covertpartyhat
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“What do you want, my son?” Talia asked him. “What do you truly want?”
And when Jason pushed aside his obsession with Bruce, the answer was so clear. He knew exactly what he wanted. He knew what he’d always wanted, ever since he was that little street rat who spent money he needed for food on making himself look clean. Because he’d needed to look clean and presentable to get into the public libraries. Because they wouldn’t have let a dirty homeless kid touch the books.
“I want to go to college.”
And Talia had made that happen for him.
(AU where, at the end of his League of Assassins training, Jason decides to go to Metropolis for college instead of going back to Gotham for revenge. Things spiral from there. The title is so sarcastic by the way. There’s nothing regular about Jason Todd.)
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- English
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- 51,139
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Bookmarked by covertpartyhat
08 Dec 2024
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“Yeah,” Jason sighed. “But I forgot I already know Japanese.”
Lisa and Susie paused in their eating to stare at him. “You forgot you already know an entire ass language?” Lisa repeated.
Matt, who had decided he would no longer freak out about Jason’s weirdness and hadn’t faltered at Jason’s declaration, said, “You can still change your enrolment for another two weeks.”
“Yeah, but Susie and I are supposed to have a language credit,” Jason explained. He was a little irritated by the situation. He came here to learn new things and he hated wasting money on a course he already knew the content of. Talia could afford to pay for it, but that wasn’t the point.
“Switch to a different language then,” Matt suggested reasonably, pulling up the list of languages the university offered onto his phone. “What about Spanish?”
Jason shrugged. “I know Spanish too.”
“Huh, alright then,” Matt said, undeterred. “French?”
“I know French.”
“Mandarin??”
“Know that too.”
“German???”
“Know it.”
“Arabic????”
“Definitely know Arabic.”
“Russian?????”
“Yes, I know— Hold on. Metropolis University doesn’t offer Russian.”
“Yeah, they don’t offer Arabic either,” Matt said. “The list ended so I just started naming languages.”
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Timeline: Batman by CrimeAlley1048
Fandoms: Batfamily - Fandom, batfam - Fandom, Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Batgirl (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
05 Oct 2020
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This one isn't fanfiction. This is my attempt at an age timeline for Batman characters, focussing on the adoption and/or appearance of each of Bruce's children.
This isn't going to work on mobile because of all the pictures, so I guess it's computer view only.
This is a post-crisis timeline (1985-2011), so it stops before the New 52 and everything after that. Here are the events discussed:
1. Bruce's parents die
2. Bruce becomes Batman
3. Dick's parents die
4. Dick becomes Robin
5. Jason becomes Robin and is adopted
6. Jason dies
7. Tim becomes Robin
8. Cass appears
9. Dick is adopted
10. Tim is adopted
11. Cass is adopted
12. Damian becomes Robin
I will be explaining myself to the best of my ability, citing issues, and including panels.
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The Gotham Onion (The Gonion, if you will) by southby
Fandoms: DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
19 Feb 2022
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Jason had zero intention of ever telling anyone he liked to write, much less that he accidentally became the secret author behind Gotham city's newest media obsession.
Series
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- English
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Bookmarked by covertpartyhat
02 Nov 2022
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Bookmarker's Notes
Jason slumped in his kitchen chair, in front of his computer. Staring back at him was his most recently published article, uploaded only 26 hours beforehand and already with over 12 thousand comments on it. (“Earth Totally not a Tax Haven, says Green Lantern Corps after 8th Lantern Assigned to Same Planet”).
Jason couldn’t bring himself to click the icon that would allow him to see how much site traffic he had (The most clicked article was the “Arkham Guard Visits Iron Heights, Amazed to Discover what Locks Are”, while the most commented article was “’Nobody knows how to stop him’ Says Armed Police Officer after Non-Powered Sociopathic Clown’s 82nd Massacre”).
He never even knew, never even bothered to check public interaction after uploading a finished article, just sent it on its way and let go of any crushing pressure that resided on his shoulders and weighed him down.
