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  1. Rec 37

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    Aziraphale finds himself at a Greek orgy in order to bestow a blessing upon a musician, but finds Crowley instead. When a man fails to please her, Crowley spitefully offers to teach him how to 'properly' satisfy a woman. Aziraphale intercedes, offering to demonstrate. But only with Crowley. The demon doesn't believe he's capable, but Aziraphale is about to prove her wrong.

    or: Aziraphale and Crowley have sex at an orgy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    1,376

    19 Dec 2024

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  2. Rec 78

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    That sealed the deal – Crowley didn’t even care what the man looked like, he wanted him. He wasn’t too bothered about whether or not his advance might be unwelcome – his gaydar pinged rather heavily at the man in his tartan bowtie. Of course, there was every chance Crowley wasn’t his type, but that didn’t always matter either – and he really was quite… keen. It had been a while.

    “What are you reading?” He asked, doing his best to sound seductive, and feeling oddly weird about it, like he didn’t quite hit the right tone. The stranger straightened up and turned around to look at him – and just like that, Crowley’s fantasies popped like a balloon.

    The other man was beautiful, yes, a cute button nose, almost criminally blue eyes, an innocent and yet very attractive expression on his face… but he was young. Crowley had assumed the other man to be his age, maybe a few years older – this man was at minimum ten years younger than him. He tried not to cringe, suddenly feeling quite sleazy about his previous thoughts.

    “Oscar Wilde, Salome.” The other man replied, fingers still stroking the page.

    Well, DAMN.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,659
    Chapters:
    52/52
    Comments:
    279
    Kudos:
    537
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    16,385

    01 Dec 2024

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  3. Rec 91

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    “Is my nose…”

    “Not broken. Just… just a little nosebleed. Not a bad one either.” He confirmed. Aziraphale carefully withdrew the tissue – and really, there were only a few drops of blood. “Let me see?” The other man said, carefully tilting his head, only to snatch his hands back a moment later. “Erm, sorry. I shouldn’t have – sorry. You’re fine, it’s stopped.”

    He blinked at the stranger, wondering how he’d ended up in the situation he was in. “You’re… not very cool, are you?” He asked, only to realise how rude that was a moment later.

    Uncomfortable silence reigned between them for several moments, then the other man burst into laughter. He howled with it – and to Aziraphale’s relief, he didn’t seem offended at all, not even when he stopped with a final giggle a minute later.

    “Wow! Bit of a bastard, aren’t you?” The older man asked with a huge grin.

    “Am I? I’m not the one who hit you with a door.”

    The other man’s smile turned to a grimace. “Yes, I am sorry – you’re kidding, aren’t you?” He asked in a defeated tone.
    Aziraphale grinned at him. “Yeah, mostly. I feel better now.”

    “Good, that’s good. Listen, I… can I buy you lunch? To say sorry?” The other man offered.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,585
    Chapters:
    52/52
    Comments:
    279
    Kudos:
    488
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    14,251

    01 Dec 2024

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  4. Rec 26

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    Aziraphale and Crowley decide to experiment with chastity play, with Aziraphale holding the key to Crowley’s device. What starts as just a tease develops into something deliciously intense.

    With art by rainyr

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,523
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    245
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,818

    31 Aug 2024

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  5. Rec *

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    Crowley gets a (spicy) massage. Under duress.

    ***

     

    “Crowley, you are in pain. You’ve been in pain all day. Just let me sort it out for you.”

     

    “I really don’t think your powers are designed to do that for me. It feels all… icky. Leaves a weird taste in my mouth when you use them on me.”

     

    “You could at least let me try!”

     

    “No way.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,158
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    660
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    5,127

    01 Aug 2024

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  6. Rec *

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    The firefighter lifts the visor on their helmet, and Crowley may not be able to see very well, but those are the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen in his life.

    Crowley has never been one for the whole 'love at first sight' business, but he may need to reassess after Aziraphale - a gorgeous firefighter - saves his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,764
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    562
    Kudos:
    1,100
    Bookmarks:
    250
    Hits:
    18,932

    23 Jun 2024

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  7. Rec 86

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    "I have you down for the ninety-minute deep tissue massage today," Aziraphale said into the comfortable quiet. "Any particular trouble spots you'd like me to focus on?"

