Archive of Our Own ^beta

"I'm home!" Dean says walking down the stairs and into the war room, setting the pizza and beer down.

"Hey, Dean. Ooh, is the food?" Sam asks, going straight for the pizza.

"Cas! Food is here!" Dean calls out when the fallen angel doesn't walk in. "You know where Cas is?"

"Uh, he's probably still in his room. He seemed upset earlier. I tried talking to him but he just ignored me." Sam answered before taking a bite of his pizza.

Dean sighed, "Alright, I'm gonna go see what's up with him."

Sam nods to show that he heard him and with that, Dean walks off.

~~~~

"Cas! Can I come in?" Dean asks after knocking on the door. There's no answer. "I'm coming in."

Dean opens the door and walks in, seeing Cas sitting on the bed with his back to the headboard, watching TV.

"Cas, there's food in there."

"Not hungry." Cas says, not looking away from the TV.

"What's up man?" Dean asks, sitting on the bed.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Cas, you of all people know that I know when someone's lying. And that, was definitely a lie."

"You wouldn't care."

Dean jerks his head back, his eyebrows creasing. "What do you mean I wouldn't care? Of course I would care. I wouldn't ask you what's wrong if I didn't care. I came in here to ask you what's wrong when I could be eating right now. And you know how much I love food."

"Well, this is something you wouldn't care about because you haven't realized it." Cas says sharply, looking at Dean.

"What have I not noticed?"

Cas just looks at the TV and doesn't answer.

"Cas? Really? You're going to give me the silent treatment?" No answer. "I'll take that as a yes. Well, I tried. There's food in the war room." Dean says, standing up.

Only after Dean has closed the door behind him does Cas look at the door, his eyes red.

~~~~

"What's wrong with Cas?" Sam asks Dean when he gets back in the war room.

"I don't know." Dean answers, getting a couple slices of pizza and a beer.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean, I don't know." Dean says, sitting down and taking a bite of pizza.

"You mean, he ignored you too?" Sam asked, surprised.

"He told me I wouldn't care because I haven't realized it." Dean says, looking at Sam.

"Did he tell you what you haven't realized?"

"No. I asked him what I didn't realize but he just turned back to the TV and ignored me."

"Hm. Didn't think he would do that to you."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Dean asks, looking at Sam.

"I'm just saying that Cas usually talks and listens to you more than he listens to anyone else."

"Apparently that's gone now." Dean says, taking a bite of pizza. And with that, they sit and eat in silence.

~~~~ Few Hours Later ~~~~

"I'm going out." Dean says, grabbing his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"Out." Dean answered, giving Sam a look, going towards the stairs.

"Ah. Have fun." Sam said, smirking.

"Will do." Dean says, going out the door.

Oblivious to the Winchesters, Cas stood watching the interaction. As anger filled him, his heart broke a little.

~~~~

Dean groaned as he sat up too fast, his head pounding. He got up, went to the bathroom to do his morning duties, got dressed, and made his way to the kitchen.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty's finally awake." Sam says, slightly loud.

Dean groaned and put his hand to his head. "God, quiet down."

Sam chuckled and continued to eat his cereal. Dean got himself a cup of coffee and sat down, putting his head on the table.

Sam got up, got something, and sat back down.

He smirked as he put a pill bottle on the table down loudly and slid it over to Dean, "This might help."

"Ugh, I hate you." Dean groaned, lifting his head up and taking the pill bottle.

As Dean took a couple of the pills, Cas walks in.

"Morning Grumpy, you done giving us the silent treatment?" Dean asks. Cas glares at him before going for the coffee. "I'll take that as a no."

"Cas, c'mon man. What's up? I'll leave if you want it just to be you and Dean but you gotta tell us what's wrong." Sam says.

"I don't have to tell you anything." Cas says, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"He speaks!" Dean says.

"Dean, you're not helping. Cas, c'mon. What's wrong? Please tell us, or at least one of us."

Cas' answer is walking out with a cup of coffee.

Sam sighs, "What do you think is wrong with him? Is there anything you can think of that you might've not realized?"

"I have no clue." Dean said, taking a sip of coffee.

~~~~ Around Night Time ~~~~

"Has he come out of his room at all today except for this morning?" Sam asked Dean.

"Nope." Dean answered, popping the 'p.'

"You want me to try to talk to him again before I go to bed." Sam volunteered.

"Nah, I'll do it." Dean said.

"Alright. Goodnight." Sam said, turning to go to his room.

"Night, bitch." Dean smirked, turning to go to Cas' room.

Sam huffed a laugh, "Jerk."

~~~~

"Cas! Can I come in?" Dean asks, knocking on the door. After a few moments without an answer, Dean opens the door and walks in.

"What do you want?" Cas asks, not looking at Dean.

