Archive of Our Own ^beta

3AM.

It had hit 3AM and Josh was reconsidering why he ever thought taking a night shift at a local 24/7 supermarket was a good idea. He would have liked to say that his insomnia made it easier to get through the long, late hours, but that would be an absolute lie. It at least gave him some sound reassurance that he wouldn't be sleeping regardless, and at least this way he got paid to suffer in the early hours of the morning.

There were three other staff members in the shop. One security, one staff member - who Josh still wasn't sure what they actually did for their job - and one tired check out chick. That would be Josh.

He'd been working the Tuesday 12-4AM shifts for just over 3 months, and just picked up some 3-9AM work periods. He took the job seeing as he got paid extra for the late times, and didn't think twice about it until a month in, once he realised there was a difference between being awake while lying in bed, and being awake while slowly losing your mind at a counter.

There weren't many customers after midnight, most people being sensible enough to stay in bed, or their homes at least.

The most common type of customer the shop had at that time of night were rowdy youth coming back from a party and buying cheap snack food to ease their buzz. The second most common was the insomniac. A specimen type Josh belonged to.

It was weird being on the other end of the counter. So many times had Josh made his way down to the local 24hr shop to buy something, an action that always seemed logical to his sleep deprived brain. 

Being on the professional side of the conveyer belt meant Josh got to see what it was like to watch an insomniac buy a pack of family sized Swedish Fish Chips at 2:30AM. 

In other words, he got to be the one judging others for their late night choices, not the other way around for a change.

On the brightside, that meant Josh only had to deal with two kinds of customers: the inhibited, and people too tired to care about Josh's costumer service attitude. 

Josh hoped the cute boy that had approached the counter was the latter of the two, with his tired eyes and lost expression, his attention being pulled different ways every thirty seconds before he began to stare into the distance.

"Um, sir?" Who ever said Josh lost his customer service skills after 12? "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

No answer. Josh received no answer as the customer just stared at him, specifically his hair.

Josh had received multiple looks for his almost neon yellow hair, mostly judgmental. They were usually sent his way in the daytime though, most people didn't care what about his hair looked like after midnight. 

"Your hair; it reminds me of bananas. I don't like bananas." 

"Oh" 

Should Josh be offended? That definitely wasn't what he was expecting from the tired man in front of him.

"But I like your hair. It's pretty."

Apparently not. And damn, Josh was always a sucker for cute boys in general, but he had no chance against a cute boy complimenting him. "Thank you."

"I thought it would be red."

Had Josh lost part of the conversation? "Why would it be red."

"I don't know, I just thought it would be red."

Okay, Josh had no room to judge others for where their minds went when they were tired, but he really hoped this man went to sleep soon, because it looked like he was struggling to function.

"Well, I'll make that my next colour then."

Maybe the customer was stoned because Josh received the most relaxed smile he'd ever seen, full lips stretching against his facing, eyes softening into a warm crinkle. "Aww, thank you. That's so sweet, dude."

"Uh, no problem."

The customer glanced at the clock that hung on the wall above the exit of the check out aisles, an object that usually tortured Josh as he watched time pass. "Well I should probably go, have a good night."

"Wait wha-" Before he could even stop the strange man, he had walked out of the register line. It was then that Josh realised the man hadn't brought any items to the register, had just walked up to him and commented on his hair. 

"What just happened?" He mumbled under his breath, too tired to care about looking crazy. 

Josh felt equal parts concern and disappointment when the customer left. On one hand, he had been cute and kind of amusing, but on the other hand, could someone that sleep deprived make their way through life safely?

It didn't really matter what Josh thought though, he had a shift till 6AM.

"You actually made it red."

And there was the voice Josh had been waiting for, at least for a couple of days at the least, but he couldn't see the body to match it. Glancing around Josh saw no sign of the sleepy man, but he was certain he had heard the voice. Was he going crazy? Was sleep deprivation finally leading him off the deep end? 

Josh definitely was going crazy, because he heard a laugh before a loud call of, "Up here."

His head whipped around towards the aisles, glancing up seeing the costumer on top of one of the shelves.

Why was he on top of the aisle?

"Why are you on top of the aisle?"

The man shrugged from his cross legged position, face a pure mask of innocence. "Because I wanted to, and because I can. Are you going to report me?"

"... no, not unless you break something." That appeared to please the costumer, as he smiled at Josh before leaning over the shelf to bat at the sign hanging from the ceiling, hitting the small card that said 'soups'. "Don't play with that."

"Why?"

Was he serious? "You'll break it." 

"No, I won't." 

How did someone, who looked to be around 20 at least, manage to act like a 3 year old and get away with it. "Yes, you will."

The man shook his hand as he pushed the hanging sign again, "Nuh uh."

"You should probably get down before you get in trouble."

The sign began to swing as he kept hitting it, the wires making a small creaking noise. "No, I won't, you're the only one around to tell me off." 

Josh tried to remember if any of his coworkers were on shift, he was pretty sure someone was meant to be working security, but most people on staff took a nap at 4 until 5, unless they were taking the till. Damn, the costumer was always right. 

"Still, you should get down. What if you fall?" 

A shrug was the only answer Josh received as the man continued to play with the sign, said sign reaching dangerous levels of momentum. "Maybe you should chill on the sign pushing, man. It looks a bit precarious."

"It'll be fine."

The way he said it did not make it sound fine. "Dude, if you break it you're buying it."

