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She hastily closed her eyes, lest a suffocating feeling overtake her. She refused to accept the fact that all was lost—that she would never again meet the most stellar pair of brown eyes she’d ever seen in her life.
Rose had always loved this image: her looking down at the Earth as if some kind of god. This time, however, all it produced was terror. Hours—days even—spent in training for any kind of situation, but this one had caught her off guard.
She caressed the soft skin on the inside of her wrist, where a tattoo of the little blue planet laid. Her finger traveled along her arm to her inner elbow, where the tattoo of the solar system spread. It had always served as a reminder of what was always her dream when she was just a kid, and this time was no different. Flashes of her childhood, Rose on the roof stargazing, wishing she were up there, almost brought her to tears.
She tersely waved her hands in front of her eyes to prevent any tears from getting out of her eyes. She blinked rapidly. In doing so, her eye spotted a photograph stuck on top of the control panel. Luisa.
She took it between her thumb and forefinger. She stroked the photograph as if the woman was there in flesh. The image of the woman, smiling, in a light pink, sleeveless shirt lit up a flare in Rose’s stomach. She wished more than anything to be reunited with her wife.
Surviving ceased to be an option; it became a necessity.
The dead crew in the seat next to hers was a reminder that death was out looking for her and would soon find her.
She tried repelling the thought; she had to occupy herself with something, anything, in hopes of making it home to Earth, to Luisa.
She attempted restarting the system. She reached for the control panel, but all the button-pressing was vain; nothing would start the spacecraft. The impact had been too cruel, knocking its systems out.
An alarm went off as Rose floated around in the craft, looking for something to fix. She had always been good with her hands. Luisa had told her that repeatedly. She smiled to herself at the thought of the woman.
‘Focus, Rose,’ she scoffed. She had to take action if she wanted to see her again. Ever. The alarm indicator read “FIRE.”
She spotted the source of the sparks which had given birth to fireballs that had shaped in an expanding fire. She instinctively reached for the fire extinguisher, and when she had stabilized herself, she sprayed against it.
A few successful attempts later, and the fire was put out. Rose let the extinguisher float around, her breath now definitely more labored. She returned to the control panel to check the oxygen levels.
To her horror, the monitor flashed warningly: “OXYGEN LEVEL: 23%.”
She hit her forehead with the inside of her palm, trying to make herself think faster, clearer.
A supply spacecraft would be days late, she thought, in a brainstorming process. Flying this spacecraft was improbable to impossible.
She slid to where a bunch of spare spacesuits laid hanged. She took the photograph out of the side of her briefs and kissed it before placing it back to the hidden pocket.
The flashing lights were of no help when it came into putting on the suit, but she did it anyway.
Dying in space would be much preferable a death, she told herself, to trick her mind into thinking that what she was doing wasn’t irrational. There was no real plan; ejecting herself into space, believing she would spiral towards Earth, sometime penetrating its atmosphere and falling back into Luisa’s arms was what kept her going, though.
She replayed in her head the message she had sent the last seconds she was on air with Houston.
‘This is Rose Solano. There has been a misfortune. The rest of the crew is gone. If my wife’s listening, I love you, Luisa. My love, I’ll be there for our anniversary.’
Rose smiled to herself. She had delivered all these in complete tranquility, as if this wasn’t the end. As if ache hadn’t overtaken her body and paralyzed it for few agonizing moments.
She locked the space helmet on the rest of the suit and slid to the hallway above her. She unlocked and opened the hatch, all air and sound getting sucked by the eternal void, peekable from the now open hatch.
She checked her stats on her watch before hopping out; it was a matter of time before her tank oxygen ran out—before she could accomplish her ambitious plan.
If Luisa were here, she would yell at her, telling her she was out of her mind—always thinking too big, her ideas always too grandiose for such a small planet.
She felt a hole right under her chest.
Rose looked at the sun set behind the blue planet. Eight p.m. in Florida usually meant Rose and Luisa out on the beach watching the sunset, cuddling. She craved to be held by Luisa while watching the sunset, but her gut was telling her she would be missing this sunset, and the following ones as well.
As she was about to drop any trying, a voice echoed in her head. It replayed in her head like a broken radio. ‘My love, I’ll be there for our anniversary,’ she had promised hours ago, and she was now promising anew to god or anyone else watching that she would make it to the ground on time.
Rose opened her eyes, focusing back in the game. She decided to trigger the thruster, which hurtled her at a high speed. Rose couldn’t help breathing fast and sloppily due to the initial shock.
