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between hurting & healing

Chapter 7: not like you

Summary:

Frances slid into the booth of the familiar frozen yogurt shop. The air conditioning was blasting, fighting against the humidity of the summer that swept through the small shop with every chime of the bell above the door. Her thighs stuck to the seat, her lips were cold and numb from the strawberry-chocolate froyo mixture, and Alex’s laugh rumbled from his chest from something she had said moments ago.

It was the perfect day.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Frances slid into the booth of the familiar frozen yogurt shop. The air conditioning was blasting, fighting against the humidity of the summer that swept through the small shop with every chime of the bell above the door. Her thighs stuck to the seat, her lips were cold and numb from the strawberry-chocolate froyo mixture, and Alex’s laugh rumbled from his chest from something she had said moments ago.

It was the perfect day.

Alex had woken her up that morning with a promise of a treat after she finished her chores, which inspired her to actually finish them in a timely manner. After she took a shower, threw on a tank top and shorts, and pulled her curls back into a sloppy bun that matched her Papa’s, they were out. The sun was cruel, burning her bare shoulders, making the freckles across her skin that much more prominent. Alex complained under his breath, but thankfully the walk to the froyo shop wasn’t that long. It was last froyo place in their neighborhood, potentially one of the last in Manhattan, not that they ever looked for another one. This one was perfect.

It wasn’t a big name like Pinkberry, just a little shop called Chillz . With a Z. When Frances was younger, she thought that was the coolest thing. Now, Chillz was a family tradition. Which is why Frances was mildly suspicious when they walked through the door, into the welcoming cool air and familiar smell of yogurt, toppings, and the sanitizer they used to wipe down the countertops. The walls were covered in posters with phrases such as ‘Keep Calm & Eat Froyo’ and ‘Life is short, eat dessert first’, along with artistic photos of frozen yogurt. One wall in the back was actually a chalkboard, and it was covered in drawings, signatures, quotes, and names of people who have visited. Near the top left corner is a small, green cartoon turtle. John drew that years ago and it never got erased, Frances grinned every time she spotted it.

“Why are we here?” Frances mixed the frozen yogurt in her cup, watching the gummy bears she had topped it with disappear into the pink and brown mixture.

“It’s a hot one today, figured we deserved something nice to cool off with.” Alex took another bite of his pistachio yogurt, which Frances still thought was the most disgusting flavor in the world.

“Can we take some to Dad at the hospital?”

“Sure, sweetie.”

Frances narrowed her eyes. “No arguments that it’s going to melt? Or that it’s too far of a walk? Papa, what’s going on?”

Alex was quick to cut the crap, leveling with Frances. “Your dad told me about how you felt on Father’s Day, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt if we spent more time together.”

“We literally live together,” Frances muttered, leaning back, her legs squeaking against the plastic seat as she slid down into it. “I was just having a bad day or something.”

“It’s okay if you felt a little jealous, Fran.” Alex leaned forward. “But just because we spent some time with Philip, Eliza, and Maria doesn’t mean I love you any less. You’re still my daughter, whether we share blood or not.”

“I know.” Frances sighed. “It’s just…”

“What’s up?”

Frances shrugged her shoulders, staring into her yogurt as she continued to spin her spoon through it.

“Come on, honey.”

“It just doesn’t really feel fair sometimes.” Frances whispered. “It’s stupid.”

“Your feelings aren’t stupid, Fran.”

“I just feel really alone sometimes.” She frowned, scooting further down in her seat. Her legs had gotten so long that her knees nearly bumped into Alex’s beneath the table. “Dad’s always working, and you’re always writing - when Philip and Georges are over, they’re closer to each other than they are to me. Even Theo’s found someone that she likes better than me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true -” Alex was cut off by the jingle of the bell over the door, Frances’ eyes immediately following the sound and her heart dropping in her chest.

“Speak of the devil…”

Theo, in a short, frilly sundress, walked into the shop hand-in-hand with Ana. Frances fell even further in her seat, knees bumping Alex’s under the table as he turned to see the scene for himself. The two girls didn’t seem to notice them as they passed, going toward the frozen yogurt machines, giggling to each other.

“So, she has a girlfriend.” Alex nudged Frances with his knee. “That doesn’t mean you aren’t still her best friend, Fran. You two are close, I’ve seen you together.”

Frances grumbled something and shoved a spoonful of froyo into her mouth, eyes downcast.

Alex frowned. “Are you sure this is just… friend-related jealousy?”

Frances furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

“I just mean,” Alex paused, trying to find the right way to word this. “Are you… sure that you’re just upset… over not spending time with her, and not over… not… being with her?”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I’m just saying, if you… liked Theo in a, in a different way - that’s okay. We’re, obviously, okay with it--”

“Oh my god, Papa!” Frances nearly screeched, sitting up in her seat and drawing attention to them. Alex glanced over her shoulder, noticing Theo noticing them, but before he could return the girl’s wave, Frances’ next words stopped him short. “No, it’s not like - I’m not like you.”

