Chapter Text
***
“She loves you.”
Scorpius blushed furiously and tried to disappear behind the book he was reading for his N.E.W.T.’s: The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 7) by Miranda Goshawk.
“She asked me to tell you,” said Rose simply.
Scorpius bit his bottom lip as he peered at her from over the tome. “Thank you,” he replied stiffly. “Did she… did she like…”
“Loved it,” grinned Rose. “Said it was the best present she received, to my uncle’s dismay. I think she has already read it all. Twice at least.” She looked at Scorpius as he tried to wipe his goofy smile from his face without really managing. “She asked when you’d go to visit her and—”
“Thank you, Weasley.”
***
The Eagle Owl stared grumpily at Ginny as she read the letter that she had just been delivered. “Oh!” was all she could say as she reached the bottom of the epistle. She felt very much like Lily: surprised beyond belief about something as silly as a missive. But in her defence, that was not a letter that one received every day.
The owl hooted disagreeably at her when she sat unmoving on the kitchen chair for what might have been minutes.
“Oh, alright, alright,” snapped Ginny, grabbing a quill and a piece of parchment. “I’m replying already.” But she couldn’t help feeling her lips twitch upwards into a smile.
***
“Have I already told you that she said that she loves you?” asked Rose.
Scorpius groaned and wished he had Potter’s Cloak at that very moment. “Today?” he asked with a sigh. “Only twice.” He looked at her and narrowed his eyes. “Are you trying to wear me down?”
“Ah!” exclaimed Rose. “So you are not stupid!” She leant her back against the door of his compartment and crossed her arms, apparently not wanting to leave him alone just yet. After all, it was her last chance to pester him about Lily.
Scorpius rolled his eyes. “I was about to read a book,” he said sourly. “You always tell us about the importance of reading, so…”
“Well, I always tell you about the importance of going to visit Lily, but I don’t see you doing it,” she replied calmly.
Scorpius groaned. “Please, Weasley, tell me something else,” he sighed, “anything… tell me again how you got all O’s in your N.E.W.T.’s, or that you have already written your Auror application letter fifty times over, or how you were—”
“Oh, I almost forgot! Are you applying to be an Auror?” she asked him, smiling and ignoring his river of words.
He lowered his eyes and darkened. “I don’t know yet,” he replied. “Maybe… I’m not looking forward to having you and your cousin driving me up the wall about you-know-who for another three years…”
“I should hope that you would go and see her before three years have passed…”
Scorpius sighed. “Listen, I have patrol now so—”
“You are not a Prefect.”
“I meant that you’ve got patrol…”
“Not on the very last train ride home from Hogwarts…” she said quietly with an almost melancholic note in her voice. “I’m going to miss it. Hogwarts, I mean… Aren’t you?”
“I guess…” he replied softly.
“I almost envy Lily, starting next year…”
“She’s going to Hogwarts?” asked Scorpius, his eyes suddenly wide.
She nodded softly. “Got her letter on her birthday.” She grinned and brushed some curls from her eyes. “You better go and visit her before the first of September you know…”
***
Astoria folded the letter and put it in her pocket as she heard Scorpius’ steps approach the drawing room. She put on a smile and raised her eyes to look at him as he came in. “Did you sleep well, Scorpius dear?” she asked brightly.
He looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. “Fine, thank you, Mother,” he replied slowly. “And you?”
“Like a baby, dear,” she replied sweetly. “Would you like some breakfast? Or maybe a little brunch today? Would you like to eat in the garden? I think it’s warm enough, isn’t it?” Her smile widened. “Have you decided what to do about your Auror application, darling?”
He tilted his head a little as he stared at her. Surely he must have felt that there was something going on with her. She was never that cheerful. She had been happy to see him when he had come back from Hogwarts two weeks before, especially because the Manor was a lonely place when the only company a person got was that of the house-elves, but she knew that she was acting uncharacteristically cheerfully and surely her son could sense that. She couldn’t stop herself though.
“I’d love some breakfast,” he replied calmly, as he ruffled up his unruly hair, “and I decided that I might as well apply for the job. It’s not like I would do anything else anyway… and it might interesting, you know… just to keep me busy with something…”
“Wonderful, Scorpius,” she beamed.
Scorpius nodded thoughtfully. “When is Father coming home?” he asked softly.
His mother darkened slightly, but forced out a smile as she looked at him. “End of August,” she said stiffly. “Just in time to see you start your training as an Auror, then.”
“If I am accepted…”
“I’m sure you’ll be.”
He didn’t reply, but a soft smile played on his lips. “I’m going to get some breakfast, Mother,” he said after a while.
“Sure, Scorpius,” she replied. “Ah, darling,” she said as an afterthought, “we are having a guest for tea this afternoon.”
Scorpius stopped on the door and turned to look at her. “Who?” he asked, furrowing his brow.
“I can’t tell you,” she replied with a smile. “But please, do dress quite elegantly.”
