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Hot, the damn place was so damn hot and it was ridiculous, Gotham was a cold, humid, cloudy, smoggy city, and Damian hadn’t had any trouble with the weather since he arrived there. In the summer, when Grayson complained a lot because he was supposedly melting, Damian would just roll his eyes and say “seriously, Grayson, you wouldn’t last a day in the al maghrib al kabir”.
It was a fact that Gotham’s sun was just a pale reflection of the sun in the desert at noon, and any store would provide shelter while there was none in the desert. Winter was another story, it wasn’t a secret that Damian disliked the cold weather. Not because he was raised in the desert, as Drake believed, after all it snows in the Al-Shaam too, but his mother took him to the coldest places in the world to make him fight with his bare hands against nature, animals or humans.
But the point was that extreme weathers shouldn’t be a problem for him. He had been trained to resist even weathers that didn’t exist in this world. Yet he was feeling incredibly hot at that moment, and it made him uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.
“Are you even listening to me?!”
Drake’s bitchy voice was like a distant noise in his head. Damian didn’t care about his complaints, he always criticized his work no matter what. To his eyes, Damian never had done anything right.
“No, Drake, you are only an echo,” he responded, sounding quite tired. He was sweating like a pig, he wanted nothing but a cold shower and getting in bed.
Of course, Drake got mad at that and muttered something under his breath. Damian didn’t want to fight with him. Not that he was going to lose, more like the opposite, but he just wasn’t in the mood. Regardless, his father looked at him with displeased eyes.
“You understand that we might have just lost an important lead,” Bruce spoke harshly before going back to the computer to open some files about their current case.
“They didn’t know anything!” Damian protested. Despite what Drake believed, the scoundrels didn’t know a thing about Black Mask’s plans. They had just been hired to transport the new cargo to the warehouse at the City Hall District near Port Adams, and apparently they didn’t even know who were they working for. “I told you, they believed they were working for the Sun Yee On.”
“How could you know if you beat the crap out of them, all of them!” Drake rebuked him.
“He interrogated them, Tim,” Grayson interrupted, trying to soothe the discussion. “Damian actually found out the whereabouts of the next cargo.”
Tim shook his head, obviously displeased. Damian simply rolled his eyes. Maybe he used more force than usual, that was true, but he didn’t give them contusions or anything permanent, and they were all conscious when he left. He interrogated some of them personally, so he knew.
“Maybe you don’t believe this, Drake,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest, “but some people can handle having a broken bone or two and talk. They aren’t as whiny as you.”
Dick looked at him, disappointed. Insulting Tim didn’t help him defend Damian’s actions.
“That doesn’t grant you the right to hurt them,” Bruce stated. “You are not allowed to patrol alone from now on.”
Tim smiled, all the anger from seconds ago fading away when he saw the expression in Damian’s face.
“That’s not fair!” Damian yelled, furious.
“I’m not asking your opinion, Damian,” Bruce insisted, not even directing another glance at him.
“As if you ever ask anyone.” That at least made his father let out a grunt in response. “You just like to hear the sound of your voice.”
Tim rolled his eyes, knowing it was another of Damian’s tantrums. He and Jason joked often that the hormones were doing his job, but seeing as Damian usually seemed more interested in gory murders than porn magazines, it was hard to find a proper explanation.
“Damian!”
“If you don’t care for my opinion, why should I care for yours?” Daman yelled back, throwing his gauntlets on the cave floor.
“Because I can ground you,” Bruce declared with icy calmness, a clear sign that he was about to explode. “And put your garments where they belong!”
“Oh, please do. I don’t care! It will only prove how much of a dictator you are.”
“Be careful with what you say, boy,” Batman voice echoed in the place.
“I thought you didn’t care about what I said.” There he was been his insufferable self, and at that point Dick and Tim could do nothing but sigh and facepalm, respectively.
“Damian!” Bruce yelled, exasperated and glancing towards Alfred for help. “Put your gauntlets...”
“What?! You don’t care for my opinion, I’m just noise to you!” Damian screamed, walking towards the stairs.
“Stop right there! And you know that’s not true!” Bruce turned and finally got up from the chair. “I listen to…”
“That’s bullshit!” Damian shouted, enraged. “At least mother had the balls to be frank and acknowledge what she thought of me!”
