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“Please…”
“What is it you’re asking of me, demon…?”
“Kill me...please, just kill me!”
Silence settled within the church, the priest staring with wide eyes at the demon that had so suddenly invaded such a holy place. The priest had been fully prepared to face the satanic being, to send him back from whence he came, but this utter desperation in the demon’s voice gave him pause. A trick, he thought to himself, simply a method to throw him off guard! But he couldn’t listen to that side of himself. Not when the demon stared at him with tears falling down his dirty face. He wore a blue suit, with gray slacks, but they were stained green with grass stains. How strange.
“...I do not know what ails you, demon. But I’m afraid I can’t grant your request in good conscience. But if you think it might help you, I will listen to your heart's woes. Please, come sit.” The priest motioned towards the pew closest to the front of the church. The demon stared at him with a look of surprise and incredulity, before it changed to something similar to anger.
“You’re inviting me to talk ?! I’m a demon! You’re a priest! Priests exorcise demons! What is wrong with you, you stupid priest?!” The demon spat, more tears spilling from his eyes. His teeth were clenched, and the priest could make out pointed fangs that could probably tear through his jugular in a heartbeat. But still, he didn’t feel threatened by the demon. If anything, the pain seemed more clear.
“Please, call me Karamatsu!” The priest offered, giving the demon a gentle smile. The demon seemed even more perplexed by the name being given so suddenly, his anger seeming to deflate just like that. “You’re correct, one of a priest’s jobs is to exorcise demons that threaten the wellbeing of innocent lives. But, forgive me for saying so, you don’t seem dangerous at all. I’ve seen my fair share of demons stained in blood and sins, and I’ve sent them back to Hell, where they belong. But never have I seen a demon with nothing more than innocent grass stains.”
Karamatsu hid his laugh behind a hand as the demon gaped at him, before staring down at his filthy clothes. A slow blush spread along the demon’s face, before he looked away with a scowl, scratching the back of his head. His tears seemed forgotten for the moment, though they still welled up at the corner of his eyes. “Geez...you’re really weird. I come here, offering myself up on a silver platter, and you don’t even try to kill me? Boooring!” The demon’s lips pursed a little in a pouty expression, a hand raising to poke at one of the black and red-striped horns sticking out through his hair.
“Boring? So did you come here simply to amuse yourself? It didn’t seem that way a moment ago.” Karamatsu pressed. “I thought for sure you were actually looking for death. Tell me demon, is that not what you really wanted?”
“...Osomatsu.”
“Oh?”
“My name is Osomatsu. Since you gave me your name and all. So stop calling me ‘demon’!” The little, black wings on Osomatsu’s back gave a few little twitches, lifting him off the ground. He flew with surprising speed towards Karamatsu, the priest gripping his bible just a little tighter at the sudden movement. To his surprise, though, the demon made a quick turn away from him, sitting in the previously offered seat. He leaned back lazily, hands settling in his pockets.
“I see. Osomatsu it is, then.” Karamatsu relaxed once more, walking over to sit beside Osomatsu. It seemed to perplex the demon even more, so Karamatsu at least made sure to keep some distance between them. “You have something you wish to speak of, yes? Or you wouldn’t still be here. So please, tell me what’s hurting you so much that you would actually crave death?”
“You’re so damn nosy! Stupid priest.” Osomatsu let out an exaggerated sigh, leaning his head back to stare up at the ceiling. It was covered in biblical stories, painted out for everyone to see. Impressive, Osomatsu could admit. But it hardly helped his mood, seeing depictions of angels killing demons, such as himself. If anything, it just made it worse. “Do things really have to be that way…?”
“Hm?” Karamatsu followed Osomatsu’s line of sight. “Oh, that. It’s a rather gruesome scene, isn’t it?” The priest looked at his bible, a thin smile on his face. “Long ago, demons invaded our world. The Goddess believed that his people were strong enough to resist the temptations and sins that they brought with them, but alas, we humans are weak. And so, the Goddess was forced to take action. He sent an army of angels to cleanse the world and rid it of the demons, and a great battle was fought for our sake. However, even he couldn’t wash away our sins. Even though we are not the perfect creation he thought we were, he forgave us and he continues to love us.”
“Right, ‘us’. Meaning you humans.” Osomatsu muttered, looking away from the murals. Instead, he turned his attention to the statue that sat at the front of the church, staring down at them from its altar. Someone’s depiction of the Goddess, draped in white robes with his arms opened, as if welcoming them. His eyes were closed, though, and Osomatsu couldn’t keep a sigh in.
“I’ve never met the Goddess, of course. But I like to think he has enough love in his heart for every creature. Even demons, if they’d be willing to accept it.” Karamatsu hummed thoughtfully, looking at the demon with curiosity. “Could it be that you wish for peace between your kind and the Goddess?”
“Haaah?! Peace between…? Look priest, I mean, Karamatsu.” Osomatsu leaned forward, tail flicking this way and that with some unknown emotion. “I don’t care how much faith you have in your Goddess, even you have to know that peace between demons and the Goddess is impossible. Even if one side chose to try, the other wouldn’t allow it. That is, I have no doubt the Goddess would try. But demons would be right there to fuck it up.”
