Work Text:
1. Endeavor’s Hero Agency
Bakugou hasn't slept in 35 hours, and it's really starting to take a toll on his sensibility.
“That’s- goddammit, Deku, you spelled your name wrong again,” he mumbles, pushing Deku’s forms back across the desk. His own paperwork seems to ripple in front of him before the room stops spinning again. Fuck.
“Did I?” Deku squints at the piece of paper upside-down for a second before he shakes himself out of it and turns it the right way. “Oh, you’re right. Sorry, I just don’t- uh, wait.” He scribbles out his last name and painstakingly rewrites it, correctly this time. “Wow. Words are hard,” he mutters under his breath.
“Words hard, punches easy,” Bakugou agrees, shoving his current paper to the finished stack and blearily taking hold of the next blank form. He’s so tired that he’d be falling asleep sitting up here, were it not for how hard he’s gripping his pen. It feels like it might burst at any moment, but it’s also the only thing keeping him vertically oriented right now.
“What day was this? Yesterday yesterday, or today yesterday?” Deku asks, mostly to himself. He glances at the calendar, and Bakugou can tell he’s trying to make sense of the boxes and numbers staring impassively back at him.
“The 23rd. Probably.”
They fall silent again, both barely holding onto consciousness, when someone coughs and someone else announces, “Deku-san! You have a visitor!”
Both of them turn drowsily toward the door, where a familiar figure stands. He waves before approaching them (mostly approaching Deku more than anything).
“Oh! Todoroki-kun!” Deku is entranced by half-and-half’s sudden appearance; the sleep deprivation makes his usual mushy eyes even worse. He looks like he would follow Todoroki right off a cliff without hesitation.
“Midoriya, you seem...tired,” Todoroki says, lifting a hand to cup Deku’s cheek to look over him. Deku laughs shrilly because his grasp on reality is starting to slip. Even Todoroki looks concerned enough to turn to Bakugou, but then he makes a sudden noise, sounding worried when he comments, “So do you, Bakugou. You both look kind of- no, extremely bad.”
“Ouch,” Deku says while Bakugou opts for flipping Todoroki off.
“Get out of my office,” he says automatically, and Deku shoots him an amused look from where he's swaying in his chair.
“Kacchan, we're at my place right now.”
Bakugou pauses with his pen pressed into his paperwork, noticing for the first time just how dry and heavy his eyes are. In his periphery he recognizes Deku’s shitty sense of interior design, and that one sidekick who's always ready with the teapot. “Goddamnit.” He had forgotten that they’d already passed off the bulk of their forms to Deku’s staff. The nice thing about finally finishing a long-term case is that most of Deku’s people know enough about the details to help them with the paperwork. Unfortunately, only those involved with yesterday’s sting can actually attest to what happened then, so he and Deku are trapped here until they can turn everything over to the police.
“What brings you here so early, Todoroki-kun? I’m going to be tied up for a little longer,” Deku says apologetically as Todoroki kisses his temple before removing his hand.
“I just wanted to know why you two got blacklisted from my father’s hero agency,” Todoroki says, pulling up a chair to sit with them.
“Blacklisted? Us?” Deku asks, confused by this sudden news. “I mean, I guess our conversation with him didn’t go well, but uh, I don’t think we did anything to burn any bridges. Unless you include talking. Which could be possible, since your father is kind of unpleasant, Todoroki-kun. And petty.”
Todoroki snorts, and turns to Bakugou. “So as far as you know, he’s just throwing a fit?”
“Fuck if I know. But it’s not like we did anyth- oh. Hm. Wait, is it your dad who has that ugly fuckin’ statue of himself in the downstairs lobby?”
Deku’s eyes widen. “Aw, Kacchan, you didn’t…”
“I probably did,” Bakugou admits as he signs and shoves another paper away. “I don’t fucking know; I think I destroyed some asshole’s shitty art yesterday.” He does have a vague recollection of blowing up a hideous bronze thing on his way out of some douchebag’s building. Maybe that douchebag was Endeavor. It feels like it all happened a lifetime ago. “If it was really him, then your dad’s a whole fuckin’ bag of dicks, you know that?”
Todoroki blinks at him once before answering, “I had some idea, yeah.”
The whole Endeavor situation is starting to come back; he’d forgotten it once they were busy with the case last night, but the indignation is returning as strong as before. “Yeah, it was him! He wouldn’t help us!” Bakugou recalls angrily. “And not for a good reason or anything, but because of some stupid personal bullshit! Like, who the fuck does he think he is?!”
“Well, he was the number two hero in Japan for a long time,” Deku says.
“Yeah, well fuck him, you’re the-” No, wait, Deku’s number one right now. Shit. Another reason that today sucks. “-I’m the number two hero now, so screw all his stupid All Might envy! He’s a washed-up dickwaffle anyway,” Bakugou snarls, almost punching a hole through the table with his pen. Deku catches his fist with a hand before he can.
“We might have shared a, uh, heated conversation with him? He's still not pleased about you and me, among other things,” Deku says, not sorry for once. He takes Todoroki’s hand in his. “You know I don’t care about what he thinks, but if you’d like, I can try to reason with him again.”
“Why bother? He's clearly an idiot, and idiots don't learn.” Bakugou chews on the end of his pen crankily as he scans his form for errors. The words are still swimming but he spots a small box he forgot to fill out. “Deku's the best that someone like you is ever gonna do, and if his fragile ego can't handle it, then fuck what he has to say,” he adds as he signs off at the bottom of the sheet.
Deku, who was nodding along in agreement, pauses with his chin tipped low, and stares dumbly at the table for a minute before asking, “Wait, was that a compliment? Did you mean that in a nice way?”