At that, Dick turned and moved towards Damian. He knew that when Damian mentioned his mother, it meant that he wasn’t going to calm down anytime soon.
“We don’t ignore you, Damian,” he intervened once again, before Bruce could even open his mouth. Whatever he was going to say at that point would only make things worse.
“He only listens to him!!” Damian vociferated, pointing Tim with his finger.
Tim was clearly going to say something, but Dick refrained him with a single look. Pissing off Damian any more wouldn’t be the smartest move.
“He is ignoring me!!!” the teen was yelling at the top of his lungs “I…”
“Oh, Dami!” Dick exclaimed, and the use of the nickname together with the suddenly surprised tone was enough to make Damian stop talking for a moment. “You need to tell us when you don’t feel ok,” the man continued, reaching out to help the teen with the blood that was suddenly dripping from his nose.
“I’n ffi-ln’ ok, Damian protested, but he was unable to continue with his tantrum with Alfred taking him to the medical bay.
•••
Damian rolled under the sheets. He was feeling so uncomfortable with himself these days, with everything. Even Titus ran away from him! And the damn heat didn’t help, he was so hot that he even considered sleeping nude, like when he traveled with the caravans, although he always was careful to not let his morabiyah knew about it, she was a true Shia and nudity wasn’t allowed by the sharia.
He sighed before rolling one more time. He usually didn’t like sleeping on his stomach, leaving his back unprotected and besides, it’s far more difficult to attack a man like that. But today it felt surprisingly good, maybe too much. He moved himself to be more comfortable. The sensation was really good, it was still hot but it felt just fine now, and when he jerked his hips he felt an amazing electric wave shooting from his loins.
Damian opened his eyes, and realizing what he was doing, he got up from the bed. Sooner or later he knew something like this was going to happen, Mother had told him about it, the last years he had been with her. There was medicine that would stop him from going through this, hormones might be something normal that people had to handle, but he couldn’t afford that. In that at least he believed Mother was right. It was waste of time, he just had to look at how easily distracted Drake’s friends became by the sight of what they called a hot girl. It made him conclude that it was a nuisance, and he didn’t want to think in the kind of mess that relationships and sex were. The whole drama Superboy - Wonder Girl - Drake - Batgirl was enough to make him want to avoid it. Saving Gotham was way more important than those soap operas.
Now, where were those pills his mother gave him? He was certain he had put them somewhere, and just because his Mother labeled him as traitor and put a bounty for his head didn’t mean he was stupid enough to throw away something he needed. Besides, he knew better than anybody that an Al Ghul doesn’t give things in a whim. If only he could find it. It was probably with all the stuff related to the League of Shadows he still kept.
He didn’t know the correct dose, but he could just test it out. If one pill was enough, then that was it. If not, well, he could always take more. It was going to be a problem to get more without telling his father once he ran out of them, but he could figure it out latter. Right now he just wanted to end this torture and sleep.
There it was the bloody thing!
The door opened without warning just as Damian was reaching for the bottle. Immediately, he closed the box with all his things. He might not be part of the League anymore, but there were things that he didn’t desire to explain.
“Rough night?”
“What are you doing here, Grayson?” he asked furiously. That night he wasn’t in the mood for any of his ‘I’m an awesome brother’ displays.
“I had a nightmare, so I thought you could help me.”
It was a blatant lie, as it always was. He knew Dick occasionally came to his room to check on him, and if he thought Damian was having a nightmare he’d play his farce. Damian could only guess that he had just made a lot of noise, and Grayson had convinced himself that Damian was in trouble, so there would be no way to kick him out now.
Damian disliked it. It was a violation to his privacy, and alright, it might be because he never did anything about his nightmares, but seriously, it was none of Grayson’s business! Yes, sometimes he had bad dreams, however other times he was completing ancient rituals that not even his father would understand, and other times he was practicing with his old weapons, not because he was going to use them anytime soon, but because he didn’t want the skills he had worked hard on to disappear. He couldn’t explain that to anybody without unwanted questions about his training, and he didn’t want that.
“Isn’t Drake in the Manor today? Why don’t you bother him?” He didn’t want to sound so harsh, but he wanted to be alone!
