Chapter Text
“So, what’s on the agenda for today, Ms. Potts?”
Tony’s voice was still muted with sleep as he stumbled into the kitchen, instinctively reaching for the mug of coffee JARVIS had prepared. Pepper stood next to the counter, scrolling through the list of appointments on her phone.
“You have an interview with Times at nine, a fitting with Gio at 11 for next week’s award show suit, you’re meeting Colonel Rhoades for lunch at 12:30, then it’s back to work at the office until three, when R&D has a presentation for you. After that, you’re free for the evening.”
“Excellent! The being free part, that is. The rest of that sounds…dull. Hellish, actually. I’m not sure I’ll be able to live through all that.”
“Well, be sure that you do,” said Pepper, gratefully accepting the glass of orange juice that rose out of the counter, “and maybe tonight you’ll be able to unwind with a drink. One drink,” she added sternly.
“The last time I was sober this long, I was in a womb for nine months,” grumbled Tony, but he offered nothing beyond his usual token protest.
The end of their probation was near – both Pepper and Tony could see the proverbial light at the end of tunnel. A few more incident-free days and they were safe. Both were eagerly, anxiously awaiting the end, for vastly different reasons: Tony so he could return to his booze and his hookups and general debauchery, and Pepper so she could return to her apartment and maybe finally get that second date with Chris.
Pepper had, throughout the probation period, unofficially and unhappily taken up residence with Tony. The decision had been reached after a night of screaming and near-breakdowns on both sides, when Pepper had JARVIS and Happy clean out all of Tony’s hidden alcohol stores. The man stocked more than a Prohibition speakeasy, but a few careful sweeps seemed to have removed every glass bottle stashed around the mansion. Pepper had been enthusiastically supportive of dumping the contents of said bottles, but when Tony mentioned that one bottle of scotch cost more than Pepper’s annual rent, she grudgingly agreed to let Happy guard the stash. She trusted Happy, of course – it was Tony she didn’t trust, and as long as his ridiculously specific store of booze existed, she had no doubts he’d do everything in his power to get to it.
After the Great Raid of 2007, as Tony had taken to muttering about it under his breath, Pepper had packed her bags and moved to one of Tony’s many spare bedrooms (after insisting the mattress, sheets, and carpet be thoroughly cleaned; she’d listened to one too many of Tony’s adventures with women to be completely comfortable on any bed in his house). She was acting as Tony’s exterior conscience, following him to every meeting, making sure he ate meals even when ensconced in his lab, keeping him sober and celibate until they had proved to the Board that Tony was capable of acting like an adult.
“You know, it’s probably gonna be one hell of hassle driving up here every morning once you leave,” commented Tony with almost exaggerated nonchalance. “Have you ever thought about moving to a closer apartment?”
Pepper frowned over the newspaper she’d started perusing after setting aside the Entertainment Section for Tony (as per their usual morning ritual). “Why would I need to come up here every morning after probation’s over? Were you planning on giving up all this hard work and getting fired again?” Pepper stressed the last word slightly, unleashing as she did her patented Disapproving Eyebrow that had shamed Anna into good behavior on more than one occasion.
It seemed to have a similar effect on Tony, as he sulked slightly in his chair. “No,” he grumbled petulantly. “I’m perfectly capable of holding a job, Pepper; I am a grown man, after all.”
“Then why do I need to babysit you when you’re off probation?”
“Because it’s a system that works! The old one didn’t work, obviously, so why would we revert to an obsolete model? That’s not going to improve efficiency. I mean, really Pepper, you might not be an engineer but surely you know not to mess with something good.”
The truth was, Pepper had been looking into new apartments. Her current landlady hated her, the building was apparently owned by a shady government agency that wanted her to spy on her boss, the pipes were obnoxiously loud and creaky at night, and the security was so lackluster that just last month Pepper had come home to discover a drunk stranger on her couch, where he’d apparently passed out after blundering in to what he mistakenly thought was his apartment.
Her salary at Stark Industries was nothing to sneeze at; already, her first few paychecks had gotten her almost caught up on her bills and rent, as well as providing some new, SI-worthy business clothes.