Karamatsu couldn’t disagree. Those who came from Hell were born only to cause chaos. But this one...Osomatsu didn’t seem like that at all. How strange. “Forgive me for asking, Osomatsu, but why is it that you’re not acting as any other demon would. You’re causing no harm, from what I see. Why?”
“Uhh, I dunno? That kind of stuff never interested me. I like to pull pranks every now and then though. Does that count as harmful?” Osomatsu grinned sheepishly, rubbing under his nose with a finger. “Truth be told, I’m kind of an outcast. I’m not what other demons think I should be, so they tend to give me the cold shoulder. So mean!”
Karamatsu seemed somewhat astonished by the information. If it were the truth, Osomatsu was the most innocent demon he had ever seen, something he thought was impossible. “You’ve never killed? Made any deals to gather innocent souls? Raped?” All common occurrences when it came to demons around here. But Osomatsu quickly shook his head in denial. “But you...you had to do something in life that turned you this way in death. No one becomes a demon without a reason.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“I see. I won’t ask then.” Karamatsu kept his tone gentle, fixing his black robes so that he could sit more comfortably. “Well, Osomatsu. I have yet to understand what exactly it is that ails you. But allow me to offer some advice. Those murals you were looking at earlier depict events that have already happened. The past. We know not what the future holds! It only takes one thing, one individual, to change the course of everything we know!” Karamatsu chuckled, closing his eyes and humming thoughtfully. “There is no set path for us to take. We make our own future! Understand?”
Osomatsu tilted his head a little. “Hah? You think I could change anything? How many times do I have to say it? You’re really stupid!” Osomatsu groaned, shaking his head in disbelief. Karamatsu hardly seemed offended, looking more amused than anything. “You know, this isn’t really helping. You suck at your job.”
“Well, it's difficult to help when I don’t know the exact problem.” Karamatsu responded simply, reluctantly reaching over grip Osomatsu’s shoulder. The other man’s wings twitched a little at the sudden contact, and Osomatsu looked at him with surprise written on his face. “I know it's difficult to put one’s feelings forward. But if you can, then perhaps I could offer you some solid advice. I really would like to help you if I could.”
Osomatsu swallowed hard, looking away from Karamatsu quickly. If it were that easy to say what was on his mind, maybe he wouldn’t have come here in the first place. It suddenly seemed to weigh on him more than ever now, crushing him. Suffocating him. “Ah, you’re really persistent, huh?” He asked nervously, eyes drifting back up to the murals, and then back over to the statue of the Goddess. Osomatsu’s gaze softened, before turning sad. “If I tell you, will you promise me something?”
“What is it that you want me to promise?”
“I just want...you’re probably not gonna like what you hear. And, if that’s the case, I want you to just kill me. Do what you’re supposed to do to protect your Goddess and all that. Okay?” Osomatsu grinned at Karamatsu, though it seemed forced and a little shaky. Karamatsu let out a heavy sigh, holding his bible close to his chest.
“Very well, then. I promise, Osomatsu.” The priest agreed, giving a short nod. Osomatsu nodded a little, leaning forward and staring at the floor.
“I...I’ve met your Goddess. I’ve talked to him, I’ve even goofed around with him a bit. But over the last few months, I…” Osomatsu let his clawed hands dig into his hair, clenching the strands tightly. “For the first time in so long, I felt accepted. And I...a-and I…I think I fell in love with him. I want him so much!” The demon jerked his hands away from his hair, staring at his hands with distraught eyes. “I want to be able to touch him. But I can’t, because I’m a demon and he’s the fucking Goddess!”
Karamatsu’s eyes widened a little. This was quite the revelation, but the pieces clicked into place. Osomatsu was an outcast as a demon and he found a feeling of belonging with the Goddess himself. Not only that, but he had fallen in love. Suffering with the weight of a love that was probably impossible, the demon had found his way to Karamatsu’s church, in hopes that the priest would put an end to his heartache. Now the priest understood.
Tears were once again streaming down the demon’s face, teeth clenched in frustration as he tried to hold them back. Karamatsu frowned a little, moving to kneel in front of him. He didn’t miss the way Osomatsu flinched, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he reached up to wipe the demon’s tears away carefully. “I understand now. But Osomatsu, you can’t help how your heart feels. And love is nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of who its for. It's a beautiful thing.”
“It can’t happen. He’s amazing, he’s gorgeous, and he’s so...good. I don’t even mind when he yells at me for teasing him too much.” Osomatsu let out a humorless laugh, smiling despite the pain in his chest. “And I’m a demon. I’m lucky that he even decided to humor me in the first place. Its nice though, not feeling so alone anymore.”
“So you think death is the answer? How do you think the Goddess will feel if you suddenly stop visiting him? If he has chosen to see you on a regular basis, then there must be a reason. The Goddess has an entire world to watch over! I imagine he must be very busy.” Karamatsu wiped away the last tear from Osomatsu’s face, smiling up at him a little. “Perhaps he sees something in you, just like I do.”
