1 - 20 of 29 Works by crypticalWitch
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Mysterion has been a (mostly) solo hero for ages, as well as a general mystery, nothing more than an urban legend, a rumor, something that most people dismissed as ridiculous, like vampires, or aliens. But after Mysterion makes a appearance in the daytime, and an Alien attack means he has a new partner in crime fighting, keeping Kenny's nightly escapades a secret becomes just a little bit harder.
With new allies, old enemies, and overly nosy friends, our intrepid heroes really have to learn to roll with the punches, and keep the bruises cause by the ones they can't dodge well covered.
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(and the two where no one could)
Kenny and Butters are desperate to spend some time together without the rest of the group, and are constantly inviting the other out in the (apparently vain) hope to Level Up their relationship...
Unfortunately they both have magnets in their asses, terrible luck, and none of their friends are capable of reading a room.
They'll get it eventully, even if it takes the poor pair several months.
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A Mob Boss, A Supervillian, A Thief and A Mad Scientist open a Bakery by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: The Mechanisms (Band)
11 Jan 2024
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Ashes just needed to lay low for a few….years.
Jonny just needed to get out of super-villainy
Marius just wanted a better life for himself and his partner
and Raphaella is just bored.And Somehow, they managed to open a bakery together, without realizing they're… well not the most Moral people in the universe
(Based on the writing prompt "A small unassuming tavern is run by a retired superhero. The janitor used to be the biggest mob boss in the world. The chef is a monster hunter. The waiter is the head of a massive cult. They don’t know each other’s identities. When the tavern is in trouble, all four thought: “I got this.”" i changed it a bit but..)
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The One Where Everyone Tries To Steal The Necronomicon by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: South Park
22 Oct 2023
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"Informatrice suddenly spoke, “Uh, Mysterion?” her voice was tired as well, but worry seeped into her tone, which wasn't a good sign.
“What's wrong ‘trice?” Kenny growled into his com, standing up and brushing off his knees,
“You know that new book display in the public library?”
“The big fancy one about occult books?” Kenny asked, beginning to walk toward the library.
“Yeah, I'm looking at the library right now,” she winced, “and I'm seeing some of our new freaky-faced friends.”"Mysterion's Bad patrol gets worse as the cult descends on one of the city's libraries. Not to mention Chaos is acting strange and some familiar faces have appeared, tossing a spanner in the already screwed-up works.
Kenny really needs a nap.
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Craig Tucker and The Aliens stealing his guinea pig by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: South Park, South Park;the fractured but whole
23 May 2023
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All Craig wanted was a nice night on his Balcony with his fuzzy socks and stripe.
Unfortunately, Aliens do not care what Craig wants. At least he has Tweek, and about 15 more guinea pigs.
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"Museums had been broken into and stolen from, but the objects taken weren’t pointless frivolities, fires had been set without a single colorful firework or sparkler in sight, and important political figures had been threatened, but no silly videos had risen up in exchange for their safety, whoever this was, was an actual supervillain, not just in it for shits and giggles, and they were good at it. Kenny was almost nervous… almost. "
A new threat has begun to peer over the horizon, and without a name or a face, Mysterion must any chance to get information he could.
The drag stuff is just a bonus.
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The B-team are not good at saying when or if they want physical affection, and yet they still find their ways to offer.
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"It was the perfect plan. If Butters seemed interested, it'd be an amazing first date, and if not it, well it would be a fun hang out with a friend. "
Kenny attempts to have a museum date with butters, but his friends apparently can't read a room.
Afterward, Professor Chaos decides its a great plan to rob the very same museum for a very specific item.
Can Kenny and Butters have a romantic moment alone? Will Chaos succeed? Why does Mysterion refuse to join the circus?
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The Whole Rigmarole Of Running Errands For Your Friends by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: South Park
22 Jan 2023
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Solo patrols are usually slow and quiet...USUALLY.
Unfortunately, Kenny's friends have some errands that need to be run and Kenny thinks he can do everything.
