heat from her skin when he walked into the same room as her and her heart rate was almost constantly elevated around him too. There was still snark and insults (he wouldn’t expect anything less) but there was a slightly softer edge to them.

She sat closer to him when they were stretched out on his sofa and initiated more contact. It was nothing groundbreaking - brushing against him when he passed or fixing his collar when he didn’t quite get it right - but even that was a lot for her. He took that as permission to initiate more of his own too.

When they were out together he started using her more instead of his cane, leaning right up against her with his arm tucked in the crook of her’s. He liked being this close to her. It also showed how much trust he had in her, allowing her to lead him along when they were on busy streets. Maybe she didn’t know that yet, but it one day she might. It only took her two times to catch on to what he was doing.

“Your cane broken, or what?” She asked as he linked up with her again.

Matthew smirked and very pointedly kept his glasses covered eyes ahead as they started to walk. “No.” He answered, his tone very amused.

She had given him one of her long suffering sighs in return, which only made his smirk grow. Still, she didn’t push him away. In fact, he felt her arm tighten around his.

It didn’t seem possible but somehow they were spending even more of their time together without overtaking each other’s lives. They parted ways before sleeping still and gave each other enough space to get work done when it was needed. Matt was now officially a pro bono lawyer tackling cases for people who really needed help but didn’t have enough money to seek it. He still took work from Foggy and Hogarth, using that to pay his bills. Jessica continued to do...whatever job of the week came to her. She still turned a lot of people away, but there was usually a new case each week for her.

Gradually, he noticed, the space between them on his sofa continued to lessen and lessen.

It was also around this time that Matthew decided it was time to bring Daredevil back. Jessica was a welcome distraction, but his city needed him and he couldn’t stop the calls from his people from sinking in forever. He had brought it up to her one night while she was drinking and he was pretending to listen to the TV.

“I dug out my suit.” He started. He wasn’t about to ask permission - because he didn’t need it. Whether Jessica agreed with his choices or not, he had to return to his second life. Daredevil called to him. The need had killed him and Karen - and him and Claire if he was being honest - and if it killed whatever this was with Jessica, than that was the cross he would have to bear.

Without missing a beat Jessica had responded, “Fetish convention in town?” She chuckled to herself which encouraged Matthew to glare and let out a heavy sigh. After a moment she turned to give him her full attention. “Don’t get stabbed. I won’t sew you up.” Her words were heavy and she leveled him with what he was sure was a very serious look.

Those words spoke volumes to Matt. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was worried about his wellbeing. That was her version of a good luck or a be careful. She had no intentions of trying to stop him or persuading him to hold off longer - but she did want him to avoid getting hurt.

“Good thing I know a good doctor then.” He countered. He could honestly feel the eyeroll that followed.

“Try and avoid falling buildings too.” She muttered. He decided it was best to not respond to that one.

Hell’s Kitchen was shocked to find out about the return of Daredevil - the criminals most of all.

He went out on his own most of the time, but now and again she joined him when he needed help tracking down someone who was good at hiding. She could find people who didn’t want to be found much quicker than he ever could. And sometimes she requested he join her on cases where she had to get involved with large groups.

“I’m strong, not stupid.” She had said when he pointed out she could literally punch down entire walls. She could still get hurt with her strength and the likelihood of that with bigger groups was high. Besides, he really didn’t mind helping her.

For a while Matthew had no idea what exactly to make of them. They were a lot like a couple in pretty much every way - they didn’t kiss or share a bed - but they did eat more meals together than not (when Jessica ate at all), and now they were even teaming up together. He thought about bringing it up several times, but worried about freaking her out. Jessica was skittish to say the least and him trying to push a label onto them could send her packing. He wasn’t trying to marry her, he just wanted an idea, any idea, of what they were. If he had thought she was confusing before, it was nothing compared to this.

The answer to his many questions came in a way he would have never expected. Which was the way of most things with her.

Danny had practically begged them all to come to a meeting at Rand once news had fully spread that Daredevil was back. They were under no illusions about what it could be for. Danny wanted to try and talk them all into teaming up again. Matthew had assumed Jessica would put it off for as long as possible but to his surprise it only took two days for her to be worn down.