The customer sighed as if Josh was saying something unreasonable, which he wasn't. It was a very reasonable thing to assume. "It's not going to br-."

Josh wasn't the type of person to say 'I told you so', really he wasn't, but:

"I told you so."

Sometimes it was necessary.

It was impressive really, how fast the man bounded down the shelf, feet scrabbling for purchase on the rows. As soon as he touched the ground, the customer bolted towards the register before slipping around the desk to hide under the conveyor belt. "You gotta let me hide here, they'll catch me."

Before Josh could tell the man to get out from under the counter and away from Josh, the security guard that had probably been napping bounded around the corner of a random aisle. 

"What the fuck happened?"

Now, Josh had known he was the only thing standing between the customer and probably a thousand dollar fine. There was a limited amount of cameras the cheap supermarket could supply, so they were positioned over the register and the more valuable aisles, meaning the man's causal destruction of Josh's work place wouldn't be on film.

"Uh I don't know, sir. It just kinda... fell?"

Josh was a terrible liar, it was a flaw he took pride in. It was obvious that the man hadn't believed him, but it seemed that he was too tired to argue. Finding facts to prove Josh wrong would require too much effort for anyone working past midnight.

"Just," He paused for a second, looking completely fed up with life. "Just clean it up, ok?"

"Yes, sir." Josh thought it was probably best to just agree at that point. 

Josh made sure to watch his co worker walk around the aisle before he looked down at the man tugging insistently at his pants. 

"I thought you were going to report me if I broke anything?" 

Josh shrugged. "I don't do well with conflict. He would have started a commotion if he knew you did it."

The man seemed to have a realisation halfway through Josh's sentence, eyes widening fractionally, and a thoughtful look crossing his features. With one surprisingly fluid motion for a man looking like he was running on no sleep for two days, he tucked his feet out from under himself and positioned himself against the back of the registers cupboard. 

Shouldn't the man have been coming out from under the conveyor belt, not settling deeper into the dark space? "What are you doing?"

"It's actually, like, so comfy here." The man said, before closing his eyes and cuddling deeper into his oversized hoodie.

Josh had no idea how to react to the situation, so he did what he did best in uncomfortable situations: ignore it until it went away.

Which is exactly what he did for the next 4 hours until he had to tap the man awake with his foot, nudging him awake. Watching him leave the doors of the shop was a surreal feeling.

Surprisingly, it wasn't the weirdest night Josh had experienced.

A fortnight.

It had been a fortnight since Josh's favourite costumer had left the store. It had also been a week of Josh realising he was crushing on a cute boy with the weirdest sleep deprived habits. And he didn't even know his name. 

It was quite the revelation when Josh had been standing at his register, tapping along to the overhead radio while feeling like he was missing something, yearning for it. The feeling had welled up in him almost instantaneously, making him feel like he was about to cry. It had taken him to the end of the shift for him to realise he had been waiting for the customer to show up, the anxious feeling staying with him the whole time. It took him another day to realise that he was crushing on the sleepy man. A sleepy man who he knew close to nothing about besides the fact that he had a cute, crooked smile, fluffy hair, and acted really strange as a result of sleep deprivation. 

But Josh was enchanted, which probably wasn't the most accurate word but it was the best he could use to describe the feeling he had. He just wanted to be near him, see what comes next, maybe even just sit with him and listen to the world go by. 

Late nights always felt so isolated, with everyone asleep, the world was quieter. Josh wanted to be quiet with him.

Which probably wasn't going to happen because he hadn't shown up for a fortnight. Josh was aware that he had it bad for the customer, but he was fine living in denial. This crush would pass just like every other one Josh had in his life.

Josh took in a deep breath after realising he had gotten stuck in his head, lost in thoughts of him. Again. For the fourth that time that hour.

Heck.

Josh placed his hands on the conveyor belt and felt the texture, grounding himself and pulling himself from his head further. He began to pick up the sounds of the radio, the beat bringing him back to reality. 

He began to tap his fingers along to the rhythm floating through the air, the rush of happiness he got when listening to music growing inside of him. 

His head started nodding along, letting the happiness build up inside and slowly let his inhibitions disappear.

As the beat grew he began to get more into it, arms coming up to hit imaginary drums and make jerky dance movements. After a quick glance around to see if customers were around, Josh started moving his feet, swinging his hips into it and slowly going in a circle as a result of his repetitive hip motions. 

Josh felt so happy, just getting lost in the music, letting his body move in the physical quietness of 4AM.

"You dance like a dad."

Josh almost broke the register as his wayward elbow slammed into the cash machine, and damn did that hurt. Why did the one person he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of appear when he was least wanted. He couldn't have come on the day that Josh did his hair nice? Or when he wore a shirt a size smaller to show off the results of his recent increase in fitness?

"Sorry, dude. Dancing isn't really my fortè."

"No, it was adorable. I felt happiness for the first time in years. Truly a Christmas miracle."

And there went the crooked smile that Josh had been thinking about for a week straight. Could he sue the stranger for bullying? That smile must be some form of torture, right? Why was no one stopping this man and his killer smile? 

Josh was never one to who how to react to flirting. Or compliments. Or cute guys. Or just base line interaction by himself, to be honest. So that's probably why he responded with the eloquent reply of a panicked, "It's March."
 
