Chapter Text
Hello, it's me crepuscule - I dont know if anyone even looks at this fic or even thinks of this fic but it's been on my mind for the past few weeks and as a form of closure, I wanted to put out a chapter on what is going on and unfortunately that this story will never be finished.
First of all, I am still very much an ARMY but when I first started this fic, I really enjoyed reading textfics, they were cute and fun to read and quick but I greatly underestimated the amount of work needed to format them, bold this, make a space here which did honestly suck some of the motivation out of me. I don't have a good excuse as to why I never finished this or got around to it but I am in a better place mentally right now that I realise that as much as I would have loved to finish this fic, I won't be able to but it bothered me to leave it like this - so, I decided to do an update on what would have happened in this story
- this fic was born during the fic era of when jk was massively portrayed as a self centred dick to put it lightly, I wanted this fic to kind of reflect that time where people assumed jk was the one in the wrong, when it was more complex, there was no "tae is right, jk is wrong" but there was supposed to be a challenge on who is in the right here? is there even a right person here?
- as much as this was a taekook fic, I wanted to key theme to be about being a closeted member of the lgbt community and interacting with other members of the community and the variety of backgrounds there could be. jk came from a very conservative family so he struggles a lot more with verbalising his queerness which can be hard to understand from other members who came from a much more welcoming background, they could sympathise but they could never empathise (hence, the discord between jk and other members where jk likes tae but couldn't act on it)
- one thing I very much wanted to happen was the last sentence of this fic to be jk sending a message in the group chat simply saying "I'm gay", I wanted this fic to be showing growth for him to be accepting of his sexuality even if he never comes out to his family because ultimately, that is fine, and growth of the members to understand what it's like being in the closet and how to support him
- yoonkook were always going to be a very brotherly duo, yg was going to be the first one jk fully reveals how his family act around gay media/people and that's why he is protective of jk and more understanding as to why jk doesnt act on his feelings even if it frustrates the others
- I wanted there to be some stupid miscommunication/stupid decisions, I wanted angst like tae flirts with people to make jk jealous, jk runs away, heart to hearts, I wanted it all but I couldn't write it
- I did not want stereotypical jealous boy jk though, I wanted these feelings to be less about the crush and more about jk being closeted
- I never really decided how far down the angst rabbit hole I wanted to go down, but I did want this fic to have arguments and people taking sides, I wanted to talk about mental health and therapy, I wanted tae and jk to fall out but reconcile, the members to reach out to each other and offer condolences and support
im not sure if anyone is still reading this but I had to do this update as closure for myself too. I am sorry if somehow this fic was still on someone's mind even after 4 years but I hope this update offers a little bit of closure. maybe one day I'll write a full fic, I have ideas and ideas, but I have learnt to finish the fic first before putting that burden on me. if anyone wants to rewrite this fic, please go ahead, just tell me so I can live vicariously through you.
once again, I am sorry for never finishing this - thank you for all the support you gave me during the short time it was active.