“He’ll just keep calling until we go.” She had said when he expressed his surprise. “I’d rather go and then leave so he shuts up for another couple of months.” It was a fair point, but Matthew could detect the slight lie hidden in her. Oh, she wanted to say no alright and would probably enjoy the face Danny made when she did, but she also wanted to see everyone. Just a little bit.

They went together as they were at Jessica’s place when Danny had called and requested their presence. If Danny was surprised when Jessica told him that he didn’t need to call Matt too because they were in the same room, he hid it well. The pair arrived last, which surprised no one.

“I’m sure as hell not showing up early, Matt.” She had scoffed from her position in her chair when he insisted they should probably get going.

Danny was so excited he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. When Matt and Jessica finally arrived, he launched right in. “I think we should team up again,” He started with, again to no one’s surprise. “Which you two should be willing to do, considering.” He added on, pointing and him and then Jessica. He frowned in confusion and he was sure Jessica was making a similar face.

“What the hell are you talking about?” She had asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

From the table behind where he was standing, Danny produced a thin magazine. He held it up in front of him, which made Matt sigh. Whatever it was, he couldn’t read it but it was making Jessica blush red hot beside him, even if she was scoffing to try and cover it up.

It took a few moments for everyone to clue in that Matthew in fact, couldn’t see it , and clearly Jessica wasn’t going to tell him what it was.

“Jessica Jones and Matthew Murdock, the new Hell’s Kitchen power couple?” Luke read out loud, pretty much laughing by the end of his sentence.

Ahhh, so it was a gossip magazine then. He was sure there was some terrible grainy photos of them walking arm in arm down the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. Jessica Jones was known from her run in with Kilgrave, and Matthew Murdock had put away the great Wilson Fisk. It didn’t happen often, but now and again they caught paparazzi following them. Apparently, they had managed to take some actual pictures.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Danny exclaimed, dropping the magazine back down.

“Since when?” Was Claire’s very quick follow up question. Jessica was growing incredibly uncomfortable beside him, and he opened his mouth to explain it was all a misunderstanding.

“It’s none of your goddamned business. Just because a magazine prints it doesn’t mean I have to tell you.” Jessica snapped out before he could say anything.

The room went eerily silent. Matthew could hear each breath every one of them took as they processed what she had just said. Matthew turned to stare at her. She hadn’t contradicted it. Jessica was not one to let false things be spread about her, and yet she had simply told them to not ask questions, not that it was fake. Matthew was afraid to be too excited about this, but he could feel his heartbeat quickening. Did Jessica consider them a couple already?

“So...it’s true?” Colleen finally asked, breaking the tense silence.

Jessica shrugged and looked at a wall to her right, very much away from everyone else. “Yeah. Whatever. Stop asking.”

Matthew couldn’t stop the huge grin that spread across his face. They were a couple. Jessica had never needed any definition or a serious talk, she just considered them together. It was a bit unorthodox and Matthew felt like he was being swept up a bit, but he couldn’t say he was unhappy about it. He’d have to bring up discussing huge things like this with him eventually - but for now they were good.

“I hope they got a flattering picture, at least.” Matthew commented, breaking the tension. The group laughed, except for Jessica, But she did relax her tense muscles at his side. Very inconspicuously, he moved a step closer to her.

“So, does this mean we get to team up again?” Danny asked, bringing it all back to his original topic.

“You wish.” Jessica said, shaking her head.

It was when they were settled back at his place, her practically right up against his side with his arm stretched across the back of the sofa that he finally asked what he had been thinking since their run in with the other Defenders. “So. We’re you ever going to tell me I was part of a couple?” his voice was amused and his smile was warm.

Jessica shrugged and dug herself further into his side. “Probably.” She said, leaving it at that.

Matthew laughed and let it drop. He brought his hand to the back of her head to play with the strands of hair there while she watched tv. A couple. They were a couple.

He was well within the storm before he even realized it was raining.

Things between him and Jessica were not perfect, and he sincerely doubted they ever would be. There was beauty in their imperfections, and he liked to think they made each other just a little bit stronger. He knew she certainly did for him, but he had yet to find what he did for her. Something for sure, or he doubted she would have stuck around this long.

