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2017-06-21
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danse du diable vert

Summary:

"We're- not friends." Susa responds bluntly. He's pretty sure his increasing confusion would visible to a blind man, but that inscrutable smile doesn't even flicker. "Imayoshi, I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't understand what this is about."

"Aw, Susa, there's nothing to understand!" Imayoshi's grinning now as he sticks his hands into his coat pockets, morning sun glinting off his glasses. "I'm just a fan, is all."

Or; the one in which Susa is a cellist, and Imayoshi just wants to play with him.

Notes:

for k, who prompted:

imayoshi is an aspiring conductor and also susa's biggest fan. susa ignores him to play cello for kasamatsu because people don't automatically have a problem with kasamatsu's face. imayoshi repents.

Work Text:

Imayoshi Shouichi is the last person Susa expects to see at nine o'clock on a Saturday morning, when he steps out of his usual practice room on the second floor of the music department.

"Hey, Susa," Imayoshi says with a grin, hand coming up in a mock salute. "Fancy seeing you here!"

Susa's eyebrows lower as he considers this. "You saw me here last week."

"Eh. Figure of speech." Imayoshi falls in next to him as Susa starts walking, readjusting the thick music file under his arm. "I could hear you- that sounded real nice. It's a Cassado, right? Are you planning to audition with it for the Winter showcase?"

"Maybe." He's finding it difficult to balance accuracy and expression with Cassado's quick runs and double-bowing, and Susa's not sure he can pull it off. He glances at Imayoshi warily. "I haven't really decided yet."

Imayoshi makes a humming noise. "You should. It'd be great. I don't think anyone's doing Cassado yet this year, but I can find out."

They've just cleared the front doors of the music building, but Susa stops so soon that automatic door brushes the edge of his cello case as it closes. Imayoshi takes a few more steps before he seems to realise he's left Susa behind. When he turns, he's smiling.

Susa can't read that smile. It sets his teeth on edge.

He and Imayoshi don't really talk. They share one tutorial and a handful of compulsory lectures. Susa doesn't actually like the kinds of barbed jokes Imayoshi likes to crack at the expense of others.

"Why?" In his surprise, the single word sounds rude- almost like a demand. He tries again. "I mean, why do you need to find out? Aren't the conducting students going to be having their own showcase in March?"

In other words, Imayoshi's not even going to be in the Winter showcase along with the other instrumentalists, so Susa doesn't understand why he would care. Susa's pretty sure they've never had a conversation this long in the four months since the start of the semester.

Imayoshi's smile widens. "Can't I want to help a friend out?"

"We're- not friends." Susa responds bluntly. He's pretty sure his increasing confusion would visible to a blind man, but that inscrutable smile doesn't even flicker. "Imayoshi, I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't understand what this is about."

"Aw, Susa, there's nothing to understand!" Imayoshi's grinning now as he sticks his hands into his coat pockets, morning sun glinting off his glasses. "I'm just a fan, is all."

 

---

 

Susa doesn't manage to push the weird exchange from his mind, because Imayoshi just keeps turning up. He's there when Susa least expects it, always interested, always striking up conversations and even, on one occasion, helping Susa correct his homework for Ear Training I because Susa is struggling and Ear Training is Imayoshi's best subject.

It becomes less weird as time goes by, and Susa starts to let his guard down. It helps that once Imayoshi realises Susa doesn't like poking fun at others, he makes a concerted effort to stop doing it- at least in Susa's presence. After that, they get along much better.

Susa still doesn't really understand what's going on, but he resigns himself to it nonetheless.

A few months later, Susa remembers that he has to register with an orchestra for the next semester's participation credits. When he logs on to the university portal, Susa pauses at Touou Orchestra, Conductor: Imayoshi Shouichi on the dropdown list- but continues scrolling to click on the Third Kaijou Orchestra instead.

 

---

 

The first inkling Susa has that someone's joined him in his little study corner, is when a hand waves itself in front of his nose. When he turns, blinking, Imayoshi has slid into the neighbouring booth, and is wiggling long, pianist fingers at him in a cheerful hello.

Susa slides his headphones off and mutes them for good measure when he realises his music is still really loud in the library's Silent Section. "Sorry, one sec," he mutters. He glances around to make sure no one is there to complain about their talking, and then raises his eyebrows. "What's up?"

"Hey. Nothing, just saw you as I came in," Imayoshi returns just as quietly. "Antiquity essay?"

"Yeah." Susa sighs. The compulsory music history class- Music from Antiquity to 1700- is kind of kicking his ass, though he doesn't want to admit it. Susa prides himself on being a good student, but his dislike of Baroque music isn't helping him at all in the class. He flashes Imayoshi a rueful smile. Typically he would expect one in return.

But for once, Imayoshi looks uncharacteristically somber, and Susa's smile fades. There is a good-natured complaint hovering on the tip of his tongue; the first conversational sally into what is quickly becoming their normal banter, but he swallows it back in the face of Imayoshi's distraction.

"Hey," he says instead, leaning closer, "Is everything okay? You look kind of-" Susa gropes for an adjective and comes up blank, makes a face instead.

Now, Imayoshi's mouth does quirk, but it's only a small curl, nothing like the usual wide, frustratingly opaque expression Susa suspects he wears like armour.

"Nah, It's nothing, I just-"

Susa raises a hand to interrupt and, after a moment of consideration, saves his work and shoves his laptop into his bag.

"Susa? Where are you going?"

"We can't really talk here. Coffee? I'm buying."

Imayoshi blinks, then shrugs. "Sure."

Ten minutes later, Susa sips his iced latte, and eyes Imayoshi from across the table. "So," he starts, watching the way Imayoshi tilts his cup back and forth in uncharacteristic disquiet. "What's going on?"