Alex froze, eyes returning to the girl in front of him. Her words cut through him like a knife, venom dripped from ‘not like you’, and she didn’t realize what it had sounded like until it was too late.

“I-I mean -” She swallowed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like -”

Alex raised a hand to stop her, shook his head. “I’ll go get a cup for your Dad while you finish up.”

“Papa -”

“It’s okay, Frances.”

“No, it’s -”

Alex got up before she could continue and she let out a frustrated sigh, angry with herself for what she had said. Mostly for how she had said it.


Ana’s hand brushed against Theo’s for what felt like the hundredth time, but the girl just couldn’t be convinced to lock eyes let alone hold hands, not after the scene in the frozen yogurt shop. Theo had recalled Frances mentioning the place to her, and figured it was the perfect spot to spend some time with her loveliest new acquaintance - what she hadn’t accounted for was the chance that Frances would also be there.

She heard a familiar voice shouting out, her head snapping up to find the back of Frances’ curly head, sitting across from Alexander. Theo made eye contact with the man, smiling and waving, but his eyes snapped back to his daughter a moment later and Theo’s attention was drawn back to Ana. Ana’s fingers were wrapped around Theo’s wrist in a vice grip.

“What’s wrong?”

“What is she doing here?” Ana whispered, words sharp enough they could’ve cut into Theo’s skin.

“I don’t know - getting froyo with her dad?” Theo managed to twist her hand out of Ana’s hold. “Why?”

“Did you know she was going to be here?”

“Of course not, we don’t track each other’s every move.” Theo’s looked back over at the table, where Frances was now standing to follow her papa out of the store. “There, she’s gone now. What’s with you?”

Ana rolled her eyes. Theo frowned and returned to filling her cup up with strawberry yogurt.

“Are you really that thick?” Ana finally asked.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Mon amour, she likes you.”

Theo looked back at her, lifted a brow and pursed her lips, confused. Ana resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, placing her cup down and crossing her arms. “Frances has a crush on you. I have seen the way she looks at you, especially when we are together. She is jealous.”

“She’s straight.”

“So was I.” Ana shrugged. “Or so I thought, then I met you.”

“I’m the first girl you’ve dated?”

“You’re the first girl I’ve done anything with.” Ana gave her a soft smile, brushed her fingers over Theo’s bare shoulder. “Not that I am complaining, or anything.”

And from there, Theo couldn’t stop thinking. About Frances, about Ana. About the nuances of sexuality, and the confusing time that their teenage years were turning out to be.

“It’s getting late.” Theo said after Ana’s hand brushed hers once again. She turned on her heel, facing the other girl. “I should probably head home.”

“Already?” Ana pouted. “Okay, but I will miss you.” She leaned in, kissing Theo’s cheek, and her skin burned from the contact. Not in the usual way it did when Ana touched or kissed her, but in a new way that wasn’t as pleasant. “Text me when you get home safe?”

“Of course.”

Theo didn’t text her.

Theo didn’t text anyone, she hardly spoke to her father. She went straight to her room, laid on her bed, and started thinking. Thinking about Ana and Frances, thinking about… everything.


“You said what ?”

Frances groaned and flipped onto her front, burying her face into her pillows. Her voice was muffled as she all but screamed, “You heard me.”

“‘I’m not like you’? Seriously, Franny?” Georges leaned against the bed, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed in front of him.  

“I didn’t mean it!” Frances wiggled until her head was hanging off the bed, next to Georges, her frown looking especially silly upside down. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Maybe apologize?” Georges suggested. “You were kind of a bitch.”

Frances nudged his shoulder with her forehead, pouting. “I just… why would he say all of that?”

“Because you’re obviously crushing on Theodosia?”

“I am not .”

Georges rolled his eyes, turning to glare at the girl. “Frances, come on. You get jealous as hell over her and Ana -”  

“Because it’s like I’m losing my friend -”

“Because your crush is dating someone else. Franny, you had me spy on her.”

“I just want to know if she’s good enough for Theo -”

“You’re jealous.” Georges’ words held a finality, he was done arguing on the subject. “You’re jealous, you’ve got a crush on a girl for the first time and it can be confusing. Because you don’t think you’re like us.”

“I’m not gay.”

“Well, Franny, you’re not very straight either.”

Frances turned and slid off the bed, standing over him with a glare. “Who are you to dictate my sexuality?”

Georges held his hands up. “I’m just observing.”

“Get out.”

“Frances -”

Out .” Frances stomped a foot and pointed to the door, glaring Georges down. “I’m tired of everyone trying to tell me how I feel, just go away. Theo’s my friend , that’s all I want.”

Her voice was almost confident enough to believe her own words.

Notes:

sorry for the delay, I've been feeling v uninspired and down lately - but here we are, I hope you enjoyed it.

lemme know what you think with comments & kudos, or come talk @ me on tumblr: @lafbaeyette

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