Still, the red-circled date of Anna’s wedding was zooming closer, and Pepper was putting all the money she didn’t spend paying off debts in an old jam jar labeled “England Air Fare.” Anna had all but demanded that Pepper stay (“rent free!”) with one of Chad’s friends, so all she really had to pay for was her plane ticket. And her bridesmaid dress, as Anna had insisted that Pepper was her best friend in the world and obviously the only choice for her maid of honor. Pepper suspected Anna still felt guilty about ditching her and skipping the country.
“I thought you two were eloping?” asked Pepper, during one of their too-infrequent phone calls. “Now you want a big white wedding?”
“Oh, Pepper,” laughed Anna in an annoyingly superior way, “When you get married, you’ll see. It just wouldn’t have felt right without all my friends and family there. So yes, you have to come!”
Searching out a new apartment had therefore taken the backburner until the wedding was over, which Pepper didn’t expect Tony to understand. She doubted her boss had ever had to save up for anything; he had enough money to buy his own plane, so struggling to buy a plane ticket would be laughable for him.
“Come on, Pep.” Tony was suddenly standing, leaning to hang his head over the edge of her paper. “I really think we’re doing good here. You can’t jump ship now.”
“I’ll look into it,” Pepper promised, folding the paper and getting to her feet. “Right now, we need to get going if you’re going to make your meeting with the Times.”
Tony sighed dramatically, but he didn’t raise the subject again as the pair climbed into Happy’s car, and there was no time to mention apartments or moving between Happy’s cheerful remarks about the weather and boisterous commentary on some sports game or another that Pepper hadn’t had time to watch. Sometimes Pepper privately thought she worked twice the hours Tony did.
Pepper was having a productive morning, having declined Tony’s invitation to sit in on his interview. After pawning her boss off on the poor interviewer, who was probably not adequately prepared to deal with Tony’s attitude this early in the morning, Pepper took to her desk and turned on her three computer screens.
The amount of technology that she, as a lowly PA, was expected to deal with had nearly overwhelmed her in the beginning of her time at SI. Now, Pepper felt like an old pro. One screen dealt exclusively with Tony’s public image, where Pepper approved his various speeches and comments to the press, set up interviews, and fit as many events as possible in Tony’s already busy schedule in order to appease the hags that worked in PR. They were a bitter, nagging group, but Pepper could hardly blame them for being jaded where Tony was concerned – his escapades from his youth (and even some more recent misadventures) were legendary and the bane of SI’s publicists.
One screen was for correspondence with the various R&D departments within the building. From dealing with requests for increased budgets to receiving blueprints for new, experimental technology, Pepper’s job was to deal with what she could, then prioritize the remaining items and forward them to Tony.
The final screen was a direct line to JARVIS, so Pepper could ascertain Tony’s location, upload schematics to Tony’s home lab, and manage Tony’s personal correspondence. Currently, Pepper was utilizing JARVIS’s ability to function as the world’s most effective search engine by having him compare airline prices for her. She needed to book her flight to England soon, so she could plan Tony’s life around her absence.
She was dealing with yet another complaint from Human Resources regarding the policy on interdepartmental romances (and Pepper was positive there was an ulterior motive behind the objections) when the door to Tony’s office flew open and the reporter from the Times came striding out in a storm of fury.
“I absolutely cannot believe you! To think the fate of our country’s defense rests in the hands of an immature, irresponsible ass like you!”
Tony was trailing sheepishly after the reporter, blathering platitudes, but the reporter was having none of it. She stomped to the nearest open elevator and hopped in, throwing her visitor’s pass on the ground as the doors closed.
Pepper blinked in shock as a small crowd gathered, drawn by the same morbid magnetism that captured stares at the scenes of car crashes.
“So!” said Tony, clapping his hands. “What’s next on the agenda?”
Pepper caught Obadiah’s thunderous expression from across the room, propelling her to her feet instantly. “Inside, now,” she hissed at Tony, grabbing the sleeve of his suit (that probably cost more than her first car) and dragging him back into his office.
Pepper plopped into the chair in front of Tony’s desk, while Tony decided to sit right on the desk itself, crossing his legs and looking at Pepper with an innocent expression that didn’t fool her for a second.
“What,” began Pepper in an eerily calm voice that never failed to strike fear into the hearts of her audience, “was that?”
“That was Lynette Peters.”
“Lynette…?” The name sounded familiar, but Pepper wasn’t sure where she’d heard it before. “Who…oh. Oh, no.”