Osomatsu stared at Karamatsu for a moment, before looking away with a short laugh. “Idiot. Shouldn’t you be more concerned for your Goddess? If a demon wants to pursue him, isn’t that dangerous?”
“Osomatsu, the only thing about you that seems dangerous is your uncertainty. Have you even tried telling him?” Karamatsu asked. Osomatsu looked absolutely aghast. “No? I didn’t think so.”
“If I told him, I’d lose the only person who’s accepted me in years. My only friend…” Osomatsu gripped his pant legs, grinding his teeth a little. “You don’t understand...how lonely I’ve been…!”
“Perhaps I don’t understand. But I can assure you, if things don’t turn out well, you will not be alone.” Karamatsu cupped Osomatsu’s cheek, rubbing a thumb against the skin gently. “You will always be welcome here. So long as you always behave, of course.”
“You only just met me.” Osomatsu chuckled, shaking his head a little. But he refrained from name calling, this time. “You really want me to tell him, don’t you? Offering to be friends with a demon...shouldn’t that be a sin or something? What kind of priest are you, huh?”
“One that is accepting of all kinds!” Karamatsu declared with pride, standing straight once more with a proud smirk. “There’s no use in rejecting anyone, based on what they are! Actions speak louder than anything else! I could see you were good, the moment you stepped into this church without attacking me. And I’m sure that the Goddess has seen it too. That’s why I think it's time for you to go. Go, and speak to the Goddess!”
Osomatsu swallowed hard, a fang biting down on his lip and drawing blood. Saying it was one thing, doing it was another. But something pushed him forward. Taking a deep breath, Osomatsu stood, his tail coiling around his leg nervously. “You’re right. I know, I should tell him. I should talk to him. He...he wouldn’t hate me. Right? Right…?” He didn’t wait for an answer, before flying from the church, his wings carrying him to the one place he really wanted to be.
“Good luck, Osomatsu.” Karamatsu mumbled softly, gripping his bible to his chest once more. He was alone once more, or so, he thought. A large, white feather fluttered down in front of him slowly, landing on the wooden floor in front of him with grace. Surprised, the Priest bent to grab it, examining it closely. “Where did this come from?” He tilted his head back to examine the beams that ran along the ceiling of the church, just in time to see a flash of pale pink light. If he listened carefully, Karamatsu swore he could hear a giggle echo through the empty church. With a sense of wonder, he allowed himself to smile fondly. “It seems you have someone watching over you, Osomatsu. I think you’ll be just fine.”
Osomatsu stared up at the sky through the canopy of trees, arms crossed behind his head as he walked. Sure, he could fly and sure, he could’ve been there by now, but he wasn’t really in any hurry. Actually, he was still contemplating why he had ever agreed to this in the first place. That priest really had a way of making him feel at ease, he supposed. But now that he was away from him, he was regretting his decision. There was no way the Goddess was just going to accept this. Accept him .
“This is stupid. I’m stupid. Why am I even here?” Osomatsu sighed heavily, dropping his arms to his sides. He remembered the first few times he had been through the forest. It had been so alive and so actively trying to stop him from going in too deep. The demon had been caught in thorny vines and whipped with tree branches. By the time he had gotten near the center, he was exhausted and miserable. Anyone with common sense would’ve turned around and never returned, but Osomatsu was anything but smart.
The only thing that had kept him going was a desperation to be away from the others of his kind. They were trying to tell him what to do, trying to turn him into one of them. But that’s the last thing he wanted. To lose his humanity was the single worst thing that could happen to him at this point. And so he clung to it desperately. That’s why he found this forest and why he fought so hard to get through it. Once he reached the lake near the center, he had curled up in the grass and slept in the sun.
Only to be woken up by an unhappy Goddess. He had been scolded, threatened, and told to leave, but he refused. At that time, he had no idea that it was the Goddess he was talking to. Had he known right away, he probably would’ve fled the forest, for fear of his life. But it wasn’t until a few days later, after sticking around just to tease the stranger, that the truth was finally revealed to him. And he was shocked, but not afraid, because if the Goddess had really wanted to get rid of him, he would’ve done so.
They had become close, the lake becoming like a second home to Osomatsu. Everyday, the demon made the trek through the forest, just to see the Goddess. The forest no longer protested. It sat silently, watching as the two chatted about anything and everything. And Osomatsu loved every second of it. Every second he got to listen, every second he got to watch and admire that beautiful Goddess…
Oh yeah, he had fallen way too hard.
A flash of purple light startled Osomatsu from his thoughts, and he stopped to look around, examining the trees overhead. There was nothing there. Frowning a little, he turned his attention back to the path ahead of him. Already in view was the clearing that he was so familiar with. He could already hear the water, lapping against the land gently. Choromatsu was probably already there.
Taking a slow breath, Osomatsu moved forward into the clearing, sighing as the warmth of the sun hit his skin. A gentle breeze ruffled his hair, almost beckoning him further into the clearing. And maybe it really was. Because right there, sitting at the edge of the lake with his legs dipped into the cool water, was the Goddess himself. His attention seemed to be on the sky overhead, watching the white clouds drifting by leisurely.
