merlinreader99
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Dean is fragile—like the silence that has made home in his throat. Sometimes, in the dead of the night, when it’s just him and his cold, dark and empty room, Dean would reach up and feel his own face—a baseless need to make sure he hasn’t turned into mist or whatever. It’s not that Dean’s lost his voice or anything—he can feel it down in his throat, though it’s rattling in his chest, stuck and unmoving. Every time he tries to speak, the weight of each word presses down on his chest until he feels his ribs ache, like he’s having compressions done on him and his bones are starting to cave under the pressure. There’s something vaguely familiar about this feeling—an urge to make himself as small as he can until he sinks into the walls. Everything around him feels out of place, and a size bigger—the bunker, his room, his own skin—with too many empty spaces like an ill-fitting suit. He could pull a few words out of his throat if he pushes hard enough, but Dean’s so goddamn exhausted.
But, even when he feels like a shadow of who he used to be, Cas is still the one thing that makes him feel more alive than his own burdened beating heart.
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After Michael, Dean stops talking.
Bookmarked by merlinreader99
17 Dec 2024
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It’s not like Buck needs anyone to tell him what his issues are. They might as well be written on his forehead in bright red marker. He’s not ignoring it or anything; Buck just doesn’t see the point in re-litigating them every time he feels like this, every time he feels like a dog that got sent back to the pound. It’s not like he doesn’t have his friends and family, and Tommy is sleeping right next to him, but there’s a hole in Buck’s chest he’s had since he was born and he still doesn’t know how to fill it.
When the 118 is closed for reconstruction after an earthquake, Buck is a floater for different stations around the city. He tries not to let it get to him. Much.
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“You could touch me?” Buck says, his smile is crooked and charming but a little nervous too. He pushes his face further into the cushions like he’s trying to slip through and hide beneath the fabric. Eddie has never wanted to touch someone more, and Buck is even offering, but it feels forbidden to act on it, like he’s on some prank show where the presenter will jump out and laugh at Eddie for ever thinking he could have something he wanted without shame and that sick feeling in his stomach following behind.
But Buck persists, shifting closer, “If you want, you could, wh-whenever you want, I’d like it.”
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Five times Buck and Eddie touch platonically plus one time they realise it's not platonic at all.
Bookmarked by merlinreader99
01 Dec 2024
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taking my time but i don’t know where by cosmicocean
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel
20 May 2024
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“The fuck are you supposed to be?” Barnes asks. “Red and Blue Boy?”
“I’m Spiderman.” The kid sounds like he’s frowning.
“Fuck you are. You’re like twelve.”
“I am not,” he protests, voice cracking. He winces.
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Bookmarked by merlinreader99
29 Nov 2024
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The birthmark is technically an imperfection. Buck is full of those but this one is visible and prominent; having it ignored or ridiculed hurts in the same way. The only thing he wants—the only thing he’s ever wanted—is for someone to see his imperfections, acknowledge them, and love him, anyway.
It’s stupid, it’s so fucking stupid, but that’s how it feels when Eddie’s lips press into his birthmark and then he smiles at Buck just as fondly as he did before. It feels like Eddie is seeing him, all of him. Acknowledging those imperfections and loving him, anyway.
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OR: 5 times Eddie kisses Buck's birthmark & 1 time he doesn't.
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- English
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by merlinreader99
27 Nov 2024