***
Ginny had never been to Malfoy Manor before, but she had heard Harry, Ron, and especially Hermione, describe it so many times that, as soon as the tall walls appeared in front of her eyes, she knew that she had Apparated in the right place. Then, when a little, frightened house-elf squealed and opened the gate as she approached it, repeating, “Welcome, Mrs Potter, Mistress is waiting for you,” over and over again, she was absolutely certain that she was at the right address.
Of course, in case she still had any other doubts at that stage, the gigantic M’s placed practically everywhere – over the iron bars at the gate, on the roofs of the towers, at the windows, and even in the M-shaped rose bushes – would have clarified once and for all any reservation she might still have about her location.
Ginny followed the creature all the way through the park. It was immense. A gigantic garden, filled with flowers and trees and benches. Harry had not described it like that at all, but in all fairness, Ginny was quite a bit certain that those flowers and those nice benches were Astoria’s additions. She was, after all, quite nicer than any of the Malfoys Ginny had ever met. Of course, not that she had ever met Astoria before – she had just talked to her through the sparse correspondence of the past few weeks and maybe glanced at her askew at King’s Cross every time she went to collect or bid farewell to her children in the past seven years – but there was a point over which they both reckoned they could definitely bond.
Their children were longing to see each other, and somehow they couldn’t. Whether it was because one wouldn’t know how to find the other or because the other was afraid to hurt the first one, of only one thing both Astoria and Ginny were sure about: Mothers should join forces to put an end to all that nonsense and drama, and help the two beloveds finally find each other.
Astoria had suggested to Ginny, to bring Lily to the Manor, with the excuse of having tea with an old friend of her mother – apparently, she wanted to look at Lily as she saw Scorpius; it appeared that Astoria was far more romantic than Ginny would expect a Malfoy to be – but Ginny had opted for a less drastic solution: coaxing Scorpius into going to see Lily at Grimmauld Place.
She knew that Rose and Albus and Hugo had tried hard for months to convince him to go and see her, and she had been dismayed to learn that he had almost done that but missed Lily, for a fistful of hours, at the hospital, but she was sure that all he needed was the right incentive, and then he would knock on the door of Grimmauld Place the following day.
The house-elf pushed the great oak door open and bowed deeply in front of Ginny as she walked into the massive hall.
“Ginevra,” was the first thing she heard as she stepped inside, “you are fabulously on time.”
Ginny raised her eyes to the beautifully dressed woman and smiled. “Thank you, Astoria,” she replied, somehow Draco Malfoy’s wife felt comfortable using her first name. Ginny had not expected that. In her letters she had always addressed her as Mrs Potter and she had called her Mrs Malfoy. But Ginny had to admit that it was not an unpleasant surprise. “You have a beautiful garden. Lily would love it.”
Astoria looked intently at her for a long moment. “Then I’d like to invite her to explore it with Scorpius,” she said seriously.
Ginny smiled at her. “That’s really gracious, thank you,” she replied, “maybe after Scorpius has come to Grimmauld Place though.”
Astoria nodded, and if she was disappointed, she didn’t show it. She guided her guest through a tall, decorated door and gestured for her to sit on a precise chair. “You’ll be the first person he’ll see when he comes in,” she explained, “but I have to warn you, I’ve tried incessantly to tell him to go and visit your daughter for the past few months, and he has never changed his mind.”
Ginny smiled, unconcerned by the news. She pushed her hand deep in her pocket and fished out a voluminous stack of photographs. “Well, I brought something that might change his mind,” she said calmly. “Would you like to see them?” she asked to Astoria, unable to keep the pride out of her voice.
Last time Scorpius had seen Lily, she was… No, Ginny didn’t want to know how she was, how she had looked like that day. They hadn’t let her in to be with her daughter and Harry hadn’t described the way she had looked to her. And she was grateful for that. But surely Scorpius had forgotten how perfect and normal she was, and what a kind and loving face she had.
Astoria took the stack into her hands and Ginny stared at the woman as she looked at them. “That’s Lily, the day of her birthday,” she explained, “blowing the candles on one of her cakes.”
Astoria smiled softly as she stared at the girl that her son loved.
“That’s Lily opening her presents,” she continued as Astoria changed picture. “And that’s her trying to fly for the first time. She is sitting behind James, her brother.”
Astoria bit her bottom lip. “Yes,” she murmured. “I can see why my son is so enamoured with her.” She raised her eyes and snapped her fingers, and suddenly a house-elf appeared in front of them.
For a moment, Ginny imagined herself snapping her fingers at Grimmauld Place and having Kreacher and Taffy killing each other over who should appear first.
“Tell my son to come downstairs,” ordered Astoria. “Our guest is here.”
The house-elf squealed and disappeared again with a loud crack.