The sight made Osomatsu smile a little, even as his heart ached. The reality of his situation came crashing down on him once more. He was a demon, a satanic being, that was in love with the Goddess himself. A holy being. A beautiful, amazing holy being that Osomatsu couldn’t be more in love with. And this was potentially the last time he’d ever see him, depending on the reaction he got after admitting his feelings. Somehow, he couldn’t see it ending well in any scenario.
“Welcome back, Osomatsu.”
Ahh, that smile! Osomatsu could feel his cheeks heating up and he couldn’t hold back a grin, rubbing under his nose sheepishly as the Goddess turned his attention onto the devil. “I ran off kind of suddenly, didn’t I? Sorry about that.” He apologized, walking over and sitting in the grass nearby, a safe distance from the lake. Holy water and demons didn’t mix, and he already had a nasty burn on his hand from getting too curious one day. “Did you miss me Choromatsu?” Osomatsu asked teasingly.
“If it helps you sleep at night, then sure.” Choromatsu snorted softly, but his smile was still there. He pulled his legs from the lake, turning to fully face the demon. Osomatsu leaned back on his hands, his tail twitching contently. “So, where did you go all of a sudden? It's not like you to run off so suddenly.”
“Were you worried?” Choromatsu’s smile fell into a scowl, his green eyes narrowing a little. They met Osomatsu’s red ones, as if challenging him to continue his teasing. And Osomatsu would. He always would, for as long as he was able. Laughing a little, he rubbed the back of his head and looked away from the Goddess. “I had something to take care of. Demon stuff, you know?”
“Demon stuff.” Choromatsu repeated, looking unimpressed. “You don’t do ‘demon stuff’, Osomatsu. Don’t try to lie to me.” Choromatsu’s voice was scolding, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Osomatsu refused to meet his gaze. “Did you do something wrong, Osomatsu?”
Osomatsu kept silent, his grin falling to an uneasy frown. He didn’t really, did he? Begging for death, as a demon, wasn’t really a bad thing. If anything, it was just one less thing for angels and the Goddess to worry about. How would Choromatsu have felt if Karamatsu had granted the demon’s request?
“You did something wrong.” It was no longer a question, just a straightforward fact. Osomatsu’s tail coiled nervously, his wings fluttering a little as a shiver ran down his spine. Choromatsu was going to question him, until he had no choice but to reveal the truth. Reveal that he was in love with the Goddess. Reveal that he was a disgusting sinner that deserved to be put down after all.
“You almost did something wrong. You’re lucky that priest rejected your request.”
Osomatsu felt his blood freeze, his wide-eyed gaze slowly turning to look at Choromatsu. The Goddess was expressionless, eyes half-lidded as he stared hard at Osomatsu. It was as if those eyes were piercing into the demon’s soul. If only he still had one. Slowly, Osomatsu managed to compose himself, his own eyes narrowing with unconcealed anger. His fangs bared and claws digging into his palm, Osomatsu snapped at him. “You were spying on me?! What, you don’t trust me?!”
Choromatsu didn’t seem fazed by the outburst, his blank expression unchanging. His green eye held Osomatsu’s fiery gaze. “Spying is a strong word. This is my world. I hear everything, I see everything. And when I heard a priest, that has devoted his life to me, praying for a demon, I was concerned.” Choromatsu pushed himself off the grass, towering over Osomatsu now. The demon didn’t miss the slight, ethereal glow that gathered around the Goddess. How intimidating. “You tried to coerce the priest into killing you. You wanted to die. That’s suicide!”
Osomatsu felt a tingle rush through his body, and he scrambled away as the white light around the Goddess became brighter. It made the demon gasp and pant, a slow burn making his skin itch. Ah, shit! Shit, shit, shit…! Was Choromatsu trying to exorcise him? Fuck! “L-Look…! You don’t understand, Choromatsu! I...I--Fuck!” Osomatsu let his wings carry him to a safer distance, putting the entirety of the lake between them and hovering in place as he stared back at the Goddess. His skin was actually blistering, he had almost been eradicated! Osomatsu felt his heart drop. “You just tried to fucking kill me...you don’t understand a damn thing, and you tried to kill me!”
Choromatsu’s eyes widened a fraction, and he quickly reeled his powers back in, the glow dying out in an instant. An accident...maybe it was just an accident, Osomatsu thought warily. “I’m sorry.” Choromatsu took a slow breath, staring at his own hands. “It's you that doesn’t understand, Osomatsu. I understand you, more than you realize. But you can’t possibly understand me.”
“You don’t know anything…!”
“In life, your name was Osomatsu Matsuno. You were born on May 24th, the oldest brother of quadruplets. Your mother passed away when you were twelve and your father followed when you were 17. For the first year, after your father’s death, you did your best for your little brothers. But when you reached adulthood, you started drinking and gambling.” Choromatsu spoke in a monotone voice, like it was a boring speech that he had recited many times before. And for him, maybe it was nothing, maybe it was boring. But for Osomatsu, it tore him apart. It tore him apart for so many reasons!