    Crowley shot him a lascivious smirk, and he pursed his mouth at her in disapproval.

    "I was going to confirm the Heavenly Hands upgrade separately, as per usual," he snipped. "Those trigger points you have in your upper back are at least as important for your overall relaxation as any other services provided."

    OR

    Even girlbosses need a bit of stress relief between gaslighting and gatekeeping, and Crowley is no exception. Good thing she has a standing appointment with an angel from Higher Calling Relaxation. (A porn trope parody fic.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,513
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    567
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    3,993

    02 Jun 2024

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  8. Rec 34

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    When Crowley, an incubus, is left for dead by his own kind in the tiny village of West Foxham, he never expects to be taken in by a priest. Aziraphale has his own demons to fight though, and a secret second job that may just feed Crowley better than he could ever have imagined. This is the story of a priest and a demon, of redemption and love, and of the power of finding your own side.

    Or, as my lovely friends like to call it, "The Incubus Phone Sex Fic".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,368
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    218
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    2,166

    18 May 2024

  9. Rec *

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    ...in those early years, when Crowley would slide a hand between his legs for some relief, the scenes in his mind showed an Aziraphale who gave Crowley what he wanted, yes, but gave it as a favour. As a punishment.

    That Aziraphale would be mocking, almost bored, as he bent Crowley over a bed or put him on his knees. Poor excuse for a demon, he’d sneer. Look at how desperate you are. Ridiculous. Is this what you wanted? And Crowley would take it, take it gratefully, penance and pleasure both. His desire satisfied by its own consequence.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,214
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    217
    Kudos:
    982
    Bookmarks:
    227
    Hits:
    12,460

    16 Apr 2024

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  10. Rec 26

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    “Sorry, sorry,” but he’s grinning — this is delightful, this is perfect, after six thousand years of longing and fantasies and frustration, Crowley is in trouble for this five-second pause he has taken to let this love just wash over him. He cannot believe his good luck.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,789
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    191
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1,421

    06 Apr 2024

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  11. Rec 39

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    Summary

    “You,” Trent grits out, “are going to hell, Ted Lasso.”

    “I,” Ted replies, smiling, “will see you there, Trent Crimm.”

    He leans in, gives him a kiss, and Trent tries to hold onto his righteous frustration, but it’s impossible. All he wants is Ted; he dissolves into him accordingly, melting right into his mouth, and Ted dirties their kiss without hesitation, his tongue slipping along Trent’s as his hands glide around to his back. His fingertips dig in, so hard Trent can start to feel the bite of his nails even through his shirt.

    As quickly as Ted pushed in, he pulls away. Trent’s only vindication is the flush on his cheeks, a small reminder that Ted is just as affected by this as Trent is.

    Well—

    Maybe not just as affected yet, but. Then again, Trent is the only one of the two of them with a vibrator currently shoved up his ass. So.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,639
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    2,449

    02 Apr 2024

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  12. Rec 25

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    Summary

    Aziraphale’s specialty was indulgence; if you looked in the Encyclopædia Britannica, you might as well see a little picture of the angel, pink cheeked and well-stuffed.

     

    Complete and utter indulgence was what Crowley had been aiming to elicit in his angel when he made the decision that this year, they would be celebrating Valentine’s Day.

     

    Crowley gifts Aziraphale with roses and chocolates, and receives a proper reward for his devotion.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,725
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2,243

    20 Mar 2024

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  13. Rec 68

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    Summary

    When Aziraphale steps into the stall of the rotunda, the poor darling he’s to cultivate is yanking against their restraints and breathing harsh through their nose as they shout muffled invectives through the silky gag covering their mouth. The ripening sling they’re suspended in sways in sinuous arcs as they thrash, and Aziraphale is put in mind of a furious snake writhing without traction, helpless, on silk sheets.