A beaming smile greets him then, one that's just a fraction too wide. "Why do you think something's wrong?"

Imayoshi has clearly changed his mind about talking. Susa is rapidly growing to hate that smile and everything Imayoshi hides behind it.

Before he can think better of it, he growls. "Don't do that."

Imayoshi pauses. Susa can finally read something in his face again, see the surprise in the slight widening of his narrow eyes. "Do what? Don't be mad, Susa, I was just thinking about some stuff, it's no big deal."

No big deal, he says. Susa glares at him silently until Imayoshi drops his gaze, and then he huffs, and tries to smooth his exasperation away into patience. "Look, I'm not forcing you to tell me, alright? If you don't want to, that's fine. We can talk about which question you chose to write for Antiquity, maybe."

But the thing is- Susa watches Imayoshi and hopes that he'll tell him what's wrong, because somewhere between Imayoshi turning up at his practice room door and Imayoshi following him around after classes, Susa started thinking of him as a friend.

Susa makes friends easily enough, but he's always been too focused on his music, on his career, to keep them. Imayoshi's persistence is new. Different. Susa enjoys their daily banter.

He watches a muscle twitch in Imayoshi's jaw, before the other boy blurts, "The orchestra lists came out today. You're gonna play with Kasamatsu."

Susa blinks. "Yes?" He frowns. "Is that what this is about?"

Imayoshi looks away, and Susa can practically see the walls going up as he hunches lower in his seat. There is an audible edge to his voice when he snaps, "It's nothing. I mean, if you want to play with a conductor who can't even keep his own concertmaster in line, I guess that's up to you."

Now, it's Susa's turn to pause. A scowl turns the corners of Imayoshi's lips downwards and, looking at it, Susa says slowly, "Are you upset because I won't be playing with you?"

Imayoshi doesn't reply.

Despite himself, Susa snorts. "Imayoshi, I don't know if it occurred to you, but I like the kind of music Kaijou plays. Kasamatsu's a former first chair violinist and he likes his strings section. What would I do at Touou, when you have a full complement of piano concertos listed as your programme for the next year?"

Susa watches in bemusement as a flush creeps up Imayoshi's neck. The scowl, if anything, only gets deeper. "We could do a few cello suites," he mutters sulkily, in a way that reminds Susa far too much of his eight-year-old nephew. "You could choose which ones, and I could suggest it to Katsunori."

Susa has to fight to keep a smile in check at the- oddly sweet?- gesture, but ultimately he shakes his head. "No. Honestly, Imayoshi, I like being part of- of a whole sound, you know? I'm happy where I am."

"You're good enough to be principal cello. You could do solos."

"Thanks, but I'm not, really-"

"You are!" Imayoshi insists, fiercely enough and loudly enough that Susa, who had been about to demur, falls silent. Imayoshi continues, the words a jumbled, shocking torrent compared to the way he usually weighs every syllable, every insinuation.

It's that, more than anything, that convinces Susa that this is an Imayoshi angry enough, passionate enough to steamroll straight over all his own careful-constructed walls.

Susa's never seen this before.

"Ever since I heard you play I feel like- I've never heard anyone play like you do, and it's plain as the nose on my face that you could be the linchpin of any orchestra! The fact that no one's spotted that yet is ridiculous!"

This was clearly more than he meant to say, if the way Imayoshi snaps his mouth shut with a click is any indication. Susa's mind whirls. As he stares, Imayoshi's own voice from that early autumn conversation comes back to him.

"I'm just a fan, is all."

Susa had thought he was joking, but maybe- maybe he wasn't. Imayoshi's cheeks are stained red with embarrassment, and Susa feels an answering flush warming his ears at the thought that Imayoshi Shouichi, darling of the composition department and experienced student conductor, might be a fan of his playing.

"Um." Susa scratched the back of his neck, and ducks his head in embarrassment. "Thanks. I guess."

Imayoshi shrugs, staring intently into his still-full mug. God, they haven't even finished their coffees, and already Susa feels like he's run a marathon, face too-warm and heart pumping.

The silence stretches, and then Imayoshi sighs.

"Sorry," he says. "I'm being stupid."

"It's fine." Susa swallows. "I'll think about it."

Imayoshi glances at him, eyebrows raised behind his glasses. "You will?"

"Yeah. I'm committed for this semester, but after that- we'll see."

A smile- a real one- is rapidly spreading across Imayoshi's face, and Susa feels the heat in his ears moving towards his cheeks. Imayoshi doesn't say anything for a long minute, while Susa's heart does awkward somersaults in his chest.

And it's weird, and Susa would never have thought a single smile would affect him this way, and there are so many other things he should be focusing on in university aside from boys, and-

"I'm glad," says Imayoshi, and Susa finds he is, too.

 

---

 

They're mucking around in an empty practice room with a duet they're never going to perform, just because Imayoshi found out Susa had never seen a Ghibli movie and forced him to marathon them all. Now Susa has discovered a deep and abiding love for all of Hisaishi's compositions, but particularly his cello pieces.

Susa could sit in a proper chair with all the arm- and leg- space he needs, but instead he's perched on the edge of the piano bench, as close to Imayoshi as he can get without obstructing either of their playing. And it's comfortable and fun, and Susa holds the vibrato on the last note as Imayoshi plays a cascading series of chords like water droplets, until finally, the last one fades.

Next to him, Imayoshi shifts, and then says, "Hey, Susa?"

Susa opens his eyes- he hadn't even noticed he'd shut them. "Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

He smiles.

"Sure."

 

---

 

Susa waits two years to join an orchestra under Imayoshi, just to teach him a lesson that even if Susa's fine with going where Imayoshi leads most of the time, his music is his own.