holdinggrudges
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am i homophobic? (URGENT) (PLEASE HELP) by holdinggrudges
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
27 Aug 2023
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Summary
Now, it might be pretty early in the morning and Alex’s brain functions might not be working as quickly as they normally do, but he can still put two and two together. There's a strange man in their kitchen. Henry is shirtless, rumpled, and holding two pairs of boxers. Henry and this Sam guy slept together. Which… obviously is fine because Alex is not an asshole, but he’s definitely feeling something about this development that he will examine at a later date. But of course, instead of saying something normal, you know, like a normal person would, he says, “Ohh.” Like a fucking weirdo.
or: the "am i homophobic?" roommate au that no one asked for
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Arthur doesn’t know how it happened, but he thinks the smiles Merlin keeps throwing him might kill him. Perhaps he’s been cursed, some sort of spell has been put on him that makes him lose his breath every time he catches Merlin’s eyes.
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Mike used to dream about the day he would gain a love mark. When he was little, he was obsessed with them. He used to draw his books on every piece of paper he could get his hands on. After the fire, Mike never gained another mark, and he thought maybe that was for the better. He was broken now, damaged and scarred. He was sure that he would never see his books on anyone else’s skin.
Series
- Part 2 of love marks
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Eddie was perfectly content with only his own mark, a lion frozen mid-roar. It sat on his ankle, just like everyone else's. He didn't need anything else. He didn't want it either.
Series
- Part 1 of love marks
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Remus smiled at him, genuine despite his sulking. Sirius had a way of doing that, making Remus smile, really smile, no matter what was going through his head. “Just…some last minute packing.”
Just like Remus knew he would, Sirius got the message. He nodded, moved from his position in the doorway to shut the door. He opened his arms. “Come here.”
Recent series
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Summary
au: every person is born with an identifying mark on their ankle. when you fall in love with someone, you gain their mark somewhere on your body.
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- 5,930
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- 2
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- 1
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Christopher starts shaking more violently then. “Buck jumped back in the water for me.”
There’s a protocol for a lot of scenarios, both in the Army and as an EMT. Eddie is used to knowing what to do, and how to do it; who to help, and where. Yet now, hopelessness splits through him like a bullet. Eddie doesn’t know what else to do other than hold his kid tighter and press his lips to his temple.
“Is that– Christopher?” Hen asks over his shoulder. The tiny pocket of universe that he’s created with just him, his son, and Buck’s name battering in his chest unravels.
Still keeping Christopher in his arms, Eddie rises to his feet. “I made Buck watch him for the day to get him out of the house. He– he brought him to the pier.”
“Where is he, Eddie?” Bobby asks carefully.
There’s a protocol for a lot of scenarios, both in the Army and as an EMT, but not for this.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Evan Buckley can’t look his best friend in the eye and tell him he failed, so he doesn’t. He stumbles around a drowning wasteland looking for the brightest little boy he’s ever known, and when he can’t find him, he just… keeps on walking.
- Language:
- English
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- 30,460
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- 6/6
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- 182
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Bookmarked by holdinggrudges
30 Sep 2024
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literally crying sobbing throwing up etc omg read it read it read it
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“It’s just that—I died,” Buck continues, voice unsteady enough that Eddie wonders if this is the first time he’s acknowledged that out loud. “I died, and there’s so much more. There’s so much more I want to do, things I don’t even know I want to do yet, and I almost had the chance to have and live them taken away. I don’t want to die and regret missing out on everything else, Eddie.”
“So let’s make a list,” Eddie says. “Let’s do them.”
or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along
Series
- Part 1 of bucket list fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,477
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- 1/1
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- 573
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- 3,851
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- 1,596
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Bookmarked by holdinggrudges
19 Jun 2024
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REDWOOD TREES!!!!! that's all.
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Buck’s speaking again, telling him, “Go dry your hair, baby.”
And like, he’s stuck in his daydream. Completely crazy about it. So it’s not exactly his fault that he doesn’t register what Buck said until he’s in the bathroom again.
He straightens his shoulders out and looks at his reflection like maybe he’s actually lost it, but, no, those were real words coming from Buck, who is also real, so—
...or, how an accidental pet name, a thoughtful dinner, and a shared shirt makes them get their shit together.
Bookmarked by holdinggrudges
16 Jun 2024
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they are so in love. sickening.
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“I didn’t realize we needed to talk about it.”
“No, why would we? That’s what you’re good at, right? Hell, that’s what we’re good at, isn’t it? It’s just so much easier to pretend none of it ever happened. That you didn’t put me in your will, that I didn’t lose my mind when you were under that well — and I know you’ve seen the footage, Eddie, I know you saw how I handled it. How I didn’t. And I–I get it. It is easier. Until it starts catching up with you.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Buck groans, getting closer to him. He’s in Eddie’s space and he’s right where he wants him but his breath is warm where it fans across his skin for all the wrong reasons. God, for all the wrong reasons.
or: after kim, eddie's parents try convincing him chris should go to texas. eddie says no, chris has an extended sleepover with buck, eddie is incredibly in love with his best friend, and everything works out in the end.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,476
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- 1/1
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- 110
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Bookmarked by holdinggrudges
14 Jun 2024
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gorgeous. so in character so sweet so funny i love them so bad etc etc basically: perfect
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Summary
“I’ll do it,” Eddie repeats, looking at Buck in one of those silent conversation ways again, but Buck actually can’t figure out what he’s trying to say this time. It messes with his brain, until Eddie speaks again, “I’ll pretend to only be a little offended none of you have thought to ask me before, but Buck, I’ve fixed a lot of cars. I can look at yours.”
(or, the check engine light comes on in Buck's Jeep, Eddie volunteers to fix it and carpool with him in the meantime, and it all breaks down from there, literally and metaphorically)
- Language:
- English
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- 27,875
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by holdinggrudges
04 Jun 2024
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Bookmarker's Notes
me and buck are exactly the same (know nothing about cars and in love with eddie diaz)