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2017-06-26
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What we seek

Summary:

Chloé helps Marinette get home after an exhausting night. It hasn't been easy getting to this point, but they are both glad they did.

Notes:

This is my remix for the think outside the love square month. Sadly my computer died a week before it started so I couldn't participate as much as I woud have liked but I had so much fun with this, and I loved seeing everyone's contributions!
Tbh I had trouble choosing a fic from Megatraven because she has so many and they are all amazing. Be sure to check them out.

Work Text:

Saying that Marinette was tired was an understatement. There had been an akuma attack in the middle of the night, and it had taken her and Chat hours to get the situation under control. She had had to rush back to her house to be there before her parents realized she was gone. She had made it back just a few minutes before her alarm went off. 

She had considered skipping school. She hadn't done it once since the beginning of the school year, and she thought the situation deserved it. Her parents would understand if she asked them to stay at home, she never did unless it was important. But she had been still running high on adrenaline and thought she could handle it. 

She had been so wrong. 

It was alright at first but soon the rest of her energy ran out. Sitting for hours and listening to classes had become torture. She wouldn't allow herself to fall asleep during class but it had been a near thing many times. 

"Marinette?" A voice snapped her out of her thoughts. When had she stopped paying attention to the conversation anyway? 

"I'm sorry Chloé, what were you saying?" 

"I was asking if you had something to do after school" Chloé repeated. 

"No, I was planning on going home and taking a nap." 

"Great, then I'll walk with you." Chloé said as she stepped back so Marinette could get out of her seat. 

"Weren't you going shopping with Sabrina after class?" She asked, confused. She wasn't so tired she had started mixing up the dates, right? 

"I asked her if we could leave it for tomorrow and she didn't mind. I was not about to let you walk home on your own. You look terrible, Marinette, I can't believe you are taking such poor care of yourself." Chloé huffed in irritation as they left the classroom. 

"Well thank you so much Chloé." Marinette rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but smile. Chloé had come a long way since they had become friends, but she still found it easier to express concern by acting annoyed. Well, she found it easier to express most things by acting annoyed. But Marinette had learnt to read the true meaning behind her words like she had learnt so many things about her. 

It still caught her by surprise from time to time. Marinette didn't think of herself as a resentful person but even she thought she had her limits. If you had told her months ago that she wouldn't only get along with Chloé Bourgeois, but that she would also become one of her best friends, Marinette wasn't sure she would have believed it.  

Now it was hard to imagine her day without Chloé in it. She didn't know exactly when it had started, or what had prompted it, but she knew that one day she had suddenly realized that they hadn't gotten in a fight in weeks. There hadn't been any akumas directly linked to her either. And then a morning not long after that Chloé had apologized to her. 

She had walked into the classroom, stood in front of her and said I'm sorry as she looked right into Marinette's eyes. She didn't say what about, but Marinette got the message anyway. To be honest, Marinette had been too shocked to even think about rejecting her apology. So Marinette had just nodded, too stunned to say anything else. Without another word, Chloé had left to sit by Sabrina, who was grinning from ear to ear. 

Even know, Chloé was not the best at apologies. Marinette couldn't even imagine the courage she had needed to do that. 

"Marinette!" Chloé's voice snapped her into alert for the second time that day, this time along with a firm hand on her shoulder. "Watch where you are going!" She sounded genuinely angry now. 

Belatedly, Marinette realized that the light was green on the street she had been about to cross. She could swear she saw it red a second ago. Or maybe not. Had she even looked at all? 

No wonder Chloé was upset, Marinette was a mess.  

"I'm sorry. I'll try to be more careful" she tried to appease her. 

"I'm going to need a bit more than trying Marinette. Here" Chloé said as she turned around and crouched in front of her. 

Marinette couldn't do more than blink at her. 

"What?" She blinked again, but it didn't help her understand what the other girl expected from her. 

"Climb onto my back, I'll carry you the rest of the way." 

"That's not necessary! Seriously Chloé, I'm tired but I can get home by myself." She was Ladybug, ok? She could handle a simple walk. 

