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Ka Momi O Home (The Journey Home)
The shrimp was some of the best he’d ever tasted- which was really saying something considering he grew up on the East Coast. The warm Hawaiian breeze blew gently across his face, the sun just starting to set over the gorgeous ocean, and the colors were absolutely amazing.
He’d been pretty messed up when he’d gotten on a plane to paradise. It’d been years since he’d been back, the last time being when he still worked in Baltimore. He used to come at least once a year, but the last time had ended on a rocky note and then, well, then he joined NCIS and stopped looking back.
He wondered sometimes what might have happened if he’d taken his lovers offer of moving in with him seriously. At the time he’d been young, caught up in his career and getting his detective badge. He couldn’t fathom leaving it behind and moving to the middle of the pacific, only to start over again- if he could even get a job at the Honolulu PD. Especially for a man who was a Navy SEAL and would be gone for months at a time. It was just... Not in the cards at the time.
His refusal hadn’t gone over extremely well, and things had gotten pretty tense between them. He knew it had taken a lot for Steve to work up the courage to ask him to move, he was a very stoic man and having emotional talks were rare and akin to pulling teeth. A wall had gone up when he’d said no, once he was unable to break through before he’d had to get on a plane back home.
The two had tried to keep up their long distance relationship, but something had felt different. Then, when everything with his partner blew up and he’d accepted a job at NCIS Steve had been deployed. It wasn’t until nearly two months after the fact that he’d called, and he hadn’t taken the news that Tony had uprooted and moved to DC any better than he had his denial to move to Hawaii.
It didn’t seem to matter that the move was a step up in his career or that the move was minute compared to crossing the ocean. He’d taken it as Tony not wanting to move to be with him, rather than the circumstances of the move. He’d gotten cold and quiet during that conversation and then the calls got further and further apart. He didn’t come and visit like he tried to do in-between deployments, and when he got sent out again he’d simply left a message on Tony’s home phone that he was shipping out, he didn’t know how long he’d be gone and to move on and forget about him.
Tony hadn’t been back to the islands since, and hadn’t really dated anyone seriously since then either. He’d tried, but he never found someone that clicked with him as well as Steve had. After everything that had gone down at NCIS over the past couple of years- Gibbs leaving and coming back, Ziva and McGee’s worsening attitude towards him, Abby covering up the fact that they’d shut of his communication and left him without back up while he was getting voice prints, it was all too much. He felt like, if he stayed, he would eventually end up dead or injured in the line of duty. He no longer trusted his partners to watch his six, and he just couldn’t pretend anymore.
It’d all come to head after the last case. It’d been terrible anyway- any cases involving dead children were, but this particular case had been a soldier with PTSD who had killed his wife, their three kids and then himself. They’d been called into investigate as a matter of course and what they had found was horrific. The three children were all under ten. They’d been asleep in their beds when it had started, but only the oldest child looked peaceful. The second child, who was all of seven, was found curled in the corner of his closet and, while the youngest was still in her bed, she’d been curled in a tight ball under the covers and the terrified grimace remained on her tiny little face even in death. The wife had been strangled in the kitchen, and the soldier was found dead in his armchair in the living room.
The scene was horrific and they could not be done processing it quickly enough. Still, it was a pretty open and shut case so thankfully hadn’t taken to much time. Tony had written his report as soon as they’d gotten to the office and finished the SFA paperwork immediately after. Ziva had not completed her report, despite the fact that she’d had most of the work day to do so.
When five o’clock came around and he tried to leave Gibbs had stopped him and informed him that he wasn’t allowed to leave until all the reports were in. Tony had to stop and had to take a breath. Gibbs knew Ziva had been screwing around all afternoon and hadn't done anything about it while it was happening. That he was now expecting Tony to stay after hours, despite having been working on cold cases himself for the past two hours, because she couldn't be bothered to do her own job was enough to ignite the fury that had been steadily building. Ziva hadn’t even looked upset at having to stay herself, but rather had a mocking little smirk on her face at the fact that Tony was expected to stay as well. Gibbs, as par for course, was packing up to leave himself.
Tony had sat back down until he and McGee left the office to pull up the letter of resignation that he already had written and saved on his computer. He dated it, printed it and then headed up to talk to the director. By the time he’d come back down the stairs, Ziva’s report was sitting on his desk and the woman herself was gone. He shook his head, moved it to Gibbs’ desk, along with his and McGee’s, and then started packing up his desk. As they had just finished a case, he did not see the point of giving two weeks’ notice and then potentially having his leave come in the middle of a case. Beyond that, he did not think he’d be able to keep a level head for two more weeks of shit.
He’d asked to use the two months of earned time instead, which the director had little choice but to accept. Once he was finished clearing his desk out he moved back over to Gibbs’ desk. He removed the spare key from his own key ring (left over from when he’d been team lead and had sat there himself), unlocked the bottom drawer and dropped the box of metals inside and then laid his service weapon and badge on top of it.
He stared down at it for several long moments, wondering if he would regret the choice he was making but the only thing he felt was a sense of relief at not having to deal with it anymore. He slid it shut silently, relocking it and then placing the key under the reports where it would be hidden from direct sight.
He’d gone home, purchased a plane ticket and had been boarding a plane at the time he normally went to the office. His phone was off and he was planning for it to remain that way, at least until he figured out what his next step would be. He had a slew of job offers in a box at home built up over the years, but with two months’ vacation time coming, he was not in a hurry to visit it.
That had been nearly two weeks ago and Tony was feeling better than he had in years. His skin was tan, his lungs felt damn near as good as they had before the plague and then the gloomy cold weather of DC. He was contemplating if he wanted to head back to his hotel or go for a walk when he was shaken out of his thoughts by a voice above him.
