eggbagelsjr
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“I’m the aesthetician. You’re the client. You’re not supposed to be professional.” She turned her back to him, gathered her supplies, and mumbled something that sounded a lot like damn you, Ronald Weasley, which Draco found he very much enjoyed.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” she said, returning to the table, hands full of various jars. “We’re going to get you waxed, send you home, and never speak of this again.”
Draco could hardly agree more.
OR: Draco gets his sack waxed after losing a game of chess.
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The Freak Accident in Room 1905 by Cailynwrites, eggbagelsjr, ETL_Echo_Audiobooks, Tiny_Q
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Jun 2023
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Outside her lab, Hermione was aware of four work-related facts: (1) she was employed by the Department of Mysteries, (2) she did research in the field of magical physics, (3) she was on the cusp of a very important breakthrough, and (4) she enjoyed her work immensely.
What she conveniently forgot during her off-hours: despite all her manifold professional and personal accomplishments, the primary reason she looked forward to coming to work was…
…Draco Malfoy, L.O.M.L. Maintenance Officer.
OR: Hermione Granger accidentally invents a magical bomb and has six hours to learn how to defuse it. Unfortunately, she's lost her memories. Double unfortunately, Draco Malfoy, the one person who can help her, is covered in blood and holding a knife to her throat.
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“You’re filing Form C0-UPL?”
Granger’s eyes were bright. She nodded.
Draco rolled his jaw. “You know you don’t have to submit one of these unless—”
“Any coworkers who consent to engage in intimate activities on two or more separate occasions,” she said, her voice falling into her trademark lilt he’d heard so often back at Hogwarts, “are mandated to file a notification of relationship initiation to Being Resources no later than one week following the second instance of relational congress.”
Draco’s shoulders slumped. Merlin. She’d memorised the policy. And recited it back to him. Had she not been referring to her activities with someone else, hearing the words from her lips might have had an inappropriate effect on the state of Draco’s trousers.
Inappropriate trouser thoughts? About Granger? Definitely not.
OR: Draco Malfoy needs a test subject for St. Mungo’s Relationship Instruction Program. Hermione Granger is the only volunteer. Then they collaborate on an article about workplace boundaries.
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Once Draco had realized he couldn’t sit for an hour listening to Granger talk about niffler rescues and the bowtruckle extinction threat and—gods—dragon sanctuaries without his cock swelling like it had been transfigured into the Leaky fucking Cauldron, he should have resigned. But here he was, trapped in this meeting for the twelfth week in a row, praying to fucking Merlin that cock suffocation wouldn’t lead to permanent damage. Or, maybe, that it would. Maybe if it fell off he could finally be at peace.
OR: To satisfy the terms of his parole from Azkaban, Draco gets a job at the Ministry where Hermione also happens to work. And then his cock suffers. Poor lad.
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Harry rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that wasn’t clutching the supposedly reformed criminal by the collar. “We’re working on it. I just need to release him into a DMLE agent’s custody.”
“Put him in the attic at Grimmauld!”
“But the kids,” said Harry, as if that settled it.
“Come on, Granger.” Malfoy licked the blood from his split lip. “I heard you had a soft spot for strays.”
And that was how Draco Malfoy came to live with Hermione Granger.
OR: When Draco Malfoy is released from Azkaban and has nowhere else to go, Hermione is forced to take him in. Over the next few months, she learns more than she thought she would about the man who shares her flat.
Inspired by @DramionePrompts on twt: "There's a spell for that."
Recent series
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Draco’s Quarter Life Crisis Collaboration Fest (an ETL Echo 2.5 year celebration) by abrilas, ambpersand, bear_hug, Beatificbean, Cailynwrites, ectoheart, eevans, eggbagelsjr, elivrayn, ETL_Echo_Audiobooks, forgotten_traveler, HeyJude19, In_Dreams, Ivmaruva, karma_cookie, mignonettes, morriganmercy, OneEqualTemper, Oukyn, Plume (smoke_and_plume), Roseheira, skitter, TiffyTea, Tiny_Q, whimsymanaged
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Jun 2023
- Words:
- 16,345
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- 2
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- 145