“Okay, you know some things about me.” Osomatsu gave a thin smile, trying to make his voice light. Joking. Because he needed things to be normal between him and Choromatsu now. He needed it to go back to normal, right now. “You made your point. I guess I don’t know much about you, compared to what you know about me, huh?”
“You stopped taking care of your brothers, left them to do their own thing. You didn’t work, you just lazed around. You stole money, to feed your habits. They tried to stop you, confronted you a few times. They told you that you were going to get into trouble, but you didn’t listen. You didn’t stop.”
“Okay, Choromatsu, I get it.”
“And then, one night, you got home a little late.”
“Choromatsu, stop.”
“They stayed upstairs, waiting for you by the bathroom, so that they could nurse you and your drunkenness when you returned. But they couldn’t stay awake.”
“D-Don’t you fucking dare…! Why are you bringing this up?!”
“They didn’t notice the fire, until it was too late.”
“S-Shut up!”
“They were trapped. They clung to each other, not able to go anywhere. They burned alive.”
“JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!!”
Choromatsu finally stopped himself, narrowly deflecting the strong burst of fire that nearly took his head off. A normal demon was hardly a match for the Goddess, but he had to admit, the power behind Osomatsu’s magic was impressive. Choromatsu stared across the lake, to where Osomatsu hovered, his form slouched and arms hanging loosely at his sides. Tears streamed down his face, teeth grinding together hard enough that it had to hurt. Maybe he had gone a little too far. It wasn’t Choromatsu’s intention, he just…
“Why are you doing this…?” Osomatsu asked slowly, lifting his gaze to glare at Choromatsu heatedly. His usually bright, red eyes were a shade darker than usual, like bloody puddles. “Why are you doing this?! Bringing all of that up all of a sudden...what’s your problem!?”
“My intention wasn’t to hurt you, Osomatsu.” Choromatsu’s eyes softened a little, his voice becoming just a little lighter. “I’m just trying to make a point.”
“A point? By talking about my little brothers…! Fuck you!” Osomatsu snapped, aiming another ball of fire at the other. It was weaker though, and fizzled out before it reached the Goddess. “I got home, before the fire took over the house. They were trapped in the bathroom, and there was this stupid, tiny window in there.” Osomatsu’s voice was low now, almost a quiet whisper. He stared down at the lake’s surface, his reflection rippling in it’s gentle waves. “They called out to me from there. Screamed for help, begged for me to do something. I-I tried...I tried to get inside, but the fire was already too bad…!”
“Osomatsu…”
“I could hear their screams, while they burned, Choromatsu! I heard everything! They fucking died, while I stood there!” Osomatsu sobbed. Choromatsu let out a slow breath, wanting nothing more than to apologize to the demon and make things right. But there was a point to this. “I-I did my best...I know I was a terrible brother, but I tried...I swear, I t-tried…”
“I...I know you did.” Choromatsu admitted, his previous anger forgotten. Of course he knew what Osomatsu went through, he had seen everything. Osomatsu loved his brothers, that much was obvious and their death had devastated him. “You even made a deal with a demon, to get them back.”
Osomatsu took a shaky breath, staring at his hands now. “...Yeah. I did.” Osomatsu admitted, slowly curling his fingers into fists. His claws dug into the flesh of his palms, blood welling up. “That guy turned me into a demon, like him. He promised to bring my brothers back, in exchange. But he didn’t. And because of him, I’ll never see them again.” The demon closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down.
Hands gently cupped his face, and Osomatsu opened his eyes to stare at the Goddess that was suddenly in front of him. Choromatsu’s eyes held his gaze, as he gently brushed the tears away. “You were never used to being alone. I imagine that growing up in a household with three brothers made it difficult to get any time to yourself. So having them ripped away all of a sudden had to be hard on you. You were desperate.”
Osomatsu felt more tears well up in his eyes, but his gaze didn’t leave Choromatsu’s. “I-I...I just wanted them to be okay. I wanted to see them again, and to t-tell them how sorry I was. I wanted to be a normal family again. Being alone is the worst. I can’t stand it…!”
“And how do you think I would’ve felt if you had succeeded in getting yourself killed?” Choromatsu asked slowly. Earlier, he had let his anger get the better of him. At first, he was going to keep silent. He wasn’t going to admit to anything. But he couldn’t help it. It hurt him, that he had almost lost the only real friend he had ever had. “You understand now, don’t you? I didn’t mean to hurt you. But you scared me.”
Osomatsu’s eyes widened a fraction, realization dawning on him. It was always difficult to remember that he was in the presence of someone who handled an entire world on his own. He always figured he had some angels that stuck around or something, but from the time he had met him at the lake here, never once had Choromatsu been with anyone else. Maybe the Goddess was lonely after all, just like him. Maybe that’s why they clicked so easily. Why they decided to just enjoy one another’s company.
“I’m sorry.” Osomatsu croaked out, leaning into the hands that still held his face. He couldn’t take his attention away from the Goddess in front of him, and he really didn’t want to. Not when Choromatsu slowly smiled at him again. “I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought...that is, I...ah…”
“I know, Osomatsu.”
