Archive of Our Own ^beta

Several months has passed since his first sexual encounter with Leonard. Spock still thought of it fondly, and his initial shame at being caught off guard by his arousal gradually faded as he realized that Leonard himself did not mind. Indeed, his human friend seemed to blossom as their new sexual relationship developed. He was more talkative with Spock during their shifts, their arguments were now tinged with fondness, and once a week he came to Spock’s quarters to aid him in his meditation.

Tonight was the night of his ki'lor'koi meditation. Spock had found himself looking forward to their once-weekly trysts. He had finally been able to enter the first and second stage of meditation to the sight of Leonard’s body shivering beneath rope. Tonight, he had plans to enter the third stage.

He knew from Sickbay’s last report before he left the bridge that Leonard had been detained by a broken clavicle. Spock took a moment to center himself. He drank a cup of tea as he waited, feeling the warmth infuse him, and then when Leonard did not appear after many minutes he called down to Sickbay, asking for visual communication.

Leonard himself answered. He was behind his desk looking haggard. His hair was messy and his scrub top was wrinkled. He still smiled when he saw Spock, likely not realizing he did so.

“Hey,” he said, and the informality and softness of tone told Spock that he was alone. “Sorry I’m late.”

“There is no offense,” Spock said gently. “Do you wish to reschedule?”

Leonard shook his head. “No, I’m done with Ensign McLeod now. I just need to write up a few notes and I can…” He sighed deeply, wrinkling his nose. “I’d like to come over right now, but I should stop by my quarters first. I need a shower, badly.”

Spock nodded, considering. “There is a shower in my quarters.”

Leonard’s eyes sparkled as he caught on to Spock’s meaning. Sexual activity outside of the ritual of meditation had grown more frequent between them, but other kinds of intimacy remained limited. Although after nearly every meditation Leonard spent the night with him, he still had not bathed in Spock’s quarters. He generally went home early in the morning.

“I’d like that,” Leonard said softly. “I’d like that an awful lot, Spock. I’ll see you in a few.”

The screen blanked out and Spock shivered with an illogical thrill of desire for Leonard. He wished to speed the passage of time so that Leonard could be here, in his arms, immediately. He closed his eyes to the sense-memory of his hands in Leonard’s hair just last week. Seven days was far too long to go without holding Leonard close.

Spock distracted himself with a few journal articles and worked his way through half a cup of tea before Leonard arrived. He chimed the door and then when Spock bade him to enter he slipped in, eyes tired and beautifully blue. Spock rose to greet him.

“Doctor,” he said, nodding.

Leonard smiled at him. He stopped by the door to take off his boots and sighed as his socked feet hit the floor. “Mr. Spock. How are you this fine evening?”

Leonard’s good mood was infectious. Spock wished to keep him happy. “I am well. I have been contemplating reverse ionoplasm fields.”

One eyebrow quirked upwards. “Oh you have, have you?”

“Yes. There is some evidence that ionoplasm may be used to enhance subspace communication. Subspace communication speeds are currently capped at approximately warp 7.791, but with the addition of ionoplasm-charged stations the speed may increased by as much as .002 percent.”

Leonard’s eyes were wide, a smile playing at the corner of his pretty pink lips. “Fascinating, I’m sure,” he said dryly, his tone teasing.

Warmth bloomed in Spock’s side. “I could not have said it better myself.”

Leonard laughed. He had strolled across the room towards Spock and now he bounced up on his toes to press a kiss onto Spock’s cheek. Leonard was fond of such displays of affection, Spock knew, and so he turned his face before Leonard could escape and brushed their lips together. Leonard sighed at the contact, relaxing incrementally as they stood together in the common room, lips sliding peaceful and slow against one another. Spock could smell Leonard’s exertion from the day—sweat and antiseptic—but it was not offensive. He stepped closer to Leonard, their knees and hands brushing as they kissed.

After a long time of this Leonard pulled away. His gaze was hooded, contemplative. “Show me how to work your shower?”

Spock knew that Leonard did not need instructing, since their showers operated identically, and so he read between the lines. Leonard would not ask for it, and so Spock curled his hand around Leonard’s hip and tugged him in for another kiss, pulling Leonard’s lip between his teeth and eliciting a sharp gasp of arousal from him.

“I will join you.”

Leonard shuddered, nodded. Together they went into the bathroom. Spock could not resist kissing Leonard again, this time on the side of his neck, a place that never failed to elicit a reaction. Leonard arched into the touch and Spock soothed him with his fingers, dancing them down over Leonard’s flank to lift the hem of his uniform top. He brushed his fingers over Leonard’s soft stomach.

“Hmph, I can undress myself, you know,” Leonard muttered, although he didn’t move to push Spock away.

Spock looked at him faux-curiously. “I was not aware you were capable.”

Leonard tried to glare at him, but his smirk gave him away. “Hey now, you’re the one who always needs me to help you.”

It was true that Spock often ordered Leonard to help him undress, but they both knew that was part of testing the boundaries of what it meant to be together sexually. Leonard revelled in bending easily to Spock’s commands. Still, Spock pulled his hands away from Leonard’s delightfully open skin and said, “Assist me now.”

He did. He helped Spock out of his shirt and unfastened his uniform trousers. Spock stepped out of them and then lifted his feet for Leonard to tug off his socks. He stood in the bathroom, nude and slightly chilled, watching as Leonard stepped back to undress himself.

Leonard’s hands on his own body were almost shy. He glanced away as Spock gazed at him. Spock found the reaction interesting. He had seen Leonard naked dozens of times before. Indeed, he had been inside Leonard’s clever mouth, touched those peaked nipples with his hands, come over Leonard’s chest and face. He had even taken holophotos of Leonard like that. He had assumed Leonard would grow more comfortable with nudity as their interactions continued, but that did not seem to be happening.

Regardless, Leonard’s clothes were soon in a haphazard pile on the floor. Spock gathered them up and began putting them in the refresher chute to be sent to laundry.

“Hey, I’ll need that tomorrow.”

Spock stopped, glancing over his shoulder at Leonard. “These clothes are soiled from your work today. I doubt you will wish to wear them again.”

“Well, am I just supposed to wander around buck naked?”

Yes , Spock didn’t say, his eyes trailing up over Leonard’s bare frame. “I will give you my clothes to wear.”

That seemed to satisfy Leonard and Spock let both their sets of clothes tumble off into the laundry. He turned the shower to sonic and Leonard rolled his eyes, reaching around Spock and switching it to water.

“It is a waste of resources to run a water shower,” Spock stated mildly.

Leonard was already stepping inside, jumping at the spray. He fiddled with the knobs and then relaxed, beckoning for Spock to follow him. “You Vulcans and your damned sonic showers.”

“They are more efficient.” Spock slipped in alongside Leonard, his shoulders relaxing as the hot water hit him. It was a uniquely pleasant experience.

“Hardly.”

Spock arched his brow. “‘Hardly?’” he repeated. “It is an objective fact, Doctor.”

“How efficient is it to get your damned bones rattled?”

“I was referring, of course, to the efficiency in energy and resource use.” Spock picked up his washcloth and soap and handed them to Leonard. “Wash me.”

Leonard didn’t even question the order. He poured a large puddle of soap onto the washcloth and Spock swallowed his next complaint of wastefulness. “There’s something magical about a water shower, Spock,” he began philosophically. He was rubbing the cloth between his hands, working the soap into a lather. Spock found himself staring at Leonard’s wet, soap-covered fingers and he quickly looked up to meet Leonard’s eye again. “You can be at your worst. Filthy, sore, exhausted, and a shower will always make you feel better.”

Spock leaned into Leonard’s touch as he began to scrub Spock’s neck and chest. “Perhaps this is a human association. Vulcans have not indulged in water showers as a practice for many hundreds of years. Our planet does not have the necessary supply of water.”

Leonard whistled under his breath. “A damned shame. Maybe that’s why you’re all so uptight all the time.”

“Perhaps,” Spock agreed, and he resisted smiling as Leonard laughed brightly. “We do have other methods of recovering from stress.”

“You mean you sit in a dark room thinking about it.”

“Not so,” Spock said seriously, his face a calm mask as Leonard looked up at him in confusion. “Generally, we light candles.”

Leonard laughed again. He brought his soapy palms up to Spock’s face and Spock closed his eyes. Leonard ran his fingers over Spock’s forehead, the arch of his cheek, the bridge of his nose. His touch was gentle and light but it still stimulated Spock. The feeling of another person’s fingers so near his psi points made him ache for a mental connection.

He could not have it. It was too risky to meld with Leonard now that their relationship was sexual. It risked forming a bond between them, something he was certain Leonard would balk at although Spock himself was untroubled by the idea. He would have enjoyed the sensation of Leonard always at the back of his mind, filling his thoughts with his gentle presence. It certainly would have been useful a month ago when Leonard had disappeared during an away mission and Spock had not known whether he was alive or dead. He had kept Leonard bound for far longer than usual during their next meditation session, simply wanting to watch Leonard living and breathing and unable to get away and put himself in danger.

