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Turn from shadows (to the dawn of your embrace) by rubikswriter
Fandoms: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
14 Aug 2022
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Summary
Darkness, as it turns out, isn’t something that’s exclusive to Villanelle. It’s inherently part of Eve too, always there, clawing at her, whispering for her to break what shouldn’t be broken, to push when she should be still. Her whole life Eve has felt displaced, longing for more, to feel whole and at peace, and it’s only now that she’s stopped denying it and has let herself embrace it, that Eve knows she can only feel that way with Villanelle.
A 4x08 fix-it fic.
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Eve always enjoyed anything morbid, the beauty found in the gruesome things others would find unbearably horrifying to think about. It was one of the many reasons Villanelle had loved her so much and yearned to reunite with her as soon as possible; her darkness needed Eve’s for companionship, to conspire and play with.
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Death was Eve’s card, it was meant to take her and yet it took Villanelle instead, and dammit, it should have been Eve; it was her fate, not Villanelle’s. And ever since that wretched mistake was made, death has refused Eve every time she’s tried, and now it dares to taunt her with this imposter.
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It’s not that Villanelle isn’t relieved to be alive. She is. She’s fucking grateful.
But…
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Eve watches her go, watches her be taken into the blackness below and feels her heart sink with her.
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- Part 12 of Somewhere In Between
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She’s too stubborn to admit defeat, and now that she finally has Eve there’s no way she can back down and lose.
And certainly not like this.
This is bullshit.
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- Part 11 of Somewhere In Between
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As she steps foot inside Gunn’s cabin for the first time, Villanelle is struck with the memory of a different cabin; the fantasy of secluded life in the cold Alaskan snow, just her and Eve, with nobody to bother them. Only this cabin is uncomfortably real, and so is the recognition of manipulation that Villanelle grows aware of. There’s no choices, only decisions already made.
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- Part 10 of Somewhere In Between
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It’s typical that being struck by an arrow is what has finally brought Villanelle to her knees, especially when Eve moves around the bed to kneel at her side like some twisted version of Cupid looking down at her.
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- Part 9 of Somewhere In Between
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Where Eve’s pulse was drumming rapidly in her ears only moments before, she now finds her chest silent and hollow, her heart struck through with the same arrow as Villanelle, and leaving her thoroughly unravelling on the cold pavement next to her love.
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- Part 8 of Somewhere In Between
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Eve hears the roar of an engine, the screeching of tyres and feels her eyes being drawn back to Villanelle. She watches helplessly as a car hurtles around the corner, its course heading in a straight line towards where Villanelle is standing.
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- Part 7 of Somewhere In Between
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Eve understands the cold shoulder, it’s nothing less than she deserves but they’re here, together, and Eve guesses starting somewhere is better than continuing on her path of denial.
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- Part 6 of Somewhere In Between
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‘Come on,’ Villanelle says a moment later when she notices Eve shivering again, and passes Eve her turtle neck back. ‘It’s freezing, we need to keep warm.’ Eve watches as Villanelle sets to work zipping the two sleeping bags together. Eve quirks an eyebrow questioningly but Villanelle just shrugs. ‘Our combined body heat will be better, Eve.’
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- Part 5 of Somewhere In Between
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Eve’s indifference to her, while hurtful, is the loudest protest Eve could possibly make, and Villanelle hears it so, so clearly. It screams of Eve’s avoidance and her wavering self assurance, and Villanelle knows her current position is a result of Eve’s lack of control, not her own.
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- Part 4 of Somewhere In Between
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Despite her best efforts though, she cannot wrap her head around the whole divine, higher being thing. She’s meant to be doing all this goodness in God’s name, and yet Villanelle knows she’s really doing it in hers instead; Eve.
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- Part 1 of Somewhere In Between
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‘I want to smell your skin,’ Villanelle blurts out in response to Martin’s prompt, making Eve’s brow furrow in confusion.
‘I erm… what?’ Eve mumbles in bewilderment.
Martin has the audacity to chuckle softly. ‘I think what Villanelle is trying to say is can she have a hug? Physical intimacy such as a shared embrace can have remarkable healing undertones.’
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- Part 2 of Somewhere In Between
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Where before Eve had been consumed by the desire for revenge, now she’s overcome with unbearable regret. What they’ve done, what Eve wanted them to do, has categorically not been worth it. There’s no sense of fulfilment, no sense of peace and freedom, just overwhelming remorse for all that could have been and all that she’s lost the chance to have.
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- Part 3 of Somewhere In Between
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Eve’s scar - the scar she’d possessively marked Eve with - calls to her like a Sirens song, and Villanelle is undeniably helpless to the bewitching, her fingertips lured by the unquenchable desire to reach out and touch it in unadulterated wonder.
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There were so many variable outcomes that should have come from her and Villanelle’s final confrontation with Hélène; violence, and more than likely death, being the ones that Eve had predicted most.
But not even in her wildest and weirdest imaginings did Eve ever expect this…
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Feelings are strange, fickle things that Eve hasn’t always been the best at dealing with, but she knows this time everything is different. This is it, her speak now or forever hold her peace moment, and well they’d said no regrets, hadn’t they?
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If anyone had ever told Villanelle that sex with Eve would be like this, like some all consuming, addictive, wicked little game that Villanelle never wants to stop playing, Villanelle’s not sure she would have believed them.