“...no, of course not,” Bakugou tries to snap, but everything about him seems to be working in slow-motion now, so it comes out very calmly instead.
“Half compliment to you, half insult to me, I think.” Todoroki says, smiling slightly. “So you had an argument with my father about a case. And then Bakugou probably destroyed part of his lobby.”
“It’s not ‘destruction’ if it’s an aesthetic improvement,” Bakugou grumbles.
“I'm pretty sure it still is. But thank you. For standing up to him.”
Bakugou glares at him. “It's not like we did it for you, smallpox.”
“I kind of did,” Deku pipes up and Bakugou flings a whole cup of paper clips at him.
“Shut up, Deku. It's not like we needed him in the end, anyway. So if he wants to blacklist me, then good riddance. To him and his dumbfuck statue.”
“I don't like being at odds with other heroes, but I also honestly don't care about Endeavor’s opinions on many things, so.” Deku shrugs, paperclips raining from his torso. He hit a point in his career as a pro hero when he ceased to give a fuck about certain things; Iida has told Bakugou before that he thinks it’s his fault. Bakugou doesn't care. It's character-building to be able to tell people to shove their dumb opinions back up their asses.
“You and me both,” Todoroki says, smiling soppily at him, and Bakugou’s had enough of this. If he's going to die of exhaustion, he doesn't want the last thing he sees to be icyhot’s gross romantic face.
“Alright, you're both disgustingly attached to each other, we get it, now go the hell away so I can finally finish all this damned paperwork and die in peace.” There’s no chance of him sleeping in Deku’s office, but his own is a bit far. He’ll likely have to crash on Kirishima’s secret couch again.
“Don't you want lunch?” Todoroki asks. “I can bring you two back something before I start patrol.”
“It's 8 in the fucking morning, you backwater chum bucket! No one’s eating lunch yet!”
“What Kacchan means is that he'd really appreciate a stack of the mega banana pancakes from the Kitty Zone Breakfast Bar,” Deku says diplomatically.
“Do you want your usual?” Todoroki asks him, ignoring the fire starting on his chair after Bakugou lights it up.
“Yeah, that'd be great! Thanks so much, Shouto-kun,” and great, now they're kissing. Fucking hell, this is why Bakugou hates working out of Deku’s stupid office.
“You. With the teapot,” he demands, waving furiously at one of Deku’s sidekicks. “Come over here. Pour that boiling water right down my throat and put me out of my misery.” Deku stops barnacling on Todoroki long enough to intercept.
“Kacchan, no. Wait until after free breakfast, at least.”
2. Fujimi Neighborhood Shop
“Popsicles for everyone!” Kirishima announces when they arrive at the corner store, because he's a gift to humanity, and makes Denki feel like a hack. “Now, you've all been great helpers today, so wait here while we buy the ice creams, okay?”
“Okay, Red Riot!” all the children cheer. He beams at the crowd, sharing high-fives with a few kids in the front before advancing toward the door, but he stops short when he notices only Denki is following. Bakugou and Midoriya hover awkwardly next to the road, unwilling to draw any closer. Usually Midoriya loves interacting with kids, and Bakugou loves proving to Midoriya that not all children are scared of him, but they just look up at the store’s name and shake their heads.
“What, are you two too cheap to buy ice cream?” Denki asks with his hands on his hips.
“No, fuck you, you want cash? I’ll give you cash,” Bakugou snaps, whipping out his wallet and chucking a roll of bills at Denki’s face.
He catches it handily, whistling when he realizes just how much he’s holding. Should’ve known that there were perks to dating Bakugou other than his outstanding personality, but he still doesn’t envy Kirishima any.
“Whoa, we could buy half the store with this,” he says, but still, the other two remain still.
“You guys staying out here?” Kirishima calls from the doorway, and they nod mutely, avoiding eye contact with anyone inside the store. Very strange.
Later, after Kirishima’s rained candy and ice cream on all the neighborhood kids, they sit on the stone wall of the nearby park to eat the leftover popsicles, and Denki has to ask, because really, what the hell is happening here?
“So what’s up with you guys and the corner store?”
Bakugou just scowls and chomps a solid hunk off his popsicle. Midoriya coughs, looking down at his knees. Denki is starting to think this might be one of those occasions that Jirou has classified as “moments where you should have kept your big mouth shut,” but on the other hand, he bets Ashido and Sero would've been egging him on if they were here. Then again, they're idiots just like he is...
“Um, Kacchan and I might not exactly be allowed into that shop at this point in time?” Midoriya says guiltily. Denki and Kirishima stare at them, then up at the sign that reads Fujimi Neighborhood Shop, then through the glass at the kindly old lady tending the counter.
“You're like the most famous person in the country,” Kirishima says, baffled. “I mean, I know how he is,” he says, linking arms with Bakugou, who keeps chewing resolutely through his blue popsicle, “but what the hell could you have done, Midoriya?”
“Back when we were in U.A. there was this one time-”
“One time?” Bakugou sneers.
Midoriya, having the patience of an angel, valiantly refrains from rolling his eyes and calmly asks Bakugou, “Did you want to tell the story, Kacchan? Because I’d be happy to let you tell the story.”
Bakugou opts for flicking his wooden stick at Midoriya’s chest and ripping open another popsicle wrapper with his teeth instead. Denki decides to shift a little closer to Midoriya, just in case. Bakugou’s his friend and he loves the guy, he does, but he only feels like he's at half-charge right now, and could really do with not having to prevent his own murder today.
