Chapter Text
The headboard creaked and groaned under their weight. Hands roamed and explored each other's bodies and soft skin. The air in the room grew heavy as they could both feel the humidity rising. Discarded garments were spread throughout the room. Smoke from outside was creeping its way into the rundown building and slowly suffocating the two of them. In the distance, they could hear gunfire and agonizing screams. Despair was delightfully delicious…
THUMP
“Gah!”
‘That dream… it was so vivid and clear. So, why can’t I remember what it was about?'
Hajime suddenly found himself on the floor tangled in his bedsheets. He could hear the ocean’s soft waves and the squawking of the seagulls. Hajime jumped when he heard loud knocking at his door.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“Yo, Hajime! Get your ass outta bed!” Fuyuhiko yelled through the cottage door, “Teruteru's about finished making breakfast, so you better hurry before Akane stuffs her face with all of it.”
Hajime rolled his eyes, “I'll be right there.”
After struggling to untangle himself from the bedsheets, Hajime slowly walked over to the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on his face.
Hajime slapped his forehead, “What the hell is wrong with me?”
‘Numerous things,’ a stoic voice mirroring Hajime's own replied, ‘Would you like me to list the first ten?’
“Don't you start, Izuru,” Hajime groaned, “It's way too early for you to start causing problems in my life.”
‘According to my calculations based on the position of the sun, it is approximately nine in the morning.’
Hajime raised an eyebrow, “Your point being-?”
‘You have wasted enough time sleeping,’ Izuru hissed, ‘Do not forget you are using up my existence as well.’
Hajime glared at his disheveled appearance through the mirror, “Don't get mad at me. You're not the one who has to manage all this hair.”
‘I prefer having my hair at this length rather than that ridiculous haircut,’ Izuru snapped.
“At least I didn't have to waste so much time and shampoo on it!” Hajime retorted.
‘Perfection must never be rushed.’
“Shut up,” Hajime began to unbutton his pajama shirt, “I'm taking a shower.”
At the Restaurant…
“Hajime!” Souda waved him over, “I saved your seat!”
Hajime set down his tray next to Souda, “Wait, you are Hajime, right? Not the other guy?”
“The one and only,” Hajime took a sip of orange juice, “Why are you here by yourself?”
“Uh, no reason,” Souda rubbed the back of his neck, “Can't a guy enjoy some solitude?”
Hajime raised an eyebrow, “But, it's not solitude if I'm with you.”
‘The fool actually underestimates my intelligence,’ Hajime could hear Izuru scoff in his head, ‘It is quite clear he is a liar.’
‘Don't you mean our intelligence?’ Hajime thought back.
‘I was not aware you had any.’
Souda playfully slapped Hajime's back, “Dude, it's called being alone together.”
Izuru murmured, ‘Hajime, teach him what happens when we are provoked.’
‘I'm not going to attack my friends just because someone hurt your feelings. In case you haven't noticed, we're being closely scrutinized by the Future Foundation.’
‘The Future Foundation can easily be taken care of,’ Izuru reassured him.
Hajime rolled his eyes, ‘This coming from the guy who got captured by them.’
“Hello?” Souda waved a hand in front of Hajime's face, “Anyone inside there?”
“Is he still out of it?” Akane set down her tray full of food and munched on a strip of bacon.
“Pretty much,” Souda eyed Akane as feasted, “Aren't you going to eat breakfast with Peko and Ibuki?”
Akane stopped eating for a moment, “It's just hard, you know? Seeing them again after…”
“Seeing who?” Hajime asked.
“It's about time you came back into the world of the living!” Akane exclaimed.
“Dude, you've been spacing out lately,” Souda eyed his friend, “Are you okay, man?”
‘Ignore him, he will only use us for his own means.’
‘Not everyone is out to get you.'
“There he goes again,” Souda shook his head, “You should probably see someone about that.”
“Huh?” Hajime blinked.
“You just spaced out again,” Akane informed him, “It's kind of like you're on another planet sometimes. But, it was a lot shorter this time.”
“Oh, that,” Hajime realized, “Izuru likes to pester me sometimes. He's been getting more and more talkative lately.”
“So, like, you can speak to him through your mind?”
“I mean, he is in my head already so…”
“Dude, that's so awesome!” Souda stopped smiling when he saw Hajime’s frowning face, “Wait, what's the matter?”
Hajime stared down at his plate, “I could've sworn I got two slices of toast.”
Hajime looked up at Akane only for her to look away as she innocently wiped some crumbs off her face.
“Akane,” Hajime asked, “Why are you here?”
Souda groaned, “That's pretty harsh even if she did eat your food, man.”
“Now, what's that supposed to mean?” Akane glared at him.
“Don't you usually sit with Ibuki and Peko?” Hajime clarified.
“That's what I just asked her, man!” Souda groaned, “You need to stop talking to the voice in your head and pay attention to what's actually there in front of you.”
“You're making it sound like I'm crazy,” Hajime accused Souda.
“Aren’t we all a little crazy?”
Akane sighed, “Geez, does it matter where I sit so much?”
“Hold on, you aren't avoiding them, are you?” he took a bite out of his toast, “You can't run away from the people that care about you,” Hajime felt some unsettling stares as he reached for the napkins in the center of the table, “What?”
“Are you serious?” Akane deadpanned, “You're the last person who should be speaking.”
“Hypocrite,” Souda muttered under his breath before resuming his drink.
“How am I a hypocrite?” Hajime snapped.
“Oh, I don't know,” Akane rolled her eyes, “Maybe it's because you've been avoided Nagito ever since he woke up.”
“I haven’t been avoiding him.”
“Then, when's the last time you’ve talked or spent some free time with him?”
“I've talked to him,” Hajime protested, “Just yesterday, we chatted at the beach.”
“That's small talk,” Akane pointed her fork at Hajime, “You haven't had a real conversion with him since the Neo World Program.”
Hajime crossed his arms, “Your situation and mine have nothing to do with each other.”
“Yeah, that's because yours is even worse than hers,” Souda retorted, “You've loved Nagito since what? High school? Then, you two got all close and chummy even when you forgot who you were to each other with our memories being temporarily gone.”
“And what's your point?”
“The point is that you just dropped him after everything the two of you have gone through.”
“We haven't broken up or anything,” Hajime hesitated, “Things are just… complicated.”
“Complicated my ass,” Souda played with his food, “Dude, everyone could see how heartbroken you were when it came time for our last trial.”
Hajime snapped, “Then, how come you're not chasing after Sonia?”
“Because she likes Gundham, okay?” Souda pushed his plate towards Akane, “You can have the rest if you want.”
“Thanks for the food!” Akane hastily dug into the leftovers.
Souda looked away Hajime, “Do you want to tell me how much of a dumbass I’ve been?”
Hajime loosened his tie, “Souda, I'm sorry-,”
“Hajime,” Akane looked directly behind him, “You said you aren't avoiding Nagito, right?”
“I told you already, I'm not-,”
Akane crossed her arms, “There's your chance then.”
“What?”
“Speaking of the devil…”
‘Approaching at eight o'clock.'
‘Eight o'clock?’ Hajime raised an eyebrow, ‘The hell are you prattling on about? It’s ten.’
“Hajime?” Hajime felt someone tap his shoulder.
He turned around and found himself face to face with a familiar white-haired boy, “Nagito!”
“Ah, sorry,” Nagito shoved his hands in his pockets, “I didn’t scare you, did I?”
“Just a little bit startled,” he reassured Nagito.
“That’s quite unlike you, Hajime,” Nagito studied Hajime’s face, “I hope you’re sleeping well.”
“I’m fine. Just been on edge lately,” Hajime began to drink his orange juice.
“Is there anything I can do to help, Hajime?” Nagito asked.
__________
The door gradually opened, “Kamukura, now what can I do to help you?”
A hand pushed the door wider as the formal wearing man strode inside, “You presume that I am inadequate at solving my own problems.”