“She is lovely,” murmured Astoria, looking back at the pictures. “I… I can’t believe Nott was amongst Draco’s guests at our wedding…”
Ginny took a sharp breath and swallowed, nodding stiffly. “I’m sure you couldn’t imagine… couldn’t imagine that he…” Her words trailed away, her eyesight suddenly blurred with tears.
“No,” replied Astoria dryly. “I certainly couldn’t.”
Ginny had just the time to brush away the tears that threatened to spill over the corners of her eyes at the mention of Theodore Nott, when the door of the drawing room opened and a very elegant and very bored-looking Scorpius walked inside. His eyes wandered from his mother to Ginny and he suddenly stopped in his tracks, completely petrified with surprise and apprehension.
“Hello Scorpius,” said Ginny promptly, standing up to go and hug him. “I’ve been waiting for you to show up at Grimmauld Place for ages.”
Scorpius stiffened slightly as her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed him gently on his cheek. He seemed to try to hug her back in the gentlest way he could muster, but his hands were too shy to linger on her back. “I… I…” was all he could stammer.
“I wanted to thank you for what you did for my daughter,” she continued, letting him go and bringing her hands up to cup his cheeks. “And my husband as well, he would love to thank you. Oh, and if you have your Auror application ready, I will be more than happy to deliver it to Mr Potter.”
“I’m sure he does,” said Astoria gently. “Come, Scorpius, Mrs Potter brought some pictures for you to see.”
Scorpius looked from Ginny to his mother and then back. His grey eyes were still wide with astonishment at having Lily’s mother coming to visit him at the Manor. “P-pictures?” he asked softly.
“Oh,” said Ginny as she released his face. “Yes. Lots of them. Lily loves pictures. It’s a bit like seeing memories for her, I guess…” She went back to sit near Astoria and flipped through the pictures carefully, searching specifically for one in particular. “Here,” she said, handing it to Scorpius.
In the photograph, Lily was sitting on the couch of the living room in Grimmauld Place, The Further Adventures of Viridina the Witch and Her Beloved Knight lay opened in her lap, and she was wearing a very focused expression on her face. “She loves that book, Scorpius,” said Ginny gently. “She knows it by heart. She said that she was sure that you would know exactly what she wanted more than anything else in the world because you are her handsome knight.”
Scorpius swallowed as he stared at the picture, silence finally enveloping the three them. It looked as if a miserable smile was about to curl his lips, but it didn’t. Finally, without a word, he tried to hand it back to Ginny.
“Oh, keep it, Scorpius, I’m sure Lily would like you to have it.” She smiled and added, “And when you come to our house be ready, because Lily has already asked to take tons of pictures with you.”
Scorpius clutched the photograph almost spasmodically and took a deep breath. “Mrs Potter,” he said softly, “I… I don’t think I should come to see her.”
“And why is that, Scorpius?” asked Ginny gently.
“Because… because I’m not who… I’m not who she thinks I am… I’m not a knight, I’m not a good person,” he muttered, flushing just slightly. “I’m… I think I would hurt her if she was to know who I really am…”
Ginny smiled softly. “You should have more faith in yourself, Scorpius,” she said gently, “and in Lily. She would love you even if you were a toad, and not the knight you are.”
Scorpius sighed, “That she thinks I am…”
“No,” murmured Ginny, “that you are.” She smiled softly and stood up, walking to him once again since the young man seemed petrified on the spot and bringing her mouth close to his ear. “Nott kept her for six years. She had been sold to more men than I have the heart to know,” she whispered, her voice a bit choked, “and she never talks about anybody but you.” She fished out another picture from her pocket and handed it to him. On it, Lily could be seen talking to Rose, and even to someone who was particularly unskilled in lips reading, it was blatantly clear that she was saying his name, while her face was looking expectantly at Rose, waiting for news from her beloved. “I am certain, like only a mother could be, that you are her knight,” she murmured. “And I’m sure your mother told you that mothers are always right…” She pointed to the picture and smiled. “She is asking about you,” she told him, “like she does every day…”
Scorpius swallowed hard, his eyes on the picture. “I… I…” He looked at her and shook his head. “But you don’t understand, Mrs Potter,” he choked out. “If it wasn’t for me she would have never… she would have never… you haven’t seen the playroom. You… you didn’t see what he did to her…” Scorpius’ bottom lip was trembling frantically, but his eyes seemed still dry. “I should have known he would never let her go without a fight… if it wasn’t for me…”
“I know,” whispered Ginny softly, “if it wasn’t for you, she would have been dead. Or never found.”
Scorpius’ eyes widened as he shook his head frantically. “No, no! If it wasn’t for me she would have never suffered, she… she asked to die at my place, you don’t… you don’t know… don’t know anything…”
“You are right,” she replied quietly. “What I know is what my husband told me. He said that if you hadn’t stirred on that floor, she would have let Nott kill her. She didn’t care about anything or anybody but you. That’s what I know…”
Scorpius swallowed, his eyes lowering. “But I didn’t… I didn’t…”
“You did,” she assured him forcefully. “Don’t worry, you did…” She smiled at him. “We don’t have anything to do tomorrow afternoon, you know,” she said gently. He was going to come, Ginny knew that much, even if she had to spend the whole afternoon convincing him.
