sardonic_sprite
Fandoms
- Batman - All Media Types (101)
- Batman (Comics) (98)
- Marvel Cinematic Universe (11)
- The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (10)
- Captain America (Movies) (5)
Recent works
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life's no longer empty by sardonic_sprite
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
21 Jul 2024
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Summary
Dust covered every flat surface, and layers of food grime had built up on the counters and dishes in the scummy-water-filled sink in the small kitchen, not that there were many.
The trash can beside the sink was piled a foot above its limit with various takeout containers, all holding too many, too moldy leftovers.
A few other, equally toxic-looking containers and a good half-dozen mugs with various volumes of stone-cold coffee littered the tables - kitchen and coffee - as well as a chaotic mess of papers, folders, and notebooks, most wrinkled, stained, and torn.
But all that was nothing compared to the boy standing amid the wreck.
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Safe and Warm [podfic] by sardonic_sprite for quotidian_void
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
12 May 2024
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Summary
Batman.
Batman lived right next door. Batman surely had a generator, or at least a fireplace and wood, or some way to get warm.
Batman took care of kids, and Mr. Wayne was really nice. He would at least let Tim warm himself back up. Maybe he could even stay just until the power came back on.
It was worth a shot.
Series
- Part 4 of In A Better World
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[podfic] bane by sardonic_sprite for intimidated_but_here_anyway
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
10 Jan 2024
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Summary
"What the fuck does that mean?"
“It means, Detective,” Ra’s said irritably, “that shortly before you all awoke, one of your children was forced to ingest a poison of my own design, the effects of which will become fatal in a little over one hour.”
Bruce could hardly breathe.
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[podfic] Wayne Men Take Buzzfeed's "Which Robin Are You" Quiz by sardonic_sprite
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
05 Jan 2024
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Summary
"Hi, I'm Bruce Wayne."
"I'm Dick Grayson."
"Damian Wayne."
*crickets*
"This is Tim," Bruce said, wincing.
"He hasn't been properly caffienated yet."
"And today," Dick took over, "We're taking the Buzzfeed Which Robin Are You quiz, which, for security reasons, is the Which of The One And Only Ever Robin's Multiple Personalities Are You quiz."
Series
- Part 18 of Celebrity BatWaynes
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A Christmas Carol by sardonic_sprite
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
29 Dec 2023
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Summary
Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol rewritten for the Batfamily
Recent series
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Summary
It seems that no universe is able to chill when it comes to Gotham's Waynes. But what if this one did, just a little?
Tim is adopted early.
Jason never dies.
Cass is also adopted early.- Words:
- 6,205
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 571
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Celebrity BatWaynes by sardonic_sprite, SkullKitten
Fandom: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), DCU (Comics), The Bachelor (TV)
05 Jan 2024
Summary
So we all know the Wayne fam are canonically celebrities. So what shenanigans and chaos ensue when they get involved in all the inevitable celebrity media?
PSA:
Some fics in this series will involve romantic relationships. They will be tagged accordingly.
If you prefer not to read such fics, I am more than happy to provide summaries of the events in that work (including key jokes that may come back). Additionally, feel free to ask to what degree the relationship will feature in a fic and in the series moving forward. You can leave these questions on any fic in this series, or on my tumblr
Thank you
- Sprite 🧚♀️- Words:
- 80,599
- Works:
- 18
- Bookmarks:
- 946
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Reverend Wayne/Colonial AU by sardonic_sprite
Fandom: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
05 Jun 2023
Summary
An alternate universe where Reverend Bruce Wayne gains adopted children by rescuing them from varied tragic or dangerous circumstances faced by people in Colonial America.