“Of course,” the albino smiled at him, “If that’s not the case, why else would the talented Kamukura dare step into the servants’ quarters?”
“You act quite assertive for one who calls himself Servant.”
Servant’s unapologetic smile still remained on his face, “I humbly apologize for overstepping my boundaries then. An ultimate like you should never have to put up with the likes of-”
THUMP
Servant was pushed onto the bed before he had a chance to process, “Aren’t you the one being the forceful one now, Kamukura?”
Izuru pinned him down, silently staring at him.
“Tell me, Kamukura,” Servant coyly smiled, “Why would you, someone full of hope, dare associate yourself with a worthless servant?”
Izuru leant in to the point where he could feel Servant's warm breath against his own lips, “Shall I continue or take my leave since there are better uses of my time?”
“Well then,” a hand crept up to brush Izuru's hair aside, “I can't possibly refuse now, knowing full well I'd only waste your time if I don’t comply-”
“Too noisy,” Izuru firmly pressed his lips against Servant's and quickly closed the distance between them.
__________
Hajime coughed violently as his shaky hand struggled to put down the glass.
“Dude, you alright there?” Souda worriedly glanced at his friend.
“J-just went down the wrong pipe,” Hajime wheezed.
“I know how to do chest compressions!” Akane exclaimed, “Leave it to me to save our Hajime!”
Nagito gave her a forced smile, “I think your strength might just crush his ribs instead.”
“You better not die on us,” Hajime coughed as Souda patted his back, “We didn't come this far for you to kick the bucket like this.”
“A-are you really alright, Hajime?” Nagito placed his forehead against Hajime's, “It doesn't seem like you have a fever.”
Hajime yelped back from the sudden intimate contact and the chair clattered to the floor along with himself.
“Hajime!”
“Ow,” Hajime winced as he rubbed the back of his head.
Souda whistled, “That was a pretty nasty fall.”
Hajime slowly got up and brushed the dust from his jeans, “I'm alright. Nothing to worry about.”
Nagito offered his hand out to Hajime, “Are you trying to emulate Mikan, Hajime?”
Hajime gave a strained laugh, “I'm not nearly as flexible.”
Akane flexed her arm, “Me and the old man have been doing some early morning training. If you want, you can join us.”
“I'd rather not.”
“Who wouldn't want to train with the Super High School Level Manager and Gymnast? It's the chance of a lifetime!”
“In case you haven't noticed,” Souda pointed out, “we aren't exactly in high school anymore.”
Akane turned to him, “What about you, Souda?”
“I'll pass.”
“Come on!” Akane slammed her hands on the table, “Why doesn’t anybody want to join?”
“I'll take this as my cue to leave,” Hajime headed towards the exit.
“Hajime,” Nagito touched his shoulder, “Will you fine on your own?”
He moved away from his touch, “Like I said, I'm fine. Just leave me alone.”
Nagito retracted his hand and only watched him leave with a dull ache in his chest.
Outside the Restaurant…
Hajime closed the door behind him as he sunk onto his knees, “What the hell was that?”
‘Was that a memory I saw just now? Is that even possible? How can I even see Izuru’s memories, let alone experience them? Has he seen any of mine? No, he probably would’ve brought it up by now. This has got to be something new. Maybe if I bring this up to Makoto, he might know what to do. But, telling him might be more evidence for the Future Foundation to kill us.’
“Hey!”
“Huh?” Hajime jumped up at the voice.
“Geez, have you lost your hearing? How many times do I have to call you to get an answer?”
“Sorry about that…” Hajime rubbed the back of his neck.
Mahiru put her hands on her hips, “Your face is really red. You aren’t coming down with a fever, are you? Because if you are, it’s your responsibility as a man to isolate yourself to prevent spread of your germs to the rest of us.”
“I’m not sick!”
She shook her head, “You should have learnt some manners by now, Hajime.”
“You’re the one yelling at me for no reason.”
“If you aren’t sick, then that half-assed stunt you pulled earlier was to get away from Nagito, am I right?”
“It wasn’t a stunt!”
“Right,” Mahiru rolled her eyes, “Speaking of illnesses, I need you to do me a little favor.”
“Why is it always me? Why can’t you find someone else to act as your little guinea pig?”
“Because right now, you’re the only person I can trust with this task.”
Hajime groaned, “What do you want?”
“I need you to bring Mikan her dinner later.”
“Didn’t Nagito already offer?” Hajime raised an eyebrow.
“If we let Nagito near her, there’s a chance he might fall back into despair. Honestly, I don’t know if he’s in despair or not. Maybe he’s just teetering around the edge. I’ve heard from the others that he and Mikan worked very closely with her,” she shivered, “It’s only until she gets a little bit better.”
Hajime scoffed, “And you really think she’ll get better?”
“We all will,” Mahiru glared at him, “Now, get your butt up and move. You’re blocking the side door.”
At Mahiru’s Cottage (Bathroom)…
SPLASH
“Geez, I don’t really don’t get what you saw in him, Big Sis.”
“You should know, Hiyoko. We’ve all seen how he brings out the best in all of us.”
__________
Mahiru struggled and pulled against the flapping bedsheets. As she battled the fierce, raging winds, the redhead spotted a familiar someone running past.
“Hajime! I need a little help here!”
“Uh, I'm kind of busy. Can't it wait?”
“Unless you want everyone's bedsheets flying away, I suggest you help out now. I need you to hold the bedsheets in place while I clip them onto the clothesline.”
Hajime reluctantly complied, “Why're you hand washing when you could just be using the washing machine?”
“You'd rather trust the psychotic stuffed bear who's encouraging us to murder each other to clean our clothes?”
“Not really, but…”
“But what?” Mahiru used the clothespin on the last of the sheets.
“It's a lot more convenient if you-”
“You're thinking about convenience at a time like this? Two of our friends are dead,” Mahiru jabbed a finger at Hajime's chest, “I swear you've got to be more screwed up in the head than that Nagito guy.”
“He's not all that bad.”
“He tried to kill Byakuya and set up Teruteru,” she scoffed, “How's that not bad?”
“I didn't say he's excused from doing those things, but there's a chance he could still become someone better.”
Mahiru put her hands on her hips, “You really are looking for trouble if you're searching for that guy.”
“I just think he's a little misunderstood that's all.”
“I really do hope you're saying that as a sincere person and not because he's brainwashing you.”
“I'm not being brainwashed! I just don't know why, but I really do feel like I should be by his side.”
Mahiru sighed, “Well, at least you can keep an eye on him.”
“You've been sighing a lot lately, Mahiru. Not to mention, you look pretty out of it.”
“Don't you have some manners, Hajime? It's completely rude to speak to a girl like that.”
“I just think you should try getting a little bit more rest.”
“It's not like I can sleep after all that's happened,” she admitted.
“Hey, at least try. Your health should be your number one priority.”
“My health is none of your business. If anything, it'd be Mikan's job since she is a nurse.”
“I guess so, but…”
“This again, Hajime? At least use full, complete sentences if you’re going to talk.”
“I know I don't have a right to, but I really do care about you…”
“W-what?” Mahiru felt her cheeks heat up, “D-do you really mean that?”
“Yeah, I mean it,” Hajime rubbed the back of his neck, “You and the others mean a lot to me.”
“The others?”
Hajime nodded, “I know it's difficult with our current situation, but I'd at least like for everyone to try and get along. Being at optimum health also improves your attitude.”
“Just what's wrong with my attitude?”
“N-nothing at all!” Hajime held his hands up defensively, “It's just that sometimes you can get a little…”
“A little what?” Mahiru warningly asked.
“Uh, I-” Hajime gulped under her intimidating glare.
“A little what, Hajime?” Mahiru repeated again.
“Look, Mahiru!” Hajime held out a blonde doll in a violet dress, “I won this from the MonoMono Machine.”
“Wow,” Mahiru’s focus shifted onto the porcelain doll, “She looks so beautiful.”