Scorpius bit his bottom lip as he closed his eyes. He seemed to be thinking hard about something, to be considering her words carefully, before opening his eyes again. “Me neither…” he whispered as he looked at Ginny. “But… I’ll come… I’ll come just… just to tell her that I didn’t save her… that I—”
“Well, then, I hope you like Chocolate Frogs, because she will most certainly try to feed you them,” said Ginny gingerly, cutting him off.
Scorpius took a deep breath. “I love them…” he replied with a sigh.
“Marvellous,” said Astoria, standing up. “Let’s have tea now, so that Ginevra can show us more pictures of her beautiful daughter.”
And Scorpius almost didn’t touch his tea nor the biscuits, but he seemed to want to memorise each and every single picture of Lily. And Ginny smiled the whole time, and couldn’t help thinking just how happy her daughter would be the following day.
***
Lily didn’t quite understand why her mother had asked her to wear the yellow dress, the one that Albus and James had bought her in Diagon Alley. It was beautiful and it was nice and cool, in the heat of the June day, but she had been told that it was only for special occasions. And an afternoon at home was not what her parents usually considered a special occasion – she did, but that was different. Mummy had also styled her long hair into a pretty French braid – that’s what she called it – and made her wear a pair of beautiful pumps with little flowers on them.
And now she was sitting at the kitchen table, her little hands balled into fists and pressed against her cheeks while she was reading, for the fifteenth time, The Further Adventures of Viridina the Witch and Her Beloved Knight.
“Lily, sweetheart, are you cold in that dress?” asked her mother anxiously. “Mummy made you wear it, but if you want to wear something else…”
She raised her eyes to her mother and beamed. “I’m not cold, Mummy,” she replied politely. “Thank you.”
Her mother nodded and glanced at the Grandfather Clock near the door.
“Mummy,” called Lily. “Where are James and Albus?”
“Diagon Alley, darling,” replied her mother, “looking for new… things… for Auror training… or something…”
Lily cocked her head and nodded seriously. That was the first time since Albus finished school that she was home alone with her mother. Usually, her brothers were there, and quite often, a bunch of cousins, and her grandparents to keep her company.
“Mummy?”
“Yes, Lily?”
“Aren’t Grandma and Granddad coming?” she asked, a soft smile spreading her lips.
Mummy smiled back at her. “Maybe later, dear,” she replied. “Grandma was… she was knitting this afternoon and Granddad was working with plugs… I guess…”
Lily nodded again. “And is Rosie coming?”
Her mother smiled again, walking to Lily and kissing her head as she wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Lily, my sweet, sweet darling,” she murmured. “Rosie and Hugo are busy.” She leant her head against Lily’s, their hair mixing together. “But you and I are having a guest this afternoon,” she finally told her.
“Oh,” she exclaimed, her eyes shining with excitement. “Who is it, Mummy?”
“It’s a su—”
But her sentence was cut short by a knock on the front door. Her mother whipped her head towards the hall and straightened her back.
“Taffy will open the door,” squealed Taffy from the hall.
“Taffy is an insolent elf,” growled Kreacher. “Kreacher opens doors at Grimmauld Place…”
“No! No! Both of you!” called Mummy irritably. “Go back todoing what you were doing… Lily will open the door…” She looked down at her and smiled. “Come on, Lily, I’m sure it’s for you…”
Lily felt her heart flutter with wonder. For her? Who could have been at the door for her? Her family usually used the fireplace; it had only been Luna, once, who had come knocking on the front door when she had visited. Maybe it was Luna again… maybe she had brought her another present from some distant land, and she would sit with her and tell her everything about it.
“Yes,” she said, standing from the chair and hurrying to the door. She turned the key three times and unhooked the chain that kept it closed, and finally pulled it open.
And stopped dead as her eyes met the silvery ones of Scorpius.
***
Scorpius could feel his fingers go completely numb as he heard the lock catch in the door in front of him. His heart was beating painfully in his chest. His blood was pulsing in his temples. His muscles were as stiff as rocks.
He had just the time to ball his hands into fists and grit his teeth with resolution as he reminded himself that Mrs Potter might have persuaded him to come and see Lily, but that he was going to tell her exactly what he had wanted to tell her that day at the hospital.
He was going to tell her everything she should know about him.
Everything. Everything. Everything.
He swallowed, only to find his mouth dry, as the door opened with a loud creaking sound.
And then time suddenly stopped as she stood there in front of him and looked at him with eyes as big as saucers.
She was beautiful. How could he have forgotten how beautiful she was? He hadn’t, really, but seeing her again, right in front of him… it was entirely too much, it brought back feelings and sensations that he had tried to bury away without much success considering the amount of times he had dreamt about her in the past weeks.