“Excuse me, do you mind if we sit here? The other tables are full.” Tony looked up to see a short and compact man standing near him, blond hair slicked back against the wind and Jersey accent clear in his voice.
“Oh, not at all. I was actually just getting ready to head out- tables all yours.” He shot a polite smile at the man and moved to pick up his garbage. He tossed it in the nearby can and then headed down the beach to enjoy the vibrant colors painting the sky.
He tucked his hands into the pockets of his shorts. His short sleeve white button up had the top and bottom two buttons undone and the breeze tugged at it as he walked. He ended up sitting just above the surf, elbows propped on his knees and content to remain that way for the next hour.
~*~*~*~
The next morning the peace continued as Tony set off for his morning run. It continued the next night, when he ate an amazing steak at an ocean front restaurant where the majority of the dining room was actually in front of the of the building, with only palm trees for a ceiling. It continued through the next three days as he hiked some of the most breathtaking trails in the world.
Despite that, Tony was feeling a little nostalgic at the familiar sights. All the trails he traveled to were ones Steve had shown him at one time or another. It was paradise, but everything about it reminded him of what he had let go, what he had pushed away. He wondered what his life would have been like if he’d moved to Hawaii all those years ago. Would they be married by now? Would they have broken up regardless?
Was he still in the SEALS? Was he deployed now? Was he on the island? He’d been thinking about the man more and more frequently over the past couple of days. He even thought he saw him at the market the night before, but when he’d turned to look again the man was gone. He told himself he was seeing things. When they’d been together, Steve spent less than a month out of the year on the island. It was very unlikely he was there now. That Tony had chosen Oahu of all the islands was because it was familiar to him, not for the miniscule chance he might stumble across his ex.
Still, he was starting to think it was time to move on again. The memories were starting to overpower the peace and that wasn’t something he wanted. He was thinking about hopping over to Maui or Kauai, seeing something different. He was reluctant to leave the islands all together, enjoying the weather too much to give it up when he still had almost six weeks of vacation time left before he needed to buckle down and make some life decisions.
At that moment, he was heading up the ten-mile trail that was Tantalus. It was still early, the sun just starting to brighten the day and the trail was still fairly deserted. It ran along a residential area, so some sounds of early life could be heard on the air. Still, it was peaceful, and absolutely stunning. He’d run the first three miles and could already feel the steep rise in elevation dragging on his muscles. Runners high was setting in the harder he pushed himself and he drove relentlessly onwards.
A sudden commotion could be heard off to his left, and he slowed his pace slightly without conscious thought. A gunshot split though the air, quickly followed by three more. Tony stopped completely, reaching for the gun that wasn’t there and trying to calm his racing heart and accelerated breathing.
He forced himself to count his breaths as he knelt under some shrubbery. A voice that was vaguely familiar broke through the resounding silence, even nature holding its breath. The high-pitched scream of a young girl split the air next as the commotion came closer to his hiding spot.
“Let her go, Nelson!” The vaguely familiar voice demanded sternly. “How do you think this is going to end?”
“No!” A hysterical voice shouted back, a mixture of rage and hopelessness vying for control. “Just stop following me! I’ll let her go once I know I’m free!”
“You know we can’t do! Look at her, Nelson! She’s a little girl and she has nothing to do with this!”
Another gunshot sounded then, and another as the man began running, dragging the girl behind him. Tony watched him break through the foliage and adjusted his position slightly. The sweat was still running freely down his face, but luckily his body had steadied under his tight control. He spent most of the time looking backwards, shooting every few seconds to try and buy himself time to get away. The little girl, he could see, was crying freely and struggling against the tight grip he had around her small wrists.
Fury surged through him at the sight, but he kept his body still, carefully. The man looked right over the top of him before he turned his head again. Tony counted down silently, tracking his rapid footsteps, and waiting for the exact right time. With his left arm holding his hostage, his right arm extended out and pointing his gun and his head turned to look behind himself, Tony made his move.
Not wanting to risk a wild shot if he struck the man outright, he instead lunged up and directly at his right wrist. The man shouted in shock, a shot firing up into the air with the movement. He reflexively let go of the girl, turning instead to return the sudden attack. The girl, luckily, turned and ran back the direction from which she came. The man cursed and struggled against him, but it only took a second to twist the gun from his grip and force him to the ground.
He didn't want to risk the man getting loose by trying to reach the gun, so he kept his hold instead. “Over here!” He shouted. “Don’t shoot, he’s disarmed!”
The blonde man from the shrimp truck game bursting through the shrubbery, gun out but aimed more towards the ground than at them. He moved closer cautiously and kicked the perp’s gun further away from the pair.
“Robert Nelson, you're under arrest for the murder of Emily Eden and Clarissa Smith.” The blonde growled as he easily secured both wrists from where Tony had them held behind his back. “Get up.” He demanded, pulling him roughly to his feet. Tony backed away and stood straight himself, taking a second to brush off the foliage that clung to his legs.
He began pushing the man in front of him out onto the openness of the trail. “You, come with me.” He commanded, looking squarely at Tony. Tony felt the sudden urge to salute the man and had to lock down on it, knowing the sarcastic edge it would have wouldn’t be appreciated in this particular situation. He followed obediently instead, feeling a little out of whack to be the civilian in the scenario.
They made their way down to a connecting road, where two cars were just pulling up. The first was a beautiful cherry red mustang and the second an aggressive silver Camaro. An obviously Hawaiian male and female exited the mustang and moved towards the man to take him from the blonde. Several police cars pulled up then, one of which held the little girl.
Tony was so busy watching the man being led to the car, he stopped paying attention to the second car. He did look back over when an incredulous voice called out his name. Hazel eyes met hazel and both men froze. Steve, well, Steve looked good. He wasn’t as lean as he had been the last time Tony saw him, but looked fit and heathier than ever. He was obviously older, but held himself in a way that seemed even older still.