Lynette Peters. The confusion and frustration of Pepper’s first day suddenly filled her mind, along with the image of a half-naked woman screaming and throwing shoes while Pepper cowered behind a dry-cleaning bag and manila envelope containing an NDA.
“You slept with the reporter from the Times?” Tony was absolutely unbelievable sometimes.
“In my defense, her occupation never really came up. We didn’t spend a lot of the night talking, you see.” Tony fell silent when at Pepper’s glare.
“What did you say to her that upset her so much?” After all, Tony had been with her for over an hour before she’d stormed out.
“Well, I may have flirted with her. And uh, implied that I didn’t remember sleeping with her before. Oh, and I might have mentioned that it must not have been that memorable, because she didn’t even look familiar.”
“Tony!” Pepper jumped to her feet. “That’s awful, and just plain mean! Oh, PR is going to have my head for this one – who knows what she’s going to put in that article now!”
“Oh, her editor won’t let her put anything too racy in there – it’s the Times, not some trashy tabloid.”
“Tony, do I need to remind you that you’re still on probation? Which means I’m still on probation, and an unfavorable interview mixed with office-wide disturbance isn’t helping either of us.”
“I hate to interrupt,” came JARVIS’s smooth voice through the office’s intercom system, “but I’ve finished your cross search, Ms. Potts, and found a discounted flight to London that needs to be reserved as soon as possible. It’s a limited time offer and almost $200 under the budget you requested.”
“Wait, you’re going to England? When are you going to England? Why are you going to England?”
“Ms. Potts? Would you like me to book your flight?”
“Tony!”
Oh, great, Pepper thought. Just what this situation needed.
Obadiah pushed his way into the office, smiling in a rather painful way. “Tony!” he repeated, “What on earth did I just witness?”
“Okay,” said Pepper, taking the situation in hand. “Tony, you have a fitting in forty minutes – have Happy take you there now, Gio won’t mind that you’re early. JARVIS, put the flight details up on my screen and send an email to Laura in PR. Tell her to meet us in Mr. Stark’s conference room so she, Mr. Stane, and I can address this morning’s altercation. Hold the rest of my calls until this is dealt with, please.”
“As you wish, Ms. Potts,” agreed JARVIS. Tony simply stared until Pepper made a shooing motion with her hand, hoping her eyes conveyed her urgency. She had no clue how she was going to smooth this incident over, but she knew she’d have better luck without Tony there to make flippant remarks.
Tony left the office, pausing at Pepper’s desk and tapping at her third screen for a second before strolling to the elevators, waving at the diminished crowd of curious workers.
Pepper took a deep breath before turning to Obadiah with a calm smile. “Now, right this way, Mr. Stane. Let’s get this misunderstanding settled.”
“They’ve extended your probation.”
Tony looked up from the steak he was sawing into small, precise cubes and frowned.
“Well, that’s not that bad, then?” His voice rose at the end, making the statement into a question.
Pepper sighed, pushing her plate away. JARVIS’s cooking was impeccable, as always, but Pepper couldn’t eat when her stomach was still twisted with disappointment.
“They’ve extended it another month, Tony. Which means I can’t leave you alone for another thirty days, which means I’m going to miss my best friend’s wedding. Which is why I was going to England, since you were wondering.”
Tony shrugged. “It’s not a big deal – ”
“It’s a big deal to me!” Pepper snapped. “I haven’t seen Anna in months, and she was counting on me being there. Just because you don’t care about these types of things doesn’t mean – ”
“Whoa, there,” said Tony, lifting his hands in surrender. “It’s not a big deal, because I already booked your flight. Mine too. There’s a research facility in Wales,” Tony added loudly, seeing Pepper about to protest, “that Stark Industries has been thinking about acquiring for a while now. This would be a great time to go check it out! You can go to your friend’s wedding, keep an eye on me, and SI gets some fresh blood. Everybody wins.”
“But…” Pepper began. She wasn’t sure why she was protesting – this really could be the solution to her problems. What’s the worst that could happen?
“Don’t worry, Pep,” added Tony, stealing the half-eaten baked potato off Pepper’s plate, “I love weddings.”
Pepper made a note to Skype Anna with the news rather than call. She just had to see her friend’s face when she found out that the Tony Stark was going to be a plus-one at her wedding.