Chapter Text
Bill flipped to the channel that showed both Max and Dipper, and became utterly disappointed. Instead of making out in the poison ivy patches or fucking each other against a tree, they opted to try and find their way back to the campgrounds.
Bill sighed, and pinched his non-existent nose in annoyance. He decided to watch some Hentai instead of this boring-ass shit.
[Back to Dipper and Max]
Max and Dipper trudged through the deep woods, wondering how many miles Neil had led them away from camp, and finally, after God knows how long they walked, they took a break on a large and soft patch of grass.
"Dipper, are we even going in the right direction?" Max asked, nomming on a sandwich that he had secretly brought with him in his hoodie pocket, because a sandwich plothole is something I'll not allow in any of the fiction that I write.
Dipper sighed, "Yes, Max. I have a very good sense of direction."
"O rly?"
"Yes. We just keep following the sun until we get back to camp- oh."
The sun had finally set. And worse still, that night had a full moon, which obviously meant werewolves were going to be feasting upon Dipper and Max's flesh that night.
Max leered at Dipper. "Now what, genius?"
Dipper started sniffling, and looked the opposite of Max.
After a long awkward silence, Max said, "Well, if it's dark, we can't find our way back to camp anyway. Who knows how many wild animals are out here." Dipper looked at Max and smiled softly. "I guess we'll just have to sleep here tonight. Night, Dipper." Max finished, lied down on the grass next to them, and fell asleep.
Dipper suddenly felt anxiety. He remembered his deal with Bill. Max didn't TRULY care about him. Bill just used his magic or whatever to make Max love him. And worse still, he had his part of the deal to uphold.
Dipper shook those thoughts from his head. Surely Bill wouldn't use him in the middle of nowhere? He felt the need to sleep slowly taking him, and went to sleep next to Max.
Nightmares flooded Dipper's mind that night. Ones about Bill, ones about losing Max, ones about the Undertale fandom, ones about Mabel shoving bottles of glitter down her throat and puking them back out, and hell, even ones of David shitting out rainbows, and just in general defying all logic.
Max woke up to the sun burning his eyes, and looked over to Dipper, who looked like he was having more nightmares. Max's face transformed into a concerned expression, and he gently shook Dipper awake.
"W-what? Oh, Max! Thank God you're okay." Dipper exclaimed, holding Max's waist.
Max blushed, and gently shoved Dipper away. "What happened, Dipper?"
Not noticing that Max blushed at all, Dipper started to explain what happened, only in his nightmare of losing Max, though.
"Well, thank you for caring about me, I guess." Max said awkwardly, before saying, "We should really get back to camp, although I'm undoubtedly sure that nobody gives a shit that we're gone. Except for maybe the counselors."
Dipper nodded in agreement, and they headed west, like stereotypical cowboys do in the movies.
[Two days of walking through forest later...]
Max and Dipper finally made it out of the forest, and were relieved, until they saw Neil getting attention from literally all the girls in the camp. Except for Gwen, Mabel, and Nikki. Nikki was digging a hole in the ground cause she's cool like that.
"How did a science nerd that nobody liked, turn into..." Max gestured over to Neil, "whatever the hell that is?"
Dipper made a 'I dunno' sound, and they both walked towards Nikki.
"Hey, Nikki." Dipper greeted.
"Oh, hey guys!" Nikki smiled, grateful that Max and Dipper finally showed up, because she didn't really have any other friends.
"What the fuck happened to Neil?" Max asked, annoyed with the turn of events.
Nikki sighed. "I guess I owe you an explanation anyway."
Nikki stopped digging. "You see, Mabel and I were battling a werewolf, and Neil showed up out of nowhere. The werewolf escaped from us and ran over to Neil. Mabel had successfully saved him from getting turned into wolf-chow, and as thanks, Neil helped us carry the werewolf head back to camp. Speaking of which, it's over the sign on the Mess Hall now." She said, pointing to the werewolf head that was tackily taped and glued over the sign on the Mess Hall. "Anyhow, I don't know what had gotten into... eergh... them."