“It's supposed to be an antique or something,” Hajime held the doll out to Mahiru, “Here, you can have it.”
She looked up at him, “But, you just said this doll is an antique. I'm sure you could find a better use for her than just handing her over to me.”
“Yeah, but I'm not really into collecting dolls.”
Mahiru raised an eyebrow, “Haven't I seen you going around collecting some of those bear plushies?”
“Those two are completely different!”
“If you say so,” Mahiru rolled her eyes, “Anyways, are you really sure you should be giving her to me? She's quite valuable, you know.”
“You're the right person,” Hajime beamed, “I just know you are.”
“But still,” Mahiru cautiously reached out to the doll, “I don't think I can possibly accept this.”
“Just think of this as a gift from me to you.”
Mahiru blushed as she carefully cradled the doll, “T-thank you.”
PING
Hajime looked down at his e-Handbook, “It looks I got another one of your hope fragments.”
“I didn't know we were still collecting them from each other.”
Hajime looked deep in thought, “I think this is what Monokuma meant when he said he could only add onto Monomi's rules.”
Mahiru quietly mumbled to herself, “Geez, does that mean I have to talk to everyone on this island? I'd rather be taking pictures out on the beach.”
“Ah, I'd better get going now. I wanted to spend some free time with Nagito for a bit,” Hajime waved as he ran past, “Let's spend some more time together later, alright?”
“W-wait, Hajime!”
Just as Mahiru called out, the wind from early before howled overpowering her. Again, she desperately tried to reach her voice out to Hajime. The bedsheets fluttered through the air and enveloped her in a blinding white. By the time the winds calmed down, it was far too late.
‘Where does he get the nerve to just leave all of a sudden like that? Why couldn't he just stay for a bit longer? He's always chasing after Nagito, even for the littlest of things. I know we barely know each other,’ Mahiru thought as she clutched the doll tight, ‘But, why does my heart ache every time I see him walk away?’
__________
“Then, why don't you go after him?” Hiyoko asked as she washed her hair, “Everyone knows they've broken up already.”
“It was just a small crush.”
“That you had a few weeks ago,” Hiyoko pointed out, “Feelings don't go away that easily.”
“But, they do go away at some point.”
“Then, the same can be said about Hajime's and Nagito's.”
“That's not what I-” Mahiru sighed, “When I was stuck in the program, I had no idea who Hajime, Nagito, you and everyone else were.”
“So, you and Hajime are friends,” Hiyoko stated, “I don't get what the big deal is. Friends date each other all the time.”
“And you're also forgetting that friends don't steal each other's boyfriends!”
“Wait, you're calling Nagito your friend? Are you seriously forgetting what he did the moment the Killing School Trip was announced?”
“I know what he did, what all of us did. But, it doesn't make it right to steal someone's happiness away.”
“Well, they aren't exactly happy at the moment, are they?”
Mahiru scrubbed herself with soap, “They'll overcome this hurdle, as always.”
“But, you never know. He might-”
Mahiru cut her off, “Even if there was the slightest chance of us going on a date or getting married, he'd never truly be happy. In the end, Nagito is probably the only person he’ll ever love.”
“I still think it's weird how defensive you've suddenly gotten of their relationship,” Hiyoko muttered under her breath.
SPLASH
Hiyoko squealed when she felt a bucket of water was poured onto her head, “It’s freezing!”
“By the way, Hiyoko, aren’t you a little too old to have someone take a bath with you?”
As Hiyoko grumpily reached for her towel, Mahiru began to ponder, ‘Now that I think about it, that was probably the last time I’ve seen him genuinely smile.’
Outside The Cottages (7:31 pm)…
“Ugh,” Hajime groaned, “Why am I always the one she picks to bring people their food?”
‘You had several opportunities to refuse. Yet, you continue to do the task even though you certainly despise it.’
‘It’s not that,’ Hajime thought as he looked for Mikan's cottage, ‘It's just that I could've had plans for tonight.’
‘You made prior arrangements?’
‘No,’ Hajime admitted, ‘But I still could’ve been doing something else.’
‘Could it be… you fear someone as insignificant as her?’
He knocked on the wooden door, “Mikan? You in there?”
Hajime heard some quite shuffling before hearing the doorknob ever so slightly turn. The door creaked open as it was gradually being pulled back. Mikan stepped out from the shadows.
“Hajime,” she giggled, “How are you?”
Hajime carefully eyed her, “You doing alright there, Mikan?”
“Of course.”
“That's good, I guess,” he awkwardly replied.
“Now, what brings you here, Mr. Ultimate Despair?”
Hajime swallowed, “I'm not… We're not part of the Ultimate Despair anymore.”
“Oh,” she mused, “Is that what you've been telling yourself?”
“It's the honest truth,” Hajime scowled at her.
“That's not a nice face to make, Hajime,” Mikan smiled, “Are you still sad that your boyfriend dumped your sorry ass?”
“W-what?” Hajime's hands shook as he clutched the tray tighter, “We're still together, you know.”
“Hmm, it doesn't seem that way to me…”
“Why don't you mind your own damn business?” Hajime snapped back.
“But this is my business. I thought we're friends, Hajime. Aren't friends supposed to look out for each other?”
“You don't really think that or else you wouldn't be antagonizing me.”
“Do you really think no one notices, Hajime?” Mikan's hands clasped Hajime's trembling ones.
“Y-you’re wrong,” Hajime mumbled.
“Am I?” she asked, “Just because someone doesn’t say something out loud, doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
“That doesn't mean anything!” he shot back.
Mikan leaned in closer, “I don't blame you for discarding him. After all,” her hot breath whispered into his ear, “only my dear beloved could love something so broken.”
__________
Izuru slowly stirred from another dreamless slumber. He blinked open his eyes as he adjusted to bright light on the ceiling. Judging by the red velvet blanket, he wasn’t at his usual place of residence. Was he captured by the Future Foundation? No, it was highly unlikely for them to treat any of the Remnants of Despair with such luxury. He heard a familiar voice softly singing.
Izuru followed the voice to the corner of the bed, “I was unaware you were able to sing.”
“Singing?” Servant chuckled, “It sounds like sandpaper is being scraped against my eardrums. I didn't realize I was bring that loud. I hope my voice didn't disturb you that much.”
Izuru's eyes trailed down and landed on Servant's lap, “Is that my jacket?”
Servant nodded as he pulled a needle through the other side of the jacket, “There's a small tear on the left shoulder. Was it made by a knife, perhaps? Couldn't be. I didn't see any wounds on you.”
“Of course not. I am not careless enough to let myself get wounded by such inferior beings.”
“So, they almost hurt you, huh?” Servant sighed as he snipped the end of the needle’s thread, “How disappointing.”
Izuru looked over at the nightstand, “You have already washed and ironed my clothes.”
“Though I may be useless and worthless, I hope you’re fine with me touching your clothes.”
The room was deadly silent aside from the rustling of fabric, “Kamukura, I didn’t overstep my boundaries, did I?” Servant nervously stammered, “I-if you want, you can take off those clothes and wash them yourself.”
“And why would I do that?” Izuru continued buttoning his shirt, “That would only waste more time.”
“I see…”
Izuru studied the oddly patterned grey carpet, “Where am I?”
“The Warriors of Hope’s secret base, the Excalibur!” Servant paused, “It’s a miracle we haven’t dropped out of the sky yet.”
Izuru looked at Servant curiously, “What exactly do you mean?”
“It’s a wonderful airship skillfully designed by the Towa Group.”
“I do not recall boarding an airship.”
Servant grabbed Izuru by the shoulders, “You wouldn’t happen to be forgetting things again, would you?”
Izuru raised an eyebrow, “When have I forgotten anything?”
“N-never mind,” Servant released him from his grasp.
“When have I forgotten anything about the Princess?”
“I’m not talking about Sonia,” Servant huffed, “Just forget what I said, alright?”