From the outside in, things appeared very similar. They still spent a decent portion of their time together. It was slightly less recently - he was going out more and she had taken a couple of intensive cases. They didn’t do anything different when they were together, most often than not it was just him eating and making sure she had some solids with her liquids. They still didn’t spend the night and they didn’t get much closer than her resting against his side on the sofa some nights.

But Matthew could feel the difference.

Jessica was less guarded around him most of the time. Her edges were a bit softer and she gave him easy looks instead of glares. (Although, there were definitely still glares.) They talked a lot more about themselves, but knew what things were still off limits. Matthew had no interest in getting into his past with Electra and he knew that anything to do with Kilgrave would cause her to shut down right away. Maybe one day they would be there, but that was far off. They continued to go out as a duo now and again when she was in the mood, but she still refused to work with The Defenders as a team.

“Why?” Matthew had questioned one night when Danny had texted them both, asking again. Jessica had scoffed and dropped her phone down on the sofa beside her.

She didn’t need any further explanation. She knew what he was asking. “I don’t like teams.” She responded. She followed that with a long pull from the drink he had made her earlier.

“You work with me.” He pointed out, still amused by her reluctance to let Luke and Danny in any more.

“That’s not a team. It’s a pair.” She said in a ‘don’t you know that already, stupid?’ kind of voice. Matt huffed and jostled her shoulder. “I’m fine like this.” She added on, and that made him smile.

He was fine like this too.

The first time Jessica stayed at his apartment overnight had been several weeks after Matthew discovered they were even together. It wasn’t something either of them actively brought up. She always said goodbye at the end of the night, and Matthew wasn’t going to push for it. There were still a lot of boundaries with them, and he respected that.

She had been working on a case down at the other end of the sofa, her brow furrowed in concentration. Matthew had tried to offer his help a couple times but had only received grunts in return. She wasn’t really paying attention to him, which was fine. They both could get like this when they worked. After a couple hours he could feel her getting more and more frustrated at whatever she couldn’t find. Finally after another ten minutes she slammed her laptop shut so hard he was surprised it didn’t break and put it down on his coffee much less gently than what was ideal.

“Bad case?” He had asked, earning him a half amused huff.

“Understatement.” She responded as she picked up the bottle of Whiskey she had brought with her but hadn’t touched so far. He could tell this case was doing a number on her. She was over exhausted and more frustrated that he had seen her in a long while. She hadn’t shared any details with him yet, but it had to be bad. He let her have her few moments of quiet, nursing her drink while he watched her from the other end of the couch. Eventually the silence and alcohol coaxed her into sleep. Her body went limp and she slumped down further into the sofa. Matthew couldn’t help but smile. How long ago would she have absolutely refused to be this vulnerable around him?

Matthew moved the bottle to the table to keep it from spilling but otherwise left her to sleep as he opened his own laptop without making a sound.

She ended up sleeping for a couple of hours - leaving her at his house much later than normal. She awoke with a start, her whole body tensing up until she remembered where she was.

“Fuck…Late” She said, her voice groggy with sleep. He watched her rub her eyes and try to pull herself into a standing position to leave.

“You could stay here. If you want.” Matthew offered, trying to sound as casual as possible. Jessica turned and faced him, considering his idea. It made her a little anxious, but mostly he could just see the excitement about getting to go right back to sleep without a trip outside. “I’ll sleep on the sofa, if that helps.”

That seemed to lock her decision in place. She scoffed and shook her head. “Let’s go” She said, nodding towards his bedroom. Matthew shut his computer and practically leapt up, not wanting to risk her changing her mind if he was slow. The pair of them went to his bedroom where they undressed down to just underwear. More than anything Matthew wished he could actually see her right then. He had to consider the fact that perhaps this worked so well for them because he couldn’t see her, though.

Jessica slid into his sheets first and let out a long, happy groan. “Holy shit, Matt. These are the best fucking sheets I’ve ever touched.”

Matthew couldn’t help but laugh at her excitement. “My skin is sensitive.” He gave in way of an explanation as he climbed in after her.

“Lucky me you’re such a snob.” She stretched out in his bedding, making herself comfortable. As Matthew settled in as well she moved closer, entwining their legs together but keeping a bit of distance between their torsos. “Thanks.” She said quietly, once they had both settled.