Leonard helped him tip his head back into the spray to rinse away the suds and then Spock opened his eyes again, gazing at him. Leonard paused as their eyes met, seemingly searching from something on Spock’s face.

Spock revealed nothing. He took the washcloth from Leonard and set it aside, and then he took the soap and placed a fingernail-sized drop in the palm of his hand. He ran his palms together to lather it and then stepped towards Leonard’s wet body. He felt Leonard’s half-hard erection against his thigh and he marveled at how sensitive Leonard’s human body was to touch. Sometimes all Leonard needed to harden was to see Spock.

He ran his hands over Leonard’s shoulders and down his chest, brushing over Leonard’s sensitive nipples before slipping lower. The sight of Leonard’s body glistening and wet was enticing, and Spock reluctantly admitted to himself there were certain benefits to water showers. Not that he planned to tell Leonard that.

“I am pleased you were able to join me this evening, Doctor.”

Leonard’s mouth was slightly open as Spock claimed him with his touch. “Oh?” he managed, closing his jaw with a snap. “Why’s that?”

Spock considered as he slipped his soapy hand between Leonard’s legs. He took Leonard’s erection into his hand and stroked it under the guise of cleaning him, fondling Leonard’s odd external testicles with his other hand. Leonard arched up into his touch, gasping as his erection filled with arousal.

“I have found, recently,” Spock explained matter-of-factly. “That after our ki’lor’koi meditation sessions I do not require deep meditation for several days, whereas formerly I required it nightly.”

“Oh?” Leonard asked again, breathlessly.

Spock was kneeling now, running his hands over Leonard’s strong legs and picking up his feet to scrub them. “Indeed. A light meditation is all that is required. It is curious. Vulcan children are instructed in the kohl-tor method, which is thought to be the most efficient.”

“Well, maybe it is the most efficient if you’ve only got yourself. Not everyone can have a friend who’ll stop by their quarters once a week out of the goodness of their heart.”

“That is true.” Spock rose and took Leonard by the hips, turning him around to face the wall. He lifted Leonard’s wrists up and wordlessly directed him to place his hands against the tile. Spock admired Leonard’s blunt fingers, the squareness of his hands. “Perhaps I should write a paper on the subject informing the Vulcan Science Academy of my findings.”

Leonard visibly balked at the idea. “Uh, are you sure you want to do that?”

“Do you not think they would find it fascinating?” Spock teased.

Leonard looked over his shoulder incredulously. Spock raised both eyebrows, a look of innocence, and Leonard laughed at him, turning back around as he shook his head. “Jesus, Spock, you really had me going there.”

Spock touched Leonard’s back, the line of his spine, the divots just above the roundness of his pert bottom. His touch was possessive, fingers pressing harder now. Leonard shifted towards him, legs sliding apart, perhaps unconsciously. Spock folded himself against Leonard’s back and Leonard gasped, head lolling back as Spock kissed behind his ear.

“There is another reason I am pleased you joined me tonight.”

“Th-there is?”

“Yes.” Spock slipped his soapy palm along the crease of Leonard’s bottom and Leonard jerked beneath his touch. Spock found the small circle of his opening and traced it, whispering, “I have decided I will penetrate you tonight.”

Leonard gasped, the sound falling into a broken moan as Spock pushed his finger inside. Leonard’s body was tight, apparently unaccustomed to such an intrusion. Spock was fascinated by the amount of force necessary to slide into Leonard’s body even as Leonard pushed back against his hand searchingly. During their meditation Leonard always lifted into his touch whenever Spock neared his bottom; Spock knew he desired to be penetrated. Despite that Leonard seemed unbelievably tight. Of course, Spock had yet to take Leonard that way, as Leonard’s mouth and hands had served them both well enough. It apparently had been some time since Leonard had last been touched here, inside.

Spock fingered him brusquely. He didn’t intend to penetrate Leonard right then, in the shower. This was merely to ensure he was clean enough for what Spock had planned.

Since it would be his first time penetrating Leonard, Spock asked, “Would you find that acceptable, Leonard?”

Leonard shuddered with want, as he always did when Spock used his first name. “Y-yeah, Spock. I’d be fine with that.”

His words were too measured for how much his body yearned backwards against Spock. Still, Spock slipped his finger out of Leonard and turned him around so he could rinse off. Leonard’s erection bobbed up against his stomach, bright red and glistening in the water. Inside his body Spock’s own penis throbbed with need, but he kept it contained.

He turned off the shower and considered drying Leonard off as well, wanting to feel more of Leonard’s skin and the way he twisted and turned beneath Spock’s touch, but he required time to reassert his controls. It would not do to become erect too soon, as Leonard had. Instead, he handed Leonard a towel and took one of his own and they hurriedly dried off.

Back in his quarters Leonard stood in the center of the room while Spock walked to his meditation cabinet to gather supplies. First, he slipped on his robe, knowing it would change the tenor of their interaction. Spock stood straighter, held his head higher. Leonard was so nude and he was so clothed that it was easy for them to fall into the rhythm of the ritual, and for Leonard to tip that much further into the submission Spock needed of him. Leonard fetched the basin of water and flowers from Spock’s desk and set it where Spock could easily access it.  Spock had a new, larger meditation mat that was big enough for he and Leonard to occupy simultaneously. He unfurled it and then counted out the ropes he would need for the evening. He handed them to Leonard and Leonard arranged them around the mat. He set down the incense sconce but did not light it yet. Then, Spock took another brass bowl from the cabinet and set it beside the basin.

He produced a vial of oil from his robe and emptied it out into the small bowl, his ears perking as he heard Leonard’s gasp of arousal at the mere sight. Spock turned to look at Leonard, letting his gaze travel slowly up from Leonard’s toes, past his flushed erection and peaked nipples, and to his ruffled, still-damp hair. Leonard glowed in the light of his quarters, beautiful and utterly open, and the warmth within Spock grew at the sight of him.

“I will need it to prepare you,” he said simply.

Leonard gulped. Nodded. “I figured as much.”

“There is one additional item we will use this evening.” Spock rose and fetched a wooden box from the cabinet. He had made it specially to hold the item necessary for the third stage of ki’lor’koi meditation. It was intricately carved with Vulcan phrases of contemplation and submission—all of which he had discovered during his research. He had filled the carvings with gold inlay to preserve the words.

The hinge opened easily and he presented it to Leonard, watching his face closely to gauge his reaction. Leonard’s eyes widened, mouth opening slightly as his tongue ran over his bottom lip. His eyes were dilated as he reached into the box to take out the stone, and Spock considered the reaction a rousing success.

“It’s heavy,” Leonard said first, turning it over in his hands.

“It is made of zer-hir ,” Spock told him. “A stone similar to your Earth’s onyx.”

The stone was black and polished well. Spock had carved it himself, basing the design on a drawing he found during his research but also changing it to be more pleasing to a human male’s body. It was a long, curved insertion tool with an angled head reminiscent of a Vulcan penis, but that was where the similarities ended. Along its length were three spheres of various sizes intended to stimulate and arouse once inserted, and Spock had carefully spaced them so that the curve of of the middle one would press against Leonard’s prostate. Spock had taken care to carve the base into a handle as well that fit his own hand perfectly.

Leonard’s breath had shifted, and his eyes were very dilated. “You’re gonna put this inside me?”

“Yes,” Spock said simply. He took it back and placed it in the box on the floor. “After my contemplation during the second stage I will open you and insert the stone.”

Leonard gulped. “And that...helps with the meditation?”

“Indeed, it does. The pleasure you feel will drive me deeper into meditation, allowing me to unlock the third stage more quickly than through solitary means.”

Truthfully, he was only partially sure about that. It was true that his research seemed to indicate the third stage could be accessed in this way, but it had also indicated he was supposed to resist his own body’s sexual arousal. He had no intention of doing so. He could hardly resist Leonard tonight any more than he ever could.

Spock lit the incense, signaling the start of the session proper. He retrieved the torso rope and quickly found its middle. He slipped it behind Leonard’s neck and began twisting it down the front of Leonard’s body. “I must again express my thanks to you, Doctor. Your body has been surprisingly useful in assisting my meditation attempts.”

Leonard grunted, but Spock could see that his casual objectification aroused the other man. “Well, it’s always nice to be useful,” he said sarcastically.

Spock knelt and trailed the ropes between Leonard’s legs. He repositioned Leonard’s penis dispassionately. Leonard had softened in the intervening minutes as they had set up the meditation space, but his cock gave a twitch upwards into Spock’s warmth. Spock felt Leonard’s hand close around his shoulder as Spock’s manhandling threatened to tip him off balance. He pushed Leonard’s legs apart further, enjoying the way Leonard teetered on the balls of his feet.