“It was second year, I think, and we were running a street simulation to practice on-site rescues. We got a little too competitive, and one rescue got out of hand. I was just supposed to launch Kacchan over the acid villain to the other side of the street, but he just wouldn’t stop talking-”
“Fucking Deku threw me right through the window.” Bakugou takes his fist and crashes it against his palm, letting that hand explode away like shattering glass. He’s oddly straight-faced about the whole thing.
Midoriya, at least, looks somewhat ashamed of himself. “I should’ve been able to control my strength better, but Kacchan can be so...himself, sometimes, and maybe I just snapped.” He sighs, but Denki totally understands.
He turns sympathetically to Midoriya and places a hand on his shoulder, saying, “I mean, he’s one of my best bros and all-”
“Says who,” snaps Bakugou.
“-but honestly we’ve all always considered you a literal saint for putting up with him for so many years. I would've thrown him through ten windows.”
Bakugou throws his stick at Denki this time. “What kind of ‘best bro’ says shit like that?!”
“The kind that knows you, babe,” Kirishima tells him.
“Anyway, it doesn't help that he tried to punch my lights out when I went to apologize to the shop owner-”
“Or that Deku then fucking kicked me into another shelf-”
“I said I was sorry about that! I didn't want to get blown up!”
“I wasn't going to blow you up, you stupid asphalt gum smudge, I was going for the villain!”
“Y-Yeah, I know that now, but you don't know what it's like to have the Bakugou murder eyes directed right at you! It was a reflex!”
“I wouldn't have to use the murder eyes if you stopped chucking me through plate glass, dumbass!”
“You know,” Kirishima says with a laugh, “you two can be such a train wreck that I'm surprised sometimes when I see you actually kickin’ ass on the field.”
Midoriya crumples up his garbage in one hand and rubs his eyes with the other. “You're not the only one, I bet. God, Aizawa-sensei looked like he was gonna kill us.”
“He wasn’t even our homeroom teacher anymore!” Bakugou complains.
“So you guys screwed up and now you're banned for life,” Denki sums up. Midoriya shrugs, his pretty green eyes still looking kind of guilt-ridden.
“I don't know if they ever officially banned us, but I don't really want to test their patience any further, so I just assume we're still not welcome.”
Kirishima laughs again at the defeated expressions on their faces. “I'm not even surprised?”
“Not like it matters,” Bakugou grumbles through his final popsicle. “So I can't go to some random convenience store in some tiny neighborhood no one cares about. Whatever. I can just send you in.”
“I guess so! But it's really not manly to keep getting banned from stores. Good thing we're not teenagers anymore, huh?”
“Haha, yeah, yes, I totally agree, Kirishima-kun,” Midoriya babbles. “Good thing that we're all responsible adults now who don't get kicked out of stores for objectionable behavior. Especially Kacchan and me. As role models for the youths- I mean, not that you two aren't role models, that's not what I meant at all, I'm just saying that we're all good heroes and citizens who aren't forbidden from any-”
“Christ, Deku, just close your mouth.”
A few more words trickle involuntarily from Midoriya’s mouth before he clicks his teeth together and presses his lips closed.
“Y’know, it actually makes me feel better about myself,” Denki muses aloud. “I mean, I haven't always had the most glamorous career, but at least I didn't destroy a mom-and-pop store in my wild youth.”
“Laugh it up while you can,” Bakugou says darkly, glowering at him, and Denki puts his hands up.
“Hey, no judgment here! Well, not a lot. A little judgment. Just a bit.”
Thank goodness Denki chose to sit where he did. He can hide comfortably behind Midoriya’s ridiculously well-muscled back while Midoriya fends off Bakugou’s growling lunge. One arm reaches across to block Denki from harm, and seriously, he understands why those goofy hero pin-up calendars are always clamoring for Deku to do a photoshoot, because he is fricking stacked. Denki should ask if he'll fireman carry him back to his office, once Bakugou has given up on trying to strangle him.
3. Curry Corner
“We can't eat here,” Bakugou says when he sees Curry Corner, before spinning on his heel and turning the other way. The rest of them just follow because...well, Mina isn't sure, actually. Perhaps they've grown used to simply listening to Bakugou because his plans are usually either really smart or really liable to get them maimed if they don't comply.
“You don't like curry? I thought you enjoyed spicy food,” Sero says, looking confused as they're led away toward a different restaurant across the street.
“Oh, no, he's right, he and Midoriya can't eat there,” Kirishima says, with what looks like a smile he's trying to hide.
“Did you get food poisoning before or something?” Mina asks. Midoriya gulps, tugging at his shirt collar awkwardly; Sero and Mina both follow the curve of his neck down past his collarbone to the glimpse of chest they're awarded before they avert their gazes somewhere more appropriate.
“No, nothing like that! The food is great, I'm sure. Kacchan and I just...have loyalty cards at a different curry shop.” Everyone else raises an eyebrow.
“That's the worst excuse I've ever heard.”
“Did you have to pick something that makes us sound like total losers?” Bakugou asks dryly, and Midoriya frowns.
“Plenty of people use loyalty cards! I have one at Shinsou-kun’s cat cafe-”
“Nope, shut it, I don't want to hear about your weird-ass relationship with fuckin’ Hypno.”
“He’s actually really nice!” Mina says, but Bakugou just stares incredulously back at her, so she shrugs and grabs Midoriya’s and Sero’s hands, swinging their arms as they follow Bakugou to a cozy izakaya down the road.
“Okay, forgetting about Shinsou for a second, please tell me why you guys hate Curry Corner. And no, that wasn't a smooth topic change,” Sero adds when they both give him another baleful look.
It’s not until they’re already eating that Midoriya finally gives in. “It’s really not that great of a story. And it’s not like we hate it – well, I guess I can’t speak for Kacchan – but, it’s more like we’re, um-”
“They’re banned!” Kirishima shouts cheerily in between shoveling karaage into his mouth. “It's true; I've seen both their names on the do not serve list.”