Matthew nodded, not wanting to break the serene spell they had going now. He lay there watching Jessica’s face long after her eyes had fluttered closed and she was asleep once again. She snored, and already was trying to take up most of the space in his bed, but it was perfect.

Once again he felt a wave of thankfulness that they were here. That she was in his life at all and had forgiven him. He knew she didn’t do that easily, and yet she had let him put in the effort to make it up to her.

His decision to sacrifice himself had brought him to this moment, so as dumb as it had been he couldn’t truly dislike what he had done.

It took a long time for Matthew to follow her into sleep. He awoke with her stretched across most of the bed and hoarding all of the covers, but it was the best morning he had woken to in a long time.

After that, Jessica was more than happy to use his bed whenever she felt like it. Literally. She would crash in it late at night while he was still working and stay in it long past when he had woken up.

One night when he returned from patrolling he found her stretched out in his sheets, which had been very empty when he left. He could tell she had awoken when he climbed into the apartment.

“I don’t remember letting you in.” He said as he pulled off his mask, his tone amused.

“You didn’t. Locksmith is coming tomorrow.” Matthew sighed and shook his head before stripping off the rest of his suit. “Your bed is comfy. I sleep better.”

Matthew paused on his way to deposit the suit into his locked box. That was a huge emotional admittance for Jessica, and it really struck him how much trust she had in him to even tell him that, and to feel more comfortable in his bed. He did that for her. Well, him and the expensive sheets.

He couldn’t find it in himself to be irritated about the broken lock now.

He did make sure to get a copy of his key made when it was changed and give it to her that same night. He didn’t need a broken lock every time he came home.

Their first real fight came because Matthew was trying to be sweet and Jessica was terrible at communication. They had had little arguments and disagreements already - almost daily, actually - as they were both argumentative people with a habit for being right, but it hadn’t been anything that made Matthew worry about what they had before.

He hadn’t been thinking and came up behind Jessica while she was in his kitchen making some actual food. It was ramen, but with her habits he counted it. He moved quietly, so she hadn’t heard him yet. With a warm smile on his face he wrapped his arms around her torso and pulled her back against his chest. Immediately, he knew something was wrong. Jessica’s entire body locked up and she dropped the spoon she was holding. Within a second she had broken his hold and elbowed him so hard he had been forced to step back several paces.

He was shocked at first and ready to be angry, but it registered that Jessica was showing all the signs of a panic attack. Her anxiety was high, heart rate was off the charts, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Anger completely forgotten, he stepped towards her, one hand outstretched. “Jess..” He called her name, but she didn’t turn to look at him. She repeated street names to herself, which Matthew had heard her do once or twice before. It didn’t seem to be working. He took another step which seemed to spur her into action. She was a ball of pure nervous energy and without even looking at him she shoved past and ran across his apartment to let herself out the front door.

Matt was left standing alone in his kitchen, Jessica’s pot of noodles boiling over on his stove. He wasn’t totally sure what he had just done wrong. He’d touched her waist, but that wasn’t new. She had been so frightened. He’d not seen her like that….ever. She’d been anxious before, but never to the point of fleeing.

Matthew reached out and turned off the stove finally. He moved the pot over to a cold element, settling the water. He really wasn’t quite sure what to do at this point. Obviously going after Jessica right now wouldn’t help. She needed time and space to calm down. Hopefully when she did, she’d come back and talk to him.

That just meant he’d have to keep himself busy until she did, which was hard when all he could do was worry about what state she was in. Work seemed the easiest thing to distract himself with, so he pulled out a bunch of his files and his laptop to work at the bar in his kitchen.

Surprisingly, Matthew managed to get a decent amount of his work done despite the situation. Was it the best work he had ever done? Probably not. But it was better than what he had expected from himself with that was going on. Work was important, and he recognized that. Still, his mind drifted off to Jessica a few times, and he checked his phone far more times than he usually did. It was impossible for him to miss a call or text, but still. What if he had?

He waited and waited, but by ten in the evening he still hadn’t heard anything from Jessica. Now he could honestly say he was a little bit worried. She had been extremely upset when she left - so perhaps something had happened on her way home?

