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Summary
for checkplsdude on tumblr who is having a really rough time right now and could use some distraction
pre-zimbits slightly angsty fluff, sometime after they lose the playoffs - roughly Jack’s POV - the alternating of Bitty’s nicknames and real name is intentional and not just sloppy writing :)
Series
- Part 2 of Missing Scenes
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Bookmark Notes:
Protective Jack
.
"Wanna hear something really offensive?” It’s a code phrase they use between just the two of them. He’s never this unguarded with anyone but Shits.
[.] “Fuckin-A I would!”
Jack looks pointedly over at where Bits is still wedged in the tree, striped tank top covered in leaves and his absurd shorts invisible where he’s bent at the waist, looking like he’s not wearing any at all.
[.] “It’s like having a little girl around.”
Shitty’s eyes follow Jack’s to Bitty, then widen and he whistles low. “Duuuuuuuuude!” he whispers in awe of just how little he was prepared for the offensiveness.
Jack squints his eyes once and tries to trace back his thinking, the way his therapist had taught him to do when his brain supplied him with an unexpectedly terrible thought. (“Social conditioning, Jack. You can undo it.”)
“No, it’s like,” he says with deliberation, “it’s not like a girl. Obviously I don’t think of Bittle as a girl.” He notices Shitty’s posture loosen a bit once he’s said this. “But also because I never panic about Lardo like this. Or any girl. I don’t think girls are weak. It’s more like Bittle is a target and everywhere he goes someone wants to hurt him. Like he’s just constantly about to get hurt or…” Jack doesn’t say ‘killed’ because that would be indulging his anxiety to a dangerous degree.
Shitty’s expression softens into understanding. “You mean the way you see a little kid and you know all the scary, horrible shit that they don’t know yet?”
Jack nods slightly
[.] Shitty takes a drag from the joint and speaks without breathing. “Bits isn’t a little kid,” he breathes out slow and deep, “but his innocence despite knowing the world is full of fuck and shit makes him seem even more special and you want to protect him even more?”
Jack blinks. Slowly he turns one of his arms over and points directly at Shitty’s face. Shitty writhes in delight.
“I know, I’m a poet and a scholar. Anytime you need me to de-asshole your masculine thinking, man"
.
“Look what you guys have done to him,” Jack chides, extending his arm and making a beckoning motion with his hand. Bitty literally skips over to the steps and lets Jack pull leaves and wipe dirt from his clothes. His chest is rising and falling like a bellows with giddy energy but he stays still. “Completely covered in it,” Jack says in a grumble. The guys all hear the amusement in his voice as he swipes off patches of dirt stuck to where Bits is sweaty.
“Oh hey, you missed a spot!” Shitty reaches over with one hand to wipe imaginary dirt from Bitty’s ass, who rolls his eyes but is still glowing and smiling. Ransom and Holster both hoot and laugh from where they’ve reclined on the lawn chairs, egging Shitty on. Jack smacks his hand and tugs Bitty to stand closer between his legs with a comical look of disapproval at the shenanigans.
.
Jack is so wrapped up in watching Bitty’s eyes squint shut as he laughs that he doesn’t register his hands still holding him lightly by the hips between his own spread legs. He doesn’t attempt to move them when he does. This is the type of moment Jack’s mind had clung to when his body felt cut off from the rest of him, lying cold and limp in a hospital bed. The feeling of innocent joy, warm sunshine, affection and belonging. Rare but crucial moments from his childhood and teens that he could summon up in perfect clarity even through the haze of the drugs. A something sweet in particular that boys like him were not supposed to experience after childhood. He knows to recognise and hold onto those moments even more now. This is the feeling that reminded Jack of all the sensations of Life. Here with his friends on a perfect early summer day, the grass grown long, laughter singing in the air like a breeze…and Bittle, who feels like a ray of sunshine caught between Jack’s two hands. Whose light never seems to age or dim no matter what happens to him. It’s no wonder that Jack had so viciously envied him that before finally accepting a share of it into his own life.
.
“Hey, you’ll let one of us know if we ever get too rough with you, right?”
This earns him a glowing smile, the little cluster of Bitty’s slightly crooked bottom teeth showing. “Of course I will, Jack! You guys never roughhouse with me as bad as you do with each other, lord. I think I get it pretty easy.”
Jack’s brain has just begun to commandeer his hands into tugging Bittle into his lap without fully knowing why
.
Jack looks back down at Bitty, putting on his best stern captain face.
“Bittle! Shower. Class.”
A little thrill passes over BItty’s face before he scrambles up the steps and through the door.
Jack notes the smear of dirt under the hem of his shorts as he goes, idly regretting not seeing it before to wipe it off