“You are quite useful to me,” Spock said, rising to trail the rope behind Leonard’s body.

Leonard seemed to need a moment to recall what Spock was talking about. He softened as the meaning behind Spock’s words sunk in. “I’m just happy to help.”

It was in his nature to be helpful, but Spock had begun to suspect that wasn’t the only reason Leonard found himself back in Spock’s quarters each week. “Leonard,” he said flatly, speaking to the back of his neck. “How would you characterize our relationship?”

“Friends with benefits,” Leonard said immediately, almost before the words were out of Spock’s mouth. A prepared answer. Whether it was prepared for Spock’s benefit or Leonard’s, he wasn’t sure. “It’s a kind of relationship on Earth. I suppose more accurately we’d be ‘co-workers with benefits,’ since probably friendship is too illogical for Vulcans.”

Indeed, it was, but Spock did not say anything. He ran his hands over Leonard’s cool skin, criss-crossing the rope as he went. He had to press his chest against Leonard’s back to reach around and run the long ends of the rope through the twists he had made. Leonard leaned into the contact.

When Spock didn’t say anything, Leonard went on, “Do you have relationships like that on Vulcan?”

“No,” he said. He let his palms rest on Leonard’s chest just a moment longer, rubbing at his stiff nipples and feeling the way Leonard lifted into the touch. “We do not.”

Leonard grunted. “How would you characterize our relationship, then?”

Spock had researched human relationship customs intensively in the weeks and months following his first encounter with Leonard. He knew what Leonard meant when he referred to ‘friends with benefits.’ He meant to imply a certain distance between them, a safe kind of relationship where romantic feelings and intimacy were not necessary. They were friends. They met and exchanged favors: sex for meditation. And then they went back to normal. But the words did not seem adequate to capture how Spock felt about Leonard, and how he suspected Leonard felt about him. He knew that the interactions they had—with Leonard at his feet, arms behind his back, lips parted to beg for Spock to take his mouth—were not unheard of in such a relationship. But they were uncommon.

“ Du nam-tor t'nash-veh kafeh-spo k'diwa. ”

Leonard frowned, looking at Spock over his shoulder. “What’s that?”

“Is this too tight?” Spock asked, tugging the rope between Leonard’s shoulder blades.

“No, it’s—” His breath hitched and he arched upwards as the ropes rolled over his nipples. “I-it’s fine.”

“And here?” Spock touched between his legs, pulling the rope to let Leonard’s external testicles rise up, pinching them together and rolling them in the ropes, and then letting them fall down to hang heavy and full.

Leonard was shaking now. “Feels fine. Maybe even a little loose.”

Having successfully enticed Leonard to forget about his question, Spock stepped around him and surveyed his work. Leonard’s skin was flushed, already pinkening where the ropes touched him. Leonard shifted under his watchful gaze, his hand twitching at his hip as if to cover himself. He was always like this near the beginning: shy, vulnerable. Spock knelt before him and picked up a long, thin coil of rope.

He had read of this technique in an ancient diary of a Vulcan matriarch whose kafeh had been incapable of controlling his erection. Spock had correlated the story with human bondage rituals as well and, upon finding it relatively safe to do, he had begun indulging Leonard by binding his cock.

He did so now, beginning by slipping the looped end of the rope between Leonard’s legs and fastening it to the rope already settled behind his testicles. Leonard shifted pleasantly at the contact, his legs sliding apart easily for Spock to gain access. Spock pushed him apart still further and Leonard’s hand came to his shoulder again for balance. Spock glanced up around Leonard’s half-hard erection and saw Leonard watching him heatedly, his mouth open and wet. Spock merely blinked at him, his facade of emotionlessness firmly in place, and returned to his work.

Leonard’s body was fascinating. It responded to Spock almost before Spock could touch him. Spock crossed the rope in front of Leonard’s testicles and Leonard’s erection thrust upwards into his touch, filling with blood and desire. Spock held him still and began to cross the ropes back and forth along Leonard’s length, all the way to his glans before tying it off. He tugged at the green silk, rolling it just beneath the head of Leonard’s cock and drawing a groan of appreciation from him. Spock pinched his foreskin, rolling the skin between his thumb and forefinger.

“C-careful,” Leonard gasped.

Spock arched his brow. “I always am.”

Leonard laughed. “I know, just—” He swallowed another gasp as Spock took the ends of the rope and tied Leonard’s cock vertically against his stomach. Leonard shifted again, this time in discomfort. “That feels—”

“It will be uncomfortable for the time being,” Spock said, and then he could not resist pressing a kiss at the base of Leonard’s cock, trailing his lips down to tongue at his testicles. He licked them slowly, tasting the soft salt of sweat, and then pulled away. “But when you are prostrated on the ground the tension will help your body maintain this state of arousal for me.”

Leonard licked his lips. Spock could see a question there, poised on his tongue. Leonard wanted to ask how Spock was going to take him today, but something held him back.

Spock rose and completed his checks of the bonds. He ran his fingers between the cool rope and Leonard’s flushed skin, checking for tightness but also counting his breaths. Leonard had told him once that he didn’t need to check the tightness so often and Spock had responded that it wasn’t about that. This was what drew him into the first stage of meditation: counting his breaths against the knots binding Leonard to him.

He mapped Leonard’s body slowly, careful not to miss even a centimeter. The contact flared between them and Spock could sense Leonard’s arousal through the psi points in his fingertips. It wasn't a meld—and it certainly wasn’t a bond—but Leonard was open to him, psychic transferences flowing from his skin to dance up Spock’s arms and fill him with excitement and desire. Thousands of years ago kafeh intended for this purpose would have been specially trained to be without thought. A good kafeh was a mindless one. Spock was eternally grateful that Leonard was not a good kafeh.

He demonstrated his disobedience soon enough, shifting uncomfortably before Spock was fully done touching him. Spock could tell that his cock was distracting him by its bright, angry red color and the smear of precome over Leonard’s stomach. Leonard grumbled something under his breath.

“What was that?” Spock asked.

Leonard glanced at him. “I thought those ears weren’t just for show.”

Spock raised his brow.

“It’s just…” Leonard shifted from one foot to the other, the muscles of his legs and bottom clenching and unclenching enticingly. “Can we get on with it?”

Leonard was impatient. Spock, with his Vulcan control and the knowledge that he was about to indulge in a very beneficial meditation session, had no such concerns. He ignored Leonard’s increasing grumbles of annoyance and finished touching the ropes at his back, down his bottom, and between his legs. Spock paused to dust a finger kiss over the back of Leonard’s neck, and then placed a lip-kiss there as well just to feel Leonard shiver.

Now firmly in the first stage of meditation, Spock rested his hand on Leonard’s shoulder. “Kneel.”

Leonard went quickly, and he was halfway down before he paused in confusion. Spock increased the pressure on Leonard’s shoulder, forcing him down until he was on his knees facing away from Spock.

“What the—?”

Spock knew what was confusing him; he watched it happen. As he shifted, the rope Spock had tied too loosely along his bottom shifted as well, pulling apart just as Spock had intended. By the time he was on his knees his cheeks were slightly parted and a high flush was working its way up the back of his neck.

Leonard turned to look over his shoulder, his cheeks rosy pink as well. “Spock?”

“You are doing well,” Spock told him, and Leonard shivered at the praise. Spock petted his hair and trailed his hands down Leonard’s warm neck, massaging it. “This will allow me access to your body. Does it please you?”

Leonard shuddered again, shifting and moving in his bonds apparently just to feel the ropes spreading him and rubbing against his hole. He had his head thrown back into Spock’s hand and Spock could see the column of his throat move as he swallowed.

“Yeah,” he managed after a moment. “It’s fine, just—”

Embarrassing , Spock knew. “I require you on your front today. Please prostrate yourself with your knees bent up.”

Leonard was fully red now, but his blush still managed to deepen as he bent forward over the mat and the ropes twisted apart still further, spreading him lewdly. Spock admired the sight of Leonard bowed before him, his back curved, his bottom utterly at Spock’s mercy. With the ropes as they were Spock could see Leonard’s pink, eager hole awaiting him. Spock wished to kneel down and release his erection right then, slide inside of Leonard’s waiting body as Leonard keened beneath him. He resisted the urge, pushing it aside with the knowledge that it would be better to wait until Leonard was wrought with pleasure.

Leonard had folded his arms under his head, but Spock moved them, stretching them down and under Leonard’s body, between his legs, until his wrists rested beside his ankles. Leonard relaxed at the manhandling, although it left him more open than ever.

He was nearly done. Only four pieces of rope remained. He used two to bind Leonard’s ankles to his wrists, watching as Leonard formed fists and tugged subtly, testing the bonds. They were secure, however, and wouldn’t shift no matter how much Leonard twisted. Then Spock forced Leonard’s hands flat so that he could bind his fingers.