Ered and Nerris were dangerously close to Neil, who looked very disturbed and uncomfortable.
"Poor guy." Max commented, knowing how much Neil hated being the center of attention, unless it was about science and shit.
Dipper put his hand under his chin in thought. "In my experience, girls never really cared about nerds, no matter how strong or brave of an action they performed. Someone is definitely behind all of this. There has to be something we can do to h-"
Max gave Dipper a look. "I don't want to help Neil. I just want to spend the day relaxing. After all, we trudged through miles of forest just to get back here and it's all Neil's fucking fault." Max stated in an angery fashion, while Nikki watched the unrest take place.
"How is it his fault?" Dipper asked.
Max rolled his eyes. "Do you not get it? We walked with him through that supposedly tiny forest, and he abandoned us in the middle of all of it!"
"Oh." Dipper said in realization. "Well, I'm going to try to find out what's causing Nerris and Ered to act this way towards Neil. You can go back to the tent if you want. I'm pretty sure who's behind this in the first place..." Dipper trailed off, thinking of all the suspects, who turned out to be just one. I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you who it is.
"Well, have fun. I'm undoubtedly sure that it'll all just lead up to something that's completely unrelated to this story's plot anyway. Bye." Max said, breaking the fourth-wall casually, before leaving.
"You think you really know who is behind this?" Nikki asked, standing up.
Dipper looked at her. "Well, not really. I just said that to impress Max." Dipper lied.
"Oh, well, that's completely understandable." Nikki replied sarcastically.
Dipper felt the need to tell her about Bill, what REAL power did he have anyway? Maybe Max just realized his own feelings for Dipper. But nevertheless, he didn't want to risk the chance of losing Max, so he chose not to tell her, and asked the question my three readers were probably asking themselves.
"Anyway, where's Mabel? I haven't seen her."
Nikki sighed. "She's with the Flower Scouts. Well, not really, but she's helping them out with stuff over there. She's been gone ever since BEFORE Nerris and Ered starting crushing on Neil. Which has been..." Nikki did some simple math in her head. "... about a day and a half now."
"And when will she be back?" Dipper questioned further.
"Probably a week. Maybe less! I sure hope so..." Nikki mumbled the last part to herself. She missed Mabel.
"Well, nice talking to you, Nikki. I'm going to go and try to solve this 'mystery'." Dipper left Nikki to go and question a few people.
Dipper walked over to where Harrison was, which was near the Mess Hall. "Hey, uh... magic kid, was it?" Dipper asked awkwardly.
"Harrison." Harrison corrected, irritation clear in his body language. "Now what do you want? I'm busy practicing my magic tricks." Dipper noticed a dead rabbit hanging out the edge of the dumpster.
Could Harrison be a necromancer? Nah, that only happened in The Elder Scrolls (copyrighted).
"Um... I actually have a few questions for you."
"Okay, go on."
"First question, why is there a dead rabbit hanging out of the side of the dumpster?"
Harrison's eyes flicked to where the dead rabbit was, then back to Dipper. "Uh... well, if you haven't noticed, this camp is pretty low-budget, so dead animals are to be expected. Especially in dumpsters."
'Smooth, Harrison.' Dipper thought sarcastically.
"And secondly, are you behind Nerris and Ered chasing after Neil?"
"What?" Harrison began, "Of course not, not even I am talented enough to make that monstrosity happen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have magical business to attend to." Harrison dismissed Dipper, grabbed the rabbit, and walked away to somewhere a little bit more private to revive the dead.
Dipper realized something in horror. No, not the fact that Harrison was trying to revive a dead bunny to carry out his will, but the fact that Bill was probably behind this. But... why didn't whatever Bill do affect Nikki or Gwen?
'Time to go back to the men's bathroom.' Dipper thought, going into the Mess Hall while the abomination known as Ered/Neil/Nerris unfolded. Seriously, that's probably the worst thing to grace the Camp Camp fandom. Other than the random crossovers, the uncanon ships, and of course, the cringeworthy OCs.