Chapter Text
Alexia’s scream followed her from the nightmare into the waking world. It wasn’t long until she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders and in a blind panic she attempted to strike the person who in her mind was trying to restrain her. Her sloppily thrown punch didn’t connect but it did get the person trying to hold her down to move away. Once they were gone, her senses returned to her and she remembered where she was. Her chest rose and fell heavily as she tried to get herself under control.
“Alexia?” A soft but familiar voice reached her eyes.
She rubbed her eyes before looking in the direction the voice came from.
Standing just a few feet from the couch was her mom. Only not her mom. Yet at the same time, she was technically her mom. Alexia’s head throbbed as her thoughts raced.
“Alexia.” Kara’s voice was filled with concern as she took in the young woman’s disheveled appearance. “Did you… have a nightmare?” It was a silly question to even ask but she didn’t know what else to say. It was clear to Kara that Alexia had been suffering from a nightmare. Whatever that nightmare had been, it seemed to have truly terrified her. She had arrived in the living room just as Alexia had been arching up off the couch, the scream that she had let out chilled Kara to the bone. Reacting on instinct she had placed her hands-on Alexia. Admittedly, that was probably the wrong thing to do but it wasn’t like she had much experience in this kind of situation.
The wild look in Alexia’s eyes had quickly been followed by a sloppy punch, which she had dodged easily. After that, she had just stood nearby with a worried look on her face and called Alexia’s name to get her attention.
“Mom?” Alexia’s voice was hoarse. Kara’s question clicked into her mind, “Yeah… sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Her voice and eyes conveyed her remorse for waking her mom up.
“You don’t have to apologize for having a nightmare,” Kara said calmly while mentally patting herself on the back for no outwardly reacting to being called mom. “Would you like some water?” She asked with a reassuring smile on her face.
“Please and thank you.” Alexia returned Kara’s smile with one of her own. Once Kara’s back was to her, she lowered her eyes to the coffee table and all she could think about was the last horrifying moments of her nightmare. Her mom’s kind face with a giant hole in her forehead. Her hands clenched into fists and she took a deep breath to calm down.
Kara glanced over her shoulder and frowned.
‘First things first.’ Kara thought as she turned her head back around and went to the fridge. ‘Get her a bottle of water and then we can talk about the nightmare if she wants.’ It seemed like the prospect of her getting any sleep tonight had vanished into thin air. Not that she minded. Kara was willing to lose some sleep if it meant trying to help the troubled soul sitting on her couch.
Alexia unclenched her fists and shifted her hands, so her palms were facing upwards. It wasn’t long before her eyes began to water as the nightmare played over and over in her mind. She could almost taste the blood in her mouth again. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fucking fair. The waking world had been a living nightmare for years and even now that she had avenged her parents, she still couldn’t sleep peacefully. Maybe with time, she would be able to find rest. It hadn’t been that long ago since she tossed Max Lord off a building. Well, her world’s Maxwell Lord.
Her hands twitched.
She really needed to explain to this Earth’s version of her mom that while she was technically from the future, it wasn’t this Earth’s future.
‘That is going to be a very confusing and complicated conversation.’ Alexia thought as she brushed away the tears that had started to slowly roll down her face. ‘I’ll have to make sure I’m prepared first. With a lot more than some pictures.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m surprised that she believes me at all. Does that make her naïve? Maybe, but it was better than having her turn me away. I don’t think I could take that.’
While she had expected to be tossed out of the apartment the moment she was done giving a bare-bones explanation of the death and destruction she caused in her quest for revenge, Alexia was unsure if she truly would’ve been able to cope with it.
Alexia was brought out of her thoughts as a bottle of water was held out to her.
“Thanks,” Alexia said sincerely while reaching out and taking the water bottle.
“You’re welcome.” Kara’s warm words were followed with an equally warm smile.
The smile helps put Alexia at ease as she took a big gulp of water. It had been so long since she had seen that smile in person instead of on a picture or an old recording. They couldn’t compare to seeing it once again in person.
“May I sit next to you?” Kara asked gently. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Alexia further. She had her own experience with nightmares that were so bad she woke up screaming. Rao, how many times had she dreamed up Krypton exploding when she first arrived on Earth and was taken in by Danvers?
