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I had just woken up from a nap, and began checking my phone when I saw it.
“Dan, what did you do?” I accused toward the door across the hall from the bedroom I was standing in. I marched the ten steps into the office concealed by the heavy oak doors.
“What? What do you mean what’d I do? Did I wake you up? How was your nap?” The bushy haired man rattled off questions as he spun around in his chair to meet me.
“You didn’t wake me, but you did post this.” I flipped my phone around showing him my instagram feed stopped on a photo of myself sleeping on top of the plush covers. I was on my side, facing away from the camera, the warm light from the midday sun filling the room. The caption read “she’s finally resting! Sound the (very, very quiet) horns!”
“I thought you looked so beautifully peaceful, I had to share it.” he shrugged before snaking his arm around my thigh to pull me closer.
“Thank you, I do my best to radiate while I sleep” I cracked my stern demeanor for a second, “I actually like the picture, look again though.”
“What I- Oh, shit.” All of the color dropped from his face.
“Yeah, ‘oh, shit’ is right Dan, and you can’t delete it now, people have already started reposting it.” I sighed, “everywhere.”
“I meant to share that on the private account. Well, shit, ummm… I think we’re busted.”
“To say the least. Half the comments are ‘wooo, go Sexbang!’ or ‘holy shit, are those wedding rings?” I began while wheeling a second chair from across the office over to sit in. “So much for making that announcement next month.” I exasperated while falling into the plush office chair. I then caught myself looking at the rings I indeed have on my left hand. A beautiful platinum band set with three generous oval diamonds, along with a band of pave set diamonds around its entire circumference. The set was way more than I could have ever asked or dreamed for, but he knew I loved them and would have it no other way.
“What do you want to do? Let it blow over or-”
“I’d feel like a complete ass if we just ignored it.” I interrupted. “Why let the rumor machine get ahold of it? Let me freshen up, and we’ll do one of those instagram stories or something on your account?” I suggested.
“Not a bad idea, we’ll just do what we planned on doing in the next month or so, now. Someone will inevitably save them all and post it somewhere” Dan rubbed at the stubble that had collected on his chin as he thought outloud. “I’ll call Brent, and let him know what’s going on as a heads up.” He spoke of his manager, he really didn’t need to fill him in, but thought it’d be the best out of courtesy.
After running a brush through my hair and putting a bit of color on my lips I found Dan in the livingroom of our home, sitting on the couch, phone in hand. He patted the cushion next to himself, asking me to join him.
“What do you think of this to start?” He pressed play, allowing the short clip he recorded while I was in the bathroom to play.”
“Hey, so… yeah. I for sure posted a picture of someone in bed earlier. I’m an idiot, and have some explaining to do, I haven’t been super honest with you lovelies, so buckle up, sit down, or whatever because here we go!”
“Looks good to me” I shrugged. “What’s next?”
“How about this?” Dan lifted his phone back up, and hit record. “Ummm, so yeah, I meant to post that picture on another account, a private account of mine meant for family to see, but I’m an idiot and didn’t pay attention…. And yeah. I blame my thumbs!”
He hit send, before beginning again. “So… for the past... few years, I’ve been in a relationship.” he paused before running his free hand over his hair. “A very serious relationship actually.” He glanced my way. “Everyone, lovelies… meet Ann, my wife of almost two years.” I smiled a genuine, but closed mouth grin and waved hello. “Hi, everyone!”
Dan hit send again before resituating himself closer to me so we were both seen in his phones screen. “Yeah… we’ve been married for awhile now. I never wanted to hide anything from you all, but we’re both pretty private and, yeah… now you know?” He continued to explain, not knowing how to wrap this all up. I placed my hand on his thigh off screen and interrupted.
“Don’t you worry, Danny Sexbang isn’t, hasn’t and won’t go anywhere, he’s still here. I quite enjoy him. I think I would have run away screaming a long time ago if I didn’t.” I smiled and chuckled while playfully pushing him in the arm. He hit send once more before starting the camera one last time.
“So yeah, surprise!” he chuckled into the phone “I just ask that you all be your awesome selves and continue to respect our privacy, Ann’s especially. I know she’s tagged in the photo, but her account is set to private, maybe we can see about changing that seeing that you all have already, and continue to send friend requests.” Dan shrugged toward me.
“Already on it! Deleting some stuff with visible addresses, then changing it all the public, woo! Get ready for lots and lots of photos of me drinking juice” I chimed in from out of view.
“Ha, whoo boy yeah, does she ever like her cold press!” Dan laughed “anyway guys, thanks for watching! Bye!”
“Bye!”
“Well shit, that happened.” My frizzy haired husband exhaled and slouched deeper into the couch.
I shifted on the couch to lay my head on his lap. “Yes, yes it did, not really how either of us hoped, but yeah the world knows.” I yawned, apparently still tired.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag.” Dan looked down while playing with my hair.
“Well, not the entire cat,” I shifted my head to look up at him, “when are we gonna tell them about this?” I placed my hands on the barely there bump on my lower torso, completely hidden by my oversized sweater.
“Oh, I’m gonna leave that for someone else to slip up on, they’ve got a good five months to do so.” He reached down to place a hand over mine. “My money’s on Barry” he laughed.
“No, Suzy for sure.” I said matter of factly before snuggling into Dan’s hand that was still in my hair.