The man was dressed in form fitting cargo pants, complete with two thigh holsters, and a tight black t-shirt under a bullet proof vest. A badge?! Of all things was clipped to his waistband. He felt a small flash of embarrassment at his own mussed basketball shorts, sweaty black tee and too long hair, which was currently plastered to his scalp from his earlier exertion. He shook it off. Steve had always been good looking, it made sense that his looks would have only increased with age and maturity.
“Steve.” He finally uttered back, after too many seconds had passed. The blonde was looking between them oddly.
“You two know each other?” He asked, looking at Steve for an answer.
“Uh, yea.” Steve replied, voice gravely. “What are you doing here, Tony?”
He opened his mouth to respond, but found himself at a rare loss of words. The fleeing murder suspect interrupting his run he could deal with, but having Steve be one of the responding officers was something he wouldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams.
“He got the drop on the perp.” The blond spoke up again in the lingering silence. “Which was very stupid by the way. What were you thinking, jumping him like that?” He demanded
“Danny.” Steve spoke up, cutting off his tirade. “Can you give us a second?”
“Can I- Are you serious right now, Steven?”
“Danny.” He said again, breaking eye contact with Tony to look over at the blonde. “Give us a second.” It was no longer a question and ‘Danny’ clearly heard that as well. He huffed slightly but turned and stalked over to the other officials bustling around and spreading out into the foliage to look for evidence.
“Tony, what are, why are… How did you get involved with my crime scene?” He finally settled on after seeming unable to finish his thought.
“Right place right time?... Or, wrong place, wrong time? I haven’t really decided yet.” He tried to joke, but the tension in his voice was clear. “I uh, I wasn’t expected to see you here. Was pretty sure you wouldn’t even be on the island.” He shrugged, running a hand through his mussed hair. ‘
Steve took a half step closer, reading between the lines. “Only pretty sure? You didn’t try and look me up before you came?”
“Uh no. I uh, just needed to get away for a bit. I’ve always,” he had to pause and clear his throat briefly, the word ‘loved’ not wanting break free in that moment. “I’ve always found it peaceful here.” He settled with.
“Yeah, but you could have picked any of the islands. You picked Oahu. Why is that?” he pressed.
“What, you don’t want me on your island?” He asked in return, the regret and bitterness buried deep under the words and barely audible.
Steve had always understood him better than anyone, however, and he picked up on it. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Look, I need you to come back to the Palace and answer some questions about all of this and then after, maybe we could catch up?” He sounded hopeful and Tony felt a tug at his heart.
“Yeah, um, yeah, that sounds good.”
“Great.” It looked like he might want to say something else, but turned and walked back towards the cars instead. Tony followed slowly as they headed over to the group of three standing in front of the cherry mustang, arms crossed and clearly waiting for Steve. As Danny pulled him aside to have a whispered conversation, Tony walked around the hood of the car.
“This is a gorgeous car.” He stated finally, looking up at the Hawaiian who had been driving it. “Is it a ’66?” At the mans silent nod he continued. “V6 or 8?”
“V8.”
Tony hummed. “Nice. 289 HiPo engine?”
“Yeah.” The man said, sounding more intrigued. “How did you know?”
“Oh, lucky guess. I actually thought about getting one of these myself, but ended up going with the ’69 boss 429.” He finished with a smile.
“Oh, no way brah!” He exclaimed. “That car’s really rare! I heard one went to auction a few years back. Was that you?”
“Nah.” He laughed. “Didn’t that car go for like, 400,000? No, uh, an old family friend hooked me up.”
“Nice!”
“I’m pretty happy with it.”
“I’d love to see it. Is it around?”
“No, its actually back in storage in DC. I’m just here on a vacation of sorts.”
“Ah, bummahs.”
“Are you two finished?” The woman standing to the side spoke up, cutting through the conversation. She had a small smirk on her face though, so she obviously wasn’t too annoyed. “I’m Kono, by the way. This gear head is my cousin, Chin Ho.”
“Tony DiNozzo.”
“So you know the bossman?” She asked conversationally.
“Used to, anyway. Haven’t been in touch for years. I didn’t know he’d left the Navy.” He phrased the last statement as a question, hoping to get an answer to at least one of his silent musings.
The man in question walked over before she could respond, the blonde following behind him. His eyes seemed to linger on Tony for a second too long before he pulled them away. “We’re ready to head out. Meet back at headquarters?”
The two nodded in agreement and moved to get back in the car. Steve turned to him and nodded his head at the Camaro. “You can ride with us.”
“Uh. Actually, my rental is down at the bottom of the trail head.”
“We’ll make sure you get it later. We need you to come down and answer some questions first.”
He thought about arguing the point, but decided it wasn’t worth it. He could always take a cab back if things went south after the official interview was finished. He’d left his wallet back in his hotel room, but if worst came to worst, it was only about twenty miles back to his hotel from the car. He’d trekked longer distances before. He settled on shrugging and moved into the back seat as directed.
The first couple of minutes passed in silence. Tony settled on looking out the window and ignoring the eyes he could see from his peripheral vision watching him through the rear view mirror. It was Danny that broke it, as they hit the main road and merged with traffic. “So how do you two know each other?” He questioned, twisting in his seat so he could see both of them.
“Senior liked to vacation here when I was a kid. Steve and I met one year while I was here and we kept in touch. It was actually his dad that introduced us. How is John?” He asked turning to his ex. He’d been fairly close to the old man, even before he and Steve had gotten together and there’d be times over the years that he wished he could still go to the man for advice. He saw Steve’s jaw clench but the man didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if it was just the topic of conversation or something more, but he decided not to push. Danny side-eyeing him from the passenger seat helped reinforce that he should drop the subject as well.