“You are implying that I have forgotten something or made a mistake,” Izuru eyed Servant, “I never make mistakes. I am perfection at its finest.”
“Here,” Servant held the jacket out to Izuru.
An uncomfortable silence grew amongst the two as Izuru only stared, unmoving at the sight of the jacket.
“I-is something wrong, Kamukura?” Servant cautiously asked, “D-did I mess up on the stitching? Or perhaps you’d rather not touch it, now that I have?”
“Your talent…”
“Are you still going on about that?” Servant chuckled, “I told you not to concern yourself over something so trivial.”
“I believe to have narrowed it down. Though, I do not know what it exactly is,” Izuru said as he examined the stitching.
“I would love to see your hope shine!” Servant beamed, “Tell me, what’s my talent?”
“It is possible you have the title of Ultimate Housewife.”
Servant crossed his arms and huffed, “Clearly you aren’t as talented as you believe, Izuru.”
Izuru blinked, “You called me by my first name.”
“Huh?” Servant nervously swallowed, “S-sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“I prefer hearing you say it than my surname.”
“Surely, I can’t just-”
Izuru cut him off, “You refer to the other Remnants by their first name.”
“But, that’s different…”
“How?”
Servant bit the inside of his cheek, “They’re people I’ve known for a really long time.”
Izuru continued to interrogate him, “You do not know Enoshima for that long, yet you call her by her first name.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” Servant suddenly sat up, “It’s about time for the next broadcast of ‘Killing School Life’ to begin.”
“Changing the subject will not help you.”
Servant sighed, “What do you want so badly, Kamukura?”
“For you to cease referring to me in that manner,” he hissed, “Why am I the only you refuse to call by first name?”
“Is it that big of a deal?”
“If it were not, you would have addressed me by given name.”
“Well, I can’t just do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because that isn’t your given name, is it?”
“What do you-?’
“Izuru Kamukura,” Servant placed the jacket besides him, “That’s the name Hope’s Peak Academy gave you, right? But, I wonder… Did your parents ever give you a name?”
“I-I have a-”
“Wow, I have never heard you stutter before. You always know what you want to say before you utter a single word,” Servant strode over to Izuru, “Could it be that I’m making you nervous right now?”
“I-I am not-”
“Now, you just sound like a child. Where has your confidence and ambition gone? Even the Warriors of Hope have more of a threatening presence than you. How pathetic…” Servant took a step forward and Izuru took one back, “Poor, little Izuru. You’re like a frightened child, you can’t help but quiver in the corner.”
“I-” he couldn’t find the strength to continue.
Izuru felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he felt Servant’s hot breath whisper in his ear, “Kamukura, do you feel it? Your heart is hammering against your chest like it’s trying to escape. Your lungs are trying the best they can to squeeze every ounce of air out of you until there’s nothing left. You can’t even talk with your breath stuck in your throat, can you? It must’ve been forever since you’ve felt like this,” Servant darkly chuckled, “That thing you’re feeling… You know it all too well, don’t you? What you’re feeling is...”
The world crumbled below his feet, giving way to the darkness below. There was nothing to hold to, nothing to he could do to possibly free himself from its clutches. Servant... Where did he go? He was right in front of him but now, he was nowhere to be seen. Darkness all but consumed him. Though he couldn’t see him, Izuru hear Servant’s voice echo all around.
“…Despair.”
__________
“Thanks for the meal, Hajime!” Mikan brightly smiled at him, “You really didn’t have to come all the way here. I could’ve gone myself, you know.”
Hajime trembled as Mikan removed the tray from his hands, “Y-you’re wrong...”
“If I was truly wrong, Hajime,” Mikan took one last look at him before heading inside, “Then, why do you have to constantly convince yourself that I am?”
Hajime backed away, “I-I have to go.”
“I’m sure you do,” he raced back to his cottage, “Sweet dreams, Hajime.”
The Following Morning (8:34 am)…
“Ah, Izuru!” Izuru lifted his head up his mug, “I didn’t expect to see you here this early.”
“Unlike Hajime, I feel it is best to get a head start on the day.”
Nagito laughed, “You two are so different…”
“If I may ask, how did you know it was me?”
“Wouldn’t it be boring if I just told you?” Nagito asked, “Wouldn’t it be more fun for you to figure it out on your own?”
“There is no use in putting so much effort first thing in the morning.”
“I see,” Nagito laughed, “Izuru, you’re quite the lazy one now.”
“I have been observing Hajime’s life as of late.”
“Really?” Nagito bit into a slice of toast, “What do you have to report?”
“I do not hand out sensitive information on Hajime’s personal life-”
“S-sorry, it was rude of me to ask-” Nagito started.
“-without proper compensation.”
“Huh?”
“In exchange for your knowledge on how you can differentiate between the two of us, I will give you an account on Hajime’s life.”
“Are you going to tell me something Hajime wouldn’t want to tell me?” Nagito frowned, “I wouldn’t want you to abuse your power like that.”
“That all depends on how reliable your information is,” Izuru told him.
“You’re sure he won’t get mad?” Nagito asked.
“If we move along quickly, he won’t even know.”
“I feel like I’m doing something I shouldn’t,” Nagito pointed at the mug.
Izuru stopped drinking from the mug, “Would you like some coffee?”
“If I get up early in the morning, I can figure out who I’m talking to,” Nagito explained, “Usually Hajime drinks orange juice with his breakfast, while you normally drink coffee with yours.”
Izuru scoffed, “You use a method so simple to distinguish which one of us you are commutating with?”
Nagito shrugged, “It worked, didn’t it?”
“There is a fifty percent chance of choosing correctly,” Izuru pointed out, “You could have just been relying on your talent.”
“Don’t forget our deal,” Nagito reminded him, “What do you have to tell me about Hajime’s life?”
“His life is the very definition of mundane.”
Nagito crossed his arms, “That’s it?”
Izuru added, “It is quite peaceful, too.”
“Give me something else.”
“I held up my end of the bargain.”
“That wasn’t enough to compensate for the amount of information I gave you.”
Izuru sighed, “What do you want to know?”
Nagito thought for a moment, “Maybe something interesting about yourself?”
Izuru gave him a blank stare, “You know about my talents. There is nothing more you can ask from me.”
“T-that’s not true!” Nagito protested, “I’m sure there’s something else I can find out about you.”
“That remains to be seen…”
Nagito hummed, “I know your favorite activity is sailing.”
“The Future Foundation refuses to let us have sailboats in fear we may escape,” Izuru grumbled, “This is nothing more than an extravagant prison.”
“I know!” Nagito exclaimed, “Do you like oranges, too?”
“What a boring question,” Izuru sighed, “Oranges are too sweet for my liking. I prefer grapefruits.”
“But, those are so bitter,” Nagito frowned, “That wasn’t a good question to ask, was it?”
“Is that another question? I can answer that one for you, too.”
“Let me think of something better.”
A minute passed before Izuru asked again, “Have you decided on something?”
Nagito nodded, “Izuru, how did you keep your hair at that length?”
“Is that your final question?” Izuru asked.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“First, I brush it before-”
“Um, that’s not what I’m asking,” Nagito told him, “I know Makoto and the others were really adamant about cutting your hair. They even brought Genocider Syo to give you a stylish haircut.”
Izuru looked at Nagito, “She is unpredictable. One must be cautious around her.”
“There was this one occasion where she was nearly about to kill me when I got too close to her. I should be grateful, considering she opted for my legs instead,” Nagito smiled at him, “Since the Future Foundation was able to heal everyone’s wounds and scars, none of us have be so self-conscious. It makes me wonder why Mikan still has those bandages...”
“You have seen Mikan recently?”
“Of course not,” Nagito finished the remainder of his breakfast, “I know no one wants me to come in contact with her. Besides, we haven’t exactly been on the best of terms since high school.”
