Work Text:
Things are dim; the office, the sky, the world. Lena isn’t sure if it’s just her or not.
Her lights aren’t on, but it’s only because she can’t muster enough of herself to flick a switch.
The sky gives off a feeling of doom, a constant ombre, transitioning from deep maroon into light orange, like fire . Since National City’s most recent villain took over, everything feels like the end of the world.
To Lena it is the end of the world.
H’el had made his orders very clear. Supergirl was to give herself over. Alone. Promising not to cause any more destruction if she did so. It was clear that his word was not to be trusted. Lena doesn’t put it past the DEO to figure something out, but it feels harrowing. Lena knows there are very few ways to take down a kryptonian, and going alone, Kara will have few options.
It’s been only forty minutes since H’el had broadcasted city, if not worldwide.
Kryptonite seems to be the only option, and in this situation Kara will be in just as much danger as H’el. It lowers her chances of making it out.
Lena doesn’t start breathing again until she hears the flutter of a cape and the faint tap of boots against the balcony.
Lena fears that if she turns to face Kara, she’ll drown in her own despair before either of them can get a word out. Lena knows Kara. She knows what Kara will do in this situation without anyone saying it. Because Kara is Kara and she is brave and so entirely selfless that she’d give her life for a city that has tried to demonize her on countless occasions.
There’s a knock on the window by the open doorway. Kara is even considerate enough to make sure Lena notices she’s here before starting to talk, “Should I have called first?”
Lena finally turns to see her in all of her Supergirl glory, silhouetted gorgeously by the dim lights coming from near by buildings.
“You know you’re always welcome here.”
Kara nods, stepping further inside, eyes downcast to avoid Lena’s. “I assume you know?”
Lena clears her throat. “It’s a pretty hard thing to miss.”
The other woman sighs. “And you’ve also gone over what we’ve talked about in terms of kryptonian weaknesses?”
Lena can feel herself deflate, hope for another solution abandoning her body. “Yes,” her lip trembles. “What’s the plan?”
“Winn, uh-” Kara turns her head towards the window. Lena sees her blink away tears. “Winn is putting together a sort of... kryptonite bomb. Something I can carry it in and set off.”
“And?” Lena asks, questions, hoping the answer will be ‘ I get away. ’
“I stay with it. Make sure it does what it’s supposed to and that he doesn’t follow me away. Plus, even if I attempted to fly away after I set it off the potency will be too strong. I won't be able to get off the ground.”
Lena scoffs, fighting back the torrent of complicated emotions she’s not prepared to face when she’s about to lose the person they are aimed for. “Don’t. Don’t do this. Don’t go .” She voice cracks. She sounds angry and she is. It’s unfair for someone like Kara, who has already lost so goddamn much, to be ripped out of a world that she’s given so much for. Lena wants her to quit Supergirl now. It’s selfish and she knows it, but she feels like she should get to be, for once in her life.
“ Lena . You know that’s not me.”
“I know,” but she wants it to be. Desperately.
Kara Danvers had always been some sort of angel, light and giving and perfect . Invincible. Lena never thought she’d see a day where she wouldn’t be.
“This is it. The finale.” Kara leans back against the desk, hands coming up to grip the edges. Her knuckles go white. “I’ve done a lot of good in the past few years.”
“You do too much. You don’t owe anyone anything.” Lena insists, moving to copy her friend’s position.
Kara smiles sadly. “I know I don’t, but I care enough to do what others can’t to save lives. I need to do this.”
She would save lives. No doubt about it. Supergirl had always delivered on that front. The DEO had done their calculations and formulated a plan. If Kara went, a Kryptonite bomb hidden on her person, she could take H’el down, only problem being her own proximity to the deadly mineral. They are signing their own savior's death warrant.
“You don’t have to give in.”
A light hum of a laugh escapes the hero and a hand moves to touch Lena’s arm. It’s fond, but it’s a kind dismissal of the idea.
Kara won’t consider it, Lena knows, but she can’t help but try again. “You could run. Get away from here. You pass easily for human.”
Kara’s fingers linger on the back of her arm as she strokes. “You know I can’t do that. When I became Supergirl, showed myself to this city, that was a promise that I’m going to do whatever I need to to keep this it safe. No matter what . If that means I have to die-”
“ Don’t . I can’t bear to think about it.”
Kara’s skin leaves hers as she moves towards the balcony. “I’ll go if you like?”
“No!” Tears brim Lena’s eyes as she moves after her, going to grab her hand. “No… Just…” she doesn’t know what she wants. Then, looking into Kara’s stupidly crystal blue eyes, Lena realizes this is her last chance. She decides to take it. “Stay? I need one more memory before you-” She sniffs, dropping her head to look at her feet. “Before you go .”