"You already demonstrated that you can't. So you either put up with this willingly, or I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you home anyway. Your choice, you have until the light turns red again before I get up." 

Contrary to popular belief, Marinette could recognize a lost battle. She might have been able to handle walking, but she knew she couldn't overpower Chloé in her current state. Or anyone else for that matter. So Marinette ignored the voice in her head that told her that she should be carrying her own weight and did as Chloé said. 

"See? It's not that hard to accept help from time to time" Chloé said once she was back on her feet, with Marinette firmly on her back. 

"You are one to talk" Marinette couldn't help but snap. But Chloé only laughed at her response. Which was nice. Chloé had a nice laugh. When she wasn't laughing at other people's disgrace, of course. But no, Marinette thought, Chloé didn't do that anymore. 

"I didn't know you got grumpy when you were tired." 

"I'm sorry" Marinette said softly. 

"It's ok Marinette, I admit I can be a bit headstrong from time to time too. Though not as much as you." 

Marinette didn't need to see her face to know that she was smirking. She wished she could retort something smart but her mind drew a blank. Ugh, she hated feeling this drained.  

"Mari?" Chloé asked after the silence lapsed a few seconds. That was unusual, the quiet. Chloé always had a story to tell, or an argument to make, or the right question to get Marinette talking. But Chloé must have known that Marinette wasn't in the mood to talk right now, and that was ok. It didn't feel weird. It was comfortable. 

"What is it?" Marinette asked. She realized she had closed her eyes, and opened them again. 

"Are you ok?" Marinette opened her mouth to answer but Chloé kept talking over her. "I know you are exhausted. I don't mean right now. You've been really stressed this past week and now this. Is there something going on?" 

Marinette didn't answer. She didn't want to. The question had three possible answers. Two involved lying, either to say that there was nothing, or to make up some plausible cause of stress. The third one was to admit that yes, there was something going on that Chloé didn't know about. She didn't even need to go into specifics. Chloé wouldn't press her for details if Marinette decided not to give them to her. But still. 

Besides, it felt wrong to imply that being Ladybug was an issue for her. It wasn't. It was just that sometimes it got exhausting. And a bit lonely. So Marinette chose to remain silent.   

"Is there anything I can do?" Chloé asked, because of course she took her silence for a yes. To be fair, one didn't need to know Marinette very well to understand it. But Marinette liked to think that Chloé understood her better than some. 

"You are doing it right now" she replied after a while. Really, just knowing that she cared took the edge of having to lie and sneak around all the time. It made her feel less...alone. 

"Ok. You can fall asleep now. I promise I'll get you home." 

Marinette smiled and closed her eyes, resting her head against the back of Chloé's neck. She knew that she would.  

Of course, she hadn't trusted her right away. Chloé hadn't even tried to be her friend at first. She just stopped actively trying to be mean to her. Marinette had watched as she became friendlier with everyone in their class and part of her hadn't believed it. She had not been the only one. Most of them had their reasons for distrusting Chloé after all. 

But after a while they started smiling back at her. Her compliments didn't sound sarcastic anymore. She was just another person in their class. 

Marinette had been happy she seemed to have changed her ways, but that didn't mean that she wanted to get closer to her. A nice attitude didn't erase all the things Chloé had done to her in the previous years. It had taken an akuma, like most things did nowadays, to change that. 

Chloé had gotten hurt pushing Marinette out of harm's way.  The kind of hurt that Marinette by now knew wouldn't get fixed by throwing her lucky charm into the air. She had to stay in bed for a few days while she recovered and Marinette had decided to visit her. 

She had meant it to be a quick visit. She wanted to thank Chloé, drop off that day's homework and be on her way. But Chloé had been so surprised when she saw her walk into her room that Marinette had taken it like a challenge. 

They didn't discover that they had a bunch of shared interests, or that they understood each other perfectly. More like the opposite. They found out that they had different opinions in most topics, and that they had completely different senses of humor. But they also never ran out of things to talk about. Now that Chloé wasn't being unnecessary mean to her, Marinette realized that she was fun to argue with.  