"I want to know what I didn't realize. I want to fix it. I don't want you mad at me. Please, Cas. Please tell me what did I do, or not do."

Cas got up, stood in front of Dean, getting in his personal space and spoke.

"What was it that you did yesterday?"

"Uh, I got food, tried talking to you, then I went out." Dean answered.

"What exactly did you do when you went out?"

"I went to the bar and picked up a girl."

"And for the past month and a half, correct me if I'm wrong, you have been doing that same thing at least 15 times, correct?"

"Uh, yeah. Why did you keep track of that? That's just creepy."

"Because that is what's bothering me!" Cas says, loudly.

"What? Why would that bother you? I don't bring them back here, I take them to a motel." Dean asks, confused.

"How have you not noticed by now?! I'm an angel that even after being around humans for as long as I can remember and I can realize it! The only two reasons for why you haven't is if you don't feel it or you are even more blind than an angel! And I really hope that it's the second option." Cas says loudly, quieting down on the last sentence.

"Cas, I'm not saying it's the first option but I'm not saying it's the second one but, what is it? What are you feeling that's making you mad at me?" Dean says quietly.

"You can't see that I love you! You can't see that every single time that you go and pick up a girl, my heart breaks a little more! You can't see that you are mine! " Cas yells.

Dean's mouth falls open a little and stares blankly at Cas. He loves me? He loves me, too?

After a few moments of silence, Cas steps back and lets his head fall, the tears in his eyes about to fall.

"I'll- uh. I'll just go, now. I know that you probably don't want me around anymore and I don't think that I can stay around you go get more girls anymore. I'm just going to go say goodbye to Sam. You can still call me if you need me." Cas says, looking down, holding back tears.

Cas' words snapped Dean back into the world, "Wait, Cas. No, I don't want you to leave."

"I can't be around you after this, Dean. I can't, I can't..." Cas says, failing at holding his tears back.

Dean tilts his head to make eye contact with Cas, "Could you be around me if I told you that I loved you too?"

"I don't want you to just say it so I don't leave. I need you to mean it." Cas says, telling himself that he didn't just hear what Dean just said.

"Cas, I do mean it. I love you. I think I always have but I just didn't think that you would feel the same. When you were dying after you'd been stabbed by that Prince of Hell, after you told us that you loved us, I wanted to tell you that I loved you as well so badly. When you- When you died, I regretted not telling you that I loved you. Not being able to stop it. Not-" Dean babbled on, tears coming to his eyes, before Cas cuts him off with a finger on the lips.

"You couldn't have done anything. On either time. Don't blame yourself, please." Cas says, cupping Dean's face with his hands.

Dean holds Cas' face, staring into the bright blue eyes of his angel. "Cas?"

"Yes?"

"May I kiss you?"

"Please."

And with that, Dean moves his head down and slots his lips to Cas'. Both Dean and Cas had never really believed the 'fireworks when kissing someone' thing but they sure as hell did in that moment.

Cas pulled back just enough to look into Dean's bright green eyes and whispered, "I love you, Dean Winchester."

"I love you too, Castiel." Dean whispered just as quietly, starting to smile. Seeing the smile on Dean's face makes Cas smile and soon they're grinning at each other.

"Why did it take us this long?" Cas asked.

"'Cause we're big, dumb idiots who don't like facing their feelings." Dean answered, chuckling.

Cas chuckled, "Well, now we can face them together."

They stood there for a few moments before Dean tilted his head to kiss Cas. Dean slid his hand down to cup Cas' ass, causing Cas to open his mouth on a moan. The moan gave Dean the opportunity to slip his tongue into Cas' mouth, twining it with Cas'.

Cas slips his hands down and under Dean's shirt, moving his hands up to play with the sensitive nipples. Dean moaned as soon as his nipples were touched.

"Clothes, off." Dean ordered, starting to unbutton Cas' shirt. Cas starts to do the same with Dean's shirt.

Soon enough they are both naked, going towards the bed. Cas falls back onto the bed, Dean falling on top of him. They both groan as Dean grinds their cocks together.

"Fuck." Dean curses.

"What?" Cas asked.

"You wouldn't have any lube in here by chance, would you?"

"Hold on." Cas says before disappearing, Dean collapsing on the bed where he was.

"What the-" Dean says, before Cas reappears with a tube of lube in his hand. "Where did- Is that my lube?"

"Yes." Cas says before tossing the lube to Dean. He gets back on the bed, going to kiss Dean again. "Now, where were we?"

Dean smiles and kisses Cas again. Cas pushes Dean down onto the bed and straddles him. He starts to make his way down Dean's body, stopping at Dean's nipples to suck and bite at them.

"Fuck, that feels good. How many times have done this, Cas?" Dean groans.

Cas pauses and looks up at Dean, "In general, just with the reaper when I was human. This will be my first time with a man."

