Chapter Text
Something was not quite right with the scene in which Souda found himself. Muscular arms gripped him with an intense strength he didn't dare defy, unlike the gentleness he was used to from his girlfriend. Along with the scent of rust and metal from his workshop, there was a hint of men's deodorant and cologne coming from the person attached to him. The tears that stained the man's pristine, white jacket didn't bother him at all (or if they did, he didn't let it show). With each hiccup that came from the mechanic, the other man squeezed him briefly and allowed him to continue his sobbing. And for some reason-even though he was being comforted by a man-all of this was not something he could despise. Maybe it was the fever talking. Had to be. Souda Kazuichi was not attracted to men.
After a long while, the mechanic finished flicking the remaining tears from his eyes and scrambled away from the man beside him. He could tell his entire face was flushed from his fever, but there seemed to be another reason for his red face he couldn't pinpoint at the moment. Now that they sat a few feet apart on the bed, Souda could gaze at the man he'd met only a few days ago at the baseball stadium. Spiky, scarlet hair burned across the top of his head and resonated with Souda's palpitated heartbeat. Like a siren song, the mechanic couldn't help but be drawn to the baseball player's deep voice as he spoke.
"You okay?" Those simple words echoed from Leon's mouth, breaking the spell between them. A few bouts of uncomfortable laughter erupted from Souda's mouth, but this only stung his throat and brought more sickly coughing.
"Hey, man, maybe you'd better lie down..." Leon hesitantly uttered, his hands hovering around his companion, unsure of how or if he should touch the sick man. In the end, his calloused hands rested back on the quilted covers of the bed and he didn't press the issue any further.
Now that there was a lull in their actions and words, Souda peeked across at the baseball player and noticed his eyes fervid with curiosity. Right, he hadn't even explained anything. But he couldn't muster up the courage to talk about the incident yet. It still was a wrench in his heart that he couldn't fix. So, in shame, he turned his head away.
Maybe Leon picked up on his cues, or maybe his intuition told him something was amiss. Either way, Souda yelped as the man snagged his upper arm and lifted him into a standing position. What the hell was he doing?! Cheeks reddening, he was about to chew Leon out when the baseball player winked at him confidently.
"C'mon, we're goin' out, bro!"
Pfft, he probably didn't even have an idea of where to go. Still, Souda unsteadily jogged behind him. It took a lot more effort than he imagined it would to keep up with his fellow teenager since he'd heard rumours that Leon hadn't showed up to baseball practice even once. If he was this in shape then he probably worked hard during his free time to compensate for his lack of training. But did he? Maybe he was just naturally athletic and had the intuition to make the right choices during a baseball game. A real genius. Not like Souda, who'd been training in the garage ever since he was a child. Locking himself away in the musty area, shutting out everyone and everything in order to concentrate and block out his memories for a duration of time. Souda never would be a genius.
Well, it didn't take a genius to figure out that Leon had no clue where to hang out. Although they kept jogging down the streets, the baseball player's head swung every direction, taking in every shop or stall they passed. Breath caught in his throat, Souda had to cover his mouth to contain his laughter.
"Kuwata, it's okay, man. We don't have to go anywhere," Souda chuckled, tugging on jacket sleeve. "I'm fine, so let's go back to my little junk-filled garage." Even from behind him, the mechanic could tell how red his ears were getting! He became a little smug, knowing he took out a little of the genius' pride.
"S-Shut up, man! I already have something planned, alright?!" He trudged forward more impatiently, his eyebrows creased together. It seemed as though the mechanic's words had an effect on him, because the teen's face illuminated for a brief moment and he charged towards the nearest drug store.
"Wait here!" he commanded, plonking Souda down on the steps outside the store's front doors. Bewildered, he just went with the flow. For the next half hour or so he remained right where Leon had set him like a loyal mutt, but he was growing antsy. What the hell took so long to buy in a drug store?! Right when he struggled to his feet and marched up to the front door, the baseball player crashed into him.
"Watch it!" Souda scowled, brushing off his sleeve as if it had been smudged with dirt. Really, it was just to look cool.
"Hurry up or I'll leave ya behind!" The redhead retorted, barreling past him and ducking down a side street. Time for a game of cat and mouse, eh? This mechanic never backed down from a challenge!
It became apparent soon enough that the two were chasing each other further and further from the central plaza of the city and were now in the slums. Souda didn't notice it at first-he was too absorbed in trotting after the baseball player-but the putrid stench of unbathed, disease-ridden bodies soon seeped into his nostrils. Their journey was becoming increasingly dangerous with every step they took forward. Knees shaking, he desperately wanted to dash forward and warn his friend, but he couldn't find the strength to do so.