“Oh fuck.” He whispered, as he sank even lower in his seat. “Oh fuck.”
There was no way that Barbie didn’t know it was him behind the Gonion. No way.
Dreading the fallout he knew was about to come down on his head, he picked up a communicator and turned it on while slowly clicked the most recent Gotham Gazette article that read, “Bruce Wayne Responds to Gonion’s Allegations of Child-Snatching".
To be fair, there was no allegation about it, Jason had straight up called him a child-snatcher in “Meddling Parents Still Alive, Preventing Bruce Wayne from Adopting Yet Another Orphan”.
The static buzzed in his ear for only a moment before Oracle's laughter filtered through.
“I take it you’ve finally discovered your new-found fame?” The genderless voice came over the line.
Jason hissed back at her in a method so similar to Damian she laughed harder.
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Batstream by RandomReader13 for Ginevra_Benci, MousesizeDragon
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
06 Feb 2022
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“I want it on record that I think this is a terrible idea and I’m only doing this to mitigate the damage."
AKA
Red Robin decides it's a great idea to livestream patrol while Batman's off-world. It goes about as well as you'd expect.- Language:
- English
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Bookmarked by covertpartyhat
09 May 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
Barbara chuckled and patched Jason’s comms into the livestream. “Hey, Hood, welcome to the livestream.”
“The what?”
Barbara got a great shot from a security camera of Hood with his hands on his hips, radiating confusion and disbelief. “We’re live-streaming on Twitch,” she said, purposefully casual. “It was Red’s idea.”
“….oh Batman’s gonna kill you.” Hood sounded gleeful. “He might actually break his number one rule.”
“Fuck off, Hood,” Tim said.
“Right back atchya.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to be part of the livestream?” Barbara asked.
“We’ll only mock you forever for being a pussy if you don’t,” Steph said.
Hood rocked back on his heels and looked directly at the security camera. “You kidding? A chance to piss Batman off and tackle Red into a dumpster? I’m in.”
Tim yelped in protest but everyone else just laughed.
“Patching your mask cam now,” Barbara said. A seventh video feed appeared on the screen. “Red got Batgirl who got you. Happy hunting.”
“You fuckers better watch out,” Jason said, feral grin obvious in his voice.
“And you better change those gloves before you try to tag anyone,” Steph said. “I don’t want some random person’s blood on me.”
“Blood?” Dick inquired, punching a mugger’s nose in. Barbara had seen the move coming and blew up his feed for that second. The irony was too good to miss, and from the clips that immediately started dropping, the internet agreed.
“Serial rapist,” Jason said proudly. “I made sure he couldn’t, ah- reoffend.”
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Steph said cheerfully, “Bruce, from now on, consider yourself in possession of one Steph-mom.”
“Absolutely not,” Bruce said.
Steph took a bite of her cake, undeterred.
Bookmarked by covertpartyhat
06 May 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
“Bruce! You didn’t tell me you had a young lady over!” Steph announced, pushing her way into the library. Selina was reclined comfortably on the couch, her feet in Bruce’s lap. He glared at Steph, clearly understanding that she was about to pull some shit.
That did not deter Steph in the slightest.
She set the tray she’d brought down, put her hands on her hips, and looked Selina over. “Miss, I have to ask what your intentions are.”
Bruce rubbed his temples, like he was developing a headache.
Selina let a slow smile cross her face. “Purely nefarious, I promise.”
Bruce’s hand dropped over his eyes. Steph was pretty sure he was trying to will them both away.
“Well then,” Steph said, reaching down to the tray -- it featured juice boxes, graham crackers, and apple slices -- and lifting the lid off a little covered dish, revealing the glow-in-the-dark condoms inside. “Always remember protection! We don’t want any more little accidents running around swinging swords!”
Bruce was absolutely going to murder her, but it was worth it to get to watch Selina fall off the couch laughing.
“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!” Steph called over her shoulder as she fled the room to hide forever.