Or perhaps she was just so upset with him she was refusing to speak to him whatsoever.

Matthew debated the two for a good ten minutes before deciding to just finally give her a call. He sat patiently as the phone rang in his ear, each second dragging out like minutes. He honestly didn’t know what he was going to say if she picked up but it was important she did so. The phone line clicked and Matthew waited her her to say hello - and instead got her voicemail message. He let out a breath of air as her recorded voice told him very clearly not to leave a message. The phone beeped letting him know it was time to record.

“Hey, Jess. Just wanted to see how you were. Sorry about what happened earlier. I think we should probably talk about it.” He hung up, cutting himself off before he could say anything he really hated. That was already bad enough. He wasn’t whining, but he couldn’t help but feel a little desperate.

Twenty minutes went by. No call. Matthew busied himself by cleaning up his already spotless apartment. Forty minutes went by. No call. Matthew cleaned out his already sparse fridge and then took out the garbage. An hour went by. No call. Matthew changed his sheets as slowly as possible.

Two hours later and still he had heard nothing from Jessica. At this point there was literally no surface left in his house to clean and no work to do. The only thing that could keep him busy at this point would be to put on his suit and go out. Maybe dealing with some of the scum in his city would help him relieve some of this stress too.

He changed quickly and made sure his front door was locked (she had a key if she showed up) before heading out through his window and up the fire escape. It was a pretty low level night for Hell’s Kitchen but Matt could hear sounds of someone breaking into a home a few blocks over so he lept off to take care of that.

A few hours and several criminals later he was feeling slightly better. Taking care of his city was a strange relaxant for him, even if he took a few punches while doing it. Figuring he was feeling good enough to go home for the night Matt started to head back. It was on the path to his apartment he landed on the roof of a bar and immediately heard her laugh.

Jessica was in this bar. Matthew froze, not quite sure what to do with this information. He honestly hadn’t been looking for her, so he shouldn’t feel like a creep. Except, he slightly did. Because now he was focusing hard and he could hear not just her, but Luke Cage as well. They were drinking in the bar - Jessica significantly more intoxicated than him - and she was talking to him like there was nothing at all wrong in the world. Matthew grit his teeth and dug his fingers into the cement he had been holding on to. There was no give and he couldn’t help but think that if he had been her, the cement would be crumbling beneath his fingers.

Matt really wasn’t sure what to do at this point. He couldn’t go in there in his suit for very obvious reasons, and he didn’t carry other clothing with him. And what if she just took off again if he tried? He had literally just spent his night beating up criminals and yet one woman made him feel so powerless.

Stick would not be proud of him.

Finally Matthew came to the exciting conclusion to just sit and wait. He did anything he could to tune out their conversation without fully blocking them so he’d know if they left. They continued on for a while, and he could feel himself growing restless. Maybe this hadn’t been the best course of action.

Just as he was talking himself into leaving and dealing with all this another time, Luke suggested paying out their tab and leaving for the night. Jessica was reluctant, but agreed in the end. The pair paid for their drinks and exited without much fanfare. Matthew lept down into the alley they would pass by and waited until they did.

“Luke. Jessica.” He greeted, startling both of them. His voice was tight and had a bit more jealousy in it then he would have liked. Jessica jumped and looked ready to punch whoever had startled her. Luke just looked unimpressed. Clearly the tone in Matthew’s voice had not gotten past the man.

“Oh great. It’s the Devil. Have you made you peace with god yet, Luke?” She said when she had relaxed a bit. Luke chuckled and looked at the pair of them.

“I suddenly have a lot of things to do that aren’t here. I’ll tell Claire you said hello.” He clapped Jessica on the shoulder and nodded at Matt before leaving them both where they stood.

Matthew waved his hand into the alley, silently asking her to step in with him. She looked like she was going to decline and walk away from him, but with a long sigh she finally did as he requested. The two stepped further into the alley and out of sight.

“Listen, I got a bottle of whiskey with my name on it at home, so if we could make this quick.” She was acting tough, but Matthew could she the growing anxiety and stress inside of her. He hated that he was making her feel like that.

“Having fun?” He asked, which really was probably the worst route he could have taken. Jessica scoffed at him, confirming that.