He would never tell Leonard this, but the hand binding was not something he had discovered in his research. Hands were sexual to Vulcans; to bind them, more so. No one practicing the ki’lor’koi would ever do so. Their first night Spock had bound Leonard’s hands on a whim, and also because they had looked so beautiful twisted to his desires. Binding Leonard’s hands made the ceremony explicitly sexual for Spock, and he could feel wetness between his legs as he did so again now.

He began by tying Leonard’s thumbs together, keeping his palms facing up, and then he carefully separated each finger with a length of rope. Leonard was forced to keep his fingers spread, his palms soft as Spock kissed them with his fingertips. Leonard’s hands were so gorgeous that Spock’s logic crumbled when he looked at them wrapped around a hypo, or flattened in a gesture of annoyance during a conversation. He knew how it felt to slide his aching cock over those hands. They were clever. Sturdy.

Leonard had sunk deeper into himself. He murmured as Spock pulled away from his hands and reached for the basin of flowers, his words slightly slurred.

“What colors today?”

The colors, of course, meant the emotion that Spock was attempting to rid himself of. Although Leonard had seen the flowers when he fetched the bowl Spock knew Leonard was asking more for the comfort of hearing Spock’s voice than of the need to be reminded. Spock positioned himself behind Leonard’s hips and began to arrange the flowers down his back, explaining what he was doing as he went.

“A white carnation, between your shoulder blades. This morning I awoke to Mr. Scott’s engineering crew drilling through the wall across the hall. I felt a brief moment of annoyance.”

“I bet you did,” Leonard chuckled.

“Three Saurian sundrops on your left side, alongside the trapezius. I felt pride today when Captain Kirk complimented my scans of the nebula.”

“Mm, did you?”

“Illogical, of course, as the scan are produced by a computer algorithm.”

“Which you programmed,” Leonard murmured, and Spock ignored the words.

“Two black roses, thorns clipped. I have found myself deeply missing someone who was once close to me.” He did not elaborate, and Leonard did not ask, so he went on, “Five pink daisies, for their soothing qualities. Ten Denobulan bluebells.”

He did not explain what the bluebells were for, and Leonard did not press him. Blue was the color of passion, and it was no coincidence that Spock had elected to procure the Denobulan bluebell. Their shade of blue was strikingly similar to the blue of Leonard’s eyes. They had become a staple of their meditation ritual, always finding their way somewhere onto Leonard’s body as Spock contemplated the passion he felt for his human friend.

Spock twisted in a few more until Leonard had flowers all along his spine, a veritable bouquet of scents and colors and textures mingling. The incense burning in the background soothed him from the emotion that welled in his throat: affection. He ran his hand down Leonard’s flank just to feel him shift and shudder, pushing his other hand beneath Leonard’s body. Leonard gasped as Spock checked his erection, feeling it carefully for signs of distress before dropping it just as quickly as he had grabbed it.

“Two flowers from my own homeland, the sakal ,” Spock said, plucking the large, green flowers from the basin. They were the last and Spock gently laid them on Leonard’s open palms. Leonard’s fingers twitched at the cold water. “The color of deep emotion.”

Leonard was shaking slightly as Spock leaned back. He could see Leonard trying to get a look at him and he warmed at the sight. He shifted so that he was in Leonard’s line of sight and reached out, touching Leonard’s soft hair.

“Would you like your gag now?”

Leonard’s eyes were hazy. He nodded and let his mouth hang open. Spock watched him as he fashioned the gag from a piece of rope. Leonard didn’t close his mouth until Spock was slipping the knot into it.

The ceremony was complete. Spock felt a rush of calm and serenity overtake him as Leonard settled against the mat, his nude body bound and adorned for Spock’s pleasure. Leonard’s shift into fanet —something ornamental—always surprised him, even as it was accompanied by his own slow shift into the second stage of meditation.

Spock settled back on his portion of the mat, sitting on his heels and gazing down at Leonard’s body. He allowed his gaze to wander where it wished. He traced his eyes over Leonard’s bowed head, across his shoulders. Spock counted the petals of the first rose slowly and then moved on, observing the way Leonard’s skin reddened beneath the fifth coil of rope. It dug into him deeply, rubbing over his flesh with each of Leonard’s breaths. Every minute shift of his body deepened the mark, and Spock knew he would still have a bruise there tomorrow.

It pleased him to see Leonard’s bottom spread for him. Leonard’s hole fluttered occasionally even without stimulation, and a hand’s breadth beneath it rested the sakal blossom. Leonard’s fingers had bent slightly inwards as if to hold the flower, but with Spock’s ropes on him he was incapable of moving further. Spock breathed gently at the sight of Leonard so peaceful and open, just for him. At least, in this moment Leonard was only for him. He wished it could be so always. He desired to be the only one who could see Leonard like this. The only one who could adorn him with flowers that paled in the face of Leonard’s beauty. The only one who could kiss Leonard’s smart mouth or clever fingers. Spock desired him so strongly that he ached.

But he was meditating, and the ache was somewhat lessened by that fact. It was a distant feeling. He noticed the emotion, turned it over in his mind, and released it for the moment. And then he rested his hands on Leonard’s hips.

Leonard jerked at his touch. He had grown calm and complacent, but he began to shake as Spock kneaded his tense thighs. Spock dragged his hands up and tugged at the ropes between Leonard’s cheeks, making the already-lewd part between his legs open obscenely.

“Fascinating,” Spock murmured. The ropes held Leonard open for him and he could use both hands to explore Leonard’s flesh. He touched Leonard’s opening with his thumb and Leonard gasped around his gag, murmuring against the mat.

Spock looked up at him, but all he could see was the back of Leonard’s head. The sounds Leonard made as Spock rubbed neat circles against him were enchanting and Spock wished that he could bottle them to keep for an eternity. Well, if not bottle, perhaps he had the next best thing.

He abandoned Leonard’s backside and slid forward to meet Leonard’s eye. Leonard’s face was still turned and he looked up at Spock adoringly. Spock leaned down and kissed him around the gag.

“Leonard, I have a request to make of you.” He waited for Leonard to perk up, focus coming back to his features. “I wish to make a holo recording of you during the third stage.”

Leonard’s breath hitched. Spock could see his mind working, running through what Spock was asking him to do. It was no small request. Spock had already taken photographs of him during their previous liaisons: snapshots of Leonard’s body bent and flushed, dotted with flowers, artistically rendered in rope. Indeed, those photos were currently sitting in Spock’s desk on heavily encrypted datadiscs. He took them out occasionally and ran through them and tried not to masturbate, but usually failed.

But a holo recording was something else entirely. Spock waited patiently for Leonard to decide if it was acceptable or not. He did not wish to pressure Leonard, and so he made no argument for or against.

Finally, Leonard’s shoulders relaxed. He met Spock’s eyes and Spock thought he detected a smile playing at the corner of Leonard’s silenced mouth.

He nodded.

Spock rose, leaving Leonard on the floor, and fetched his holocamera. He moved neither hastily nor slowly, but Leonard was still writhing by the time he returned. He stilled as Spock knelt before him and set up the camera, pointing it to capture Leonard’s front. Leonard watched him set it up with a hint of embarrassment.

Spock turned on the screen and rose, going again to kneel behind Leonard.

This was better. The camera was set to create a holo recording of Leonard, but in the meantime it would produce a two-dimensional preview image of Leonard on the screen. Spock could check on him and see how he was reacting, and he did so now as he gently rested his fingers on Leonard’s bottom. Leonard jumped at the contact, his jaw working against the gag to moan.

“Good,” Spock breathed. “Your response to my touch is astonishing, Leonard.”

Leonard shook again as Spock pressed at the puckered entrance, forceful but not enough to slide in. His shoulders bent and twisted with pleasure.

Spock looked down to where his hands were toying with Leonard’s body. A proper kafeh would not respond at all. Would lie still and emotionless. Leonard was too perfect for that. He lit with Spock’s touch, rocking his hips back as much as possible as Spock traced between his cheeks and then down beneath his body to roll his external testicles in his hand. They were still bound and full, and his cock was warm to the touch. Spock plucked at the ropes like lyre strings and Leonard cried out a single, beautiful note.

What came next to his mind was not something born of ritual, but rather of hunger. Before he could decide if his desire was logical or not Spock was already bending down, shifting backwards so he could press his face between Leonard’s legs and flick out his tongue to brush Leonard’s twitching hole.

Leonard keened at the first contact, panting desperately already even as Spock pulled back to gain his bearings. That first taste had been intoxicating. He felt the way he assumed humans felt when they were drunk. Spock pressed back in and curled his tongue beneath Leonard as far as he could, his chin brushing the flowers in Leonard’s hands, touching the soft skin of his testicles, and then licked a swath upwards. He pulled long and slow, with bruising pressure, and by the time he stopped again at the small of Leonard’s back Leonard was groaning with arousal.