“I see…”
“Anyways, you don’t have that scar on your forehead anymore,” Nagito placed the back of his hand against Izuru’s forehead, “So, I don’t see why you didn’t opt for a shorter haircut.”
Izuru winced and visibly pulled back, “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“You had no ill intent. It is alright,” Izuru readjusted his tie, “Their mentality is off; removing physical scars does not remove the psychological ones.”
“They’re trying to be nice, though.”
“I refuse to place any faith in them, and you would be wise to do so yourself,” Izuru continued, “You wanted to hear the story of how I avoided my haircut, correct?”
Nagito nodded, “I think it’d be an interesting tale to hear.”
Izuru set down his mug, “The first time I had heard of any haircut was when Makoto returned with the Genocider.”
“Hajime didn’t tell you?”
“We unable to effectively communicate then. He must have presumed I would not object,” Izuru took the last sip from his mug, “I informed Makoto of my decision and he actively objected against it. He mentioned something about how haircuts can make you feel like a new person.”
“So, why didn’t you?”
“I do not need another annoyance like Hajime.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not what Makoto meant.”
Izuru tossed his hair, “Regardless, I informed him that if even a single strand of my perfect hair were to be cut, they would all be slaughtered.”
Nagito nervously laughed, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to be making threats against them. You might get in trouble.”
“They should know their place.”
“Anyways, I hope Hajime wasn’t too upset about missing his haircut. Your hair is pretty long.”
Izuru nodded, “He will manage. I wrote him a letter explaining I would do the same to his loved ones if he attempted this again.”
Nagito fearfully looked at Izuru, “You wouldn’t…”
Izuru’s glaze softened, “It was a bluff, I would never harm you or the others. He fears me enough to believe it.”
Nagito’s eyes widened, “W-why are you mentioning me?”
“Hajime does cares for you.”
“N-no, he doesn’t…”
“That was statement, not a question. I know Hajime better than anyone, now that you have proven you do not.”
“He doesn’t care about me,” Nagito stared at his empty cup, “Well, maybe he used to, but not anymore.”
“I am quite certain that-”
“Izuru,” Nagito cut him off, “You claim to be observing Hajime’s life, but you haven’t in actuality. You’d notice that Hajime and I, along with everyone else, have barely spoken to each other if you did.”
“False, Hajime did converse with many of you.”
“You can be really dense sometimes, Izuru.”
“Is there something I am missing?”
“No one trusts each other,” Nagito sighed, “Honestly, I don’t blame them. It’s hard to sit next to the murderers or even look at the victims’ face.”
“We have slaughtered numerous people before,” Izuru pointed out.
“But, not our friends,” Nagito paused, “I don’t understand why I’m getting so worked up over this when I’m one of the reasons why everything has gone to chaos.”
‘Aside from having to come to terms with the hundreds of innocent civilians killed, there is also this pressing matter,’ Izuru sighed, ‘So, this must have been why I was allowed to take over.’
Izuru stood up and offered his hand to Nagito, “Would you like to accompany me on my free time?”
Nagito stared at his hand, “Are you sure about this?”
“I am never wrong.”
“It’s bad luck to say something as carefree as that, Izuru.”
“You forget I have good luck as well.”
“Alright,” Nagito took Izuru’s hand, “I’m going to trust in your luck.”
Later at The Library…
“Nagito.”
Nagito looked up from the book he was reading, “Yes?”
“Perhaps this book would be of interest to you.”
“The Right Not to Kill,” Nagito read out loud, “I think I know this author, James Kodaka, right?”
“Have you already read it?”
“No, but I’m exhausted playing detective,” Nagito handed Izuru a different book, “How about this one? Billy Milligan Royale, I think this is one of Shun Sasaki’s more popular books.”
Izuru reached out for the book, but Nagito held it back, “On second thought, maybe not this book. It’s about killing your multiple personalities.”
Izuru nodded, “I would rather not give Hajime any ideas.”
“Hajime?” Nagito put the book back, “I’d never guess he’s the more violent of you two.”
“He is not,” Izuru admitted, “But, he is far more impulsive.”
Nagito looked over at the pile of books Izuru had set down on the table, “You’re reading romance novels, Izuru?”
Izuru shook his head, “More of them are poetry than romance. They are for research.”
“What would the genius of Hope’s Peak Academy need to be researching?” Nagito smiled at Izuru, “Don’t tell me you’re a hopeless romantic, Izuru.”
__________
“Servant.”
“Hmm?” Servant peaked one eye open.
“Have you ever fallen in love?”
Servant turned to Izuru’s side of the bed, “Could it be you’ve fallen for me, Kamukura? Was it that good?”
“I’m bored. A relationship could bring some excitement to the both us.”
Izuru winced at the sudden pinch on his arm, “Are you implying that I don’t get you excited, Kamukura?”
“Your nails.”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“Why are they so long?”
Servant looked at his red nails, “Kotoko wanted to practice using nail polish. And as a lowly servant, I had no choice.”
“I doubt elementary school children hold that much power over you,” Izuru told him, “I could always take them out for you if they become too much of a hassle.”
Servant narrowed his eyes, “You aren’t seriously think of hurting them, are you? That’s low, even for you.”
“I was merely going to suggest locking them up in some sort of cage.”
“Really?” Servant raised an eyebrow.
“They can be quite annoying.”
“You really know how to kill the mood,” Servant yawned, “But, I guess it’s pretty kind of you to offer. I can handle this on my own. Junko entrusted me with watching over them.”
“You do not mind their treatment then?”
“It’s barely anything compared to what the Resistance could do.”
‘If Servant is not worried about the children or the Resistance, then it might just be possible that he is working with someone,’ Izuru thought, ‘Since Enoshima is still working on her pet project, who can it be?’
“Hey,” Izuru felt another pinch on his arm, “Don’t ignore me.”
“Servant, will there come a day when you will tell me your true name?”
“Is this about the talent thing?” he asked, “Because I told you to forget about it. My talent isn’t worth looking into.”
“I believe it to be human decency.”
“Once you can tell me your real name, then I’ll tell you mine,” Servant stared at the ceiling, “Besides, wouldn’t you just get bored with me if I tell you all the answers?”
“Even if you tell me, there will always be things I find intriguing about you.”
Servant looked back at Izuru, “Name one thing.”
“Your collar for example.”
“You want to try it on, Kamukura?” Servant teased, “I think it’ll look good on you.”
“I can never figure out how to get it off-”
Servant laughed, “The talented Izuru Kamukura is easily defeated by a simple mechanism?”
“-or how you are able to keep in good condition despite all the rain we receive.”
“I must be really boring if you find that collar interesting.”
“You are not boring to me,” Izuru stared directly at him, “I am just curious as to why you keep it on.”
“Let’s see,” Servant reached up to touch his neck, “Collars are essentially a sign of ownership, right? I guess I like wearing it to show how I’ll always be consumed by despair.”
“You take it off frequently,” Izuru pointed out.
“You always need to feel just a small bit of hope so you can feel more despair.”
“Do you enjoy that taste of freedom?”
“What I feel or want doesn’t matter,” Servant continued, “But, Junko enjoys using it as a leash and treating me like a dog.”
Izuru grimaced, “That sounds unpleasant.”
“But, I guess the most important reason is you.”
“Why?”
“Because maybe I wouldn’t have to wear it that much if you’d quit leaving marks.”
Izuru felt his eyelids grow heavy with sleep, “You never answered my question about falling in love.”
“I’m pretty sure I did.”
“You answered with a question, not a statement.”
“So, you’re that determined to find out if I’ve fallen in love,” the room grew deathly silent except for the sound of their breathing, “I was once before.”
“Then, what happened?”
“One day, he suddenly just vanished.”
“Did he perish?” Izuru asked.
“At least, I hope not.”
“I have a hypothesis,” Izuru suddenly told Servant, “If we were to find confirmation of his death, would you move on and fall for me instead?”
Servant’s eyes held a brief moment of pain before he turned over to the other side of the bed.
