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Hello all!
It"s been a long time coming, and I just first wanted to say thank you to everyone who loved and supported this fic, to all the people that gave kudos and continued to comment even though it had been years since I updated. I apologize that it"s taken me this long to finally give an official update.
To everyone who has been asking and caring, I am doing well physically and mentally! Thank you so, so much for constantly leaving kind messages for me, and I promise I"ve read all of them even if I did not respond to some.
As for the future of this fic, I think I"m finally going to put down the mantle today and say it honestly: this fic will not be finished.
The reason why I kept on holding off on writing an author"s note to state this was because at the beginning of this project, I had promised my readers that I would never abandon this fic. But as the months passed, I grew further away from the fandom and further away from the person I was when I started this fic. I still love BTS and the beautiful people in the fandom, but when I started this fic in high school, I was in a bad place mentally, and BTS and their music had been my lifeline to support me through depression. I wrote a lot of myself into the pain and love I tried to express through this fic.
Now, I"ve been mentally stable and healthy for a good couple of years, and I"m no longer as deep in the BTS fandom as I was before. I kept holding off declaring a hiatus or deciding to abandon the fic for several reasons. The main one was that was that I felt unbearably guilty for breaking the promise that the fic would be finished, and I felt obligated to uphold a promise. The second was that I kept telling myself that I would write it, I would write it...but I got only as far as half a chapter and never picked it up again. I had no motivation, and to be honest, I felt stressed at even the idea of opening the document. Some commenters had pointed out age and consent issues that I too realized were problematic, not to mention plot holes that I had realized myself. The idea of going back through a 40-50 page doc to rewrite things stressed me even more.
So if you"re still here and reading, I just wanted to say I"m so sorry for breaking my promise. I might one day post some notes/outline of what I had planned for the rest of the story, but please do not hold any expectations for this to happen. I don"t want to promise another thing without delivering again.
Finally, I just want to say again: thank you so, so much for everyone who supported me and this fic! Especially thank you to those who kept prompting me to do right by my readers and let you guys know what"s going on. I feel much lighter now.
I hope everyone stays healthy and happy in mind and body, and take care!
<3