The ropes kept Leonard easily open for him to press his lips onto Leonard, sucking lightly. He let his hands trail down beneath the body of his lover to play with his testicles and his cock. He kept his touch there feather-light even as Leonard’s sounds of pleasure and distress filled the room. He sucked at Leonard’s flesh and then flicked out his tongue again, dragging it over Leonard’s puckered hole and then pushing in.

Leonard split easily to him, allowing Spock into his body as if it had no other purpose. Spock sighed, his breath misting against Leonard’s skin, his eyes fluttering shut as he curled his tongue inside that wet heat. Leonard was hotter inside than he was outside; Spock had always known this about his hot mouth and accompanying hot temper. But this was different. Leonard’s heat hit his tongue and he gasped before he could stop himself.

His sheath was wet and throbbing as he opened Leonard with his tongue. He fondled Leonard’s erection and Leonard groaned, nearly sobbing now each time Spock reached up to rub the head of his cock, or pressed hard at his glans, or pinched the loose flesh of his testicles and rolled them. Leonard began to relax around his tongue and soon Spock was stabbing into him, drawing out and shoving back inside to lick him. The subtle taste of soap faded until all he could taste was Leonard’s arousal, his skin.

He released Leonard’s testicles and used his hand to gather oil. He trailed two slick fingers along Leonard’s open body and let the oil pour over his hole. He pulled out his tongue and replaced it with his forefinger, marveling once again at Leonard’s tightness as he slipped inside.

Leonard keened again as he entered him with that first finger, making muffled sounds against his gag. Spock kept his touch light on Leonard’s erection even as he searched for and found Leonard’s prostate. He brushed against it and Leonard bucked beneath him, nearly shouting.

He pulled back, gathered more oil, and pushed two fingers inside to do it again. It was almost difficult to do, but with steady pressure he managed to enter Leonard. He kept his touch careful, feeling Leonard’s cock in his hand for any signs he was about to orgasm. With the ropes around him it would be difficult for Leonard to do so, but not impossible. Spock would have to be careful. He didn’t want Leonard to come until he was inside of him.

Two fingers was almost too much for Leonard and so Spock took his time. He fingered Leonard as he sat up again on his heels, looking forward at the screen.

Leonard had buried his head in the mat so that Spock couldn’t see him, but he knew the holo-camera would be picking up more than the two-dimensional image. There would be complete composite at the end of this for him to return to. Still, he desired to see Leonard’s face, but it would have to wait.

Finally, Leonard loosened enough for Spock to slide in a third finger. The fourth came much later as Leonard sobbed against the mat, and then Spock withdrew altogether.

He left Leonard shaking there and took a moment to admire him. Leonard was so beautiful like this, his hole now slick with oil, his back hunched and tense, neck flushed with arousal and embarrassment. His whimpers were broken and Spock soothed his flank, kissing his hip with his fingers.

“Do you wish for me to stop?”

Leonard shook his head instantly and his hips lifted slightly, as much as the ropes would allow. Spock resisted the warmth building in his side and pushed Leonard back down, reaching over to pick up the insertion tool by the handle.

He slipped it into the oil and wetted it thoroughly, until the smooth stone was glistening. It left drops on his mat as he maneuvered it against Leonard’s entrance.

“Can you feel it?” he asked, and Leonard nodded against the ground. “Good. Good, Leonard. You are doing well to accept all this. I am going to insert it now. Breathe with me.”

Leonard was shaking, panting harshly as Spock slipped the spade-shaped head just inside. Spock listened for Leonard’s breath to calm and then he tightened his grip on the handle, angling so that leverage allowed him to push almost effortlessly against Leonard’s last resistance.

Beneath him, Leonard shuddered as the first sphere stretched him past capacity and then slipped in. Spock reached beneath him and fondled his cock, pinching the base as an added deterrent, and then he pushed again. The second sphere was larger and Leonard groaned, his body stretching lewdly and dripping with oil as Spock forced it inside. Leonard choked and started shaking his head.

Spock held the insertion tool still. “Leonard? Do you require me to stop?”

Leonard writhed against the floor and Spock couldn’t understand him, so he reached up and undid the knot to Leonard’s gag. It dropped to the mat with a wet sound and Leonard sucked in a painful-sounding breath.

“Leonard,” Spock asked again, patiently. “Do you require me to stop?”

“Sp—” Leonard clenched his jaw, his whole body undulating. “Spock, I-I don’t think I can.”

“You are fully capable, Leonard. What prevents you from seeing that?”

“Mm, I—please, I can’t…” He trailed off, panting, his body clenching and unclenching around the insertion tool. “I c-can’t like this. It’s too much. I-I need to come.”

Spock arched his brow, looking down at Leonard curiously. “You need to come,” he repeated.

“I just—fuck. It feels too fucking good. It hurts, Spock, please. L-let me come?”

Spock considered. He ran his hand between Leonard’s legs again and brushed his thumb over Leonard’s aching erection. Leonard keened at the contact.

“Please!”

“I wish for you to come while I am inside of you.”

“Fuck.” Leonard buried his face against the mat again. “God damnit when you say things like that I-I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“I believe you are capable of staving off an orgasm until that time.”

“Spock—! I can’t—I don’t want to. Damnit, Spock, please. I need to come.”

Spock squeezed him, slowly increasing the pressure of his hand until Leonard was howling and writhing at his touch. He held Leonard like that, his hand harsh but his words calm. “You can withstand this pleasure.”

“I can’t! It’s too much,” he sobbed. “I can’t, please I can’t, I—”

“I know you, Leonard. You are doing so well for me.” He began to stroke Leonard, the ropes oddly textured against his hand. “We are nearly to third stage, Leonard.” He rocked the insertion tool inside his body and Leonard shouted again. “Do you wish for me to remove this?”

“N-no, Spock no, I...I just can’t. Please, it hurts to feel this good for so long.”

Spock hummed. He rocked the insertion tool again and Leonard sobbed brokenly. “You are so beautiful like this, Leonard.”

Leonard made a shattered sound, begging in no language Spock knew.

“It is nearly inside.” He began rocking it back and forth, the heavy rock dragging against Leonard’s tight wet hole. He let his touch grow light on Leonard’s cock again. “Let me fill you, Leonard.”

He sobbed again, nodding furiously against the ground as Spock pushed forward. Leonard lifted his hips and tried to press back against the force but he was incapable with the ropes binding him. He was at Spock’s mercy as Spock opened him with the final sphere, letting the widest part of it stretch Leonard lewdly for quite some time before finally pushing it inside, settling it against Leonard’s prostate.

That contact had Leonard moaning again. He twitched in pleasure and Spock could see him shaking to keep still. “Please,” he whispered. “Please, I can’t. It’s too much. Too much.”

Spock released his grip on the handle and was pleased when it stayed locked inside of Leonard. “You can. You are doing so right now.”

He shook his head again and then gasped as Spock fully released his erection. “W-wait—”

“Thank you for assisting me in entering the third stage of meditation.”

Leonard jerked against the floor and then groaned as the action shifted the insertion tool inside of him. “God damned Vulcan! Please Spock, please have the decency to help me!”

Spock settled back on his heels to watch Leonard struggle. Truthfully, he was further from the third stage than ever. The sight of Leonard so aroused had aroused him in turn, and he’d lost the calm of the second stage as well. He was technically still in the first stage and so he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, and then he was merely himself.

He opened his eyes again. Leonard was shaking—his body shimmering, ropes twisting and creaking—as he cursed at him. Spock knew each time he moved it was likely tugging at the ropes that enclosed his cock. Certainly it was shifting the insertion tool inside of him. It really did look heavy there, and too impossibly thick for how tight Leonard was. Since Leonard could not see him, Spock let his legs fall open and he reached between his thighs.

His slit was pouring out wetness and he sighed silently as he slid his fingers inside, listening to Leonard’s complaints. He was bargaining in earnest now.

“Please, I—God damnit —” he broke off as the plug shifted again, making him gasp. He held very still. “Spock, please let me come. I-I’ll do whatever you want. You can fuck me ‘til the damned cows come home if you want! What do you want from me? I...I’ll let you win our next argument, no questions asked. I’ll give you a damned compliment on the bridge if you just please —” he gasped, shuddering, “ Please let me come!”

Spock remained silent, biting his lip as he let his cock slip out into the warm air of his quarters. He stroked himself lightly, merely to alleviate the edge of his arousal as Leonard went silent.

Leonard started twisting around, trying to look over his shoulder at Spock. When he couldn’t do it he lifted his chin and tried to catch a glimpse of Spock as the camera lens saw him. But Spock had set the preview image to keep a close watch on Leonard, and Spock wasn’t in the frame. Defeated, and no doubt helplessly aroused as all of his movement bumped the insertion tool inside of him, Leonard let his head fall back against the ground.