But she was… she was different…
She was dressed in a yellow, summery dress, her hair was pulled up, her face… her face looked happy. As happy as he had never seen her before… And her eyes… her eyes were wide, and so was her mouth, opened wide as she stared at him. And she wasn’t as pale as he remembered nor as emaciated as she was the last few times he saw her, her cheeks were rosy and her little hand grasped the handle of the door as if she needed it for support. And she seemed unable to move as much as he was.
Scorpius tried to wet his parched lips with his tongue and finally he breathed a “Hi,” which was much weaker than he had expected. He also tried to smile, but the muscles of his face didn’t seem to want to obey his brain.
Unexpectedly, Lily lowered her big, brown eyes and murmured a soft “Scorpius,” before throwing herself at him. To his dismay, she didn’t try to hug him, but fell gracefully to her knees and enveloped his legs in her arms. “Scorpius,” she sobbed. “Mummy look, it’s Scorpius.” She kissed his thighs and tears swelled up in her eyes as she brushed her cheeks against his trousers.
For a moment, Scorpius was back in the room of the brothel, with Scarlet worshipping him as if he was the god he had let her believe he was. For a moment, Scorpius was mad at himself for letting that happen.
He felt the urge to look at the doorway to see if Mrs Potter was staring at that scene, maybe with a horrified expression upon her face. She wasn’t there, luckily. He lowered his eyes to the girl who was still pushing herself against his legs. “Lily, no,” he pleaded, grasping gently her upper arms. “Stand up… don’t… please…”
She let him guide her to her feet and looked at him with her tear-stained face for a brief moment before she slid her pale arms around his chest. “I missed you so much,” she sobbed, pushing her head against his neck. “I thought you were mad at me… I thought you didn’t want to see me… I… I thought you hated me…”
Scorpius took a sharp breath at her admission. She thought he hated her. She did, and it was all his fault. He really was a horrible person; she surely could notice it already, couldn’t she? His arms closed around her tiny body and he leaned his cheek on the top of her head. “What?” he murmured crestfallen. “No… why… how could I ever hate you?”
She tilted her head back, and Scorpius’ warm hand went to brush away the tears on her face. He didn’t even notice he had moved, he just did it, just because he couldn’t bear the sight of her tears.
Not again.
“Because you had to suffer for me…” she sniffled. “Because of the Unforgivable Curse… because of what Mr Nott did to you… in the playroom…”
Scorpius closed his eyes and groaned. Merlin! He wasn’t worthy of those words! How could she think that he hated her because he had just taken an Unforgivable Curse for her, when she had been tortured and raped for him for hours?
He had to tell her what a horrible man he was. He couldn’t stand to lead her on any longer.
“Lily,” he murmured. “Can we talk?”
She nodded gently, lips parted once again in surprise, and unwrapped her arms from around his torso. She grasped his wrist and tried to guide him into her house, but Scorpius closed his fingers around her forearm and pulled her back gently. “No,” he murmured, “outside, please…”
She furrowed her brow, creasing her forehead in confusion at his request. But Scorpius needed some privacy. Maybe she would cry when he told her the truth, and certainly he didn’t want Mrs Potter to hex him because he had made her daughter cry.
And he just wanted to be alone with her. He wouldn’t have been able to tell her everything he thought, if someone was staring at the two of them.
He looked around himself. The garden of Twelve Grimmauld Place was small, just a postage-stamp sized piece of land compared to the park of the Manor, but there were a few trees and a little gazebo with some chairs and a small, wooden table. He walked her to them and turned to look at her. “Lily,” he murmured, “sit down, please… I… I need to talk to you…”
She pressed her lips together and nodded, sitting in a chair and bringing her knees to her chest, as she hugged her pretty yellow dress around her legs.
“How do you know?” she asked softly as he sat down opposite to her.
He bit his bottom lip. “How do I know what?” he murmured.
“How do you know that my name is Lily?” Her eyes were wide with expectation.
“I… I’ve known for a while… even before you did…” he replied quietly. “I found a picture of your mother at Hogwarts and she looked so much like you… and… I just knew it was you… I… I’m just sorry I didn’t understand that before…”
“Did I know you before?”
Scorpius shook his head softly. “I’ve only seen you once. I’ve seen you at King’s Cross when you accompanied your brothers, the week before you were taken.”
She smiled hopefully at him. “You remember that. I don’t… but you do…”
He nodded. “Yes,” he murmured, before taking a deep breath and looking into her eyes. “Lily, I have to tell you something,” he said decidedly.
She nodded softly. “Yes, everything you want, Scorpius,” she replied meekly.
He pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Lily,” he said, “Lily… I…” He bit his bottom lip as his voice trailed away. Was he ready to tell her? Was he ready to see her face screw up in horror? No, he wasn’t but he had to do it. “Lily, I’m not who you think I am,” he finally breathed out.
