Work Text:
"Let's get married."
Rodolphus quickly abandoned his attempts to do up his trousers and turned back to Bellatrix, who was still on the bed.
"What?" he asked bluntly.
Bellatrix laughed.
"Let's get married," she repeated.
There was a brief pause.
"Are you serious?"
She nodded.
"I don't love you," Rodolphus said slowly.
"Nor I, you," she said. "But the sex is good, and you can cook and clean better than I ever could."
"So…why would we get married?" he asked.
Bellatrix sat up, clutching the covers to her chest, and sighed.
"Because Andromeda just ran off with a Mudblood and my parents are going to pick a husband for me if I don't hurry up and do it myself," she said. "And I'd rather share a home with you than with some bloke who thinks a woman should spend her time on housework while her husband makes all the money."
"I don't particularly want to marry someone who I'm not in love with," he said.
"Nor do I, but I'm going to have to, whether it's you or not," she said. "Please? We don't have to be exclusive, you wouldn't have to wear a ring except for on special occasions, and we don't even have to share a bed, if you don't want to. It'd be an effortless, respectable, pureblood marriage. What d'you say?"
"Kids?" he asked.
Bellatrix shuddered slightly.
"Gods no," she said.
"And when do you propose we do it?"
"As soon as I can tell everyone and plan it," she said. "Just because I'm not getting married for love, that doesn't mean I can't have the wedding every little girl dreams of having some day. Within a year, I'd guess."
He thought for a moment.
"Oh fine," he said. "Why not?"
Bellatrix made a triumphant noise and threw her arms up into the air in victory.
"Now mother will finally shut up!"