"K-Kuwata!" he managed to choke out, flinching away from a passerby that stepped a little too close to him. If the boy had heard him, he gave no notice that he did and kept jogging around the corner of the street. As petrified as he was, there was no way he was going to remain here alone. At least there would be one person to guide him; Leon wouldn't abandon him. Trusting in that, he rounded the bend and skidded to a halt on the asphalt.
"We're here!" Leon chirped, proudly waving his hand to the heaps of scrap metal towering above them. This was the...junkyard? To anyone else, this would have seemed like a cruel joke. For Souda, this was equivalent to paradise. As the sun began to dip in the sky, its final hours of light were reflecting off the rusting auto parts jumbled together; the sight made Souda speculate if this was how his cookie-cutter neighbors gazed at their wind chimes in the summer breeze. No matter where he looked, mounds of discarded tools stood before him and he longed to simply sit down and tinker to his heart's content. Ah, what could he build out of that bent bicycle? That new car he'd been working on could sure use that spare column switch. It was the junkyard, so maybe no one would notice if he snagged a few goodies on the way home…
Dammit, this place was so cool! It was definitely where he'd go Christmas shopping for himself come next winter. He was so passionate to work he had to forcefully grab onto Leon to keep his hands from caressing every machine he laid eyes upon.
"Hey, man, are you okay? You haven't said a word since we got here," his companion prodded, trying to snap Souda out of his sparkling daze. "I thought you'd like it here, but, well, I guess I was wrong. I'm so stupid! Who would ever want to go to a place like this?" Unsure laughter rang out from his mouth as the baseball player tried to brush off his error.
"No, it's perfect."
He'd underestimated the redhead-maybe he was more attentive than he'd figured. It was almost like they were friends. A slight smile mirrored his elated thoughts, and he stretched out his hand to steer Leon into a lone trailer car that appeared as though it would be perfect for investigating. Both of their strengths combined was enough to scrape open the rusted sliding door, leaving them to peer into the shadowy enclosure with a sense of uncertainty.
"Close your eyes."
"Why?"
"It's a secret, just close 'em."
The order made Souda scowl, but he obeyed. If it had been dark before, now it was simply a black void that drained away every fragment of light around him. It would be appropriate to call it 'nothingness.' Noises echoed around him and the mechanic deduced that his friend had braved the corridors of the trailer. Or, at least, his footsteps had carried him away from Souda. With every second that ticked by, images of the baseball player fleeing and deserting him flashed through his mind. What if he'd befriended the mechanic for the laughs and all this was simply a trap? It wouldn't be the first time.
Just as the loneliness crept into his heavy heart, a calloused hand tapped his arm and snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Open your eyes!"
Ghosts. There were fucking ghosts surrounding him. No, wait, they were just violet LED candles. They were positioned on top of tables and chairs alike and all had dusty curtains and tablecloths draped over them. If they weren't supposed to be ghost candles then he had no idea what Leon was doing with them. Fucking Leon and his fucking ghost candles scared the daylights outta him.
"What's wrong, man? You look like you've seen a ghost," Leon prodded, and the mechanic swore he did that on purpose. Just to get a kick outta him.
"What the hell are the candles for?" he hissed, jabbing a finger at the spectral silhouettes. To his incredulity, the soft glow of the candlelight was enough to betray the redness on the baseball player's cheeks.
"I thought it would be dark by the time we came here, so I stopped by the convenience store for these. But I've never bought candles before, so I wasn't sure what kind to get. It took me a while to find these, but I thought you'd like 'em," he mumbled, his fingers running through his hair-a gesture Souda interpreted as embarrassment. The mechanic's smile was lost in the dim lighting, but he plopped his butt down next to his companion and rested his head against his shoulder.
"Not to be gay or anything, but I like 'em. 'Cause you bought 'em just for me. I've never had a friend do that for me before." It was unsettling to admit this to someone so sought-after, but he regarded Leon as not only a comrade, but a guiding light that lead him outside of his confining shell. Someone who protected him. A bulwark.
"Why not be a little?" The voice belonging to his friend seemed oddly close to his ear, and he shivered.
