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“Tomoya, have you ever been on a date?”
Robo blinks at him, passive as always. Tomoya doesn’t understand how Robo never gets worked up about anything, aside from getting a shot under par. Before they joined the golf club, Tomoya didn't know Robo was even capable of getting worked up. He probably would have joked that Robo would get about as worked up for sex as he would the weather.
Well. He would have if he had the courage to say that sort of thing out loud. But in his head, Tomoya makes very funny jokes.
“A date?” Tomoya repeats. “Why are you asking about that?”
“Youzan asked me out,” Robo says. He blinks. “So I was wondering what dates are like.”
Tomoya nearly falls out of his chair, but settles for flailing around a little. The best amateur golfer in Japan asked Robo out? The best amateur golfer in Japan liked dudes like that? Robo liked dudes like that? “Youzan?!”
Robo blinks again. “Does that mean you don’t know what dates are like? That’s all right, Tomoya. I’ll just ask someone else.” Robo looks around their classroom and zeroes in on their class rep, a blonde girl who went to karaoke with Robo one time. He starts to march over to her in a straight line, and Tomoya just barely manages to get an arm around his waist to drag him back.
“Sorry about my friend…’s everything,” Tomoya says, bowing apologetically as he drags Robo away. He takes a deep breath and nods his head, rounding on Robo and putting his hands on Robo’s shoulders. “I haven’t been out on any dates, but you can’t just approach strangers for romantic advice.”
“Why?”
“They’ll take it the wrong way!”
“Which way will they take it?”
Tomoya looks at the ceiling and mentally screams to the heavens. “The wrong way,” he says. “No more questions, just accept it. Anyway, we’ll figure out what you’re supposed to do. To the library!”
The chime signaling the end of lunch goes off.
“To the library after school!” Tomoya declares, and guides Robo back to his seat.
*
Three days later, Tomoya hides in some bushes and listens from the surveillance equipment he’d strapped to Robo’s chest, just to make sure Robo had really learned from all those etiquette books. The date with Youzan seems to be going well: Robo gave Youzan a single rose when they met at the cat café, he pulled out Youzan’s seat for him, he allowed Youzan to choose the first cat to pet, and when Youzan told him he was politer than he’d expected, Robo told him he just wanted to impress Youzan.
“You already impress me,” Youzan says. “Your golf impresses me, and I like you very much. To tell the truth, when I asked you out, I just thought we might make out for a couple of hours.”
Robo stands right up and the cat in his lap tumbles off with a disgruntled yowl. “Let’s do that instead. Have you made out a lot before, Youzan-kun?”
Youzan laughs. “No.”
“So are we going to the library to learn how to make out?”
“No,” Youzan says again. “I thought hands-on experience might be more fun.”
Robo shrugs. “Okay.” And they leave the cat café without buying anything, which Tomoya thinks is pretty rude. He watches as Youzan tugs Robo around to the back of the building, until he can’t see them, which is a relief until the sounds start up.
“Take off the surveillance equipment,” Tomoya hisses into his mouthpiece. “Take it off.”
Robo either pretends not to hear him or is too busy kissing Youzan to pay attention to Tomoya anymore.
Tomoya pulls his headset off in disgust. Courtesy is a lost art.