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Letters to Bucky

Chapter 21

Summary:

Bonus Christmas Chapter!

Chapter Text

Their connection was tremulous at best– spotty at some moments, non existent at others, and Tony hated it with the type of soul deep loathing that he usually reserved for decaf coffee and sugar free cookies.

In a world with satellites and wireless routers and smart phones there was no reason why he shouldn’t be able to see his boyfriend in all sorts of crystal clear hi-def ways and yet here he was staring at a fuzzy screen and catching only every other word that Bucky was saying.

It was almost frustrating enough to call it all quits, but Tony hadn’t seen Bucky in weeks and phone calls weren’t really cutting it anymore, so the video had been attempted and almost instantly regretted.

“This was easier when I was writing you letters.” He said ruefully, and on the grainy screen, Bucky ran his fingers through his shoulder length hair and nodded, his mouth moving, the words coming in a few seconds later– “Sure was, honey, but–okay–anyway–miss–”

“I miss you too.” Tony bit back a sigh of frustration when the audio cut out again. “I’m not real happy that you’re halfway around the world from me a week before Christmas by the way. Especially since this is our first real Christmas together. Last Christmas you were deployed and I realize I can’t exactly blame you for that, but you promised you’d be here.”

“I know I did.” A smile from Bucky then, and Tony swore his heart skipped a beat or two. Damn his soldier was good looking. “Tell me–want– present– first Christmas together– something nice.”

“I don’t need anything.” Tony shook his head quickly. “Just you. Come home.”

“Hold– can’t hear– wait–”

The video cut out entirely, fuzzing into static and Tony tossed his phone onto the bed and groaned, scrubbing over his face and cursing under his breath.

He hadn’t been opposed to the whole super team Steve had put together after Bucky had been rescued, not at all, especially once Steve had offered him a place designing the gear the team would need.

Honestly Tony enjoyed being part of it all. Building tech for a couple super soldiers, a couple super spies, a doctor with breathtaking rage issues and the maybe-normal-but-still-a-badass Sam Wilson had taken over his entire life, and Tony loved every minute of it.

His soldier came home safe after every mission thanks to the armor Tony had specifically fitted to him. Steve had a shield that could damn near cut through a tank and yet weighed less than fifteen pounds thanks to something called vibranium that Tony had been ecstatic to get his hands on.

He had built an exoskeleton for Sam, wings that burst out of a feather light pack and could send the pilot blasting into the air in only a few seconds. Sam loved the wings, loved the red and gray suit and had more than earned his code name “Falcon” with the rescues he pulled off.

Clint and Natasha– married, terrifying, hilarious– were all but invisible thanks to the camouflaging nano-tech woven into their clothing, something that had cost Tony many many nights of sleep to perfect.

And Tony loved the work, he did. Out of all the ways the super soldier program could have badly, all the things that could have happened after Bucky was kidnapped and then rescued, all the ways things could have gone so terrible– a super team being formed was the best outcome anyone could have hoped for.

The downside of the super team, of course, was that Tony stayed home in the lab working on new designs while Bucky was off gallivanting the globe with his best friend and teammates, getting in dangerous situations and putting the super soldier serum to good use saving the world. A noble effort to be sure, but one that  meant they could weeks without seeing each other. Days without a phone call or even a text message depending on where the team was.

And Tony was a lot of things, but patient was not one of them. He wanted his boyfriend home and he wanted him close and he wanted him–

“Tony.” His phone clicked back on, the picture clear and sharp, Bucky’s voice coming through almost perfectly. “You still there baby?”

“Hey!” Tony snatched his phone back up and grinned down at the screen. “There you are!”

“There you are.” Bucky repeated, his smile so happy that it made Tony ache. “I climbed to the top of the building so I could get better reception, but I won’t be able to talk for long, there’s a storm brewing out behind us.”

“You know where you’d get even better reception with zero inclement weather?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “In our bedroom. Right next to me. Perfect reception every time guaranteed. Plus you know, then you’d be home for Christmas.”

“Sorry, sugar, but you know the war doesn’t stop just because of a day on the calendar. I gotta be where Steve and the rest of the team needs me.” Bucky glanced around behind him and shrugged. “Right now that means surrounded by sand in the middle of nowhere apparently.”

