dirty_whorchata
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Summary
Beauty, tradition, and perfection: these are the pillars of the House of Szarr, a centuries-old perfumery owned by creative director and artist Cazador Szarr and shouldered by its next-to-nobody nose, Astarion Ancunín.
Overworked, underpaid, and determined to claw his way out, Astarion finds the perfect blend of unusual charm and genius—and the key to toppling the house for good—when he meets chemistry professor Gale Dekarios.
Or: one perfumer, one professor, one treatise on art, addiction, and the price of ambition.
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Against his better judgment, Astarion follows Gale home to Waterdeep, his mother, Hundur sauce, and a night to remember.
In which Gale cooks dinner and Astarion is hungry for something else.
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Habeas corpus: “to produce the body”; a summons to bring a detainee before trial.
Rebuilding life in the Underdark has been no easy feat. Astarion resumes his magisterial duties and faces a new slew of personal demons. Between trying to keep a camp of seven thousand vampire spawn alive and faced with the prospect of never seeing the sun again, tensions are running high. You can think of one way to resolve them.
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Following the fall of the Absolute and doomed to remain in the shade until you find a cure, Astarion has grown restless. He might have also meant it when he told you he'd missed his calling as a perfumer. Who were you to say no?
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Astarion starts his own perfumery with Tav and the help of the tadfools. Experimentation with pheromones and a night of passion ensue.
Recent bookmarks
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"But first things first. I'm not a whore. If we’re going to do anything tonight, darling, I’ll need to stay a few more days. Are we understood?" It's a half-truth, a sliver of honesty woven into the elaborate lie. He may not be whoring himself out anymore, but survival has a way of twisting morals. Without anyone watching his back, Astarion wouldn't last a day out there with no protection or ammo. His last clip went dry ages ago. If he can't gain this man’s trust, he’d be dead before sunrise. Maybe not from the infection itself, but getting ripped apart by those things is a real possibility – not to mention the raiders and cannibals that terrified him more than those fungus creatures.
Gale's grip on the blanket tightens, knuckles turning white.
Or...The Last of Us AU: The Punishing Blight tore across Faerun, leaving nothing but wasteland behind. Gale, a pragmatic and forward thinking man, has isolated and kept himself in the safety of his tower. He's done everything he can to survive and protect himself from the infected- blighters. Until one day... someone gets caught in his net.
Series
- Part 1 of Through Any Universe, I'll Find You
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When Gale was kidnapped by Orin, he was unaware that he would not be rescued at all, but rather kidnapped again FROM her by Gortash. To slave away in the Steelworks Foundry. Given his own personal incentive not to fight back, this did not prevent his defiance. He was instructed not to fail at his duties or he would be punished.
Naturally Gale of Waterdeep, the former archmage and Chosen of Mystra, did not like following rules.
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Put On The Red Light by IndiWritings
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
15 Sep 2024
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Four years ago, sex worker Astarion made the decision to move from the Flophouse to a higher end brothel. The work at the Palace is worse but the money is worth it - or so he tells himself.
So when a rich, dorky wizard turns up in his rooms, it means nothing to him - just another client, right?
Right??
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When Somebody Needs You (BG3 - Astarion) by LalinLavellan
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
12 Sep 2024
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WARNING! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR BG3 IN THIS STORY!
WARNING 2.0! THIS STORY IS VERY SMUTTY AND HAS INTENSE SEXUAL THEMES. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
After defeating the Cult of Bhaal, a copycat is continuing the murders. Before the party can deal with Gortash, they must stop the killer. Solana is a high elf magistrate in the Upper City and is next on the list to die. Bhaal, the killings, and the party play a larger role in her life than she could have realized. The seeds of death have been sown.
I also take a few creative liberties with the story—nothing crazy, just things to help deepen the story.
I don't own any characters, names, places, or ideas of the Baldur's Gate 3 game or Dungeons and Dragons. Larian Studios created Baldur's Gate 3, and Wizards of the Coast owns Dungeons and Dragons, a subsidiary of Hasbro.
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The Crooked Thoughts of Thinking Creatures by the_dork_urge
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
27 Jun 2024
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I wanted to dig deeper into Astarion's nature as a bloodthirsty predator, and this is the fic that came of that. He is neither soft nor fluffy here. Minthara is Minthara. It's a dark timeline version of act 1 events that deviates slightly from canon. I also took some small liberties with spell mechanics for the sake of the story, but tried to stay as true to lore as possible.
This is written from the perspective of an interloper who Astarion would view as acceptable prey, hence I created an OC instead of a Tav. I made up a whole backstory for her and I think she's neat. But uh, don't get too attached.