Mina looks around the table in shock. “Wait, I thought that was a convenience store; that’s what Kaminari told me.”
Bakugou rolls his eyes, and flicks an edamame bean at her, which she catches in her mouth. “So we’re banned from more than one place. Who cares. It’s not a big deal.”
“Uh, actually it kind of is? I’m not banned from anywhere,” Sero says. Mina, still catching Bakugou’s edamame, nods vehemently.
“Yeah, same here! Wait, no, I guess I’m not allowed into Tokyo Disneyland, but like, are there any heroes who haven’t gotten kicked out of there yet?” She’s read that article before – 18 Pro Heroes That Have Been Banned From Tokyo Disneyland (#6 Will Shock You!) – but only knows for sure that she and Kaminari are on there.
“Kouda?” Kirishima tries, and the others make noises of agreement.
“Seriously though, when you say ‘more than one place,’ how many are we really talking about?” Sero asks, pointing dramatically at Bakugou with his yakitori stick. “Three? Five? Ten?”
Bakugou smacks the skewer away but does actually look like he’s thinking about it, to Mina’s surprise. Then he starts counting off on his fingers, and they all watch in suspense as he ticks off more and more, finally telling them, “Thirteen.”
“Thirteen?!” Mina squawks. It's an unbecoming noise, she knows, but Tooru and Tsuyu both think it's cute, so maybe it isn't that bad. “Thirteen different businesses have told you that you’re not allowed on their premises? How the heck are you still considered a good guy?”
Kirishima pats her and Sero consolingly, but Sero is also perplexed by it all. “And you’re somehow still beating us in the hero rankings? What the fuck?”
“Have you guys tried sucking less?”
Mina sticks her tongue out and winds up spluttering indignantly when Bakugou tosses an entire edamame pod at her mouth.
“Um, I think you forgot about Yamamoto Paper Goods and the Mon Cala Aquarium again,” Midoriya adds.
Surprisingly, Bakugou just glares at him without trying to use him as target practice for his yakitori skewers. “Fifteen, then.”
“Oh, and the crab place.”
“That's in Sapporo,” Bakugou says, dismissing it with a wave of his hand.
“Being located in Hokkaido isn't equivalent to not existing, Kacchan.”
“Fine. Sixteen. Are you assholes happy now?”
Sero groans, wrapping and unwrapping a piece of his own tape around his fingers anxiously. “I’m not sure. On the one hand, this is fundamentally hilarious. On the other hand, how are you still the country’s top hero right now? You’re like a cartoon outlaw. It’s incomprehensible.”
“Hey, fuck you, that isn’t my fault. And I don’t see you harassing Deku about this shit, and he’s just as much to blame as I am.”
“Deku? No way,” Mina scoffs, but Midoriya laughs nervously and places his hand on her wrist.
“No, Kacchan’s right. We’re both pretty bad.”
“Yeah, but like, you’re probably only forbidden from like five stores tops,” Sero says. Across from him, Kirishima snorts, but just keeps chugging his beer when they turn to look at him.
Midoriya cocks his head, looking slightly confused. “No, Sero-kun, it’s like Kacchan said earlier. We’ve been banned from sixteen different establishments. Together, that is,” he explains when Mina and Sero sit there gaping at him. “Individually, we’ve probably each got a handful more on our rap sheets. Well, I think I have two. Kacchan probably has like forty-three.”
“Fuck you too, Deku.”
“I mean, we can work really well together, but sometimes, we’re also a little…”
“Volatile? Reckless? Dumb as shit?” Kirishima suggests brightly, and Mina is glad he said it for them, because Bakugou won’t try to body slam him for the sass. Midoriya just nods sheepishly, and Sero slaps a piece of tape onto his own forehead, slumping down in his seat.
“O-okay, I just- I don’t understand this state of injustice in the world, but okay. I guess the last question is, what’d you do to Curry Corner?”
“Blew it up.” Bakugou continues casually moving karaage to Kirishima’s plate as if he hadn’t just admitted to using his quirk to destroy a restaurant.
“Accidentally!” Midoriya says hastily. “S-sort of. It was a plan gone wrong. There was this villain, and a whole lot of grease, and in hindsight having him use his quirk in close quarters wasn’t the best call.”
“We caught the bastard, didn’t we?”
Kirishima looks at Bakugou fondly, and Mina knows it must be true love, because why else would you look so enamored while saying something like, “You also demolished a curry house. The existing fire there was pretty small until you two got to it.”
“Wait, wait, wait, there was already a fire? Why the hell did Bakugou use his quirk?”
Midoriya makes a little noise like “snrrrk” and drags his hand through his hair so that the waves spike up. Then he grabs Sero’s shoulder, scowls viciously, and spits out, “You fucking dumbass. We need to fight fire with fire. Nothing stops an explosion faster than a bigger, better explosion, you no-bake cheesecake.”
“Holy shit, it sounds just like him!” Sero howls, and Mina almost chokes on her drink while trying not to laugh. Midoriya’s lip is curled in Bakugou’s famous sneer, and his other hand twitches like he's trying to explode something.
“I've never said any of that, you unwashed grout stain!” Bakugou yells, trying to dive over the table to throttle Midoriya, who slips out of his seat and away from danger.
