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Once, as a kid, his mother had told him about tragic geniuses. The great writers and all their neuroses and miseries, all the brilliant thinkers who drank themselves to death or cut their own lives short to avoid bearing the weight of their minds. He always knew the statistics - the predisposition of those with high IQs to drug addiction, the increased rates of mental illnesses in Mensa members, the loneliness associated with higher intelligence.
His brain had always been his greatest weapon, especially when he turned it on himself. An obsessive mind is an addictive one, and Spencer Reid was nothing if not obsessed.
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It had been Emily who had loved him enough to keep him grounded and sober. And without her, how could he ever be strong enough to do it? The constant craving for quiet had been drowned out by the sounds of her soft sighs as his body pressed against her, by the consuming sensation of her around him and on top of him and in the beating heart in his chest.
And slowly, an idea formed. He couldn't have Emily anymore. But he could find something close enough. Some approximation to act as a temporary sigil to ward off the ghosts at his door.
It had worked before and it could work again.
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Something about the moment seems loaded in the way their conversations always do. Layered, laced with double meaning and possibility. It’s the body language, her body angled towards him, their knees brushing each other, her palm resting on the couch in the scant space between them. It’s her voice, dry and cold, but softening on the last syllable like she can’t bring herself to twist the knife. It’s the crushing weight of a shared history, nights spent sweating in hotels and kissing in shadowy corners of bars on nights out with the team.
He’s not a kid, but he didn’t believe that until he had her.
(OR: After dying in Georgia, Spencer visits Elle to tell her he finally understands.)
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He tries to count how many drinks he’s had, but loses track and knows the answer is too many, no matter how high the actual number may be. He’s skinny and barely a drinker, and how much has he eaten? How much water did he drink before accepting David’s expensive aged whiskey? He realises, with a freeing kind of euphoria, the answers to those questions don’t matter. What matters is how lovely he feels, how beautiful the room is, how lucky he is that David Rossi has brought him on as his personal research assistant. How kind David has wound up being, generous with his payment and his possessions. How handsome he looks in the dim light of the empty study in the giant empty house, how Spencer wants to-
“Another?” David offers, holding up the carafe.
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Even with years of experience handling psychopaths, the man puts him on edge.
Maybe it’s his quiet confidence, the way he’d strolled into the police station with his head held high despite the handcuffs and the jeers of the arresting officers. Maybe it’s the sheer sadism of the kills, the array of tools and methods to ensure the most pain possible was inflicted on his victims. Maybe, probably, it’s the way every victim on their evidence board looks like Spencer, his own face reflected in those of the mutilated bodies of seven young men.
Recent bookmarks
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“Mr Munson? Your complimentary champagne.”
Eddie Munson looks up from his phone, and his dark eyes widen in surprise. “Jesus Christ.”
“Uh. Steve, actually,” Steve offers awkwardly, hand still raised where he’d knocked. As first impressions go, Steve’s sure he is decidedly not making a good one.
“I’m sorry,” Munson huffs, shaking his head a little. His curls shiver around his face and oh god he’s even sexier in person. Steve is never going to survive. “I just- wasn’t expecting…”
“A man?” Steve preempts, with the knowledge that he’s one of two male attendants who tend to work this flight, and that it’s usually all pencil skirts and heels. Not that he’d be particularly averse-
“No, no. Someone so- attractive.”
OR
the flight attendant!steve/musician-model!eddie au we didn't know we needed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,486
- Chapters:
- 10/?
- Comments:
- 948
- Kudos:
- 2,709
- Bookmarks:
- 573
- Hits:
- 80,784
Bookmarked by hezzyjed
07 May 2023
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love is a battle i can win by palmviolet for beetlesandstars
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
25 Dec 2022
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"She’s taking a sip, dry and sharp on her tongue, when the doorbell rings a floor above, and she hears distantly Steve’s open delight, Robin, Dustin, back from the shit I won’t understand?
I’m a lesbian, Nancy thinks, taking another sip of wine. Eddie clinks his glass against hers and sneaks a slice of chorizo from Steve’s chopping board, tapping a finger against the side of his nose, shh, don’t tell, the way normal couples keep their secrets, the way honesty is earned and not borne on the back of a lie.
Love is a battle I can win. Nancy turns to face the door."
// Christmas 1994. Nancy faces her fears.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,653
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 105
- Kudos:
- 996
- Bookmarks:
- 335
- Hits:
- 9,066
Bookmarked by hezzyjed
21 Jan 2023
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Summary
2004, Chicago.
Steve Harrington finds himself as a sous chef for one Eddie Munson at the coveted Hellfire Grill.
Turns out, gay clubs, kitchen culture, and a penchant for aggressive men gives Steve an opportunity for more than he could have hoped for.
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aka steve and eddie be cheffin- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,907
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 396
- Kudos:
- 1,642
- Bookmarks:
- 863
- Hits:
- 30,339
Bookmarked by hezzyjed
14 Jan 2023
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Summary
Loop 6 - Steve
Eddie bleeds out in his arms.
Loop 27 - Steve
Eddie bleeds out in his arms.
Loop 304 - Steve
Eddie bleeds out in his arms.
Loop 368 - Steve
Eddie bleeds out in his arms.Bookmarked by hezzyjed
11 Jan 2023
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Summary
The people of Hawkins were still alive, folding donated t-shirts into neat piles in the middle school gym, and passing out boxes of canned food to families in need, and smiling to each other as they said, hanging in there? Good, me too!
But then the ground fell and the fires started.
And then the Hawkins citizenry abandoned ship like they were time travelers aboard the goddamn Titanic.
And then the Hellfire Club and associated extended party members commandeered Loch Nora and turned it into a safe zone for the miniscule remaining population of Hawkins.
And then the dead people started showing back up.
Or: Eddie’s in love with Steve, but it doesn’t really matter because the world ended a few months ago and he’s been living on borrowed time ever since. Steve’s in love with Eddie, but he’s been through this before with a wild-eyed, steady-handed survivor who was better off without him, and doing it again might be enough to kill him this time.
Or or: The Party are vampire hunters in post-apocalyptic Hawkins, in a world where soulmates can't harm each other.
Series
- Part 1 of no retreat, baby, no surrender
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,281
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 409
- Kudos:
- 1,343
- Bookmarks:
- 552
- Hits:
- 25,426
Bookmarked by hezzyjed
11 Jan 2023