“Oh, Damian!” Dick pleaded, reaching out to hug him. “I’m afraid something might happen to my little brother.” Damian felt so uncomfortable. “What do you have here?”
Damian struggled with Grayson for the bottle. “Stop!” he cried out. “My mother gave it to me.”
“Oh,” was the response after Dick stopped trying to snatch the bottle away from him. “Sorry, little D.” No he wasn’t, he was looking at the bottle as if it could explode in the next two seconds. “What it is?” Dick asked, trying to sound casual.
“That’s none of your concern,” Damian replied, shielding the bottle. “It’s private.”
Grayson still looked worried, but he didn’t push the issue any further and instead went directly to Damian’s bed to prepare himself to sleep. There was no way to escape. Damian couldn’t attempt to take the pills or Dick would ask about them. Damian clutched the bottle before getting back to bed. For the moment, the arousal seemed gone, he could even feel an improvement in his body temperature. With a sigh, he left the bottle in the bedside table, determined to take a pill as soon as Dick fell asleep.
“I think you need a bigger bed, Dami.”
His bed was made for a single person, not to mention the way Grayson liked to sprawl himself all over the bed.
“It’s suitable when I’m the only one here,” he remarked, and Dick made a small noise before turning around to hug him. “Anyways, why would I want another person sleeping with me?”
He had to have said something funny, because Grayson ruffled his hair and laughed. “You are right, no one else should sleep with you,” he declared before kissing his forehead.
Damian would like to ask him why was he there, then, but he knew it would be useless. Grayson just did as he pleased whether Damian liked or not.
He gave Dick a last glance before closing his eyes and allowing the man to embrace him. It was a waste of time to tell Grayson that he needed space, didn’t like to be strangled by an octopus or that he was uncomfortable with being so close, he was going to blatantly ignore Damian anyways.
The wait shouldn’t take long, thirty minutes at most. Damian tilted his head to one side. Grayson’s nose brushed his neck, and he could felt the air his breathing produced over the shortest hairs of his nape. It tickled. He tried to ignore the sensation, as well as the smell of soap, girlish shampoo, after shave cream, and something he never had figured out what was and he only had labeled as Grayson’s stink. Why did Grayson had to put his hand in his stomach? Couldn’t he put it over his chest? Like Damian wasn’t already uncomfortable with a thigh pressing against his ass. Now his temperature was rising again.
Damian tried to change his position, a difficult task considering the bear that was hugging him. With some effort, he turned so he was lying on his stomach again. He knew it wasn’t a good position, not without having taken the medicine, and he was going to move again when Dick pulled him closer. Damian’s face got pressed against his chest, his arms circled Damian’s waist, his legs...
Enough.
“Damian, what’s goin…?!” Dick’s last words were lost under the sound of a door being slammed shut.
Dick took a deep breath. He knew something was going on with Damian. The boy had always been prone to sudden mood changes, explosive reactions when something didn’t please him, an impulsive need to curse at the top of his lungs... the list could go on and on. Bruce had been really pissed off at him, and Tim hadn’t helped when he accused him of having a tantrum. Damian was angry about that, that’s for sure, yet Dick knew the boy better, he was dwelling in other things. It was easy to know. Every time he would have usually gotten mad and attack someone, he had just retracted himself to his own thoughts, merely barking whenever someone pissed him off.
Dick knocked the door of the bathroom.
“Go away!”
This was going to be a long night.
“Are you alright?”
“Go back to sleep, Grayson.”
Dick sighed, and when he tried to open the door he realized Damian had locked it. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll go back when you come with me.”
He didn’t understood Damian answer, but it was probably some curse word. Dick was worried. Usually, Damian would either expose violently his emotions or ignore them. He didn’t know what Damian locking himself away meant, but probably nothing good. He glanced around the room. He needed a knife, and Damian kept tons of them stored in the strangest places, even if Bruce had banned it. Dick went to the nearest drawer, not without noticing Talia’s token wasn’t in the bedside table anymore.
“You know you can trust me, Damian.” No sound of reply came, just the sound of the shower running. What in the... “Damian?”
“Leave me alone.”
‘In your dreams, boy,’ Dick thought before opening the door, and he ran directly to turn off the shower.
“The water is cold, Damian, you could get sick!”