“Honestly, I don’t know…”
__________
“Ah, I know her! At least, I think I’ve heard that name before.”
Izuru snapped out of his daydream, “Who are you referring to?”
“Could you open the inside of the book, Izuru? It might have her picture somewhere…”
Izuru flipped to the back of the book, “Is this her?”
“It is,” Nagito read out loud, “Toko Fukawa.”
“She looks very familiar…”
“That’s Genocider Syo,” Nagito told him, “I employed her for a short time, but she never told me her true name. I think I remember seeing her as an underclassman.”
“She attended the academy?”
Nagito nodded, “I do faintly recall seeing her in the library. Probably working on her next novel at the time. She seemed like such a hard and talented worker.”
“Before she tried to slice you open,” Izuru reminded him.
“There was also that,” Nagito handed him the book, “But, that shouldn’t hold you back from communicating with her.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Because she’s in the same predicament with you and Hajime. It might help to talk to someone who’s going through the same thing.”
Izuru studied the book for a moment, “Perhaps I will talk to her. However, there is no guarantee that the Future Foundation would carelessly bring her here.”
“You can try calling over the phone,” Nagito smiled, “You’ve got to have hope, remember?”
“You seem more optimistic these days. Is it because of your diagnosis?
Nagito sighed, “Why does everyone keep asking about it?”
“Finding out you have been misdiagnosed is what some might consider to be a big deal.”
“It’s pathetic, really,” Nagito darkly chuckled, “To suddenly been given all this hope after years of agonizingly waiting for your own demise.”
“You remain afraid of your luck cycle,” Izuru deduced.
“No, it’s not that,” Nagito sat in a chair, “I think my luck’s balanced at this point. I’ve lost relationships with people I deeply care, damaged the world, and led so many children astray just so I can live.”
“That would be considered lucky, correct? You are still here alive.”
“I should feel lucky, happy even, but why don’t I?” Nagito buried his face in his hands as tears began to form at the corner of his eyes, “When people would ignore me before, I wouldn’t mind. But, why now? Why do I care so much? I used to dismiss what others thought and work towards my goal of becoming a stepping stone for hope. But now, this never-ending silence is becoming unbearable.”
“Nagito…”
“I can’t believe I’m whining while imposing on your free time,” Nagito wiped away his tears with his jacket’s sleeves, “Thank you for spending time with me. Even though it was just for a little while, I had fun.”
Nagito was just about to leave when he felt something grab his jacket, “The next time I am able to freely roam around, I would like to spend some of that free time with you.”
Nagito smiled, “And you know I’m willing to help both you and Hajime whenever you need it.”
“Actually, there is something Hajime needs help with...”
A Few Minutes After Midnight….
Hajime woke up in the middle of the night with the feeling that something was off. Unable to shake that feeling, Hajime grew restless. Maybe if he slept on his other side, he might be able to get back to sleep faster. But when Hajime rolled onto his left side, the exact opposite happened.
“Nagito?!”
‘Is this a dream?’ Hajime pleaded in his head, ‘Someone please tell me if this is a dream.’
The white-haired boy yawned as he rubbed his eyes, “Good morning, Hajime.”
“It's not yet morning,” Hajime informed him.
“Alright then,” Nagito snuggled back into the bedsheets.
“What’re you doing?”
“Sleeping.”
“I can see that,” Hajime sat up, “But, why are you sleeping here?”
“Izuru thought you might sleep better if there’s someone to help you through your nightmares.”
‘Nightmares?’ Hajime sighed, ‘So, that's what he thinks I'm having?’
“A-anyways,” he spoke up, “I think it’s about time for you to go back to your own place.”
“Hajime…”
“Yeah?”
Nagito frowned, “It's cold outside.”
“So?”
“But, what if I fall into despair from the cold?”
“What are you talking about? It’s not that cold.”
“This bed is a lot warmer with you in it. Plus, this is for your own sake, Hajime.”
“Really?” Hajime sighed, “That’s the best you can come up with?”
“If I fall into despair again,” Nagito warned, “I’m telling everyone it’s your fault.”
“A-are you blackmailing me?” Hajime raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t you say you wanted to help me out?”
“Izuru said that, I didn’t,” Nagito moved closer to Hajime, “It's your duty to keep me warm tonight.”
“Says who?”
Nagito only closed his eyes as his breathing started to slow down. Before long, he was asleep once again. Hajime could hear his own heart loudly beating against his chest. It gradually dissipated as Hajime too fell into a deep sleep. Unconsciously, Hajime wrapped his arm around Nagito.
In the Early Morning…
Light shined through the thin, brown blinds as a gentle breeze flowed in. Hajime slowly opened his eyes as the sun began to rise. Just as he began to stretch, Hajime noticed something in the bed with him. Hajime pulled down the covers and found a sleeping Nagito. He looked content and peaceful, as if that was his first true night of rest. Hajime gently placed his lips against Nagito’s forehead before climbing out of the bed, causing the white-haired boy to stir.
“Hajime, what’re you doing?” he yawned.
“Doing what?”
“Never mind,” Nagito touched his forehead, “I thought I felt something warm for a second.”
Hajime’s lucidity came back like a rushing wave, ‘Holy shit. Did I just kiss Nagito? Stay calm, Hajime. As long as you don’t say anything, he won’t-’
“Did you kiss me?”
‘Fuck.’
“W-what?” Hajime’s cheeks were flushed, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t just go around accusing people of things.”
“I could’ve sworn I saw you kneeling over me.”
Hajime gulped, “I-I had to make sure you were still breathing.”
“Really? That’s all you were doing?”
Hajime tried not to falter under Nagito’s questioning glaze, “Promise.”
Nagito laughed, “It’s funny seeing you so flustered over a little joke.”
“Joke?”
“I had to look after these children while I was still a Remnant of Despair,” Nagito began to untangle himself from the bedsheets, “There was this one fairytale that they’d make me read over and over before they went to bed. It was about a princess who slept for centuries until a prince woke her up.”
“I think I’ve heard that one before.”
“But, that’s just the filtered version,” Nagito continued, “In actuality, horrible things had been done to the princess while she was waiting for someone to wake her up. The prince, who one may expect to have been her savior, defiled her. Rumors even say that she suffered from awful nightmares while he just watched.”
“I liked the first one more. At least, it had a happy ending.”
“Of course, you would. Everyone wants to be happy,” Nagito peeked through one of the blinds, “Sometimes, I question the Future Foundation’s motives in allowing us to roam freely on this island.”
“How exactly did the other story end?”
Nagito shrugged, “I don’t remember the rest.”
“Great, now I’m going to be wondering if someone kissed me.”
“Wasn’t Souda the first one to wake up? Maybe he-”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Hajime growled.
“Maybe being a soul friend requires more than a verbal agreement. Since you two would be joining your souls, wouldn’t it be safe to say that you’d also need to join your-”
“Nagito,” Hajime resisted the urge to hit something, “If another word comes out of your mouth-”
“-hands as a sign of your friendship?”
“You did that on purpose!”
“What did I do?” Nagito innocently smiled, “Hajime, you weren’t thinking of anything dirty, were you?”
“You phrased it like that to try and provoke me!”
“I would never do such a thing,” Nagito crossed his arms, “You can’t go around accusing people of things, Hajime.”
“Don’t go throwing my own words right back at me!”
Nagito laughed, “Izuru is much more of a gentleman than you are, Hajime.”
“Of course, you would think that,” Hajime mumbled.
Nagito huffed, “Just what’s that supposed to mean, Hajime?”
“It’s nothing,” Hajime muttered.
“Obviously it’s something, or else you wouldn’t be bringing it up.”
“Look, just forget about it.”
“Sometimes, you can be a lot more confusing than-”
“Than who?” Hajime cut him off, “Izuru?”
“What does Izuru have to do with any of this?”