The silence stretched again, more uncomfortable this time, and lasted until they parked. When he did speak up, the only thing he said was “Follow me,” and then turned and walked into the building. They ended up outside an interview room, where Tony was directed to enter alone and then the door closed behind him.
“Really?” He said to the empty room, before sighing and moving to take the uncomfortable steel chair. As one hour turned to two, he moved to lay flat on the steel table, knees drawn up and the tread of his shoes keeping his legs in place comfortably. His elbows were lain comfortably on the table, with his hands resting loosely on his stomach. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift. He didn’t fully fall asleep- it was only about ten in the morning after all, but he was able to lose track of time.
The door opening some time later caused his eyes to blink open. He let his legs drop over the edge and used the motion to pull his body into a sitting position. Surprisingly it wasn’t Steve that entered, but Danny. “Sorry about the wait.” He said somewhat unconvincingly. “Had some loose ends to tie up.”
Tony didn’t respond but did slide off the table and moved to retake the hellish seat. Danny sat across from him and set a file on the table before him. “This interview will be recorded. If you would like to say anything off the record, do so now.” He stated, setting a small black speaker on the table between. He shook his head and Danny pushed the button on the device. A red light appeared.
“Please state your full name and date of birth for the record.”
“Anthony Dominic DiNozzo Jr., born July 8th, 1971.”
“Please give your versions of the events that led to you restraining suspect Robert Nelson earlier today on April 7th, 2011.”
Very much used to the procedure, Tony have a recap of what happened, making sure to include off the details that could help with the case. When he was finished, the detective made an appreciative face and stated, “Thank you.” In lieu of asking any follow up questions on the story itself.
“What brought you to Hawaii, Agent DiNozzo?”
“Ah, technically it’s Mr. DiNozzo. I’m somewhat between jobs at the moment, agent status temporarily revoked.” He joked with a crooked smile. “But to answer your question, I am here to figure out my next direction in life. It’s been a while since I’ve visited.”
The man frowned slightly, opening the file he’d brought with him into the room. “Your file has you listed as an active agent. We contacted your Director Vance to ensure you were not here as part of an operation. He informed us you were on personal leave, but didn’t mention anything about you no longer being employed there. Care to explain that?” He looked back at Tony, tilting his head and waiting.
Tony frowned at him in return. “I’d love to, but I’d need an explanation myself before I could. I submitted my letter of resignation to the Director on March 23rd. I should not still have agent status.”
Just then, the detectives phone rang. He held up a hand, reached out to pause the recording at answered it with a simple “Yeah,” clearly knowing who was on the other side. He frowned at whatever was being said but said they were on their way and hung up. “Come with me, DiNozzo. It seems you have a phone call.”
He frowned in confusion first, but quickly realized if they’d spoken to Vance it was very likely his location had spread through the agency already. He followed resignedly, not expecting to have to answer to anyone from NCIS until he was back on the mainland. In fact, he’d kept his phone off and batter removed since the airport, after withdrawing a substantial amount of money from his savings account so that he could pay for everything with cash.
Still, he followed obediently behind as the detective lead him to a large room filled with high tech equipment and surrounded with glass offices. He swept his eyes around the room quickly before locking on the large screen mounted to one wall. The man on the screen was the last person he would have expected, but he was a little amused to see Steve standing at attention off to the side.
“Sir?” He asked, walking to stand directly in front of the image.
The older man looked up from what he had been focusing on his desk.
“Ah, DiNozzo. Vacation treating you well?” He asked, setting down his pen and folding his hands in front of him as he settled more comfortably into his chair.
“I can’t complain. I have to ask what this is about, I’m a little surprised to hear from you, Sir.”
“Yes, well, I attempted to contact you upon hearing of your resignation, but when I realized you had disappeared without your phone and without leaving a paper trail, I decided to wait until you turned up on your own. Becoming involved in a murder investigation counts as turning up.”
Tony smiled self-deprecatingly. “It seems to be my curse.”
Jarvis smirked in return before drawing himself up. “I was disappointed when LeonF informed me of your resignation. I thought you would have a successful career within NCIS. Can I ask what drove you to this decision?”
“It was a combination of things.” He answered simply, not trying to explain himself or disparage his old team. “I just feel that it’s time for me to move on.”
“And have you accepted any other job offers?”
“Not yet. I decided to take a vacation before deciding what I want to do next. Clear my head.”
“I see. In that case, I would like to offer you an additional option to consider. I have had your resignation paperwork held until the end of your vacation hours and have declared you as being on personal leave. Currently, the Naples Branch is in need of an Assistant Director, the Singapore Field Office is looking for a leader of the MCRT and the Peral Harbor Field Office is looking for the same. If you stay with NCIS, you can have your pick.” He finished, spreading his hands in emphasis. “Though, if you choose Singapore you will have to learn Malay. With your background in Mandarin, I have faith you can accomplish it.”
Tony froze for several long seconds. “That’s a very generous offer, Sir.” He finally managed.
“I’m going to be blunt with you DiNozzo. You are one of our agencies best assets, and I would hate to lose you. Especially if you follow Tom over to Homeland Security, or worse- if you took Tobias up on his offer to join the Feebs.” He grimaced at him and Tony laughed in response.
A knock drew Jarvis’ attention away from the screen and he nodded at someone. “Look, I have a meeting to get to. Think about it. I’ll be in touch.”