“Of course,” Kara says, taking her hand. “Anything you want to do in particular?”
God yes . Lena wants to do so much. She wants to laugh. She wants to cry. She wants to cook and watch movies and read in silence next to each other. She wants to hug her, kiss her , love her .
Before she can make a decision, Kara does it for her.
“Lena…” Kara pulls their conjoined hands towards the center of the room. “Dance with me.”
The dark haired girl wipes a tear away with her free hand, moving to join Kara. “LCorp, music,” she commands, shakily, alerting the building’s system to what she needs. It beeps back. “Something soft.”
Kara smiles gently.
Lena steps closer.
Something soulful and piano filled starts and Lena exhales, trying to release her tension as Kara’s hands move to her hips. Lena hesitantly lifts her hands to Kara’s shoulders, making sure they rest just atop the place her cape connects with the rest of her suit.
The singer’s voice begins to fill the room and immediately Lena is overwhelmed with the emotion in it paired with the sadness weighing her down. It feels as though the weight of all the pain she’s ever felt is sitting on her shoulders. She wants to collapse beneath it. Let it crush her bones and suffocate her. It would feel like a gust of wind compared to the devastation Kara’s death will bring.
Her tears start to fall as Kara starts to sway back and forth.
Kara glances down. “Has anyone ever told you how good you look in this dress?” she asks, obviously trying to distract from the situation, but it’s true. The dress is a beautiful, a dark blood red that sticks out against Lena’s skin elegantly. It makes her jade eyes remarkably brighter.
“No actually. I’ve never worn it before.”
“Promise you’ll wear it again?” Kara asks. It’s an odd request, but Lena knows the other woman is trying to say ‘ don’t let me ruin it for you .’
Lena just nods. She’ll wear it again if Kara wants, but maybe not for a long while.
Kara’s lip pulls up, but it’s not happy. Her eyes endlessly move across Lena’s features, like she’s trying to memorize them.
“I worry about you. Try and keep in touch with Winn and Alex, okay?”
Lena hates the way it feels knowing Kara is skating around the word ‘ after .’
Kara brushes her thumb across Lena’s hip. “I know,” she whispers back, holding her tighter as they sway.
“Kara,” she sobs. “I- I lo-” She can’t get the words out.
“Shhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
“God, Kara, it’s not. It’s not .”
“Stop crying. It’s gonna be alright.”
Lena pulls Kara closer, lacing her hands behind her neck and hiding her tears against the heroine’s shoulder.
“Lena, stop. Pretend we’re not here. We’re far away and we’re safe. I’m safe with you. Come on, we’re having fun!” She forces laugher as she twirls them, attempting to make the occasion more joyful than it should be. “This is it. The time of our lives.” Her hand strokes comfortingly down Lena’s bare back.
Lena takes fistfuls of Kara’s heavy cape, hoping that maybe if she holds on tight enough she can keep Kara and this moment forever.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” The response is automatic. She’d take Kara’s place if she could.
“Step on my feet.”
This gets a tearful laugh out of Lena. “Isn’t that the opposite of what you’re supposed to do when you dance with someone?”
“Yes, but trust me .”
Lena pulls back, staring at Kara as she slowly picks up one of her feet, carefully setting one of her heels over Kara’s boots.
“Put your weight down, it’s okay. You’re not going to hurt me.”
She does and before she knows it, they’re floating towards the door. Lena doesn’t hold on any tighter than she was before, she trusts Kara not to let her go. It doesn’t matter that she hates flying, all she can focus on are her feelings towards Kara.
The cool air hits Lena’s face and the tear tracks down her face feel cold, so she puts her face back close to Kara, protecting it from the wind.
They start to drift up and away from the balcony, music fading away from them. Kara lets them spin leisurely, resting her own head on top of Lena’s and shutting her eyes.
The atmosphere changes around them, gradually getting colder as they drift. Lena doesn’t worry about it.
A siren from bellow barely reaches them, but Lena hears it enough to make her glance down. It doesn’t scare her as much as she’d expected it to. The city is bathed in soft lights from the moon and the streetlamps. There are no people out, barely any cars. From up here she can almost pretend no one down there needs Kara to give her life for them. “It looks so peaceful.”
Kara doesn’t even open her eyes. She’s familiar with what the her city looks like from up above. “Things are pretty good from here.”
Lena inhales a deeply, trying to trap as much of Kara in her lungs as possible.
Kara’s hair is soft against her cheek, her body solid and safe against Lena’s own. Lena wants to float thousands of miles above the city forever. She supposes it’s the closest to heaven she’ll get to.
Burring her head deeper into Kara’s shoulder, Lena whispers, “Do you ever think about growing old?”
“Well, considering there’s really only ever been one other kryptonian on Earth, I never really knew if it was possible or not. Clark still looks young after all of these years. Why?”