She cocked her head a little, a small frown creasing her forehead once again. “You are not Scorpius Malfoy?” she asked softly, her chin leaning thoughtfully on her knees.
Well, that was not a good start indeed. “No,” he replied, fidgeting in his lap. “I mean, yes. I am Scorpius Malfoy, but… I’m not… I’m not who you think I am.” He took another deep breath and added, “I’m not a knight. I’m not chivalrous… I am not a good man.” He looked away from her, because surely now she would start to look at him revolted by his admission and he couldn’t bear to see that expression on her face. “I don’t care about anybody but me… I am a selfish man… a slimy git… I…” His voice died in his throat. Did he have to go on or did she get it already?
“But I don’t understand,” replied Lily softly. “How can you not care about anybody but yourself if you… you came back for me?”
Scorpius darkened. “Yes, I came back for you, and what happened? You were… you were tortured and… abused and whipped… right before my eyes and I couldn’t…”
“I’m sorry,” whined Lily, sniffling. “I didn’t want you to see…”
Scorpius shook his head frantically. “That’s not what I meant,” he hurried to say. “I just… I didn’t want you to go through it for me… I wanted to be whipped at your place… I should have been. It was all my fault. All my fault… if he killed you I… I would have killed myself…”
She was silent just as she had been in the brothel and when Scorpius raised his eyes to look at her, he was surprised to find her kneeling in front of him. Her pretty dress probably getting all dirty on the grass. Another reason for her mother to hex him.
“Lily…”
She brought a hand to his face to cup it. “Oh no,” she whispered, “I’ve been punished so many times in the playroom… I knew he wasn’t going to kill me, I just knew… he liked to say that he was going to kill me, he told me every time… but I didn’t know about you, you know. What if he killed you? I wouldn’t have survived… But I thought… I thought you hated me because of what you saw… and because of the Unforgivable Curse you took for me…”
Scorpius swallowed. “I don’t hate you,” he replied quickly, placing a hand on hers. “If anything I love you.” He bit his bottom lip. What had he just said? He had never… never said that to anybody at all… He felt his cheeks go up in flames and surely she could feel the change in temperature under her palm. “I…”
“You love me?” she murmured shyly. “I love you too.”
For a moment, Scorpius wanted to tell her that she couldn’t love him. He was not lovable, he was not a nice person. But that was not what left his lips. “I… I wanted to kiss you so much,” he mumbled, “since the very first moment I saw you… I just wanted to kiss you… I dreamed about kissing you…” He lowered his eyes. What was he saying? That was not what he had meant! He shouldn’t say those things to her. What was wrong with him?
“Wouldn’t you kiss me now?” she murmured, her cheeks looked like they were on fire too now. “If you still want to…”
Scorpius swallowed, only to notice that his mouth was completely dry. “I… I… Lily… I don’t think…”
“Please…” she whispered, before she shyly lowered her eyes. “I want to kiss you too…”
Scorpius’ breath caught in his throat as he looked at her in surprise. “You do?” he asked breathily. He had never imagined that she would want to kiss him. She had surely been kissed more times than Scorpius had and he could not imagine them being loving kisses at all.
She raised her eyes again to look at him and nodded, then a soft smile curved her lips and she closed her eyes as she stretched her neck towards him, puckering her lips a little and expecting him to close the distance and finally confirming his assumptions on how soft and delicious her lips were.
Instead, he grabbed her upper arm and brought her up to her feet, before pulling her to him and making her sit in his lap, her feet dangling against his shin.
She placed her hands on his chest to steady herself and looked down at him with surprise and anticipation.
“Don’t you ever kneel in front of me,” he murmured softly, as he sneaked a hand up her back and cupped the nape of her neck. “Okay?”
She nodded softly. “Okay,” she replied breathily.
“Good,” he whispered as he stretched his neck and pulled her to him.
Her lips were soft.
And delicious.
And that moment right there, when their mouths met and Lily’s arms wrapped around his neck as she leant against his chest and her fingers grasped his robes, that moment was the moment that Scorpius knew that he was gone for her.
Utterly and completely gone. He just knew that.
His brain melted and suddenly he knew that he was already addicted to her. No matter what he told her, no matter what he told himself, he was gone. He was smitten. He had fallen for her.
He loved her.
The kiss was soft and delicate, she tasted of chocolate and she smelled of some kind of rose perfume. And despite the fact that his mouth was still dry, it was definitely the best kiss Scorpius had ever given any girl at all. And the best one he had ever received.
When he let her go, she let out a soft giggle and hid her face in the crook of his neck, her fingers going to play with his robes on his shoulder.
“Scorpius,” she breathed, and the warm air that she puffed out of her pretty lips tickled his neck and made his skin cover in gooseflesh.
“Yes?” he said softly, his fingers enlacing over her hip.
“Is it okay if I don’t believe you?” she asked shyly.