Apparently even Josh's awkwardness couldn't break through the tired bubble of serenity that surrounded the stranger. "Even more of a miracle then."

Josh looked down at the items in his arms. It was the first time in the total six visits to the supermarket that the customer actually brought items to the check out counter. Josh didn't know how to react though, because –

"Dude, I thought you didn't like bananas." Josh said as the man settled five bunches down on the counter. 

"Huh?" 

"Why are you buying bananas?" Josh asked as he picked up a bunch, inspecting it as if it would reveal the answers as to why the man was buying a food item that he didn't enjoy. Especially five bunches of them. "I thought you hated them."

The man looked at him like he'd just spoken truth straight from the gospel. "You're right."

Oh dear, how tired was he this time? "Do you maybe want to put them back, dude?"

"Too far away. I'll just buy them."

"You sure?" Josh asked. He had experienced the regret of late night shopping. It was only after he received a hesitant nod from the man that he began to ring them up and place them in the bag. "What are you going to do with them?"

Tyler paused for a moment, the bag of bananas hanging limply from his hand. With what seemed to be a nod to himself, he turned to Josh with full confidence and said, "Burn them."

Josh was too in shock to stop the man from leaving the store.

And Josh still forgot to ask for his name.

There was fifteen packets of Oreos.

Fifteen packets of double stuffed Oreos and a family sized container of salt.

Josh had no words. Actually no. He had one.

"Why?"

The man just shrugged. "Want to know what it tastes like."

"... You want to know what Oreos and salt tastes like?"

He nodded, "Yeah, because salty and sweet kind of go together, like salted caramel."

"Okay, man. Don't know why you need fifteen packets of them." Josh had accepted the man's weird habits. "But if you say so."

"You want to try it with me?" He asked, opening one of the Oreo packets after buying them.

"I mean... sure?" How bad could it be?

The man twisted open two Oreos, salt at the ready. "Sweet."

Josh watched as he popped open the salt container and sprinkled an even amount on each circle of cream. With an almost elegant twist of his hand, he placed the tops back on and handed one to Josh. "Alright, on three."

"One." Together lifted their Oreos to their mouths.

"Two." They locked eyes and the man gave Josh a tiny smirk.

"Three." Josh stuffed his Oreo into his mouth and started chewing. At first it didn't seem too bad until he reached the pocket of salt.

"Oh my god, dude. What the crep." His mouth was not enjoying this sensation.

He seemed more amused by Josh's reaction than the hell that was most likely going on in his mouth. "What's a crep?"

"It's the c word but censored." Josh had received enough teasing in his lifetime to realise that telling your crush about faux-swears would not leave a good impression. He should not have said that. "Like C-R-A-P, but without the a."

"Dude, that's sick." Okay, never mind then. "So I think this time we should add less salt."

"We're doing it again?" Josh asked.

"Obviously. We have to do this until we get the perfect ratio.

And that's how Josh spent the next 20 minutes trying out a variety of salt to Oreo mixtures. Could that be counted as a date?

The next time the man returned, Josh was prepared. 

He had a neon green sticky pad on his register monitor that boldly said "GET HIS NAME."

He had "NAMF" aggressively spelled out on his hand, also spelt wrong because he didn't realise he wrote an F instead of an E until he gave back the pen so his coworker could sign out. It didn't matter really, he understood what he had to do.

And lastly, he had been repeating the mantra of "you need to find out his name" in his head for the last four days. 

Josh didn't even hesitate to ask him his name when the man showed up to Josh's counter with six cartons of 2L icecream, four bottles of vodka, two physical copies of the live version of Peter Pan, and a whole shopping cart of novelty chocolate that was on sale from valentines last week.

Okay, he did hesitate, because that was a lot of chocolate, but priorities. He needed a name.

"Name?"

He looked confused for a second, "Oh, Jenna."

What? "What?"

That was not the name he was expecting. Oh dear, was the customer a female? Or non-binary? Had Josh been misgendering them this whole time? Oh no.

"It's for Jenna."

Josh had to be missing something. Or was his sleep deprived brain missing a link. "What's for Jenna?"

Maybe it wasn't his brain, because the customer looked equally confused. Josh had to admit, they looked adorable with the crease between their eyebrows and a pout on their lips. "The chocolates, they're for Jenna."

"Cool... Why did you tell me that?" 

The customer paused in setting down their chocolates, directing confounded, squinty eyes at Josh. "What?"

Tired, befuddled eyes met each other, their owners both equally lost in the conversation. "What?"

"Wait, what?"

Josh needed to stop this before it got too out of hand for either of them. "What did you ask?"

"I can't remember."

This was not going how Josh expected the conversation to go, he was hoping a little more rom com and a little less  stoner comedy. "Why did you mention Jenna?"

"... because you asked?" They didn't sound confident in their answer.

"No." Josh shook his head, this was one of the most confusing conversations he'd had. "No, I didn't."

"Yes," they said, nodding their head slowly, almost condescendingly. "Yes, you did."

"I don't even care about chocolate."

"Why?" They even looked scandalized. "It's delicious, I mean it's kind of sweet, but still delicious." 

"That's not what I meant." Josh had been only halfway through scanning the boxes and he could tell this was going to be a long conversation.

"That's what you said."

If a sigh was released when he scanned the next box, it was justified, Josh had been putting up with a lot in the last five minutes. "What's you're name?"