“Of course.” Alexia’s voice held an edge of confusion. “It’s your couch after all.”
“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable. If that makes any sense. I’m trying to uh…” Kara trailed off as she sat down. She bit her lip as she tried to think of the right word to use. Her eyes brightened as the word came to her. “Respect your boundaries.”
“Oh… is this because I tried to punch you?” Alexia’s facial expression became apologetic. “I didn’t mean to do that. I wasn’t… I wasn’t fully awake yet and I was just lashing out. Sorry.”
“Alexia I need you to listen to me,” Kara said sternly as she turned her body, so she could face Alexia. The resolve face was firmly in place. “You do not have to apologize for lashing out like that. You were in a panicked state Alexia. I screwed up by trying to put my hands on you, but I didn’t know how else to react.” Kara reached up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. “I’ve had my fair share of nightmares. Night terrors. I’ve woken up screaming more times than I can count.” For a moment, Krypton exploding filled her vision. She shook her head and dispelled the image. “Almost every night after I landed on Earth was filled with terror. Every time I closed my eyes I could see my world crumbling. All of it gone in an instant. Thousands upon thousands of years of civilization…” She lifted her right hand and snapped her fingers while holding eye contact with Alexia. “Gone. Like that.”
Kara noticed how tense Alexia had become over the course of her own story with nightmares. She let out a soft sigh and spoke again, this time in a softer tone. “I hope you are not coming to the conclusion that your pain and your nightmares are nothing compared to mine because that isn’t true at all.” Deciding to take a chance, she scooted an inch closer to Alexia. “However, this isn’t about me. This is about you. May I put my hand on your knee?”
Alexia took another quick sip of water. Even after it she still had a deer in the headlights look on her face at Kara’s question. Not trusting herself to speak, she simply nodded instead.
“Thank you.” Kara placed her hand on Alexia’s knee. Hoping that it provided some amount of comfort and reassurance. “Now… would you like to tell me about the nightmare?”
‘Not really.’ Alexia thought while her gaze darted down to the comforting hand on her knee. She could come up with an entire list of things she would rather do than re-tell the horror she had experienced. Even though it had been one of the tamer night terrors that had plagued her, it still didn’t make it any easier to talk about. She pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek. Almost tasting the blood all over again. She knew that if she refused to talk about it there was a possibility that Kara, her mom yet not mom, would press her on the matter. Before when she had nightmares such as this, she hadn’t really had anyone to talk to. Except Kelex and while she loved her robot friend, he couldn’t have provided her with the comfort she had needed. Or at least that is what she told herself. Maybe she had just been too afraid to talk about them.
Alexia was going to refuse the offer until she caught the soft and understanding look in Kara’s eyes.
“It started with me… waking up in my old bedroom.” She said hesitantly but after an encouraging nod from this world’s version of her mother she continued, “It was so vivid. I think that might be one of the worst things about it. It looked real. It felt real.” Alexia turned away from Kara, ashamed at herself. “I can’t believe that it made me forget all that had happened…”
“You wanted it to be real,” Kara whispered before squeezing Alexia’s knee. “That is understandable Alexia. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over that.” The first thing that popped up in Kara’s mind was that vile plant, Black Mercy. It had made her dream that Krypton hadn’t exploded. That she hadn’t been sent to Earth. That everything had been okay. If not for Alex, she wouldn’t have ever seen passed the façade. The Black Mercy’s grip on her had been strong. After she was freed from its control the old sadness had landed on her like a dozen heavy boulders. Once again, she had lost her world and her family. Even if it had all been a lie. The dream world the Black Mercy had shown her had still opened up old wounds.
‘Is she thinking about the Black Mercy?’ Alexia didn’t want to bring it up in case she was wrong. Deciding that it was best to continue if for no other reason than to take her mother’s mind off the Black Mercy, she opened her mouth to speak, “You’re right.” She admitted. Kara was right after all. She had wanted it to be real. Even now she wanted to just wake up in her old bed and have her parents standing by her bedside. Ready to tell her that this had all just been some vivid nightmare or perhaps some magi had put a curse on her to get back at them.
“Of course, I am,” Kara said with a playful smile.