It hadn't felt like friendship at first. They would debate things in class until the hour ran out would have to continue talking during breaks. The first time Chloé had texted her she had linked her an article backing up her point on something they had discussed in History earlier that day. And of course, Marinette couldn't leave it unanswered. 

Alya had been the one bring it up. She was still suspicious of Chloé, and couldn't believe that Marinette had been so quick in befriending her. Marinette tried to disagree with that statement. Alya had pointed out that talking at school with someone, having lunch with them and texting them continuously during the day sounded an awful lot like things you did with your friends. Which had forced Marinette to examine her feelings about the situation. 

After talking about it with Alya, and Tikki, then Alya again, she came to the conclusion that she liked spending time with Chloé. She was fun, and clever. But more than that, she could be kind, and caring, a thing that she had never exhibited before, but that was clearly trying to work more on. And sure, that didn't make her forget about everything that had happened between them before but she had apologized, and she was trying to do better. Marinette found herself wanting to forgive her. After all, she had too done things she regretted with all her heart and wished she could be forgiven for them some day. 

So she let herself stop worrying about it and just enjoyed her newfound friendship with Chloé. 

Until she realized that she enjoyed it a bit too much and promptly started questioning everything again. Marinette didn't even know what she would do with all the free time she would have if she stopped having small crisis like every other day. Probably get some more sleep. 

So yeah, Marinette liked Chloé. She thought she was pretty and cute and that she had absolutely zero chances of her feelings being reciprocated. Sure, Chloé might talk to her now and walk her home and make sure she got enough sleep but that didn't mean anything. Alya did all those things too, and she didn't have the added guilt of having treated Marinette badly for years. 

Plus, they all knew which girl held Chloé's heart already. She didn't talk much about Ladybug in front of Marinette, but once was all it took for her to know. The look on her face every time Chloé mentioned her could only be described as adoring.   

She was ok with it, really. She was already friends with Chloé and her competitiveness would never let her stammer around her the way she had done with Adrien. Speaking of which, she had finally learned to relax and formulate coherent sentences around him. And while she had quickly realized that they wouldn't have worked that way, they still got much closer. He reminded her of Chat sometimes, with his quirks and weird sense of humor. Being with him always put her at ease, like she didn't need to be on guard all the time. 

So good things had come out it. She didn't mind that Chloé probably didn't think of her that way as long as she had her friendship. And she had it, so it was ok.  

Chloé could feel the second that Marinette fell asleep. She had noticed the tension on her body since she had picked her up, but now it was gone. She continued walking even more carefully than before, trying not to disturb her. Marinette was always tired, Chloé could tell, but today was worse than it had been in a  while. It looked like she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. 

There was something that Marinette wasn't telling. That she had never told her and would probably never do. That was fine with Chloé, as long as she took care of herself. Or at least let her friends do it for her. 

Marinette's mother saw them approaching the bakery and opened the door for them. She smiled at Chloé and silently gestured to her to go upstairs. Chloé made a mental note to reassure her that Marinette had only fallen asleep because she had told her to. Although Marinette's parents surely knew what was up with her, right? And that was why her mother looked concerned but resigned? Chloé knew for a fact that even Alya didn't know, but she couldn't imagine Marinette keeping anything from her parents. 

Chloé was sure that Marinette would wake up when they got to her room. Or when she disentangled her from her back and laid her on the bed. Or when she took off her shoes and threw a blanked over her. But Marinette didn't wake up which only made Chloé worry further. She had heard Alya make many jokes about how much of a light sleeper Marinette was. She must have been truly exhausted to keep sleeping through all of that. 

It was time to leave, but Chloé found herself hesitating. She would have liked to stay and make sure that Marinette got the rest she so badly needed. But what was she going to do? Sit by her bed and watch her sleep? That wasn't helpful. 

She got distracted when she noticed a bunch of new pictures on the wall. Marinette loved pictures. She took them all the time, often without anyone noticing. It used to drive Chloé crazy. She wasn't like Mari, who always looked great no matter what she did. No, Chloé needed time to get ready. Marinette had laughed when she told her so, and Chloé had been ready to walk out on her. But then Marinette had shoved her phone in front of her and said "are you kidding me? Look at how cute you look". Chloé had had to drop the argument so Marinette wouldn't notice the blush on her cheeks. 