"Do you want me to fuck you or would you rather do the fucking?" Dean asked.

"What do you want?" Cas asked.

"You choose. I'm fine with either." Dean offered.

"If it's alright, I would like to fuck you." Cas answered.

If Dean's eyes could've gotten any darker, then they would've. He swallowed before telling Cas, "Of course it's alright. To be honest, I may or may not have been hoping that you would say that."

"Just one thing." Cas said shyly.

"What?"

"I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." Cas answered, blushing.

"Lube your fingers and stretch me." Dean told Cas, putting a pillow under his hips and spreading his legs. Cas grabbed the lube and spread some over his fingers.

"Before I do this, may I try something real quick?" Cas asked, looking at Dean.

"Uh, sure." Dean said.

Cas smirked before moving his head down.

"Fuck!" Dean cried out as Cas flicked his tongue over his hole. The sound of pleasure encouraged Cas to double his efforts. Cas started to lick all around Dean's hole, causing Dean to moan and cry out. "Fuck, Cas! Please! Need more! Need your fingers! Need your cock!"

At Dean's words, Cas moaned around Dean's hole, making Dean cry out even more. Cas put one of his fingers at Dean's entrance, slowly pushing it in.

Dean didn't even tense, his body easily letting Cas' finger in. Cas moved his finger around before hearing Dean cry out as he found his sweet spot.

"Cas! Do that again! Please! Oh fuck !" Dean moaned, bucking his hips. Cas used his grace to keep Dean's hips in place while he used one hand to fuck Dean and one to stroke his cock. Another finger slipped into Dean as Cas took the tip of Dean's cock into his mouth, sucking on the head.

"Cas! Fuck, if you don't... fuck ... if you don't stop, I'm going to come." Dean warns, feeling the familiar tightening at the base of his spine.

Cas looks up at Dean, his blue eyes bright as ever and smirks, "That's the point."

"Agh fuck! Cas! I- I'm gonna- Cas!" Dean cried out, coming hard, shooting come into Cas' mouth. Cas swallowed what he could of Dean's release, the rest slipped down his chin and Dean's cock.

Cas licked Dean clean before going up his body, kissing Dean. Dean moaned at the taste of himself on his tongue.

"Are you ready?" Cas asks, pulling away from the kiss to look into Dean's eyes.

"Yes." Dean whispers. "Go slow."

Cas nods and positions himself at Dean's entrance before thrusting in. Dean gasps at the pleasure-pain at the first breach. Just like with Cas' fingers, Dean's body doesn't tense and lets Cas in, like he was made to take him.

They both groan the moment Cas bottoms out.

"Oh god, Cas." Dean sobs, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Dean. Look at me." Cas says, continuing when Dean opens his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Perfect. Though I'll be even more perfect if you move." Dean says, smirking.

Cas pulls back until the only the tip is inside Dean before thrusting his hips forward, making Dean gasp.

"Fuck, Cas!" Dean moans, feeling himself stretch around Cas' cock. Cas sets a slow, hard pace.

"I am." Cas snarks, punctuating each word with a hard thrust, making Dean cry out.

"I- I don't think I'm gonna last long. Ah!" Dean groans.

"Neither am I." Cas growls, tilting his hips, hitting Dean's sweet spot.

"Cas! Fuck! Do that again! Oh god!" Dean cries out.

The hunter's orgasm rushes towards him as the angel repeatedly hits his prostate. The sounds coming from Dean make Cas struggle to stem his orgasm off.

Dean shouts Cas' name loud as he comes so hard he sees stars, holding Cas close to him. The look on Dean's face and the feeling of his hole constricting around his cock, push Cas over the edge, making him groan.

The two lay there for a few minutes holding each other, catching their breath. Cas slowly moves back, pulling his spent cock from Dean's slightly gaping hole before laying down next to Dean, pulling Dean close.

"That was..." Dean starts.

"Yeah, it was." Cas finishes.

"We should probably go clean up." Dean mentions. Cas snaps his fingers and both of them are clean. "Hm. Never mind then." Dean yawns, snuggling close to Cas.

"Get some sleep, Dean." Cas says, holding onto Dean.

"You'll be here when I wake up, right?" Dean asks, looking up at Cas.

"Of course I will. I wouldn't leave even if you told me to. Plus, this is my room, so..." Cas says, smiling.

Dean chuckles, "That's true. I love you, Cas."

"I love you too, Dean." Cas says back, watching Dean fall asleep. The both of them being where they've always wanted to be and where they always will be.

~~~~

Cas and Dean are curled up on their bed the next morning when Sam walks in to see where they were.

Sam starts smiling, happy for two reasons. One, happy that they are happy together, knowing his brother has found the love of his life. Two, he doesn't have to deal with all the longing looks all the time.