“Everything!” Hajime threw his hands in the air, “He just has to do with goddamn everything!”
“Did something happen between the two of you?”
“Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“I know you used to fool around with Izuru.”
Nagito’s eyes widened, “D-did he tell you that?”
“Not directly, but I was able to piece the puzzle together.”
“Hajime…”
“Don't even,” Hajime clenched his fists, “I should've known I'm replaceable.”
“You aren't replaceable,” Nagito raised his hand to put it on Hajime's shoulder, “Hajime, I-”
“Don’t touch me,” Hajime moved away from Nagito, “You think he's better than me.”
“Isn't that what you wanted, Hajime?” Nagito raised an eyebrow, “To become a better version of yourself?”
“To become-?” Hajime glared at Nagito, “Are you saying I asked for this to happen?”
“You were the one who signed up for the project, Hajime. I don’t remember anyone forcing you do it.”
“That's bullshit!”
Nagito crossed his arms, “Is it really, Hajime?”
“It's true that I wanted to have talent,” he told Nagito, “But I never asked for this to happen.”
“Never asked for what to happen?” Nagito glared at him, “The real reason you're upset about Izuru is because, despite all your best efforts and sacrifices, you still don't have a talent.”
“You think that's why I'm mad?” Hajime scoffed, “You're just deflecting this onto me.”
“I'm just telling it how it is.”
“You're not even apologizing!”
“And what would that fix? If you hadn't been so selfish, we could have had more time.”
“Are you trying to say that The Tragedy was my fault?”
“There you go again,” Nagito gave a frustrated sigh, “Making everything about you.”
“How else am I supposed to interpret what you just said?”
Nagito crossed his arms, “Maybe we could have spent a little more time together…”
“And have everyone in the Main Course stare at us?”
“Hajime, no one cared-”
“In your class, Nagito. Did you even consider what everyone else thought about you dating someone from the Reserve Course?”
“Since when have you cared about what others thought? Weren't you the one who always told me that as long as we had each other and our friends, it'd be alright?”
“Like you care! You were the one who kept on going on about talent!”
“I never asked you to get a talent!”
“You didn't have to say it out loud, but I could practically hear what you thought!” Hajime snapped back, “You never once told me you loved me.”
“Did I really have to say it out for you to believe me? Did you doubt me that much?”
“I still have no idea where your intentions lie.”
“Hugs, kisses, dates, and holding hands. Those weren't enough for you to at least be somewhat convinced?”
“You still don't get it…”
“I can't understand anything if you're not going to tell me, Hajime!” Nagito huffed, “You can be really frustrating sometimes!”
“Do you know what's frustrating? Dating someone who immediately runs after the next person who comes along.”
“How about dating someone who suddenly vanishes without trace? Did you ever think about that?”
“I didn't just suddenly disappear. I-”
“Do you know what it's like going to school one day with no one knowing where your boyfriend is?” Nagito stepped closer to Hajime, “How about calling his parents, the administration, and the headmaster all to hear the same exact line of how you should stop bothering everyone and get on with your life?”
“Well, you certainly got on with yours. Fooling around with Izuru like you're some kind of whor-”
SLAP
“Maybe I was so blinded by how much I used to love you that I didn’t realize how much I hated you until right now,” the door slammed shut behind Nagito as the boy stood there in complete shock.
Izuru reached up to touch his stinging cheek and was surprised by odd sensation, ‘Are these… tears? I suppose these are the body’s natural response to pain,’ Izuru touched his chest, ‘Though Nagito struck my cheek, why does it feel as though he has wounded my heart instead?’
__________
“Hajime, let me in!” Nagito continued his relentless barrage of knocking.
“Hold on, I’ll be there in a second,” Hajime unlocked the dorm room’s door, “Do you want to explain yourself?”
Nagito pouted, “I’m not in trouble, am I?”
“What do you think you’re doing knocking on my door like that?”
“I’m trying to get my boyfriend’s attention.”
“You’re shouldn’t even be here. What if we get in trouble?”
“We won’t,” Nagito smiled, “You can’t come near dorm, but the rules don’t mention that I can’t come here.”
“Because it’s crazy for a someone in the Main Course to come over here,” Hajime pointed out, “And what do you think you’re doing calling me your boyfriend here?”
“I’m not allowed to call you my-?”
“Don’t say it,” Hajime covered Nagito’s mouth, “Aren’t you at least worried about someone with authority finding out?”
Nagito removed Hajime’s hand, “Like the headmaster?”
“No, like that security guard.”
“Ah, the infamous Juzo Sakakura,” Nagito laughed, “You’re pretty afraid of him, aren’t you?”
“Don’t laugh!” Hajime glared at Nagito, “I’ve heard he’s been roughing up some of the Reserve Course students over the smallest of things. If he finds out about us, he might actually kill me!”
“I’m sorry about your door,” Nagito kissed Hajime’s cheek, “Can I come in?”
“Fine,” Hajime opened the door wider, “But, you better make it quick.”
“I’ll only be here a moment,” Nagito sat down at the kotatsu, “This is nice.”
“Don’t you have one in your own room?”
“Of course,” Nagito rested his head on the table, “But, my room doesn’t have you in it.”
“You know I can’t-”
“I know,” Nagito sighed, “But, that’s not why I’m here.”
“It’s not?”
“My class is having a snowball fight later,” Nagito looked up at Hajime, “They said I could invite you to join us.”
“Really? Don’t you guys know how cold it is outside?”
Nagito sleepily nodded, “It’d be a great chance to see everyone’s hope shine to the fullest.”
“You’re falling asleep,” Hajime pulled him from under the kotatsu, “I can’t believe you came all this way just to sleep here.”
Nagito rubbed his eye, “Huh? But, we’ve done that before.”
Hajime sighed, “Tell your friends I’m not going.”
“You have to,” Nagito insisted, “They personally invited you.”
“And I’m turning it down. Seriously, you guys are insane,” Hajime handed Nagito a cup of hot chocolate, “There’s a freaking snowstorm outside!”
“It’s perfect timing with the amount of snow we’ll get,” Nagito took a sip from the cup and grimaced, “This is far too sweet for my liking.”
“Guests aren’t supposed to complain.”
“I’m your honorary guest then,” Nagito handed the cup back, “I’d like to make a few requests.”
Hajime raised an eyebrow, “What makes you think I’ll grant them?”
“I don’t like how my server is dressed,” Nagito coyly smiled, “I want his shirt off.”
“That’s called sexual harassment,” Hajime set the cup in the kitchen, “And I’m not taking my shirt off. It’s too cold for that.”
“As for my second request,” Nagito walked over to Hajime, “I want my boyfriend to join my classmates and I on this wonderful snowy day.”
“Not happening.”
Nagito rested his head on Hajime’s shoulder, “We could snuggle underneath the covers afterwards.”
“I might just die from hypothermia before we get a chance.”
“You trust me, don’t you?” Nagito pulled Hajime towards the door, “I’m sure my luck won’t allow you to get hurt today.”
“You and your damn luck,” Hajime sighed, “Fine, but only for a little bit, alright?”
Nagito brightly smiled at his boyfriend, “I promise you’ll have lots of fun with us.”
__________
KNOCK KNOCK
“Hajime, you haven’t been seen outside of your cottage since last night,” Teruteru’s voice could be heard through the door, “As the Ultimate Chef, it’s my duty to thoroughly care for each and every one of my friends’ bodies. Be sure to eat something good and nutritious for you, alright?”
‘To be reduced to such a pitiful state is absolutely revolting,’ Izuru stumbled onto his feet as he began to head out.
The Hotel’s Old Building (2:13 pm)…
As Izuru investigated the rooms of the building, he discovered not a person was in sight. It was quite odd considering that at least a single individual would normally be seen in each building. Izuru dismissed the finding and continued onto his task. Of the rooms he discovered, the kitchen appeared to be the most useful at the moment. As Izuru began to cut some vegetables, he began to grow curious about the deathly silence that plagued his mind. Normally, Hajime would interject at this time with some absurd comment about how he may cut his own hair if he’s not careful with the knife. Though calming, this uncanny silence was completely childish.