There were a lot of pictures of her on the wall. But there was a lot of photos on the wall, period. Most of them had Alya in the frame. That was ok with Chloé. She wasn't on the business of lying to herself anymore. She knew she could never replace Alya in Marinette's heart. She was lucky enough that she let her have a place there in the first place. Chloé would take what she was given and be grateful for it. She knew it was more than she deserved. 

Yes, she had apologized to Marinette. But she had never expected her to accept her apology. Chloé knew she had made many mistakes, and that just wanting to correct them didn't make them right. She was determined to try, sure, but that didn't mean that she seriously thought she had a chance. But that was just the way Marinette was. So kind. Too kind for her own good probably. But now she had Chloé to be mean for her so that didn’t worry her as much anymore. 

"Chloé?" Marinette asked, startling her. "What are you looking at?" 

"Your pictures, I saw that you added a few from the picnic we had the other day." 

"Were you thinking about that?" 

"I was thinking about how kind you are to everyone. Look at this wall, it's filled with people who you've help thousands of times. People who have made silly mistakes and serious mistakes and you've forgiven them all." 

Chloé walked over to Marinette's side, intending to get her to sleep again. But the look of confusion on the girl's face stopped her. She had sat on the bed, her brow furrowed in confusion. 

"Did I say something wrong?" She had just wanted to let her know how much she appreciated her. But it wasn't easy for Chloé to say things like that. Perhaps she hadn't done it right. 

"No, I just don't get it. You looked like..." 

Chloé waited for her to continue but she didn't. 

"Like what?" 

"Like you were thinking about Ladybug. You know, like you were full of affection." 

Chloé could have lied. She could have also offered a flimsy response. Started an argument, diverted Marinette's attention. She was good at that. But there was something about Marinette's expression that prevented her from it. She looked vulnerable, like saying that was as hard for her as it would be for Chloé to answer with the truth. It might have only been the exhaustion but maybe, just maybe, Marinette and her were both hoping for the same thing. 

Chloé sat next to Marinette and took a deep breath. She could do this. Marinette deserved the truth, even if it ruined their friendship. 

"It's because I am" she said softly. She could have left it at that, but if this was the last time she could be so open with Marinette, it was best to say it all now. "You are so amazing Marinette. You are nice to everyone. Even me. You taught me how to be better and that it's ok to make mistakes as long as you understand where you went wrong and try to fix them. I didn't think I could... It's always been easier, to just care about myself. To hurt before someone hurts me. But looking at you... I understood that it's better to care about others, to try to make things better for them. It might hurt sometimes, but it's worth it. You are worth it Mari, because I... like you. A lot." 

Chloé hadn't made it two words into her speech before having to lower her gaze. She didn't dare look up now, not knowing what she would find in Marinette's face. She was always so expressive... 

She didn't see Marinette reaching for her, so she was taken by surprise by the other girl's strong hug. Chloé wasn't sure what it meant, but she let herself hug back.  

"I don't think I taught you anything, Chloé. You already knew how to do all that, you just had to let yourself realize it." Marinette drew back, still holding onto Chloé's shoulders. She was grinning from ear to ear and Chloé thought she had never seen her look so happy. "I like you too. I didn't think you'd like me back so I didn't say anything." 

Finding herself lost for words, Chloé only hugged Marinette again. She had worked so hard to be someone worth caring for, and to hear Marinette say that she had succeeded meant everything. But no matter how many things had changed, Chloé still liked to have the last word. So after a while she was the one letting go. 

"That was nice but could you get back to your nap now? Sleep deprived isn't really your best look." 

Marinette tried to glared, but she couldn't keep herself from laughing. She moved over to the other side of the bed. 

"Nap with me?" she asked and Chloé couldn't say no to that. 

Their relationship had already gone through a lot of changes, she couldn't wait to find out which new ones this would bring.