“H-how long is the third stage?” he whispered.

Spock knew he didn’t expect an answer, but he still said, “Generally it lasts one to two hours.”

Leonard groaned weakly. “I-I can’t. Spock, please. I’m about to—fuck, I’m so fucking close right now. You can’t keep me on edge for an hour.”

“I do not intend to,” Spock said, and then suddenly he was behind Leonard, his robe parting so he could slide his burning hot erection down beneath Leonard’s body, between his external testicles and the wilting flowers in his hands. “Do you feel my intention towards you?”

“Yes! Spock, yes! Please!”

He rutted against Leonard, taking the handle of the tool in his hand and rocking it into Leonard’s body. “Your body is impossible to resist,” he murmured. “I feel the heat of your arousal.”

“Yes,” he cried again. “Please, Spock, just let me come. I’ll come so good for you if you’ll just let me.”

“What do you desire?”

“I-I don’t—”

“Tell me, Leonard,” Spock said easily, his tone measured. “Tell me what you desire.”

“Y-you.”

“In what way?”

“M-make me, please make me—” He cried out as Spock rocked the tool inside of him more forcefully, letting the full weight of it fall again against his prostate. “Ah! Ah, fuck! I want your cock, okay!? Please, Spock, just fuck me.”

“I see.” Spock did not attempt to make him say it more kindly, although it would have been an amusing distraction. Instead he began to slowly remove the insertion tool, rocking it in and out. He slipped from Leonard’s back and reached between his legs to fondle his burning hot erection.

“ Please ,” Leonard begged, face fully pressed against the mat. “Please, I-I need you in me. God, I need, I need it so bad I just—I just want to come and I— ah— Spock I don’t—ah, wait!”

It was too late. Leonard suddenly balked beneath him, his whole body shuddering and writhing and Spock was shocked to feel wetness spilling out over his fingers. Leonard came into his hand despite the ropes that bound him, sobbing in pleasure as his arousal finally proved to be too much and he was peaking. His thighs shook with the force of it, his voice raw and wrecked as he cried out. Dazed, Spock kept stroking him, Leonard’s come sliding wet and sticky over the ropes that still looped around him.

“Spock—” Leonard whispered, hiccuping. “Spock, I-I didn’t meant to…”

“Shh,” Spock soothed him, carefully removing the last of the insertion tool from Leonard’s body. Leonard sobbed as it slipped from him, his slick hole glistening and obscenely gaping. “It is no matter, Leonard. I will simply have to make you orgasm a second time around me.”

Leonard started to say something but it grew garbled as Spock squeezed his limp, spent cock. Spock kept stroking him even as he began to shake his head. “Nnn—I don’t—Spock I don’t think I can—”

“Shh, Leonard. You are doing so well.” Spock took himself in hand and rested the angled head of his cock against Leonard’s entrance. “You still want this?”

“Yes,” Leonard sobbed, even as he tried futilely to twist his cock from Spock’s hands.

“You want me inside of you?”

“ Yes , God damn it.”

“Good,” Spock breathed, and he pushed inside.

Leonard keened as Spock pushed past his stretched hole and into the velvet heat of his body. His cock was still limp and he was whimpering now as Spock filled him, claimed him, took him, but he was so tight. Spock marveled at the sounds he wrenched from Leonard’s raw throat as he penetrated him in one steady motion, finally bottoming out with his hips pressed flush against Leonard’s bound ass.

He released the base of his erection and reached up, tangling his hand in Leonard’s hair and yanking back his head. Leonard’s face filled the frame of the camera, flushed red and streaked with tears. His lips were swollen from biting them and his tongue hung listlessly from his mouth as he panted. His eyes were screwed tightly shut. He hardly seemed to notice Spock pulling his hair until Spock leaned in, crushing the flowers between them, and growled into his ear.

“Let me see you.”

Weakly, Leonard opened his eyes, blue and sparkling, and met Spock’s gaze in the camera. With Spock low over his body they could see each other, and Spock could make out every minute detail of Leonard’s next moan as he slowly slipped from Leonard’s body and then gradually pushed back in.

“Spock…”

He seemed incapable of saying more as Spock took him on the ground. Spock kept his motions slow and steady, not wanting to lose control before Leonard had orgasmed again. Leonard was growing hard again in his hand, his cock filling even as he shuddered, the stimulation far too much for his sensitive human body, murmuring desperately as Spock took him.

Spock kissed the back of Leonard’s neck, the flowers now ruined between them. He dropped Leonard’s hair and reached down to grab the rope behind his neck. The leverage was better then, and he could move languidly as he rocked inside of Leonard’s slick wet heat. Leonard seemed greedy for him, sucking him into that tightness that was just for Spock to take.

Leonard was moaning again as Spock found his prostate with his erection, letting himself rub against that spot again and again and again. “Too much,” Leonard whispered, “Too much, Spock, I can’t…”

“I believe you can. Look at yourself.”

Leonard turned his face away and Spock shook him. Finally, Leonard turned and looked into the screen, his face overcome with deep ecstasy.

“Look, Leonard. You are doing it. You are taking me.”

“I...it’s…”

“Does it feel good?”

“...Yes?” Leonard whispered, confused. “You feel—Spock, I-I’m too sensitive, I can’t…”

Spock squeezed Leonard’s abused cock in his hand and Leonard’s head fell limply on his neck. Spock let him do it, not demanding Leonard look at himself again. “Do you wish for me to stop?”

Leonard shuddered. Shook his head.

“What do you need?”

“Feels...too much…”

Spock was aware, but he did not stop the gentle rolling of his hips, letting Leonard’s tightness envelop him. Leonard was full and hot in his hand and Spock stroked him without pretense, not trying for anything fancy. He wished only for Leonard to come again, to feel that pleasure rolling off of him in waves. Spock could feel some of it now, and knew that although the arousal felt like it was too much for Leonard he was truly basking in it. Leonard’s mouth fell open and soft moans came tumbling out as Spock slide into him.

“Spock…”

“Yes, Leonard?”

“Getting...close…”

“Good.” He tightened his grip on the ropes behind Leonard’s neck, rocking Leonard back onto his cock repeatedly. “You’re doing well, ashayam.” He hurried on, hoping Leonard wouldn’t catch the strange word. “So well. You are beautiful wrapped around me. I only wish to see you come again, to feel you tighten around me as you tightened around the toy I put inside of you.”

Leonard murmured meekly. “It was...meant for you…”

Spock’s heart soared at the words. “Yes,” he whispered, harsh.

“Meant for you...didn’t mean to...oh, Spock, oh. Oh.”

Leonard shuddered beneath him, his neck arching back as he came against Spock’s fingers a second time. His body clenched around Spock and Spock held himself still, merely feeling every minute twitch and roll of his pleasure. Leonard had little space to maneuver in the ropes but he made the most of it, his shoulders flexing, bottom squeezing around Spock. Spock could feel the flowers in Leonard’s hands shifting against his inner thighs as Leonard quivered with the force of his orgasm.

Spock milked it until he was shuddering and then dropped Leonard’s limp cock. He raised his wet hand and took hold of the ropes tightly in both fists, and then he began thrusting.

Leonard was spent beneath him, and Spock mercifully avoided his tender prostate. He merely took Leonard’s body, watching the way Leonard rocked limply with the force of his thrusts. Leonard’s head lolled against the floor and Spock leaned over him so that he could gaze down. Leonard’s eyes were half-lidded, fluttering, and Spock wondered if he had lost consciousness.

He was awake now, and mewling, eyes rolling back into his head as Spock took him for his own pleasure. Spock had been awaiting this moment all evening, since Leonard had first walked through his door, and he took advantage of it now. He mapped every inch of Leonard’s heat with his erection, letting himself fill Leonard and, in turn, be filled with Leonard’s utter joy at being taken like this. It rolled off of him in waves, and although Leonard was psi-null he certainly knew how to project to Spock. Spock drank it in eagerly, filling himself with Leonard’s happiness as he thrust into Leonard’s warmth, arousal pooling low in his belly.

He gave himself over to it, spilling out into Leonard’s waiting body with a soft moan that surprised him. He pushed his mark deep, rocking his hips as the pleasure traveled down to his fingertips, electric sparks making him twitch and tingle. He held still when he was done, counting the breaths until he came down from his peak.

Slowly, he pulled out, basking in Leonard’s groan of disappointment.

Spock felt dazed. He sat on his haunches and looked down at Leonard. Then, as an afterthought, he reached over his body and flicked off the holocamera. The screen went blank and Spock trailed his hands down Leonard’s spine and between his legs.

He set aside the flowers and began undoing the bonds in reverse order. Soon Leonard was stretching his arms above his head as he lay on the ground, groaning in discomfort. Spock straddled his back and began to massage his shoulders, kneading at his tangled muscles until Leonard was groaning of relaxation instead.