“Yeah alright, but what about where I need you?” Tony poked his bottom lip out in a faux pout. “Two years we’ve been together and you’ve spent most of it overseas. I’m starting to feel like you have an aversion to New York or something.”

“I can’t help that I was deployed when you started writing me, Tony.” Bucky chuckled at him. “I had to finish my tour, you know. And then I was MIA, remember that teeny tiny incident where I almost died?”

“And then you joined up with the super secret boy band.” Tony finished. “Yep. I know. I’m just saying, this is our first real Christmas together and you should be here with me.”

“Believe me, Tony, if I could be with you all the time, I would.” The video blipped and Bucky glanced around again. “Dust storm rolling in, Tony, I’m going to lose you here in a few minutes.”

“You know if we were married you could just be my stay at home trophy husband and you wouldn’t have to miss a holiday ever again.” Tony spoke louder when the sound got fuzzy again. “Something to think about!”

“Oh yeah?” There was that smile again, full of promise and love and all the other things that kept Tony waking up happy every single day. “Bucky Barnes, war hero, super soldier, trophy husband? Sounds like a plan to me. I could just be at home every day lounging across the bed waiting for you to walk through the door so I can find multiple ways to be useful for my husband, huh? Is that want the good trophy spouses do?”

Tony blushed bright red over the innuendo in Bucky’s voice and his soldier laughed over it, teasing something about, “All the dirty letters we’ve written each other and that makes you blush?”

“I dunno, been a while since you wrote me a dirty letter!” Tony shot back. “My virgin sensibilities have grown back.”

“Ain’t nothing virgin about your sensibilities, sugar.” Bucky laughed out loud, but took pity on Tony’s blush and changed the subject back to something less embarrassing. “What do you want for Christmas, Tony? Tell me so I can bring you something back.”

“I don’t need you to buy me anything for Christmas, Buck.” Tony rubbed his thumb over the screen, wishing they were closer. “All I want for Christmas is you.”

“Isn’t that a line from that Mariah Carey song? You’ve been playing it non stop in the background of our phone calls.”

“Damn you’re on to me.” The video was fuzzing out again and Tony shook his phone as if would help. “Bucky? You still there?”

“I’m here honey, but the storms getting closer so we’re gonna drop the call here quick.” He couldn’t see Bucky at all, but the sound still came through, Bucky talking louder to be heard over the static, “Let’s do this: I’ll make sure I’m home for Christmas, you make sure you’re waiting under the tree wearing nothing on but a bow, alright?”

“My my soldier, is that a hint of kink I detect?” Tony waggled his eyebrows, even though Bucky couldn’t see him. “Does being gone for so long bring our secret behaviors up, Master Sergeant Barnes?

“Don’t have to be kinky, Tony, just want it to be sweet. All I want for Christmas is you!” The screen flickered on just long enough for Tony to catch Bucky’s cheesy grin and he leaned in to press a kiss to the picture.

“You’re dumb and I love you.”

“You’re brilliant and I love you too.” Another flicker, and what looked like Bucky kissing the screen as well. “Listen though, maybe we should talk about–Tony– trophy– home all day– I mean it–can you hear–”

“Bucky?” Tony cranked the volume on his phone. “Bucky?”

“Honey I— rings– we should–Christmas—“

“BUCKY!”

The screen went black entirely and when Tony tried to call back, it wouldn’t connect at all.

“Damn it.” he flopped back onto the bed to sulk for a minute before turning and fighting his way through no less than two dozen pillows to find the Bucky bear that always slept on the pillow next to him. It was close to two am after all, and he needed to sleep but had sat up waiting to hear from Bucky.

Time zones suck. He thought, setting the Bucky bear up next to him.

It was terrible cheesy, the bear thing. It had started as a joke when Tony sent Bucky a “Tony” build-a-bear when he had still been deployed and had grown into something sentimental now.

The Tony bear went with Bucky on every mission, tucked into his bag and away from prying eyes, and the Bucky bear sat on the bed with Tony the entire time his soldier was gone. Once Bucky got home safe, the bears were put in their proper place on the dresser, paws touching, watching over the room.