“Whoa, dude, Katsuki! C’mon, don’t get us kicked out of this restaurant too!” Kirishima begs, trying to trap his boyfriend in an arm-hold. Mina, for the greater good, throws herself between Bakugou and Midoriya, whose attempts to placate him only add violent fuel to the fire. From the corner of her eyes, she sees Sero sigh and hide his face under another strip of tape, no doubt trying and failing to keep his face hidden from curious onlookers. She should probably tell Kaminari to talk to him about that later, when Bakugou’s no longer trying to flip their table on its side using just his jaw muscles.
Men are always such trouble. She should just meet up with her girlfriends the next time she wants to go out on the town.
4. Hanazawa Fuuka-san’s House
Ochako thinks that it should be a good thing that her presence has somehow lessened the awkward atmosphere, but mostly she just feels pressured to be the most entertaining person in the room. It’s already not her strong point, but it doesn’t especially help that her audience consists of her boyfriend’s mom and her boyfriend’s childhood frenemy (frieval? rivenemy? frenemival??).
“-so, haha, that’s how we got the bridge collapse sorted out!”
Her story totally fizzled out at the end there, but Midoriya-san still smiles kindly at her. “Oh, that’s wonderful! I’m glad it all worked out. Izuku always talks about your rescue work, but sometimes I forget how dangerous it can be!”
“Oh, well, you know, having a team to watch your back makes all the difference!”
Bakugou makes a noise, and she glances over at him at his spot on the couch, watching him tap his fingers along the rim of his teacup. Ah, right. Mr. I Don’t Need Support Staff. They stare at each other for a second, trying to figure out who’ll be the first to break and make a snide comment about the other person. But even Bakugou can play nice in front of Izuku’s mother, it seems, because he just rolls his eyes at Ochako and goes back to picking at the cookies on his napkin. It’s too bad. She likes to think that she’s not the only person to enjoy the not-at-all-witty repartee they exchange.
A worry line develops on Inko’s forehead as she watches Bakugou crumble a bit of cookie between his fingers. “Katsuki-kun, d-do you not like the cookies? I thought Mitsuki said this kind was still your favorite, but I know that you’re older now, of course, and tastes change.”
And wonder of wonders, even the king of explodo-kills himself can make that deer in the headlights face. “No, they’re fine. They’re good,” he mumbles hastily, and jams all four cookies on the napkin into his mouth at once, chewing intensely and avoiding eye contact with Inko.
His eyes land on Ochako, who frowns slightly, reaching out a hand to warn, “Please don’t choke, Bakugou-kun.”
“Mmnot g’nna chork ‘n kies, Urghraka,” he manages to scowl at her. Thankfully, he follows up by chugging his tea without coughing, so at least Ochako knows she’s not going to have to resuscitate him for being an idiot. But it doesn’t escape her notice that his eyes keep darting at the clock, no doubt wondering when Izuku’s going to finally get home. Ochako’s wondering the same exact thing.
Inko pours out another cup for Bakugou once he slams his cup back down, and goes to refill Ochako’s as well, but the pot has run out. “Oh, Ochako-chan, I’m sorry, let me just brew another pot.”
“No problem! I don’t mind at all!” Inko smiles at them both again before hurrying over to the kitchen, and Ochako marvels again at the number of Izuku’s adorable traits he inherited from his mother. She wishes Tsuyu were here to see this.
“What the fuck is taking Deku so long,” Bakugou mutters under his breath. There are cookie crumbs all over his face and Ochako turns her head away to laugh. He scowls again and practically grinds his napkin into his skin trying to brush them off.
“You know him, he probably ran into a bunch of pet cats stuck in trees on his way home!”
“Asshole can't even show up to his own birthday party on time.”
“It's fine, the real celebration isn't until tomorrow anyway.” Ochako was invited to guest lecture at a hero seminar overseas, so she'll be out of town on Izuku’s actual birthday, which is why she brought over cake and his present today. She was going to take Izuku and his mother out for dinner (as is her hobby now that she's raking in the cash) before returning for cake, but when she arrived she found Bakugou crushing something in his hand and making awkward conversation with Inko in the doorway. So of course she had to force him to join in the festivities.
“Thank god I don’t have to go to that. Bad enough you’re making me stay for this.”
She laughs at the indignant way he punches the cushion next to him. “C’mon, Bakugou-kun, if you’re gonna sneak in to leave a present behind, you might as well stay for dinner! Besides, we never get to hang out! It'll be fun.”
“I didn't take you for a liar, Uraraka,” he grumbles, but he stops pummeling the pillow when Inko returns to the living room with another full teapot.
They make stilted small talk for another couple of minutes, but Ochako finds her attention fixated on the small blue packet of folded tissue paper lying on the coffee table that Bakugou brought over. She'll never tell him this, because she does enjoy being on somewhat good terms with him, but it's a shockingly sweet gesture for someone like Bakugou to still be giving birthday presents to his childhood frenemival. She’ll have to ask Izuku later what it is.
As if he sensed her thinking about him, the front door opens, Izuku shuffling in while trying to remove his shoes at the same time.
“Sorry for coming back so late! Stuff kept coming up on my way back to the train, and then- well, I'll tell you about it later,” he says as he crouches down to straighten the shoes in the foyer. They watch as he pauses over Bakugou’s sneakers, blinking down at them before lifting his head to smile over at them. “Mom, Ochako-san – you didn't need to hold Kacchan captive.”
“It's my present to you,” Ochako jokes as Izuku comes over to give her a kiss before helping to gather up the napkins on the table as Inko collects the cups.
“Happy birthday, nerd,” Bakugou says, and it almost comes out sounding fond, if Ochako didn't know better. Or perhaps she doesn’t know as well as she should, given the way Izuku’s eyes soften.
“Kacchan, you wanted to third-wheel for me again?” Izuku asks with a grin, and Bakugou puts him in a headlock.