They looked at him weirdly as they placed more chocolate on the conveyor belt, as if Josh was the one being a nuisance in this conversation. "What has that got to do with anything?"

"That's what I asked in the first place." 

"No, it wasn't."

Josh could feel his soul slowly leave his body as they got further and further away from the point of the conversation. "Look, you've been here over 10 times, only two times to buy food, another three times to break something in the store, I just want your name."

A box of chocolates was crushed against their chest as they looked at Josh with defiant eyes. "Why? So you can turn me in? It was all an accident. You can't prove anything."

Josh swore he could physically hear the sound of his sleep deprived patience snap, "Oh my god, no. I just want your name because you're cute. Oh my god, how hard is that?"

"Oh."

Oh no, Josh didn't want to reveal the crush or notify any attraction until after he was sure he wouldn't get his heart destroyed.

"Tyler." Tyler smiled. "It's Tyler." 

Josh kind of ran on autopilot after he found out Tyler's name. He couldn't remember much of the conversation to be honest, he would be forever stuck on the smile Tyler gave him as his name fell from his lips.

It had been two weeks since the great Confusing Conversation of March, two weeks of Tyler popping up with random purchases and intriguing stories and strange behaviour.

Josh never did find out why Tyler was buying a whole trolley of chocolate, booze and old movies for Jenna. The conversation had drifted into silence after Josh had offered a "I'm Josh" in return.

Tyler's "I know, it's on your shirt." kind of killed the conversation. 

It didn't stop Tyler from coming back the next day with familiar tired eyes and an earnest smile.

He hadn't shown up yet and Josh had been sent to stack cans, a job he wasn't doing quite successfully.

Thoughts were kind of just flowing through Josh's head, none really sticking out. There was no end or beginning to an idea, it just blended into another. Thoughts of food, scenarios, people, origins, names and words were passing through his brain. The background noise was an insignificant detail at that point, his mind too busy processing what was happening inside.

"Josh."

That was his name, he should respond to it. Weren't names weird though, what if he wasn't born a Josh, what if he was bor-.

"Josh."

He registered a solidness on his body that he swore hadn't been there earlier, or maybe it had, he actually couldn't be sure.

"Josh, you need to come back, dude."

Josh could feel himself being dragged from his mind, attention coming back to his surroundings rather than whatever was on his brain at that point.

Tyler. Tyler was next to him, hand gently resting on his shoulder, eyes looking the most awake Josh had seen. "You back, man?"

"Yeah?" Josh wasn't sure, he always felt unbalanced and the world too surreal after getting lost deep inside his mind.

"You tired?"

"Yeah, I think too much." Words were hard. "I do it when I'm not tired. But tired more."

Tyler gave him a nod that wasn't pitying, not the way his friends or family were, when they saw him disassociate, when the sleep deprivation slowed him down. His nod was empathetic and full of understanding. "I get that. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah." Josh was usually okay after a few minutes, awareness of his surroundings came first, higher vocabulary and sentence structure came last unfortunately.

Josh could see Tyler leading him away from where he had been standing, why had he been standing there, he had been doing something, he couldn't remember. Tyler pulled him a little harder, apparently Josh had stopped.

Josh didn't feel like Josh, he wasn't in his body, he should be in his body.

He could see the room as he was pushed into it, his mind registered it as the break room. "I'll grab you something to drink."

Oh, Josh had been pushed into the old couch. He knew this couch.

He could feel his understanding coming back as he watched Tyler walk to the fridge, opening it to grab a water bottle.

"Sorry," Josh didn't know how to finish the sentence, how could he sum up the words. "Sorry, sometimes I just lose track of the world."

"It's okay, man. I get it. It happens to me too." The cold drink was placed into Josh's hands. "Usually there's more self destruction on the inside for me, but I understand the separation."

"That sucks," Josh cracked open the lid. "Mine is just... intense thinking."

"Eh, you get used to it."

And that was the end of that. They sat together on the old couch for a few hours, sitting in a comfortable silence. Both tired and drained, just basking in each other's company. Occasionally Josh would brush up against Tyler's side and shivers would shake up Josh's spine. Or Tyler would rub his pinky against Josh's and heat would bloom inside him.

That has been happening since the Confusing Conversation. Slight touches, what could be counted as flirting, and some deep conversations.

One night they had sat under the conveyor belt together and talked about their family and childhood for six hours, sharing and trading secrets and truths. 

One time Tyler came in with a grey beanie, shoved it on top of Josh's faded curls and told him it was his from now on.

When Josh had asked him why he had it, he replied with a nonchalant "I bought it on a whim, it doesn't fit me." 

Which was a lie, because first of all, it's a beanie. Beanies fit everyone. Secondly, Josh had fixed it onto Tyler's head at one point in their conversation and it fit fine. Thirdly, it perfectly fit the description of Josh's old teenage beanie. The one he told Tyler about one night, confessing that he used to hide behind it and his straightened fringe at the time to avoid eye contact. 

He lost it one day and it still kind of hurt, because damn, he was really attached to that beanie.

Anyway, they stayed on the couch in silence, slowly gravitating together until they were pressed against one another. That was until the other staff on duty that night burst in, the door slamming against the wall on the way in.

It was the security guard from when Tyler broke the sign, not the one from when Tyler knocked over a whole display of fruit. "Josh, why aren't you at your counter."

Josh hadn't been lying when he said he didn't deal well with conflict.

