Chapter Text
Jensen wakes the next morning to tiny, soft paws kneading into his shoulder, and he blinks his eyes open slow and careful to find Freyja cuddled up on the pillow beside his head, trying to get his attention. It doesn’t take him long after that to register the warm presence at his back, or the heavy arm that’s still draped across his middle, and he holds his breath, wondering if he’s caught in the last few seconds of a dream.
When Jared stays right where he is and Jensen doesn’t find himself waking up, he exhales slowly, then starts to shift around. He sits up carefully, trying not to disturb Jared and gently plucking Freyja off his shoulder so he can hold her, instead. It’s still early, the sun not yet fully risen, and it’s quiet, too- besides Jared’s breathing and the gentle rustle of wind through the trees outside, silence fills the room, and it’s more soothing than it really ought to be.
He considers lying down again and trying to go back to sleep, but he’s not quite tired enough to pull it off. Instead, he looks at his companion, eyes tracing over Jared’s features as he sleeps. It’s not the first time he’s seen Jared like this, of course, not after weeks of essentially living together, but it’s the first time he’s seen it up close, and he doesn’t intend to waste the opportunity.
Jared looks younger when he sleeps. Softer, too; it’s hard to believe that he’s one and the same as the wolf from last night. Hard to believe that any of that really happened, just a matter of hours ago, when they sit here now in such peace. Still, Jared’s bandages are enough of a reminder, and Jensen finds himself frowning as he looks at them, wondering whether or not he’ll be able to check on the wounds without waking Jared up.
“Mornin’, beautiful.”
It seems like he might not have to worry about that, though, as his eyes flick up to meet Jared’s, half-lidded and sleepy, but open all the same. He’s smiling, too, and Jensen realizes that Jared’s arm is still curled around his waist. There’s not one single part of him that wants to pull away.
“Hey,” Jensen says, keeping his voice low and soft. Finds himself just staring for a few seconds, because the longer they’re alone like this, the easier it becomes to ignore the part of his brain telling him that this isn’t allowed. “How’re you feeling?”
A low hum, and Jared shifts around a bit like he’s trying to assess that for himself. Jensen keeps a close eye on his shoulder, and once Jared’s staying still, he sets Freyja down with her brothers where they’re still dozing beside Jared and leans in to undo the bandaging, intent on checking on it for himself.
“Stiff,” Jared tells him, but doesn’t sound all that concerned about it. “But better. You’re pretty good at this doctorin’ thing, huh?”
Jensen just hums in response, working to peel the last of the gauze away. Though the wound is still visible, shiny-pink like new scar tissue, it’s closed up nicely overnight, and he’s overwhelmed with a rush of relief- he must’ve gotten enough of the poison out for Jared’s own healing abilities to have taken over and finished the job.
“You’re gonna be fine,” he breathes out, and when he looks up to meet Jared’s eyes again- Jared’s watching him, and he’s smiling, real soft. Doesn’t seem all that concerned by his near-death experience. “What?”
“You saved me.” He’s got a dreamy look to him, and Jensen wonders if maybe he needs to rest a little while longer. “My skjǫldr in shining armour.”
I did my job.
Jensen has to bite his tongue on the words, because they feel wrong. Though they might be true, in essence, there’s something different about this, too. Something that’s so much more than just fulfilling his duty.
“Guess so.” Jensen pauses a short moment, fingertips resting against Jared’s chest as he starts to clear away the rest of the bandages. “I should’ve been faster. You got hurt.”
“So did you.” And it’s really not until that reminder that it even occurs to Jensen to worry about his own injuries- his broken finger throbs, and the dressing on the gash he’d gotten is messy at best. He doesn’t let any of that show on his face, though, not until Jared’s sitting up beside him. “Let me help.”
Jensen wants to protest, but Jared’s not giving him the chance, leaning around Jensen to scoop the first aid kit off the floor. Jared’s no longer hurt enough to justify making him lie down, so Jensen’s left to just accept the fussing, lying back when he’s instructed to do so and breathing out a sigh as Jared starts to inspect his wounds.
Jared’s fingers are gentle as they peel away the bandaging, and Jensen tries not to wince, closing his eyes and just listening to the soft sound Jared makes. “Jesus,” he’s mumbling, and there’s some shuffling around as he digs through the first aid supplies. “Human injuries are really messy.”