“D-Do you…?” Osomatsu looked away nervously, pulling away slowly, his wings giving a little, nervous flutter. “You said you saw what happened. But does that mean you heard everything...?”
Choromatsu blinked, before letting out a little laugh, a slight dusting of pink rising in his cheeks. “That you loved me? Yeah, I heard.” Choromatsu laughed, smiling brightly at the demon before him. Slowly though, the smile faded again, and the Goddess looked at Osomatsu with an expression that the demon couldn’t quite place. “We’ll talk about that later, though. For now, Osomatsu, I need you to do something for me. Something important.”
Osomatsu seemed a little perplexed, his previous tears already drying on his cheeks. “What is it?” He asked slowly. A sudden sense of unease filled his chest, his tail and wings going stiff with apprehension, but he didn’t try to move away. This was Choromatsu. The Goddess wouldn’t do anything to him. Well, not on purpose, the lingering burn on his flesh reminded him.
Choromatsu’s gaze was soft, but there was something in his eyes that seemed out of place. Osomatsu just couldn’t place it. The Goddess lifted his hand again to stroke the demon’s cheek, before leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to Osomatsu’s forehead.
“Stay strong.”
There was no time to react, as Choromatsu’s hands suddenly shoved at his chest, knocking him backwards. Osomatsu’s eyes widened in horror, his hands reaching out towards the Goddess. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, yet there wasn’t enough time to catch himself. And Choromatsu...he just stared. He watched him, mouthing something, before a sad smile twitched at the corner of his lips.
Osomatsu crashed into the lake.
The demon let out a blood curdling scream, water filling his lungs, but that was the least of his problems. Every inch of skin, every pore screamed in agony as the holy water burned his entire being from the inside out. Osomatsu couldn’t see, but he was sure his skin was probably bubbling, practically melting off the bone.
...W-Why…? I-I thought...you d-didn’t want me to...t-to go…
He thrashed about, trying to find some means of escape. Some way to end the suffering. There was no way to tell up from down in his condition, no way to swim back to the surface. Osomatsu only sank further, screaming. Crying. Agonizing.
T-This...is it...y-your...your r-rejection…? Because I...I-I loved y-y-you….?
Shit, he couldn’t even move anymore. It hurt so much…! It hurt so much, he could barely feel anymore, and yet he could still feel everything. What was the point in trying to resist it? Maybe...maybe this was for the best.
I’m...I-I’m sorry...Choromatsu...please...p-please…
The demon’s body went limp, letting the water drag him down. The lake swallowed him, his descent slow and strangely peaceful. Ever so slowly, Osomatsu went numb. This was it then. This was where he truly died. There would be no second afterlife, no seeing his little brothers that he missed so desperately, and no more Choromatsu. He was doomed to be alone now.
Please...f-forgive me...Choromatsu.
From somewhere, there was a faint flash of yellow. A slow warmth spread over him, and for a moment, Osomatsu feared that the burn from the holy water was slowly creeping back up on him. But instead, the warmth covered him like a blanket. Comforting. Gentle. He welcomed the sensation with open arms.
I still love you…
And finally, the demon’s mind went blank.
“Is he gonna wake up? Will he be okay?”
“He’ll be fine, just be patient. Let him rest.”
“...It sounded like it hurt a lot. Looked like it too.”
“Being purified isn’t a gentle process. It's not something that can be done to just anyone, and very few are strong enough to endure it.”
“He’s too stubborn to die. He’s always been like this.”
“I’m glad...I only hope he can forgive me for hurting him.”
The voices were gentle and quiet, not to mention so very familiar. They made him feel at ease, a comfortable warmth settling in his chest. He felt content for the first time in forever. When was the last time he got to feel like this? A memory of sharing a futon with his three little brothers came to mind. On colder nights, when they would huddle close to him in their sleep, snoring peacefully. He would watch them, listen to their breathing, and just enjoy the peace it brought him.
“He’s smiling! I hope he’s having a happy dream!” A hand gently pet his hair, and he leaned into it slowly. “Oh! Are you awake? Osomatsu-niisan?”
Osomatsu-niisan ...when was the last time he heard that? His heart thudded in his chest, a little more awareness creeping into his tired mind. Was this a trick? Something his mind was conjuring up after all of the agony he had gone through earlier? He didn’t dare try to open his eyes.
“You’re definitely awake. Why don’t you open your eyes already?” No. Don’t use their voices. Don’t add insult to injury. Hadn’t he suffered enough? Even as a demon, he had never been so cruel.
“Get up already, you lazy oldest brother! Honestly, you never change!” This wasn’t fair. It hurt too much and he just knew as soon as he opened his eyes, it would all disappear. There would be nothing there.
“Osomatsu. Please open your eyes.”
Choromatsu …
Osomatsu couldn’t disobey that voice. Not when it sounded so worried and gentle and coaxing and...taking a shaky breath, Osomatsu slowly let his eyes slide open. The first thing that greeted him was the sun, and he quickly snapped his eyes shut again. Ow, okay...try again then. Tilting his head downward, he blinked his eyes open again.
