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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “What else was I supposed to say, Sam?” Dean asks him. “I’m not...look, Cas is my best friend, and I care about him. That’s it.”

    “And you renovated a house for him,” Sam continues. “And live with him.”

    or: a year in the life, in which it takes some time, but they figure it out

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,254
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    628
    Kudos:
    3,817
    Bookmarks:
    1,457
    Hits:
    71,178

    19 Dec 2024

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean keeps going back.

    When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

    He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

    He likes to talk.

    There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

    Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,173
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    752
    Kudos:
    3,219
    Bookmarks:
    1,135
    Hits:
    51,841

    11 Dec 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "Fine, whatever. Love you too, asshole. I hope you enjoy your walk home with your stupid, grainy bread. Taking Nature's Own a little too much to heart, but sure," Dean tells him, flashing him a sarcastic smile and swiveling around in the aisle to march away. He throws out something over his shoulder, careless and barbed. "I'm not paying for that shitty cardboard." 

    Dean's three aisles over when he realizes what, precisely, he said. Thankfully, when he comes to this conclusion, he's holding a box of poptarts, so when he fumbles and drops them to the floor, it's not a huge mess. He stares down at the slightly dented box of Brown Sugar Poptarts, and he has a very swift and very unshakeable crisis right there and then. 

    Love you too, asshole. 

    No, no, no. Why would he say that? Why would he do that? In the middle of the goddamn grocery store while arguing about bread? That's not—that can't be how it happens. That can't be. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,182
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    522
    Kudos:
    6,822
    Bookmarks:
    1,737
    Hits:
    61,312

    10 Dec 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

    ~~~

    "You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

    Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

    Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

    "What?" Dean grits out.

    "I love you, too."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,240
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    765
    Kudos:
    7,488
    Bookmarks:
    2,526
    Hits:
    112,427

    09 Dec 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Canon-divergent from 12.08

    After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

    Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,922
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    309
    Kudos:
    3,043
    Bookmarks:
    995
    Hits:
    37,541

    08 Dec 2024

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Cas gives Dean a wooden carving to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary. But, despite their friends freaking out about it, it's not like that.

    (or; Dean and Cas build a gentle life together, in the wrong order.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,156
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    1,502
    Bookmarks:
    439
    Hits:
    12,020

    08 Dec 2024

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Cas comes back. It's not exactly the reunion that Dean is expecting.

    ~~~

    Dean stares at him, flummoxed. Cas quite literally poured his heart out to Dean, gave a truly sappy and distressingly romantic speech and everything, then proceeded to give his life so that Dean could live his. And he wants to act like he doesn't want to see Dean, be around him, touch him?

    Actually, Dean's ninety-nine percent sure that Cas probably wants to fuck him, and while he has no clue how he feels about that, he's pretty goddamn sure that means Cas doesn't get to act like this and make it authentic.

    It feels strangely real, though, as if Cas wants nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible. This is a blatant contradiction. Even someone as weird as Cas doesn't want to get away from the person they have the desire to fuck five ways to Sunday, that they're in love with. That's not how these things work, so Dean isn't buying it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,727
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    893
    Kudos:
    8,973
    Bookmarks:
    2,274
    Hits:
    98,534

    08 Dec 2024

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean doesn't give him a chance to explain. Dean breaks his nose.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,769
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    1,188
    Bookmarks:
    225
    Hits:
    19,102

    05 Dec 2024

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

     

    (9x03 post-episode fic)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,063
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    2,206
    Bookmarks:
    504
    Hits:
    60,293

    05 Dec 2024

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Castiel falls, and falls, and falls. He comes home to Sam and Dean – he tries to learn, to accept, to adjust – but a former angel will always be out of place.

    This is humanity, as defined by a fallen angel, and feelings you didn’t know had a name.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,620
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    706
    Kudos:
    2,132
    Bookmarks:
    573
    Hits:
    25,987

    04 Dec 2024

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Castiel turns back.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,713
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    223
    Kudos:
    1,114
    Bookmarks:
    426
    Hits:
    17,644

    02 Dec 2024

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    “Take me,” Dean says. He doesn’t have to think about it. “Take me as your vessel, Cas.”

    *

    or: Cas is cursed into an endless sleep. Dean offers himself up as his vessel while they try to break it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,505
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    492
    Kudos:
    6,914
    Bookmarks:
    2,147
    Hits:
    59,790

    25 Nov 2024

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s September 18, 2008. Castiel is being deployed to rescue Dean Winchester from Hell.