It was sappy and romantic and probably stupid to anyone looking in at their relationship, but Tony and Bucky loved it. The best part of Bucky coming home from a mission was when both of the bears were sitting together on the dresser where they belonged, because that meant he was in bed with Tony where he belonged.

(Alright, maybe putting the bears up wasn’t the best part of Bucky coming home, but it was pretty high up the list.)

“Just gonna be you and me for a little while longer, Bucky bear.” Tony said with a frown, tapping his index finger over the little red star sewn onto the bears silver arm. “Just a little while longer.”

*****************

Somewhere sandy and in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles and several time zones away from where Tony slept in the penthouse, Bucky was barely making it back inside the building before a sandstorm hit, and he bolted the door behind him, shaking the dust from his hair.

“Buck.” Steve was marking out routes on a map when he finally made it into the kitchen area of the safe house. “Didn’t get caught by that storm did you? Did your call connect okay? How’s Tony?”

“Um, he’s alright.” Bucky answered distractedly, and Steve’s head snapped up, leveling his best friend with a frown.

“Just alright?” He folded the map and put it away so they could talk. “That isn’t what you usually say. What’s going on? Are you two okay?”

“Huh?” Bucky startled out of his daze and Steve raised his eyebrows pointedly. “Oh, oh yeah everything’s fine. Tony just said a few things that got me thinking, that’s all.”

“A few things like what?” Steve pressed, frowning sympathetically. “Is he having a hard time with you being gone?”

“Well yeah, but that’s normal.” Bucky scratched at his chin thoughtfully. “He was saying that he doesn’t need anything for Christmas, just wants me home.”

“Did you tell him we should be in Christmas Eve? Sounds like Sam found the info we needed so….” Steve let the sentence drop when it was obvious that Bucky wasn’t listening. “Bucky. What else did Tony say?”

“He um, he said something about a trophy husband.” Bucky said slowly. “And now I think I’m going to ask him to marry me.”

“You what!?” Steve jumped to his feet, a goofily excited grin on his face. “Bucky! You’re going to ask Tony to marry you?!”

“Yeah, I think I am.” Bucky finally smiled and Steve whooped out loud, pumping his fist in the air before tackling Bucky into a big hug. “Okay it’s not like a for sure thing yet so go easy, Stevie. Tony has to say yes first right? No use celebrating now.”

“The hell I can’t celebrate now.” Steve retorted. “Been waiting forever for you to fall in love with the right guy and Tony is definitely the right guy. I’ll celebrate as much as I want.”

Bucky tried to push him away, but Steve was pretty much immovable, glommed onto Bucky and trying to squeeze the life out of him, still talking excitedly about a wedding and rings and it’s about damn timeand I can’t wait to be your best man so Bucky just let it happen.

Steve had always been there for him, always.

When they were in junior high and Bucky realized he didn’t like girls. When they were in high school and he had cried after listening to what had been their other best friend spout homophobic nonsense all day, not knowing or maybe not caring that Bucky was gay. When Bucky had given his first time to some nameless guy, Steve had been there after for emotional support, letting Bucky talk it all out because they were best friends and that’s what best friends did.

Steve had been there when Bucky had started writing Tony, and had almost cried when they’d fallen in love because he was so happy that Bucky had finally found someone real.

And if when Tony said yes, Steve would be there as his best man on the wedding day.

“Alright, we can celebrate a little bit.” He said gruffly and Steve squished him tight enough to make him wheeze. “But only if you let me breathe!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Steve backed away, his eyes suspiciously bright. “I’m just real happy for you, Buck. You’ve been waiting a long time for–”

“Yeah.”

“–and when you found Tony, I–”

“Yeah, Stevie I know.”

“– and now you’re going to ask him to–”

“Yeah Stevie.” Bucky finally let loose the grin he’d been trying to hold in since deciding to pop the question. “Yeah, it’s amazing.”

“Tell me what I can do to help.” Steve said then. “I want to help. Whatever you need, I got it. We will make it happen.”

“Get a message to Pepper.” Bucky decided. “I have a few ideas, but I’ll need her help too.”