Alexia’s lips twitched. “Anyway, I was just about to start looking around my room again when I heard…” She paused briefly and instead of taking the time to think over the questioned that had popped into her mind, she spoke in a rush to cover up the pause. “My mom’s voice. Your voice.” Alexia added that last part on quietly. Not that it mattered as Kara heard it without any trouble.
“What did I say?” Kara made sure to keep her voice steady as she asked her question.
“You told me to come downstairs and eat my breakfast.” There was a noticeable difference in Alexia’s voice as she answered the Girl of Steel’s question. Pained. She sounded pained. “The promise of food was enough for me to quickly push aside all my worries and head downstairs for breakfast.” She shrugged slightly. The look of shock on Kara’s face caused Alexia’s smile to return only this time it was a little bigger. “You finally mastered the art of cooking.”
“Are you sure?” Kara removed her hand from Alexia’s knee and leaned back to give the younger Kryptonian an amused look.
“I promise,” Alexia said in assurance while lifting her hands up in mock surrender. A feeling of content washed over her. The feelings that the nightmare had drudged up were still there though. The anger, pain, and sadness. However, sitting here with this world’s version of her mother. Sitting here with her mom was enough to dull those feelings. Even if it was only temporary.
Kara was spending the quiet moment between them in a different way. Her attempts at cooking in the past had all ended in failure. Something that Alex enjoyed teasing her about. Especially that one time she tried to pop popcorn with her heat vision. Luckily, they had been able to clean up the mess and the only question Eliza had ever asked was why the kitchen smelled like burnt popcorn? To hear that she had finally been able to learn how to cook at some time in the future was something she hadn’t expected.
“When I got to the kitchen everything was fine.” Alexia’s words brought Kara out of her thoughts. “Except dad was missing but it wasn’t unusual for one of you to stay behind with me as the other went off to deal with whatever the threat happened to be. Neither of you liked the idea of leaving me alone.” She smiled at Kara while doing her best to ignore the prickling in her eyes that informed her that tears were starting to form again. “You greeted me with a happy ‘Good morning, Lexi’ and told me that breakfast was over on the table.” Alexia reached up to wipe her eyes.
“Lexi? I like it.” Kara reached out without even thinking until she was already brushing her hand through Alexia’s hair. Once she realized what she was doing she almost pulled her hand back and apologized for what she was doing but the look in Alexia’s teary blue eyes stopped her from doing so. All she had wanted to do was try and give the troubled young woman, her daughter, a bit of comfort.
Alexia had been focused on wiping her tears away while also mentally telling herself to stop crying to notice the hand reaching out to her. When she felt the soft hand brush through her hair, it took her back to all those times she had been comforted by her mother. It caused a lump to form in her throat and her eyes to water even more. No. No. No. No matter how much she wanted to break down, it just wasn’t an option. Instead of breaking down into sobs, tears silently rolled down her face as she leaned into Kara’s hand. Wanting the touch to never leave.
“I’m so sorry.” Kara stuttered out but didn’t remove her hand from the side of Alexia’s head.
“No… you don’t have to be sorry.” Alexia choked out before taking a deep breath. Once she spoke again, her voice was full of sincerity. “Thank you. I can’t thank you enough for letting me into your home. For believing me when all I brought were some pictures. I… would like to think I was prepared for the inevitable. At least what I thought was inevitable, you simply tossing me out at best. Us brawling at worst.”
“Fighting you again wasn’t even on my to do list.” Kara moved her hand from Alexia’s head to her shoulder. “I wanted to find you. To make sure you were alright and remember, this was without me even knowing about you… possibly being my daughter.” She noticed Alexia’s face fell slightly so she rushed on, “I would say I am 90% sure that you are. I can see it. Especially your eyes… we have the same eyes. I just want Alex to do a simple DNA test.”
“Yeah… yeah okay.” The heaviness that had come at the word ‘possibly’ went away as quickly as it had appeared. “I don’t mind.” She couldn’t wait to see Aunt Alex again.
Kara let out a soft breath of relief. She had thought Alexia would be reluctant about any DNA testing. “Thank you.” She smiled warmly at Alexia. Alexia returned her smile with a small one of her own.
“Do you uh…” Alexia took another sip of water, idly noting that her bottle was already almost empty. “Want to know the rest of the nightmare or…?”