Leonard still wore his harness. Spock began to pluck the flowers from it and set them aside in a broken pile, massaging Leonard’s muscles as he went. He had the fleeting thought that thousands of years ago Vulcans would have kept the flowers to be used another time, to prevent wastefulness. He and Leonard seemed incapable of that.

Spock leaned down and kissed the shell of his ear. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

Leonard laughed against the ground. “Spock, you’d better let me stay. I don’t think I could even walk after that.”

He was capable of standing, however, and Spock rolled him over onto his back and held out his hand. Leonard took it and he pulled Leonard to his feet. He did seem off balance, and he leaned fully against Spock as Spock worked the ropes down off his body to puddle on the floor. He would deal with them later.

It was testament to his exhaustion that Leonard didn’t protest as Spock lifted him into his arms. He cradled Leonard against his chest and Leonard murmured something soft and pleasant as he walked into the other room to lay Leonard down on his bed.

He tucked him in, kissing his temple again. “I will clean up and then come to join you.”

Leonard nodded, muffling a yawn against the back of his hand.

Spock did clean up, working steadily and—if he was honest—hastily so that he could join Leonard again. He wiped the mat clean of Leonard’s spent orgasm and put away their accoutrements. He snuffed out the incense. He disinfected the ropes and the insertion tool before putting them away as well, and then he tossed out the broken flowers. He set aside the holocamera to be encrypted later. Finally, he replicated two sandwiches from his low-yield replicator and went back into the sleeping alcove.

He paused in the doorway, warmth spreading through his side again. Leonard was asleep, sprawled across the bed with his mouth slightly open. His hair was fuzzy and his face was lax. Spock turned down the lights and tiptoed in.

He ate his own sandwich and left the other one one the bedside table for Leonard. He contemplated working, but he decided against it. Leonard lying naked and peaceful in his bed was too tempting. He slipped in alongside him and pulled the covers over them both, rearranging Leonard so they fit.

Leonard murmured but didn’t awaken; he merely buried his face against Spock’s chest. Spock held him in the darkness, running his hands through Leonard’s hair, and contemplated the nature of their relationship.

—

He awoke some hours later to an empty bed. Spock felt the space beside him and found that it was still warm. There was a glow of light coming from the living area. Spock saw that the sandwich was missing and so he rose to investigate the situation.

He could see Leonard, but Leonard could not see him. He was lounging on the couch with Spock’s meditation robe drawn loosely around his naked body, a datapadd in hand. No, not a datapadd, Spock saw, stepping closer. A holocamera. And Leonard was touching himself.

His own voice came through, a tinny recording, “ You’re doing well, Ashayam.”

“Doctor.”

Leonard jumped as if he’d just been caught stealing and quickly dropped his erection, fumbling off the screen. “Spock, I—”

“You could not sleep?”

Leonard turned to him fully, hastily folding the robe around himself. He looked guilty. “Just got up to get a glass of water and saw the camera there and I thought… Well, I thought I should take a look at what all the fuss is about.”

“Fuss?”

“Why you’re always trying to… keep mementos of our time together.”

“Ah. If you wished to know, you could have simply asked.”

Leonard’s gaze skittered away from him. “Spock, if we’re going to have this conversation could you at least put some pants on?”

Spock considered the proposal and rejected it. He stepped forward, gliding across the floor towards the couch. Leonard shifted backwards as he did so, looking surprised as Spock merely sat down beside him. “What did you discover during your inquiry?”

“Well, I…” Leonard looked at the holocamera with a mixture of surprise and...concern? “I saw you looking at me.”

Spock reached out, touching Leonard’s arm. “I have told you that I enjoy looking at you.”

“Yeah, but not like this.” Leonard paused, taking a deep breath, and then went on. “I mean you really look at me.”

He said nothing, uncertain what Leonard wanted from him.

After a moment, Leonard laughed. He set aside the holocamera and turned to Spock. “Sorry, I’m being stupid.”

“You are not stupid,” Spock said mildly. He glanced down at the triangle of skin that peeked from between the folds of his robe on Leonard’s body and took a breath. “Did it arouse you?”

Leonard froze. “Yeah.”

“Is that why you were masturbating?” His skin really was far too enticing, and Spock shifted his hand to press his palm against Leonard’s chest.

“You, uh, noticed that did you?” Leonard flushed with embarrassment.

“I have never seen you touch yourself. It was intriguing.”

Leonard shifted, and it seemed to be an unconscious movement except for the way it allowed Spock’s hand to slip beneath the robe, pushing it from Leonard’s shoulder. “What about you?”

“I do not understand.”

“Why do you keep the pictures?”

“Ah.” Spock contemplated for a moment, rubbing his thumb in small circles against Leonard’s sternum. “In the between-time, images of the kafeh bound were rendered in paints and were intended to train their Vulcan masters to resist temptation.”

Leonard grunted. “So that’s what you do with them? Look at them and resist?”

“I assure you, Leonard,” Spock said wryly, slowly pushing the robe apart so that Leonard was exposed to him, his chest rising and falling as he began to pant. “I do very little resisting.”

Leonard gasped. His hands came to Spock’s bare thighs, just holding him. “You mean you—”

“I often touch myself.” He pushed his hand lower. “Masturbation is not logical, of course. But I cannot prevent myself from indulging when I think of you.” He was at the tie at Leonard’s waist, now, and he undid it with a deft flick of his wrist and Leonard’s erection thrust up into the still night air. “I am pleased to know you do the same.”

“Spock—”

“Remove this,” Spock said, plucking at the fabric of the robe. “So that I might see you.”

Leonard’s flush deepened. He rose and slipped the robe from his shoulders, laying it against the arm of the couch. Spock reached out to him, taking Leonard by the hips so that he could draw his—friend in close and nose against his sex. Leonard gasped at the contact, his hand falling to Spock’s shoulder to squeeze in encouragement.

“Leonard,” he whispered, mouthing over his beautiful human erection and his fascinating external testicles. “May I touch you?”

“Y-yeah. Yes, Spock, please.”

“Lie across me.”

Leonard obeyed, following the direction of Spock’s hands, and soon Leonard was lying on his back across Spock’s thighs, his feet tucked against the opposite arm of the couch. Spock took his wrists and drew them up so that Leonard’s fingers rested against the other arm.

He murmured, “Keep them there,” and grew warm as Leonard nodded.

Leonard kept himself stretched out beneath Spock’s searching hands, his intense gaze. Spock knew he looked intense because of the way Leonard’s breath caught in his chest. Spock looked at Leonard and allowed Leonard to see everything, all of him. All that the camera had caught and rendered in flickering holograms he poured out now, into his touch.

“Spock…”

He brushed back Leonard’s hair and Leonard arched into the contact, moaning as Spock wrapped his other hand around Leonard’s erection and began to stroke.

“Yes, please…” He was writhing now, his fingers digging into the fabric of the couch as Spock touched him. “Feels...good.”

“I am surprised,” Spock said softly. “You seemed exhausted earlier this evening.”

Leonard chuckled warmly. “Something about you, Spock. I can’t stay exhausted for long.” His breath hitched as Spock gently squeezed him and then released his grip, going back to long loose strokes. “I-I wish you’d touch me just a little harder, though.”

“I enjoy touching you like this, Leonard. I wish to prolong the experience.”

Leonard bit at his lower lip, his blue gaze hooded. “Guess I can’t argue with that.”

“Indeed.” The feeling of Leonard writhing against him was making his sheath pick up in interest, and rather than contain his erection Spock allowed it to happen naturally. It slowly slipped out, centimeter by centimeter, poking against Leonard’s lower back and making him gasp.

“Spock.” His arms were tense above his head. “T-tell me something.”

“Yes?”

“Tell me what you meant.”

Spock continued to stroke him even as worry began to build within him. Perhaps his meditation had not been as effective as he’d hoped. “I...do not understand.”

“I think you do.” Leonard’s hips pushed up into the loose circle of Spock’s fingers. “Twice tonight you spoke Vulcan at me and then did everything you could to pretend you didn’t.”

Spock stilled his hand and Leonard groaned.

“Hey, now, I didn’t say stop …”

“Leonard, I apologize,” Spock said quietly. “I do not view our relationship as you do.”

“Oh?”

“I called you…” He burned with shame; he was nearly lit with it. He looked away from Leonard, his jaw tense. “ Kafeh , you know the word.”

“Yes.” His hips twitched up again. “Spock, I… like being that for you.”

Spock turned back to him, surprised. But the look on Leonard’s face gave him the courage to say that next thing, “And I called you my beloved.”

He sighed, blue eyes sparkling. His lips were upturned in a smile. “Figured that’s what you were saying.”