“Don't be fuckin’ gross, you filthy mold colony. Your mom’s going too, so you two better keep it family friendly,” he snaps, pointing his free hand at Ochako.
“We’ll be completely G-rated,” Ochako swears. “Maybe PG, depending on how much you swear at us.”
Izuku links his hand with Ochako’s as they descend the stairs after leaving the apartment, but he freezes partway down, latching grimly onto Bakugou’s shoulder.
“Wait. Hanazawa-san is outside today.”
It's a mystery to Ochako what this means, but Bakugou also stiffens, while Inko laughs lightly at them.
“Are you two still afraid of her after all this time?” she asks as they both hunch down lower so as not to be seen by the older woman tending to a shrub down below.
“Mom, she said she would turn us into fish food! Premium grade!”
“I've never seen anyone else with yokai teeth like that old bat,” Bakugou hisses.
“Are they that bad? Aren't Kirishima-kun’s teeth also kind of unique?” Ochako asks, also ducking along with them. She figures it's safer to just follow suit.
“Kirishima’s teeth are fine,” Bakugou tells her, and she puts a hand to a mouth so he can't see her smile. Everyone has a soft spot after all.
They succeed in making out to the street without catching Hanazawa-san’s attention, but Izuku and Bakugou keep looking back, paranoid, for a few yards on their way to the train.
“Oh, I'm sure she's forgiven you by now,” Inko says as they wait at the station, but Izuku shakes his head rapidly.
“No, I really don't think so. You don't know how mad she looked when she saw it was us.”
“She was pissed,” Bakugou agrees, before wrinkling his nose. “And it's not like we even broke a fucking window or anything. It was literally five apples.”
“Did you steal them or something?” Ochako asks, amused. It doesn't seem in character for two kids who have been hero-obsessed since birth, but who knows with them.
“No,” Izuku sighs. “We were playing on the sidewalk one day and I got a ball stuck in her apple tree. Kacchan thought we should try to use his slingshot to knock it back down. It didn't go well.”
“How was I supposed to know the stupid branch was so weak? Even if we hadn’t gotten to it, just one obese squirrel would’ve done it eventually.”
“We didn’t even get the ball back, after all that. It was my special super bounce All Might ball too.”
“That ball was the shit. Too bad the old hag probably popped it and used it to keep the rest of our broken childhood dreams in.”
“A little overdramatic, Kacchan.” If the train weren't about to pull into the station, Ochako is pretty sure that Bakugou would put him in another headlock, but instead he just scoffs and taps his foot impatiently as they wait for the train to stop.
“You're gonna come at me for being overdramatic after pulling that espionage shit on your way down the stairs?” He drops down flat on the ground suddenly, mocking the way Izuku had slid across the concrete outside the apartment. Ochako lets out an involuntary splurt of laughter, and even Inko shakes her head fondly.
Izuku rolls his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry we can’t all kickflip everywhere as a means of transportation.”
Bakugou barks out a laugh, and rolls his neck before shaking his arms out to loosen his muscles. “I’ll kickflip your ass, Deku, birthday or not.”
“Sure you can, number 2. I guess beating you can be my birthday present to myself.” Oop, and it looks like the secret Midoriya sass has broken free of its restraints again. When he’s comfortable around other people, Izuku can be playful and funny, but there’s no one who brings out this level of backtalk like Bakugou does.
“Oh, it’s on now, you fucker.” The look that crosses Bakugou’s face is both excited and irritated, and Ochako can just envision how this is going to end.
“Alright, settle down now, you two,” she scolds, doing her best to channel Tenya and grabbing them both by the collar before they spar their way onto the tracks and ruin somebody’s evening. “We have a dinner to attend. You can have your little squabble later.” With that, she pushes them through the doors of the train that’s just arrived, before holding an arm out to be sure Inko boards safely.
“Sorry, Ochako-san, we’re done now,” Izuku says, looking chastised because he actually has a sense of shame, but Bakugou just slumps in his seat, mumbling, “Spoilsport.”
“You know,” Inko says gently, “if the two of you put your energy into apologizing to Hanazawa-san instead of fighting each other, she might actually forgive you.”
“It’s too fu- uh, too many years too late for that, Midoriya-san,” Bakugou complains, and Izuku nods.
“Way, way too late. I think it was over the second we ran away.”
Ochako can picture it clearly: Izuku with tears streaming down his cheeks, stumbling along as Bakugou drags him away from the scene of the crime. If she’d heard this story back in high school, she might have found it unbelievable, with the state of their relationship then. But now, seeing the way the jostle over space like elementary schoolers, throwing petty insults at one another under their breath so Inko doesn't hear, it makes perfect sense. She knows it was a long road back to this point for them, and even now, she can't say she completely understands just who they are to each other.
But if there's one thing she knows, it's gravity. No matter what else happens, there'll always be an invisible force pulling them together, whether they want it or not, and she honestly thinks they're both better off for it.
5. Hatsume Support Company (Returns Department)
Tenya frowns at the assortment he's presented with, noting the common theme among all the choices.
“I see you're all committed to the horror genre tonight,” he says, trying not to balk at the terrifying poster art for some of these films. Why are there so many movies about scary children and possessed dolls? Isn’t one enough?
“Don’t worry, we tried to weed out anything too violent. We’re looking for something frightening, after all, not a tasteless display of gore,” Yaoyorozu assures him. She’s bouncing on her heels a bit, and Tenya’s honestly a little surprised at how excited she seems. He hadn’t realized her taste in movies varied so widely.
“Well, this one looks like it could be interesting,” he decides, choosing one about a string of mysterious disappearances in a small village, and she beams at him before going to set up the movie.
