Chapter Text
“What do you think?” Natasha asked, eyeing Tones critically.
Tones picked up the coffee and swirled it, watching the play of white and cream roll together, then brought it to his lips and took a careful taste. His eyes lit up as the sweetness of caramel and something softer that he couldn’t define rolled across his tongue. The two flavors blended together wonderfully, helped along by the hint of bitter coffee in the background.
“It’s delicious!” he exclaimed, lowering his cup, and Natasha smiled with satisfaction.
“I knew you would like it. It’s so nice to have someone who appreciates good coffee around here,” she said pointedly.
Tony, who was walking past with a cup of black coffee, snorted. “I’m sorry if I prefer being able to actually taste my coffee instead of just pure sugar.”
“I can taste coffee in this,” Tones said, taking another sip for emphasis. He hummed in pleasure.
“Somehow I doubt that,” Tony said with a fond shake of his head. He saluted the both of them with his cup of coffee and then left, probably afraid that Natasha might hold him down and force him to try her coffee if he lingered.
“There’s just no accounting for taste,” Natasha said with a shake of her head, taking a sip of her own coffee, and Tones smiled. He knew that Natasha was just teasing, and frankly he loved that. In his universe, Romanov hadn’t wanted anything to do with him. She’d never been able to move past the idea of him being unworthy of the Avengers. Seeing the sibling-like relationship that Natasha and Tony had was really nice.
“What’s that extra flavor?” he asked her. “I can’t place it.”
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” she said with a sweet smile, and Tones couldn’t actually tell whether or not she was joking. He decided to change the subject just in case.
“Well, thanks. But I should really be getting back downstairs with Tony. We were right in the middle of figuring out an update to the armor’s thrusters,” Tones said, getting up. He knew that Tony wouldn’t mind if he stayed up with here to talk with Natasha longer, but he was anxious to get back downstairs and help. They only had a few hours before Tony had an S.I. meeting.
Natasha stopped him, however, laying a hand on his arm and looking up at him. “What will you say to them?” she asked softly.
Tones froze. He didn’t know why he hadn’t expected the question to come; it was only a matter of time before someone asked. He should’ve expected that it would be Natasha. Time was ticking down, after all. Thor had told him that the easiest time to send his message would be during the night of the full moon, and that was tomorrow night. He had less than twenty-four hours now.
“I… I don’t know,” Tones admitted, feeling ashamed. After all this time, and all this fuss over people trying to help him get home, he didn’t like that he didn’t know what to say. It was his one chance. There was so much he wanted to say to certain people, but Thor had warned him that this message would be widely broadcast across multiple universes. Most of those words were not ones that Tones wanted multiple people hearing.
It was the most important speech he’d ever make, and the pressure weighed heavily on his shoulders. He hadn’t slept at all last night thinking about it. There wouldn’t be a lot of time, Thor had said, maybe a minute or two at most, so whatever he said would need to be concise too. He’d had to be honest and straightforward, two things which Tones historically was not very good at.
The whole thing was giving him a headache; part of him almost wished Thor hadn’t brought the option back at all. But then he wouldn’t have had the chance to say goodbye to his old universe permanently. And Tones needed that. He wanted to be done with it for good. So he needed to do this. He just wasn’t sure how yet.
“That’s okay. Do you want help figuring it out?” Natasha asked, and Tones blinked at her for a moment before smiling again.
“Thanks, but I think I have to figure it out on my own,” he said. “But really. Thank you.” He appreciated her asking so much more than she could have guessed. In his old universe, no one but maybe Rhodey would have even thought to ask. Everyone there preferred to just let Tones handle everything no matter how exhausting it was for him.
“If you change your mind, just let me know,” she replied, squeezing his arm before letting go. Tones nodded and left the kitchen, making his way to the elevator. But once he got there, JARVIS let him know that Pepper had called early and already sucked Tony into a pre-meeting meeting.
“Sir wants me to let you know that you are welcome to join them, but that he would much rather you quote, run and save yourself, unquote,” JARVIS said dryly, and Tones grinned.
“Thanks J. Please let Tony know I appreciate the warning and that I’m going to heed it,” he said. “I guess I’ll just go back upstairs to my room then.” He could’ve gone back in to sit with Natasha, but he didn’t relish the thought of her trying to help. Even though he appreciated the offer, he knew that this wasn’t something Natasha could help with.
“If I may, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are watching television on Captain Rogers’ floor. They have also asked me to tell you that you are most welcome,” JARVIS added.
“Oh, they just randomly invited me up, huh? You didn’t just happen to mention the fact that I’m free to them?” Tones said, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean,” JARVIS said. If it was possible for an A.I. to sound innocent, then JARVIS was doing it right now.
“Sure,” Tones said, shaking his head. “Alright. I guess I could go cuddle a couple of supersoldiers.” He kept on walking towards the elevator.
JARVIS whisked him upstairs, where Tones found Steve and Bucky sitting on the couch on Steve’s floor. But they weren’t cuddling. Oh no. The two of them were watching a baseball game, which meant that they were sitting on opposite sides of the couch. It turned out that neither Steve nor Bucky were that great at remembering where their hands or elbows were going when they were excited about a win, and after one too many black eyes Natasha had put her foot down and instituted a rule about space during sports.
“Tones!” Bucky said, lighting up when Tones walked out of the elevator. Tones couldn’t help flushing when Steve’s head snapped around, and he too lit up. It was both flattering and scary to be greeted that way.