He didn’t expect to see Damian sitting bent at the edge of the bathtub, with his hands holding a few pills, completely nude.
“What are those?” Dick asked trying to reach for the pills.
The boy moved to avoid him, but a sudden hiss came from him, and using the distraction Dick took grabbed his wrist to take the pills. A soft sound of surprise was his unique reaction when he saw the problem. Dick wasn’t surprised, he knew that sooner or later Damian was going to reach that point, but what mesmerized him was the whole situation. The pills worried him, but at least he understood the shower now.
“You should have told me, Damian. I would have let you finish it, there’s nothing you should be ashamed of.” Dick released the teen’s wrist and put his hands in his shoulders, but Damian refused to establish eye contact. “I leave now, then. But tell me what were you trying to accomplish wish these,” he asked, looking at the pills in his hand. He didn’t intend to return them.
Damian kept his mouth shut.
“What are those pills for, Damian?” Nothing, not even a single blink. “Does Bruce know about them?” Why would Talia give them to Damian?
“Mother told me I should use them when this happens,” Damian finally answered. Dick could see the worry in his eyes. “They would help me to not be distracted.”
Only Talia could make such a mess of something so simple.
As he laid a towel in Damian shoulders, he kept trying to understand the situation.
“Did you take these?” Damian shook his head. “Is this the first time you were going to use them?” Then Damian nodded, and Dick relaxed slightly. He didn’t know what kind of poison Talia might have put in them. “So, the other times you just jerked off, right?”
“No way, that gross!”
Dick blinked, surprised. Knowing that the boy had been raised among a boy who was raised among cold blooded killers, it was rather funny to think that he found masturbation disgusting.
“What did you did then?”
“I didn’t have this problem before.”
Good, because he didn’t know what would he do if Damian told him anything else.
“Alright, first of all you don’t need pills,” he declared, throwing them away. “They may have hurt you, for all we know. Second, it’s easier if you just let nature take its course. It is less painful too.” Damian frowned. And Dick knew he didn’t believe his words. “Look, I will show you-”
“It’s wrong!” Damian insisted. “And I don’t want to be distracted by that.”
“It’s not wrong, it’s completely normal! And it’s your only option, anyways.”
“Imams don’t do it,” the boy protested. “A lot of people don’t do it! It’s not allowed by the sharia, it’s considered haram.” Was Damian using religious laws? Dick didn’t even think he believed in God. “I must do something else, like… meditation, meditation should work.” Oh, even Tim knew mediation didn’t work at all. “I would rather meditate.”
“That’s not going to work all the time, Damian. I’ve told you…”
“You’re weak, I understand that,” Damian answered reassuringly. “But I can handle it, I’m stronger.”
Dick didn’t even know how to reply to that. He wanted to hit his head against the wall. This wasn’t about having a strong mind or not! It happened even if you were thinking about equations.
Patience, patience.
“Damian, why do you find it so disgusting?”
“Because it is” The boy replied plainly. “I don’t want to touch myself,” he insisted with obvious distaste. It was weird for a boy who once had claimed he loved to walk around in the sewers. “I don’t want anybody to touch me. Besides, there are better things to do, like save Gotham.”
Dick hugged him. “Being touched is not that bad, is it?”
“You like touch, everybody knows that.” Damian might not have meant it as an insult, but the way he said it make it sound as if Dick was some manwhore. “You don’t mind, it’s alright for you let others touch you. I don’t, besides, why should I want it? I don’t see it any use. I only see troubles. Father is always difficult to handle after he talks with Catwoman. And I don’t have to remind you what happens when you talk with Oracle, right?”
Everything was so entangled in his mind. Damian’s current problem didn’t have anything to do with that. Even if masturbation could help him find out his preferences, sex was another whole topic and relationships even more. Dick wasn’t in the mood to discover what Damian thought about sex because probably it’d make him cry. The poor boy already thought that touch was disgusting! He saw his sex drive as a mere hormonal process that mesmerizes the body, probably he was thinking of it as a cold that could be cured with medicine. There was no place about fun, pleasure or happiness there, not even love.
The next time he saw Talia, Dick would have to tell her thanks for messing up your son so badly.