‘Focus, Rose,’ she told herself again, when she realized she was abusing oxygen. She thrusted herself once again, but the result was once again the same.
Her breath was rough and she had trouble calming herself; it was easier to play cool when others were watching. She felt for the ring on her finger and her heart found the reassurance it was seeking.
Luisa.
Absentmindedly, she exhaled deeply. The vision of the Earth in front of her ceased to seem terrifying, the void around her stopped appearing threatening, ready to devour her.
Her mind ran back to their wedding day.
Rose was standing at the end of the path, in her fitted black suit, as Luisa walked unhurriedly toward her, in her rose-gold gown. The sunlight illuminated both, the result truly angelic.
The selected few guests were now merely a background that had soon disappeared out of Rose’s vision, the brunette having captivated all her attention.
She never took her eyes off her, even when giving her the bouquet composing solely of roses in pale colors.
She replayed it all; the ceremony, the kiss, the vows—the vows.
‘I knew you were out of this world the moment I laid eyes on you,’ Luisa had told her among other beautiful, emotional things.
Rose chuckled, on the verge of tears.
‘You truly are one in a trillion. My love for you cannot be contained in just one planet,’ Rose had replied when reading her own vow.
She remembered each of Luisa’s reactions as she was delivering her speech—the happy tears.
It was too much for her now; hot tears streamed down her face. She wished for a caring, soft hand to come wipe them away.
Her wrist tech flashed. “O2 LEVEL LOW. 30% REMAINING.”
She fast-forwarded the rest to Luisa’s selected playlist for their wedding event. She couldn’t help but chuckle sharply, remembering Luisa had selected “Don’t Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls for them to dance to, after their official wedding song.
Rose had chosen “Across the Stars.”
Luisa had scoffed when they were picking songs, bodies and limbs tangled on their living-room couch. ‘From Star Wars?’ Rose had just hummed yes.
Rose’s cheeks turned rosy. ‘It’s our song and it’s far more romantic than—’ she took a paper from Luisa’s hands, ‘Britney – “You drive me crazy,” that’s ridiculous,’ she mocked.
‘But, you do drive me crazy,’ Luisa instantly replied, tugging at Rose’s hand, dragging in for a kiss.
She preferred to skip what followed the kiss, grunting as she thrust forward one more time.
The blue planet reflected on her space helmet, the tears in her eyes barely visible. She continued hurtling toward the Earth in an agonizing pace.
“OXYGEN 10%,” the wrist tech alarmed her.
Rose closed her eyes as the sweetest of memories hit her.
She remembered that time she had taken Luisa to the local planetarium, the place having been reserved for the evening.
Her mind fast-forwarded the tour around the premises to the part they were both standing in the projection hall. Rose had made sure the brightest starts lit the large dome above them.
Luisa remained watching the stars astounded. Rose came and hugged her from behind, planting a kiss on her cheek.
‘How do you like the stars tonight, babe?’
Luisa tried to find the words to express her feelings, but was overwhelmed with emotions and merely chuckled happily.
‘They’re all shinning for you, my love,’ Rose continued, placing another kiss on the brunette’s cheek before resting her head on her shoulder.
‘I love it, thank you,’ Luisa said, her voice muffled, as she kissed Rose on the cheek. She lifted her head to whisper, ‘I love you.’
Rose took Luisa by the hand as a slow melody started playing in the background. Luisa chuckled as she recognized the tune; Across the Stars. She bit her lip as Rose brought their bodies together and moved them to the melody.
‘I love you, Luisa,’ Rose husked, staring deeply into her sparkling eyes.
Luisa grinned, but her grin fell when Rose lunged before her. The brunette brought her hands to cover her mouth after a gasp.
‘Luisa Alver, do you wanna be my wife, in this universe—and any other universe out there?’
‘Yes. Yes, yes,’ Luisa had replied excitedly, also falling to her knees. She tenderly took Rose’s face in her hands and kissed her lovingly.
Rose had taken Luisa's hand and slid the finest rose-gold engagement ring either had ever seen, on her finger.
She sealed the loving proposal with an embrace.
Rose blinked fast, her eyes had now become too unfocused. Her space helmet had fogged, but the Earth's atmosphere now appeared closer than ever.
Her oxygen-deprived mind commanded her eyes to fall closed, no longer able to bare the haziness.
‘In this universe, and any other universe out there,’ she rasped with difficulty.