- Words:
- 13,597
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 31
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School work is important by sardonic_sprite, SkullKitten
Fandom: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992), Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (TV Movie 1996), Encanto (2021), Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Animated Series, Star Trek: The Original Series, Supernatural (TV 2005)
16 Dec 2022
- Words:
- 3,513
- Works:
- 4
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Y'know, we've all got battle scars by sardonic_sprite
Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
15 Feb 2023
- Words:
- 9,495
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 4
Recent bookmarks
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Rules were made because of Dick Grayson by KitsuneThorn for Lilituism
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
18 Mar 2023
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Summary
Dick Grayson woke up tied to a chair in a warehouse, injured, drugged, and unable to remember exactly how he ended up there. It was probably fine.
There were protocols, rules in place, on how to behave when kidnapped as a civilian. Every Robin and Batgirl knew the rules. But most of them didn't know just how many of those rules existed because of Dick Grayson.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,291
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 67
- Kudos:
- 2,099
- Bookmarks:
- 490
- Hits:
- 20,585
Bookmarked by sardonic_sprite
25 Mar 2023
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Collected Bat-Family Stories by CloakedSparrow
Fandom: Action Comics, Action Comics (Comics), Adventure Comics (Comics), Adventure Comics - Fandom, Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Bat Family (Comics), Bat Family (DCU), Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), Batman and the Outsiders (Comics), Batman: A Death in the Family (Comics), Batman: Damned (Comics), Batman: Gotham Knights (Comics 2000), Batman: Gotham Knights (Comics), Batman: Shadow of the Bat (Comics), Batwing (Comics), DCU (Comics), Detective Comics (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Green Arrow (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Green Lantern Corps (Comics), Identity Crisis (Comics), Impulse (Comics), Infinite Crisis (Comics), Justice League of America (Comics), Midnighter (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Outsiders (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days, Red Hood: Outlaw (Comics), Red Lanterns (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics), Suberboy (Comics), Super Sons (Comics), Superboy (Comics), Superman (Comics), Superman/Batman (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics), The Man of Steel (Comics), Titans (Comics), Under the Red Hood, Wonder Girl (Comics), Wonder Woman (Comics), World's Finest (Comics), Young Justice (Comics)
26 May 2024
Summary
A collection of interconnected ficlets, one shots, and stories, all focused on the Bat Family. All are based on the comics only, but blend assorted canons.
- Words:
- 811,225
- Works:
- 96
- Bookmarks:
- 1,025
Bookmarked by sardonic_sprite
13 Feb 2023
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Summary
“So we’re agreed that all of them are going to the hospital tonight, right?” Tim’s voice was tight with false calm.
A New Year's Eve gala turns into a hostage situation and Bruce is injured. His children are not pleased.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 58
- Kudos:
- 870
- Bookmarks:
- 184
- Hits:
- 5,411
Bookmarked by sardonic_sprite
29 Nov 2022
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The Dark Knight Strikes Back by audreycritter for husborth
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
03 Oct 2018
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Summary
If Bruce knew anything, he'd know one simply didn't finish Minecraft.
Tim would have told him, but he didn't exactly expect him to actually play-- Bruce didn't play things.
Dick remembers Bruce playing things. Jason does, too.
There's a hard line between what Bruce was like before and what he was like after the, well, you know. The thing with Jason.
Maybe it's time for that to change.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,249
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 207
- Kudos:
- 5,259
- Bookmarks:
- 1,681
- Hits:
- 37,224
Bookmarked by sardonic_sprite
27 Aug 2022
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four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero brain cells to be found by Ms_Trickster
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
25 Apr 2021
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Summary
Tim: i need to know what’s the best way to a boy’s heart
Damian: Easy. The best way to someone’s heart is through their ribcage. Everyone knows that.
Damian: Come on Timothy, I expected better from you.
Dick: I-
Dick: Try again
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Tim is having boy troubles.
Tim goes to his brothers for help.
Tim...did not think that plan of action through.
(In which the batbros give Tim advice on relationships, told entirely through texts.)
Series
- Part 1 of welcome to the land of no brain cells
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,583
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 674
- Kudos:
- 8,790
- Bookmarks:
- 1,354
- Hits:
- 70,692
Bookmarked by sardonic_sprite
18 Aug 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
Batboys being ridiculous with a hilarious dose of TimKon