“Thank you, Sir.” He responded before SecNav broke the connection. Still, he continued to look at the blank screen, mind racing with the possibilities. He’d wondered what might have happened if he’d accepted the promotion in Rota, but he had known that the time wasn’t right for him to leave. Now though? He hadn’t considered staying at NCIS, not expecting to be offered another placement like that for years, if it all. And to have three options? A straight advancement to assistant director in Italy, or going back to team lead in Asia or Hawaii. He could move to Hawaii. The thought flashed through his mind but he pushed it down. If the conversation with Steve later went badly, the last thing he’d want to do is move to the island.
With that in mind, he turned to look at the others in the room. It was still quiet, all three of them watching him with various expressions on their faces. His eyes were drawn to Steve, as much as he tried to stop it, and he thought for a moment that Steve might have had that same thought. Their eyes locked for a long moment, and Steve was the one to look away. Tony didn’t blame him, he knew he’d hurt the other man and it’d been so long they might both be completely different people. It was ridiculous to be thinking of it at this point and Tony almost wished Jarvis had waited to offer it. It might have been an easier decision if he knew how things were going to play out.
He cleared his throat. “So, were there any more questions, or am I free to go?” He asked. Steve looked at Danny to answer.
“You can go. But we need your contact information, and you can’t leave the island until the investigation is concluded.”
Steve stepped forward. “I’ll give you a ride back to your car.”
They were silent again as Steve led him out to a huge blue truck, and Tony was getting really sick of silence. When the truck started up he was surprised to see it was nearly three in the afternoon. His stomach grumbled and the hunger he’d been ignoring came back with a vengeance. He hadn’t eaten anything yet today and he was definitely feeling it.
Steve glanced over at him and then down at the clock himself. He grimaced a bit. “We can stop and get some food on the way. Sorry you were there so long, the wind up took longer than I expected it to.”
Tony shrugged it off. “Was the girl ok?” He asked instead.
“Oh yeah, she’s fine. Happy to be back home.”
“That’s good.” He trailed off again. “So, how have you been?” He asked eventually.
Steve glanced over at him again and shrugged. “I’ve been okay. You?”
Tony laughed slightly at the non-response. “Yeah. I’ve been okay too. So you left the Navy? I wouldn’t have expected that.”
“Reserves.” He grunted out, before taking a break and continuing. “Some stuff went down and the governor offered me a place leading the task force she was creating. I accepted and transferred to the reserves. That was about three years ago.”
“And you’re happy with that?” He couldn’t help but ask. The frequency Steve was deployed was one of the deciding factors in his refusing to move to the island. Despite that, he couldn’t imagine asking the man to give that up. He loved being in the Navy, loved being a SEAL and Tony couldn’t imagine him grounded.
“Yeah, actually. The job we do here is important. We’ve helped a lot of people.”
“Yeah.” Tony agreed.
“And you left NCIS?” Steve asked after a minute, as he pulled into the parking lot of the same shrimp truck he’d unknowingly met Danny at before. He wondered if Steve had been there that night, if he was part of the “we” Danny had mentioned.
“I did. Or, well, I thought I did. Now I’m not so sure.”
“That was some offer.” He commented.
“It was. I wasn’t expecting it.”
“Lot to think about.” He turned the truck off but didn’t move to get out.
“Yeah.”
“C’mon.” he reached out to casually knock against Tony’s knee with the side of his hand. “My treat.” He unbuckled and exited, and so Tony did the same, ignoring the sensation he could still feel thrumming through his leg.
They moved over to the window, the time of day leaving a small line to navigate.
“Hey, Kamekona, two plates of the spicy shrimp, please.” He said, pulling his wallet from his pocket.
“Whow.” The large man joked, reaching to accept the money. “I didn’t even know you had a wallet, braddah.”
“You’re hilarious.” He responded drolly, moving away to take a seat at the table furthest away from the other guests.
“Don’t tell him I said so,” Steve began once they were seated, “But this is some of the best shrimp on the island.”
“I ate here a few days ago. I actually saw Danny, ironically enough.”
“Oh yeah? When was that?”
Tony thought back for a second. “Uh, Wednesday? At dusk.”
“Huh, must have just missed you then.”
“Must have.” He agreed.
They made small talk for the next couple of minutes until a slightly smaller but similar looking man brought them their plates. “Thanks, Flippa.” Steve said.
“Enjoy, braddah!”
“You must eat here a lot.” Tony observed as they dug in. He moaned slightly at the taste, wanting to savor it more but his stomach wasn’t having it and he ate several bites in quick succession.
“Kamekona and Flippa are Ohana.”
“Speaking of, you never answered about John. I was thinking about stopping in on him before I leave. Do you think he would mind?”
Steve froze, bite halfway to his mouth. He lowered the fork instead and took a breath. “Tony, my dad is dead. He was murdered three years ago.”
Tony felt his face pale and felt cold. “God, Steve, I’m so sorry. Three years- was that part of the stuff that went down?”
Steve nodded silently, jaw clenched and knuckles white from the tight grip he had on the fork. Tony reached out and touched the hand lightly. Steve looked up at him. “I really am sorry.” He had to swallow tightly to get the words out. “John was one of the best men I’ve met. The world is worse off without him.”
Steve’s face contorted and he looked back down at his plate. “Yeah.” He finally agreed. “He loved you, you know. Told me letting you go was the worst mistake of my life.”
“I loved him too.” He said, voice tight.
“He didn’t have to tell me though, you know? I already knew.”
It took Tony a second to unscramble his brain to catch the meaning, but when he did his breath caught. Steve still wasn’t looking at him and was clearly finished speaking.
Tony chose to take another bite as he thought over his response, and was happy to see that Steve went back to eating too.