‘How long will it be until he finally learns to take responsibility for his actions?’ Izuru mused as he began cutting a carrot, ‘I wonder if my own existence will remain safe if he were able to.’
“Oh, Mr. Ultimate Despair~” a familiar voice singsonged through the locked door, “Are you there?”
Izuru continued to chop the vegetable as he ignored her voice. Of all times, why now? Just what does she intend to do? He must continue to remain calm and vigilant, whatever her plans may be.
“Even if you don’t want to talk to me, it’s fine as long as I have your attention. Nagito looked like a poor little puppy that got kicked by its master,” Mikan giggled, “It looks like it’s really over for the two of you.”
“You came here to brag? I was under the presumption you loved Enoshima. It appears you have developed a certain liking towards Nagito.”
“You doubt the love I share with my beloved?!” she roared.
“I find it amusing how long you can stay in that fantasy world of yours.”
“She loves me, even cares for me, more than anyone in the-”
“Is that what you tell yourself? You were only one of her many pawns.”
“Then, Nagito just as much of a pawn as I am.”
“Nagito is somewhat reformed, which is more than I can say for you.”
“No matter how hard Nagito struggles and pulls, he can’t escape beloved’s despair. Do you want to know why, Mr. Ultimate Despair?” Mikan whispered into the door, “I’ve always wondered why she’d lock the room whenever it was his punishment time. Though, those screams… they didn’t sound like screams of despair. Maybe it was because he was so much more than her chess piece.”
Izuru swung the door open and just as he brought the knife down onto her, a sudden firm hand on his wrist caused the knife to clatter onto the floor.
“Nekomaru, hold him back for me, will ya?”
“He’s fast. I’ll give him that,” Nekomaru laughed, “He’s not that much of a threat when you have a good grip on him.”
Akane defensively stood in front of Mikan, “Whoever you are or whatever the hell your name is, we don’t hurt our friends no matter how much of a pain they can be.”
Sometime Later…
“So, tell me,” Akane suddenly spoke up, “What exactly did you do to provoke Izuru?”
Mikan hummed, “Why do you assume I did something?”
“That guy isn’t the type to suddenly swing a knife around like a maniac.”
“As much as we want to, we can’t get rid of the dark things that make up our past.”
“Look, I’m not saying that it’s easy,” Akane led Mikan to the hotel’s restaurant.
“Why are you bringing me here?”
“Because every one of us deserves a chance, even if anyone else says otherwise,” Akane beamed at her, “Plus, stopping that fight between you and Izuru made me really hungry.”
Later That Evening…
KNOCK KNOCK
A soft knock on a door could barely be heard in the distance.
“Nagito, are you in there?” Hajime sighed, “I know you don't want to talk to me, so I'll just do all the talking and you'll listen, okay?”
Quiet shuffling could be heard before the all the lights in the cottage suddenly went out.
Hajime took a deep breath, “When I consented to the project, I told myself I was doing this for the person I loved the most, you. The truth was that I was only doing it for myself. I just wanted to feel like I actually had a place in this world and that I mattered. Even when I noticed the signs that everything wasn’t right, I was so scared of coming back feeling like worse than a complete failure. I couldn’t even handle what I signed up for, so I took the easy way out and decided to disassociate myself from everything that was going on. I didn’t even think of Izuru as some human being who had to go through all my crap. But most importantly, I didn’t realize that Izuru might’ve liked you too, or that you might’ve liked him back.”
He tried to choke back his tears as he continued, “You don’t understand how happy I was to see that you were alive. I waited outside your hospital room every day, but I could never find the strength to open that damn door. I just kept on telling myself that I’d open it the next day, but I never did. Even when we finally saw each other again, I couldn’t say anything because I was too scared to face myself and all the damage I’ve caused. Nagito, I’ve been letting you down time and again. I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re just fed up with me at this point but, I’m sorry for being such a damn coward.”
Nagito’s hushed voice spoke through the door, “Hajime, I’ve caused you so much pain and suffering. Why’re you still acknowledging my presence? I truly am the most repulsive person in the world to have forced your hand and make you do something so horrific. Even when other students would start to whisper, I would just ignore them because I had no idea how to defend someone like you. Hajime, you’ve challenged every belief I’ve had about hope and talent even before the Neo World Program. You brought something more tangible into my life, happiness. I had to reassure myself that talent was far more important than what I wanted, you. I was so terrified of dying that I had to put my faith in something I could believe in. That something or rather someone should’ve been you. You almost disappeared forever just because I was too afraid to reach out and grasp my own happiness.”
The wooden door swung open and the barrier that held the two apart had ceased to exist. Nagito’s tear-stained face greeted Hajime’s own.
“There’s nothing holding me back from you now,” Nagito gave him a small smile, “From the bottom of my heart, I’m truly in love with you.”
Hajime leaded in and gave Nagito a chaste kiss.
“S-sorry,” Hajime rubbed the back of his neck, “Was that too sudden?”
“A little bit,” Nagito admitted, “But, it was nice though.”
Hajime shifted his feet around, refusing to meet Nagito’s glaze. The sudden silence caused the re-emerging of the crickets chirping to reach their ears. Though there was still despair plaguing parts of the world, the summer nights remained ever so enchanting. Fireflies twinkled against the stars in the deep violet night sky.
“Hajime,” Nagito stammered, “W-would you like to come in?”
Hajime felt his cheeks heat up as he confidently replied, “Sure.”
Epilogue…
Hajime Hinata hummed a small tune to himself as it was the middle of a beautiful afternoon. Honestly, he couldn’t imagine a time when he’d been so ecstatic about life. Hajime caught a yawning Souda at the corner of his eye.
“Everyone looks pretty tired today.”
Souda glared at his friend, “Maybe if you and your damn boyfriend kept quiet last night, some of us would’ve gotten some actual sleep!”
Hajime blushed, “S-sorry about that…”
Souda groaned, “You’re lucky I actually enjoy hanging around you, or else I would have avoided you like everyone else.”
“Wait, you don’t like me, do you?” Hajime questioned, “Because I’m sort of taken, sorry.”
“What?!” Souda screeched, “Why would I like you of all people?”
“You don’t?” Hajime sighed, “That’s a relief. It would have been really awkward.”
“You’re the one making this awkward!” Souda pointed at him, “Not to mention, I’m way out of your league.”
“If anything, I’m way out of yours,” Hajime put a hand on Souda’s shoulder, “But as your soul friend, I’ll find you someone to go out with.”
“That’s what you said back in high school!”
Hajime laughed, “There’s only so much I can help you with, Souda.”
“Shut up!” Souda pulled on his beanie, “I just wanna find a cute girl to spend the rest of my time with.”
Hajime scratched his head, “I don’t think I know of any girls who’re into mechanics.”
“She has to be gorgeous blonde, too!”
“You’re really pushing it…”
“Hajime! Souda!” Ibuki ran over to the pair, “Ibuki is having a concert later, so be sure to check it out!”
“I think I’m coming down with a cold,” Souda awkwardly coughed.
“Everyone has to be there!” Ibuki jabbed a finger at Souda’s chest, “Ibuki’s concert will be so awesome that we’ll all become friends again!”
“I think it’d only bring return us back to despair,” Hajime commented.
“If you guys wanna be lame, that’s cool,” Ibuki turned away and began running from the pair, “Just letting know that Ibuki will tell Nagito about how she overheard the two of you were flirting.”
“Get back here, Ibuki!” Souda ran after her, “You’ll lower my chances with the ladies if you say something that weird!”
Hajime ran alongside Souda, “Did you even have a chance in the first place?”
“Shut up!”
The three ran off into the afternoon sun carrying with them the laughter and spirit of youth. A bright and shining future awaits them in the horizon.