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The (Mis)Adventures of Goat

Chapter 38: Nice Now

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Enjoy the last chapter/epilogue :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The sound of something rustling shivers through the darkness. Something rancid tickles his nose.

Why am I awake?

Furuta tries to lift his arms. They're chained down. Metal presses into his skin. Something soft rests over him. A blanket?

Why am I alive?

"He's awake," calls a voice.

No shit. But why? Furuta squints, turning his head to peer up at a goateed ghoul. Banjou, if he remembers correctly.

"Sorry, we drugged you to get to back here," Banjou says. "Actually we're not that sorry."

Instead of dying, those brats got to see their parents save their enemy. Reality shoves its cold fingers into him. I hate everything.

I am such a failure.

"You're going back to prison soon," Banjou informs him. "Now that we've got enough leads on V—or Imitation V."

Not a bad name for them. Furuta winces.

"Are you in pain?"

He closes his eyes again. I didn't want to wake up. "I presume the government will execute me soon enough."

"Not happening," says a voice behind Banjou. Furuta's eyes fly open.

Kaneki leans against the door, arms crossed. Juuzou and Ui glare down at him.

Great.

"Hi Kaneki," Furuta manages. "I'm nice now." He can't even try to laugh.

"From forensics we've gathered plus Seina's testimony," Juuzou says, fiddling with the Q gun he still carries. "You did not kill anyone while you were on the lam. So no need to add more charges. Your sentence remains the same."

Fucking hell.

"Stop trying to die," Kaneki snaps.

Furuta scowls. "And live for what? There's nothing—just four walls, a ceiling and a floor—"

"Your own fault," points out Sir Sanctimonious, Ui.

"You aren't any better," sneers Furuta, and Ui's face pales.

"They're trying," Kaneki says. "We're all trying. You're not." He swallows.

I hate you.

Why do you get everything and I get nothing? He thinks of Rize, of Touka, of Yuki, of the times in the Sunlit Garden when one of the Washuus would walk through and pass him by, because he was just a specimen. "How's Goat's public image?"

"Damaged but not beyond repair," Ui responds, crossing his arms. "We look like heroes to quite a few people. Incompetent heroes maybe, but heroes. And people are impressed with Tatara and the ghouls from the 24th ward. They're going to be awarded medals."

Well, at least I accomplished that.

But in the end they didn't need to publicly kill me. I was irrelevant. Just like always. "Congratulations." Furuta rolls his eyes. Damn, the smell of the RC suppressant makes him want to gag. Kaneki and Banjou have mild cringes on their faces as well.

"Look," says Kaneki, cringing and cracking his knuckles. "Thank you for saving Yuki."

"Don't expect a thank you for saving his own life," quips Juuzou.

"I don't," says Kaneki, staring down at Furuta, who is trapped. If he looks away, Kaneki wins. If he looks into Kaneki's eyes, Kaneki wins.

Goddammit.

"Even after finding out you used him to escape," Ui says, his fist curling and lip pulling back in a snarl. "Yuki still cares about you. So does Masanori, unfortunately."

Furuta arches his eyebrows. "So I did get under your skin? I'm still there?"

Juuzou groans. Banjou snorts.

"Listen," says Kaneki. "If you cooperate in our investigation—which means telling us every last thing you know even if you don't think it'll be relevant—I will take Yuki to visit you in prison once a month. With Touka as a chaperone, because she's slightly more intimidating than me."

"Try a lot," Juuzou says.

"Hairu and I are still discussing whether we'll let Masanori join," Ui says. "If he wants to."

What the fuck.

"He still thinks what you did wasn't really 'fair,'" says Kaneki. "So I imagine he'll want to have words with you about that."

"If Touka's in the room, good luck trying to manipulate him," says Juuzou. "You don't want to die that way, let me tell you."

"Maybe eventually you'll find something productive to do with whatever life you have left," says Kaneki. "I do know what it's like to want to die."

Bullshit. You always had somebody. Nagachika, Kirishima, Arima. Somebody.