From the kitchen comes Todoroki, managing an impressive balancing act with all their snacks. “I have popcorn,” he announces, placing one huge bowl in Tenya’s lap. “And chocolate.” A tub of caramels for Yaoyorozu. “And Midoriya’s...stuff?” On Midoriya’s seat he places a strange mix of dried seaweed and cheese fries before settling in between Tenya and Yaoyorozu.
Their host himself emerges from his bedroom shortly after. He flicks the lights off before draping a blanket across all four of them. “I think we’re all ready! Tenya-kun, are you sure you’re okay with our movie choices this time around? If you really don’t like any of them, we can find something else!”
“No, I think I will be alright. I trust your judgment,” he says.
“I'll protect you if anything happens,” Todoroki solemnly swears, resting a hand on Tenya’s knee, and Tenya appreciates the sentiment behind it, but he's not exactly certain what Todoroki could do. Still, they all seem so excited, and he supposes he doesn’t really mind. It’s good to branch out of your comfort zone once in a while.
“Thank you, Shouto-kun. I’ll rely on you.”
Once they’re all settled in, Yaoyorozu starts the film. It’s very atmospheric and Tenya can appreciate the technical precision it must have taken to get some of those shots, even as he feels the hairs on his arms raise as the orchestral cues pick up and a sense of foreboding enters the scene. The protagonist pauses at the end of her street before the scene cuts to another angle trailing through the grass as an unsettling noise begins in jarring asynchronicity with the music.
What’s especially weird is that there seem to be two noises: one like dripping liquid coming from the speakers, and another scratching sound that...is coming from behind them.
The others tense at the same time as Tenya does, tension ramping up as they swivel toward the source of the noise. Todoroki’s hands are already up, and Yaoyorozu’s hands are braced at the buttons of her shirt, but Midoriya relaxes even though the scritching at his doorway continues.
“Oh, it's just Kacchan breaking in,” Midoriya says, relieved, and Tenya almost smacks himself in the face from shock.
“I-is that normal, Izuku-kun? Shouldn’t we let him in?”
“Oh, no, it’s completely fine. He likes it better this way,” Midoriya assures him, leaning his head against Tenya’s shoulder, so he has no choice but to settle back down as well. Yaoyorozu sends another vaguely concerned look toward the door, which is now rattling in its frame with each dull thud Bakugou leaves against the wood, but she starts the film up again.
They’re watching the protagonist advance nervously through the tall grasses off the side of the road when the door finally clicks open gently behind them. Tenya glances back long enough to see Bakugou slip what looks like lockpicks back into his pocket before he enters the apartment.
“Deku, where the hell did you put your vacuum?”
“It's in the hall closet now,” Midoriya calls back, and Bakugou comes stalking past behind them.
“Hello, Bakugou-kun!” Tenya shouts, because if Midoriya isn't surprised by this question, then there must not be any cause for alarm. Bakugou lifts a hand in greeting before turning the corner and vanishing from sight.
Yaoyorozu twists and peeks over the back of the couch. “He doesn’t have his own vacuum?”
“He did. It’s...defunct now,” Midoriya says cryptically, but it’s not very difficult for them to decipher.
“And you’re not afraid he’ll just blow up yours too?” Todoroki asks. He’s sinking diagonally into Yaoyorozu’s side due to her new position with one arm thrown across the sofa back.
“Oh, mine is a fireproof Hatsume special. If he manages to break it, she’d probably just send me a new one for ‘further testing’.”
“And she didn’t give him one?”
“It’s because they have the scratch-proof stove instead.” Midoriya flaps his arms in a motion akin to flipping a pan. “Kirishima-kun’s quirk can lead to complications sometimes.”
“Only one test item per household,” Tenya recalls, thinking of his own turbo washing machine. Hatsume Support Company’s home appliance branch hasn’t been in operation for long yet, but he’s sure they’ve already come up with some hit items.
Bakugou’s return is accompanied by a trundling noise, with the tricked-out vacuum rolling smoothly but noisily behind him. He doesn’t say anything else before departing into the night, closing the apartment door behind him. Now that Tenya thinks about it, Midoriya’s doorplate is unusually scuffed. He wonders how often Bakugou busts in, and why Midoriya doesn’t just make him a copy of the key. Then he thinks about it a second more and decides he probably knows why already.
“I keep telling him to just go buy his own,” Midoriya says. “But I think after that special day we had there one time he doesn’t want to go back.”
Everyone narrows their eyes at the words “special day”.
“Let me guess. You're not allowed in anymore,” Todoroki says, but Midoriya shakes his head.
“Actually, Hatsume-san says we’re always welcome any time. I think she likes having more guinea pigs. It's her staff that would prefer for us not to come back, I think. They're too nice to say it, but...Kacchan really did a number on the returns department last time we were there. It probably doesn't help that Hatsume-san was egging him on.”
Tenya can understand without further comment just how horrible the scene must have been. Hatsume Mei with demonic fervor in her eyes, encouraging Bakugou to burn even brighter as the room fills with smoke around them. Midoriya shuffling his feet sheepishly in front of a crowd of terrified and/or excited customer service employees who just want to finish exchanging his broken blender and go home to their families. The fire alarms going off and a crack opening up in the ceiling and tearing through the fabric of reality itself. Horrible.
“But never mind about that,” Midoriya says hurriedly, running over to lock the door. He scoops up a handful of popcorn onto his bowl of seaweed mess after he returns, before settling in against Tenya’s side again.
This time, there are no further interruptions, except the mental ones Tenya keeps encountering every time a character does something extremely inadvisable like wandering off to secluded areas alone without alerting somebody!! But perhaps the indignation is worth it for every time the others cuddle in closer each time he so much as makes a noise. He supposes that horror has its draws as well.