“I used to never want to get any older. I wanted to stay in my twenties forever.”
“And now? What changed?”
“Well, I thought I’d found someone I wouldn’t mind growing and living with. Someone I wouldn’t mind giving all of my years to. But, sadly, fate isn’t so kind.” She wants to wake up every morning with Kara by her side. She wants to bring her coffee and give her flowers. She wants her forever and always. Maybe, without this whole mess, they would’ve gotten married. Lena aches when she allows herself to imagine a wedding.
Kara wraps her arms tighter around Lena. If Lena didn’t know better, she’d say Kara kisses the top of her head.
“We don’t have much time left, so I need you to listen to me. I want you to stop beating yourself up for your family’s actions. You aren’t them. You’re so much better. Lena, you’re one of the of the best people I’ve ever met. Don’t forget that,” Kara murmurs.
Lena cries harder. The one person who had ever cared, who had ever trusted her and stayed, no matter what. Kara was her one and only unconditional . Now she’s losing her to the one thing she’d never expected to take the Girl Of Steel from her. Death, for once, was the unexpected variable.
“You deserve everything this world has to offer. Experience it all. Go where you want. See what you want. Eat what you want. Be with who you want. Don’t let anyone stop you.”
Lena hadn’t even noticed them descending, but suddenly Kara’s feet touch the balcony and everything gets level and solid and all the more real.
Suddenly Kara feels out of reach, even with Lena’s hands pressing into her neck.
“I miss you.” Present tense.
Head tilt, slow calming blink. “You are… so strong Lena. Don’t let me take you down with me. You’re going to do grand and beautiful things. Do better than even I have. Be the city’s new hero.” Kara places her hand on Lena’s cheek. “You won't even need a cape to do it, you’ve got all the tools you need.” Her thumb strokes Lena’s temple.
Savoring the feeling, Lena shuts her eyes again, trying to catalog everything Kara feels like for all the many days Lena now won’t get to have by her side.
Lena lifts her own arm, lacing her own fingers with Kara’s against her face.
“We’ll meet again, somewhere.”
“You know I don’t believe in that.”
“Believe in it a little. For me.”
Lena squeezes her hand. “For you? Anything .”
She lets go. “Good. I need something to look forward to, don't I?”
A panic sets in. Letting go means leaving. There’s still so much she needs to say. “Kara, I-”
“Lena…” Kara shakes her head, finally unable to hold back her own tears. “Please don’t say anything that will make this harder than it already is.”
As much as she wants to, Lena knows she can’t be selfish. She needs to give this up. It’s the least she can do for the woman who is about to save everyone. “Fine. I won't say it, but please promise me you already know.”
Instead of a response, Kara pulls something out of seemingly nowhere. “I have something for you.”
Plastic clicks against the concrete barrier of the balcony. Lena looks over. Kara’s glasses.
It’s so odd, but it feels like an entire life is being left with her. The glasses had been Kara’s way of being human, of being Kara , they are the key to the person she is. When she takes them off she’s more, she’s a figure, a martyr .
Kara is giving herself to Lena.
The symbol of it conveys more meaning than words ever could.
Before either of them can truly comprehend it, Lena is reentering Kara’s space, gaze never once faltering, bravery rearing it’s head in their final moments together, before finally she shuts her eyes and moves in. Lena isn’t being selfish, so she doesn’t do what she really wants, but she needs to show her gratitude.
The universe narrows to the lips against Kara’s cheek and the tears between them. The press is long and dragging, lingering because there are months of wasted time, decades of now non existent opportunity along and all of their unspoken hopes infused into one single touch.
When they finally separate it feels like black holes have opened up in both of their chests and the only thing that will stop them from total destruction is the other person, but of course, it’s not an option.
Lena should’ve expected it. Why should she ever get to have the one thing she truly wants?
Their visions trapped in an unwavering magnetism, blue and green focused entirely into each other, Kara finally starts to step away. She reaches the farthest point of the balcony away from Lena and just waits there a moment.
Neither of them wants to miss a single moment of their ticking time together.
Kara is so beautiful, hellscape background making her look perfectly virtuous. There’s heaven in her hair. Her cape is her wings. Her eyes are celestial and God, Lena doesn’t understand how she’d ever gotten within reach of something so divine, let alone gotten to love her .
A final nod.
Hard blinking.
Kara turns away.
Lena feels it like a kick in her chest.
And then boom, she shoots up into the air and it’s like nothing Lena has ever felt. The pain intensifies and rips and shreds and there’s nothing to anchor her.
She searches for words or actions or anything to make her feel less lost but all there is is empty air and Kara’s form getting smaller and smaller in the sky.
She’s going to love her until her lungs and heart still inside of her chest.
There’s nothing painful enough to describe the way it feels to watch her go.