"Sorry sir, that was my fault." Tyler's voice was controlled and calm, with a slight edge underlying it. It sounded like soft covered steel, commanding obedience. It was hot. "I wasn't really feeling well and almost passed out. Josh brought me back here to help out."

Tyler motioned to the abandoned water bottle on the desk in front of the couch. 

"I'm feeling better though. Josh can probably get back to work."

Tyler made a show of standing up carefully, playing the signs of someone recently ill almost perfectly. Josh would have to ask about that later. 

The security guard didn't look convinced, but he also seemed desperate to get back to his monitor point, the need to return to sleep written on his face. "Don't let me catch you slacking off again."

If Josh had been any braver off a person, he would have made a snarky comment about the mans lack of work ethic himself. But he wasn't. So he just settled for a simple, "Okay, no problem."

It was an awkward shuffle as the three of them made their way out of the backroom, walking down the aisles in silence until they parted ways. Josh and Tyler heading towards the front of the store, and the security guard heading to wherever.

When they got to the counter, Josh turned to a grinning Tyler. "Where did you learn to lie like that?"

"I used to make a lot of films as a teen." He said ecstatically. 

"That." Josh paused for a second, thinking about it. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense."

It explained the expressive facial features, the control of tone on the rare days that Tyler wasn't mind numbingly tired. 

Tyler's seemed to shine as he turned to Josh and said. "So, you never answered my question. How did you end up with the nickname one sixty bpm?"

"Help me." Was the first thing Tyler said when he walked up to Josh's counter at 3AM.

"What do you need, man?"

The sigh Tyler released sounded like 24 years of pent up frustration. His mouth opened and closed, eyes slightly zoning out, actions that happened when Tyler couldn't think of the right words. It usually only happened after the 40 hour mark. "Bowl of rice."

"Rice?"

Tyler let out a sound that could have been "Ye."

"Uh, just down aisle number four." Josh leaned over the counter and pointed further down the building.

A solid hand settled on his shoulder.

"Thank." Tyler's tone and face were fully sincere and Josh had found it very difficult to keep a straight face. "You've been helpful."

Josh didn't see Tyler for the rest of his 6 hour shift.

It had been two months of Tyler.

Two months of Tyler coming into the store in a complete state of sleepy zen. Two months of exchanging happy smiles and crinkly eyes. Two months of light touches and bashful smiles.

Josh had only seen Tyler in a distressed state once before. Josh had found him sitting in the freezer aisle, head between his knees, arms shielding his cowering form.

"Tyler, you okay?" Josh had stupidly asked, it was clear he wasn't okay.

Tyler didn't even respond, he had just snapped his head to look at Josh before scrambling up, teary eyed, and basically running out of the store. 

Josh had felt pretty bad for the next two days of Tyler's absence. He had perfectly dealt with Josh's disassociation episode, and while they had both equally complained about little things in their lives, Josh was unable to help him when Tyler needed it the most.

That had been at the month point in their friendship and Josh still felt that he wasn't being a supportive friend. He wanted to be someone Tyler could rely on and confess to.

So the next time it got deep regarding Tyler's mental health, he was prepared. He had been mentally writing out speeches of Tyler's greatness to use whenever the topic came up.

Which was apparently on an early Friday morning. Tyler had come into the shop and walked directly towards Josh, and immediately said, "Do you think the person who holds the title of fastest cotton candy eater is proud of themselves?"

Silence.

Just silence. For at least a full ten seconds. "Sometimes I wonder if you are high or not"

Tyler shook his head slowly, "Nah, just tired."

Josh could tell. Tyler was the poster boy of an insomniac: speaking too slow like he was having trouble finding the words and slouched over like the world was pressing down on him. "How tired?

"Like I haven't slept in three days and I can hear things and see shadows." 

And no, that was not good.

Josh waved at Tyler to walk around the counter and join him behind the register. "Dude, have you tried sleeping pills?"

He shook his head as he settled against the conveyor belt next to Josh. "I don't want to get addicted."

"What about melatonin pills?"

"What?" Tyler asked, looking at Josh like he was crazy.

Josh turned and grabbed some unused receipt paper, picking up a pen from the little pot near his register. "There's these natural supplements that help with sleep balance and the hormone release of melatonin, y'know the sleep hormone."

Josh scribbled down some loose information about the supplement.

"They're not perfect and they don't knock you out. If you're really stressed or anxious they're not going to work, but they're better than nothing." Josh handed Tyler the receipt of information. "I take them. Well, usually, I kind of forget half the time. I usually just take L-Tryptophan. Maybe give it a shot?"

Tyler glanced over the sheet slowly. "Thanks."

"No problem. It might be a bit expensive but it's worth it for your health. You're important, you shouldn't slowly lose your mind."

And then Tyler started to cry. That was not the reaction Josh had wanted. He did not know how to deal with crying people. "Tyler, uh."

"Sorry." Tyler said as he started whipping away the tears in his eyes. "I'm just. Damn it, I'm not okay."

Josh slid an arm around Tyler's shoulders and brought him into a hug. Josh felt his heart tighten when Tyler gripped the back of his shirt, leaning down to bury his head into Josh's chest. "Tyler, you're so important. You're funny, and kind, and smart, and beautiful, and I wish your mind didn't hurt you the way it does. I know it's scary to show people the bad things in your head or to be hurt around people, but I'm always here for you. You can show me these things. I want to see all the parts of you. Even the sides you don't like. You're so important to me."