“I’m on it.” Steve rubbed his hands together excitedly. “This is going to be amazing.”

“My god, you’re a dork.”

***************

Bucky and Steve landed at Stark Industries Tower at 3 am Christmas morning.

Well, technically they had been in the country since about 9pm, but after saying goodbye to Clint and Nat and Sam, Bucky had needed to run an errand that involved Pepper specifically calling as the personal assistant to Tony Stark to demand ask that a certain high end jewelry store stay open as late as needed so Bucky could do some last minute Christmas shopping.

Important shopping done and other miscellaneous items acquired, it was only a few hours to sunrise before they finally set foot in the living room of the Tower.

“See you in a bit.” Steve said over a jaw cracking yawn, heading down the hall to the room Tony kept open just for him. “Don’t do anything without me, huh? I want to be there to see the proposal.”

“Yeah, Stevie.” Bucky was barely awake himself, dropping his gear in one of the closets and stumbling towards the elevator that would take him to Tony. “Won’t do nothing without you.”

Breathing a quiet thank you that his genius had designed an elevator that made absolutely zero noise, Bucky was able to step out of the elevator and into their suite silently, tiptoeing across the carpet to their room to peek in the door and see–

“Oh honey.” Bucky leaned against the door frame and just looked for a minute, his hand over his chest as his heart clenched. “God, you’re sweet.”

He hadn’t been home in over a month, and while he was gone Tony had redecorated the room entirely. There were rope lights lining the base boards, and lit snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. On the wall just above the bed, lights in different shades of green shaped into a tree, casting a soft glow onto the blankets and making the whole room look cozy and intimate.

Tony was curled up on Bucky’s side of the bed, the soldier bear clutched tight to his chest, clad in nothing but a pair of bright red briefs, a big bow pinned at the waistband.

“Wearing nothing but a bow for me, huh sugar?” Bucky bent over and kissed Tony’s cheek, smiling over the disgruntled noise the pretty brunette made. “Well then, Merry Christmas to me.”

“Bucky bear?” Tony blinked his eyes open in confusion, his voice soft and slurry from being asleep. “You’re home?”

“I’m home, Tony.” Bucky kissed him again, cupping his jaw and turning his head so they could get a proper one in. “I need a shower and then I’m going to come right to bed to be with you.”

“Nope.” Tony scooted over in the bed and made grabby hands towards him. “It’s Christmas and I’m wearing a bow. I held up my end of the deal, so you have to come to bed now.”

“I really need a shower, sweetheart.” Bucky ran his left hand over the tempting bow, letting the cool metal trail down Tony’s thighs and smiling as those dark eyes fell closed again. “But I’ll be back. I promised you I’d be home for Christmas and I’m here. Ten minutes, alright?”

“Ten minutes.” Tony agreed, and hooked his hands in Bucky’s uniform to drag him down for just one more kiss. “Then I expect some serious unwrapping, soldier. We are definitely overdue for this sort of thing.”

“So over due, baby.” It took all of Bucky’s self control to leave Tony lying there looking so beautiful in the Christmas lights, but he dragged himself to the huge bathroom to take a shower, cursing the sand that never seemed to wash away, breathing a sigh of relief when he could open the body wash that Tony always bought for him and actually start feeling clean.

It actually took less than ten minutes to scrub himself down twice and lather up his hair, but by the time Bucky wrapped a towel around his waist and went back out to their bedroom, Tony was already fast asleep again.

It worked out actually, Tony being asleep gave Bucky the chance to pull the Bucky bear out of Tony’s grasp and to retrieve the Tony bear from his bag. He set them both outside the door of the suite along with a note he had scribbled earlier on the plane, knowing Pepper would take care of everything else for him.

Now there was only one thing left to do before he could sleep, another overly cheesy thing that had started back when he was still enlisted and all he and Tony had were letters and one incredible night together.

As Bucky climbed into bed, he leaned down and mouthed gently over the scars that criss-crossed Tony’s chest, remnants of the accident that had brought them together in the first place.

Kissing away scars as ‘therapy’ had started out as a joke, each of them swearing that their scars were less and less obvious every time the other one spent any time kissing it, and with Bucky gone so much lately it had turned into yet another sappy welcome home tradition.

