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“So, you wanna adopt a grub? For fucking real?”, Karkat asked as he sat down by the kitchen table, sipping on his cup of coffee, looking curious at his boyfriends, John Egbert and Dave Strider, which both nodded.
“Yeah, me and Dave thought about it for a while, so why not? I would love to be a parent”, John said. “But only if you’re in on it too”.
“Eh have you ever seen a grub? The only thing they do is shit, hiss at you and mess things up. And they bite so fucking hard”.
“So, like you?”, Dave said, which made Karkat growl a blond man and fellow god of the new Earth.
“Fuck you”.
“Well if you insist, but I’m pretty sure both me and John are exhausted, we don't have weird tentacles that can go on forever like you”.
“Ugh… you are way too much. Why do you even want a grub anyway?”.
“Well we are almost thirty and we thought a family would be nice”, John said, and Karkat groaned.
“No, I mean, why do you want a shitty grub when you can have a human baby? Those things are a bit less evil”.
“Well we thought about that too”, Dave said.
“But grubs are way too cute”, John continued.
“I would tolerate a human baby way more than a grub”.
“But Karkat… please”, John continued, and he looked at Dave. “C’mon help me out here Dave”, but he just shrugged.
“I'm fine either way. It would be nice with a human and it would be nice with a grub, we are in an interspecies relationship after all and that”.
“Yeah you got a point there. Whatever we choose the child would be one of our races”. John said. “But I still vote grub. I want a tiny red mini Karkat”.
“Why do you want a mini version of the grumpiest troll on New Earth? He would probably just bite you after shitting on your face”.
“Shut the fuck up Dave. Grubs may be shitty but atleast candy red grubs have some class, unlike those drooling human babies that can't do a single thing right”.
“So you vote grub then?”, Dave asked.
“Wait I never said that”.
“You pretty much did. You just praised grubs”.
“No fucking way, I want a human baby”.
“Well then we’ll atleast adopt”, John said, smiling. “You said you wanted a baby”.
Karkat shrugged.
“Well fine, we can adopt a baby, but candy red grubs have class, true class”.
“So you vote grub then too?”, John asked.
“Of course, a candy red grub is amazing, let's get one”.
“So you’re saying yes to a grub?”.
“Yeah, I guess I am”.
“But you just said yes to a baby”, Dave pointed out, but both of them saw a smile appear on John’s face.
“Yes, I'm gonna call the adoption agency and ask to adopt a grub AND a baby”, John said, before putting his smartphone up and dissapearing, and that was when Karkat realized what he had said.
“What have I done?”.
~ Months later into the future, but not many ~
Karkat sat down on his couch with the his blonde baby girl, feeding her some milk from the bottle. He must say, she was extremely cute, and Karkat felt parental instincts for her.
As she finished her milk, Karkat just held her in his arms, smiling as she saw her get tired.
And suddenly, Karkat heard the door to his house open and close.
“Karkat, we’re back from the grub park with Canonn and got groceries on our way home”, Dave began, before he put the candy red grub down on the floor, and he immediately started to crawl around. “How's Elly?”.
“Pretty good, she has been a nice and calm baby, unlike that little fucknut over there who only crawls around and chews on the furniture”, he said, talking about Canonn who was crawling up the couch, sitting down next to Karkat and staring at him with those big red eyes.
“Man you’re so fucking cute. For being a grub I tolerate you”, he said, and then John and Dave sat down in the couch on either side of home, both giving him tiny pecks on his gray cheeks.
“I love you dorks”, he said, smiling as he was close to his boyfriends and their children.