noumenaut
Fandoms
Recent works
-
i might like you better if we slept together by noumenaut
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Oct 2022
Tags
Summary
izzy's a lonely freshman who needs friends. a gorgeous girl named ed invites her to pledge for the sorority she runs with her co-president, stede. turns out stede is kind of a sadistic bitch! also there's another girl here for some reason? who the fuck is jack?
-
sit on his face and explain why i'm toxic by noumenaut
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
30 Sep 2022
Tags
Summary
jim's catholic which means NO piv (god says so). oluwande, legendary king of vibes, is at the end of his fuckin' rope. he eats pussy about it!
-
Tags
Summary
mary and doug have a sexy to-do list and next up is one of mary's. she wants to fuck blackbeard! and it's her birthday! and she deserves to have everything she wants! doug is there for encouragement. stede is there for his own personal humiliation, i guess.
-
Tags
Summary
post-canon season 1, life on the breakup ship only gets worse. ed's capricious violence pushes izzy to the edge, jim and frenchie are forced to find a way to survive their time. jim tries to grow closer to the captain and his first mate. frenchie gets in touch with a ghost.
-
Tags
Summary
izzy pulls something strange out of the water - a sputtering little spitfire of a lad with a familiar tattoo and a bone to pick. ed sees an opportunity to right some wrongs. izzy wishes he were fucking dead.
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Frat bros Jack and Ed conspire to fuck Izzy when they’re high, drunk and horny.
Series
- Part 24 of Izzy gets wrecked
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,816
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 42
- Kudos:
- 661
- Bookmarks:
- 63
- Hits:
- 12,422
Bookmarked by noumenaut
24 May 2022
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
the ur text of jackedhands frat boy
fuckery 💖 -
And there's a chance that things'll get weird. Yeah, that's a possibility. by pintpotjudas for postcardmystery
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
29 Oct 2022
Tags
Summary
Viago gets dumped by the love of his afterlife, and everyone does their level (terrible) best to help him move on. Anton knows a thing or two about not getting the life you thought you were going to have. The camera crew are back to film every moment of it. More or less.
“Katherine left Viago a note.” Deacon says, turning to the camera and making a face as a moan of anguish echoes from behind the closed door of Viago’s chamber. “It seems that she met a younger man at the bingo hall, and they have- well, not ‘run’ away, because I do not think he can run with that metal frame thing he has to use to get about but- they have left.”
A crash comes from inside the room, and then more heartbroken crying.
Deacon winces. “Vladislav is comforting him.”
“We could just kill her if you like-” Vladislav can be heard saying.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,342
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 419
- Kudos:
- 1,633
- Bookmarks:
- 446
- Hits:
- 26,885
Bookmarked by noumenaut
27 May 2022
-
Three way, freeway, take me like a sailor by Leu (Karaii)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
25 Apr 2022
Tags
Summary
“Aww, Iz,” Ed says, but he doesn’t sound annoyed. In fact, one of his hands is kneading the pudge of Izzy’s stomach, firm soothing motions that Izzy clings to to quiet down the screaming inside his brain and the buzzing of his ears.
“That was fucking raw, man,” Jack says, but his tone doesn’t sound disgusted so much as it does incredulous, and admiring. “God damn.”
Bookmarked by noumenaut
14 May 2022
-
Leda House and the Kraken 'Verse by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse), Vera_DragonMuse
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Jul 2024
Summary
A modern AU that follows the entire staff of the drag bar named Revenge as well as their partners and the Bonnet children. Features drag shows, late in life coming out stories, romance in many forms, and as much found family as you could ask for.
- Words:
- 1,161,992
- Works:
- 40
- Bookmarks:
- 387
Bookmarked by noumenaut
13 May 2022
-
Writing Porn (and other ways to seduce your vampire roommates) by UnfortunatelyObsessed for foxymandy3100, nerdykai128
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
27 Mar 2022
Tags
Summary
“There,” he says. “Taken care of. Now back to my problems—“
“NANDOR!” Guillermo is already yelling, snatching the vacuum away and pressing his face to the dusty old bag. “Can you hear me?!” He thinks he hears a defeated, squished help, and he scowls at Laszlo. “How the hell am I meant to get him out of here in one piece?!”
“Not my problem,” Laszlo deadpans. “What is my problem is that I’ve run out of porn to read.”
“Holy fucking—“ Guillermo is off, muttering curses as he unearths Laszlo’s laptop from under a pile of crap. “Use your computer. You know, the one you made me steal from Best Buy?! Just Google it!”
“There’s porn on the internet?”
“THAT IS ALL THAT IS ON THE INTERNET!”
Bookmarked by noumenaut
11 Apr 2022