“Leonard, I do not wish to be ‘friends with benefits.’ Such a relationship would not be fulfilling to me.” Spock began to stroke Leonard again, marveling as Leonard’s hips lifted into his touch and his mouth fell open in pleasure. “I wish to go steady with you.”

Leonard laughed, breathless. “Go steady? Where’d you learn that?”

“My research—”

“Your research is—” He hissed, thrusting up into Spock’s hand and then down to rub against Spock’s burgeoning erection. “—It’s interesting. Makes me wonder how much of what you turned up about Vulcan rituals is true. What does ‘go steady’ mean to you?”

“I wish to continue our sexual relationship.” He squeezed to demonstrate and then lifted his hand, playing with Leonard’s glans in a way that made him mewl with pleasure. “But I also wish to develop new intimacies with you. I wish to bathe you again. I wish to kiss you in the morning. I wish to sit near you in the evenings as we complete our work. I wish to walk through the halls of the Enterprise arm-in-arm. I wish to eat meals with you in public and in private. I wish to show you off to the crew. I wish to be yours exclusively, and you mine.”

Leonard was moaning by the end of his proclamation. “N-not very logical, is it?”

“I do not know.”

“Spock, I…I’m already yours.” He buried his face against his arm, an ineffectual hiding place. “God dammit, I’m so yours I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Then you agree?”

“Agree? I—” He shuddered, hips rocking as Spock wrapped his hand around him again. “I-I couldn’t say ‘no’ to you.”

Spock stilled, merely holding Leonard, and said, “That does not confirm you want this.”

“Fuck,” Leonard groaned. “Spock, what do you want me to say?”

“Tell me what you desire.”

Leonard held very still, his hips shivering, his cock warm in Spock’s grasp. He bit at his lip and closed his eyes, breath hitching. “I...want you to make love to me.”

Spock thrilled at his words, but he kept himself still. “Now?”

“Yes, now, for God’s sake. What did you think I meant? Next century some time?”

“How, Leonard?”

Leonard gulped, his throat enticingly bobbing with desire. “I want you inside me again.”

Spock squeezed him again, marveling as Leonard’s hips jolted up towards his hand, and then dropped him. He lifted Leonard’s legs up to his chest to give himself room to maneuver so that he was kneeling on the couch, his erection sliding between Leonard’s cheeks and over his fluttering hole still wet from their meditation. “Like this?” he breathed.

“Yes.” Leonard’s head was thrown back, his chest rising and falling, his fingers tight against the arm of the couch to keep himself from moving. “ Please Spock.”

He ran his fingers through Leonard’s hair, petting him, and Leonard yearned towards the touch. “You are beautiful, Leonard.”

“Spock—”

“It is logical to state the truth,” he said simply, and Leonard rumbled beneath him as he chuckled. Spock thrust against him, rubbing over his sensitive skin, and then took himself in hand.

He pressed against Leonard’s hole and Leonard arched at the pressure, his body quivering with desire, his cock thick and dripping against his belly. Spock pushed, rocking his hips forward, splitting Leonard easily as Leonard opened to him.

A gasp. A moan that could have come from either of them. Leonard was wet and slick, soft inside and greedy for Spock. His legs came around Spock’s hips and tugged him in, drawing Spock fully into his body as he quaked with desire. Spock ran his hands over Leonard’s chest, his stomach, his hips, just feeling the way he shook and writhed at the pleasure of being taken.

“You can touch me,” Spock told him, drawing out his hips minutely before pushing back into that tight, wet heat.

Leonard’s hands were on him immediately, palms flat against his shoulders to pull him down, and Spock noted that he would have to do this more often—take Leonard when he was unbound, fully free to touch Spock everywhere. And touch him he did. He tugged Spock until their lips met and then he let his hands roam over Spock’s back and down to cup his buttocks and draw him in. Spock thrust into him, the sound of their bodies moving in tandem wet and lewd, and Spock slipped his tongue into Leonard’s mouth.

Leonard groaned, opening for Spock easily there as well. It was astonishing how Leonard could be like this for Spock—and only for Spock, he realized with a flutter of something akin to happiness, although he would never admit it. Leonard had asked him to make love to him. Leonard wanted him.

He held Leonard close, pinching his dry cock between their bodies as he took Leonard on the couch. Leonard groaned as each stroke stimulated his prostate, leaving him leaking over their stomachs. Spock reached up and ran his hands through Leonard’s hair again and then kissed his way down Leonard’s jaw to his neck.

The contact made Leonard shudder in delight. “Spock, please.”

“Yes, Ashayam?”

He gasped. “M-more?”

“You desire my touch?”

“Yes. Yes, Spock, please touch— ah!” He arched up as Spock curled his fingers around Leonard’s erection, tugging at his aroused flesh with a firm hand.

“You enjoy this.” Spock kissed along his neck and shoulder, nipping at him with teeth and lips.

“Yes!”

“You need my touch. You need me inside of you.”

“Yes, Spock please, don’t stop, I—”

Spock lifted his lips to Leonard’s chin, his jaw, then just beneath his ear. “I require it as well. I am incomplete without you, Leonard.” Leonard keened and he took Leonard’s lobe into his mouth, rolling it between his teeth. “I wish for you to come.”

He laughed breathlessly. “I-I do, too.”

Spock could feel how close he was and he increased the speed of his thrusts, wishing to fill Leonard as he came. Leonard’s hands were on the back of his neck, drawing Spock’s head up so that their lips could meet once more. Leonard was open for him, gasping, and Spock swallowed Leonard’s desperation as he began to shake, his cock twitching against Spock’s fingers. Wetness fell between them and Spock stroked him through it, feeling the echoes of Leonard’s desire and ecstasy reverberate between them and he gasped. Leonard moaned against him, legs tight around his waist, as he thrust thrice more and then spilled out into Leonard’s waiting body.

Leonard had gone weak and limp beneath him, but his mouth was still searching, planting small kisses over Spock’s face as he caught his breath. Spock turned into the contact and their lips met, tongues curling together lazily as they came back to themselves.

He pulled out of Leonard’s body and Leonard groaned, the disappointment still palpable. Spock lifted his head to look down at him, one eyebrow arched.

“What?” Leonard squirmed in embarrassment. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

Spock had a thousand reasons, and so he picked one. “I am contemplating whether to take you to the arboretum tomorrow, or to the observation deck.”

Leonard hummed, his warm hands sliding over Spock’s skin as they disentangled. “Arboretum is nice, but all those flowers… I’m not sure I’d be able to concentrate without thinking about… meditation.”

“Indeed.” Spock frowned at the thought. “A valid concern.”

Leonard laughed and sat up to take Spock’s jaw in his hand and draw him in for a kiss, the fingers of his other hand trailing over Spock’s wrist and palm. “Wherever you take me is fine, Spock.”

“Then you are… amenable? To a change in our relationship?”

He pulled away, his gaze soft and warm. He studied Spock for a moment, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “I am,” he said finally, after Spock had nearly had an emotional reaction driven by the stress of waiting for him to answer. “I’m more than amenable, Spock. I… want to go steady with you, too.”

“An interesting turn of phrase, Doctor,” Spock teased. “Somewhat archaic.”

Leonard rolled his eyes and pinched Spock’s thumb. “Don’t you start.”

“I have never stopped.”

Leonard laughed, bright and pure, and pulled Spock in. Spock thought it was for a kiss but Leonard’s arms merely wrapped around him, their bodies flush but non-sexual. A new intimacy. A hug.

They held each other in those early-morning minutes until Leonard yawned, shifting against him sleepily.

“I suppose we should try to get some more sleep.”

“Yes.” Spock kissed the side of his face and then rose, offering Leonard his hand.

Leonard accepted it. They walked together, hand-in-hand, to Spock’s rumpled bed. Tomorrow, Spock would let Leonard sleep late and then he would dress him. He would choose clothes from his own wardrobe: sweaters inlaid with Vulcan characters, pants made to fit his narrow waist that would be tight around Leonard. He would dress Leonard so that all would know where he had been the night before. Who he belonged to now, and who belonged to him. Soon, perhaps, Spock could broach the subject of a meld with Leonard, and they could decide together whether that was what they wanted. A bond forged of mutual desire, mutual love. Something that would bring them closer to one another than ever before.

For now, Spock pulled Leonard into bed beside him and they tangled together, bare skin pleasant and soothing, psychic energy rippling between them. Leonard’s calm and serenity flowed out of him and into Spock and Spock accepted the feeling with gratitude, feeling not an ounce of shame despite the flagrant emotionalism he had expressed tonight. There was nothing shameful in loving Leonard, he had decided.

He closed his eyes and listened to Leonard’s soft breathing, feeling warm. Tomorrow, he thought, he would begin the process of letting all the universe know that he loved Leonard McCoy. But for tonight, the only person who truly mattered already knew—indeed, was sleeping peacefully with that knowledge.

Spock held him close and slept as well, content.