"Unfortunately, my kid made this for you," Kaneki adds, holding out a piece of paper with Get Well Soon written on it and the drawing of what is probably intended to be a clown.

That kid really cares, doesn't he?

Wait, no!

He can't grab it, not with his hands cuffed to this cot. Furuta averts his eyes, but it's too late. He sees Kaneki's eyes widen in surprise and the small smirk on Juuzou's face.

I hate all of you!

"I'll leave it here," Kaneki says.

"Tack it up on the wall," Juuzou suggests. "Though he's going back to prison in two days."

"He can take it with him," Ui suggests. "Put it where he can see it in the meantime."

"Does here work?" asks Kaneki, fixing it to the wall directly in front of him.

Furuta squeezes his eyes shut.

"Eh," says Banjou. "He'll open them eventually."


One month later

"How did it go?" Kaneki questions, rising to greet Touka as she enters :re.

"Fine," Touka says wearily. "Being in the same room as him still makes me uncomfortable, though." She wraps her arms around Kaneki.

Kaneki nods. "Did he act—"

"He's fine." Touka snorts. "He's trying so hard not to be too nice to Yuki, but he can't be mean because I'm there, and also because I think he kind of wants to be nice to Yuki. As much as he rolls his eyes about it."

"Well," Kaneki says, holding Touka tightly. "Yuki is pretty special."

"All okay?" calls Uta as he and Yomo enter the café. Kaneki gives a thumbs-up.

"Maybe I will let Masanori go with Yuki next time," Hairu allows. Kurona hurries past to turn the sign over the door to closed.

"We're back!" Yuki rushes through the door, chased by Seidou and Isamu, all giggling.

"Yuki, get out from behind the counter!" Touka hollers. "You'll burn yourself and then you won't be able to go to school tomorrow."

"Fine by Kaneki, I'm betting," teases Ayato as he slinks up next to them. Hinami rolls her eyes.

"No," Kaneki says honestly. "I think Yuki will like school." Even if I'll spend all day having a panic attack.

"He'll be reading War and Peace before he's twelve," predicts Takizawa, helping Nashiro off his shoulders. His sister leans against the glass window, a smile on her face.

Everyone's here.

"Well," says Kimi.

"Get on a table, Doctor," teases Nishiki.

"You should, Mommy!" calls Mie.

Kimi rolls her eyes. Nishiki vacates his chair as Kaneki's stomach rumbles. Kimi leaps onto it. "So as you all know, today's the day when all of your levels are finally showing that you now have the enzyme necessarily to digest human food."

"We're jealous," jokes Ryouko.

"You might not be if we all puke it up," mumbles Ayato, looking nervously at the plates set out on the counter. Yoriko made a huge batch of fried chicken, Chie bought a cheesecake, Kurona baked chocolate cupcakes with strawberry filling, and Hide grilled hamburger steaks. Juuzou has several tubs of ice cream and a box of donuts that Amon looks at in awe.

"It actually smells decent," Hinami comments, her hand laced with Ayato's. "Weird, though."

Tsukiyama peers at the food, practically salivating. Karren's nose wrinkles. Naki looks nervous, tugging at the sleeves of his white suit.

"You should feel free to try it," Kimi says. "It might taste—strange. That's to be expected, I think, but if you feel nauseated at all, please let me know."

"You probably won't," Nishiki says. "I've been eating it for the past two days and haven't been sick."

"What?" yelps Akira.

"Kimi said I could try and I wanted to! She made me start with a very rare cut of meat," Nishiki admits. "But that was good, so now I've had—let's see—milk, eggs, noodles—those have a weird texture—and pomegranate too." He looks at the pastries. "She said I couldn't try any sweets until everyone else could, though."

Mie giggles. "It's funny seeing Daddy eat Mommy's food."

"You can either have a donut, a cupcake, or ice cream," Urie tells Chiasa and Isamu.

"But everyone else gets to try everything," protests Chiasa.

"Everyone else hasn't eaten this kind of food before," Tooru reminds them. "Or at least in years."

"Also it's fairly normal not to like sweets," Urie says. "So you don't have to like everything."