“You got a problem, man? Last I checked, Daredevil doesn’t police people out drinking.” Jessica crossed her arms over her chest, taking a defensive stance.

“You didn’t answer my call.” He stated. This was a ridiculous conversation to be having while one of them was in a devil suit, but he couldn’t risk not having it now and then never having it.

“Busy.” She responded. He could see the lie and they both knew it.

He had to stop making this worse. Jessica didn’t do well under pressure and she even worse when she was cornered. And he was letting his dumb emotions do that when what he really needed to do was deal with what happened earlier. He took a deep breath, calming himself.

“I’m sorry.” He said, hoping she wasn’t just going to take off. She was still standing there, but didn’t seem any less anxious. He could tell it had surprised her that he had given an apology instead of continuing to grill her. “About now. And earlier. I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t mean to freak out you.”

She continued to stand there silently and Matthew felt the need to fill the silence. “Just...talk to me. For five minutes. I know that’s not exactly our strength, but I think it’s pretty necessary right now.”

That earned him a small chuckle, which was progress.

But still, no explanation came forth. She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, completely closed off from him. She chewed at her bottom lip, clearly deliberating on what, and how much, she should say. She wasn’t happy about this situation and she really wasn’t happy he was making her talk about it.

“You can’t just….fuck.” She started, before cutting herself off again. Matthew knew better than to interrupt. She was trying, and he would give her all the time she needed. He could feel her heart rate beating faster and faster. “You can’t just fucking touch me from behind like that.” She finally blurted out.

Matt blinked behind his mask. That had definitely not been what he expected. “You don’t like physical contact?” He asked, sounding confused but not judgemental. If that’s what she prefered, he would respect that. But it hadn’t seemed that way before.

“No!” She snapped at him. “That’s not…” She sighed and looked towards the sky, as if praying for help to get through this. Matthew was tempted to do the same. “You can touch me. I just..couldn’t see you.” She tapped her fingers on her leather jacket a few times, finding the strength to go on. Her next words came out so fast he wasn’t totally sure they weren’t all one word. “Kilgrave used to just put his hands on me whenever he wanted and I couldn’t see you and it just made me think of that I just need to be able to see you.”

She took a deep breath, steadying herself at the end. That had been hard for her, but he could tell she felt a little bit better now that it was out there.

“Why didn’t you just tell me that earlier?” He asked.

She shrugged in response and uncrossed her arms only to shove them into her pockets. “I don’t do….talking well. About anything. And I don’t like doing the whole panicking thing in front of people. This is still weird for me, dude.”

Matthew couldn’t help but chuckle at being called dude during a serious conversation. She really kept him on his toes. “I am sorry, Jessica.” He said again, stepping a little more into her space. “I’ll be more careful.” She nodded, accepting that.

The tension that had built up in her body wasn’t completely gone, but it was at a much less concerning level.

Now that their original problem was dealt with, Matthew couldn’t stop himself from blurting out the next quesiton. “You spend a lot of time here with Luke?” He asked, trying to keep his voice as casual as possible. Jessica smirked which told him he had failed.

“You got a problem, Devilboy?” Now that she had the upperhand it was like a switch had been flipped. She stepped into Matthew’s space, forcing him to take a step back towards the wall on the other side. She did it again and he hit the wall with his back. “Little bit of jealously peeking through that costume of yours?”

Matthew huffed and shook his head. “It’s not a costume. It’s armor.” He corrected. Her smirk only grew. “I was just curious. You seemed to want to be on your own earlier.”

Jessica hummed and placed a hand on the wall beside Matthew’s head. She was just inches from him. This was a dangerous position to be in while he was Daredevil, but neither of them did anything about it. “I did. And I was. Until Luke found me and insisted he had to stay with me ‘for the protection of the bar’.” He could practically feel her eye roll, which made him smile. She pushed herself up onto her toes, making their faces level. He could feel her breath on the small exposed part of his face.

“Besides.” She couldn’t possibly get any closer to him without actually kissing him and all of Matthew’s nerves were on fire. “I got a hot lawyer waiting for me at his apartment. I’d better not keep him waiting any longer.” She laughed and pushed herself away, leaving Matthew to be greeted by the cold air again. “See you later, Beelzebub.” She called as she walked out of the alley. As soon as Matthew’s brain restarted he climbed up the fire escape to the rooftops where he raced her back home.