Scorpius felt his heart in his throat. “What…”
“When you say that you are not a knight,” she murmured, and surely she knew that she had some kind of power over him because she followed that statement by planting a small kiss over the pulsing vein under his ear, and he just melted in the chair as if he had no bones.
“Yes,” he replied blissfully, without even noticing that he was talking at all, “yes… it’s okay…” He wanted to tell her that she was his knight, instead, but he just couldn’t put the words together.
He turned his head to kiss the top of her head and only then noticed that Mrs Potter was making her way towards them, a soft smile playing on her lips.
Scorpius flushed the colour of Lily’s hair, but before he could even try to shift the girl in his lap into a less intimate position, Mrs Potter came to stand next to him. “Hello Scorpius,” she said softly, cocking her head. “Are you staying for dinner?”
Scorpius swallowed as he stared at her from over Lily’s head. “I… err… I…”
“Yes, yes, please,” said Lily promptly, eyes wide and begging as she raised her head from his shoulder. “Please, stay for dinner…”
He looked at her and smiled like an idiot. He couldn’t have stayed though; he didn’t want to disturb them. “I’d love that,” he murmured softly. What?
“Well, then,” said Mrs Potter with a smile, “if you need to use the Floo to let your mother know, there’s a fireplace in the living room.”
“Thank you,” he replied as Lily shuffled to her feet and offered him a hand to stand up.
“Can I show him the house, Mummy?” asked Lily, when Scorpius stood up as well and laced his fingers into hers. “And the rest of the garden?”
“Oh Scorpius has a huge garden at his house, Lily, you should see it,” said her mother thoughtfully, a grin splitting her face in two.
“Yes, you should come to see my house,” blurted out Scorpius without even noticing he was talking again. “I… I mean… if your mother wants you to…”
“Of course,” said Mrs Potter gently. “As long as you always bring her home in the evening.”
Lily let out a soft cry of joy and jumped at his neck, making Scorpius blush at her enthusiasm. “Yes! When can we go?” she asked, squeezing him tight.
“Tomorrow?” he suggested, without being able to keep a grin from invading his voice. “Or whenever you want, really.”
“Tomorrow,” she replied, nodding eagerly and kissing his cheek. “Please.”
Scorpius sighed contentedly. “Tomorrow,” he murmured. “Anything you want.”
When they walked inside, Mrs Potter let him use the fireplace to Floo Call his mother and Astoria sent over a tray of lemon cakes, from the kitchen of the Manor, to avoid giving the impression that her son had been raised by wild animals.
Then Lily showed him her house, and then a bit more of the garden, and then they had a tea break with the lemon cakes and Chocolate Frogs. And they sat outside under a tree and she read to him from The Tales of Beedle the Bard – he was glad that she hadn’t suggested to read from the second book of the saga of Viridina. And then they snogged a bit more. And finally, Albus and James came home and then Mr Potter – who talked to him about his Auror application and who had to brush away the tears as he whispered a hasty, “Thank you,” while Lily wasn’t looking – and then they all had dinner, and Scorpius said that the soup with little pieces of bacon and potatoes was delicious, and Lily’s smile seemed to brighten up even more at his admission.
And the next day Lily went to see him at the Manor and gasped at how gigantic the park was, and at how many books he had in the library, and at how long the dinner table was just for him and his mother, and at how many house-elves they had.
They sat outside on a bench and Scorpius laid his head on her lap as they looked at the redbreast robins drinking from the main fountain.
“Hmm,” Lily finally said.
“What?” asked Scorpius gently, eyes half-closed because of the sun.
“Scorpius,” she said all serious. “When I marry you, like Viridina and the knight, can we put a pond, like the one at the Burrow, near the orchard?”
He was silent for a long moment, and Lily stared at his face as he was deep in concentration. “Yes,” he finally said, as seriously as she did. “And then what else do you want?”
“A dog,” she replied, “and a library outside…”
“But then the books would get all wet when it rains,” he pointed out.
“But once I finish Hogwarts, I could charm them to stay dry all the time,” she said sensibly.
He smiled and closed his eyes. “You are right,” he murmured, “and then? What else do you want?”
And she told him and he agreed to everything she said. And they spent every single day of summer together, and Lily told him that she had never been happier.
And Scorpius knew that he hadn't either.
***
The corner where Scorpius had guided Lily to, on Platform 9 ¾, was not nearly as private as he had hoped. Children kept walking past them screaming incessantly, parents seemed to stop on purpose in front of them to fret where to put suitcases and cages of various shapes and sizes, and students kept whispering as they saw them. Someone even giggled and pointed, making Scorpius glare in their direction.
“I’m going to miss you,” whispered Lily, eyes shiny with tears, her hands on his chest.
“I’m going to miss you too,” he replied, cupping her cheeks. “But I promise I’ll come to visit every free weekend I have.”