"It's not normal," Saiko retorts.

Urie scowls. Tooru snickers.

"Dig in," Kimi says, sweeping her arms.

"Oh former One-Eyed-King," says Juuzou. "Go help yourself first."

"Me?" Kaneki takes a step back.

"Of all of us artificial half-ghouls," says Amon. "You've been deprived the longest. Have at it."

Not alone, though. Kaneki takes Touka's elbow and leads her to the counter. He hands her a plate. She copies him, taking a little of everything. Takizawa and Kurona follow, Amon only grabs donuts, Banjou stares at the food as if it's lumps of rocks, and Hinami gets Ayato a plate that he gawps at. Tsukiyama's plate overflows, while Karren's appears more plausible in terms of portion sizes. Miza plucks a little of everything for all of them, but Naki takes an extra cupcake because it "looks pretty." Tooru and Urie load up their plates, but Urie avoids the sweets.

"Ready?" asks Hide.

Touka selects a bite of Yoriko's chicken to try first. Kaneki chooses the hamburger steak. Both Hide and Yoriko peer at them. This is awkward.

Kaneki pushes it into his mouth, heart pounding. Please be okay. Even be tolerable…

A rich, salted taste fills his mouth. Can I—chew?

He does, and it tastes okay. Strange, different, but—

I like it.

He swallows and glances at Touka.

Her eyes bug.

"Are you okay?" asks Yoriko, wringing her hands.

"No, I'm—it's—I mean, yes." Touka grabs the cupcake. "It's good—these are—cake is amazing!"

"Donuts," moans Amon, practically in tears. Akira pats his head.

"So this is cheesecake," whispers Tsukiyama. "Trés bien! Magnifique! Have you ever tasted something so—"

"It's so cold!" Karren gasps as she digs her spoon through her ice cream.

"Wow," mumbles Ayato, eating more of Yoriko's chicken. "Hinami—"

"Try a donut," she encourages him, tearing one in half. She moans. "These are—"

"Careful not to eat yourself sick!" warns Kimi.

"Too late with this one," teases Karren, arm around her husband. Chie's camera clicks away.

"You are a good chef after all," Takizawa confirms, munching one of Kurona's cupcakes. "And I can finally assure you of that for real."

Kurona gulps a cup of coffee with cream. She kisses him quickly.

"I'm happy for you, Seidou," Seina says softly.

"Provided you don't get sick," Yomo says as Kaneki feeds Touka some of the hamburger steak. "Maybe we should try the medication after all, Uta."

"Maybe so," Uta says, watching everyone in surprise. Itori nods as if impressed.

Yoriko squeals, clapping her hands together. "I'm so happy you actually like it!" Takeomi beams at his wife.

"We love it!" shrieks Naki, thrusting his hand in the air. He dumps the rest of his plate over Miza, who yelps. "Oops!"

"I think we can get it to work for kids too," Kimi says. "Banjou and I have been playing around with dosages—"

"This is incredible," whispers Ui. Hairu offers them all pieces of a melon bun. Touka snatches it, cramming them into her mouth.

"Be careful if that happens," warns Tooru. "You might have to deal with this." He nods at Masanori, Seidou, Isamu, and Chiasa, who are all shrieking and jumping up and down, chocolate cupcakes smeared over their cheeks. "It's called a sugar high."

"And it results in tears," Urie remarks, watching with a pained expression. "Inevitably."

"Within a year," muses Juuzou as he piles a bowl of ice cream for himself and sticks a spoon in his mouth. "We might be able to advertise these treatments to all ghouls."

Kimi nods as Nishiki eats a croissant.

"I never thought I'd be able to eat this," Touka whispers.

And we're still young, Kaneki thinks as he watches Yuki chase Rose and Ryouko around.

What else can happen?

The possibilities seem endless.

Notes:

There, all wrapped up nice with a bow and a cheesecake. Thanks again to everyone for reading!

Notes:

Again, thanks for reading! This fic is also completed, and will be updated on days when I am not updating my other TG fic (so, three times a week.)

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