Spoiler alert: he can't.
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Mysterion has a conversation with his 'lady in the chair' about her name, then they get coffee.
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Professor Chaos has a truly dastardly plan to bring chaos to the College campus, luckily, Mysterion knows Just how to stop it!
AKA
Butters throws a probably illegal pride parade and the consequences thereafter
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The first house is gone, and the gang once more live in a house together. they've recovered from Tords attack, but when a storm and a Nuclear blast gift them odd powers, things seem to go back to chaos.
(A Rewrite of my first ever fanfic, spurred on by a really boring day of work, a reread of the doc it was written on, an eddworld binge and a lack self control)
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Brian gets some well earned petty revenge on the crew of the house. This, as most thing involving the house, complicates some things.
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- Part 7 of Sometimes Family, Always Oblivious.
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Sunny should have been the universes last choice for a hero. He was quiet, he hated attention, He ran with a Gang, and there were much better candidates, Hell he saw one right next to him the day he got his powers.
of course, things don't work out quite how we want them to, huh? especially in Sunny's life.
---or---
Sunny becomes spider man, after running with the hooligans for years. he doesn't drop them, but the gang of vandals and art kids with shitty family lives become something more, united by their love of Sunny and their hatred of Basil's parents.
there will be love, there will be bromance, there will be nonbinary jokes, there will be found family, there will be breaking and entering into a fancy school's dorm to have a sleepover with your best friend, there will be angst out the wazoo and there most definitely will be a wisecracking spiderman!
enjoy!
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Magic, Super Villains, and The Power of Friendship by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
15 Dec 2021
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"Long ago, before humans rose from the earth, there were two forces. Mana and Decay."
As an old evil arises from the earth, an old power must rise up as well.
Remus isn't exactly Hero Material,
Logan isn't the strongest link in the chain,
But maybe they have what it takes to save the world.
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The Behemoth Incident and Related Events by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: The Mechanisms (Band)
19 Sep 2021
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King Cole and The Kaiser reveal their master plan, and only one is stupid enough to Stick around, but with a bodyguard like his, that's not really an issue.
Gunpowder makes sure its an issue.
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- Part 5 of Sometimes Family, Always Oblivious.
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Lyfrassir has a very interesting couple of days, including getting kidnapped, getting very strong superpowers, falling asleep in their crushes arms and doing a heist.
Marius has a rough go of it as well.
it all works out for about...99% of them....
(Title from The Horror and The Wild by The Amazing Devil)
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- Part 6 of Sometimes Family, Always Oblivious.
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Toy has an anniversary, a Conversation, and A decision.
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- Part 4 of Sometimes Family, Always Oblivious.
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Finding Allies and Friends in all Places by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: The Mechanisms (Band)
05 Aug 2021
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Gunpowder, Aurora, and D'ville have long stopped being the only two heros in the city.
Jonny, Natya and Tim have long stopped being the only secret keepers in the house.
these facts are not disconnected.
Chapter 1- Gunpowder and D'ville get in a sticky situation with General White of the Revolution, and a new hero comes to help, then Raphaella and Ivy get cuddly
Chapter 2- The Baron and Avalon take over for our intrepid heroes, who appear to have dropped the ball.
Chapter 3- All the Heroes Gang up on the Red Hood.
Chapter 4- Madam Alexandria drops a bomb.
Chapter 5- An Intermission.
Chapter 6- Cole forges an alliance and Gawains preconceived notions are challenged.
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- Part 3 of Sometimes Family, Always Oblivious.
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Lay your head where my Heart used to be. by crypticalWitch
Fandoms: The Mechanisms (Band)
02 Aug 2021
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death was surprisingly peaceful, if loney. Until Brian woke up in an alternate versions body. and then his more Murderous friends show up. WRONG. BAD.
Oil slick and silver grey, Brian needs to snap them out of it, and send them to their group afterlife.
Is he the Grim Reaper now?
*Fic and Chapter Titles from Green Grass By Tom Waits.*