Josh didn't know if that was a little too much, but he felt that Tyler needed to hear those things.

Tyler just kept crying and muttering 'thank you' into his chest, body shaking in Josh's arms. They must have stayed there for at least 20 minutes, with Tyler breaking down and Josh trying to be something he could ground himself on.

Eventually, the sobbing died down and Tyler lifted his head from Josh's chest, but didn't leave his embrace. 

"Thank you," Tyler said with a small smile, "I'm sure I look like a mess."

He did. His eyes were red and blurry, his face splotchy with bunches of white and pink. There were tear stains all down his cheeks and his lip was mildly bleeding from where he had been biting it, trying to suffocate the sobs. 

Despite this, Tyler still made affection swell up in Josh. "Yeah, kinda."

"Wow." And there was the laugh Josh had come to love. "At least I can rely on you to be honest."

"I meant everything I said."

Tyler settled back against his chest. "Thank you, Josh. Really."

Josh squeezed Tyler tighter against him. "Always, Tyler."

"Josh, dude. I've been looking for you for ages."

There was a reason for that. 

Josh had been hiding in the back of the shop with a small selection of stock that had captured his interest.

Josh was worried for a second about how Tyler would react when he saw him. Then he remembered that Tyler was as strange, if not more, than him. 

"Tyler," Josh turned to face him with a smile that almost hurt, it was so big. "Look what I found."

"Are those neon finger lights?" 

Josh nodded with glee, trying to squash the smile on his face.

"Dude, that is so sick." Tyler literally ran over to Josh. Josh had chosen one of the back aisles that didn't have sufficient lighting so the neon colours would show up better when he waved his hands around.

"I know right!" Josh couldn't remember the last time he had been that excited. "We had a small order come through. They're so cool."

"Do you have any more?" Tyler grabbed Josh's gloves and started playing with his fingers, turning them over and pulling at the lights gently. 

Josh tried very hard to ignore the way his pulse raced.

"Yeah, dude. We've got a few more out the back." Josh trapped Tyler's fingers between his and lead him towards one of the darker back rooms.

They crept into the dimly lit room like guilty children, carefully running over to the box that held their treasure.

"This is so cool," Tyler sifted through the box and received a pair of light up gloves, sticking them on his hands. "We need to dance with these."

There was only a generic radio hit playing over the PA speakers, which should suffice, but "I thought I danced like an old man."

"You do, but you're cute, so it's fine." Tyler poked a glowing finger against Josh's chest. "We have to take advantage of these gloves while we still can."

Josh just gave a small shrug before he started shaking his hands around, watching the colours fly in the air. 

Tyler let out a whoop and began jumping on the spot, waving his arms about to create streaks in the dark lighting. Josh couldn't help but laugh as he joined in, moving his body faster and dancing around more.

It felt stupid, and he knew he looked stupid, but at that moment Hebrew couldn't care. With Tyler's excitement and the freedom of movement, it didn't  matter how stupid he looked.

As one song shifted into the next, they were bouncing around with colourful fingertips and laughter. Interacting with one another by briefly holding hands and swinging apart before Tyler let go and jumped onto an office table to lip sync along. 

Josh may or may not have done a backflip off a table to impress Tyler. He couldn't regret the overkill after hearing Tyler's praise of "That was so awesome, dude."

Laughter accompanied their dancing the whole time as they lost themselves in each other and the music, playfully dancing together and jokingly doing 'seductive' dance moves to make the other burst into laughter. Josh wished he didn't find Tyler's squat drops and hip shimmies as attractive as he did.

"I'm so tired." Josh complained during a lull in their dancing, hands on his knees as he regained his breath. "We were just dancing, shouldn't the adrenaline be keeping me awake? I just want a nap."

"Aliens," Tyler said with complete sincerity. "The answer is always aliens."

"That doesn't even make sense, dude." Josh said. "But at the same time, I completely understand. What the heck."

Tyler climbed down from his make shift stage (read: two tables pushed together) and looped an arm around Josh's waist. "That was amazing. I can't remember having that much fun in ages."

"The gloves are pretty rad."

"Not just the gloves, your dancing was awesome, dude." Tyler leaned closer for a second to give him a smug grin before saying, "Complete dad levels of dancing."

"Says the one who thinks shaking his foot like Thumper is an acceptable dance move." Was that flirting? That had to be some of the weirdest flirting Josh had ever seen. Although, this was coming from the man that thought saying Josh's hair would probably taste nice was a genuine compliment. "I'm surprised you had enough energy to bounce around like that. You usually look like you could fall asleep at any time."

Tyler let out a well timed yawn. "I kind of feel like that right now. Give me a pillow and a blanket and I think I could sleep for days."

Josh snapped his fingers as he remembered another shipment he wanted to show Tyler. "Dude, c'mon. I have something to show you."

Tyler grabbed his hand and held it again. It seemed that there was a lot of hand holding that night. "If it's as good as the gloves I'm down."

"Maybe it's not as good," Josh pushed open the door and let Tyler go through, "But it's still pretty great."

They continued idle chatter as they made their way through the aisles, Josh tugging on Tyler's hand when they had to turn. 

"This is it." Josh waved a hand to the display in front of him. 

"Is that...?" Tyler reached out to grab the triangular item from the display. "Is this a pillow in the shape of a pizza?"

"Yep."