"Be a little what?" he couldn't help but inquire, his curiosity bubbling up inside his warm body. Dammit, it was hot in here. Even though he knew the LED candles weren't heating up the room any, their romantic light seemed to kindle a fire within his chest and melt any rational thoughts he had away. With his shoulder brushing against Leon, his heart was dancing recklessly about and he couldn't pinpoint the reason why. After all, he was dating Sonia so there was no reason for him to desire anyone but the bottle-blonde bombshell. Right?
"Be a little gay," Leon susurrated, his hand stroking Souda's flushed cheeks. And when their heads dipped towards each other, the mechanic ignored the dissenting thoughts in his mind and jocundly allowed their lips to press together. A slight tang of something-bubblegum, maybe?-peppered his tongue as they both willingly shared this intimate moment. Leon fuckin' rocked at this make-out business.
"W-Wait," Souda coughed, managing to wriggle his hand between their mouths for a moment. Before his eyes, the baseball player he'd so admired looked like a complete mess. There was a desperate longing in his eyes, his hair unkempt (which Souda realized was his fault for his hands had been tangled up in it until just a moment ago), and a trail of saliva flecked his chin. And all of this was because of...him? There was no way a star baseball player could want him so much that he'd be this disheveled after one kiss. If there was a mirror in front of him, he figured he would definitely be just as bedraggled.
"I've finally got the girlfriend I've been wanting after so many years, so-" He was cut off by Leon snagging him by the collar and glaring at him.
"Your 'girlfriend' is still hung up over her ex-boyfriend! She doesn't truly love you and you know it. You can't win against a dead man!" The baseball player's voice was heated and his words cleaved through him painfully. He hadn't wanted to admit it after all this time, but he knew Sonia was only dating him to try to forget her love that perished long ago. There would only be room for one in her heart, and it was reserved by the deceased Gundam Tanaka.
"H-He died last year in a plane crash. That bastard had finally grown the balls to board the plane to visit Sonia-san. She couldn't leave her country to see him, so he promised her he would cross Hell and back for them to meet. He told me he was going to propose to her in her home country so the gods would accept their love. She waited six months for him to board that goddamned plane, and then...he died. Just like that."
Gross choking noises caught up in his throat as tears matted his cheeks. He and Sonia were the same-so devastated by Gundam's death that they could only seek comfort in each other. Their relationship was nothing more than a facade to camouflage their loss. Touching each other was merely pain, knowing fully well that what they were doing wasn't right.
"There's still time. Dawn hasn't broken yet, right? His spirit should still be there, so you and Sonia-chan can settle this!" Leon proclaimed, dragging the mechanic outside their candle-lit trailer car. As they dashed down the streets, Souda noticed that this time Leon wasn't jogging ahead of him, but kept pace next to him. Racing together, hand-in-hand, struggling to beat the sun's arrival, they were out of breath by the time they reached the coastline. And thankfully, the sky had yet to burst into the array of morning colours.
A figure was crouched down in front of the colossal headstone, which he instantly recognized as Sonia. Her grieving face paralleled his own, stained unceremoniously with tears. When she glanced up, their gazes locked and he crashed to his knees beside her.
"Tanaka...I don't think we ever hated each other. Sure, we argued a lot and were rivals ever since we met, but I never hated you. You kept me going. You kept us both going," he gestured to Sonia, "through the tough times. Without you, both of us lied to ourselves. We thought we could replace you with each other, and I'm sorry. I've come to realize that we both won't ever forget about you. We can't, no matter how painful it is. And so, I have to confess to you both that I've found someone I love as equally as you two. Sonia-san, I can never be the one in your heart, and you no longer can be the one in mine. We both deserve to move on from this standstill we've put ourselves in, don't you agree?"
"As the princess of Novoselic, I could not have phrased that better myself, Souda-kun," she proudly acknowledged, hastily wiping her tears away. "Our relationship has ended, and you are free to love Kuwata-san just as I still love my beloved Gundam." Tucking a strand of her golden hair behind her ear, she ducked forward and formally pecked Souda on the cheek. A simple gesture between companions. He realized he may not have been as friendless as he had previously thought.
And so the two of them quietly remained kneeling in front of the grave (with a strangely placid Leon behind them) until the sun peeked out from beneath the waves of the sea, surrounded by stray animals that had been drawn to the grave and the four little hamsters that Sonia had been raising in place of their master. Splashes of colour-lavender, vermillion, beryl, peach-swept across the ocean's surface, signaling that daybreak had arrived at last. Even though such a resplendent sight should be something celebrated, the two of them could only think of it as something bittersweet, for with the coming of dawn also came the time when the spirit of their loved one would need to return from whence it came.