A big, open mouthed smile greeted him, bright eyes staring at him eagerly. The face looked just like his own, with subtle differences. Osomatsu had no time to contemplate further, though, because the other lunged at him and hugged him around the neck. “Osomatsu-niisan! It's really Osomatsu-niisan...!”
“J...Jyushimatsu…?” Osomatsu asked slowly. His eyes were wide, full of disbelief. Could this be real? But...no. He was a demon, doomed to never see his brothers again. Right? Still, even if this was some hallucination, he didn’t want it to go away. He lifted his arms and wrapped the around his little brother’s middle, holding him tightly. Jyushimatsu was warm. He felt real. Osomatsu could feel his eyes burn with tears, his fingers digging into the soft, silky material of his little brother’s yellow tunic.
More arms wrapped around him, and Osomatsu couldn’t see them clearly through his tears, but he knew who they were. His little brothers, his precious brothers, they were there. They were holding him, mumbling reassurances and welcoming him. There was so much he wanted to say, things that he swore many times he’d say, if just given a chance to see them again. But words failed him. He could only cry, wailing loudly and sobbing hysterically. There was the feeling of dampness on his skin, and though he couldn’t hear them through his own cries, he knew they were crying too.
“I-I-I m-missed you…!” Osomatsu choked out, finally, hoping that they somehow understood everything be wanted to say. “I m-missed you so f-fucking much...I-I’m…”
“We know, Osomatsu-niisan.” The voice on his right whispered quietly, and a hand rubbed his back gently. “You don’t have to say anything. We know. Now, stop crying you big baby.” Osomatsu let out a half laugh that sounded more like a hiccup. He wanted to retort, tell Todomatsu that he was the baby here, but he just couldn’t get the words out. That was okay though.
“You’re crying too, Totty.” The voice on his left mumbled lowly, somehow managing to sound monotone and emotional, all at once. The same Ichimatsu that Osomatsu remembered. He could hear Todomatsu let out a little ‘hmph!’ of annoyance.
Slowly, Jyushimatsu released him, pulling back a little and beaming, despite the tears that made his face red and damp. “Welcome back, Osomatsu-niisan!”
The others released him too, and Osomatsu took the chance to examine them. They looked just like he remembered them, in terms of physical appearance. Ichimatsu’s hair was still a mess, Jyushimatsu’s lazy eye still made one of his eyes droop lower than the other, and Todomatsu still had that cat-like smile that he always wore, in an attempt to look cute. But there were differences.
Most notably, the large, white, feathery wings that each of them had folded neatly against their backs.
Angels, Osomatsu thought to himself, staring in awe. He reached towards Ichimatsu’s with a trembling hand, gently stroking the soft feathers. He noted, with some amusement, that Ichimatsu’s feathers were slightly more ruffled than the others. Ichimatsu watched him, his wings twitching a little at the light touch.
They wore different colored tunics too, with different colored sashes tied around their middles. The color of their tunics were familiar to Osomatsu, it was the colors they wore in life to differentiate themselves from each other. The sashes went well with the tunics, at least. Purple and silver, yellow and black, pink and white...his brothers looked good, healthy, and happy.
He was glad.
A few shaky breaths did Osomatsu good, calming him enough to form sentences again. “I-I thought I’d never s-see you guys again.” He stammered, but a grin was lighting up his face. His three, little brothers shared a look, before returning his smile. “I’m glad you’re all h-here...please, just...p-please don’t leave Onii-chan ever again.”
“We weren’t given much of a choice.” Ichimatsu pointed out, looking away and rubbing the back of his head. “Not like we wanted to leave you. We even searched for you, after we moved on. But you were gone.”
“We knew you’d be hopeless without us!” Todomatsu huffed, his voice slightly scolding. “But honestly, accepting a deal with a demon? I didn’t think you were that stupid! We were really worried about you, you stupid eldest brother!”
“But its fine, its fine!” Jyushimatsu laughed, quickly quieting Todomatsu’s complaints. “Osomatsu-niisan is here now! And you can stay with us forever! Right, Choromatsu? He can stay now?”
Osomatsu didn’t even notice the Goddess or his surroundings, too caught up in seeing his brothers again. But there Choromatsu was, back at the lake with his hand gently stirring at the surface. He seemed distracted, but turned his gaze to them, at the sound of his name. “Of course he can. All of the darkness and corruption that made him a demon has been cleansed. Osomatsu’s one of us now.”
One of them? For the first time since waking up, Osomatsu turned his attention to himself. The suit he was wearing before was gone, replaced with a red tunic and gold sash, just like the ones his brothers wore. His hands slowly reached up to his head, rubbing at the spots where his horns once were. His horns, his claws, his tail...they were gone. Turning his head to peer over his shoulder, he finally noticed that his black, leathery wings were replaced with soft, white, feathery ones.
He was an angel…
He was an angel!