Tyler let go of his hand to squish the pillow. "I think I'm in love."

"It gets better." Josh said, a little proud that he had found something Tyler liked. "It's in the pet section." 

Tyler raised his eyebrows at his. "Dude."

"Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds." Josh tried to reassure him.

"Whatever you say." Tyler didn't sound like he believed Josh.

Which he should have, because when Josh presented him with the dog blanket covered in cartoon tacos, he nearly cried. Josh assumed he hadn't slept in a long time. 

He clutched the pillow against his body and wrapped the soft blanket over his head, E.T. style. 

He looked adorable. Dammit.

"Come on." Was all Tyler said before he turned around and walked away. Which was quite a sight. A 5'9" man with a taco blanket wrapped around him, not quite reaching his knees.

Josh was led to the corner of the store, where wall met wall. He watched as Tyler settled down in the corner, placing the blanket over his legs and the pillow behind his head. Once he was done, he lifted up the corner of the blanket and patted the floor.

"You want me to sit there?" Josh scrutinized the corner. "It's dirty, man." 

"You'll be fine," Tyler waved his hand under the blanket, "Now come, I want your warmth."

"I see how it is," Josh said as he settled down next to Tyler, "You just want me for my body." 

Tyler just made a sound of agreement as he cuddled up to Josh's body and grabbed his hand again. 

Forget what Josh said about the Oreos, Tyler falling asleep on him after a night of dancing and flirting was definitely a date. 

Josh had been waiting at the counter for Tyler for an hour by thay point. They had gradually progressed into a schedule where Tyler would come in at 3AM when Josh was on shift. Sometimes he would arrive earlier, on the days that Josh's shift started at midnight. But generally, Tyler would walk up at 3AM and entertain him for the rest of his work period.

It was almost nearing twenty past four in the morning when Tyler showed up. 

"Hey, how was your night?" Josh asked, because Josh cared.

Tyler didn't reply so Josh assumed he didn't want to talk about it. Or it was a bad night. Both options were okay, Josh wanted to be someone Tyler could share his good and bad moments with. 

"It's a good thing you got the pizza pillow when you did, they sold out." Josh had ended up buying the pizza pillow and Taco blanket for Tyler after that night. He saw the way Tyler looked at the items, and they barely took a dent out of his already flimsy wallet, so Josh was happy he could give Tyler something that filled him with joy. 

Plus the hug Tyler gave him after he bought the gifts was permanently seared into his memory. 

Josh continued to maintain the one sided conversation. Tyler had confided one time that just hearing Josh talk was calming, so Josh secretly promised to talk for however long Tyler would need. 

But Josh realised that Tyler wasn't looking like his usual blank faced self when he had bad nights. In fact, he looked kind of embarrassed. "Tyler, what's wrong?"

Tyler finally looked at Josh face on, and Josh could immediately tell something was wrong with him. Not in a bad way, but his face just looked... weird. His cheeks too full and face too wide, lips pressed together tightly.

His eyes were dragged down as Tyler placed two gum packets on the conveyor, face down. 

Josh tentivly picked up the gym packets immediately noticing how light they were. Flipping them open confirmed that they were empty.

"... Tyler?"

Tyler gave him a hesitant smile and revealed a mouth full of green gum. 

Oh no.

"Tyler," Josh said slowly, "You do realise excessive gum eating has a laxative effect."

Tyler's eyes went wide as he began to freak out, looking around for somewhere to spit out the gum. 

With a quick motion, Josh picked up the bin under his desk and held it out to Tyler. He grabbed it with both hands and let the giant ball of gum fall out of his mouth with a solid thunk as it hit the bottom of the bin.

Silence.

Josh sighed. "Why did you do that?"

Tyler paused, shuffling from foot to foot, an embarrassed expression on his face. "I wanted my mouth to taste good."

"Okay, fair enough." Josh understood that logic,  that made sense, "But why did you keep eating more?"

"I don't know, I put a couple more in because I was nervous and then I hit a point and I kind of just went, 'I wonder how many I can fit in my mouth'."

"Dude." Josh had no idea what to say to that. 

Tyler crossed his arms, "Look I know, okay."

"What are you nervous about. You can always tell me. If you want."

Tyler mumbled something Josh couldn't make out.

"Pardon?" Josh asked.
 
Tyler sighed a repeated a little louder. "I want to kiss you."

Josh was stunned. That was not how he was expecting his shift to go. "Oh, that's a.. yeah, that's totally cool. We can do that. That would be really sick. Really cool."

Tyler beamed at him and placed his hands on the conveyor belt, leaning forward. They maintained eye contact for a couple of moments. "Josh, I know you want to kiss me."

"Yeah, I do." Josh nodded his head, still in a state of shock.

"So why aren't you kissing me?" 

Josh's reply was slow and hesitant, "I'm... not sure."

"Maybe you should fix the situation." Tyler raised his eyebrows at Josh and made a little nodding motion with his head.

Josh nodded back. "Okay." 

He leant forward so he was in Tyler's face, so close he was unable to fuzzily make out the sight of Tyler's eyes. 

"Josh," Tyler's breath was warm against his lips. "You're still not kissing me."

Josh's nose bumped Tyler's when he said, "I'm not sure of this is real though, what if this is a dream and I wake up and there's just disappointment." 

