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Thanks to David, Lucien’s idea of a normal relationship hinders his ability to come to terms with his feelings for Allen, as well as how to deal with them. The repercussions from his past make him out to be unintentionally heartless and hard to love.
Thanks to Allen, his hostility is softened. His small bursts of momentary happiness are genuine, and he doesn’t feel like his creation was a mistake on the world. Bad things are forgotten.
Lucien wants nothing more than to move on and pursue his friend, but some things are too big a burden to bear