“Hi,” Tones said, fiddling with his coffee cup. “Is there room for one more? Or do I need to maintain my distance?”
“Nah, the game is over,” Steve said, gesturing with the remote.
“Are you sure? I’d hate for Natasha to try and kill you later because you bruised me,” Tones said.
“It’s over,” Bucky said firmly, grabbing the remote from Steve and changing the channel. “Now get over here.”
“And here I thought you weren’t going to be bossy alphas,” Tones said, but he obligingly walked over to the couch and allowed himself to be yanked down into a hug on both sides.
Honestly, it was blissful. He’d never thought of himself as an overly touchy person before he’d gotten to this universe, where it seemed like everyone was trying to touch him all the time. Tones had to be honest with himself: he absolutely loved it. He couldn’t get enough of the affectionate touches, hugs, and cuddles. He had no idea how Tony could ever get tired of this feeling.
“Natasha make you one of her drinks?” Bucky asked, propping his chin on Tones’s shoulder.
“Yup. Originally it was to get me through inventing, but Pepper called early,” Tones explained.
“Tony said something about a meeting. You’re not attending?” Steve said.
“They didn’t ask me to, and I wasn’t going to push it,” Tones said. He was happy to help out with S.I., but also happy to spend the afternoon with Steve and Bucky.
Unfortunately, spending the afternoon with Steve and Bucky made time fly by. Before Tones knew it, JARVIS was summoning them downstairs for dinner. Clint had ordered in, which meant tons of pizza. The whole team watched a movie over supper, and then another immediately after. Tones fell asleep on Steve’s lap while watching the third movie.
The next day seemed to pass by at the blink of an eye too. In what seemed like five minutes, Tones was watching the sun set over New York. He stared out at the window blankly, knowing that meant Thor would soon be waiting for him on the roof. Actually, scratch that – the whole team would be there waiting for him on the roof. Waiting for him to contact his old world.
Waiting for him to say goodbye…
“I can’t do it,” Tones whispered, closing his eyes. He clenched his hand in frustration, lightly tapping the glass. If he had more time, he would’ve gone downstairs to the workshop and really laid into some of the scrap metal that Tony had down there.
“Yeah, you can.”
With a gasp, Tones whirled around. “Steve! Geez, don’t sneak up on me. Don’t you know I have a heart condition?”
Steve smiled and moved further into the room. He walked right over to Tones and pulled Tones into a warm hug. Tones melted into the embrace immediately, laying his head on Steve’s shoulder and closing his eyes. Not so long ago, he would’ve never thought that a moment like this could happen with Captain America. He never would have guessed that messing around with a weird alien artefact would be the best thing he’d ever done.
“You can do this, Tones,” Steve said softly. “But you should also know that you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s okay to just let go. You don’t have to be the hero all the time. You never have to be the hero again if you don’t want to.”
Tones inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of his Alpha, and then relaxed more than he had since Thor had first announced that a message could be sent. It was comforting to know that Steve was telling the truth. This world didn’t need Restart. The Avengers would always welcome him, of course, but they didn’t need him. Not like the other world had needed Iron Man because there were no other heroes.
“You’re right,” Tones said, choosing his words carefully. “I know that I don’t have to, but – I think I need to. For me. I have to end things properly so that I can move on. And I guess that means I need to be a hero for them one last time. Does that make sense?”
“Oh, sweetheart. It makes all the sense in the world.” Steve hugged him tighter. “You’re one of the strongest men I’ve ever met, Tones. I’m so glad that you’re staying here with us.”
“I am too,” Tones admitted. Going back to his own world would’ve torture after being here. Going back to no support, to endless working hours, to the Avengers that hated him… Tones shuddered and pressed himself more tightly against Steve, endlessly grateful that the choice had ultimately not been his to make.
“Sir would like me to let you know it’s time,” JARVIS said.
“You ready?” Steve asked.
“As I’ll ever be,” Tones said. He went to push back from Steve, but Steve grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. They made their way up to the roof hand-in-hand.
Everyone was there when they emerged from the roof, Tones discovered. The whole team, including Coulson, had gathered to support him. Tones felt warmed from head to toe when he saw them all waiting, especially Bucky and Tony. He walked over to the two of them, Steve following along, and let Bucky wrap his arms around him. Tony took his free hand.
“Speak into this when you are ready,” Thor said. He was holding a white orb in his hands with such caution that Tones knew it had to be fragile. “Just give me a nod and I’ll activate it.”
“Right.” Tones licked his lips, staring at the orb.
He felt both Tony and Steve squeeze his hands, and Bucky’s arms were a secure warmth around him. The rest of the Avengers offered him encouraging smile. Tones nodded at Thor, who activated the orb. It began to glow a deep purple color. And it was there, within the gentle embrace of the people who actually loved him, that Tones spoke his last words to the world he had left behind.
“Nu-Xi-Nine-Seven-Theta-Mu-Five,” he whispered. “It’s me, Tony; I’m okay. Take care of FRIDAY and my bots. Be happy.”
The code at the start was so that Rhodey – the right Rhodey – would know that it was really Tones. It felt strange to address himself as Tony, after he had fully begun to think of himself as Tones. It occurred to him then just how much he never wanted to be Tony again.
He shook his head at Thor, who did something to the orb that turned it a dull gray. Tones turned away, but he didn’t need to go far. Tony was right there to hug him from the front. With Bucky hugging from behind, Tony in front, and Steve wrapping his gigantic arms around all three of them, Tones broke down crying as the true reality of the situation sank in.
He was free.