lifeisnowwithyou



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    There’s mud on his hands. There’s mud on his hands and he has to dig deeper, quicker, because Eddie is forty feet beneath him and surely he can’t breathe because the well is gone and Eddie is gone and Buck can’t follow him.

    “Eddie,” his throat feels raw, the words wrong to his ears, “Eddie.”

    “Yeah,” Eddie says, holding onto him, “I'm right here, Buck, I’m right here.”

    “I can’t—” Buck breaks off, his trembling, dirty hand in the air and Eddie must understand because he takes Buck's hand without question and pulls it to his chest, right over his heart.

    {or five times Buck needs to feel Eddie's heartbeat and the one time Eddie needs to feel his}

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    12 Sep 2024

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  2. Public Bookmark 34

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    It seemed their pasts would always haunt them no matter how fast or how far they ran, waiting at every corner to push them back to the ground. Unlearning one's past will never be an easy fit, so when anger clouds Charles’ judgement and sorrow rips Edwin's chest apart they are bloody glad to have each other to fall back into.

    Or: A particular case, which reminds them all too much of their own painful experiences, forces the two ghosts to face their past. It’s not a pretty sight but luckily they have each other to hold tight onto until they get to the other side.

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    17 Jul 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Edwin does know Charles, or at least he likes to think that he does. He knows that Charles is far better with the clients than he is, quick to offer a smile or extend sympathy while Edwin is far more interested in delving deeper into the details of the case. He knows that Charles has a wicked swing with his cricket bat, but prefers to leave that as a second resort when he believes there's a way for them to come to a compromise. He knows that Charles chooses to hope for the best from people, even after having seen the worst they have to offer–and in fact, having been killed by it.

    As Charles sits in front of him, the strain in his shoulders at odds with the easy grin on his face, Edwin wonders how much of his friend he is failing to see.

    --

    5 times Edwin didn't press the issue, and one time he did.

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    13 Jul 2024

  4. Public Bookmark 67

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    Nothing changes after Hell. Until it does.

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    08 Jul 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    And Charles doesn’t notice that Edwin doesn't touch him anymore, maybe for no other reason than that he doesn’t want to, because doing so hurts, but then there’s a night when Edwin walks past him and he raises his hand like he wants to brush it against Charles’ arm – his metaphorical heartbeat picks up at that, like Charles has been waiting for this even more than he realised – but then, a second before his hand connects, Edwin pulls it back like he’s been burnt.

    And that, well. That hurts too.

    Edwin stops touching Charles; Charles doesn't deal well with it.

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    03 Jul 2024