They were both finished before Tony spoke up again. “I second guessed myself after I turned you down. I rolled everything over in my head so much it about drove me crazy. I…” He licked his lip and steeled himself. “I loved you.” His voice was quiet and somber. “I don’t know what I was expecting to happen, maybe I thought things could just stay the same. When you started to pull away I figured you just needed time. I thought things would get back to normal. When you were deployed and told me not to wait for you, I was beside myself. I was for months actually. I didn’t, I wouldn’t, even know if you were killed in action. I wouldn’t have the right to know. That was hard, even when I found out you were back on American soil. I kept hoping you might try to call or get a hold of me, but at the same time I couldn’t bring myself to try and call you.”
Steve let out a bitter laugh of his own. “I wish you would have.” He said simply.
“Yeah, so do I.” he whispered back.
Their eyes met again. “Do you want to go for a walk?” Steve asked, gesturing towards the beach.
“Sounds good.”
They stood together, tossing away their garbage and ambling into the sand side by side. They’d made it quite a ways down the beach before they spoke again.
“So,” Steve started, pausing to turn towards the water. “Are you seeing anyone?” He didn’t turn to look at him, seeming to steel himself for the next part of the conversation.
Tony moved to stand beside him, hands tucked into the pockets of the shorts. “No, I’m not. You?”
“No.”
Steve took a deep breath. “How much longer are you on ‘vacation’ for?”
“About five weeks.”
“And how long do you think you’ll have before Secretary Jarvis wants an answer?”
“Hard to say. A week, maybe?”
Steve turned towards him suddenly, stepping right into his space, seeming larger than life and holding his entire focus. “Then give me a week.” He demanded passionately.
“What?” Tony asked, taking an aborted half step back in surprise.
“Give me a week to convince you.”
“Convince me to what? To take the Pearl Harbor job?” He asked incredulously.
“Yes. No, seriously, think about it. So maybe the time wasn’t right for us before. You were focused on your career and I was wrapped up in the SEALs. We just, kept missing each other. But now, I’m back on the island full time and your career can bring you here. We’re both single, we’ve both matured. This might be it, Tony.”
Tony stared at him, unable to dispute anything he was saying. And if he were honest with himself, it was everything he wanted to hear. But to actually hear it, to actually be standing in front of the man that stalked his every waking thought for months after they broke up, it was intimidating.
He could see Steve start to shut down as the silence drug on and it wasn’t what he wanted. The other man had put himself out there for Tony before and been denied. He never expected the man to do it again, to give him the time of day, and yet here he was, asking for a second chance. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he hurt the man again. He knew he needed to work past is own issues, knew his trust issues were enough to topple an elephant but he had to try. It was Steve, he was worth… everything. He gave up on trying to find the right words and stepped forward instead. He did not allow himself to hesitate any more as he leaned up to cross the slight gap in their height and pressed his lips cautiously against the weather chapped ones before him.
Steve moved forward to grasp his hips, holding onto him tightly and clenching his eyes shut. He returned the chaste kiss, and the one after, and the one after that. They stood there for several long moments, reveling in the closeness and honestly both a little afraid to pull back and end the moment.
When they finally did, they didn’t go far. Steve pressed his forehead to Tony’s and breathed deep. “Give me a week. I promise I can be better.” He pleaded a final time in a whisper, pulling back to press his lips against Tony’s sun-lightened hairline.
Tony nodded. “A week.” He agreed. His lips stretched into a happy smile. He pressed hips lips to Tony’s once again, quickly, and then pulled away to grab his hand. He began pulling him back towards his truck and Tony followed with a relieved laugh.
“Where are we going?” He asked, quickening his pace to catch up.
“I’m taking you back to your car. Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow? No, not really.”
“Great. So I’ll take you back to your car, and then you should have an early night. Tomorrow is going to be a big day.”
“Is it?” He asked, amusement growing. Some people would be annoyed at how quickly Steve could turn a goal into a muli-step mission, complete with sub-goals and parameters, but it had always been something that Tony found endearing.
“Yeah.” He replied happily, forging ahead. “It’s gonna be great.” They reached the parking lot much quicker than it had taken them to get to their spot and Steve ignored the looks he received from several people at the shrimp stand. Tony nodded to Steve’s team as they passed them, but didn’t think the other man had noticed their presence.
They went directly to his truck and he started it and pulled out immediately. Tony sat back and enjoyed the view and the peaceful feeling coursing through him. They pulled into the small parking area at the trail head. Steve shut off his truck, unbuckled his seat belt and twisted in his seat to face Tony. His focused energy softened as he looked at him and he leaned forward slowly for a long, drawn out kiss.
Tony pulled back eventually and smiled at him. “I’m going to head back to my hotel and let you work out whatever little scheme is churning around in your head right now. You know where I’m staying, I’ll be in my room whenever you’re ready.”
Steve’s lips rolled in as an attempt to stop the sappy smile he could feel coming. He nodded, forcing back the words that he felt bubbling up. It was definitely too soon for that, but the other man was just so damn perfect. He wouldn’t let him go this time. He refused. He pecked his lips one more time and then turned back in his seat and started the truck.
Tony got the hint and opened his door with a laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stated, and it felt so good to say it.
“Tomorrow.” Steve repeated with a grin. Tony shut the door and Steve took off immediately. He headed back to his rental and made his way back to the hotel. He indulged in a lengthy swim in the hotel pool and then retired to his room. He ordered room service, enjoyed a glass of scotch as desert and watched one of his favorite movies before retiring early. The combination of the crazy day and the scotch allowed him to call asleep quickly, despite his anticipation.
Lucky he did, because he was awaken at just past three in the morning by knocking on his door. He sat up and rubbed his eyes as he stumbled out of the bed. He pulled his boxer briefs and t-shirt on from where they rested on the chair beside the bed and then made his way across the room. He pulled the door open as he was ruffling his hair and squinted out into the brightness of the hallway. “Steve?” He mumbled, standing aside. “It’s three in the morning. What’s going on?”