“Of course, I do,” Kara said firmly while giving Alexia’s shoulder a squeeze. “Sorry. I don’t mean to keep interrupting.”
Alexia nodded in acknowledgment. “After the greeting, you pointed out to me that breakfast was over on the table and I should eat up.” Another small smile graced her face. “Three pancakes covered in syrup on one plate. On the other plate right next to it was scrambled eggs and toast.”
“Sounds amazing.” The Girl of Steel sighed dreamily which got Alexia to let out a short laugh. Something that Kara chalked up as a win. She couldn’t help but wonder when this young woman across from her had let out a long genuine laugh. “Were you drinking coffee with all that?”
“Ugh.” Alexia wrinkled her nose in disgust. “No way. Orange juice all the way.”
“You don’t like coffee?” Kara knew she was interrupting again but as a staunch lover of pumpkin spice lattes with extra foam and sprinkled with cinnamon, she just had to know.
“I recognize that look,” Alexia said instead of answering the question. “Huh… haven’t seen it in a long time yet… it’s the same.”
“Look?” Kara asked in confusion. “What look?”
“The ‘my daughter doesn’t like coffee’ look.” Alexia blinked and tilted her head to the side as she stared at Kara. “At least that is what I called it. You probably give it to anyone who says they don’t like coffee.”
“I have a look for that?” Kara asked skeptically.
“You do,” Alexia confirmed with a smirk. She waited a few seconds before speaking again, this time continuing with her nightmare. “At the sight of orange juice and food, I couldn’t help but rush over to the table. I pulled out a chair and sat down, instantly picking up that glass of orange juice.” She reached up and scratched her cheek as it had started to itch suddenly. “Everything was fine and normal. I took a sip. Tasted like regular orange juice.”
She took a deep breath before continuing, “I thought of something stupid and it made me giggle. You asked what I was laughing about, and I just replied with it being too stupid to explain.” She held up a hand to stop Kara from asking. Alexia managed to fight back the smile that threatened to appear on her face at the pout she received. “No, I won’t explain it to you either. Anyway, after telling you not to worry about it I picked up my fork and started cutting up my pancakes.”
Alexia shuddered.
“That is when everything took a turn for the worse.” Kara noticed that Alexia had started to look ill. “After putting a fork full of pancake into my mouth… instead of syrup goodness… my mouth felt as if it was full of…” She almost gagged remembering the taste. “Oh, fuck it my mouth was full of blood. The syrup on the pancake had turned into blood!”
“Blood?!” Kara exclaimed, eyes wide with shock.
“Yeah. Blood. Rao, there was so much. Sure, there had been a lot of syrup on the pancake but with whatever happened in this nightmare had not only turned the syrup into blood… it had…” Alexia hunched over, her hands gripping her knees. She could almost feel and taste the blood in her mouth again. Rao make it stop! Alexia could feel the urge to gag again rising.
“Hey… hey!” Kara reached out and placed her hands-on Alexia’s shoulders. “Breathe. Just breathe.”
Alexia didn’t respond, instead, she just did as she was instructed. Thankfully it worked, and the feeling went away. She decided to finish off the rest of her water before continuing with the retelling of her nightmare.
Kara removed her hands from Alexia’s shoulders and took the empty water bottle from her. While Alexia started to speak again, she turned and placed the bottle on the coffee table.
“By that point, I was freaking out. I had already spat out the pancake, blood was running down my chin and not only had the syrup in my mouth turned to blood but the syrup on the pancakes had also turned to blood.” Alexia ran her hands through her hair. “I had gotten up out of the chair so fast that it was sent flying backward. Pretty sure I broke it. Heh. Now… I wasn’t really acting on logic. My mouth had been full of blood and the taste was driving me crazy. So, what did I do? Well, there was a nice big glass of orange juice in front of me.” Alexia noticed that Kara’s brow was furrowed. “I know… orange juice is great but even I’m unsure if it would be a good thing to use to wash away the taste of blood. Not that I was really thinking as I took a big gulp from the glass… only to be met with more blood instead of orange juice.”
If Alexia was being honest with herself, she had expected to have another somewhat violent reaction to admitting that. Before when she had mentioned the syrup on the piece of pancake turning into blood, she had almost tasted it on her tongue once again. This time there was none of that. She didn’t have the urge to gag or anything. Maybe it was because the more she talked about it, the less impactful the nightmare became?