She brushed away the tears with the back of her hand and nodded. “Every free one?” she asked shyly.
“Every free one,” he confirmed. “I just hope that your father doesn’t make me work each and every single one of them…”
She looked at him resolutely. “I’ll tell him not to,” she said seriously, disentangling from him to go and look for her father already.
Well, that would have been embarrassing: pleading his boss to have free weekends before he even started working. “No,” he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to him again. “I’m sure he won’t…” He smiled at her and she beamed back at him.
Merlin! She was beautiful! And she was all his. Scorpius still didn’t know what he had done to deserve her.
Well, okay, now he knew – Lily had explained it to him, and so had her mother and his own mother – but still… she seemed a reward much richer than what he should have merited for his actions.
He brushed some of her flaming locks from her eyes and lowered his head. Her lips were soft and wet and warm, and she still tasted of chocolate, her favourite food. He kissed her thoroughly, enveloping her in his arms and pulling her little body flat against his own. She wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed him back with equal passion, her little, coldish nose poking into his cheek.
“Malfoy, if you kiss my sister like that, I’ll have to hex you.”
He let her lips go and groaned as he squeezed her in his arms. “Get lost, Potter,” he grunted, looking at Albus darkly.
Lily giggled against his chest and he just hugged her more tightly against his chest.
“Can I say goodbye to my girlfriend properly?” asked Scorpius hotly.
“I don’t know,” said Albus, hands on his hips. “Does that involve a lot of tongue?”
Scorpius cocked an eyebrow. “What saying goodbye?”
Albus snorted and rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “You know what I mean.”
“Maybe,” he replied with a soft smirk. “Can you give us five more minutes?”
“Five,” replied Albus sternly. “Everybody wants to say goodbye to her.”
Scorpius nodded and looked as the raven-haired boy went back to the platform. He finally turned his attention back to Lily. “Where were we…?” he asked with a goofy smile upon his lips.
“Are you going to write to me?” she asked anxiously.
He placed a kiss on her forehead. “Every day,” he replied. “I’ll tell you everything that your father makes me do at the training, and how many times Rose bests me in basically every subject and… how much I miss you…”
He leant in close to her and kissed her again, trying to focus on the softness of her lips, on the way she tasted, on her smooth skin under his digits. But his head was light and his heart was pounding, and all he could do was let himself get lost in the overwhelming sensations.
When he let her go, she had her eyes closed and a soft smile wasupon her lips. He brought his mouth to her ear and, sighing, he whispered, “Let’s go.”
She nodded as she opened her bright brown eyes and beamed at him. He enlaced his fingers into hers and they started walking to where there was a little crowd of redheads.
“I’ve never had these many people coming to see me off,” grinned Hugo as they reached them.
Lily giggled out loud, but soon she was whisked away by her mother – who would have seen her anyway at the feast that evening, but who was naturally fretting to have to separate from her for the train ride – and then her father and her brothers and cousins and basically everybody, even Emeric Zabini, who had a date with Rose that evening and seemed unable to wipe a stupid smile off his face.
“Did you kiss her goodbye properly?” whispered Rose, with a grin, as she came to stand next to him.
“We were interrupted by your cousin,” he replied, shaking his head, “but she was properly kissed goodbye…”
Rose smiled again. “Lily,” she called her as soon as she saw that the sixteen-year-old had managed to disentangle herself from their Uncle Charlie. “I’ve got a present for you. Come here.”
Lily hurried back to where they were standing, her hand automatically searching for Scorpius’. Rose smiled as she produced two identical leather bound books. “One for you,” she said, giving one to Lily, “and one for you.” She handed the other one to Scorpius. “When you write on yours, Lily, Scorpius will see it straight away,” she explained, pulling out a quill and opening Lily’s diary to show her. “Like this,” she said, writing on the first page.
Scorpius’ diary started to vibrate gently in his hands and the word ‘Message’ appeared on the cover in bright letters. He opened it and stared.
“Great,” he snorted half-heartedly. “They work.”
Lily beamed and she threw her arms around Rose’s neck, thanking her with little kisses on her cheeks. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she chanted. She took Rose’s quill into her hand and turned her back to Scorpius, giggling the whole time she wrote in the diary.
Scorpius looked as the words appeared on the page under Rose’s message.
He smiled softly. “I’ll miss you, too,” he replied out loud, blushing.
Lily turned and let out a little cry of joy as she kissed his cheek gratefully.
But then the Hogwarts Express whistled loudly and soon Hugo was helping Lily on the train, and Scorpius found himself standing there waving goodbye with the others as he finally understood that she was leaving, and that he would only see her on the weekends. His free weekends. And that he was going to really miss her.
The train had only just left the platform, when the diary started to vibrate again in his hands. Scorpius chuckled as he opened it.
“Quill?” asked Rose casually, handing him one.
“Yeah,” he replied with a grin, taking the quill from her hand. He scratched his nose and started writing.
FIN