The man flipped the light on mercilessly and then pressed a kiss to his forehead. He also pressed a large hot travel cup of coffee into his hand. “Get dressed, it’s time to go.”
“What?” He repeated helplessly, taking it automatically and bringing it to his face to smell. The smell was amazing and the scalding sip he took even more so. It was perfect, sweetened with hazelnut exactly the way he liked. His eyes popped open with the thought. “You remember how I take my coffee?” he asked amazed.
“Of course I do.” He brushed it off like it was a given. He hid the resulting smile behind the cup, suddenly feeling much more awake and energetic. He moved to the dresser and pulled open a drawer.
“What should I wear?” He asked over his shoulder.
“Swim trunks and a tee are good.”
He grabbed a pair of black trunks and a white one of the light weight, short sleeve button ups he preferred over t-shirts. He moved to the bathroom to perform his morning absolutions and to take a quick shower to finish waking up. He exited the room ten minutes later, much more prepared and looking forward to whatever it was they were doing. He reclaimed his coffee, happy to note it had cooled to a more agreeable temperature and sat to pull on his shoes. He tucked his sunglasses into his shirt for later and stood.
Steve hustled him out the door and down to his truck. The roads were nearly deserted at the hour and they made great time in heading to the harbor. Steve parked and hopped out. Tony followed as he led him to a boat docked nearby. “Is this your boat?” He asked the man as they boarded.
“Nah, it belongs to Chin’s uncle. He lets me take it out when it’s docked and he’s on the mainland right now.”
“Oh, nice.” He replied, allowing Steve to press him down into a seat and prepare to set off. “Do you need help with anything?”
“No, everything is pretty much ready. I was here before I came to get you.”
Tony looked over at him in surprise. “Did you sleep at all last night?” he asked jokingly.
“I slept a bit.” The man replied, unfazed and focused on his task.
Tony raised his brow but didn’t press. Savoring another slow sip of his coffee as they pressed out into the open water. Once they were clear, Steve increased the speed so that they were moving at a fair pace through the calm water, lit by the full moon and stars above. “It’s gonna be about a three-hour trip, so get comfortable.” Steve called to him over the sound of the rushing air.
Tony nodded and settled in to finish the cup. Once it was finished he rose to join Steve at the wheel. He stood beside him, looking ahead and breathing in salty air. He looked up to see Steve watching him and smiled in reply, stepping slightly closer. In response, he let go of the wheel with his right arm and used it to pull the slightly smaller man in front of him. He reached forward to grab the wheel, remembering the last time they had been in a similar position. Steve let go completely and wrapped both arms around him as well, holding him tightly to his chest and trusting Tony to keep them moving in a straight line.
They stood that way for the next two hours. When an island appeared in the distance Steve reluctantly let go to take back control of the wheel and maneuver them through the reefs to shore. Once anchored, he moved to the small dingy secured to the back of the boat and held out his hand to help Tony step down.
Tony had spent a lot of time on boats as a kid and didn’t need the hand, but he took it regardless. They sped the rest of the way to shore as the first rays of color began to spread across the sky. “We’re not there quite yet.” Steve explained, shouldering his backpack and drawing them further inland. They climbed quickly and Tony was grateful for all the running and hiking he’d been doing since arriving since he wasn’t sure he’d have been able to keep up with the fit specimen setting the pace a month ago.
The small animal trail they followed broke free of the tree cover to expose a rocky outcropping that looked out over the ocean. They slowed to a stop and Steve quickly dropped to open his backpack. He pulled out a small blanket and spread it over the ground. He gestured to Tony, who to a seat as directed. Steve seated himself immediately after and began pulling other things from the bag. They ended up with a variety of fruits, nuts and a small block of cheese spread between them. Following that, he removed a plastic container of fresh squeezed orange juice and a thermos that apparently had more of the wonderful coffee. He also removed a knife from the pocket of his own swim trunks.
The crazy journey, early hike and impromptu picnic coupled with the sunrise they now had a prime view of was such a Steve date that he felt choked up. They sat together, nibbling on the fresh breakfast and sipping liquid magic as they watched the sun rise over the small, uninhabited island.
When they were finished and the sun had fully risen, they stood and packed up the mess. They headed further inland, though descending rather than climbing. They walked for a good two hours, the air warming around them, before they reached their destination. They eventually came to a waterfall that must have risen a couple hundred feet and formed a large pool where it fell.
Steve dropped the backpack then, moving to pull his shirt over his head. He toed off his shoes and socks and then jumped into the water without a word. Tony watched him fondly and followed more slowly. He seated himself on the edge of the pool rather than jumping in and enjoyed the sight of Steve cutting through the water like a human shaped fish. Steve popped up in front of him and wrapped chilly hands around his still dry back of his knees. He jumped at the sensation and Steve used the movement to pull him into the water.
Tony gasped as the cool water surrounded his exertion warmed flesh and found himself clinging to the other man with his legs wrapped around his hips and arms around his strong shoulders. Steve wrapped his arms around him in return with a laugh. His eyes were sparkling when they met and Tony could see the same disbelieving joy he felt himself to be in the situation.
Tony darted forward to peck the side of his mouth and then used his legs and a wiggle of his body to twist Steve down and under the water. He swam away with a laugh but was nowhere near the swimmer that Steve was and he was caught quickly.
They stayed in the pool until they started to feel hungry again and then packed up and headed back to the beach. When the reached the dingy, Steve moved to free the waterproof bag that was submerged at the side of it. From it came the makings for sandwiches, along with a bag of fresh veggies and a plastic bottle of ice tea. They ate on the beach and then spent the afternoon snorkeling along the rocky coves surrounding them.