"Dude, maybe we're all dreams. But now's not really the time to have an existential crisis over it." Tyler sounded like he was regretting his decision. Josh really hoped he wasn't regretting his decision. "Just kiss me in this one and then in the next one and every possible dream you have."

"Okay."

There was a pause as they both stared at each other across the conveyor.

"... Josh, why are you sti-"

"But how are you so calm about this? What if this changes everything? What if it's really disappointing?"

"Oh my god, Josh. If it's bad, we'll keep trying. If it changes, that could be a good thing. If you don't want it to change anything, we don't change anything." The low frustration in Tyler's voice seeped through his usual sleepy tone. "But for the love of everything in this rundown store, please just kiss me."

Josh nodded, more in an attempt to fake confidence in himself than anything else. "Okay."

And then he rushed forward through the last sliver of space and knocked his nose into Tyler's.

"Really, Josh?" Tyler said with a hand clasped over his nose. Josh was rightfully mortified. "Never mind, just close your eyes. I'll do it."

Josh was running on autopilot at that point, so he just did what Tyler asked and shut his eyes and braced himself.

And okay, maybe Josh was a little too anxious and hyper aware of what was going on because he could feel Tyler's palms on his jaw, warmer than his current body temperature. He could feel the slight breath hitting the top of his mouth as Tyler sighed out through his nose. He could also feel the pressure of Tyler against his lips.

It wasn't amazing nor did it give him fireworks, in fact it was kind of uncomfortably awkward, with the conveyor belt pushing against his hip and his nose still throbbing from his previous mess up. But the knowledge that Tyler was kissing him had sent a thrill through his body.

Tyler leaned back enough that they could still make eye contact but close enough that Josh could still feel Tyler's breath tickling his wet lips. "How was that?"

"At least it tasted nice." It was true, even with closed mouths, Josh could taste the remnants of mint on his lips as he licked them.

"Oh my god," Tyler said, equal parts amusement and frustration. "You're such a nerd."

"Can we do that again?" Josh asked, wanting to feel Tyler's lips on his again. "Please?"

"Yes, of course." Tyler pulled away further, why was that happening, shouldn't he be leaning in closer again?

Josh let out a sound of confusion, a noise that was a little too close to a whine for Josh's comfort, as Tyler stepped away from the counter.

"Josh, calm down." Tyler started to walk along the conveyor belt. "I'm just coming over there so it's not as uncomfortable."

And yeah, that did sound like a good idea. Go Tyler and his smart ideas.

Josh held out his hand as Tyler came around to Josh's side of the register, wanting the familiar comfort of Tyler's warm palm against his.

They were both a little sweaty from nerves, so they wiped their hands against their pants before connecting together again.

Josh followed Tyler's tugging on his hand as he pulled them under the conveyor belt, the space that Tyler had fallen asleep in a couple of times. It was a bit of a tight fit with them both in the space, but Josh would never complain about Tyler being pushed up him against him. 

Tyler gave him a meek smile before placing his free palm on Josh's cheek again, pulling him towards Tyler. 

The second time their lips met was a lot more pleasant than the first. He was comfortable and surrounded by Tyler. His warmth. His scent. His love. It felt like the happiness inside Josh would well up and explode.

Tyler pulled back before kissing him again, slightly more toward his Cupid's bow. Josh kissed him back. Light presses against each other led to more faster, harder kisses.

Josh couldn't help the ecstatic giggle that came out knowing that he was kissing Tyler. Unfortunately, his giggle made Tyler smile, which in turn made Josh smile, to the point where they couldn't keep their lips together. 

The clacking of teeth together wasn't fun, but the joy that was overtaking Josh was amazing.

They couldn't stop the soft laughter that kept slipping out and ended up trying to muffle it in each other's shoulders. Josh squeezed Tyler's hand after he regained his breathing, sending him into another fit of soft laughter.

Josh pressed a kiss to Tyler's cheek, because he could do that, he was allowed to kiss Tyler. Wow. He was allowed to kiss Tyler. 

Tyler returned the gesture and soon they were softly competing in a game of making each other laugh with kisses and squeezes and small compliments. 

"You're so amazing."

Josh was in heaven. He didn't know how long they stayed there under the conveyor belt, exchanging kisses and happy glances, sharing smiles and squishes of hands. Slowly they stopped kissing and just rested together, hearing the world pass as they leant against each other. The silence of the night never feeling as peaceful as it was in that moment. 

"Why haven't you been fired yet for all the slacking off you do?" Tyler asked quietly, cutting into the soft moment they had.

"No one else is willing to do the shift." Josh whispered, tilting his head up more to look into Tyler's eyes. "Plus, I'm usually awake most of the time, enough to notice if someone is trying to steal something."

"True," Tyler said, "Your security guard is terrible. I could have stolen so much stuff by now."

"You wouldn't." Josh didn't believe Tyler was that kind of person.

"I wouldn't," Tyler agreed, "You'd get in trouble if I did."

"And we wouldn't want that?"Josh laughed quietly.

"No, we wouldn't." Tyler placed a kiss on his forehead. "I like spending time with you in this run down shop. You make the late nights less painful."

Josh closed his eyes, and let out a yawn. "Same to you, I never had this much fun working before I met you."

Tyler let out a hum of agreement that made his chest vibrate, a pleasant sensation Josh could feel against his head. Slowly, sleep fell over them as they lay there. 

The sound of Tyler's peaceful breathing and warm arms around his body, being the last thing he remembered.