     

    OR

    A bit of a bastard is back at the sex club for more consensual non-consent, and a familiar serpent is ready to be trussed up and cultivated.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,741
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    781
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    16,440

    14 Mar 2024

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  14. Rec 93

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    Summary

    Oh, if only Aziraphale were the two-dimensional service dispenser many of his patrons mistake him for. But alas, he is a victim of the common human malaise that is having a rich, complex inner life. Most relevant to his current predicament, in addition to being generally kindhearted, intelligent, and inclined to being helpful, Aziraphale is also a bit of a bastard. And, sometimes, he just wants to go apeshit.

    OR

    A bit of a bastard visits his favorite sex club looking for a fun bit of consensual non-consent, and an anonymous serpent is a fan of kabeshiri.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,890
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    947
    Bookmarks:
    93
    Hits:
    11,848

    14 Mar 2024

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  15. Rec 70

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    Summary

    The second coming thwarted, Crowley and Aziraphale head off in the Bentley towards the South Downs. But after six thousand years of waiting, and now suddenly not having to, Crowley can't stop looking at him. When he discovers he can touch Aziraphale as well, laying a testing hand against his thigh, it becomes inevitable that they don't quite make it all the way to the cottage before having to touch each other quite a lot more.
    First time hand jobs in the Bentley, parked in a quiet lane in the countryside.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,274
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    423
    Bookmarks:
    70
    Hits:
    3,233

    11 Feb 2024

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  16. Rec *

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    There was Crowley - the paragon of cool, the overlord of apathy, breezing easily through each and every one of their exchanges and giving no fucks while doing so; then there was the anachronistic, cloying Aziraphale, trying and failing not to live life like a Thomas Hardy protagonist, and giving many fucks indeed.

    Or: Aziraphale has quite the pash on his colleague Crowley, who seems resolutely disinterested in him. As their annual Christmas party progresses, it appears that Crowley may not be as disinterested as Aziraphale first thought.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,019
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    328
    Kudos:
    958
    Bookmarks:
    223
    Hits:
    14,602

    24 Jan 2024

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  17. Rec 31

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    Summary

    Crowley was in love.

    This was not a new concept for the demon. He had known his own feelings for over 6,000 years (try as he might not to make them known). He had always been captivated by the Principality Aziraphale. From his good heart, to his catty attitude, all the way down to his hedonistic tendencies. He loved it all: every flaw, every quirk. They all came together to make his beautiful angel.

    And sometimes, if he played his cards right, those small pieces worked out deliciously in his favor.

    ------

    Or: The one where Crowley gets used like a writing desk.

    I wrote this for the smut war over on GOAfterdark!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,318
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    214
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    2,016

    11 Jan 2024

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  18. Rec 14

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    Summary

    Aziraphale should have brought the books that he'd selected home instead of staying at the Library to read them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,264
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1,308

    10 Jan 2024

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  19. Rec 26

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    Summary

    When Aziraphale invited Crowley to wine and dine at Petronius' new restaurant with him, the demon had no idea that they'd finish the night in an entirely different situation.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,786
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    203
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,025

    07 Jan 2024

  20. Rec 64

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    Summary

    Aziraphale liked all sorts of men, really, just as he liked all sorts of food or people, but it was just another tier in his hierarchy of preferences. He liked soft, quiet, bookish men like himself. He liked the loud, flamboyant men who tottered out of gay bars in heels and glitter. He liked the rough hands and furred chests and the musky sweat of men that worked in the sun all day. He had his favorites, though, because of course he did.

    What Aziraphale liked most was men in suits.

    He spoke to them in a language they understood, a language they trusted. With money and contracts. It was, as the kids might call it, a “side-hustle”, though Aziraphale would never call it that. It was just a hobby, one that he was careful not to indulge in too often. Temperance is a virtue, after all.

    ---

    In which Aziraphale is a bit of a bastard who knows what he likes, is good at what he does, and offers his services to those who've got enough money to be worth his time.

    And Crowley? Well, he's just trying to figure things out as he goes.

    (Each chapter will have an individual CW at the beginning in case there's anything in particular you want to avoid)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,198
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    333
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    8,787

    03 Jan 2024

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