He knew how strong-minded Damian could be, and he seemed to have this idea so engraved in his mind that it would take him a long time to prove him that pleasure wasn’t a bad thing. The way Damian had slowly changed his mind about many things since they first met wasn’t because he had been paying attention to Dick. He ignored most of what he heard, didn’t matter how many times everybody repeated the same thing.
“Damian, I… think I know what you can do.” Dick tried to sound sure, but he wasn’t convinced either. His idea right now might either be the best or worst ever. “I was told a long time ago, and I just remembered.”
“I knew it!” Damian said, suddenly enthusiastic. Despite having been trained by the League of Shadows, he sometimes trusted Dick blindly, and if Dick didn’t do this right a lot of things could get ruined.
“You don’t need to dress up,” Dick explained, and Damian dropped the shirt he had just grabbed and waited for further instructions.
Dick indicated him to wait a moment and went to the bedroom, coming back with a chair. He sat down in the middle of the bathroom and indicated Damian to join him. Damian sat on his lap reluctantly, a towel covering his front.
“If you don’t relax is not going to work.”
Damian was tense, really tense. Dick could feel the doubts circling his mind, climbing into his thoughts like ivy on a wall. He put a hand on Damian’s forehead, pushing softly until he was resting his head against Dick’s chest.
“Close your eyes.”
Damian looked at him with hesitation before slowly closing his eyelids. Dick retired the towel on his legs, and Damian immediately tried to pull it back on.
“You need to relax or it’s not going to help you,” Dick repeated, caressing his arms until the teen let go of the towel. “Now, relax your arms and open your legs.” Dick slid his arms under Damian’s, being careful of not touching him too much. “Open them more, more, that’s it. Don’t tense up.”
It started with the tip of his fingers caressing Damian’s length, his flesh was warm and soft and honestly Dick didn’t want to think too much about the fact that it would be the first time with touching it. Damian jerked at the contact, so Dick forgot any kind of doubt he had, wrapping his hand around the base, dragging his thumb across the slit as he felt the boy reacting to the soft caresses. Damian opened his mouth, but the words got lost the moment Dick started drawing circles around the head.
With his teeth clenched, Damian tried to regain control, but as Dick’s hands moved up and down the shaft, the sensations overcame him and he let escape a soft moan. Dick didn’t change his tactic, because he had felt bad enough just trying to determine what technique would get Damian off faster.
“Ss- top,” Damian slurred, putting a foot over Dick’s, his fingers were cold and they clenched over Dick’s skin when Dick squeezed a bit near the base.
The teen was doing things more difficult than they should it be. If he indulged himself, this could be done quickly. He moaned Dick’s name, slow and soft, and it sounded good but completely immoral at the same time.
Dick changed the way he was grabbing Damian, using his free hand to search for other sensitive places. Goosebumps erupted in Damian body, whenever he let his flesh succumb to the pins and needles of pleasure. It was a good sign, his body finally letting nature takes its course, even if between moans there were words that made Dick confused, because after each please and Dick there was probably a stop, but Dick didn’t get to hear any.
He started to move faster when Damian lost his ability to say words with more than three letters, touching every sensitive spot, pinching and squeezing, making him groan and arch his back as his hips writhed uncontrollably. It wasn’t long until Damian finally came with a small scream.
Damian didn’t move for a while, letting his head rest on one of Dick’s shoulders with his eyes closed. Dick wanted to hug him, caress him, but he was unsure about how the teen would react to it, so they stood still until Dick realized Damian might catch a cold. However, Damian didn’t move a muscle, and ignored Dick’s words completely.
Dick didn’t know if Damian was just doing things more difficult on purpose or if he still hadn’t come back to his senses yet. When he carried the boy to his bed, though, he immediately hid under the sheets. Dick smiled, resisting the impulse to mess his hair, his hands still covered in dry semen. The important thing was that Damian didn’t hate him, for the moment at least.
Dick returned to the bathroom to clean his hands hoping it’d would also clean himself, and now it was him the one fighting the sensations traveling through his body when his mind wandered back to how good it felt having his body trapped between the chair and Damian’s body, his ears still repeating the eco of Damian’s soft moans. It made him shiver.
So he stood in the bathroom feeling like a fool and blaming Talia for this. Hell, he was going to kill her the next time he encountered her, because now it was him the one with an aching problem.