But Bucky loved this tradition, so he took a few minutes to press soft kisses into the mess of scars, breathing in the scent of his love and letting himself be happy he was home.

Tony stirred in his sleep and shuffled forward until he could get his lips on the still raised scars where the metal arm had been grafted into Bucky’s shoulder, whispering “Welcome home, soldier.” before drifting back off.

“I love you.” Bucky whispered back and gathered Tony close against his heart.

The unwrapping could wait until the sun came up.

****************

The sun came up Christmas morning and the hours ticked by and once ten am had come and gone, Steve and Pepper were seriously considering going upstairs and checking on the other couple just so they could actually open presents or at the very least start eating the Christmas goodies.

It was pushing eleven by the time the elevator doors to the penthouse finally opened and Bucky and Tony spilled out, arms around each other, kissing and smiling and talking quietly, a big red bow set haphazardly in Tony’s hair.

“Well it’s about damn time.” Steve cut into their conversation, and when Tony shot him a slightly loopy smile, his cheeks still pink from his and Bucky’s time in bed, Steve just sighed and motioned him in for a hug. “Merry Christmas, Tony.”

“Merry Christmas, Captain.” Tony let go of Bucky long enough to hug him, then to kiss Pepper’s cheek. “Pepper. Sorry, we slept in. Bucky didn’t get in until close to three and we needed to catch up on our–“

“Tony.” Pepper held up her hand. “I don’t need details on exactly what you and Master Sergeant Barnes were doing after he got home last night. It’s Christmas, so please spare my ears and for the love of God, don’t explain the bow.”

“Morning, Pepper.” Bucky kissed her cheek as well and Pepper flushed prettily under the attention from the handsome soldier. “Sorry we’re late.”

“It’s no problem, of course, it just gave me time to get everything situated.” she raised her eyebrows meaningfully at the last few words, and Bucky mouthed a thank you in her direction as Tony pulled him towards the recliner.

“Welcome home, Cap.” Tony added as he started rooting through the pile of presents. “Always happy when you guys make it home safe and sound.”

“Good to be home, Tony.” Steve replied easily, catching a package as it was tossed his way. “Thanks for keeping my room open.”

“You should just move in, you know.” Tony continued, handing Pepper a slim box that could only be the necklace she had picked out and put on hold for herself a few weeks earlier. “No reason for you to stay somewhere else, you’re practically family.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Steve grinned at Tony, reminded all over again of how great his best friends choice in boyfriends was.

“This is for you, babe.” Tony handed Bucky an ornately wrapped present and clapped a hand over Bucky’s mouth when he started to protest. “It’s not really a present, it’s more of a necessity, so don’t be upset. I followed the rules. We said no presents, this isn’t really a present.”

The package turned out to be a bottle of the very same whiskey they’d drank that very first night together, and Bucky kissed Tony as thanks, knowing they’d be drinking the whiskey together before bed tonight to celebrate being back together.

There were season tickets for the Yankees for Steve and Pepper had made Tony a book of homemade ‘coupons’ that he could redeem whenever he wanted her to get him out of a phone call or business meeting or going to a charity dinner and Tony was entirely too excited about it.

“One per month.” Pepper warned him. “One, Tony, and don’t you dare try to use more than that.”

“I pay you, you know, you work for me!” Tony retorted, and she replied with a calm, “Actually Tony, you turned over payroll responsibilities to me so you could focus on building again. Thank you by the way for my last raise, it was very generous.”

“You’re welcome, I think.” Tony laughed and she blew him a kiss before handing out more presents.

What was left of the morning slipped away as they all sat sipping at eggnog and munching on cookies, listening to the music as it played around them and making general plans for New Years Eve.

“Sweet thing.” Bucky nudged Tony when he started dozing off on his lap. “Tony, baby there’s one more present under the tree, go get it.”

“You go get it.” Tony drained the last of his eggnog. “I’m warm and comfortable and need a nap, so I’m not leaving.”

“Me going to get it means you have to get up too, baby.” Bucky dropped a kiss onto Tony’s hair. “Go on, go get it.”