In shock and awe, he could only stare at Choromatsu, mouth opening and closing as he tried to come up with something to say. “I imagine you two have some things to talk about.” Todomatsu interrupted his thoughts, and Osomatsu closed his mouth with a slight nod. “Call for us when you’re done~!” With a knowing smile and little wave, Todomatsu disappeared in a pink flash.
“Yeah, yeah! We’ll show you everything, Osomatsu-niisan!” Jyushimatsu promised excitedly, before he too vanished in a flash of yellow. Ichimatsu looked between the empty spots, where the two youngest had been, before he turned his attention back to Osomatsu.
“I’m glad you’re here. Being the oldest is too much pressure.” Ichimatsu muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m not good at it. It definitely suits you better anyway.” Osomatsu grinned a little, rubbing under his nose sheepishly. He was sure Ichimatsu did just fine. “Anyway, I guess we’ll be back.” With a purple flash, Ichimatsu was gone, and Osomatsu was left alone with the Goddess.
There was an awkward silence between them, Choromatsu tending to the lake, while Osomatsu just leaned back against the tree he was apparently sat against. The same tree he usually napped under, he noted. Letting out a soft sigh, he turned his attention to the clouds that drifted overhead, contemplating what he should do. What he should say. Should he be angry? How could he be? Osomatsu hated being a demon, hated the idea of losing his humanity. Choromatsu had saved him from that side of himself. But the pain...feeling as if he were being burned alive and drowning all at once, it was absolute torture.
“I’m sorry…”
Osomatsu snapped his attention to Choromatsu, frowning deeply as the Goddess finally moved away from the lake to move closer to him. Without really meaning to, Osomatsu found himself pushing back against the tree, as if wanting to back away from the approaching Goddess and the movement didn’t seem lost on Choromatsu. He stopped, before he got any closer to the distressed angel.
“I’m sorry.” Choromatsu repeated, those green eyes shining with guilt and hurt. “I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell you what I was going to do, but I couldn’t. For you to be purified, you had to rely on your own strength of heart, not on my words. Not to mention, it was the only way I could reunite you with your brothers.”
“I...It felt like I was burning. Like my skin was melting away. It was excruciating.” Osomatsu’s voice was low, his hands rubbing at his arms as his skin crawled at the memory. “I thought you were punishing me, for how I felt. For being a disgusting demon that fell for you. I thought you wanted me dead.”
“That wasn’t my intention at all, Osomatsu. You’ve been suffering all alone for years, and you weren’t ever meant to. You were meant to die that night, along with your brothers. You all should’ve stayed together. But instead, a demon interfered. They kept you distracted, made you late going home that night. All so that they could make that deal with you.” Choromatsu explained softly. “I had to make things right.”
“I...understand.” Osomatsu let out a little sigh, before pushing himself to his feet. His wings stretched open for the first time, a few feathers shaking loose and drifting to the ground. “I’m not mad. I was just really scared, you know? I didn’t know what to think of it and did I mention it hurt ?” Huffing a little, Osomatsu took a few steps closer to Choromatsu.
“I was scared too.” Choromatsu admitted, his voice soft and almost timid. “There was always the chance that you wouldn’t make it through the purification, and would’ve been consumed by it instead. You were in there for a long time, longer than I thought you would be. I thought for sure I made a mistake, and…”
A hand gripped his, and Choromatsu stopped his rambling, staring down at their joined hands. Osomatsu slowly linked their fingers, his thumb stroking the back of the Goddess’ hand gently. “I’m fine.” Osomatsu reassured him, giving Choromatsu a toothy grin. “Better than fine, actually. All thanks to you. So don’t worry about it anymore, alright?”
Choromatsu returned the grin with a smile of his own, slowly leaning his forehead against Osomatsu’s. He didn’t miss the way the angel’s cheeks reddened, and he was sure his did the same. “No more worrying. Though, you could do with worrying a little more.” Choromatsu teased, letting his eyes slide close. Osomatsu muttered his refusal, which made the Goddess laugh a little. “Oh, by the way, Osomatsu?”
“Hm?”
“I love you too.”
Osomatsu let out a little exhale, and it was like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He loves me too , Osomatsu thought to himself, entire face reddening as he repeated the words to himself. “I’m...I’m glad.” The angel laughed, tightening his grip on Choromatsu’s hand a little. “It means I can stick around then, right? Not gonna try kicking me out of the forest anymore?”
“Oh, I’m always going to try chasing you out.” Choromatsu teased, letting one eye slide open to peek at the ex-demon. As expected, Osomatsu pouted, lips pursing just a little. “You get distracting. I have to take care of the forest.”
“Too bad. You’re not getting rid of me~!” Osomatsu teased right back, his pout turning back into a grin. “You’re stuck with me forever. I hope it was all worth it!”
I’m glad , Choromatsu thought to himself, pulling back a little and rolling his eyes. Of course it was worth it. And to think, just a few hours ago, he had almost lost Osomatsu. He would have to pay that Priest a special visit and thank him for talking Osomatsu out of his quest for death.
“Choromachuuu~!”
“That’s not my name!”
Well, maybe there were some regrets. But honestly? Neither of them could be happier.