Jensen huffs out a breath and stays still while Jared rebandages him, throwing an arm over his eyes and quietly taking pleasure in the prolonged physical contact. He doesn’t know what they are anymore, after everything that happened last night, but at least in the safety of his own mind, he can admit that he wants Jared close, for as long as he’s allowed to enjoy it.
When Jared finishes with the bandaging, Jensen opens his eyes again, not bothering to protest when Jared picks up his hand, instead, trying to inspect his finger. It’s swelling up badly, and Jared carefully frees it from the makeshift brace, making a soft sound.
“How’d this even happen?” he mumbles, and Jensen just shakes his head, too tired to explain. He’ll be lucky if he can even get his brass knuckles on a month from now, but it’s not his top priority for the moment. Not when Jared’s here, all sleep-soft and worried and curled up in bed with him.
He sits up slowly, and it brings them closer than he means it to- just a few inches between their faces, knees bumping together under the sheets. Jared’s watching him intently, and Jensen finds himself meeting the gaze, all caught up in the way that Jared’s eyes shine up close. They don’t say anything for a few seconds, but Jared shifts, just a touch; gets a little closer and lifts one of his hands. His fingers find Jensen’s uninjured ones and curl together with them, and the movement is enough to shift the blanket where it’s settled over their laps. It’s not much, but Jensen catches a flash of skin in his peripheral, and when he turns his head to look-
He’s blushing, suddenly, remembering the state Jared had arrived in. “You- you’re-”
“Naked?” And Jared’s grinning, then, when Jensen looks back at him, and his free hand finds Jensen’s cheek, drawing him in close. “C’mere.”
When their lips meet for the first time, everything else fades into the background, and nothing in the world seems to matter. Jared’s lips are soft against his, and warm, and Jensen falls headlong into it all, leaning closer and gripping Jared’s hand so tight it hurts. He’s shaking, maybe, and feels like he should be crying, too, but all of it is inconsequential for the fireworks in his chest and the tender way that Jared holds him while they kiss.
When they finally break apart, it’s for air, and they stay close, Jensen letting his forehead rest against Jared’s while he catches his breath. They’re still holding hands, and Jared’s other hand has slid down to rest on the side of Jensen’s neck, and Jensen doesn’t ever want this moment to end, his heart feeling full to the point of bursting.
“Was that okay?” Jared asks, and he doesn’t pull away, but he sounds worried, too. Jensen knows it’s his own fault, and it hurts to think about what he said last night in his attempt to push Jared away. He tightens his hold on Jared’s hand and nods, just a tiny bit. Closes his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I- god, Jared. I’m sorry.”
Jared responds by kissing him again, and Jensen breathes out a watery laugh. “It’s okay. We’re together now, right?”
And it isn’t okay, not with how badly that moment hurt the both of them, but Jensen stores it away for later. He’s got so much to tell Jared, the least of which being the rules he’s supposed to follow, the ones that led him to lash out in the first place, but none of it matters right now. None of it matters on a lazy morning in bed, with no immediate obligations and just the two of them here to pass the time.
“Yeah.” Jensen swallows hard, and when he opens his eyes again, he’s smiling. “Together.”
Jared smiles back at him, then manages to coax him back into lying down, if only so the two of them can curl up together for another hour of rest. There’s still the morning patrol to think about, and the kittens need to be fed, and sooner or later, Jensen’s going to have to visit the clinic to get his finger looked at. There ought to be repercussions, too, for throwing caution to the wind and giving in to his feelings like this, but Jensen decides it isn’t worth his time to worry about. For how good it feels to just close his eyes and let Jared hold him, to tuck his nose into the hollow at the base of Jared’s throat and focus on relaxing, it’s easy to decide that having this in his life is a million times more important than a set of arbitrary rules written centuries before he was born.
“Hey, Jensen?”
Jensen hums in response without bothering to open his eyes. Jared’s breath tickles the top of his head while he speaks, and it’s hard not to hear the smile in his voice.
“Does this mean you’ll let me wander around the house naked now?”
Jensen laughs himself breathless, and Jared hugs him tighter, and even though they’ve got a long road ahead of them, it feels like everything is going to be okay. Whatever might be waiting for them over the horizon, Jensen knows that he won’t have to face it alone.
Maybe being in love isn’t such a bad thing, after all.