Whatever it was, she was grateful for it.
“I feel sick just thinking about it.” Kara looked a little green as she spoke.
“Same.” Even though it didn’t feel as if the blood was in her mouth again, the thought of it still made her stomach feel funny. Alexia shifted a little before continuing with re-telling the nightmare. “Instantly I spit out the blood and dropped the glass out of shock. I thought… I thought we were under attack. This had to be one of the villains that you and dad had fought over the years. One with magic on their side ya know?” She licked her bottom lip and turned her head away from Kara. “I was… scared. As I whirled around I called out for... you. I didn’t know what to expect. Perhaps you had been taken as revenge for stopping the villain’s scheme? Or maybe you had rushed out to fight the intruder. Except… none of that was true.”
“W-was I… gone?” Kara resisted the urge to reach out to grab Alexia and force her to turn back around.
“No… no, you were still there. Cleaning the dishes as if nothing was wrong.” Alexia turned her head back around to look at Kara. “There I was totally freaking the fuck out with blood on my chin, a shattered glass of orange juice turned to blood on the ground, and I had accidentally destroyed one of the chairs.”
Kara blinked in confusion before tilting her head to the side, “I wasn’t reacting? Just kept cleaning the dishes?”
Alexia nodded. “That is exactly what you were doing. Which freaked me out more than the fact my food and drink had become blood. I called out to you… and you answered with a ‘Yes, Honey?’ while drying one of the plates.”
“What happened next?” Kara knew that the climax of this nightmare was coming up. The part that had horrified Alexia to the point she had woken up screaming.
“My thoughts were racing. I wanted to rush over and demand why you weren’t freaking out with me. Demand to know why you were acting as if everything was okay. I’ll admit it I was… it scared me. The way you… she… whatever was acting scared me. However, I couldn’t move. No matter how hard I tried to force my body to move I couldn’t. Even my eyes wouldn’t close. You put the plate down and turned to face me. Everything seemed normal at first… until I looked at your forehead… that is when it all came rushing back.”
‘Oh no.’ Alexia thought as the memories started to rush forward again. Just like in the nightmare. Her whole body tensed up and she tried to prepare herself for the onslaught of painful memories.
Out of nowhere, there was a strong grip on her hand. Strong enough that if she had been a human or a variety of other species, her hand would be one hundred percent shattered. The grip centered her in the present and managed to chase away the hellish images that had haunted her for years. Alexia looked down at her right hand as it was the one being squeezed. She lifted her gaze and made eye contact with Kara.
“I could see it… the look in your eyes.” Kara was proud that she had managed to make her voice remain calm. “You were going to be a million miles away.”
“The you… in my nightmare… was so calm. Like nothing was wrong. You even asked, ‘What’s the matter, Alexia?’” Alexia began to squeeze on Kara’s hand as she talked. “Your forehead… that hole… where the Kryptonite bullet went through. Like I said before… that is when it all came rushing back. That’s when I woke up…”
Kara wished she knew what to say that would help wipe that look of despair on Alexia’s face. Instead of trying to think up something heartwarming to say. The Girl of Steel decided to use actions over words. She tugged on Alexia’s hand and gently pulled her into a hug. When Alexia didn’t react right away she started to worry that she had crossed some line. Her worry was unfounded as a few seconds later, Alexia lifted her shaking arms and wrapped them around Kara to hug her back.
Alexia’s hug quickly became a ‘bear hug’ as she squeezed Kara with almost all her strength. When she had first been pulled into the hug she had wanted to resist. An impulse that had quickly faded when she realized that it was her mom hugging her. By Rao, she latched onto that thought just like she latched onto Kara. She trembled in Kara’s grasp and the urge to start sobbing was slowly creeping up, but she managed to hold it back.
For nearly five minutes the two of them hugged.
When out of nowhere Princess Anna of Arendelle singing broke the silence causing the two Kryptonians to jump.
“Alex?” Kara mumbled in confusion before pulling back from the hug and getting up to head to her bedroom, where her phone was resting on the nightstand.
Alexia remained seated on the couch with a frown on her face. Not liking that the hug had ended so abruptly. She wondered why Aunt Alex was calling now of all times.