1. All Might Tower
Izuku sneaks in the service entrance, though given the fact that he's still clad in his hero costume, he's not really that inconspicuous. Also, everyone in the building knows him by face. Actually, the whole country knows him by face, so really, he can't win here. He wonders if All Might ever appreciated being able to go around incognito before his secret came out.
He waves to Arai-san, the secretary on duty, and Hamada-san, the janitor who cleans the bottom floors, before taking the service elevator up to the fiftieth floor where the second secretarial office can be found. It’s not like there’s been any need for All Might to hide himself away in secrecy in over ten years, but old habits die hard. Izuku thinks he’s just fonder of the quiet ruckus of his office over the glitz of the public floors, or even his own home at times.
All Might’s office is tucked away behind a corner in a nondescript hallway with a potted plant outgrowing its boundaries outside the door. Izuku takes a minute to straighten his costume, because apparently some of his habits have stuck around too, and he still can’t stand the thought of showing his face in front of his mentor while in disarray even though they’ve seen each other at the lowest of lows too many times over to count.
“All Might, that's a shitty move. You'll lose in three turns,” comes a voice from inside before he can enter.
Izuku would recognize it anywhere. Peeking through the slightly open door, he sees Bakugou squatting on the floor across from All Might as they study a shogi board. Lying forgotten beside them is a plate of apple slices and a bag full of fruit.
“Ah, and here I thought I was getting better at this game!” All Might chuckles, stroking his chin as he mulls over which of his pieces he should move next. His thin hand hovers over one for a moment before he picks another to advance toward Bakugou’s side of the board. He receives just the slightest nod of the head.
“You're better than Kirishima, at least. He can't strategize at all. And then there's fuckin’ Deku, who overthinks every single move.”
“Here too?”
“You know that thing he does. Mutter mutter, compulsive handwringing, air writing, more creepy mumbles, twitching eyes.”
“He does have that tendency!” Raising his bony fingers, All Might mimics the action of Izuku scribbling into his notebook. Izuku can’t even resent them for the imitation when he notices the wry grins they exchange.
Bakugou doesn’t deliberate too long before making his own move, and from the dismayed noise All Might makes, Izuku knows he’ll probably start struggling soon.
He decides to finally make his entrance, knocking on the door before stepping into the room. All Might’s eyes crinkle as he waves Izuku over and returns to studying the shogi board. Izuku crouches next to him and Bakugou points at his chest before he can say anything.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“What?” Izuku puts up his hands, claiming innocence, but Bakugou rolls his eyes.
“All Might doesn’t need your ‘help,’ Deku. Shut it.” Izuku opens his mouth and Bakugou honest-to-goodness growls. “Shut it.” He reaches blindly into the bag next to him and pulls out another shiny golden-red apple, brandishing it at Izuku.
“Do not worry, young Midoriya. I haven't lost yet!” All Might announces, before slamming his piece down into place and almost rattling everything off the board.
Bakugou leans over the board to survey his options, and makes a small noise before scratching at his cheek. “Maybe I spoke too soon,” he says blandly, before capturing another one of All Might’s pieces.
“Gah! Perhaps I should've accepted the assistance after all!”
Reluctantly, Bakugou lowers his apple and tosses it to Izuku, who takes it as permission to sit down next to All Might and hum thoughtfully. “You're right; we haven't lost yet.”
“Yet,” Bakugou reminds, and Izuku begins chewing on his thumb. He rolls the apple back and forth on the carpeted floor.
“Well, we just have to play more like you, right? Use our instincts and our brains.”
“Smart idea! To defeat young Bakugou, we must play like young Bakugou.”
Izuku picks up a piece. Bakugou blanches.
“You can’t do that- that’s not a legal move, you waterlogged tofu block! No, don’t just- fuck, Deku, I’m going to strangle you, you fuckmunch- stop touching the pawns!”
“It's fine, Kacchan, I remember now,” Izuku assures him, elbowing him back out of the way to choose another piece. “We've got this.”
“Yes, move the silver general there,” All Might agrees. Bakugou looks like he's about to implode.
“Deku, I will literally pay you to shut the fuck up and go sit in the corner over there,” he snarls, and Izuku successfully stifles his laugh.
“Okay, I'll stop playing if you two let me take you out for dinner after your game,” he offers, handing the general back to his mentor.
“We accept, of course!” All Might booms before coughing. At least the blood that spews out is minimal.
“Fine, just go away.”
Izuku does not actually remove himself to the corner, but does consent to sitting unobtrusively beside the board. He’s not watching the game anymore so much as he’s simply observing them, these two people who shaped so much of his life, each in their own way. And it might not have always been easy, and it might not have always been good, but he’s who he is now because of how long he’s been chasing after the both of them.
And now that he’s here – now that Izuku stands as one of the country’s greatest heroes on his own terms, instead of still trailing after All Might and Kacchan’s shadows, all he can think is that he’s happy to be able to sit here eye to eye with both of them. To be able to talk and eat and laugh with them, and, on days like this, that’s all he really wants.
“Deku. Deku. Goddammit, Izuku, stop staring at All Might’s face for an entire second in your life,” Bakugou grumbles, waving sparks in the air until Izuku focuses on him again.
“Huh? Sorry, I was thinking. What’s up?”
“All Might lost. We doing dinner, or what?” Bakugou asks, but he’s already standing.
Izuku helps All Might to his feet as he answers. “Oh, right, sure! Where do you guys want to go?”
“How about curry?” All Might suggests, and Izuku chokes back a laugh as he makes eye contact with Bakugou, whose mouth twitches, hinting at a smile.
“Sounds good to me.”