When they were finally ready to head back, they were both ready to settle down and relax. The trip home progressed in much the same way as the trip out had and the two men felt much more settled and comfortable with each other. It almost felt as if the last decade hadn’t existed, and they slipped back into familiarity they’d had all those years ago.
Logically, Tony knew it was foolish to fall back in so quickly, but it just felt so natural. The sun was setting when they reached the marina and they leisurely made their way back to the truck. They stopped for food on the way back to his hotel and ate in the truck. Steve walked Tony to his room, but did not try and enter.
He pressed him back against the door and nuzzled his face into the crook of Tony’s neck. “I have to go into work for a few hours tomorrow to make up for taking today off. Would you want to come to my place for grilled steaks and a movie?” He asked from his resting place.
Tony smiled and nuzzled him back slightly. “That sounds perfect.” Steve pulled back to place a slow, leisurely kiss on his lips.
“Do you remember how to get there?”
“Yeah, I should be okay. What time do you want me to come?
“Humm, how about four?”
“I’ll be there.” He promised.
~*~*~*~
Dinner the next night went just as well. Tony arrived promptly at 4:00, chilled six pack in hand. They spent the time that the food was cooking in comfortable conversation and ate on the lanai. After dinner they moved inside and watched Pulp Fiction. When that one was over they watched A Beautiful Mind and then Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The following day Steve’s team caught a case and he was busy until late. Luckily, they closed it quickly and he was free on Saturday. Tony traveled to Steve’s house again and was surprised to see the silver Camaro out front. He shrugged it off and knocked on the door.
It was opened seconds later and Steve’s smiling, if tired, face greeted him. “What’s all this?” Steve asked, leaning forward to talk half the bags and to press a kiss against his hairline.
“I figured you’d be tired after how late your case whet. Thought I’d cook you dinner tonight. But if you have company, I can come back another time?”
“Uh, no Danny just came over to watch the basketball game. Warriors vs Cavaliers. I can ask him to leave if you want?” He paused and shook his head. “No question, I’ll tell him.” He turned and started to head to the living room but Tony stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“It’s fine. Plenty of food for three, if you don’t mind?”
The smile Steve shot at him showed that he clearly didn’t have a problem with that. “Nah. Danny’s around a lot, it’ll be good for you guys to get to know each other. You know, outside of an investigation.”
“Ha ha.” Tony said in response, moving towards the kitchen.
“So what’d you bring?” Steve asked eagerly, trying to peer into the bags.
“Well I know how you feel about pasta, so I went with Chicken Cacciatore, stuffed tomatoes and a fresh salad, and then Zabaglione with berries for dessert.”
“Mmmm” he moaned in response. “I’ve missed your cacciatore.” He said, setting the bags on the counter.
“Ordered it at a restaurant once, but it wasn’t close to the same. Haven’t tried since.”
Tony turned to look at him in amusement. “That’s sweet.” He teased, moving closer.
“Mmmm” he hummed leaning down for a real kiss now that both of their hands were empty. “Hi.” He said when he pulled back.
“Hi, yourself.” Tony replied with his hand resting on the taller man’s chest.
“STEVE! GAMES STARTING!” The Jersey native shouted from the other room.
“Go ahead, I’ll be out in a few.”
“Ok.” He said easily, leaning forward for one more kiss. “Holler if you need anything.”
Tony got the cold ingredients put away, it being too early to start cooking, and then joined the two men in the living room. Danny was sitting in the chair and Tony took the seat beside Steve on the couch.
“Agent DiNozzo.” The detective greeted him when he sat. “Good to see you again.”
“Ah, please, call me Tony.” He replied with a friendly smile.
“Danny.” He said in reply, before his attention was drawn back to the television and he started yelling at the game. The evening passed amicably. Tony eventually made his way back to the kitchen to start cooking, and once the game was over the other two men joined him. They settled on the bar stools and accepted the glasses of wine that Tony handed them. The conversation started talking about the game, but quickly moved onto a number of other subjects. Though Tony was from Long Island and not Jersey, the found they still had a lot in common.
They finished the first bottle of wine before the food was ready, and the bottle of Chianti Classico with the food. They moved back to the living room for the Zabaglione and the bottle of Vin Santo. By the time they were finished, all three were a little tipsy and Steve commanded both to sleep at his house.
Without fully realizing it, Tony wound up stripped to his briefs and laying in Steve’s bed. It was the scent that was getting to him the most- the combination of Steve’s shampoo, aftershave and cologne were embedded in the fabric and when Steve gathered him up in his arms the familiarity and longing that resounded though him was so intense he didn’t think he could stand it.
It was silent for a long time and Tony thought the other man had fallen asleep. He was surprised when he spoke up, voice barely audible despite the quiet of the night. “Are you awake?” He whispered against his head. Tony forced his breathing to remain even and his body relaxed.
“I didn’t know if was possible to miss someone so much until you left. I know it was stupid to ask you to move here when I was hardly ever even here myself. It was selfish, and I don’t blame you for saying no. But I love you so much, even still, I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes. I’ve tried to move on, to date other people, but no one compares. You’ve spoiled me for everyone else. However this goes, however it ends, you’re it for me, babe. There’s never going to be anyone else as perfect for me as you are.” He stopped talking and pressed his lips against Tony and breathed in deep.
The next day, when Tony was back in the privacy of his hotel room, he called SecNav and accepted the Pearl Harbor posting. He hadn’t told Steve yet, and he wasn’t sure exactly how it was all going to play out, but he was sure he wanted to stay. He wanted to give him and Steve another chance. And when he hung up the phone and felt all the lingering stress of the team back in DC, and having to return to the mainland and his empty apartment, and go through job offers so that he could start his life all over- again, He felt like he was coming home, and it was a feeling he’d been looking for all his life.
*~*~*~*
END