    He lands in Dean Winchester’s motel room in 2003. Things go from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,546
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    725
    Kudos:
    6,687
    Bookmarks:
    2,301
    Hits:
    82,101

    25 Nov 2024

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

    Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,217
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    1,079
    Kudos:
    8,710
    Bookmarks:
    3,240
    Hits:
    149,965

    25 Nov 2024

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Dean takes a really, really long drive to kick fear in the ass. It might just be the best thing he ever decides to do.

    ~~~

    The seat squeaks, and Dean follows the sound, his gaze trailing down. There—where Jack sat moments ago—is a much tinier version of him. He looks mostly the same, just...smaller and more dimply and cuter, if that's possible. His clothes have shrunk to fit him, so he's casually sitting in a t-shirt, jeans, and scuffed tennis shoes. He swings his feet from side-to-side over the edge of Baby's seat the same way Sam used to in the back, and he stares up at Dean with clear eyes. 

    "Oh," Dean blurts out, eyes bulging, "Cas is going to fucking kill me." 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    121,930
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    1,229
    Kudos:
    6,304
    Bookmarks:
    1,912
    Hits:
    121,307

    23 Nov 2024

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “As for your current predicament… there may be something I can do to help.” Cas looks hesitant even as he says it, casting his eyes sidelong at Dean.

    Dean turns to him. “What d’you mean?”

    Castiel’s lips press into a thin line, all of the jovial glint gone from his eyes. “PTSD and trauma can alter pathways and connections in your brain, in a very physical way. Because these changes are physical… it may be possible to… heal them, in a sense.”

    “Heal my brain?” Dean shoots back incredulously.

    or the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,184
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    326
    Kudos:
    3,552
    Bookmarks:
    890
    Hits:
    42,575

    22 Nov 2024

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Cas asks Dean to marry him, and Dean can't think of a reason to say no.

    ~~~

    "Dean," Cas says calmly, gingerly sitting his fork down, and oh, this is gonna be a thing, Dean can tell. Sure enough, it is because Cas goes on to say, "What would you think if I suggested we get married?"

    Dean blinks and swallows the food in his mouth, staring at Cas curiously. "I would think...you were either on drugs or going insane, why?"

    "I'm not inebriated, nor mentally unstable."

    "I—I…" Dean takes in a deep breath, then blows it out heavily. "Cas, you're not fucking with me, are you?"

    "I'm not," Cas tells him.

    "Okay," he says, "fuck it, let's get hitched."

    "Thank you," Cas murmurs sincerely, then picks his fork back up and goes right back to eating.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,130
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    706
    Kudos:
    7,592
    Bookmarks:
    1,936
    Hits:
    63,993

    22 Nov 2024

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Hiatus fic set after the S11 finale. Dean's alive, Sam's alive, they're going to get Cas from wherever he got zapped to, and everything's finally gonna be all right. Dean's on top of the world.

    A little voice in the back of his head is whispering "It's never that easy," but Dean ignores it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    352,388
    Chapters:
    53/53
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    5,018
    Kudos:
    7,136
    Bookmarks:
    1,892
    Hits:
    220,968

    22 Nov 2024

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

    What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

    (It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    194,739
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    5,501
    Kudos:
    16,912
    Bookmarks:
    5,142
    Hits:
    491,613

    22 Nov 2024

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “You boys need anything else?” Mandy ask when she reappears beside the table, eyes bright and hopeful. “Coffee? Tea?” Her eyes rake over Cas and she bites her lip, sending every signal in the book. “Some dessert?”

    Dean grins as Mandy looks between them, mostly at Cas. Cas gives Dean the ‘is that an innuendo?’ squint and Dean nods. “You know in fact we would like some dessert. My buddy here’s kind of shy about it so we were hoping for…something to take back to our room.”

    “Really?” Mandy purrs, finally looking at Dean with some interest.

    “Yeah, but we were hoping for something we could split.” Mandy’s eyebrows go high just as Cas’s eyes get even narrower. “Anything like that on the menu?”

    Mandy looks between the two of them, licking at her lips. “I think I can get something like that for you.”

    ------

    Or: The one where Dean and Cas have a threesome with the cute waitress because Dean can't deal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,686
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    164
    Kudos:
    1,913
    Bookmarks:
    412
    Hits:
    20,104

    22 Nov 2024

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