“This better not be from you.” Tony warned as he begrudgingly retrieved the box. “I told you no special presents. The whiskey doesn’t count, that’s sentimental and we’re out of it at the bar anyway.”

“Just read the note, baby.” Bucky answered, and on the other couch, Steve elbowed Pepper, leaning forward with some excited grin

To Tony.” Tony read out loud. “I know we said we weren’t getting each other anything, but I couldn’t resist just one present. I wish I would have time to write you a poem to go along with it, but I was more focused on getting home and getting you—“ Tony tinged pink. “—getting you in my arms. Merry Christmas, I love you.”

Tony smiled as he tugged at the ribbon to open the present. “I love you too, Bucky. But also, I wouldn’t say no to a Christmas poem from you, it’s been a while since you wrote me poetry.”

“I’ll work on one tonight.” Bucky promised, and waved his hand towards the box. “Open it, come on.”

The package came open easily enough and Tony laughed in delight when he saw the Tony and Bucky bears tucked inside, both decked out in Christmas outfits and Santa hats.

“They are adorable! When did you get them changed?”

“Pepper helped me out.” Bucky inclined his head towards the pretty redhead and Tony blew her a kiss in thanks.

“Well I love them, thank you. This a perfect present. I bought whiskey and you dressed our bears up. Adorable.”

“Look a little closer, Tony.” Bucky said, quieter now as he stood up and Tony scrunched his nose at him in confusion, but looked the bears over carefully.

“Oh.” his mouth dropped open when he saw the tiny box held in the Bucky bear’s paw. “What is this–” his mouth dropped further when he saw the silver ring stitched onto the Tony bear.

“Um… Bucky?” Tony put the bears beneath the tree and turned back around. “Bucky, what’s going on?”

He covered his mouth with his hand when he saw Bucky down on one knee, an open ring box in his palm.

“Will you marry me, Tony?” Bucky asked, simple and straightforward, the diamond band glittering in the light from the Christmas tree. “Will you be mine?”

“Are you– are you serious?” Tony looked back at the bears and then down at the ring. “Bucky, are you serious?”

“Course I’m serious.” Bucky forced the words past the nervousness that Tony hadn’t said yes yet. “I know you said that I would be the trophy husband, but then all I could think about was seeing you with something sparkly on your finger.”

“Oh my god.” Tony whispered, and in the background Pepper started sniffling, plucking tissues from the box to dab at her eyes, and then handing a clean one to Steve.

“Bucky, I—“

“Making me a little anxious that you haven’t given me an answer yet.” Bucky tried to laugh. “I should have written you a letter huh? Will you marry me, check yes or no?”

“YES!” Tony shouted, and launched himself at Bucky to smother him in a kiss. “YES YES YES! Oh my god! This is amazing! Yes! Merry Christmas to ME!”

“Merry Christmas to us, baby.” Bucky corrected in between kisses, falling back into the floor and bringing Tony with him, grabbing at his hand and working the band into his finger. “Merry Christmas to us.”

They were yanked back off the floor by Steve, who lifted Bucky right into the air for a hug, then swooped Tony up for a gentler one. Pepper was still crying, kissing them both and hugging Tony tight, hiding her tears in his shoulder.

“Oh wait, wait!” Tony stumbled away from them and went back to the bears. “Wait, why doesn’t the Bucky bear have a ring? That doesn’t seem right!”

“Man gets engaged and he’s worried about his stuffed animals.” Pepper sighed. “Typical.”

“Well you know—“ Bucky grinned over Tony’s concern for the bears and flexed his left arm, curling the metal fingers into a fist. “I figured I wouldn’t wear be able to wear one.”

“The hell you won’t.” Tony folded his arms crossly. “I built your arm remember? You think I can’t design a ring that welds onto your finger?”

“Welds, huh?” Bucky pretended to grimace. “You want to weld something on to me, sweetheart?”

“Just the one thing.” Tony countered, snuggling back into Bucky’s arms. “It’s not like I’m ever going to let you take it off.”

“I won’t ever want to take it off.” Bucky promised and they kissed again, soft and slow and full of a million promises.

“So you’ll put one on the bear?”

“Sure thing, sweet thing.”