They both arrived within moments of each other, panting. Jessica was almost wild and Matthew wasn’t doing much better.

He made his full and detailed apology to her that night.

Two days later the pair was at a greasy diner enjoying brunch after a particularly good lie-in following Jessica’s win of her most recent case. It was rare they were out this early, but Matt had been craving some pancakes and neither of them had felt like cooking.

“Think they’ll leave the coffee pot here if I ask?” Jessica had questioned as soon as they sat down, face already buried in her menu. Matthew laughed and shook his head.

Their waitress came over and poured them both some coffee. Matthew frequented this particular diner, so he knew her well. She was soft and gentle as she poured his cup but her mood changed the instant she turned towards Jessica. No one needed his superpowers to see she wasn’t impressed. The waitress - Julia - slammed Jessica’s cup down and poured her coffee as if the liquid had personally offended her. She stayed behind to give Jessica a final glare before taking off to the next table.

Both of them sat there in silence, unsure what to do.

“Have you...been here before?” Matthew finally asked, pulling his cup towards himself.

“Nope. At least, not that I can remember.” Jessica just stared at her own, trying to puzzle out what had just happened. “I’m pretty sure only bartenders hate me like that.”

Matthew chuckled and folded his hands together on the table. “Well, something happened. I’ve never seen her less than pleasant.”

Their answer came when Julia returned to take their orders. She held a magazine in her hand and was fuming now. “I think it’s real awful, what you’re doing.” She started before either of them could ask for their food. Now they were both even more confused. “Matt doesn’t deserve this.”

Matthew frowned and he was sure Jessica was making a similar face. “What the hell are you talking about?” Jessica finally asked in her typical defensive manor.

Julia scoffed as if it was impossible for Jessica to not know and slammed the magazine down in front of them. Knowing he couldn’t read it Jessica picked it up and scanned the cover.

He did not expect the burst of pure, unfiltered laughter that burst forth from her. Apparently, neither did Julia. The waitress stood there stunned as Jessica laughed and laughed, the magazine crinkling a bit in her hands. The other patrons were staring now, but she didn’t seem to care.

“Holy shit. I’m keeping this!” She said, bringing the magazine in closer. Julia just nodded, her anger still there but the confusion taking over enough for her to walk away and leave them both alone.

Finally Matt asked, “What is it, Jess?” When no explanation came forth he tappefd his fingers on the table in impatience. She continued to laugh, uninterested in his irritation.

Jessica took a few deep breaths and held the magazine up as she read from it in a fake announcer’s voice. “Jessica Jones cheats on new boyfriend Matthew Murdock with teammate, The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.” She snickered some more before reading the subheader. “He couldn’t even see it coming!” That made a new round of laughter burst forth. She dropped her head to the table, the cups clinking against the surface as she did so. “There’s a picture from the other night when I was in the alley with Daredevil.”

Matthew sat there literally shocked. Someone had been close enough to take a picture and neither of them had noticed. This could have gone so much worse. Matthew said a silent prayer that no one had tried to make the connection. Despite his worry, he couldn’t help but also see the humor with their situation.

“I can’t believe you’re cheating on me.” She said in a fake scolding tone. Jessica lifted her head and leaned back in her seat, her legs stretching out under the table to rest between his.

“Think they’re so outraged because you’re blind?” She asked. “Couldn’t even see it coming.” She started to snicker again as she repeated the header.

“Please just throw it out.” He said with a sigh, pulling his coffee towards him.

“Not a chance.” She said in a tone that begged no questioning.

And oh, did she mean it. That night a framed copy of the gossip magazine was up in her apartment. He could sense it whenever he stepped in, and he just wished she would take it down.

No amount of begging and pleading would convince her to do it.

Nor did it convince her to leave it behind when she finally moved in with him. It hung in his entrance hallway, a greeting to all who came.

Jessica was a hurricane that had swept him up, pulling him around with her changing moods. But she was also a sunny day that warmed and calmed him. She settled him when he didn’t think it was possible and worked him up when she really shouldn’t. They weren’t perfect, but they were good.

And they were happy.